New Year's Resolution!
What a terrific year. Seriously! I do think that this is the MOST educational year that I've ever had! Hihhihik! I really had my ups and downs this year, and it's just cool when I think about it! What I should keep to myself.. and the things that I have to let go when it comes to the right time. ^_^
Someone once told me that when I get 18, I'll see that some things will change.. Now that I've come to look at it myself.. I see that I thought things have changed, but it turned out to be just the same..

SO! Number one on my New Year's resolutions list.. never trust people's words easily! Hahhaa~! That'd be hard for me.. you'd know that if you've really known me. So if someone says that they care for me.. I'd probably be a bit sceptical.. hehhe! ^_^ It just suxX when you say some things truthfully from your heart and you're replied with empty words..
Number two on my list.. probably learn how to express myself better. Nyehnyehh! I don't know.. kinda boring when people thinks that I have no problems at all when deep inside I feel like exploding with mixed emotions.. I really need to shake off this 'happy-go-lucky' and cheery theme. That'd be super hard though.. I remember in my school days.. even when I had a rough morning.. but as I see either of my friends had a sour face.. I'd usually smile anyways.. Gotta keep someone in the gang positive, 'aight? But heyy, I do need to take care of my own feelings too..! Especially now..
Be more independent is in number three! Hehhek! I'll start off with going shopping alone. Hahhaaa~! That sounds stupid, though. But I do need to be more independent!! Who can you count on, if not yourself? Your friends won't be there for you forever. (Yeah, I'm telling myself that everyday, now) Well, this year, I realized that I've been depending too much on the people around me. I need to make up my own mind starting from now.. Huuuuuu... Though.. err.. I'd still need my dad to pick me when there's break in the schedule. Hihhik! Even if it's a short break.. hihhihik! Not like I have any strong reasons to stay here! Hihihik!
Number four.. Less Y! M.. serious in classes!! Hahhahhaaa~!! My family would sure laugh if they see this. ME! Wanie! Serious! In anything? Especially class?!! Hahhahaa~!!! I'm laughing as well..! ^o^ Well, the Messenger part won't be hard. It's not like I need to be online so much, these days. Amazing, how I've gotten bored of this 24 hours of free internet. But the hard part about this one.. Huhhu.. LESS DOODLE, MORE NOTES! Yes, I'll try.. Huhuuu.. though, I'm pretty surprised that I'm never too affected by the things I do. I mean, if I goof around during classes. Could it be that I'm just usually dumb? Hahhaha! Well, I need to try and get serious. I should see how far I can get without silly distractions.. ^_^
And the final resolution.. (for now) Number five is EAT MORE!! Hahhahha~!! My family is starting to say that I look pale again. Huwaaaaa!! Doctor suxX!! I hate hospital and I hate pills! Sringes suxX even more! Scary.. scary.. I really reaaaaaally need to take meal times seriously. Huhuu..! Arrkk! Gets scary when sometimes I get tired so easily.. Huhuuu..

I realize that I've been learning a lot about the new terms in relationships this year. I used to have my good friends by my side all the time in school. Going to MMU.. parted me from them, and it really suxX! I really think that I'm too young to go to this stage (and I still think that way) First day of college life.. SCARY! Kept thinking about the friends I'll make.. my roomies.. Huwaaaaa!! ROOMIES!! The scariest part, truthfully. I remember when the person at the MPH door told me to come in alone. Huu.. I really wished I could drag my father along. Then walking in the killing sun towards the hostel.. got into my room and saw Fina with her family. Huhuu.. it was a pretty awkward situation. Later when I've put all my things in my room, I asked myself.. Did I went into the right room?!! Hahhaha~! So I tested my keys.. and yess, it's really my room. Later that afternoon, I met the other roomie, Ana! ^_^ Amazing that I've seen Fina at my school before since she was in her school Dikir Barat team while I took pictures of the competition since I'm with the Photography Club in my school. What a small world, huh!
It's just neat to look back in time, and see what you've gone through.. what have you learn from it. If you haven't done this before, make some time! Get a pen and paper.. get comfy and just.. remember! (the pen and paper is just for you to write something or just doodle on some stuff like I do.. hihhihik!) 1997 and 2001 was the year for total stupidity, 1998 and 2000 was my year of goofing off. 1999 was the year of fun and good findings. 2002 is the year for relationships. Neat neaaat!! Wonder what life will bring me in 2003!

pardon me for lingering around my memories..

Can't help myself..
o gosh.. my close friends would sure be sad if they knew what i've been thinking about these days... huhhuuhu
saw the wedding singer just now. gosh! though i've seen it before, and i've heard the theme song loads of times before.. i still think it has the sweetest lyrics ever! hahhaha.. honest, and sweet.. really like the movie..
mle this morning was a bit crappy.. humm.. my mistake, i guess. but me and fina spent our time doodling on some stuff. guessing lyrics and all.. hehhe~!
hehhehe.. now, i just noticed that most of the songs in my playlist are sad ones. i wonder how it all got there.. honestly, i don't really think they're all that sad, but it just brought a few memories. good ones.. but it makes me sad that it's all in the past.. huhuuu.. and now i wonder if i'll ever have as much fun as i had in those days..
demm! why is it so hard to forget? why is it so hard to let go? why is it so hard to hide away my feelings? this suxX!
but honestly, it doesn't suck as much as when a person we cared.. (and still do) thought that you had felt something that you didn't.. that really hurts.. but i guess that person will never know how i really feel.. too thick to understand, perhaps.. and i won't be around to answer if the person asks about it.. just.. i don't know.. i don't know what i feel anymore. i don't want to know!

current song : Stranded by Plumb
it's coming over you, it's coming over me
crashing like a tidal wave and drags me out to sea
i wanna be with you, you wanna be with me
crashing like a tidal wave, i don't wanna be..
stranded

These are my three-days worth of entry.. Nyehnyehh~

Friday - AaarrRrggHHhh!! Didaaaaaa!! Ninaaaaa!!
Stop making me feel concious 'bout my butt!! Sheesh!
Neways, remember last week when I said life's not that hard.. and I can get through it.. I take that back!!! It's hard on me, and I'm starting to get tired from telling myself that I'll be okay. Huwaaaaaa!! I'm tired of hoping.. I'm losing hope!! Huwaaaaaaa!! I feel so sad these days.. What pathetic life I'm having..
Hik.. I've seen my second round of The Two Towers! Hihhihik!! Makes me love Legolas more and more. Gosh!! Wish I could bump into someone like him one day.. Hahhahaa~! Pretty amazing that LOTR was his first movie. He just got out from his acting academy when his agent suggested that he should go for the audition, and he got the part!! And the coolest part about Orlando Bloom.. he's a real extreme-sports guy!! Hahhaha~! He has sky-dived, bungee-jumped and loads more stuff! Severed many of his bones and still standing!! Heehee~!! So sooo cool! And he's pretty hyper too! You'd know that if you saw The Making.. of that movie. and.. he's only in his mid twenties! Hihhihik! Can't believe that I've forgotten his birthdate.. huu.. gotta find that out some bit later.. o yeahh.. it's January 13th..!

I'm standing cluelessly in between of the truth and my dreams..

Saturday - And yet I still wonder..
Tiring daaayy.. went out for the whole day. Woke up around eight so I could come along in sending Dida to the bus station in Putra. (That's just across Nina and Mama's office) Owh! I guess I forgot to mention about that. Nina's now working with Tourism Malaysia as well as my mom, and she's actually one of the Assistant Director. Cool name, huh? But she haven't got any work yet. Hehhe!
So after sending Dida onto the bus, Mama and Nina went back to their offices (it was just 10 o'clock) while me and Papa went onto the STAR train and got ourselves in Jalan Masjid India. Honestly, I'm starting to enjoy looking around for marriages stuff. Hahhaa~! The varieties of bunga telur and bunga pahar just amazes me. There're loaaadddss of them!! Serius, banyak tau!! Kalau Wanie, tak tau nak pilih mane! Good thing I have at least five years to think about that. Okehh.. > Confession! < (you asked for this, Rai) Honestly, I've never thought about when I want to get married.. But SERIOUSLY.. I've thought.. that I should at least have a steady boyfriend by 24. Hehhe! Aaaannyways.. It's just fun to look around for those things. Funny though.. as me and my dad looked around, we noticed that plenty of people stared at us. What?! Is it too odd if if a girl walks around with her dad with her hands in his?? Huhh??! My dad even noticed a guy spun to look at us even after he's walked past us. Heehee~! Maybe he thought I'm too young to be a mistress.. hehhehek!!
So, right when Nina and Mama's office hours were over.. we went back kampung to discuss with some people 'bout Nina's wedding.. khemah.. menu.. menda menda gitu Honestly, I have no time for myself now that I'm taking part for the marriage!.. which is good 'coz God knows what I'll be thinking about if I have too much spare time.. Huu.. though I really wanted to go to Ana's open-house.. but I was in my grandma's house until sunset. But then, we had early dinner at that place in Klang.. what is it called? Emporium? And saw this cute guy who works there.. ahhahhaa!! Papa.. jom gi Klang lagik! Well, he doesn't look like Orlando but he's pretty cute.. Hihhihik!
Funny that you thought you knew something when you actually don't.. and funny if you noticed how much I'm using the word 'funny' in my blog these days! HAHHAHA!! I do think my life is funny these days. It's just so surprising that I can't help myself to laugh. Heehee~!

Pabila bulan bersinar memberikan cahaya biru,
Dan hanya diri terpaku menggapai sinaranmu,
Hulurkanlah tanganmu kepadaku,
Jangan biarkan diriku sendiri merindu padamu..
Misha
Sunday - I'M supposedly FINE!!
I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine..! God, I'm tired of convincing myself that. Honestly, I AM fine.. but there are just some points when I just.. stood mindlessly again.
Eyh.. eyhh!! About my webby.. I know I've been promising over and over again.. but now it's final!! I'll update it in mid-January in due of something important to someone important.. Hohhoho!
Heehee.. Papa told me a funny story about Jasmin.. AHHAHAHA!! Nina.. Nina.. that's your luck! ^o^ Eyh, Rai.. you said you'd come, 'aight?! Datang taaau!
Amazing, when you think about your luck.. and fate. And your destiny.. huhhuu.. Sometimes you'd wonder how did it happen to you, sometimes you'd wonder how was it possible that you could've gone through that. It's just amazing!!!
2002 is a good year!! Good good year!! I love this year!! I think I've grown up a lil' in this year. AHHAHAHA!!! Though, I'm still Papa's lil' gurl. My dad said he'd be surprised if I come home one of these days with a handbag. Hehhehek! He could just imagine me with a sling bag. Hehhek! Handbag is too much mature for me. And now that I've got myself a sneaker.. Yeaaaayy~!! I can get back to my old self. Tapi alamaaak.. kena tuka whole wardrobe lah! I miss my old self! Baju kurung with sneakers.. Hehhehe.. my parents didn't approve that, but I just HAVE to rebel! Yeeheehee~!
I've decided some things for my resolution!! Hahhahhaa~!! And I'll start some of it ASAP.. ^_^

IHTFT You're not gone but you're not here..

ouch~!
two things i need to take note of to start letting go...
1 stop myself from reading old posts and my scrapbook (which i've taken care of since i already bought a new one.. the old one has ran out of clean pages! ehhehe..)
2 shut my ears if i ever listen to kris dayanti's songs and other sappy malay love songs.. ahhahaha!! except misha's.. 'coz i really like her songs.. even if it's sappy and torturing.. and making me get head aches! hehhek~!

