i am so frustrated.
if i wasn't horrified of pain, i would've jumped off the window legde 2 hours ago.
o mann, i'm so tired of crying!!
and now, how can i face those people i care about??
or so i claimed.
i am a horrible horrible person!!!
i'm a horrible horrible daughter!!
entahlah.
dah takde hati nak bercerita.
i still have a letter to finish. later!
(o yeah, if any of you are thinking how i shouldn't be too depressed, shut it! you don't even know half the things i'm going through!)
thank you.
0comments
you just remind me why i preferred being "invisible" on the first place.
haven't done my studying!!! i just found out how much i actually should read.
anyways, i think the 'couple of days' is over and today i can start sharing my thoughts again!
....
err. let's take a raincheck on that.
anyways, i haven't said anything about my birthday, have i?
it was a fun-ny one. someone actually "gave" me a confession that day and it still makes me laugh when i think about it. thanks loads to rai who called. heehee. really really appreciate it. only then i realize how much i miss talking to that peeve.
thanks to everyone who remembered.
speaking of birthday, today is my teddi bear's! ekekke!
hey you, do you know that the bear already had sort of a name before you gave it to me? the tag said 'Spencer'. heehee. teddi bear is 2 years old today.
click!
haven't done my studying!!! i just found out how much i actually should read.
anyways, i think the 'couple of days' is over and today i can start sharing my thoughts again!
....
err. let's take a raincheck on that.
anyways, i haven't said anything about my birthday, have i?
it was a fun-ny one. someone actually "gave" me a confession that day and it still makes me laugh when i think about it. thanks loads to rai who called. heehee. really really appreciate it. only then i realize how much i miss talking to that peeve.
thanks to everyone who remembered.
speaking of birthday, today is my teddi bear's! ekekke!
hey you, do you know that the bear already had sort of a name before you gave it to me? the tag said 'Spencer'. heehee. teddi bear is 2 years old today.
click!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
just one boring post.
0comments
i shouldn't be sharing my thoughts yet.
but i'm really really bored now.
and i think papa at home is bored as well.
so here i'm posting papa's gedik message just now.
[ HI!!!! LOVE YOU!! ]
okay. so then i replied with something like right here is too boring but i have class on friday and asked, "buat buat takde kelas takpe tak?"
[ NO WAY! YOU HAVE TO ATTEND CLASS. ]
hummph. thought so.
but i'm really really bored now.
and i think papa at home is bored as well.
so here i'm posting papa's gedik message just now.
[ HI!!!! LOVE YOU!! ]
okay. so then i replied with something like right here is too boring but i have class on friday and asked, "buat buat takde kelas takpe tak?"
[ NO WAY! YOU HAVE TO ATTEND CLASS. ]
hummph. thought so.
surprise me.
0comments
it's so hard to get a good surprise these days, don't you think?
today has been a surprisingly good one! i love the cool air.
so i walked off to class early feeling all nervous for my first supplementary paper today. (err.. and a bit angau about something. kikkiki!) while trying to figure out if i messed up really bad a month ago. wanted to get my slip printed at first, but the only printer available was the "too canggih for my undertsanding" one, so i stupidly walked away from the room and went straight to etheatre.
still feeling a bit lame, i kept on reading while the media law lecturer talks on. (o yeah, i did look around) the class ended around 12 and i met up yoges and ara.
as i waited for yoges as she talked to a lecturer, this "guy" sorta sneaked up on me and when i noticed him, he said "badan dah naik eh?"
ekkekeke! so what does that tell you?
is he concerned for my weight or has he been checking me out? hohohokk!
terok la kamu.
anyways, later i head to apple's room and waste some time "reading" before heading for the hall.
the paper made me a bit giggly but i really hate the fact that i couldn't answer this 10-marked question! bluerghhh!
and then at 4:30 the examiners forgot to take our papers. (take notice, there were three of us with the paper at the end of exam, ida munirah - ida hazwanie - hazwani naim. hohhohok! bengong.) anyways, we just hung around talking with sherry even when we heard the examiners talking to themselves that the papers for mid2053 were "lost". ekkeke.
oooh~ my posts are so pleasant when i'm in a good mood.
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
Im just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begin
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
funny enough, Rochelle said this about the week: "From my calculations, Wednesday is going to be your lucky day for this period."
today has been a surprisingly good one! i love the cool air.
so i walked off to class early feeling all nervous for my first supplementary paper today. (err.. and a bit angau about something. kikkiki!) while trying to figure out if i messed up really bad a month ago. wanted to get my slip printed at first, but the only printer available was the "too canggih for my undertsanding" one, so i stupidly walked away from the room and went straight to etheatre.
still feeling a bit lame, i kept on reading while the media law lecturer talks on. (o yeah, i did look around) the class ended around 12 and i met up yoges and ara.
as i waited for yoges as she talked to a lecturer, this "guy" sorta sneaked up on me and when i noticed him, he said "badan dah naik eh?"
ekkekeke! so what does that tell you?
is he concerned for my weight or has he been checking me out? hohohokk!
terok la kamu.
anyways, later i head to apple's room and waste some time "reading" before heading for the hall.
the paper made me a bit giggly but i really hate the fact that i couldn't answer this 10-marked question! bluerghhh!
and then at 4:30 the examiners forgot to take our papers. (take notice, there were three of us with the paper at the end of exam, ida munirah - ida hazwanie - hazwani naim. hohhohok! bengong.) anyways, we just hung around talking with sherry even when we heard the examiners talking to themselves that the papers for mid2053 were "lost". ekkeke.
oooh~ my posts are so pleasant when i'm in a good mood.
Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
Im just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begin
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
funny enough, Rochelle said this about the week: "From my calculations, Wednesday is going to be your lucky day for this period."
