"don't cry"

almost three years ago someone said that to me, and it made me even more sad and actually cried in public. that's a stupid thing to say for a goodbye.
aren't goodbyes just the worst things to say?
anyways, so after 3 weeks absent from this retched place (hoho!) i'm back again to get my wrong things right. (try la kan)
i didn't cry as i did then, but my insides were spinning.. wishing i was still glued to the television at home. haha!

so the holidays was good. i had a good time doing nothing, somehow.
not exactly nothing.. but i just realize, after my sister's wedding, i really don't mind going to weddings! before that, i used to make up a lot of excuses for not going. even when my mom threatens me stuff, i still chose to stay hungry at home. but eversince 2002, i actually LIKE getting myself headache over the crowd of people i hardly know.

other than that.. i realize how this holiday is one turning point for me. well, not exactly "turning".. it's something like "pointing out" point in my life.
i am feeling what i was feeling when i was coming to 17. this really good feeling for just myself. can't believe i had to wait for 3 years just to get this feeling again. sheesh!

anyways, i was astrologically advised to keep my thoughts to myself this couple of days and i'm having a headache from lack of sleep, and my insides still not feeling good, and kak huda just fried some keropok lekor lahh! wee~!

okay, here's a song i heard from one of my fave tv shows of all time. i think i was being fed with too much of this show that i'm becoming like the main actor of it.. yikes!
Alone Again, Naturally by Vonda Shepard

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about love and His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why does He desert me?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

Seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do, what do we do?

What do we do, what do we do?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

goodbye.