Dear,

wouldn't it be a nice change if i am able to say everything that i wanted to say? if i can say all that i've been meaning to say? i have so many things that i want to tell you but the sheer thought of speaking of it really freaks me out..
and i've been wanting you to say those things for me but it seems like i've been dreaming all this while. i must be really.. really stupid for letting myself believe that i can ever be okay.
just...
i wish i even get the right moment to say all these to you instead of typing it out like this idiot that i am.

for a moment there i thought i am starting to grow out of this. i thought i am starting not to care.. but somehow, something just pulled me back in, and made me realize that i couldn't stop caring.. at least not for now. if you ask me, i still can't decide if i really want to stay out of it. with this kind of confusion, it seems like the best way.. but i don't have the will to turn away. i don't want to.
but...
there's always a but.
if you tell me to turn away, i probably would. might not be immediately, but i really would.

One Night by The Corrs

Long day and I'm ready, I'm waiting for your call
'Cos I've made up my mind
My heart aches with a hunger and the want that you were mine
No I cannot deny
So for one night - is it alright
That I give you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - my love
For one night - one night - one night

When morning awakes me
Well I know I'll be alone
And I feel I'll be fine
So don't you worry about me
I'm not empty on my own
For inside I'm alive
That for one night - it was so right
That I gave you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - I loved
For one night - one night - one night

For one night - it was so right
That I gave you
My heart - my love - my heart
Just for one night
My body - my soul
Just for one night
My love - my love
For one night - we love - one night - one night
One night