"thanks for the sex."

ekkeke. that was such a twisted line.
twisted!!

the night turned out to be quite cool lah!
so i was picked up around 6:15, crammed myself between mama and papa at the back seat of the car, and dozed off for quite sometime somehow. (seems like i've been doing too much of that lah lately! ekekkeke!) waking up at the right moment of break-fast, (papa and nina already bought rations earlier) and realize how i'm still treated like a kid; papa let me be the first one to the drink. ekekkeke! so there we were, in the car, almost at the center of the town, eating rotiboy, kuih lapis and other 15-seconds-of-fame-in-ramadhan kuihs, :D as we pondered why seremban roads are still packed with cars.
you see, in shah alam.. by 6:50.. (during ramadhan lah!) every major roads would be practically empty! it's probably even safe to sit right on the road. heehee. well, most probably 'coz shah alam is really just HOUSES and everyone's already inside getting prepared for break-fast. :)

arrived in nina's place, being greeted by the birthday girl, who sat right at the doorway looking confused. ekekke! so we had a proper dinner, sang izzati that traditional birthday song (though she'd surely don't understand - but grinned her two front teeth anyways) and simply lie around. me and nina got to work on that puzzle a bit as well. hehhe! cam addicted to get it done! :)

got back here again around 11, and fussed about my darned computer which somehow wasn't connected to the internet as the other computers!! frustrating indeed.
then lily said she was going out to become a cetti so i had to come along! :D saw majin in hb1 and somehow he got into the car and followed us home. (not before stopping by dar and fakhrul's house first)

so there we were.. in front of the telly.. watching sex and the city with illia (housemate. hope i spelled her right!) ekekkeke, with the occasional rosie and lily who made spaghetti too! ekekkeke!

so it's five o'clock, and i better start figuring out what the heck i'm supposed to do for later today's resubmission for that philosophy essay.. sheesh~!

words are just words, dear.

haven't had the same kind of ache like today for a while..
and i never liked the feeling, so please.

i suppose i had too much unimportant things caught up in my head that i forgot what today is..
EPPY BIRTHDAY IZZATI~!!!
one whole year! heehee~!

so i'll be off to nina's place to celebrate budak kecik ngade!!

it's what i can't say, dear.

tonight.

*yawn*

super sleepy somehow. so here's the familiar people i saw tonight:
ablen (hehhe!), hafiz, mimi (right?), lina teoh (who looked horrible without make up!), this one mmu guy i've already forgotten the name, abang amir (who waved from across that big circle of 3rd floor in midvalley), dar, fakhrul and mas of AF2 (which looked surprisingly pleasant in person!)

fate is playing games with me.
stop it, fate!

Fields Of Innocence by Evanescence

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Oh where, where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

dah. gudnite world~!

how do you tame a centaur, dear?

that angst is building up again.

i'm proud.. and stubborn.
i'm hating the person i'm becoming, but i can hate you even more.

go away. give up. whatever.
just leave me alone now.
for a moment.
at least.

the world is black, dear.

remind me how much i adore good charlotte!! :P
klakar.. slalu download lagu banyak banyak, tapi end up listening to the same old songs!
this is one of the very few cute songs i absolutely LOVE! (hear hear!)

The World Is Black by Good Charlotte

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day and
No one really knows why this is happening
But it's happening
And everywhere you go it's just a different place
You get the same dark feeling
See the same sad faces
No one really cares that this is happening

We come into this world
And we all are the same
In that moment there's no one to blame

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen

Living in this place it's always been this way
There's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed
And I can't live when this world just keeps dying
It's dying
People always tell me this is part of the plan
That God's got everybody in his hands
But I can only pray that God is listening
Is he listening?

