I've Been Waiting

haa~ going back home for the midterm break. Tengah pikir.. nak bawak CPU balek ke aa? Cam malas pula.. but cuti seminggu!! I could get bored to death without anything good to do!! Though.. hummm.. I SHOULD get busy with the assignments! Malaaaasnyer nak start!! I need to plan things out so I won't leave anything out.. BUT I HATE PLANNING!!! huwaaaaa~!!
Eyh, tak penat ke menunggu aa? hehhehe!! Just my luck that I wasn't gifted with patience.. and I do horribly at that! So I keep blabbering out things that I probably shouldn't say. Tapi to think about it.. slalu bile menda camtu la kuar segale kebenaran kan? If you keep keeping things to yourself, and then one day it just got out.. that's the real thing la kan? Cam.. the words are faster than your rationality to hold them back longer.
Teringat kat Ablen nyer website! hehhe~ Aritu he mentioned if he's being truthfull most of the time. Without hessitation, I'm going to say that IT IS for me.. whether I like it or not! Honesty is a curse!! Takleh nak simpan.. apsal aa? And I'm such a bad liar!! My eyes always give me away.. huhuu~ I HATE!
tick tock tick tock
Tengah blaja patience ni sebenanye.. So every minute feels like an hour! Killing me softly by letting me live~
Okaaylaaaaaah rakan-rakan seperjuanganku! Kuharapkan kalian semua akan berseronok sambil belajar di waktu coti yang bakal tiba ini! Jangan dilupakan kerja yang telah diberikan oleh tenaga pengajar kita yaaa~ Mereka itu menyusahkan kita agar kita dapat berjaya di masa hadapann!~
WAHHAHAHA!! bodo punye speech! Buat sakit ati je bace balek! Oh ye.. I'll be offline for a whole week! So, encik Dar dan cik Ana, kamu berdua tulis la pape kalu kamu nak yee.. So okaaaylah!!
ENJOY THE BREAK, MMU PEEPS~!!

I know something you don't

EPPY B'DAY SHEEYA & ALITT~!!
hah!! Lagi orang yang meningkat tua!! Kite je tinggal.. muda jelita~ ekkeke!!
Anyways!! Finally got the whole blogger worked out.. weeeeeee~!!

tralalaa~

Gurls Kick A$$!!
heehee~ Me and Ana were practically out the whole day!
The day started at 10:30 am, when I realized that I OVERSLEPT (yet again..) and well, OBVIOUSLY late for my MDP which was on 9 am! huhuu~ memang bongok! Tak sudah-sudah terlewat bangun!! So.. since me and Ana already planned to go out today, takpe gak la ter tak pegi kelas tu.. dapat kuar awal! ekkeke!! So we went out around 11:30 am to catch the Cityliner.. 868? 686? AHHAHA!! I still can't get the numbers right! Paling besh kat dalam bus tuh, they TVs installed in it!! And what channel are they showing? BTV!! Which stands for Bus-TV. And what's their tagline? Umm.. I think it was "Television on the move". ekkeke!! Klakar lak rase..
So after like.. a bit more than an hour, we arrived at Central Market and we took a cab to Mid-Valley Megamall.. Actually, we didn't have much plan.. just decided to go out.. but with no real reason-laa.. huhuu~ Pukul 1:30 pm... went up to GSC.. and got ourselves tickets for Charlie's Angels : Full Throttle on 2:30!! Beshbeshbeshhh!! I think it's really neat! The fact that there were some yummy guys to look at, and the pretty funny acts by Diaz, Barrymore and Liu! ekkeke!! And Demi Moore was so cool!! Cam.. dia tua, but she looks amazingly beautiful and evil in the same time! SANGAT BESH!! And there were a bit of Bruce Willis tau at the early part of the film! heehee~ And there was also Pink in the film! GO WATCH THIS ONE!!
So lepas tuuu.. buat ape ek? Jalanjalan lagi.. and ate lasagne!! AHAHHAHA!! Tak sudah sudaaah.. Kalau kuar ngan Ana musti makan lasagne. The theory is, since we cannot get it inside MMU.. we should get it when we're outside! Kalau tak.. sia-sia laa kuar! ekkeke!! Pastu, pukul 6 pm camtu bertolak balek..
Dalam bas punye laa.. mengantuk abes!! Me and Ana were swaying around! Sungguh memalukan.. tapi cute kot? ekkeke!! Cam budak kecik.. tak tahan nak tertido..
Went to see Ana's sister in Cyberia - A2 tingkat 10.. hehhe! And walked in the cold weather towards hostel. Besh ke kuar ni ha? BESH!!! Sebab movie besh!! heehee~ Oh ye, kalau ade yang tak tahu dan nak tahu.. bus fare Cyberjaya - KL = RM 3.50, taxi fare CM - Megamall = RM 5. hehhe!
Tengah sakit kepala nie actually.. tahan tido punye pasal kot! Adohh~!! Sakiiittt! But let's talk a bit about the new layout. Harap maaf la, actually I think it's HIGHLY crappy! The last one is better kot! Nampak laa ade usahe nak buat something! And this one is like.. such-a-lazy-layout!! Tapi entah! Since I wanted so bad to upload new pictures and the 'friends' page.. cam rase kene tuka layout sekali lak. Jadi.. buat laa keje cincai bape jam je ntah.. (searched for poems, picked one that kinda relates, transfer it onto photoshop, picked the font.. by the way, it's the font used for Buffy!, and slice it down to smaller sizes..) Bongok je..
OKlah!! I think I'm leading quite a boring life these days.. tu yang update sikit je.. Oh ye..! I don't think the web is quite complete yet! I'll try and finish up sometime later!

ain't jealousy stinx?

huhuu~!
updated the webby!! reaaaaaaaaaaaaally simple though! takde idea punye pasal.. tau nak siap aje.. hihhihik!
got some pictures uploaded in the friend's page of photos!
pages pasal friends pon dah tuka.. AHHAHAHA!!

"You do care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it."
Ain't that true? (it is for me..) Brilliant words by Rowling.. those were said by Dumbledore towards Harry..
So I've been spending my whole night reading by my table lamp (which currently acting as a bed lamp instead, 'coz it is after all.. on my bed!) only to get myself disappointed. I am utterly distressed and depressed with the fact that I knew what have happened to the whole lot of characters! I have another 12 pages to complete but I doubt I can go on. I WAS sleepy some hours ago.. but due to my stubborness and impatience, I caused myself pain.. and regret! hehhe! Macam serius gile kan? Well, I am.. seriously depressed! I would have to say.. Chapter Thirty-five would be the MOST terrible chapter I have ever read in any of Rowling's work! As it brought me another horrible sensation I have felt since these last few days. huhuu~ I hate the fact that my imagination is pretty wild and when I imagine things.. It'd be so clear and vivid that I feel it for real!! I cried again-lahh!!! So someone REALLY died in this book and it hurt me that it was one of my most most most favorite characters! It's like.. I can't get enough of it, but now I know I will never get enough..! I HATE!! Huwaaaaaaa~!!! Nak dia baleeeeeeek!! Stupidly I was in a state of denial.. until the next chapter when Dumbledore really said the word - DIED. Sedihnyerrrrrrrr!!! It shouldn't turn out that waaay!! Demm freakin' Death Eaters!! Sampai atiiiii!! Benciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

Why did Rowling HAD to pick 'em instead of any other obnoxious (spelling?) ones??