How odd...
majin.. nak balek buku wanie.. tak puas lagi nih bace.. rinduuu! selagi tak sampai 4 round, selagi tu wanie tak puas! hehhek~!
okay.. tengah malas nak cakap english.. so kite bebel in malay lak. skali skala... hehhehek!
neways... pagi yang bengong.. rasenye mase bangun tadi okay.. kat umah tadi okay.. jalan gi kelas tadi okay.. bile balek bilek jadi tak okay lak.. camne tuhh?
kenape kadang kadang.. terase cam sakiiiiiiiiiit sangat hati.. ke sebenarnye kite mengade je lebih?
kadang kadang terase nak menjerit.. tapi kite tak nak orang denga.. sebab nanti diorang tanye kalau kite ok.. mestila kite tak ok!! kalau tak, kenape nak jerit?!
kadang kadang hati terase beraaaat sangat.. tapi kite tak tau macam mane nak cakap. macam mane nak start? sedangkan kite sendiri susah nak percaye.. macam mane kite nak lepaskan kat orang lain?
and kadang kadang tu.. paling tak tahan bile kite tau ape yang kite nak cakap.. tapi kite tak dapat nak cakap.. sebab kite tak mau susahkan hati orang lain.. 'coz we care about them.. sakit hati ek? and kite pon tak nak dia ingat kite selfish.. sebab bukan tu maksud kite... sedihnye laa rase bile kena camtu. kenape things camtu happen ekk?
cam.. kite betul betul nak orang tu tau macam mane kita betul betul rasa.. tapi kita faham sangat, kalau kita cakap mesti dia rase lagi sedih dari ape yang kite rase. kite tak mo dia rase camtu.. but kite nak lepaskan rase hati nih... macam manaaaaaaaaaaaaa??!!!! geram nye raseeeee!! rase cam nak bagitau sumer orang yang kite jumpe.. tapi lagi kite cakap pasal tu, lagi kite rase sedih! huwaaaaaaaa!! nape jadi camni ekk..
rasenye cam lagi elok bergaduh dari jadi camni. hahhaha~! lagi lak nak sedih bile orang nak cakapkan bagi pihak. wanie bukannye marah.. cuma sedih.. and bodoh la..! dahlaa bengong.. nak besakan benda benda yang kecik plak..hisy! kenape jadi mengade sangat nieeehhhh!!
okaylaa.. wanie dah penat pikir banyak sangat.. kalau dah suruh let go tu.. kite kena aje laa ikut kan?
owhh.. kalau ade sesaper yang tak tau nape aritu wanie cakap kalau wanie elf, wanie dah mati... elf ni immortal.. but, they can die from kesedihan. kesian ekk? hehhe.. bukan kat wanie laa.. kat elf!

let go...

New Resolutions!!
hehhe.. kinda funny.. thinking about this whole year.
all the bumps and humps i've had through.. all those laughs and tears.. it's really cool to reflect on the whole year.. i think i'll spend my weekend.. writing on my new year's resolution! hehhehek!
now i wonder why i didn't took up mass communication or something like that. aarghhh! my mistake! maybe i should think about that one after i graduated this one.. hehhek! though.. i know my family would be really surprised if i made that sort of decision.. hahhaha!! me.. further my studies! and everybody knows that i'm just lazy at that!!! ahhahaha~!
going to class now.. later-!

I Can't Catch You

I guess you could say I'm a little afraid
What if you go away? I've seen it before,
I've been here before.
If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself.
What's there to love about myself?
I just want to see that as a person you want me.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.

I guess I would say that I want you to stay
'Cause you have this strange knack,
Adds a glow to my black as you chase it all away.
And I hope that you can see I will someday leave these things.
I am waiting to be free.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.
Oh, I want to catch you.

Sixpence None The Richer

ex-xxxxx.. A question of believe..
Hey heyy!! Got back from home this morning.. and going back again after my classes! Weeee!! Why? 'Coz my sisters roxX!! I really thank God for my fate with them. Hehheh~! Going to see my second round of The Two Towers this evening!! Yeayyy~!!! Thanks Nina.. Dida..!! Hihhihik!
So.. what was this week like? HORRIFYING!! Truly.. madly.. SCARY! I've had two rough weeks in a row.. and now that I've calmed myself.. and got some time off.. and think of what really happened.. I have to say that life is not that hard.. I can get through this!! Hehheh!! Well.. if things haven't happened to you before.. keep in mind that there'll be a start of something! ^_^ I have to say that I am really.. reaaaaaaally fine. Nothing to worry! Though, I realize that I have nothing much left to look forward to in tomorrow. Everything just gets blurry these days.. Hey Niez! I still need to see youuu! Hihhihik! I have this need to shop!! I don't know how.. but if I buy some things for myself.. that can make me happy! Huu.. scary, huh? But not that scary.. 'coz I'm usually happy.. and that means I don't need to shop a lot! ^_^
Now.. ever heard of a saying that goes like 'What goes round, comes around'? Amazingly.. that's what happened to me! I did something to a certain someone.. and now, after two years.. someone else did it to me.. for the same reasons!! It hurts, really.. but I can smile about it, now.. God!! Can't believe that I am capable of saying some things that can make it hard on the ones I care and on myself!! Hahaaa~! Goodness.. thank God I have my ego to save myself from getting myself into any more sticky situation.. hik!
Okie.. so Dida brought home a Malay album.. that Misha girl.. and I have to say.. I LIKE HER SONGS!!!! 'Coz she has a really nice voice.. Honest!! Really reaaaaaaaally like her songs. And now that Dida have also brought home Nick Carter's album.. I feel obligated to find the MP3 for this one song.. aaAaaAaA.. it's a very very sweet song.. **but I need the world, now** which happens to only require a guitar! Ohhohoho!
Just realized some of the irony in life.. Amazing isn't it? When you look into a person.. even into their eyes.. You thought they sparkled with such happiness from their smiles. But deep inside their hearts.. they mourn for a story that you never knew of..
Hehh.. Pandai kau tukar topik ek Rai! Gile banyak kredit aku abes call kau.. sheesh!
Now.. hopefully there won't be any class for me tomorrow.. I'd be SUPER DUPER lazy for it.. Yeech~!

Misha's songs are neaatt!!

Hehhee... funny that I actually downloaded this song yesterday afternoon..
Jangan Diucap Selamat Tinggal

Kumencari -kumencari apakah salahku
Kau buat ku termenung seorangan
Dalam diri sangsi
Akhirnya begini
Perpisahan tak ku duga

Kumengerti kufahami keputusan diri
Biar saja aku sebegini
Permintaan terakhirku jangan kau lafazkan
Simpan saja kata-kata

Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Jangan kau ucap selamat tinggal
Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Kepadaku...

Walaupun seketika, walau sekelip mata
Simpan saja kata-kata ke akhir hayat yang ada

Shades

I just hate the fact that I understand it so well..
What a funny start-of-term. Gosh.. I believe anyone would be surprised if they're in my shoes right now. (but of course, I'm not wearing any shoes at this moment since I'm in my room! Hehhek!)
Ummm.. better concentrate on my studies anyways. That would be one of my NEEDS. Can't believe how lucky I got through these years. When I was diagnosed for something.. got serious about it for just some months.. when I should eat and still be taking some stuff (but I didn't).. It didn't got worse! I'm still here.. fooling around.. and still got this far. I just keep amaze myself these days.. Hehhehh! Really should start getting serious about those important stuff. Huhhuu.. now I'm getting afraid of letting the ones I care, down. Reaaaaally have to get my mind straight, and concentrate on these important stuff... And I just turned 18!!! I should have a long way to go.. (that's if my prediction all this while is wrong!) Hehh!
Oh heck.. things happen for a reason.. and I'm taking the things that had happened to me as a sign. Heyy.. if sad things happen to you all at once, that SHOULD mean something, 'aight? Last week was horrible for me.. new things happened to me.. but I was thankful that one sort of thing didn't happen to me at that time.. but now that it had happened.. I am also thankful, that it got me realize the things I should think of, before I start jumping onto some stuff.
2002.. what a year. I'll sure remember this year forever for it taught me a lot of things...

Funny that I sensed it someway.. and refuse to take note of it..
And funny that if I were born as an elf.. I would've died...

I Will Remember You

I'm so tired but i cant sleep
standin on the edge of somethin much too deep
its funny how we feel so much but cannot say a word
we are screaming inside but we can't be heard

i will remember you
will you remember me?
dont let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories

i'm so afraid to love you but more afraid to lose
clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose
once there was a darkness deep and endless night
you gave me everything you had oh you gave me light

and i will remember you
will you remember me?
dont let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories

weep not for the memories

It's on my desk so I can always see it~
okie.. felt tired trying to finish my webby with this horrible keyboard. i'll try to get it done after the christmas..
ehhehe.. had fun with fina.. talking about crap.. watched the fellowship of the ring.. played around with my new teddy.. hihhik..
okiee.. kinda sleepy.. and i've got class for tomorrow morning.. huuhuu.. later!

ooo anaa.. wanie bagitau kat tu.. tuu.. karaaang..

Farizzzzz!!!! Thank youuu!
Heeheee~! can't stop myself from grinning...
thank you Fariz.. I really really reaaally like it. hihhik!
Thank you, ekk!

Kawaaiiiiii! my bear and my boyfriend.. hihhik!

Curses and stones
now, pardon me for the capital letters.. i'm having some problem with my keyboard.. can't press the shift key or something weird will come out.
well.. today.. it was kinda.. crappy in a way. honestly, i shouldn't really be affected by it. for an example.. take anyone that you know.. even yourself.. you don't need EVERYTHING in life, right? just some things.. and i've got my some things.. the rest.. wateva dude!
but anyways.. i have great roomies, i have to say. after class this morning, we went down to hb4 cafe for lunch and kinda hung out.. gosh, we hung out for such a long time. pretty neat...
though... i think i'd be happier if i'm at home.. hahha.. might be going back home tomorrow.. not that i'm celebrating christmas! but i'm using my chance to get away from my troubled mind while i'm at this place.... hehhek
okie.. later now.. got some things to do.. i think

mithrandir~!