We're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

We come into this world
And we all are the same
And in that moment there's no one to blame
But we're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

The world is black
And hearts are cold
There's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
(We can't go back)
It won't be the same
(It won't be the same)
Forever changed
(What will ever change)
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day
And no one really knows why this is happening

class today took such a long time!! we (ara, yoges, lini and myself) weren't able to complete the task by 6:20 and by that time, we're already itching in our sits to go out and prepare for break-fast! hehhe!
and farizu told us to get something and get back to the lab.. break-fast with most of the peeps, watching SIN CHAN THE MOVIE! ahhahaha!! tak tahann.. he was practically promoting it, so we just HAVE to laugh at it.
so i had break-fast at chicken rice shop in alamanda. habes!! woo~hoo! tak membazir, bagus! :D so, tengkiuk incik ablen!

kepala tengah pusing pusing.
help, i need to yap!

i'm never ready, dear.

had quite a good weekend.
so good that i'm actually putting my future in danger. hohoho!
gile.

anyways, weekend!!
can't exactly remember what i did for the last three days.. except for the dreams i had! huhuu.

but i DID - me and family, that is - went to see nina in seremban. it's been FIVE weeks since i last saw izzati and she's got her two front teeth!!! totemo kawaii!!!!!!! ekkeke!! but she's having a bit of a fever, so cam tak best sangat main ngan dia. she keeps on merengek merengek, and i don't exactly speak baby-tongue so i just don't know what she wants!
pastu buka pizza!! HO-HO-HO!
and nina's tummy is getting more obvious.. but she's still the nina i know. :D haihhh~! and we both spent some time doing this pretty big puzzle of 101 Dalmatians while dida nags at our sides until papa shouted it's time to head home. huhuuu. tak best!!

okie! dah tatau nak tulis ape dah.
hope today will be just as wonderful as yesterday.. :D

Only One by Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

love this song!!
especially when he really shouts! hahhaha!

ps to a girl i wish not to know: TOLONGLAAAHHHH!!!!

matter of fact.

1. some things are better left unsaid.
2. i lie sometimes; when i'm scared or i just want to dodge the topic.
3. gotta stop putting on hold of things!
4. haven't done that handphone assignment that's supposedly be submitted on mondayy!!

5. i have nothing else to say simply because.. some things ARE better left unsaid!

Blinded by Third Eye Blind

Just an old friend coming over
Now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in
Though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done
And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I wanna stay right here
And go down on you for an hour
And stay and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication
Take the moment of hope
And let it run
And never look back
At all the damage we have done now
To each other
To each other
To each other

But when I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
and still I see you

I never believe that things that they happen for a reason
And they never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned
But you're past where you understand
Now her appetite is blown
Little else is known
'Cept she's a little angry
Grabs a towel, looks away
The heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say
oh something clean, let me be clever
Hey oh well, whatever
But that's not what I mean
Where we've been has left us burnt still
I wont turn now from a fight
You know I'll never win

So when I see you
you know all the things I've done
and I am blinded
Like I'm staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
Yeah!

Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you
Icarus is not a t-shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and
It's not easy being me
When I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe
That we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden
We have stolen manners in the days when we were one

So when I see you
In spite of all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
Well I'm still staring down the sun
I'm blinded when I see you

hanging by a moment.

see..
the good thing about the bad things in life is how it makes you appreciate more of the better things.

i suppose life teaches us.
i question about so many things and i'm getting the answers to it one by one.
and i still have a lot to be thankful for right now though things keep going downhill these days. :)

i think i've had too much of revising my past that it feels weird now to think how much it has changed.
what ever it is, i hope that even when i can't get back up after falling too much to the ground.. i could still believe. i wish to believe for the rest of my life..

unconcious mutterings:
(lamanye tak buat)

Dimension:: mechanical desktop
Roger:: walkie-talkie
CSI:: that lab guy
Passenger:: bus
Thankful:: you
Has-been:: something
Bambino:: bimbo
Wrinkles:: face
Cable TV:: astro
Voicemail:: beep!

"Try to reason about love , and you will lose your reason to love." -(some French proverb)
that was what i meant to say.

clueless.

you know the feeling when things got horrible and you said to yourself, "things can't possibly go worse," but it DID and now you don't know what else you can say to yourself?
heehee. i think i am having that feeling, but i'm not stressing.
i'm surprisingly relaxed, to be quite honest.. and that's weird! ekkekeke!

anyways.. in liking of this song!!
speaks a bit of me for the time being. :)

Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan

I love the time and in between
the calm inside me
in the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
distance I have wandered
to touch upon the years of
reaching out and reaching in
holding out holding in

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as I can be
left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
passing through like liquid
I'm drunk in my desire
but I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near
I believe

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

The quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
to live my life the way I feel is right for me
might not be right for you but it's right for me

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
if I choose to
would you understand it
would you try to understand

btw, tengkiuk fariz, dar and azrin for letting me tag along!
heyy fariz, i finally get to ride your car lahh! :P

still sleepy laa, but i have class at 2!

papalapalapaa.

monday.
the start of a new week.
the end of weekends.
the end of lying around, asking people to get me anything.
ahhahahaha!!