504
-- CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX --
Seen and Unforeseen
That's where I'm at with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Waaahhh~!!! Still so many pages to go through!! Tak sabaaa!! My hands are twitching to flip right to the last pages. huhuu~ Can't wait can't waitttt!!!
Dida told me that one of my cousins was also crazy about the release. AHHAHA!! Maya is studying abroad, and she waited for it as well!! AHHAHA!! Dahlaa kalau kat UK, bookstores opens at 12:01 am!! AHHAHAH!! Lagi beshhh!
Weekend was fine!! I had all the hugs I need from Papa. Funny how I need him so, when I'm troubled. Nina was badgering me to finish my read quickly. Kept saying that she wanted to read it, fast! huhuu~ Yelaa yelaa! Mama bought me a lipstick! WAHHAHA!! Honestly, I REALLY like the color so I tricked her into buying it for me! ekkekek!! Licik jugek saye ini.. huhuuu~
Was questioned by Che Mat in lecture this afternoon. Menggigil lagi.. huhuu~ He was telling the class about those apeture and shutter speed (which I've known a bit from my dad!) hehhe~ So tadi takde laa pening sangat mase dia bebelbebel tuh. And then skali kuar lak soalan camne nak setting the right apeture to the shutter speed!! I'd like to ask those on the back.. The one that's sitting at the top stair, the girl with black tudung.. next to the girl with blue shirt.. (which was Ana) Mase tu gak Wanie ketuk kepala..!! So.. according to my theory, the answer should be "f/22" but I wasn't really in a state of confidence to just shout it out.. then I heard Fendi kept whispering around that the answer was 22.. so bile Che Mat asked me again, I answered 22 lah! hehhe!! Seb baik betul! huhuuu~ Tapi I wasn't confident kan, so.. that was nothing to be proud of.. bluerrgh!
Then skali ujan la plaak! Skipped my Database (sorry Ablen!!) 'coz I was worried 'bout my computer. Tak tau tingkap tutup ke bukak.. huhuu~ Went back with Ana and Alitt since Fina already left with Amal..
Okehh!! I can't write more.. need to get on with my read!! Can't wait to know what's going to happen to those characters in this book!! Rowling is such an amazing woman!!!! I wonder if Harry's going to be with Cho after all.. WAHHAHAHA!! Padan muka korang kalau tak tau lagi what'll happen!! ekkekek!! Biar spoilt! AHHAHAHA!! evilevil

Tomorrow; Avril Lavigne
I don't know how I feel, tomorrow..

SUCH A LONG DAAY!~
Had so much stuff to do after I wake up yesterday!! AHHAHA!! Finally got to see Finding Nemo!! It was so sooo neat!! I really love the movie! Honestly speaking, I cried 4 times through it. AHHAHAH!! Adekeee nangis tengok citer katun! Bengong~ Cried the part when Marlin realized that Coral died, when Marlin told Dory how Nemo was taken away, when he realized that he need to let his son go, and when he thought that they were too late and that Nemo had died.. huhuu~ Sedihh woo!! But it was fun!!! Dory was super funny! ekkeke!! GREAT MOVIE!! Tengoklaaaah~!!! Me and Sheeya saw the 7:15 show while BJ and Asha took the 7:30 show for The Hulk. They said it bores the panties out of them! ehhehe!!

Taken as we waited for Asha around Cyberia, in the car
Finally got back to our rooms at around 12, after we had a very late dinner at Malee with Alitt. huhuu~ Kluar aje ke kitorang nih??
Then.. I wasn't able to get any shut-eye and so does BJ, Alitt and Ana.. and about 4:45 am, we head out again towards KLCC for the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix launching in Kinokuniya with Alitt and Majin!! Woo~hoo!!

Went by Majin's car with Sheeya as BJ and Ana went with Alitt!
Got there at about 6, and there were PLENTY of people at the front doors of KLCC! And as the guard opens the door, so many people stormed in lahhh!! Tergamam woo!! I thought of taking a picture or something but I was too stunned! AHHAHAHA!! Bengong~ Tapi, lagi satu tak join nak main masok pon sebab Papa dah pesan awal-awal.. "You don't need to be the first five.. tak kesah la kalau kene baya penoh pon, asal tak bahayekan diri dah laa.." hehhe! Baik paaak~!! ekkeke! Me and Sheeya were walking at first, but when we saw like everyone was running up the escalator.. right to Kinokuniya (and the escalator was not working at that time.. blom on lagik!) we started to jog, ourselves! ekkeke!! It was a neat experience taau! Tak sangke kat KL sahaje banyak gile fanatics! RAMAI GILEEEEE!! So many people ahead of us!!
Pastu when we got into the line.. we were so tired.. and heyy! Kinokuniya opens at 7 la!! Kene tunggu a full hour before the line gets any shorter. WAHHAHA!

Penat woo!!

Us three that were buying the books-lahh!

It was SO relieving to finally hold the book!! ekkeke!!
Such a neat experience. Agaknye nanti bile buku 6 kuar, camni gak ke aa?? ahhahaha!! And practically all my family was awake to know what's going on with me. Sebab I messaged Dida and she managed to reply them! (Before kul 8 sumer tuh!) And Nina called at 7 something to check up on me.. and then Papa plak call while we're having breakfast! ahhaha!! It felt so good! The only bad side to this is that it left me feeling so crappy and cranky in the morning!! Tak tido punye pasal, and 'coz someone said something yang kecikkan ati Wanie.. huhuuu~ biarlahh!!
After having our breakfast, we head straight back to MMU. This time BJ and Ana on Majin's car and me and Sheeya with Alitt.. heehee! I was asleep for the whole way!! Balek bilek pon, lepas putting all my stuff down.. I dozed off just like that! PENAT GILER WOO!!!
In conclusion.. it was tiring, and it made me dizzy and sleepy, but know what?? It's SATISFYING!! ...totally!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Cloud Number 9
This Bryan Adams' song sounds really nice!
EPPY B'DAY NINAA~!!
Seems like everyone's getting old. hehhe!!
Just got back from breakfast with Papa and Dida.. They came by to bring me moneyy!! woo~hoo!! Beshnyerr dapat peluk Papa tadik. Tak saba nak balek umah!!! But I'm also anticipating for tomorrow. Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix!! Mintak-mintak it'll be a neat memory.. after all that's been going on around me lately. uhuu~
It's pathetic to think that I can't quite eat anything for this time being. Everything seemed to make me wanna puke. Sepanjang ari smalam tak makan! Lapa memang lapa.. but mase tu makan cashewnuts je, rase gile nak muntah! My whole insides were churning.. It wasn't bulimic-related laa, but more to depression yang sangat ganas! AHHAHA!! So that's how my body works! Kenelaa elakkan daripada depression ekk, kalo tak Wanie tak dapat nak makan. Tadi nyer sandwich pon tak abes! Hayyo~ sajeeee je buat Papa risau.. huhuu~ Not feeling so much horrible since yesterday morning.. talked to Ana, talked to BJ, talked to Fina, talked to Musz, talked to Hanis, talked to Dar.. Fuyoo! I had to talk to 6 people before I can really get myself back! uhuu~ Oh iye, Dar nye entry besh ekk?!! heehee~
Dida belikan The Sims Superstar! Tak tau bile nak install.. tengah takde mood nak main la plak!
Been thinking 'bout changing the layout.. amacam aa? Worked on it yesterday, but it looked SO horrible 'coz my heart was not in it. Yeech! Oh ye.. agaknye patut kekalkan ke pages pasal friends ngan family tu aa? 'Coz it got me thinking.. people change, so takkan nak update everytime they make a change kan? Mati Wanie nak handle.. huhuu~ Tengok la camne nanti! Really come to think that I can't really handle drastic changes, especially when it comes to my friends. I think I built my life around them.. so kalau pape jadi, cam susah! Coming to believe that I was terrible in 'special' relationships 'coz I seem to put my friends ahead of it, without me actually realizing it when it happens. So now, if any of my friendship ties shook.. and may leave me.. What will I be left of???

people think i'll never get mad
that i'm always supposed to be happy not sad
i cant deal with all these stress
if u knew the real me
you'd know i was a mess
people create too much drama
and they expect there to be no pain
but the emotions i have inside now
are really hard to explain
i think i'd do better on my own
no fights no friends
just me alone
- dar -