Really should've just..
Ha~! I know I should just let go of this.. I'm trying hard to let go, really.. But I just can't.. and *demm* it hurts!!
Let's just say that I'm afraid of having anymore hope for myself. Mental, huh?
Sorry Hanis! Can't let go.. I know you've told me to.. but I just can't.
Amazing how my imagination can really run wild.. As my dad drove me back here.. I just kept thinking of scenes when I won't have to get back here.. Pretty extreme really.. but nothing much new.. heh~! Of course, I've been having extreme thoughts even in my 'tweens' life! How troubled can I get?? VERRRRY! Still amazes me that I got this far.. 18! That's a large number.. wonder when the number will stop to add up..

F*ck, shit!!.. aAaaAa.. Legolas is so damn cute!!
Heehee~! Saw The Two Towers todayy!! It was so sooo kewl~! Hanis was so sooo kewl~!! Gurl, you rock my Earth! Thank you loaaaaaddds! Heehee~! Actually, I only planned to go out for just few hours.. Maybe strolling around Pyramid.. looking for something to give to Musz and survey out some shoes.. (PAPA I NEED NEW SHOESSSS!!!) So I did stroll around and got a necklace for Musz.. (Hope you like it, sis!) And me and Hanis went to some irrelevant shops (acting like we WERE looking for something) 'coz we've got nothing else better to do. And Hanis asked.. "Wanna see a movie?" And so.. we went to the TGV and got two tickets for the 3 o'clock show. Got lunch.. talked about stuff.. (my mental especially!!) and.. THE MOVIE!! It was just.. awesome!! Orlando Bloom was just cute!! AaaAaAaAaa!! So so so sooo sooooooo cute!! Hahhaha!! Though, there are some bit of changes in the movie from the book.. but heck! Legolas' cute! Hahhaa~!! I mean.. Peter Jackson's interpretation of The Two Towers was great!! Everyone should see it!! I mean, everyone should see it.. at least TWICE!!! Hahhaha~!! I think I really should get paid by advertising the movie constantly.. ^_^
oOoO yeahh.. don't misunderstood the title up there.. The curse was for the part where the Orcs and Men battled. I mean.. gosh! It seemed painful! I just had to express it somehow.. Hehe! And then.. came the shot with Orlando on it.. aAaAaAaa~~ Legolas and Gimli just amuses me in every single shot of them! The battle in Helm's Deep just roxX!!! Hahhahaha~~!!!
Can't wait for my second round.. Ihik! ^_^
Honestly, last week was horrible! It was the most horrible week I've ever had in my whole 18 years of life! But I guess you'll just have to have it someday, huh?
But heyy.. I'm still trying my best to keep my kewl.. I haven't been dissing around without knowing what's really going on.. I'm quite perfectly fine! But yeah.. can't deny that I'm still having that bit of a mental instability problem and THAT'S a "f*ck shit"...
But heyy! With the thought of Orlando in my head.. nothing minor can dampen my spirit.. (I think!) hihhik~!

Tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't

Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how i feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change

Going back home
So thankful that I'll be going back home!
Would anyone care if I don't come back?
I've been living in a dream.. I don't know 'bout anything anymore...
I lost control of everything in just one day...... Amazed myself, really..
I guess I shouldn't really care.... but I'm being the reason for the unhappiness of someone I care...
I'm not sorry that they feel that way towards me...
But I'm sorry for making that one person unhappy...
If I could turn back time, I would....
Sorry Ana....
And thanks Fina... really appreciate it.

I really deserved to die...

SLEEEEEP!!
Okay.. going off to sleep now. I've been saying that since the last hour but I was so into my timetable! Hahaa~! Just did a new desktop with my timetable on it.. It looks so RETRO!! Hahaa~!! Mine's in red-ranged colors while Ana's with green.
Seriously retro! And now that I'm satisfied.. I really need to go to sleep!!!

Peace.. dude

oOoOo gosh!
Can't believe I actually posted a silly entry. I've deleted it already.. not sure if anyone have read it.. Hihhik! It was up only for one and a half hours. Ehek! Can't believe that I'm losing my mind as much! Yikes! I'm afraid of what I'll say next.. I'm always scared of this.. Honestly, there's just some points when I feel like saying the things that are impossible to take back.. Honestly, throughout my life.. I think I've sorta let myself out for... like.. four.. yeah, I think four times. Which I regret one of it. Eheh!
Okaayy.. another crappy night, I have to say. I'm like... very close to explode. So.. I'll go out with Musz this Saturday.. Dayat.. confirmed that she can't come.. And Niez.. it'll depend on how she did for her papers.. and if her dad are satisfied enough with them. Huwaaaaaaa!! I just hate the fact that I can't control all the things I want!! Huwaaaaa!
This suxXx! Well, I sucked to be honest! I think I do need to hit my head on something hard so I could faint and forget the things that's troubling my mind.

No magic should be used between classes in the corridors

Huarrghh!
Just my luck.. I felt sleepy this afternoon but I just couldn't get my eyes shut.. And Fina played the movie in her laptop.. Empire Records. Pretty neat. Mark is so crazyy!! (and not mention.. cute!) ^_^
Gosh! I'm getting dizzy with the schedule! Honestly, I thought arranging our own shcedule was fun.. But really, it's more to streanous than fun!! Especially since the MMU people likes to change the first schedule to something different which leads to some clashes of my classes!! Urrghh!! Baka-na But it's okay now.. THANK GOD! I'm getting really reaaally dizzy trying to work it.
Okiee... now, I need to say.. that my webby might be up on Monday. Huhuuu..! Have this sudden shock.. of going back to classes again.. Realize that I can't finish it up as I expected.
Huhuu.. big possibilities that I'm going off sick in some days from fatigue!! I don't get enough sleep and rest.. I don't eat.. and I think I'm having this bit of "culture-shock"! I mean.. I've been hanging around.. relaxing for the past three weeks and now.. I have to get up early and straight to SHOWER.. and get ready for CLASSES!! And it's *demm* hot here in Cyberjaya!! I'm having a MAJOR dehydrationn!!!! Aaaaarrrrghhhh!!!! Plus, the fact that I'm MENTAL right now.. Huhhuuuu!
This so called "culture-shock" suxXX big time! I'm not eating!! HEEELLLP!! I'm just not hungry! Even if I'm eating.. it's just for the sake of spending my money on something and eating. It's like.. I'm never hungry!!!!! I just need WATERR!!! Aaaaarrrghhhh!! Why am I not hungry?!!!! Heellppp!!!
I wanna go home... I'll eat when I get home.. Huwaaaaa!! I want home!!!

Food suxX!!.. at this moment

@ Lab
Yeaaahh~!! Tengah takde keje nihh.. I'm with my friends right here in the computer lab.
oOooO yeahh.. EPPY BIRTHDAY DIDAAAAA!!!

Lalalaalalalalaaa.. so bored

Not quite ready to sleep
Stress.. helllppp!! My shoulder really aches right now! It's like.. super strained! Yeoww!
Actually I was about to go to sleep.. when I received a phone call.. from Rai!
Ehhehehek! Thanks for the call.. I feel appreciated again! Ahahha~!! Alwaaaays like that.. calling me up so late at night. For what? To talk about stuff and tease me! Ahahha~! Tak tahan.. dahlaa mentigakan pasangan! Koraaaaaannng!! Azraai "by"! Larikan diri!! Well, larikan partner korang la.. tu lagi bahaye! Ehehhehek! Sudah ramai yang menjadi mangse.. isyk isyk isyk.. And I pity them all.. Ehhehehekk!!
Humm.. felt really horrible right then.. but I am feeling much better now.. ^_^
Big thanks to the kewl guys I have around me! Hik!
OooOo yeahh.. I should mention 'bout my results 'aight? Since I don't think that it's too TOO bad.. well, I got 2.81 for my CGPA. Funny how I got the same points as Ana did.. and now we also have the same exact schedule for our classes!! Ahahhaha~!! Hope we won't get too bored of each other.. Hehhehek! Neways.. I got a big fat C for Graphics (I admit that I did horrible in the test.. all to my lack of responsibility to READ!) B- for Fundamental and a consistent B+ for my English. I have to say.. I'm amazed with that B+ as I did the final paper in a great GREAT pressure!!! Ahhahha~! Of course, that's an old story...
Oh well.. I REALLY need to get to sleep or I'll look horrible in the morning. My beautiful complexion!! AaaAaAaAa~~!!!
AHHAHAHAHHAA!! Yeah, right! As if I cared THAT much! Now, g'nite peeps! I do need some sleep.

Thanks dear.. you mean so much to me.. Wekk!!

'Coz I wasn't born as a heartless b*tch
I honestly feel so tired!! I haven't had the enough amount of sleep I need.. I'm having that stupid back pains.. my heart aches.. I wish I could just.....!!!
So sooo tired for 'caring' about those small little things. I am seriously ill! If I could get one wish... just one wish.........
It's a wonderful day today.. and the whole night before. (Kept awake for the whole night.. talking to Ana and BJ) And when the night comes, it just sucked! I really don't know what really upsets me. I hate the fact that I don't even know what I feel. I hate the fact that I can't just tell myself.. what I need. I'm always wondering.. asking myself if I'm happy. Sometimes it just felt like I don't deserve to be happy! I always end up getting hurt anyways...
Okie Fariz, you didn't do anything to me.. maybe it's just my crappy mood that gets in the way. Honestly, you did nothing wrong.. so you don't have to worry about anything, okie!
And to my friends.. my ever dearest friends.. I'm sorry to say that I get tired with you guys sometimes.. It just seemed that I'm the only one who's holding strong to this friendship. Why? I ask myself that at times like this. Sorry fellas! A girl can only take as much. I'm such a bad plnaner.. I'm never good at planning things up.. But why is it when I'm with you guys.. it's always me who gets the job.. I'm the only one to worry about these matters.. I'm the only one who's trying to make it work. I'm tired of worrying!! I'm tired of planning!! I'm just TIREDDD!!!! So the next time we want to get together.. either three of you plan it out okay. I'm sick and tired of persuading and trying to make it all work. Just... tired!! I'm doing this weekend for the last time okay!! If it doesn't work.. fine! I'll find some other people who's willing enough to make some time..
Selfish am I? No I'm not.. It was a promise and I just happen to try as hard to hold on to it..

What ever..

Heehee~!!
Gosh! I got here around 6 and I still haven't finished my unpacking! Hihhik!! Found something in my bag.. a silly little card from that weighing machine.. Hahhaaa~!! It was funny.. to me, my dad and Nina. They laughed reaaaaally hard when I read it aloud.. I laughed a little.. 'coz in a way.. my dad and sister was mocking me.. Hahhaa~! It said, "IF a woman, you will make an ideal wife. You are loyal, responsive and endearing" Ahahhaa!! Of course everybody laughed! I'm almost none of that!! Yeech!!
Gotta get back to my unpacking! Gosh!! Who would've thought that such small card can do a lot of distractions?

