..feeling rather upset.

just another day when emotions struck silly.

for a moment today, i felt like i was a written character in a book. for some reasons saying goodbye to dida today was hard. *sigh*
probably 'coz weekend was enjoyable. (despite i'm still not talking to papa!) i actually get to talk to mama without having any rage surfacing (an achievement, really) and nina and the girls stayed for the weekend! really exhausting, to have to run around after izzati, but it was fun having them. (farhana included o'course!)

and hanis is already in shah alam!! i even messaged zul to ask about her. hihi! i should be seeing her tomorrow, and i can barely wait!!!

blaaah.
not much in a mood to say anything else. =(
i'm sensing that the rest of the day will be just as depressing.

hey, love!

you do know that i saw you looking at me, don't you?
well, stop it bugger!

d'you know that i practically have a nick for all those people around me when i'm writing the blog? heehee. well, there's the dude, the stranger, the "very dear friend", then there's the buddy, and i thought it wouldn't be wrong to say that there's a love. (though it's a rather weird sort of love, like a love-lost-anddon'twantyouback sort and not the like,like-love, so it doesn't matter much!)
plus, those brits uses "love" for their friends. so this is nowhere near "wrong".

class this morn was pleasant! despite there were just some groupwork presentations, azrin's was entertaining, and i can't stop laughing when i saw him afterwards. well, i didn't stop laughing when fendi told me about harris' new alisee(sp?) hairdo either. to be truth, i can't quite stop laughing! just been hit by the happy mood, i suppose!

even too happy to actually do a bit charm-tease-flirt routine. funny, considering i've been deboysing lately. hahha! i guess old habits just die hard! AHHAHA! *mad laugh* well, that was really an accident.

okay! loving this song though it sounds a bit depressing.
Tak Bisa Memiliki by Dygta

Memang....waktuku tersisa
Untuk selalu di sisi, menjaga hatimu
Aku..kan slalu mencoba,
Berikan yang terbaik
Untuk kau miliki
Tapi maafkan aku
Waktuku hanya sesaat..

Aku tak bisa memiliki
Indahnya cintamu
Walau sesungguhnya hatiku
mencintaimu, memilikimu
Aku tak ingin kau terluka
Mencintai aku...
Hapuslah air matamu
Lupakan aku...

Sungguh di batas hasratku
Hanya ingin kau bahagia, jalani hidupmu
Aku..kan slalu mencoba,
Berikan yang terbaik
Untuk kau miliki
Tapi maafkan aku
Waktuku hanya sesaat..

live, love life!!!!! *cheer cheer!*
(humm.. i might be a bit too cheery, aren't i? o well!) =P

gilok.

okay, so i was bored.

added those little pics that's suppose to say i belong in some fanlisting, but really i'm not. i pretty much just 'stole' those pics! hahahha! well, i'm a fan of course, but i'm certainly not on a list.
just don't feel like getting myself bothered with making my own pics. =)

have a great weekend, world!

turning into an unintentional sleuth, i am.

learn about the harry potter fandom here.

re-reading (for countless of times), looking for clues, read other people's theories and editorials, search for rumors (in case there's any truth behind it), and for more fun.. read some fanfiction! (though i think it's outrageous how some of them turned out to be unneccesarily(sp?) err.. 'sexual')
i mean, as much as i love the pairing of H/Hr, i think anything more than snogging is really unneccesary. bluergh. what a way to ruin the innocent friendship of the 'dreamteam' (that's the three, of course)

anyways, i'm foretelling that i'll be yapping about this for at least a couple more weeks before i get bored of re-telling the things i've found out once i've read every interviews and fictions i can get my hands on. AHAHHAHA!! *mad laugh*

*SPOILER AHEAD!!*
(if you haven't read HP5 and wish to do so anytime soon, i advice you to stop visiting this blog in 2 weeks time, at least! if you don't intend to read it.. well, you don't know what you're missingggg~!)

wanie: nina! i just remembered! dumbledore said that the prophecy could only be handled by whom it referred to! and neville did!! does it have any significance? hoho!
nina: hihi.. you're really obsessed. anyways, isn't it because he has the same birthday as harry? i don't remember but i think he must have an important role, right?

well, neville was born a day before harry did actually. and the prophecy could actually mean either harry or neville, due to their similar descriptions. but voldermort has taken care of that, hasn't he? by 'tagging' harry and all. and the prophecy in that department of mystery has already been recorded as to "dark lord and (?)harry potter", so it doesn't make sense to my head that neville could hold it either! i mean, he should have lost his mind at that moment, shouldn't he? there was that little question mark to the prophecy, but voldermort has already marked harry as his equal!! this doesn't make any sense! unless..
unless neville's going to have to face voldermort too in the next installments. but honestly, neville?? unless fawkes gave another feather for a wand then, it could probably make a bit sense, but ollivander has told harry that it only gave two feathers in the first book!!!

bluerghhh. being a sleuth sux! guess i'll just have to give this a rest until the next book or resolute that rowling made a mistake. after all, she did make some mistakes all through her books that contradicts the other books! *sigh* that could just be it..
being a sleuth sux! bluerghhh.
(it doesn't hurt to go to dictionary.com to find out what sleuth means!)

by the way, if it crossed your mind that i only talk to nina about HP, it's because she's the only one in the family who also reads the book! (god bless her!) papa is uninterested (no matter how me and nina promotes it), mama doesn't care and dida doesn't know what a book is! =)
and i took 45 minutes to type this entry! pathetic.

maybe it's the quiet morning.

had a hearty sleep last night after going to bed early due to tiredom from self. (you know the reason why)
and this morning i continued on with my reading of useless matters and one really stung my heart. hahha! it's amazing what 'writers' can do to you. even these amateurs could produce something that really caught you. o well, me being an emotional git could've helped a bit.

i have to say, this week has been quite an emotional week! twice have i shed and they're both from really silly reasons.

anyways, have you ever felt like some days, things just seem to dawn on you? something like, all the questions you've had seemed to be answered. for a moment of your life, you feel like turning all philosophical and smart.
i'm having that now, though i'm not really sure it's making me any happier.

somewhere out there is something real i should be doing, and i swear i'm going to find it! not a moment in my life have i forgotten. one day. =)

busy busy bee!