So I laugh at myself yet again..
there goes my short moment of glory and happiness.. there goes the one thing I most cherish in my life.. there goes the freakin' shit I tried to hold on to.. there goes my sanity.. there goes my patience.. there goes my temper.. and there you see, my stupidity..
No matter how hard I tried to keep it to myself, I kept revealing it to the world.. what's up with me?? And why am I blaming myself for all things that happened? And why do I tremble? Why do my heart aches? Why are there butterflies in my stomach?
So I did the same thing all over again.. Hoping for a miracle that I'd get through.. trying my best to say what I really mean. Wishing for something that I should've known better.. ALL OVER AGAINN!! How stupid can I get?? I am SO thick for trying too much when I can do NOTHING about it.. you are so stupid waniee..
I was right all along!! Memang selama ni Wanie langsung tak kenal orang tu.. and selama ni MEMANG dia cume bayangan of a person I cared.. How did I get so lost in my thoughts???
You know who you are.. Sejak dulu saye agak ni akan jadi. Somehow.. Tak tahu kalau awak ade rase cam gini jugak, but dari dulu saye dah takutkan menda nih. I tried so hard to hold on to our good friendship.. But the fact that you didn't try to understand me when I told you how I feel, sickens me. Maybe saye gak yang salah.. to be honest, I blame myself for what had happened tonight. Saye memang inconsiderate kan? Saye selfish for saying all those.. and these! Saye tak tahu nape, but rase macam saye dah lama sangat simpan dalam hati.. You're the best-friend anyone could ever have.. but to my own disappointment, you're not mine.. So kalau kite tak rase marah with each other someday later.. maybe we'll be true friends again... Sebab if I were you.. I'd be angry with me.. So, marah la saye.. benci la saye.. kutuk la saye.. nak baling batu pon okay jugak.. sebab saye tengah sedih sangat, ini yang jadi.. Sorry ek sebab saye expect awak paham saye.. That's my fault.. Saye memang terok for expecting you to understand me when I don't understand you.. I'm just.. so so sooo sorry.. I cared so much sebab I loved you once, and even you broke my heart.. saye maseh saba sebab saye tak boleh nak benci awak.. and it hurts! It hurts that I was never able to hate you.. I AM over you.. so toksah la ingat I was holding on to our past.. I was holding on to the fact that I've known you for almost a year now.. Sorry ekk! We were never meant to be kan? Catastrophic jugek, even as friends...

*bodonyer emotional sangat nihh!*
Ana ngan Dar kalo nak tulis pape dalam blog nihh.. buat discussion hape2 ke, silekanlah! I think I let out too many things in this entry.. Malas nak tulis dah~

I wish I didn't wish so hard~
How Could An Angel Break My Heart; Toni Braxton

(unknown)
You look at me but you're not quite sure
Am I any? Could you get more
You are cool for magizines
Your in love for Charlie Sheen
If you want me let me know
I promise i wont say no

Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your intuition
It's easy to find
Just follow your heart baby

You got somethin that you want to sell?
Sell your self just cash in
You got somethin that you want to tell?
You'll love me wait and see

If you want me dont play games
I promise I wont be a game
menarik lagu nihh.. Intuition; Jewel
Not a bad morning.. Authoring was quite neat! heehee~ Honestly speaking, it's my favorite subject for the moment.. Yang lain smer cam bengong jekkk! I mean, I'm bengong at the rest of them laa.. Authoring je yang cam okay sikit. huhuu~ Tapi rase nak geraaam je tadi.. diapit oleh Fina and Katock yang tadi on the phone bersame partner masing-masing! huwaaaaaaaaa!! Nak pakwe!!! AHHAHAHAH!! Bongok tak Ana? ekkeke~
Oh ye.. Get well soon Kak Maaaaaiiii!!!
Done! = 1:13 pm =

= 1:16 am = Waaaaah~~! Lamanyer kuaaaaaaar!! But it was so neat!! Me, BJ and Alitt were out for about 7 hours!! Penat memang penat.. but time really flies when you're having such a blast with friends.. Thanks koraang! I know that you peeps will always have a special spot in my heart!! PRICELESS!!!
Kuar lepas Alitt abess kelas tadi.. pastu pegi Pertama 'coz the two wanted to get their close-up filter. Then, went to Ampang for dinner ('coz we wanted to meet up with Sheeya!!) Then hung out with her at Coffee Bean.. sebab reason tertentu.. (I'm so happy for you Sheeyaaaaaaaaa!!!!!) oOoO saudara Halim.. kamu sungguh menariiiiik! ahhahaha!! Seronok sangat rase!! But now, I'm left with RM7 to spend until Friday~ Bak kate Ana, kene makan naget ngan minum teh o ais limau je hari-hari.. ekkekeke! Sedih gak Ana ngan Fina takde tadikk.. The place was sooooooooo neat to hung about!!!

From left; BJ, Alitt, Sheeya and myself!
Gile pervert Alitt tadikk..! BJ pon same jekkk!! Tapi apsal menda camtu yang jadi lawak aaa??? Bengong~ ekkekke!
OK!! Papa pliss gimme moneeyyy!! Adohh~! Apsal laa money runs like water when it's with me.. hayyo!! ROSAK!
BJ Sheeya Ana Alitt!! PROMISE aaa!! Pliss plissss!! This Saturday!! Pliss plisss!! Malam ni giler Wanie rase Wanie sayang korang smer! Cemane Wanie kekadang leh tension ngan korang ponn.. (ehehh~) I'll always feel comfortable with you guys!! Kalau pagi Wanie marah kat koraang, by the time dah petang musti Wanie sayang korang balek! Weeeeeeee~!!! Beshnyerr!!!
Alamaaak... lupe la plak those wise words Alitt and BJ said while we were hanging out. Isykk!! It was so neat!! Terlupa la plakss!! I hate it when I don't have my doodling book around! Isykkk!!!
Tapi kat hati ni ade gak terdetik pasal something else.. tapi.... entahla! I can't let my life revolve around something that is not certain, kan kaaan?? I'm afraid of hurting again~
I need to be independent and I need to smarten myself up!! Yosh~!!

I will never know 'coz you will never show~
Carnival; The Cardigans

screaming inside..
= 11:35 = Just got back from a night's out with Bahijah and Alitt. ~ Ana went out to have pizza with Jai while Fina went home to get a camera with Amal ~ We were out from 8:15.. spent some while at TESCO 'coz Alitt wanted to find some stuff. BJ berkelakuan tidak senonoh kat lane men's boxers and briefs. Honestly, I think lane tuh memang ade banyak untuk digelakkan.. hehhehe!! Me and BJ were pretty stupid in there. Sket sket bising bising carik Alitt.. konon sesat laa... terlari lari.. Memang tak snonohh!
Bahijaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! You got me started on the song!! Rase nak gile, tau taaaaaaak??!! She kept on messing around with Alitt's CD player by making it repeat to Ferhad's song over and over and over agaaain!! BENCI LAAA!! I was OVER this song soooo long ago! And now it's stuck again.. Toloooong~ Wanie dah terlayan jiwang plak malam nihh! Torturing!! Aku pernah jatuh cinta, kerana cinta diriku merana.. Aku pernah bahagia, kata manisnya buatku terpedaya.. ya-da ya-da ya-daaa!!
Paling menyeksakan.. well, if it's still dark while you're reading this entry, try and peep through your window.. Can you see it in the night's sky? A full moon..! Sepanjang perjalanan balek from dinner at SS15 tadi nampak bulan tu clear!! Somehow it hurts my insides. BJ bunguuuuuukk!!
Pastu tadi sampai HB3 nampak Dar plak! HAHAHHAA!! oOoOoO.. I got my eyes on Dar only lah~ sebab tak perasan dia ngan sape.. akkakakka!! Azarul ngan Azrin kot.. BANTAAAI! wahahhaha!!
Okay.. ni besh nih! Here's what entered my stomach this whole day..! Colgate, strawberry flavored Chuppa-chup, apple juice, strawberry donut, pineapple, guava, ice lemon tea, mineral water, nuggets, Coke, iced cappucino, otak-otak, mee bandung, fresh orange, cigarette smoke and honey roasted cashewnuts! Nanti kuar, smernye same jeek.. ekkekeke! Eyh, takdelaa terok sangat kan.. Makan gak Wanie rupenye~~
Sewel laa.. I'm feeling mighty horrible right now, tak tahu mengape.. My hands seems to shiver a bit.. bluerrghhh!! This is baaad~!! Aaarrrghhhhhh!!!! I HATE!!