:|
just why i dislike monday than the rest of the days in the week.

and so it's tuesday. just tuesday..
spent the night with 3 guys just now!
watched bourne supremacy with dar, ablen and ablen's friend; hafiz. (is it?) ekkeke! i actually didn't catch his name. :P

mengantuk laa already. while in the car i thought of some things i want to do in life;

1. walk through the Louvre
2. get onto a hot air balloon
3. get back my thumbdrive from dar!! (berikannya padakuuu~!)

heehee! there's more of course! but i haven't figured it out. :D
anyways, liking this simple song;
Don't I Hold You by Wheat

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
And don't I treat you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
Don't I please you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

We waste too much time

Don't I?
Don't I hold you like you want?

gudnite everyone~!

o yeah.. honesty is the best policy! :P
thanks friend for making me feel as comfortable as i possibly can with you. :) you know you wouldn't really have to wait for days to tell me that :P thanks. again! :D

sungguh kurang sopan.

kerna satu email yang sungguh menyentuh hati.
grrr!!

remind me to jentik someone when i see him for getting me a headache.

he sends email > i read it > i cried > head aches!

grr!! X(
bencikk!

monday is a... dislikable day!

it iss!!
for starters, no one bothered to wake me up for sahur this morning 'coz they all thought i wouldn't be fasting today, though i said i would! grrr! sampai ati!
and now, at 11:26 AM, i'm already HUNGRY!!
betul betul tak pose karaang, baru tahu!

and mama.. (hahhaa! seperti biase) always ticks me off one way or another. grrr!
i'm such a bad daughter, i knowww.. but i can't help at being angry for even measly things, and yes, my temper wouldn't care even if it's my mother. hmmph!!

nina's presence helps though.. :D even for a while.
rindunye sama izzati!
nina might be expecting a baby girl, she said. and i like the name she proposed if it's really a girl! heehee! :x

and have you ever had too much similarities to someone that it's just possible that you were siblings before separated during birth or something??
ahahhahaha!! merepek.
i am such a pathetic. (actually trying to make myself feel better about something)

okay. kinda sleepy really.
kul 2 kene gi model making ke? dahlaa cam nak ujan ni! :-S

hehh geramm!

grrr.

1. no electricity last night all of a sudden, as i was starting my CAD homework.
2. having a problem getting to sleep after a short nap 'coz i can't stand waking up.
3. unappreciated? (at least i feel so)
4. weird dream. weird weirrrd dream. grrr!!
5. still sleepy.
6. have no idea how to do this 4th exercise on this homework!!! cemane nieee???
7. troubled by the idea of 2 assignments to submit next week.
8. still can't figure out how to get this 4th exercise done!
9. esok puase? puase ke?? (ramadhan is getting me nervous somehow..)
10. should get my work done if i wanna go back home this evening, shouldn't i?

11. can't i have my very own jason wade pleaaasee???

Everybody Is Someone by Lifehouse

stumbling I fall away it's hard to make a change
easy to be who you are when no one knows your name
walking past the lonely walls with eyes as cold as stone
climb inside the emptiness it's safe when you're alone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

all this time you lived alone without a memory
built your life upon the ground that sinks beneath your feet
step outside the misery for once you feel alive
second chances only come around once in a life

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

fools at the table

haihh~
now i am regretting for not buying that book of poetry i saw in mph yesterday.
i could remember a few..
but i think it'd be better to express myself in my very own words, thank you. :)

i am feeling like..
riding a heck of a roller coaster ride.
it goes up and down, with such different speed.
sure, the first few rounds gets you all excited and wanting to get on it again so you can feel all the thrill once more.
but after being on it for too many times, it just left you screaming, tired..
and sick.

just so let you know.
i'm caring less and less.. how sad is that?

jeepers~!!

heehee. i still want to smile when i'm reminded of that word..

but first,
ATTENTION, MEN OUT THERE!
if you see one girl over there and you'd like to say hi, please do it subtlely (?) and sit/stand in front of her. talking to a girl from her behind is more like an AMBUSH!