General Meaning: What has traditionally been known as the Sun card is about the self -- who you are and how you cultivate your personality and character. The earth revolves around the sun to make up one year of a person's life, a fact we celebrate on our birthday. The Sun card could also be titled "Back to Eden." The Sun's radiance is where one's original nature or unconditioned Being can be encountered in health and safety. The limitations of time and space are stripped away; the soul is refreshed and temporarily protected from the chaos outside the garden walls. Under the light of the Sun, Life reclaims its primordial goodness, truth and beauty. If one person is shown on this card, it is usually signifying a human incarnation of the Divine. When two humans are shown, the image is portraying a resolution of the tension between opposites at all levels. It's as if this card is saying "You can do no wrong -- it's all to the good!"

The so called 'educational' break
Heehee~! Well, that's what I said before the break.. there was a thought of having an educational school break but it seemed that I didn't have enough time to get to the 'educational' part. Nyehnyehh! Yeahh.. I did open up those programmes I wanted to learn, but as I stared at it... my thoughts just went.. "what was I going to do just now?" So I closed them back.. Heehee~!
Humm.. three weeks of break.. wasn't enough really.. to do all the things I wanted to do. But it's long enough for me to miss my friends. Nothing much happened through out those three weeks.. But I'm thankful enough that I didn't spend all my time by sitting around at home.

Movies
Huuu.. haven't got enough of my 'magical' movies dosage. Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets was neat {though I enjoyed the book better!} but I just can't help myself from getting anticipated for The Lord Of The Rings:The Two Towers!! My heart just beats faster everytime I saw or heard the advert for it! Aiyyayayaaa!!
Aidilfitri
What can I say.. it was horribly boring! Weird enough, this is the very first time I didn't even feel a bit of that 'raya feeling'. It was just.. a day where we can start eating in the daylight again! I don't know.. just.. that 'twinkling' sensation was no where during Aidilfitri this year. But it wasn't so bad I guess...
Sisterhood
Funny what your siblings can do to you. Well, Dida took a long break. So what does that mean? It means that I had to endure her much longer!! Yeahh.. quarreled and all that. And had to endure the times she teases me.. And pretty much stupid that she said my butt seemed bigger!! DUHH!! Mengarutlaa katak! But heyy! Nina and Dida taught me something new! Now I know how some guys can see when a girl is having her period! Now I know the secret! Nyehnyehh!
And Musz is just absolutely GREAT!! She just had her way of timing. Calling me up just when I got bored of sitting around. Went around on the 11th. Ended up in Mid-Valley.. amazingly bumped into some old friends!! Arep, Zooleak, Ridhwan and Ahmadsyah which of course, I can bump into him any day in MMU. But it was a pretty neat coincidence! Such a long time since I last saw those guys! And at the end of the day.. Musz bought me an owl for my birthdayy!! AHHAHHA!!
New books
Bought some new books during the break! Wee~!!! And it's the book I wanted so soo much! It's Rowling's Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them {Harry Potter's text book} and Quidditch Through The Ages {Hogwarts' library book} Totally neat!! It was such a fun read!! So I spent RM 40 for them, but heyy! I'm HAPPY!!!!!! ^_^ Thank you to those long hours of walking around in the MPH Bookstore! Hik!
Birthday
I'm 18!! Hahhaa~! Well, I don't think that anything much would change.. but I guess we'll have to see some bit later...! Thanks to all my friends who remembered! Sape yang tak ingat tu.. I refuse to remember yours next year! Tak kesahh!! I'm holding a grudge, here! Huhh! Hihhihik! Surprised Nina when I showed her a daring SMS that I got.. It said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU!" Hahhaa~! Of course.. the only person that's brave enough to say that is my FATHER! Hahhaa~!!! And if there's an award to give away for the best birthday wish.. I'd give it to Dayat.. 'coz it was hilarious!! It goes something like.. "you're old enough now.. so you can see the 18+ movies without hessitations!" Gosh! Of all the things to wish.. she said THAT! Ngeee~!!
Terengganu
TIRING!! 9 hours of road-trip. I swear that my err.. koksik feels swollen! Yeoww! It hurts baaadly! Well, went to Terengganu to sent off Dida back to Kerteh. {She's kinda having her practical in Petronas Cari Gali} I have to say.. it's just lucky of her to get the chance to be there. Just last month she got to go to the pelantar minyak. (Sorry, I'm pretty much too sleepy to find the English word for it while I'm typing this out) And she has that yellow suit for keeps! Huu.. just lucky of her to be one of those Petronas scholar. Makes me hit my head why aren't I as smart as my sisters! Yeech! Oh what the heck.. then I wouldn't be ME! ^_^
ooOoOo yeahh.. the new webby will be up later this week.. that Terengganu trip drained all my energy out to keep on working on the webby!
Self-discovery
Why, of course! I always get that every time I had too much time to myself. So what did I learn? Well.. compromise is one thing. Gosh! It's kinda hard to do that! Really! And I realized that saying sorry could get a bit hard sometimes. I mean.. as a brat as I always am.. when someone says something to me.. something that infuriates me.. I'd usually say something back to them! And.. I just had this one moment when I just stopped and no words could come out. The next thing I know.. I said "sorry" and I really mean it! Huu.. kinda hurts really.. to push a bit of my ego. Hahhaa!! Humm.. what's there left of me without this ego.. ^o^
Humm.. and when I get the chance to day-dream.. the thoughts that came to my mind really made me realize some things. Freaks me out a little.. but not really! Get what I mean? It's like.. if I think about it some months ago.. I'd go screaming my head off but since it just came.. I'm quite prepared and ready for it! Hahhaa~! Don't mind me if you don't understand what I'm saying. Just a note to myself, then! ^_^

Aaaaaand as much as I hate it, the break is now over! Sad really.. I didn't even get to see Niez and Dayat during the break. I MISS YOU GUYS SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS!! Huwaaaaaaa!! Please oh please make this Saturday work.. Dayat.. confirm your paper right away please! Hanis, get back home A.S.A.P!! Musz, pack all your stuff early so you won't forget those nessecities!! I'll try to work on those tickets.. yeechh!! Or maybe you should, Musz.. Oh well.. pray hard that all of us could make it.. at least I would! Huuu

2nd P : What I Feel {DEC 15}

Holiday Break
So anyways.. going back home in a bit..
Nothing much planned out really... I mean, I don't know.. I suppose there's nothing much to do when I get home.
But I am planning to do those updates I promised.. Heehee! So you MIGHT see some changes to my site as the third trimester re-opens! ^_^
Huhuu.. going to TRY to have a fun holiday.. and a rather bit educational. Kinda promised myself to learn all those applications I installed to my computer. Hehhehe!!
Reaaaaaaally have to stop getting so lazy! Hihhi...

Current song : Breathe Your Name by Sixpence None The Richer

So many days within this ways
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
The part of you
That's part of me
Will never die
Will never leave
And it's nobody else's but mine

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name

Stupidest day ever
Demm! What a day.. I didn't sleep at all last night. Went to MPH around 7:30. After I finished my Reading paper, I went out and got back to my room to get some shut eye.. (Thought I was free for at least 40 mins!) 'Coz the Writing paper would start around 10:40 or something.. and guess what?? I woke up at 11:05!!! So I got up like mad, wear my tudung as I cursed.. and ran as fast as I could towards MPH.. Gosh! I hate being late! Hahhaa~! Got to be the center of the attention for some while.. Heehee~! So yeah, I was late for about 30 minutes. Good thing the people who took care of the test still let me do the test! Waaaah~! How 'lucky' can I get?? Heehee! Managed to get it done.. surprisingly!! I am very VERRRY impressed with myself! ^_^ And some bit later.. the Listening paper.. and now.. I'm FREEEEE!!!
Yeech! Now, I have to tell my mom that I'm barred from registering for the next trimester.. Sheesh!
Anyways.. I'm tired.. sleepy.. sick.. and cramped at the legs! Feels like going to fall off! Sooo... later~!!
Happy holidays peeps!

A long pause
Sorry.. got caught in a middle of something..
Been trying to find that A*Teens song For All That I Am. Heehee! Been playing their album while I was at home..
The break is pretty slow since it started (less than a week!) All I've been doing is listen to the same ole music, see that movie 10th Kingdom on ntv7 and play The Simms. I have to say... trying to make John Mayer and Michelle Branch love each other took me whole three days!! Sheesh! Now that I know it can be done.. I'm leaving it just like that, unsaved! Hahhaa~!! I might show you peeps the pics I took in the game though (you know.. from the photo album) Heehee! Weird though.. even though the two already fond of each other.. John Mayer just can't stop himself from nagging on Michelle Branch! Mental really.. he'd automatically nag her!! Sheesh! So anyways.. if you're wondering why is it John Mayer and Michelle Branch.. Heehee! Never mind! ^_^
Anyways.. going a bit crazy for Winamp skins! Hahhaaa~!! Other than spending my whole day searching for that A*Teens' song, I also searched for loads of those skins.. Yeeheehee!!
Okie.. well.. I should get back to that long loooong movie - 10th Kingdom (today's it's last episode!) and then some rest. Having some signs of a flu..
Everybody.. GET WELL!!!

Back in MMU
Huu.. why should there be MUET?! Gosh! And it's going to be so early in the morning!! Well.. not that I am into anything much at home.. Just that.. I don't know.. I want to break-fast at hooommmee!! Huwaaaa!!
Honestly.. nothing much has happened since the last I posted. Well.. Friday was nice.. Dida shocked the whole family when she showed up at the front door from Terengganu! Odd really.. I didn't really miss her when she's gone.. but when she's around.. I feel WHOLE! Hihhihi..! Honestly! That's how I feel!

Heart-ache
The clouds must be falling on me.. Ever felt so hurt that you just can't breathe? Well.. I'm feeling that way right now. Feeling so cold.. and my heart-aches badly. Even after I told myself that everything will turn out okay.. Will it?
Gosh! I cried for real for the first time in MMU last night. Boy, I feel so stupid.. so helpless.. so hopelesly devoted. I hate the fact that I cared as much as I do.. The fact that I need to know that a certain someone will be always there for me when I'm in need. Guess I'm bad at appreciating people, huh? Once... twice.. and I'm doing it all over again..
I guess the English paper just now wasn't so so so so hard.. But I really can't think right. I just seemed to be staring through the words.. or the words just seemed dead blurry to me. I know I wasted most of my time telling myself to concentrate. Really don't know how I'll score on it. I may get reaaaaaaaally bad results from it. I'm depending on luck right now.
Oh well.. A day of stupidity for me.. Maybe I'll get stupid all over again tomorrow.. And the day after.. and the day after that.. It may even turn out to be a stupid year for me..
Told you I won't be good for anybody..