so many entries today.. hummm~

How did it turn out this way?
Saye nak naik gile dah.. seriousss!! Otak saye dah rase tak betul sangat sebab lately nih memang asyik cakap gedik gedik with my frens. Apsal aaa? I am, losing my mind!!
Got crazy people that I call friends.. Tadi lepas Authoring lepak lepak sat kat tepi jalan along side STAD tuh. BJ got herself silly by flirting around with the passer-bys. Maka, saye sebagai seorang rakan yang baik, pun turut serta! Check out smer yang lalu.. buat aksi tak snonoh sket.. ehheh~ You peeps really shouldn't start. (uUuUuu.. tak tahannn.. rRrRrRrR) Sebagai seorang perempuan, hehhe~ bolehla dikatekan buat malu kat depan Alitt.. but since memang tak tahu malu pon depan Alitt.. maka, takdelaa malu! AHAHHA!! Fina jadi tukang gelak je tadi sebab she was on the phone with Amal memanjang. Finally dared BJ to jump in front of any passer-by. Ingat nak suh buat kat stranger, but since blanje air je pon kan.. Takpelah~ biar dia choose nak jump in front of sape.. And kebetulan, Dar, Azarul ngan Fakhrul (ekk?) laluu.. dan BJ pon melompat dengan aksi buduhnye yang membuatkan kami (Alitt, Fina and myself) tergelak gelak. Sakit gile perot sampai kene duduk kat tanah tadik. Kamu ni bunguk la BJ!!!! Eyhh, tadi mase lecture Izuzi cakap pasal kite ke aaa? Humm~ tak terase langsung.. bukan kite la kot!
Still unable to stop myself from cursing. Kenape? Sebab bunguk/bongok/bangang/buduh tu cam minor sangat laaa!! Nak tak nak, terlepas gak! Hadoii~
Then we hung out at My Cafe when Sheeya and Farhana came to join us. Waited for Nana and Ana to join us after they got out from the darkroom. Lepak lepak.. minum minum.. borak borak.. tengok bola.. bla bla blaaa..
Humm.. really want to update the site's layout, taip tapi cam sayang lak 'coz I still like the simple layout! Camne yek? heehee~

Can't Get You Out Of My Thoughts; Dum Dums

mumblemumblemumble
wahahhaha!! Kak Mai have a very evil clock!! It's an alarm clock that's very VERY loud!! Since we all missed our class yesterday, she locked her alarm and right on 8, it went off!! huwaaaaaaaaa!! I know I had a pleasant dream, but I've forgotten all about it 'coz I was so shocked by the clock!! hadoii~~ headache! --0835--
I am seriously going nuts over something!
Okay.. gi klass tadik.. boring je. Wasn't paying any attention at all. Why aa? Somehow my heart's not in anything this morning. Tried to remember what I dreamt of last night but all I recalled was Starbucks Coffee. Hayyo~ Pastu spent the rest of the morning bumping into Dar, Fariz, Ablen and the rest of the gang.. pastu tengok Ana ngan Fina makan donut dengan penuh comotnye.. hehhe!
Beshnyer dah reload my phone! Relieved about so many things these days.. Worried about some things, relieved about so many things.. So that should be okay, lah kan?
Waaaah~!! Dida's coming back for the weekend!! Sangat besh!! Tapi.. tengah tak sure when I'll be coming back plak.. Hopefully Majin bole confirm by Thursday. (please Majin pleaaaaase!!) Somehow I already imagined how I'd react when he said yes or no. Huhuu~ Perangaiku memang ugly.. But if he said no.. then.. Kene carik mangse baru lah kot! ekkekek!! Didaaaaaaaaa!!! Cam sanggup je dia nak bangun pepagi buta nak layan kerenah adek dia yang mengade nihh~
Whatever it is... I really really REALLY hope that I'd get the book on THAT Saturday! Been waiting for yeaaaaarss!! Sungguh tak tahan~
Get these songs if you haven't!! Been crazy about these lately.. hehhe~!
BBMak; Ghost of You and Me, Miss You More - Busted; Losing You, Without You - Counting Crows; Big Yellow Taxi - Fuel; Bad Day - Good Charlotte; Seasons, Wondering - Jewel; Intuition - Jimmy Eat World; No Sensitivity - Lifehouse; Take Me Away (Acoustic) - Linkin Park; Breaking The Habit - MxPx; Rock And Roll Girl, Without You - Simple Plan; You Don't Mean Anything - Third Eye Blind; Motorcycle Drive By
Tell me to silence my heart~
He Don't Love You Like I Love You; Daniel Bedingfield

And I laughed at myself..
It's funny when you thought you knew someone when you actually don't. And you'll get confused.. or you DO actually know them, but for some moments.. they became complete strangers to you.
Rase nak mati bile tengah konfius and sakit ati camni. Bukan menda ape pon.. but the things yang tak dicakap yang buat kite rase.. bunguk. I am feeling mighty stupid for expecting more than what I knew better. I guess.. sebenanye.. what hurts more is when you REALLY thought you knew a person tapi for some reasons, they changed. Kee.. selama ni diorang pretend to be someone yang pleasing? Or, I've been self-deceived all this while?? Bluerghhh~ memang rase nak ketuk kepala..
Trying to figure someone out is waaaay too hard for me. Though how much I try to avoid it, I still can't stop from trying to analyze certain people. And then I'll get confused.. bile confused, my mood will get crappy.. and time tuh, memang berjaya la for me to stop analyzing.. time tu jugak I'd stop caring! ahhahaha!!
Not so sure if everyone can relate to this.. but logically, it should. When someone that matters to you, said something or didn't say something that is out of your expectation, you'd get pretty upset. Though you didn't show it, there'd be a tinkle in your heart that said that it really matters to you, no matter how silly it really was..
Eyh, know what? If this wasn't my own blog, and I read this up.. I'd say that I'm actually in love with someone lahh!! Kan kaaann? ekkekeke!! But to get it straight, I've been typing this out bukan sebab something happened or did not happen between me and whomever I like lahh! It's just about someone that happen to matters to me. Sorang yang I cannot lose, somehow.. So, takmo la hilang!! Sedih tauu!
So.. the changes I thought I felt is freaking me out 'coz I don't want to realize someday, that I REALLY don't know that person. Memang selama ni cume bayangan of a person I cared jek.... okay? I guess that's my biggest fear.. Waking up one morning.. knowing that I only had the memory of friends but they're not really mine!
Baguss.. self-discovery di tengah malam. So what have I found out throughout the years? I have low self-esteem, very insecured, immatured, silly, spoilt, not really smart and some might even say dumb, self-centered, short-tempered.. so what's there to like? Rase smer dalam Friendster tu tipu lak. Ye yee je smer nak puji. Tak dapat pape la weeeeeiii! Kutuk la plak!! Kenape orang lagi suka mengumpat than just to tell the truth kat orang tuh? Sungguh Wanie takleh jadi psychologist.. rase cam Wanie yang naik psycho~

I wish I didn't knew of you so it'd save me from all these fears..

Miss you, I hope you're doing well..
Haaauuu~ been a very cold day, today. BrrRrRr..
Been doing nothing much all day.. Missed my morning class.. overslept! When I wake up, it was already 9! Hummph! But, paling kelakaa.. my whole room missed our morning class! Kak Mai also had class on 9, and Kak Siti on 10. But we all missed them. AHHAHAHA! Bengong~
Thenn.. what did I do? Owh! As we were walking towards MDP, bumped into Majin.. pujukpujukpujukpujuk.. Majiiiinnnnn!! JOM AA PEGI THIS SATURDAAAYYY!! Bleh dapat buku free kalo kite awal taaaau!! JOM AAA!! JOMMMM!!! Pujuk ape? Well, I'm trying to get Majin to get me and some others (maybe) to Kinokuniya on Saturday morning for the launching of Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. JOM AAAA!!!! pleasepleasepleaaaaaaaaaseeeee!! Majiiiinnnn!! Kang Wanie beg karaaaang!! Don't turn me down Majiiinnnn! Jangan jangan jangaaaaan! Nanti Wanie nangiiiiiiisss... huwaaaaaaaa!! JOM LAAAAAAA!!! Ayohhhh~!!
Okie.. I'd like to quote Che Mat's line this afternoon; "Girls and girls.. eeee~" Bengong~ Were briefed (spelling?) on our next assignment. Depth of field & Motion studies. He told us to go with groups of guys and gurls or it'll boring! cihh~! Sabo je laa.. And what else he said? He didn't want to see his students looking ugly (what word exactly did he used?) in swimming trunks so he told us to get in shape! AHHAHAHAH!! Klako la plak~
Database went.. pretty fine. I hate drawing those relations stuff, but takpeee.. sia-sia la kalo ade rumet IT tapi tak tanye ape, kan kaaannn?? Dahlaa Kak Mai pon kate "Database best aaa"! AHHAHA!! Memang patut ditanyee..
Oh well, the rest of the evening was boring! Main UNO ngan Ana and Kak Mai, tapi lepas tuh dah boring balek.. Mane taknye! Dok main dajal-dajal lak.. sampai kene amek 12 cards! chit~!
Saw My Bestfriend's Wedding for the.. I don't know! Brape banyak kali ntahh!! Kak Mai's CD.. and I noticed this neat line.. He have you in his mind, but me in his arms. hadoii~ So if someone said something like that to you, how would you react? Would you actually prefer to be in his/her arms, or mind? Kalau korang dah kenal Wanie, musti korang tau Wanie pilih ape.. HAHAHHAA!! So, I'm not gonna tell you what I'd choose..