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
nervous breakdown.
0comments
actually, what does that term mean? 'coz right now i'm using it because i'm feeling really nervous for tomorrow and the day after that.
i just can't grasp what the heck that's making me this irresponsible!! urghh!! how could i let myself down so horribly???
sometimes i think being a sagittarius is a curse.
"...you can be so enamored of your abstract vision, your view of the whole, your intuitive sense of possibilities and potentials, that you miss what is right in front of you, including the actual work involved in realizing that vision, or perhaps the real people that might be effected."
hmmph! idiot.
anyways, i better get on with my studying.
changed to one lazy layout. other than the nervous breakdown, i'm also having a real designer's block. bluerghh!
ohh! this is the song that i've been crazy about weeks ago. somewhat like a theme song, but not anymore! but i still love the song. i haven't got it on my pc though.. entah mana nak cari. but i've been following the radio long enough to somewhat memorize the song. :D
Aku, Dia dan Kamu by Diva
Betapa bodohnya diriku
Mahu diduakan dirimu
Namun bila hati bicara
Aku sayang padamu
Kau takkan pernah tinggalkannya
Dihatimu cuma dia
Namun tetap kau inginkan ku
Kini apa dayaku
Putuskan dia o kasih
Agar ku tak tersaingi
Sungguh ku benci dirimu yang tak bisa memilih
Namun harus ku akui
Sukar untuk lepaskanmu
Akhirnya aku undur diri demi dia dan kamu..
i just can't grasp what the heck that's making me this irresponsible!! urghh!! how could i let myself down so horribly???
sometimes i think being a sagittarius is a curse.
"...you can be so enamored of your abstract vision, your view of the whole, your intuitive sense of possibilities and potentials, that you miss what is right in front of you, including the actual work involved in realizing that vision, or perhaps the real people that might be effected."
hmmph! idiot.
anyways, i better get on with my studying.
changed to one lazy layout. other than the nervous breakdown, i'm also having a real designer's block. bluerghh!
ohh! this is the song that i've been crazy about weeks ago. somewhat like a theme song, but not anymore! but i still love the song. i haven't got it on my pc though.. entah mana nak cari. but i've been following the radio long enough to somewhat memorize the song. :D
Aku, Dia dan Kamu by Diva
Betapa bodohnya diriku
Mahu diduakan dirimu
Namun bila hati bicara
Aku sayang padamu
Kau takkan pernah tinggalkannya
Dihatimu cuma dia
Namun tetap kau inginkan ku
Kini apa dayaku
Putuskan dia o kasih
Agar ku tak tersaingi
Sungguh ku benci dirimu yang tak bisa memilih
Namun harus ku akui
Sukar untuk lepaskanmu
Akhirnya aku undur diri demi dia dan kamu..
Monday, December 20, 2004
"don't cry"
0comments
almost three years ago someone said that to me, and it made me even more sad and actually cried in public. that's a stupid thing to say for a goodbye.
aren't goodbyes just the worst things to say?
anyways, so after 3 weeks absent from this retched place (hoho!) i'm back again to get my wrong things right. (try la kan)
i didn't cry as i did then, but my insides were spinning.. wishing i was still glued to the television at home. haha!
so the holidays was good. i had a good time doing nothing, somehow.
not exactly nothing.. but i just realize, after my sister's wedding, i really don't mind going to weddings! before that, i used to make up a lot of excuses for not going. even when my mom threatens me stuff, i still chose to stay hungry at home. but eversince 2002, i actually LIKE getting myself headache over the crowd of people i hardly know.
other than that.. i realize how this holiday is one turning point for me. well, not exactly "turning".. it's something like "pointing out" point in my life.
i am feeling what i was feeling when i was coming to 17. this really good feeling for just myself. can't believe i had to wait for 3 years just to get this feeling again. sheesh!
anyways, i was astrologically advised to keep my thoughts to myself this couple of days and i'm having a headache from lack of sleep, and my insides still not feeling good, and kak huda just fried some keropok lekor lahh! wee~!
okay, here's a song i heard from one of my fave tv shows of all time. i think i was being fed with too much of this show that i'm becoming like the main actor of it.. yikes!
Alone Again, Naturally by Vonda Shepard
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about love and His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why does He desert me?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
Seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do, what do we do?
What do we do, what do we do?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
goodbye.
aren't goodbyes just the worst things to say?
anyways, so after 3 weeks absent from this retched place (hoho!) i'm back again to get my wrong things right. (try la kan)
i didn't cry as i did then, but my insides were spinning.. wishing i was still glued to the television at home. haha!
so the holidays was good. i had a good time doing nothing, somehow.
not exactly nothing.. but i just realize, after my sister's wedding, i really don't mind going to weddings! before that, i used to make up a lot of excuses for not going. even when my mom threatens me stuff, i still chose to stay hungry at home. but eversince 2002, i actually LIKE getting myself headache over the crowd of people i hardly know.
other than that.. i realize how this holiday is one turning point for me. well, not exactly "turning".. it's something like "pointing out" point in my life.
i am feeling what i was feeling when i was coming to 17. this really good feeling for just myself. can't believe i had to wait for 3 years just to get this feeling again. sheesh!
anyways, i was astrologically advised to keep my thoughts to myself this couple of days and i'm having a headache from lack of sleep, and my insides still not feeling good, and kak huda just fried some keropok lekor lahh! wee~!
okay, here's a song i heard from one of my fave tv shows of all time. i think i was being fed with too much of this show that i'm becoming like the main actor of it.. yikes!
Alone Again, Naturally by Vonda Shepard
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about love and His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why does He desert me?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
Seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do, what do we do?
What do we do, what do we do?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally
goodbye.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