Current song : I Don't Give A Damn by Avril Lavigne
~ I don't give a damn what you say about that.. You know I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy ~
~* but I do give a damn and he's not at all stupid *~

What's there to love about myself?
Yeah.. I sucked loaaads!!
Crappy crappy mood. Going to sleep in a bit.. somehow I wish I'd wake up to find myself somewhere else than this place.
Crappy crappy feeling. Went out for break-fast with Ana and Alitt.. supposedly with Sheeya, BJ and Mya but they were at En. Anis' place and they got there a bit late.
Crappy crappy night. Forced to do some things that I try to avoid. Forced to stay out for sOoOooOo long when all I wanted to do was totally the opposite.
Can't remember how many times I chanted that I wanna go back.
Can't remember how many times I speak of that certain name.
Can't remember of the times I imagined the happier things I could do at that same moment.
Can't remember how many times I wished I just went back.
Can't remember of the times I hoped that I'm talking to a certain someone..
And now that I'm back.. I'm still chanting that same name over and over again.. and say how horrible I felt.. and still feel.. Wanting so much to say how much I missed out this night. Wishing so much that I could say how much I rather be with him while I'm out..
But before he gave me any chance.. what did he do??
He blew me off.............. no explaination is required, huh?

Crying inside.. Obviously you can't see that... or maybe you just refuse to..

Going dizzy
Very verrrry dizzy... Graphics was HARD!! As rock! Very disappointing. Well.. not really. I mean, I realize how little I studied for it. So.. yeah.. I get what I deserved. Silly me~
So anyways.. had a pretty long night last night. Very tiring!! Kinda forced to go out for sahur 'coz I was sooo hungry. Actually I had chose to stay back, 'coz I was tired and I do need to read some things of Graphics but Ana and BJ kept on pressing me. Huhuuu.. So we went out.. with those senior friends.
So tired~~ Even fell asleep while in the car. Good thing Ana was with me. (BJ was in the other car..)
So tired~~ I can't remember when was the last time I felt the need of a good sleep as much as this..
Later~!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA~!!

Hahhaa~~ gosh it's hard to focus..
when your mind is wandering off at some things. Like.. what was the two words you said in the afternoon.. and how impatient I am for Saturdaayyy!!! Weeeee!! I really really reaaaaally want to see Harry Potter! AaaAaAaa!!
Going to have my Graphics test later todayy.. Humm.. really should get some things into my head..
Eeeekk!! Why do I feel like I'm going a bit selfish huh??! I HATE!! Gosh!! I hate the way I feel nowadays! Really can't stop thinking about me.. me.. MEEE these days and it suxX!! 'Coz at these times.. I need to think about other people's feelings too!! Huwaaa!! Sorry sorry sorryyyy!! I'm so so sorry!! I'm.. really reaaally trying to cope with these obvious changes. Huhuuu.. Sorryyy...! Really don't know why I feel so guilty.
Pretty weird day.. Afternoon was neat! Hanging out with the two people I most care in MMU.. ^_^ But the night just seemed a bit *BIT* crappy.. until just now! I suddenly remembered that I have that cards! So we (me, Ana and BJ) played those predicting games.. Ehhehe! BJ's obviously not ready for any sort of commitment! Huuu.. my voice is a bit strained from cheering for Ana and my own 'results'.. AHHAHAAA!! So prasan of BJ 'coz she got perfect 'results' when she did her prediction with FREDDIE PRINZE JR.!!! Ahhahhahaaa~~!! (Yeah.. most gurls gets pretty dreamy of Freddie..) ^_^
Haiyyoo.. hope I'll manage to cope with my Graphics after this.. CRAP! I'm tired.. hungry.. and half-dumb for my Graphics!!
I'll manage...... I know I will!

Selfish for my feelings.. 'coz I've had enough people worrying about me. I refuse to run!

It's not really THAT important
If someone says to you that similarities are CRUCIAL in a relationship.. don't go nod your head and agrees! 'Coz I think that is all CRAP!
Seriously! What good is it if you have sooooo many things in common with your partner? When is it time will you learn something new? I mean, if he/she told you about something.. you know what's it about. When he/she talked to you about something, you truly understands and agrees with 'em.. Yeah.. MAYBE it's sweet to have someone who is just like you.. awww.. but really.. don't you think that's almost the same as having YOURSELF as a partner???? Hahhahahaa~ Silly silly..
Differences aren't all-bad, so don't fret! ^_^
Aaaahh~~ Raining again over here in MMU. Really reaaally hard! Haven't had my sleep since sahur this morning. It's getting cold around here but still.. I don't feel like a fever's coming!! Urghh!! Oh well.. better get my sleep.. Well, rest if it's possible. Mya and BJ's over here.. and they're NOT fasting!!!! How frustrating can that be?
Later~~

Oh! I must be losing my mind.. somehow

Where You Lead

Wanting you the way I do
I only want to be with you
And I would go to the ends of the earth
Cause, darling, to me that's you're worth

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely, and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

Carole King

My days
I guess it was pretty okay. Supposedly went to see Harry Potter on Saturday with some friends but come to think about it.. it was the third Saturday and we're planing to go to Mid-Valley! Huuu.. I've had enough of Mid-Valley on holidays.. Yeech!! So *demm* busy!! But since I hate to stay home when I already said that I won't.. I worked something out with Musz.. we went to The Mall to look around and even had our break-fast there. Only got home at half past nine. Huuhuu.. I was soo sleepy in that train! My thoughts keep on wandering off. Silly me. When we got back, my dad kept asking what we did there. In six hours, we practically spent three hours walking around the mall. Huuu! I was amazed myself.. And while we had our dinner, me and Musz talked about plenty of stuff! Wee! Kewl! Haven't been talking about those sort of things for so long.. ^_^
Sunday was absolutely boring! I slept most of the day.. absolutely ignoring my final work. Memang malas nak mampos buat.. I started the work when I got back in MMU.. and that's midnight! Selambekan saja badakk! Well.. I guess nothing much was special this weekend. But I was pretty happy! ^_^ Everyone in the house seemed to be smiling a lot. And even though I wasn't fasting, there's always food around! Mama even cook for me!! Oh so happy~! Got to eat loads of roti jala (that Papa made!) and tauhu-fa!! Weeeeeee!! Aaaah!! SUKA NYERR!! I miss home already.. 'coz this day is kinda crappy! Bluekk!! Oh so sucky~! Ahhaa!! Recieved a phone call from an ole friend. Lamaaanyeeee tak denga citer! It was nice hearing back from him.. Welcome back! Beshnyer laa gi umrah ekk.. Huuu
Eyyh JASMIN!! Datanglaa this weekend. Bole bawak Nina gi tengok wayang.. bawak Wanie sekaliii!! Hihhihik! Bila orang takmo dia datang, dia datang. Bila orang nak dia datang, takleh nak datang lak! GrrRrRrR!!
I need my time off. I don't know what I feel right now.. but something bad is building up inside me.

Why should I say sorry when I did nothing wrong?

I wonder if it's mine or someone else's..
FAULT!
Urrghh!! I seem to keep pondering if I should lie.. and lie and lie.. to make the people I care about, happy. Should I? Should I? Gosh, truth suxX! All I'm trying to do is to be honest.. and set things straight. Is it possible to make a person happy when you're not? AaaAaaaaAaA!! I HATE!!
Now, I don't know why I'm talking about this.. All I know.. is that you should BUZZ OFF from my face around this time. I feel *bitchy* somehow..

Yeah.. wait 'til you see my other side.

Should there be any reason?
Huhhuu.. long.. long time since I had my last post. Well, not that I was so busy to type one.. but I guess I have nothing much to say. But heyy.. supposedly my website will be updated by this Thursday. What's that? November 21st.. since I'm thinking of going back home on that same day. (Have some plans for Friday and Saturday ^_^ ) Aaanyways, went out with dear Musz last Saturday. Got into some neat conversation about feelings so I HAVE to share this one. Hehheh.. so please don't take this as 'every girls' point of view'.. 'Coz this is just mine, and a bit of Musz'.. Didn't go around interviewing my gurl friends on this one.. just mine! Okie?

Now, if you ever wondered to yourself.. "why do I like that certain person?", but you just can't find that one point that you like about 'em, don't fret. It doesn't mean that you don't like 'em for real.. but it means that you may like 'em so much.. you can't point at just one! That you may like every single thing about 'em that it's hard to say even one because it's a feeling inside you. Deep down, you just feel so attached to this person, that there's no reason behind the feelings you have. That's called chemistry, my dear. No explaination for that. (perhaps fate!)
Don't force yourself to find that ONE point, because to find it, you would require to JUDGE the person. When you start judging, loads of things could come up. 'Can't she dress properly?' - 'Will he ever be this childish?' - 'He can't even say R the right way!' - 'She has bad breath'. Hihhihik! Now.. when you start judging, you'd start to see the bad side of that person. And believe me that it'll make you blind to see those good side of 'em again. Hahhaha!! Honestly, I don't really know if it's true but it IS better not to judge the person you like.. or err.. love.. Take 'em as they are..! Yeah, you can state what you don't feel right about 'em once in a while.. but don't too often please! They'll get bored.. ^_^ Well, if you can find so many 'wrong' things in your partner, that must've mean something.. right?

Oh well.. I'd probably tell you peeps about the rest of my weekend later. I am soooo tired!! Been staying up the whole night to get my final Fundamental work done. Huhhuu.. Reaaaaaaally gotta stop these last minute works! Yeech!

You know you're in love when you wait for 'em to call..

Breathe Your Name

It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same
It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same

Is it all inside my head
Is it all inside my head
I view the my lips
And take my pick
I view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine

But you are in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And I lose my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

So many days within this ways
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
The part of you
That's part of me
We'll never die
We'll never leave
And it's nobody else's but mine

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

You'll view their lips
And take your pick
You'll view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours

Your in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name

'Cause your in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name

Sixpence None The Richer

Who would have thought..
that I can be as homely as I am right now? Hahhaha!! All I wanna do these days is stay at home and hang around, watch the TV.. messaging my friends.. talking to my sis and dad.. (pardon me, but I don't do 'chit-chat' with my mom) Getting back home last week was not really a pretty sight. I thought my dad seemd a bit sick somehow. And no one spoke anything much in the car. (Probably 'coz everyone's hungry form the fasting) But when we get home.. I felt so relieved to see my dad smile.. Hihhik! And after break-fast, we all started talking about stuff! Hihhihik!
Been trying to use that chalk pastel. Kinda fun, considering that it's kinda like using charcoal (and I had loaaads of fun using that!!)
Having a bit of a head pain right now, so pardon me for leaving out most of the vital points I wanted to share with you guys.. O heck! I need to lie down..
Later~

Yeech!