Joel: "This song is about tortured love"
Seasons; Good Charlotte

crazy over..
1 - Good Charlotte!!
My playlist have been playing their songs for a straight 4 weeks now.. entah nape biarkan aje denga lagu diorang ulang-ulang..
2 - Guitars and guys that can sing! AHHAHA!!
I get a sudden shiver when I heard Take Me Away by Lifehouse, Bad Day by Fuel and Foo Fighter's Walking After You. Apsal aa? Dah naik basi dah lagu ni smer.. but still rase besh gak!!
3 - Strawberry
tak sudah sudaaah! Been spending the weekend by stuffing myself with strawberry-flavored ice cream and Chuppa-chups!
4 - colored pen
Been messing around with 'em and doodled on my own arm..! ekkeke!
5 - Big Yellow Taxi
haaau~ it's stuck in my head!! Still downloading this song! Just found out that Counting Crows sang it, so baru nak start download. Sape ade dah lagu nihhhhh?

lapa dan kesejukkan.. bencinyerr

wow!!
I just checked MMU's student directory.. looking for a friend's name, but afterwards.. I just typed around for my name.
When I typed ida, over 200 names come out.. when I typed hazwani, seventeen came out.. when I typed in wanie.. how many results came out? Only ONE! Only Ida Hazwanie je taaau!! AHHAHA!! I'm the only Hazwanie around here.. aaaah~ I love the E at the end of my name! ekkekek!!
Yippeee~!!

RE-CAP!!
Let's re-cap what I've had all through this week.. but first,
EPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY~!!
today's Father's Day, and also Billy of Good Charlotte's birthday! Turned 22 this year..

Monday
- went silly and created a discussion topic; Friends or Lovers. Joined by Dar and Ana. (Korang besh~!!)
- hung out at HB0 sebab rinduuuuu~~

Tuesday
- down with a flu.. yeech!!
- kene kaco ngan Ablen and Dar in the darkroom! Sebok nyer dua budak tuh~
- bumped into Shahnon for the first time!

Wednesday
- managed to finish the proposal for Authoring and kene puji ngan Hilmy lak tuuuh~!! woo~hoo!
- angau lagu Take Me Away by Lifehouse!! hauuuu~~
- saw Pui Sim!!
- nampak aje Shahnon around.. hummm? ekkekek!
- still down with the flu.. bluerghhh!!

Thursday
- menggigil-gigil as I waited for Che Mat to check my work.. hadoiii~ I hate doing work in stress!!
- Majin's birthday laaa!!!
- BJ.. heart-broken
- went pretty psycho!!
- had to go home 'coz I was still down with that stupid flu~

Friday
EPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG~!!
ahhahha!! June 13th! Genap setahun dah my online journal nih wujud~~
- Jasmin came to visit!
- stayed at home all day..! But flu's getting better!!

Saturday
- went out early in the morning with Papa to catch the sun coming up!! He taught me how to use Abang Kamera (my dad's camera.. bought on '83!! Gile antik maaa!) Agak manual..



(these were taken with the digital camera)
- finally remembered that I need shower foam! Dah abess!! Try pH 5.5 yang Soothing lak ekk? Lavender~~
- saw the picture I took.. lawa ke? Will show it when I've scanned it up, insya-Allah kalau rajen..

Sunday
EPPY PAPA'S DAYY~!!
Takyah celebrate pon, Papa tau how I feel kan kaaan? hehhehh! Why have Father's Day when you can appreciate them any rest of the year? Why wait for a particular day?? Takkan nak tunggu June 15th baru nak sedar their sacrifices for you??? Kan kaaan?? *hugsssss*
- saw Pacarku; Shaden's video clip at the end of Juara Lagu on TV3!
- bored all day long.. takde aktiviti langsung!! BLUEKKK!
- until... Papa checked the bank, and decided to go to Pertama and get Abang Kamera's lense cleaned, and get the filter stuff!! WAHAHHAHA!!
- kalo nak beli lense baru for Abang Kamera, it'll cost RM900! So Papa bought me a 2nd-hand camera laahhh!!! It's manual (good thing I already knew how to work one!) but good enough for me lahh!! woo~hoo!!!
- I have my very own cameraaa!!! And makan chicken chop tadik!! WAHAHHAHA!!
- HEPI HEPI HEPI!!

That's all, folks!

conversation of the day.. (Y!M)
wanie: adohh~
wanie: nak gi toilet
wanie: :-&
ana: same
wanie: (fina slalu buat gini)
ana: ohoho
ana: okeh
ana: jumpe kat toilet
wanie: :))
wanie: :P
ana: toilet jomm
wanie: jom jomm

ekkekek!! I don't know why I find this so amusing.. probably coz there's nothing much else interesting left to say! Boring yang amat.. dahlaa tengah sakit aje!! Things are pretty sucky these days. I'm gonna say this without much doubt - this is one of the most terrible weeks I've had since I turned 18.. ehhehehe!
note : rupe rupenye name tutor MCP kitorang is Hilmy and NOT Helmi like I've been spelling his name since the start...
Anta asenmen tadi.. nothing much to be proud of.. practically rejected-lah! Lega that it's settled jek. But nothing.. absolutely nothing to be proud of. Actually I'm even more disappointed at myself for making stupid judgements along this week. I hate myself for something.. just to save my butt, I did the one thing I tried to avoid. I am horribly disappointed..
If equal affection cannot be, then let the more loving one be me.. I heard this in Felicity some weeks ago. And I think I believe in it. I asked Ana the question I once asked Papa, Nina and Dida last night while we were sitting around. Would you rather to like or to be liked? And I'm still the only one who preferred to like 'coz Ana picked 'to be liked'! Apsal aaa?? I guess there's something in me that says I need to satisfy my heart. I feel the 'must' to like that person first. There's absolutely nothing wrong about being liked first. It can be that guy likes me first.. just I'd rather to have some feelings for him before I know that he actually likes me.. Being liked ought to be flattering right? But I'd probably wait.. Chloe Sullivan's silly for waiting on Clark Kent.. something that she can't tell if it would ever be! But if you're not in a hurry, why jump onto the first bus that came to you, 'aight? Humm.. I think like crap these days.. entah mengape..!
Suddenly reminded of some wise words that my sister gave to me, takleh tamak dalam bende camni.. hehhehe!! That line made me think about loaaadddss of stuff!! Thanks Nina!!
klaka lak rase.. tengahari camni pikir pasal menda gini lak! Kalo tengah malam tu cam paham la gak! ekkeke!

stupidly, i....