bluerghhh!
had a very weird start of day, yesterday.. but it was awesome as well!
i suppose.. yesterday was.. overwhelming for me. :)

so i went to see dayat in midvalley yesterday.
doing practically nothing except for catching a movie, have lunch, and round and round mindlessly. :P
we saw DODGEBALL which was pretty hilarious! it was a good, entertaining stupid movie. i personally don't like ben stiller that much but he's a riot! cam kerek gile, tak tahann! and the whole cinema was "interactively participating" the movie. everyone "oohed", "aahed" and "ouched" at the right moments. and there's this time when some just clapped their hands!! heck, last time i was with people who clapped to a movie was during the 2nd harry potter and there were mostly kids!
it's a good movie if you want to laugh your head silly. WATCH IT! heehee.


as you can see, dayat's dagu dah pulih! ekekkeke!
ohh, the outing was for celebrating dayat's birthday laa.. wish the other two were around.. :-S

anyways!! seen the new GC video?? ekekkeke!! they all have a new do!! (hair-do, i mean)
i love joel's and billie's!! tapi tak aci laa kan.. i love the two no matter how their hair look! ahhahaha!! but i totally 'dig' joel's. (wait, i only hated his hair in hold on video) :P and suka tengok billie on his guitar!! suka sukaa!
joel sangat comel.. sangat sangat! :P tengoklaaaa..
suka sukaaa!!

Predictable by Good Charlotte

Something isn't right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming, still I don't know why
I let you in

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (so predictable)

So take your empty words
Your broken promises
And all the time you stole
Cause I am done with this

I could give it away, give it away
I'm doing everything I should've
And now I'm making a change
I'm living today
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (so predictable)

Now everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside
Why am I scared?
What am I afraid of?
I don't even know, this story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
Everyone I love, (so predictable)
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna want to know what's wrong with me
And I know what it is (so predictable)
I'm ending this right now

okayy!! enough of celebrity crushes.
mengantuknyeeee!!

it's weird...

and a bit sad.

i guess the night is making me a bit philosophical (?) after writing a certain email to someone.
and currently listening to marcell - firasat. (gosh!)

so as i was listening to this song.. i just felt like walking towards the balcony.
it's been such a long time since i really appreciate a night's sky.
i guess my eyes are just trained to find a star. "the first star i see tonight.." (so i can wish for something childishly and foolishly) heehee.
after a while staring at this single star.. my eyes roam to the rest of the sky, and to my surprise, there was only another star.
just another.

what a waste of space....
such a big sky up there, and only two stars decorated it.
they were separated by such distance, but both had the same amount of light shining from it.

call me sentimental, but i am glad that they're shining with the same shade.
heehee.

okay. now i better get my CAD done so i can joli katak tomorrow! weeeeee~!
find me at midvalley later, yah! :P

screaaaaaaaaaaammmm!!

ekkekeke. ain't this weird??
i am having such a good mood though i am doing practically nothing!!
all's good, and i love how this feels. :)

CAD class was fine! sent some files named yoges_wanie_ara_harristakbest.dwg at the end of class! ekekkeke! awesome! :P
harris.. kamu lupa nak ingatkan wanie sesuatu lagi skali laaa! :P

feeling all excited for tomorrow!! AHAHHAHA!! i know i shouldn't be.. but i just am! :P kikkikiki!
i wonder lah what makes me ME. i suppose the fact that i was born in december plays a role. and that i am the youngest.. of three girls! ekekke!! and yahh, typically me.. blaming at other things but me! ekkekeke!! :P

haihh, sorely missing.
oneechan!!!
will be seeing dayat. ekekkeke! yeyyeyyy~!! *jigs* can't wait 'til kakchik's next holiday!!!
and musz...
yubikiri desu~!!
can't wait can't waitt!!

All That I've Got by The Used

So deep that it didn’t even bleed and caught me,
Off guard
Red handed, now I’m far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I need something else
would someone please just give me?
Hit me and knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside
I still am empty
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)

I guess I remember every glance you shot me
Unharmed, I’m losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn’t even scream "F* me".

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)

It’s all that I’ve got.

So deep that it didn’t even bleed; catch me
So deep that I didn’t even scream "F* me".