Who would have believed?
The English test was kinda funn!! I mean, me and the girls had fun taking pictures as we walked to the MPH!
Hihhihi.. there's even this reaaaaaaaally neat video I took! Aaaahh!! I reaaaaaaally love taking photos!! Hihhihik! FUN FUN FUNNNN!!
The test was... humm... confusing! And crappy a bit. But I'll manage.. I don't think I'd fail.. just.. crappy marks!
Ok ok.. gotta runn!! Going back home in a bit.. Weeeeeeeeeee~!!!

At times like this, I wouldn't even care if I'm really falling.. Hihhik!

It doesn't hurt to be alone once in a while..
Just got back from what supposedly be a 'consultation' for English. I don't know why.. but going to, and back from English class on Fridays seems pretty good for my head, somehow. Mostly because I'd usually walk my troubles off.. and since I have class in the morning.. There wasn't many people around. So I don't have to look at people's faces (in case I should say 'hi' to them) or look cheery when I'm not. I can just.. be what I am feeling at the precise moment. I can let my head wander off to think about the things I have in mind.. and I can frown without anyone giving a damn why.. Kinda hurts to be what you don't feel.. Yeahh, I admit that I acted happy some times. 'Coz sometimes it's either their (the people around me) problems or troubles seemed bigger than mine or they just needs my attention. And I don't go around 'seeking' for attention or 'begging' to be heard.. or maybe I just prefer myself to keep my heart and mind. = Listen to me if you want, if not.. don't bother! And don't force me to say it.. 'coz I'll tell if I feel I should =
Aaaaahh! Good morning.. to be able to walk alone back from hanging around outside Ms Zaiha's room... ~ Ash : Don't you know it's alright to be alone.. you can make it on your own ~ Eh ehh.. don't worry peeps! I won't leave any of you guys alone.. Hehhe.. Nope, I won't do that.. I was merely stating that it's okay if any of you need to leave me alone.. I can manage.. I know I can.. Or I won't be like I am right now.. a minor cold-hearted b*tch. Hahhahaa!! No no nooo.. I'm not a b*tch.. But I can be a bit cold-hearted person sometimes. I wonder though.. is it because I'm such a spoiled brat, who needs just as much attention as everyone else but I had to give in too much?? Humm.. eventually I'll explode.. I'm kinda waiting for that moment. Just wanna see who's going to trigger it. Will it be myself?.. or someone else?
Waaaaaaaahh~!!! Now I'm feeling even more crappier!! Papaaaa!! Don't tell me I have to break-fast over here agaaain!! Huwaaaaaaa~!!!! I HATE!!

Current song : I Can't Catch You by Sixpence None The Richer
~ If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself. What's there to love about myself? ~
Mid-way to shedding this unwanted tears..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
What's up with meee??!! I was like really reaaaally hyper earlier tonight..
After that chicken (hehhe) I was like.. making silly jokes with Ana.. and we replied each other's Y! M status messages along with Fariz.. It was fun.. Ehehhe..
But noww..
I just don't know why but my head just feels so..................................... MESSY!! Sooo............. CRAMPED!!
Why? Why? WHYYY???!!!!
This suxX!!

I HATE!!

I Can't Catch You

I guess you could say I'm a little afraid
What if you go away? I've seen it before,
I've been here before.
If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself.
What's there to love about myself?
I just wan't to see that as a person you want me.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.

I guess I would say that I want you to stay
'Cause you have this strange knack,
Adds a glow to my black as you chase it all away.
And I hope that you can see I will someday leave these things.
I am waiting to be free.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.
Oh, I want to catch you.

Sixpence None The Richer

Wondering as I wandered..
Yaaah~! Just got back from that Cybervaganza bazaar over the surau! Hihhihi!! Not really THAT fun but I guess it was okay.. lightens up my mood a bit.. The feeling for break-fast was there.. seeing all those people buying food for their break-fast! Hihhi.. Though.. me, Ana and Majin kept on wandering around.. with no idea what to buy.. Saw loads of people around there.. Even Che Mat.. that Beta lecturer was there! Hihhihi.. And Juvita was there as well.. so I said.. 'tak pose pon ade gak kat sini!' Hihhihi!!
~ pause ~
Hihhihi.. break-fast!! The ayam percik was soo soooooo nice!! Hihhihi!! Now I really feel happy for break-fast! ^_^
Oh yeahh.. hihhihi! Forgot about the part when we decided on what should we buy.. Hehhe.. So we were wandering around.. meeting up our friends.. and finally deciding on AYAM PERCIK!! Which I totally regret.. the fact.. that I just bought one!! Hahahhah!! It was seriously nice!!
Can't wait 'til tomorrow! Going back home.. able to eat with Papa, Mama and Nina.. can even ask Papa to get AYAM PERCIK!! Ahahhahha!! Sorry.. going totally crazy over that.. Hihhihi!! I totally.. absolutely.. appreciate the chicken!! Yummy..!! Weeeeeeeeee!!! So tomorrow morning I'll be having my English 'til eleven (supposedly) and at 2:30 there'll be that writing test in MPH.. and then I can go back!! Yeaaayy~!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee~!!

Current song : I'd Rather Be In Love by Michelle Branch
~ Without you.. I'm alone.. And I'd rather be in love with you ~

Sleepy still.. wondering still.. haiyya.. wish I could just shout it out!
I didn't consult with Mr John!!! Huuuu!! What a waste.. But heck! I've never missed Fundamental classes before.. one measly attendance doesn't mean much to me.. yet! Hihhihihi! Just hung around the class just now.. Talked with the girls.. and then En Halim did talked to us about the trip in 3rd trimester! Weeeeee!! Trips always excites me! Hihhihik!
So what about today? Well... mostly I just slept.. So you can just say that today is just horribly boring for me! Yeech!!
Fasting seems sooooooooo sad somehow.. Away from home and all.. Break-fast doesn't seem so appealing over here... +_+

Current song : Your Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer
~ I'll use my hands ~
What th-?!!! Yikes!!

Tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how I feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just do

Gimme a lil time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

I don't know how i feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And I know I'm not ready,
Maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change

Avril Lavigne

If only I am more rational than emotional..
Then I'd be someone else! ~ John Mayer : Would you want me when I'm not myself? ~ Just realize how emotional I can get.. it suxX, really!! Not being able to listen to my brains when I'm hurt.. or getting even more sensitive when anyone suggested that you should think it through.. humm.. I HATE!! But honestly.. if I AM more rational than emotional like I am right now.. I'd be so soo different! I mean, I'd be less rebellious.. I'd be more patient.. I'd be less self-centered.. AHHAHAH!! Gosh! Better change my name as well while I'm at that..! ^_^
I don't know.. being rational seems like a good idea.. I could think first before reacting.. Huuu.. hard.. hard..

Could I be falling?

Spinning.. and it won't stop
Sleepy!! But I haven't completed my Fundamental work!! Urghh!! I hate too much work! And mostly I hate the fact that I'm sleepy already! Sheesh!
Soo.. what's up today? Nothing much really.. Went for Graphics lecture at eleven with Ana, Fina and Mya. Gosh! The crap we talked about.. ridiculous! Then.. walked halfway back with Fariz.. parted 'coz me and the girls wanted to go for brunch at the FCM Cafe while he and his friends were going to get mounting boards for our assignments. Hihhihi.. *~ neat coincidence over the stairs, huh? Hihhihik ~* Huu.. hung out there 'til around two 'coz we waited until BJ needs to go to her English class..
Oh yeahh.. managed to bumped into Kak Yan and Abang Adi, who showed us some Beta works! Seriously kewl.. but VERY complicated!! They need to create their own fonts but they had to show some studies of their work.. Err... kinda hard to explain over here.. But it's TOTALLY kewl!! VERY VERRRYYYY!!
Then.. what did I do? Owhh.. lay around in bed some while.. then.. sit around as me and BJ watched Azura ate her late lunch.. while.. we were discussing over plenty of stuff..! Then.. Huhuuu.. some while later.. watched Mya and BJ cut Azilah's hair.. Waaaah~! Great great work from the girls..!! Very impressed, indeed! And then... we (me, Ana, BJ, Azura and Mya) went to HB1 and got dinner.. Huuu.. hung out there for such a looooong time..! Even until the guys came back from terawih!! Hung out a while with Mail (Azura's friend).. Alitt and his friend.. what's his name?? And.. yeahh!! Fariz, Dar and Azarul as well!! Hihhihi.. Though.. I was left alone at that point.. Huuu!
So anyways.. my finals are going to be on November 20th and 21st! Huu.. Mama's birthday! And the next week we're supposed to have our MUET test againn.. Yikes~! Hihihihi!! Can't wait to get it over with! ^_^

Current song : Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne
~ what use is it to you, what's on my mind? ~

Huuu
Yah yahh~!! Gotta do my Fundamental but I'm pretty sleepy right now! Huu! So I think I'll get a bit of a nap first..
Get back to you later~!

Crappy mid-night
Huuu.. got lectured by Fariz.. AGAAIINNNN!! Crap!! And Rai didn't make it any better!! Sheesh! What a friend..! Blueekk!
AHHAHA!! Good thing I have Ana as my roomie!
We've been listening and aweing to Boxcar Racer's songs.. Hihhih!! They're fun to listen to.. Kan Ana kaannn?! Hihhhi..


Feeling better now.. so... we're kewl!