marahmarahmarah
wahh~!! Gaya baru nak break up! Send an email!! Woww~!!
Such a coward! It's one thing not to see 'em in person, but not making yourself available for a feedback is simply stupid! And no one deserves that! DUSHUMM~! (punching my own face for my own cowardly act some years ago..) Tapi almaklumlah, dulu email tak femes sangat, so I wrote a letter! WAHHAHAHA!! Adohh~ my stupid stupid ole days.. and I am still stupid.. bahaye nih!
So there's some people in Friendster post something on the bulletin board, about 99 Things Girls Should Know About Guys..? Was that what it was called? Anyways, so I remember this thing.. quite clearly. It said something like, when a guy lets his girl go, it means that he truly love her..? Something like that.. well, is that true?? Tadi Katock said that every one of the info on that list was true.. about the crying part, and the hand-touching. AHHAHAH!! Tapi.. that particular number, betul keeeeeeeeeee???? Bluerghhh! Nak kate laki suxX.. ade gak yang menarik hati! Nak kate I hate guys, I'm straight.. takkan nak ske pompuan lak kan? WAHHAHAHA!! Harini memang Wanie saiko laa..
It hurts to see when someone you care about hurts.. kan? And it also hurts to finally realize that you cared for a scum!
Honey, you know you're much better without him.. and he just proved that he's not worth your heart and mind!! Bluekk to all guys like that! Laiepon.. bole temankan Wanie yang single nih kan?? WAHHAHAH!! Pening dok tengok lagi dua eko tu berkepit memanjang.. ekkekeke!! Tapi besh gak ade orang leh bawak kuar makan cam tadik~! Thanks Ana & Jai!! weeeee~!
Today is Yesterday was officially a bad day for me. Dari pagi hinggalaaaah ke petang! The only good thing that happened today yesterday was Helmi's comment on the proposal. Selain tuh memang takde yang menggembirakan hati. Dengan kene carik frame laiee.. dengan sempat lapar lagi.. adohh~! Tak seronok! And I was getting so worried over tomorrow's today's submission that I was getting so cranky and cerewet over the things I did. Doing the stupid overlay was not fun at all!! Langsung langsung tidak!! A BIG no no!! Memang saiko lahh!! Maybe someday later I should change my web's name into something more like Kak Yan's Emorealm.. jadi Taman Saiko lak kee.. tapi, 'taman' cam hepi sangat plak! Reminded me of Sesame's Street in Malay version - Taman Sesame.. (yes, definitely stupid!!)
Haaa.. takmo lupe niihh~
EPPY BIRTHDAY MAJIN~!!
Tak tipu kan arinih b'day Majin? Kalo tipu, takmo kawan! Hummph~!!
Okaay, I think I should rest myself.. ade lebih kurang 3 jam nak tido.. actually takde slera nak tido.. but macam takde menda nak buat, and takot Che Mat bising kee if I look like crap.. adohh~! Che Mat cerewet nih.. making me even mengade than usual!! I HATE!!

woops~ otak saye tercicir lagi.. (lost my mind again)

Some friends are worth to be thrown
Some are good to keep
Some are to be treasured forever
And I think you are the one to be thrown..

in the treasure box to be kept forever

ahtchoo~!!
I think I got a cold!! huwaaaaa!! My nose itches badly!! Dok bersin bersin jek.. I HATE!! Feels like I should put away my nose for a while to relieve the itch.
Been feeling down since the morning. Can't really say why.. just a feeling inside that leaves me feeling MIGHTY horrible. Despite the scary news of MDP's submission, and Che Mat's judgements on those photogramme stuff.. sure kene rijek esok!! woo~hoo!! I can hardly wait!! It should be one memorable hour! WAHHAHAHA!!
Authoring tutorial went fine, but it's a shame that we got one heck of a computer. Slow giler!! Memang menguji kesabaran. Helmi kept walking around the class, looking over our (me, BJ and Fina) shoulders to see what we're doing. It wasn't all that bad, somehow. Blaja gak something arinih~ Then I went to show him the proposal me and Ana did, and he said it was interesting and he was pretty satisfied with it!! There were some comments about our target audience though, since he's concerned about the way the layout will be and it may not be suitable for some of the audiences. Takpe laah~! Kene puji gak tadi!! WAHHAHAHA!! It was surprising that he finds the topic interesting! Besh beshh~!! psst~ Helmi kinda hummed/sang 'la la la laaa' while he was clicking and waiting for a page to load up in our computer! He is human after all!! He showed some humanly characters in class this morning, but could he be an android? ekkekek!!
Maseh bad mood~
Owh! Yesterday was indeed Shahnon.. ekkeke!! I really have to sort out myself. Ape kene laa mereng pandang gile gitu.. Sori Shahnon! ekkekke! Dah banyak kali kene tego sebab selalu sangat pandang orang menggile begitu. Just last week Fina bising sebab mase tu Wanie ternampak Shahrir kat FOE. ahhahha! O ye.. saw Pui Sim when me and the gurls were walking down the stairs towards class!! And then, I think I saw another schoolmate of mine.. humm~ mungkinkah? ekkekke!
Really don't know why I'm still feeling crappy! aiisyyhh!! Tak besh~!

change of heart starts with the change of mind.. ye ke?

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Hadoiii~! Ade adeeee je la Jason Wade ni nak buat orang angau! WAHHAHAHA!! That was a part of Take Me Away; Lifehouse. Sape tak penah denga laie, DENGA LAAA!!
Did the Authoring proposal last night with dear Ana.. can't believe how much fun we actually had! heehee~ keje tu sronok, cume nak start nye tuh yang malas.. hehhe! Maybe later-later baru reveal what we're doing for the interactive CD stuff we're making!
Okay.. going back to sleep now since class is at 11! Just got up to get the proposal printed (thanks BJ!) and listen to Lifehouse.. nyehheh!!
Tengah selsema/pening-pening/seram sejuk now nih.. So I don't think I'll enjoy playing in the rain outside today.. aiiisyhh! Tak tau ape kene skang ni asyik tak sehat~ bluerghhh!

clueless

ekkekeke!!
Okay, finally letting go that Friends or Lovers topic. Dah tak tertahan, kene gak tulis daily blog! ekkeke!! Actually, I really fond of that topic 'coz two of my neat friends contributed an entry taau!! So, besh lak rase!! Ikutkan ati, nak je start discussion blog.. get all of my bestfriends on it. WAHAHHA!! saiko~
Having an achy everything. Rase cam smer bodyparts nak tanggal..
Did the photogramme stupidly again. I am seriously NOT talented in those things.. I HATE~!! Dahlaa Ablen ngan Dar kaco kaco..! Tau la korang nyer lawaaaaa!! (curik pandang tadik~ ekkeke!) Seb baik Wanie tak tunjuk tau! Kalu tak, buat malu jekk~! bluekk~ I am SO terrible at my assignment!!! Tolooooooooooong!!!
Authoring lecture was indeed interesting as it usually is.. hehhe~ I really like that Kenneth guy-lah! He seems more humanly than Helmi who seems so perfect and organized! Sayangnye dapat Helmi as my tutor. He's okay.. really! But it gets a lil' boring as he ALWAYS has an answer for everything! Cakap pon tak salah tuuuuuh~!!! Takde pon cakap mengarut time kelas..! Kalau nak diikutkan, patut takde menda nak kutuk.. (memang takde) but I REALLY prefer Kenneth! heehee~ One thing pasal Helmi though.. I really like the way he picks for volunteers.. That paper plane was exellent! ekkekke!
Getting dizzy.. ngantuk to be exact! heehee~

kerang busuk~ ngaaaap!