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got

psst.. hey you! see if i care :P

i fell in love with my brother.

which is awesome,
'coz i don't have any! ekkekeke!

quite a funny weekend i had. well, not exactly that HA-HA funny, but i really don't know how to describe it! huhuu~
everyone's missing izzati, been 2 weeks since everyone (me, dida, mama and papa) last saw her. ekekke! and me and dida kept singing the songs we usually sing for izzati. (stupid stupid songs dida created, really) haihh. i miss lah that kid!!!!

and i also miss dida 'coz she's been working all weekend. very busy with that shipment of spm paper. (note: she's working for misc) she should be heading to kelantan lah today. ehh, is it?? i think lah! apart from not having her to fight things about, i hate the fact that i had to sleep alone last night. :-S

and this was a note papa left me before he got out for work on the tv screen last friday. ekekkeke.

pandaaiii.. 'coz i'd surely sit in front of the telly! heehee.

and i heard one song that really caught my ears lahh while in the car few days ago, and i am getting myself very tired looking for it!! i think it's an indonesian singer.. and the thing is, i don't even know the name of the song!!! urghhh!! just got a line from the song!! (last time i had this kind of frustration was that time when i was looking for daniel bedingfield's song)

bencikk!!
but heyy.. have a good week people!

ps: kenape tetiba cam most of my favorite bands kuar album baru and i didn't know about it nieee??! grr! X(

angst??

does music heal.. or the other way round?

aren't jimmy eat world the bestt?? (okaylaa.. maybe not literally, but they're GOOD, aren't they??)
well, i've been spending the morning listening to jimmy eat world, and so i've been reminded of how much i actually love their songs! hehhe! :x
this one's from their new album; Futures, though.. :D

Kill by Jimmy Eat World

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I wanna go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting after means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know people can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
Tell me just what has it ever meant?

I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

been thinking about this ever since i saw it somewhere;
what is worse? to know you should have.. or shouldn't have?
heehee :D
anyways, supposedly be going back home today.. yeayy! :P
jya~ byebye!

i know, i knowwwww. shut it, will you?

i'm talking to someone else.

my philosphy lecturer said earlier today,
you can't possibly think of nothing
she said it's impossible to be thinking of anything if you claim to be thinking of nothing. practically, if really you're thinking about nothing, you shouldn't be thinking at all!

(at least that's what i understood from what she said)
heehee!

i guess she's right, though i usually claim that i am thinking of "nothing". my "nothing" are usually "something" that i just couldn't point out aloud. :P

but right now.. i am feeling soo many emotions because i am not feeling anything at all. do you think it makes any sense? ('coz it does to me!)
heehee!

netomat ni bestt lah!! i'm already planning some things i'd like to do next! :D

Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'da believed that you were part of a dream?
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see, I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you...

tengkiu for making me listen to this song! :x
okie. currently bored with nothing interesting to do.

abaikan.. abaikaann~!

ekekkeke!!

sape yang ade tanduk tu ekk? ekekke! :P

i honestly have nothing much to say about today. been doing nothing much. :) but heyy!! check out my NETOMAT!! have a look, have a look!!! and leave something as well lah! just doodle, or write something, okie~! :D

Bagaikan Sakti by Siti Nurhaliza & M Nasir

Cinta datang
Tanpa diundang
Seumur masa tercipta

Dia datang bagai sakti
Bagai menyaksi mekar
Kembang pagi

Cinta datang
Dengan senyuman
Panasnya membakar mentari

Wajah yang tergambar
Tak akan terpudar
Dari hati insan yang fana ini
Fana ini

Tak mungkin mentari
Akan terus sembunyi
Tiada sempadan
Tak bisa kulewati

Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan ragaku
Menantimu walau sengsara
Jika ini ketentuannya

Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan raga
Jika ini ketentuannya
Kaukan jadi milikku jua

funny how chilling it sounds when i listen to it as i read the lyrics. (imagining gusti puteri and hang tuah in puteri gunung ledang) macam.. adeh~!
love this song, anyways!! macam sangat klasik! :x

boyfriends are the bestt~!