What a weekend..
FRIDAY
Nothing much! Got back around twelve and just what did I do? Can't really remember! But I do remember sleeping for the most of the day!! Just woke up to eat and watch TV! Sheesh! Charmed is getting a bit confusing these days and Survivor? Urrgh!! With the way it is right now.. I'm unable to be fond of any of them.. not even a bit!
SATURDAY
Woke up around 9.. That's my usual wake-up time at home. I don't know... probably 'coz I'm used to wake up pretty early in MMU. Humm.. Got up.. watched telly.. all those CARTOONS!! Hihhihi.. (Getting crazy over Sakura-chan again! Yikes~!) Only managed to get my bath around 12 'coz the cartoons around that time doesn't appeal to me. Hihhihi.. Then, stayed in front of the telly again. Saw Fariz on Remaja. Hihhihi! Just 5 mins for that 'Kaki Bangku' slot.. Funny funny funny.. Not telling you guys why! Bluekk! So anyways, I kinda lost track of time.. I should be out at 1:30 to meet Musz! Good thing for Alexander Graham Bell's invention.. I managed to tell Musz to wait a bit. Hihihi.. So we went to McD's.. as always.. hung out there for two hours.. eating and munching soo slow.. if possible, even slower than snails! Managed to get some stuff for my assignment on the way back.. And when I got home.. Humm.. I napped!
All I did for the rest of the afternoon was semi-begging my dad to see the Malaysia Cup finals between Selangor and Sabah. But I suck at semi-begging! So.. that night.. we watched TV. But for me.. I watched the telly as I did some of my Fundamental assignment! Huuu.. while my dad shout around AS IF he's in the stadium! DUHH!! They can't hear you, Papa!! And Jasmin was around too.. He joked about Penang went for the finals as well.. So we were like, "Huhh??" and he pointed out that the referee was from Penang!! Chihh! Stupid joke! Anyways.. gotta say that watching the ball from telly was pretty much amusing! I mean, me, Papa and Nina had loaaddss of fun.. making fun of the commentators! AHHAHAH~! Stupid stupid guys... why can't RTM find any better people to comment on the game? Oh yeah.. Like I said.. Papa shouted some stuff while watching the game.. I managed to write some of it down to share here.. Hihhi.. One of 'em was.. "Bagi aku main lah!!... (a bit of a pause) nasib baik aku tua" Hihhihihi!!! Me and Nina was laughing hard back then!! And the one who puts the goal in.. Amri Yahyah.. well.. honestly I think he had loaaddss of chances to score (but only managed to get it done in the sudden-death extra time) and since he kept on missing to score.. my dad actually shouted "tinggalkan kaki kat rumah la!" Ihhihihihi!! We wouldn't get that golden goal if he did, now.. would we? Hihhihi.. >song mode!< Kecemerlangan.. kecemerlangan.. kecemerlangan jadi kenyataan.. AHAHAHHA!! Gosh, I miss the atmosphere in the stadium! And honestly.. I can't imagine going to a game without my dad.. Waaah~! I love my kewl parents!! Strict, yess.. but kewl!! I can even talk about my boyfriend if I like!! AHHAHAHA~! Gosh.. they've been asking questions now that Nina have spilled it out..! *~ Fariz, scared yet? Hihhihi..! ~* Lalalalalaa.. kewl kewl parents I have.. Tralallalala.. no matter how they could infuriate me.. I still care for them and I do think they're kewl! Yeah yeahh~!
SUNDAY
Boring boring... went back to kampung for some while.. Then me and Nina offended Papa in a way.. sheesh! And we went back home.. he dissed some things at us.. Haiyaaa.. takpe.. takpe.. sayang nyer pasal.. sabo je ler.. takpe.. shaddap je laa.. So anyways.. kept quiet with my dad for the rest of the day.. Boring boring.. Sunday was such a boring day! Except for telly at the night! Hihhihi.. I missed CSI and Gilmore Girls sooooooooo much!! Feels good to be able to watch 'em again! ^_^
MONDAY
Still with the silent treatment with my dad.. Deepavali.. boring.. boring..!! All channels became Tamil channels instead!! So my mom put on some Hindi movies instead.. which were equally BORING!! But I have to say.. stupid women and men with huge ego and jealousy are such a horrible match!! 'Coz one of the CDs was about this misunderstanding between this married couple that never ends!! 'Coz the guy was just too ego to tell the wife that he's jealous that the wife is sooo close to her guy best friend and the wife was just sooo dumb to even notice how her hubby felt!! Dumb a$$es!
So anyways.. now I'm back in MMU.. honestly, I thought of returning tomorrow morning.. but thinking that I'm in a silent treatment with my dad.. I fear that it could get worse if I stay longer at home.. Huhhu.. BUT! When they all sent me here.. my dad still hugged me and kissed me and.. he said "I still love you.." Waaaaaaahh~!!! (he'd usually say 'I love you' everytime he sends me someplace. Well, it's usually goes from kisses on both cheeks.. a long hug as he said 'study.. jangan memain je.. take care.. love you..' Hihhihihi..) This sort of things that makes me hate myself when I get angry with him! Urrghh! And the sort of things that makes me miss the hugs from my dad!! Huwaaaaa!! Nak balek balekk!! Kan dah..! Tak sempat nak peluk puas-puas mase weekend!! Bodo btol gado-gado nih!
So.. okielaa!! Nothing much to say now.. I think I've said loaaddss already! Now it's the time for me to enjoy the apple juice me and Ana bought some minutes ago.. Later~!

Pakcik ni pon satu.. bila orang balek, dia kuar lak! Nak tido lah camni!! Bosan nyer pasal..

NO UPDATE
Hihhihihi... NO UPDATE what so ever.. This morning is just like any other ordinary morning.. I have nothing to say except..
HAPPY DEEPAVALI ANA!! Kat umah ade maruku ekk?!
The week has come to an end.. We have the Monday off.. So I wonder what am I going to do through out the weekend and the extra day.. Huuu...
OK! Tu jek nak tulis. Tak tau nak tulis ape lagik!
Later~

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~!! Blank maa!

Owww.. I hit my head too hard..
Yeech! Stupid MSN!! I was so surprised with MSN messenger's stupidity just now that I over-hit my forehead. It hurts! Stupid stupid MSN!!
I don't know why but tonight seems a bit slow somehow. Probably 'coz the boredom I'm having and the fact that I'm feeling a bit sick right now. I don't know.. My chest still aches a bit (from this afternoon.. hihhi~ silly!) and my throat sores as well. Called home earlier this night. Somehow home sounds different. Not sure how it get that way.. but it just sound.. quiter. And somehow.. I seem to miss home! AHHAHAH~! Well.. Papa sounded sick when I talked to him. It doesn't relieve me in any way.. Huu..! Wanna go home~~!! I wish I could just go back this night but I still have English tomorrow. Oh why~??! Man, something must be very wrong with me.. for I am missing home so much these days.
So what did I do tonight? Humm.. other than calling.. messaging and receiving phone calls.. Honestly.. nothing much!! Huwaaaaa!! What a boring night. Yeahh.. I do think it's such a boring night.. but I have no other way than to accept it. Huhhu.. Nowhere to run lahh!
Okayy.. I refuse to type in anything more.. I better do something more productive.. Fundamentaalll!! Huwaarrgghh!! Or maybe.. re-read my Harry Potter number four!! AHHAHAHA~! O My God.. ROWLING!! Where's the fifth book??! Lahaaiiii!! Hihhi.. Cam dia bace jek blog nih! Poyo!

Can't wait to get home tomorrow!!!

Not Myself

Suppose I said
I am on my best behavior
And there are times
I lose my worried mind

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
And words will go
From poetry to prose

Would you want me when I'm not myself?
Wait it out while I am someone else?

And I, in time, will come around
I always do for you

Suppose I said
You're my saving grace?

John Mayer

AHHAHAHA!! Ana has gone crazy!! Heeellllpppp!!
Huwaaaaaaaa!! My chest aches.. Ana have been making stupid stupid jokes with her MSN status.. Really can't stand it!! AHAHHAHA~! Laughed so hard just now.. can't remember when was the last time I laughed as hard as just now.. Ouch!! Semput.. semput.. ANA MERBAHAYE!!
Yeayy~! So relieved that I've submitted my Graphics assignment just now.. Though.. me and Ana spent some minutes outside this one room (which I thought was my tutor's room.. but it wasn't!!) Good thing we just kinda hung around a bit and this girl from my same tutorial passed by. Hihhihi!! Good thing I didn't just slid my CD in between the first door! ^_^ AHHAHAH!! Silly daayyy..
Just slept for three measly hours. Huuu.. Kept changing from doing my Fundamental to doing my Graphics. Though, I have to say that I'm pretty proud of how it turned out! I mean.. my drawings and coloring for Fundamental last night (and this morning) was not bad at all.. and the poster for my graphics was pretty neat! Hihhhi.. I laughed at it everytime I see it. It's called.. The Lord Of The Drink : The Fellowship Of The Coke Hihihik~! I'll put it up on my site along with my friends' works by the end of this trimester.. (hopefully!)
Hihhhihi.. stupid enough.. I didn't really dedicate my whole time on my assignments.. Hihhi.. 'Coz I spent some time browsing around for some information on John Mayer. I have to say.. that I'm quite surprised with him! I mean.. he's just 24!! He sounded older than that! Anyways.. I'm like.. into him these days.. And it all started since I heard him on the radio with No Such Thing. Gosh! Guitars is just cool!!!!! Eh.. kewll!!! Hihhihik! And further more.. Last night.. I found a site with all his guitar tabs!! Waaaah~!!! Hihhihik.. Kewl indeed! So excited about John Mayer these days.. My my.. Wanie.. get a grip!!!!

Cepatla abes download sumer lagu nihh! Tak saba nak dengaaaa!!

I was right!!
See see!! I did fell asleep just now! Huu.. dozed off for three hours. Woke up at three.. somehow. Good thing I managed to get up by myself.. Huu..
Woke up at three.. called out to Ana (who was also asleep) 'coz she haven't finish her work as well.. And we just finished our Maggis! AHHAHA~! Honestly starving!! Huu.. Eyh Ana.. Maggi Fina tak tu.. kot? Hihhi.. Ingat kena ganti balek tau! Hihhik!
Yeeps! Still loads of works to do!!!

@_@

WORK~~
I really need to get them done!! Huwaaaaaa!! I'm stuck with my Graphics so I'm going to do my Fundamental for now.. But.. with the pace I'm going.. Huuu.. I might be falling asleep while I'm at it.. Yaaah~~! So tired!!! Can't understand how I get this tired! Huuuu...!
I'm hoping that I won't be falling asleep.. not now at least!!
Anyways.. to whom ever who reads this blog.. if you've been trying to message me through Y! M or MSN and I won't answer.. Huu.. There's a VERY big possibilty I've fallen to sleep. Yikes~!

+_+

Love Song For No One

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Get here..