Friends or Lovers
to be or not to be... that is not the question. the question is nak jadik ke tak. huhuhu.. bongok tak wanie?. hihihi....
it's going to be a very confusing moment for me if this situation happens. but i think if i like my friend and suddenly feel like wanting him to be more than just friends, i'll just keep the feelings to myself and wait for him to make the first move. hehehe. coz it's a very nice feeling having someone you love close to you at all time. things might change if he knows the truth prematurely. (tgh ngarut ke nie??..tapi cam logik jer). unless if he show signs that he is interested in you then it's not wrong to take the risk and let him know the truth (chewah cam expert plak..ngarut2 je nie wanie..tapi cam logik jugak..macam jerla tapi) buat ape nak kisah. if he/she doesn't feel the same way.. sekurang2nyer kite penah kenal dia. sempat nak gatal2 skit ngan dia (hohoho)..okayla cam nak dekat merepek dah nie..bye2
- ana -

Friends or Lovers
waaa,i really don't have any idea to write due to the topic, and i'm bad in writing!!..hmm...what would happen when friendship turns to love?? well,i guess there's nuttin wrong bout it, if both of them feel the same for each other, just go for it then.. maybe it will be easy for them as they already know each other well.. or maybe they will feel awkward, but that's if only one of them have such feelings towards the friend. i can't say that he/she need to think back wether he/she really like the person or it is just a feeling that he/she felt as they had become close together, because isn't that supposed to be in the package of relationship?? (ape aku merepet nih..!) if he/she is sure that the person feels the same way too, it's not wrong to make the first move (tak kesah laa yg buat first move tu laki ke pompuan asalkan sure) ..what bout if it's a one way feeling..? meaning he/she likes the person but sorang lagi yilek?? if the other person isn't into anyone, maybe he/she can lead the person to like him/her (kirenye buat baik + hints laa) akkaka....
but if that person completely ignored the hintings and dates with other people, just don't do that u-know-i-like-u-but-i-forgive-u-because-i'm-a-good-person face because to 'some' people that will annoy them n that will only make the chances less..
as for me, it all depends on...................~~
for further information, visit www.888.com ....dah panjang dah ni.. so baik blah sbb surely ade yg cakap saye ni merepek gile.. bye~
- dar -

Friends or Lovers
Dah lama tak mengarut.. So, let's!!
What would happen when friendship turns to love? ekkeke!! Okay, since I actually made some really neat guy friends over the years.. I think it wouldn't be too hard to say much about this. Practically.. I'll be talking about my fears, wokie! And my 'what-ifs'..!
I was thinking about three shows I watched throughout my life, one night. My Bestfriend's Wedding, Friends and Lovers (Japanese series), and the other.. I can't remember anymore! ekkeke!! The two I mentioned was about two girls and a guy, wokie!
Talking on the girl's side.. I'd say.. if a girl fell for her own bestfriend, I'd say that she'd be terrified more than pleased. It'd be nice to be with someone that knew you well.. someone that knew what makes you happy and upset. But getting to start that relationship, would be one terrifying experience.
Let's make an example out of Friends and Lovers. The guy and gurl was indeed a couple at first, and when they broke up they became best-friends. So it happens, the girl never lose her feelings towards the guy when the guy told her that he's in love with a new girl. She backed away~
I'd do the same if I was in her shoes. Honestly, what chances would I have against this new girl? If I was with him all this while - as his friend who's been there for him.. why wouldn't he choose me over this girl? I've been in front of him all the time, and he still sees the other girl.. I'd back away~
Sakit hati la jugak.. to see the one you like with another person, but what else can you do? In a way, I need to make sure that he's happy! Even when I'm not.. kan? That's the right thing to do, anyways!
As for My Bestfriend's Wedding.. see! Cameron Diaz got the guy in the end! Even when the guy seemed like he'll never forget Julia Roberts! They're very very good friends, and she did told him that she loves him.. but that guy made his choice..
Tapi kan.. Wanie rase, kalau pompuan single, she'd cherish her friendship more than any possible-relationships laa.. I'd say that she'd keep her feelings to herself and hope that someday her bestfriend would say something.. Like Chloe Sullivan.. (that's it!! The other show - Smallville!!) She has been into Clark since forever, and though she tried to show him how she felt for him, she never really CONFESSED.. y'know?! Still wishing that Clark would finally see her for real. (Excuse me, I'm still talking about the first season wokie! The ending of second season would turn differently.. nyehehh~) One sickening truth about girls.. Jarang beno nak take chances! Always keeping to the safe side.. Tapi kan.. Wanie rase laki pon lebih kurang jekkk!! WAHHAHAHA!!
Humm.. maybe if I get some guys' point of view, this topic would be a wee bit more interesting..

gelakgelakgelakgelak 6:50 PM
Thanks Dar!! Rajen layan kerenah Wanie ekk? Besh beshh~~ tapi, depends on.........~~ ape tuhh? Depends on what?
Aaaanyways.. I'm badgering on Ana to give her opinion now.. wahho~!!
oh yee.. warning : website Dar kasi tuh memang biOL!
ps= today's blog aaa.. boringboring.. slept at 6 in the morning and woke up at 8.. got headache during MCC.. only listened to the grammatical incorrect lecture about nept? nep?? amenda?? (see.. I don't listen at all..!) Was so into planning the Authoring proposal ~ kununnyerr! heehee~ tadi kene cobit ngan Cik Ummi..!!! nyehhehh~ o well.. will probably update laaaaater in the evening. PROBABLY je laa..
batokbatokbatokbatok 11:25 PM
feeling sick~!! what a stupid evening.. hung out at HB0 with Ana (thanks for the entry, Anaaa!! slop slopp~!!) and BJ after having our dinner, 'coz we missed hanging out there sooo much!! Honestly, I missed sitting there with the guys and their guitars! ekkeke!! Rindu giler.. bole juge dikatekan tahap angau~ AHHAHA!! So, after realizing that we're beeing the main course for the mosquitoes, we went back to our rooms.. And I went straight for my bed 'coz I was suddenly drowned with tiredness.. Pastu bile terjage, sedih giler!! The room was dark, no one was around.. and my computer was not blinking!!! Huwaaaaaaaa!! Sedih gile taaauu!! Dahlaa kene tinggal sensorang.. gelaap (sebab malas nak on lampu.. ehhe~) pastu computer bisu! I HATE!! Abehh window yahu yang besh! Aiiissyhh! Takdir Tuhan memang sukar nak diduga! ekkekeke!!

ADOHH~!!
sungguh bosan ini malam...

sekian, terima kacehh

Adohh~!
ahhaha!! Don't know why, but that word has been the most used word for me these couple of days.. "takleh nak install 3dmax laa.." adohh~! "sape leh tolong nih?" adohh~! "nak buat ape untuk 3d nihh" adohh~! "camne nak buat nihh!! bengapnyerr!!" adohh~! "maner smer orang?" adohh~! "sakit dada pikiiiir!!" adohh~! "kalau pasal awak nape?" adohh~! "camne nak anta nihh??" adohh~! "terbau awak kang" adohh~! And I'm still using that word frequently! Can't stop myself!!
Been spending most of the day sleeping. Didn't even wake up for MDP this morning, 'coz I was so tired from lack of sleep! (went to sleep at half past four) And had my shower and all at around 10.. but got to sleep again until 1 something when me, Ana and BJ went out for lunch in Putrajaya. Went to see those Digital Media peeps' works.. ade gak yang menariik.. tapi maseh tak rase sampai nak amek DM la nanti.. still open to suggestions.. Sape tau budak MI buat keje camner?? Nak tahuuu~! Wahhh~!! I must be lucky tonight~ This guy, Pak Long is majoring in MI!! ahhahha!! Gooood Friendster stuff! I really made neat friends! ekkeke! Aaaaaaanyways! Guess it's just my luck that when I got there, Shahnon and Kak Yan was not around to show me off their stuff.. and Kak Aleen was already on her way back.. tak besh~!
Okaay, suddenly I have a real shoulder pain. Stress? Entah dari mane la datangnye.. bluekkk!

I didn't mean to fall in love with you,
And maybe there's a name for what you put me through,
It isn't love, it's robbery,
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me..
The Ghost of You and Me; BBMak

Guessing games
Adoiii.. what a confusing life I'm going through. It's SO confusing that you can actually relate it to having a crush! Y'know, when you like someone.. you're not sure if they like you back! So every little thing he/she did can make you think that they actually like you as well 'coz you can relate to the thing they did, when the truth is, they're just doing their everyday thing, and it has nothing to do with you! AHHAHA!! Bagos punye perumpamaan.. but hey! Having a crush IS confusing, 'aight? So.. that's my point! I have a REALLY confusing life!!! Entah kenape skang ni suke sangat buat perumpamaan yang bongok~
I was listening to Hemorrhage; Fuel just now and I got mad over the lyrics! It's absurd but I find myself hating this line now.. "don't fall away, and leave me to myself.." I seem to find myself that way these days.. by myself.. kenape? cube jawab sikit! And I was reminded of something someone said to me days ago.. what a lie! I don't know how I got this sensitive over measly things, but this really suxX!! Being emotional suxX! As much as I like being myself.. spoilt, silly, stupid and everything.. I hate the fact that my heart seem to overpower my brain! It shouldn't be like that, should it? Of course, if I listen to my head from the start, I won't be the spoilt, silly, stupid girl like I am right now.. but getting your brain overpowered by your own heart is *demm* tiring!! I am officially.. emotionally instable! Adoiii~

I want to fall away~

Saiko..!
Aaarrrghhhh!!! Why am I feeling like crap?!! I'm affected by someone that isn't really anyone in my life, so how's that possible??! I HATE!! I hate youuu 'person'! You're making my life miserable and you don't even care!! I regret the fact that I'm too trusting with people, 'coz it usually hurts me in the end!! I HATE!!!
What a lonely lonely day.. practically NO ONE was online! What a boring boriiiing day.. I HATE!!
And i still have my 3D object to do.. tapi application takmo jalan!! ARRGHHHHH!!! I HATE!!!

takde mood nak buat ape pon..

edited on June 9th 2003, 6:29 PM saiko tak tentu pasal.. nak kate PMS, tak jugak! memang mereeeng.. hisy~!