ekekkeke. are they not? :P

went to class in the afternoon feeling horrible, knowing what fun i could've had if i didn't have that class with miss what's-her-name. she's... okaay, i know she meant well during those classes but she's really horrible!! huhuuu~
let's just say she's no fun.. and to top it off, she gave us an assignment; a report of somewhat that we're supposed to present tomorrow morning! X(

so then i came back home cyberia, to almost-nothingness. ehhe! the house was practically empty excluding rosie who was preparing to go out. huhuu~!
then i got a message from ablen who's going to get something to eat with dar in alamanda! hoyehhhhh~!! ikuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt~!! :x

maka, dapatlah membuang sedikit masa bersama mereka berdua. tidaklah saye keseorangan.. :D
and then coming back to cyberia, saw shahnon! hehhe! :P

okie! i am waaayyy too sleepy to sit here in front of this pc.
gudnite~! :P

ohh! really love this song though it kept me feeling hollow someway.. huhuu.
One Last Cry by Brian McKnight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie

I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I end my one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
to my last cry

horrible.. HORRIBLE!

sangat lupaaaaaaa~!! terok la wanie ni!!

HEPPI BELATED B'DAY SHAHNONNN!!
on september 29th!! kamu sudah tuaaaaaaa!!

heehee~! and this one i didn't forget, though.. almost! but didn't. :D
EPPI BELATED MAKCIK DAYAT!!
her's was on october 1st!

heehee.
no wonder i've been thinking too much of birthdays lately. :D

i DO know..

tengkiuuuk ablen gile! :D

so we went to see resident evil. met dar, fakhrul with 2 other girls in midvalley. had kfc for dinner, (tak abes!!) and ablen gile tak aci 'coz he only ate that tiny colonel burger! ahahhaha! (lelaki ape kamu ini?!) ekekkeke!
we then watched as dar ate away his nuggets in McD, teman dia pegi toilet.. yahh! SERONOK! ekkeke! :P
they watched the 11:20 show though.. so me and ablen wasted away some 25 minutes before our show. (rabbits are totally cute!!)

RESIDENT EVIL!
i think it was pretty okaaay!! nothing much to tell 'coz my gurlfriends has not yet seen it, so i better not spoil them.
tapi geram sama ablen gile. he's seen it and he kinda laughed when he sees me get surprised! tara guna. but it was neat to have him - who's seen it. 'coz he'd be warning me which part to be 'careful' at. ekkeke!!
domo arigatou ne ablen san~! :P

okay.. so i'm back here in cyberia.. and just finished talking to my goood boyfriend. (he's a boy, he's a friend!) - you know who you are.
thank you for caring! really!!
HUGGSS!! (i'll hug the teddi bear lah!)
i'll try my best, wokeh? :D thankksss!!

just something silly to read:
"When a Sagittarius child is born to a Scorpio parent, they need to give each other enough room to live their own lives, if they want to come together as a family. Their patience will be rewarded by the calm and reassuring relationship that will ensue.Sagittarius thrives on variety, novelty and optimism. Scorpio values the experiences which strengthen the family's emotional ties. Devoted Scorpio may wonder how they can be so different from their free wielding child, while Sagittarius may feel held back by their parent's emotional outbursts and displays. Scorpio mustn't smother or guilt their child, and Sagittarius must look at their parent and realize that they have their best interests at heart. If they make a little room for one another, and keep part of their lives private, this family will get along better in the long run. The best aspect of the Scorpio-Sagittarius family relationship is the security and flexibility they can give each other. They make a compatible team once they learn to look at the world through each other's philosophies. As long as they communicate openly and celebrate their differences, theirs will be a peaceful and loving family."

that's about me and mama there. ekekkeke! funny how it's seldom "peaceful" between us. (we did have yet another useless disagreement last weekend! :P)

okayy! it's SO late don't you think?? and i'm not even doing anything much! should get some sleep, but then again my class is only at 2! plenty of time to sleep later, yah? heehee!
gudmorning!!

a lump in my throat.

what do you know about that?

monday is always a bad day!
it's only good when your sister's around to take you shopping. :D since dida's not around.. i'm back with my philosophy.. MONDAY IS A BAD DAY!
and i really don't know how i got this way (i'm lying!) but i'm in a such crappy crappy mood!! God should forbid me from sitting in front of this computer for too long.. it'd usually make me feeling all too bad about myself. :(
aihhhhh.. curse you!!

this is bad. this is really really bad!!
i wish papa's hug can be carried away so i can have some even when he's not around. huhuuu.
why am i good for nothing except making myself feel horrible?? X( bluerrgthh!

Everybody's Changing by Keane

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cos everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

i guess i'm down.. :(