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

John Mayer

Such a sloowww day... and a tiring one, too!
Huarrghh!! So so soooooooo demm tired!! I feel sick! Feel so cold! The wind is blowing outside, sending me the chills! Huwaaaa!! I won't be surprised if I catch a cold by tomorrow.. Huu..
Slept around six last night.. Woke up again at nine.. got my shower and back to sleep again after a single sweet.. Awoke again at twelve something, with nothing much to do. Wanted to start my Graphics so badly.. but.. SERVER WAS DOWN!! Gosh!! So crappy... So anyways.. went to Fundamental with Juvita and Tisha.. send in my Color Scheme.. WITHOUT THE THUMBNAILS!! Yikes~! Gotta do something about that, I guess.. Huuu!! Demm color shceme.. It was such a lot of work!! Urrghh!! Spent the whole night doing it! Good thing I got the chance to cover back the sleep I need. (Though.. honestly, 5 hours is not enough!!) Huwaaaaa!! TIRED~!
Just hung around awhile in Fundamental.. talking to my friends.. and Fariz (DUH!) as usual.. then.. the gurls came by and told me 'bout some stuff they did with En. Anis (one of the lecturers). It so happens that the 'gedik' video have been the talk-of-the-town in Melaka campus. Huumm.. amusing, indeed! So the gurls did some interview thingy in En. Anis' office.. with them.. and En. Anis on it. Honestly, I think it was more to 'comedy' than any 'explanotary' video clips..
Feeling so tired.. Just got back from Putrajaya to do some sketches. Amal came by and drove us there.. And I have to say.. I'm pretty proud of my work even though we spent just some while there..! Hihhihi.. Yeayy~! Can't wait to show it off.. though it's not really GREAT but.. it's much much BETTER than my stupid crayon work! ^_^
Much much work to do tonight and BJ and Sheeya is persuading me and Ana to go out for dinner. Huwaaaaaaa!! Really can't! Don't want to!! So tired!! So many work to do!! And I miss talking to my boyfriend!! Yaahh~! Hihhihihhik! One whole day with no line maa... Sadis.. sadisss.. Hihhihik~!
Okeyy.. gotta start something for my Graphics and later I have to continue on my Fundamental sketches and thumbnails!! Sheesh!
Later~

Current song : You Belong To Me by Jason Wade
~ and I'll be so alone without you, maybe you'll be lonesome too.. ~

Me and my crazy friends..
Yaahh~! Just pausing a bit from doing my Fundamental. Huuu..
Such a lazy daaayyy.. Went to Graphics in the morning.. listen to Neo talking about Serif and Sans Serif.. while I doodled on some stuff in my pretty-new Pooh notebook. Hehhehe.. and since I was fasting.. Huu.. made no such stops along the walk back from the lecture hall with Ana and Fariz. Got back into my room.. and watched the original version of The Ring. I have to say.. the English' version is spookier but the ghost of the Japanese one is absolutely HORRIFYING!! So then.. I slept for four hours in the afternoon.. Waking up only to find myself in front of the pc chatting with dear Fariz.. Hihhih.. while I traced my Fundamental work! ^_^ (See see!! I didn't forget to do my work!! Hihhihik!)
So.. seven p.m. Sheeya drove her Kembara (her parents finally decided that they HAD to change the Punto's wind-shield for that crack..) to Putrajaya.. Waaah~! Nice dinner with Sheeya, Ana, Fina, BJ and Azura. The way back was a bit crazy.. Azura fooled around with the radio.. pretending that she was RTM's deejay.. messing around with the songs played.. And the windows are all down.. Soooooo cold!! And practically, we have to shout to let others hear us. Hihhihi! And there's this one time Azura asked around what was on our mind at that moment.. Sheeya and BJ said 'minyak' (for the car), Ana said 'angin' ('coz the wind was blowing hard) and Fina said 'Amal' (her boyfriend, DUH!). And it's pretty silly since it concludes to 'Minyak Angin Amal'. Huu.. Bile mase Amal kluarkan produk?? Hihhihik~! Humm.. Fina seemed hard to believe 'bout what was on my mind at that time.. OH MENGAPAA~? Hihhihik! Sekali sekalaa.. ^_^
And now.. we're back in our rooms.. stuck with our assignments.. Good thing I'd only have to send in my Graphics assignment on Thursday! Yeaahh~! And there's no more tutorial!! Yeahh~! I'm free tomorrow morning! Yeahh~! Oh heck! I need to get back to my Fundamental right about now.. Hihhi.. later~! (if I feel like saying something)

Lucky me.. lucky you..

Tuesday Morn
Huaaarrghhh!! I am feeling extreeeeeeemely lazy!
Get back to you later~!

Vavi laa vavi!!! Tau ape vavi tu? Vavi laa!!
Vaviiiiiiii!! Memang dasar vavi lagi demm yang beribu kali lahh!! Huwaaaa!! Vavi vavi vavi!! Ikut ati sumer pon kuar!! Siaallaaaannnnn!!
I've typed down such loads of things just now.. How I feel about the things that's been happening about (around) me.. and when I clicked at post.. it disappeared!! Urrghh!! I AM SO DEMM FRUSTRATED!! Arrrrghhhh!!!!!!! *toot toot toot toot!!* (Gotta keep it down so my boyfriend wouldn't know how far I can really get.. Hihhihik~!)
I AM SO SO SO SOOOOO ANGRY!! Demm blogger.. Demm MMU!! The reason for why I am so angry with EVERYTHING!
Huuu.. it's about that second 'gedik' videoo.. I really hate the guy who spread the video around! I don't need to know him to hate him!! He suxX real bad!! He should really get hit by a cow or something! Even better, fell into the cow's dung as well! I wish one day he woke up in the morning with everyone in the world dissing him for his stupidity and his immatureness! I wish he'd suffer for ruining my friends' normal days! For everytime my friends gets dissed, I wish he'd get bitten my ten mosquitoes. For everytime my friends feel sad for what had happened, I wish he'd fell off from wherever he's standing. Urgghh!! I can really get farther than this.. but fuuhh.. gotta keep it down.. Huu..!
This time, all my friends are on it. I am.. partly in it to be honest. But 'protected' in a way.. if you don't look at it carefully. 'Coz I watched it plenty of times and I saw something that not everyone should see! *Demm!* Azura was behind the cam again.. So there were Ana, Mya, Fina, Sheeya and BJ on the "new" video. This just suxX!! I HATE!!! I hate the fact that I can't do anything much to make them feel better.
Just imagine.. when they started to get frustrated and sad.. I have to control my words even more carefully!! Or they might just say.. that I don't understand them.. the situation. Yeah, OF COURSE I DON'T! I'm not on it!! I'm not saying that it's harder to be in my position.. But it makes me even upset being all so helpless! I don't have the rights to say much.. 'coz it wasn't me who was in the video.. People can't see my face. But it disturbs me.. seeing my friends.. being upset.. over a supposedly-funny video! It disturbs me that I can't say anything to make my friends feel much better. It disturbs me that everything had been done and there's no way of stopping the past!! This disturbs me loaaddsss!!
Friends are simply indisposable.. and I care for my friends.. I REALLY DO CARE FOR MY FRIENDS!! THAT MUCH!!! Urgghh!! I hate that person!! He deserves ten slaps and kicks from all seven of us! Urrghhh!!! I hope that person is short and oh-so-ugly!! So I could say : Dahlaa takde keje, nak susahkan orang!! Dahla rupa huduhh..
pendekk lak tuu!!! GET A LIFE!!!! AHHAHAHAH~! (Can someone please remind me how childish I can get? Hihhihik~!)
Anyway.. that guy really suxX! And someone should really tell him that. Weeyy.. Vavi la wei.. VAVI!!

Undeniably V A V I.. Vavi is forever him..

My very first real pimple
AHHAHAH~! Can you believe it? I'm almost eighteen and I just got my real pimple.. and it's on my NOSE!! And my hands are itching to do something to it!! Yikes! AHHAHAHA~!!
Just got back to MMU.. from a superb dinner with my parents and Nina who just got back from a 'family day trip' of the company she's working with. Great weekend I had.. Huu!! So happy! ^_^ Ate steak in Bangsar.. and along with it.. a very VERY large glass of star fruit juice (which caused me to run over to the toilet when I got back to MMU) And guess what? I managed to finish it.. all by MYSELF!! Waaaah~! Large appetite eh? (I swear I didn't do anything with anyone!! AHHAHAHAH~!)
So what did I do through the weekend? Huuu.. plenty!!
Saturday Went to Pyramid with Musz.. surprisingly Papa sent me straight from home! Went around and lunch (Dave's Deli!!!!) and then round and round we go.. 'til Fariz got there.. and went some rounds again.. and then Ahmadsyah came.. Huu.. And what else did we do? Aaahh.. me and Musz watched as the guys played those archery.. Huhhu.. Legolas tak menjadi ~ OH MENGAPAA? AHHAHAH~! Then we went for a movie. HONESTLY!! I wanted so much to see Red Dragon, but I guess it was just fate.. when I said "Red Dragon" the ticket lady said - You can't see it. So I was like, "why?" - Because you should be 18.. - "I AM 18!" - Your IC? - (and I gave her my IC, and she asked her friend if people who were born on '84 is 18 already) And when all that is over.. she said there's no ticket left for four. DUHH!! Then do something to the stupid telly then!! It was showing that there's still ticket available! *Demm!* I never liked TGV anyways.. good thing Dida always brought me to GSCs instead. I won't be making TGV any richer! ^o^ So we picked a movie.. Ballistic which was so dumb! I feel so dumb having to pick that movie! God!! The only moral from that film is ~ Don't piss people off 'coz you'd never know what they might do back to you AHHAHAH~! Honestly.. all there is to be wowed over the film is the explosions.. So if you like things to explode around.. SEE THIS!! Ihhihihik~! Now.. after the movie.. we were on our way back! Stopped over in Carrefour 'coz the guys decided to get dinner before going home. Huu.. then, my parents came over to pick me up (though I didn't ask to!) and so it happens they passed Burger King where the four of us were. AHHAHAH~! So I ran to them.. before they walked towards us.. (for safety measures) AHHAHAH~! Funny thing how I reacted when they're so kewl about the details I gave them. AHHAHAH~! Even Musz laughed at me.. Hihhihihik..! So anyways.. it was bye-bye to the boys not so long after that.. Hahhaha!! Papa and Mama asked soo many questions in the car and I saw Musz giggled her way through the journey.. Huhhu.. I didn't say anything wrong did I? Well, maybe I was too direct! Huu.. Papa was a bit quiet though.. I wonder! Hihhihi.. so busy in the car! Answering questions.. persuading Mama to buy me credit.. AHHAHAH~! "Owh, selama ni abes kredit kasik SMS .... je la, bukan abes telefon Mama Papa.. kenape nak kena belikan?" - "Ahhaa.. cuba bayangkan, kalau Wanie tak call Mama Papa langsung, brape lagi kredit Wanie ade.. (evil laugh goes here)" Hihhihik!
Sunday Yeah yeahh~! Mama bought me credit! Weeee!! Even more.. my parents did all the shopping for my food stuff for this week! Not forgetting Papa helped me do the laundry.. Cayang~ cayang~ Mama Papa! Alahai bucuk~ bucuk~! God, I'm such a spoiled brat! Ihhihihik!! Really silly.. I slept most of today.. Even smiled 'stupidly sleepy' when Mama came over to see how I reacted when she reloads the phone for me. Aaaannnddd... the whole day was nothing much.. until night came along! Yeahh~!!
But now... things started to trouble me.. People starts to worry me.. and this suxX!! I HATE THIS!! Somehow my guts is telling me that this week is going to be crappy..
Oh thank you SO MUCH for giving me THISSS!!
Anyways.. this was something a friend gave to my inbox. Hehhe.. TRY! Pretty neat (is it?) Well.. just try! Personality Test! So what did I get??
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting;
someone who is constantly the center of attention, but sufficiently well balanced not to let it go to their head.
They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding;
someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Humm... kewl thing I get to be described that way.. instead of something... icky!
(Gosh.. I took such a LOT of time typing up all these!)

"ingat Wanie main kutip je ke laki memane?" AHAHHAH~!
God, I love my stupid sense of humor and my outspokenness.. THANK YOU!