Half crap-half super~
What a day.. refuse to talk about the morning 'coz it's simply crap! Can't really tell about it or you'll see a hint of anger in the words I'll be using! So.. leave the morning out! It was simply crappy!
Can't stop myself from listening to Frenzal Rhomb - I Went Out With A Hippy & Now I Love Everyone. I think I like the song 'coz the fella got a bit of accent! AHHAHAH!! I mean, punk rockers usually sing with a slang/accent 'aight? And this guy's is like.. over-doing it? AHHAHAH!! Anyways, I like it! Honestly, if I wasn't 'saved' by the existance of 'menutup aurat' and 'adab', surely I would've been a punk.. 'coz I get jealous with girls that wear tank top and with extra piercing on their faces! AHHAHAH!! Terok ekk? So.. all I can do these days is color my nails in black! hehhehe~ Itu pon jarang dah.. sebab marker kene ciluk ngan sape ntah! Leceh btol.. nak carik real nail-color.. malas! Nak ilangkan pon leceh.. keje yang busuk~ Really can't stand the smell of the chemical used for removing the color!
Been talking to Syahrir this afternoon! It's nice to be talking to someone you've known for quite some time! Cite pasal bebudak skolah.. rambut Zooleak dah kembali normal ke?? Aduhh~ tak besh! Adam dah pindah Johor.. humm~ teringat time main lastik! ekkekeke! SO immature..
Oh ye, Fariz.. someone named trapzone sent you and Fakhrul his/her regards. (see over the chatterbox!) heehee~ Kawan skolah tak? ekkekeke! Bole plak main pesan-pesan ekk? heehee~

And I still wonder.. will I ever get through?

Wohh~! I guess I'm very much LUCKY!
So I was wrong about Kak Mai's name. It's actually MaiZATUL! ahhahha!! She's so neat and now I know why! It started with she.. waving about at me while I was SO into my mp3s with my headphone. When I lowered it down she asked, "Libra bulan brape?". So after answering her question, I asked her what's her star sign.. when she answered, I got pretty excited, and when I've calmed down, I gave her some bits of horoscope compatibility that I knew of.. so why did I get excited? Kak Mai's actually a Sagittarian as well!! And her birthdate is on December 15th!!! So I went to Fina's room (where there's BJ as well since she was locked out from her own room! Poor BJ~) and told them about the new discovery! And somehow we started on a list of Sagittarian we knew! Who was on that list? Ana, Musz, Ablen, myself, Michael Owen, Kak Mai, Izwan (BJ's boyfriend!), Dida, Brad Pitt and some other loads!! Besh taau~! 'Coz Sagittarians are cool! AHHAHAHA!! I have so many Sagittarian friends! I really noticed that most of my good friends are all fire elements! (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) AHHAHAHA!!
Okay.. having a bit sore-throat. Probably from screaming around and laughing about! Had that quite some times this day.. So in conclusion, this was such a dehydrating, tiring and depressing day but full of laughters! heehee~ That shouldn't be right.. but that's what today was.. well, yesterday-lah!

bebola getah yang menggelikan hati~

EPPY B'DAY PAPAAA~!!
Quite a tiring day, today.. After meeting up Papa and Nina in the morning, I went to class.. without Ana by my side as I usually do. And I met up with Ablen who happened to be waiting for his guy friends to come along! And since I was alone, what the heck?! Why would I want to stay alone all morning, 'aight?! heehee~ Later, Ana came though.. late! But she came.. ^_^ O yeah.. note to myself : nak geram ngan Dar sebab dia cakap "takmo kacau korang" when we asked him to sit with us. Ngadeee!!
Then in the afternoon.. hung out a while in HB3, as we decided when to move for Pyramid. BJ wanted to find a hub for her room, and Sheeya also wanted to get her car washed! Bermasalah sungguh! Sheeya's car won't start after the car wash, so we went to Pyramid by BJ's car. Tak buat ape pon, lepas beli hub, masok kedai gitar kejap.. balekkk.. Had to go for Database at 4!
And now, I'm finally back to my room since the morning! I'm really REALLY tired! And I think I should get some shower soon.. Somehow I think I'll be getting itchy soon... aarrrghhhh!! Later~

bluerghh~

Wah~ emo juge diri ini kadang kala..
Just last night a friend asked if I get bad mood all the time, and I said "nope". Ye ke? ekkekke!! Okay, I do believe that I don't get like that so much, but when I do.. rase cam teruk! Sometimes I don't feel like I should give myself a ME time. ahhahha!! 'Coz I felt like I've given myself loaaads of ME time.. But.. really? ahhahahha!!
Went to sleep in a pretty crappy mood. Pasal ape? Malas nak cite.. And around 3 am.. that itch got to me again! CRAP!! Stupid allergy! I really should get to the clinic. Can't stand to scratch myself for another night! Good thing I got Mopiko last night, somehow tak perlu menggaru sangat bile dah letak tu..

No Sensitivity; Jimmy Eat World

well i've got my car
we could go and sit awhile
I know it won't turn over
but we'll get somewhere just the same
i'm through talking
the strangest thing but I feel safe when i'm lonely
don't take too much
cause you'll get burned if it's all at one time

the world don't spin without you
i'm amazed you're standing still
taking my kisses back oh
and I want my kisses back from you
no your problems they aren't problems
so be glad they never will
i'm taking my kisses back oh
and I want my kisses back from you

take it easy
don't you get it's just expression
won't you raise your voice
everytime a little dirt gets under
cry if you want
the return of no sensitivity
you don't have to scream
to say something that you honestly mean

the world don't spin without you
i'm amazed you're standing still
i'm taking my kisses back oh
I want my kisses back from you
and no your problems they aren't problems
so be glad they never will
taking my kisses back oh
I want my kisses back from you from you you

when you hear those footsteps calling
isn't it obvious, isn't it obvious
it's okay if you don't answer
I thought it was obvious, I thought it was obvious

the world don't spin without you
i'm amazed you're standing still
i'm taking my kisses back from you
I want my kisses back from you
your problems they aren't problems
so thank god they never will
taking my kisses back from you
i want my kisses back from you from you you

from you you you
from you you you
from you you

I want my kisses back from you you you

Must be a bad weekend.
While I'm writing this entry, it's not even half past six! So it must be a bad weekend at home, 'aight? 'Coz I'm already in MMU..!
Honestly, I don't know.. but I had to endure one itchy weekend..! And I'm still itchy all over!! I think I have this allergic reaction to something I don't know, 'coz I didn't get to the clinic. Why? Because I am one stubborn git, and I have a hard-to-tame temper!! A VERY bad combination, indeed! So, in conclusion, I'm still itching like h* and there's rashes all over my body!! Huwaaaaaaa!! Tak tahaaaaaaaaaan!!
Then, balek bilek, Kak Mai cakap.. "..dah tengok Finding Nemo! Best~" Huwaaaaaaaa!! And checked my chatterbox, Kak Yan already seen it as well!! Chit!! Tak aciiiiiii!!

hadoi!! gatalgatalgatalgatal!! Rase cam kucing lak.. tergaru-garu cam ade kutu.. akkakakka!!