(as if!)
it was a rather busy morning, though..
but then i skipped the only two classes i have today and practically did nothing else after i got my report done. horrible really. since i've already skipped yesterday's class. so here's a self reminder, stop procrastinating, git!!
hope i'll remember that one the next time i get an assignment.

today i did the worst thing a git like me could do. so last night i kept babbling about HP right, and what did i do today?
read fanfictions!!!
hahhahah!! honestly. i can't wait 'til the time i get bored of talking about HP over here, again and again. heee~

and i saw ella enchanted which was enjoyable!! anne hathaway is simply gorgeous, and the prince guy is highly likeable! hohohoho! and now i'm humming to the song at the end of the film. (a rather cheery song than the ones i've been posting lately, isn't it?) lagu comel!

Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Anne Hathaway & Jesse Mcartney

Don't go breakin' my heart
I couldn't if I tried
Oh honey if I get restless
Baby you're not that kind

Oooh, nobody knows it
And nobody knows it
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Oh baby, you know
I gave you my heart

so don't go breakin' my heart
wont go breakin' your heart
Oooh don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my heart

And nobody told us
'Coz nobody showed us
Ya know baby its up to us now
Oooo I think we can make it

Oooo, and nobody knows it
(Nobody knows it)
Right from the start
I gave you my heart
Oh baby, you know
I gave you my heart
Don't go breakin' my heart
I wont go breakin' your heart
Don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my heart

You put the sparks of flame
I got your heart at my side
Ooooo, and nobody knows it
(And nobody knows it)
And when I was down
I was your clown
right from the start
I gave you my heart
Oooo, baby
I gave you my heart
(Don't, don't, don't, don't go breakin')
I won't go breakin'

Don't go breakin' my heart
I will never
I wont go breakin' your heart
Oooo don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my heart
Don't go breakin' my heart
I won't go breakin' your heart
Ooo don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my
Don't go breakin' my heart

dear world,

please stop bursting my happy bubbles.

i tried not to care but once i've even bothered to know about such things, i just couldn't stop! and now i am more ever hoping that it will slide to my preference. i'm crazy about it!! but it's not really in my hands, is it? other people's relationship isn't really my business, is it? especially when they're made-up characters by rowling! AHHAHAHAHHA!! *mad laugh*

wanie: nina, do you think hermione is best with ron? i mean, if you do.. then who'll be with harry? rowling already said he's going to have a love interest. if it's ginny, they didn't really connect, did they? ron obviously has feelings for hermione, and harry isn't being friendly with anybody else!
nina: hermione seems a bit too strong while ron is being whimpy, and she cares for harry more like a bro. maybe there'll be a new character? just wait and see. ron has feelings for hermione 'cause he doesn't really know any other girls! hahha!

those were actually a summary of the smses i sent nina during a rather 'hard' hour, just a bit ago. hohho! i know i knoowww.. this is totally irrelevant to the "case studies for postal-ruled internet-related contracts"! but it's just hard to get your work done when your thoughts keep reverting to 'shippings'! it's making me nutsss!!! and i know it could probably irritate nina a bit, reading from her original use of words.. huhuu.

so here's a confession. i'm really fussing about the H/Hr shipping. (that's the relationship-ing of Harry and Hermione!) i mean, i've been reading some 'editorials' and stuff from those who thinks as i do, but when i read the ones from R/Hr shippers (Ron/Hermione, people!) a little bubble inside just gets pricked with a pin. i hate that, really.
okay, if you've read the book, ron pretty obviously likes hermione, and i have to say it's kinda cute in some way even with them both bellowing at each other every so often, but somehow i'd really like it if hermione ends up with harry anyways! there's something about 'fiesty' people that just attracts, but harry's dark hair could probably be why i prefers him! hohhohok! maybe luna can get with ron. she did find him funny! and neville seemed to fancy ginny, so that settles it! AHHAHAHHA!! *mad laugh*

and rowling's quotes keeps me bothered!
In Book IV Harry does decide he likes a girl, but it's not Hermione or Ginny. However, he's only 14, so there's plenty of time for him to change his mind. but of course, Harry's been smitten by Cho since book III. Harry and Hermione…d’you really think they’re suited? grr. or when asked; "Will Harry ever notice the long-suffering Ginny Weasley?" - You'll see... poor Ginny, eh? and "Was something going on between Ron and Hermione?" - Yes, something's "going on," but Ron doesn't realize it yet.
grr. HONESTLY WOMAN!

bluerrghh. i hate waiting.
gonna look for more 'editorials' now, just so i have more bubbles if they were to be burst later.
o yahh, i do love that avatar i found on some discussion board though. hihi! emma and rupert's looking funny. (the fact emma comel pon membantu lah kan!) =P

one of these days..

one of these days, i ought to get:
1. anorexia
2. heat-stroke
3. asthma

honestly, if you find any other person who can get bored with food as i do, ask them to contact me. we might just create a club of some kind.
and the weather these days are really HOT, doesn't it? (might be a grammar mistake here) i mean.. i can only half blame myself for seeking comfort under the fan when i ought to do some useful research or anything relevant to my assignments.
oh by the way, a big THANK YOUUUU to abang adi for helping me on my maya assignment. i could only sent it after his help. domo arigatou~! but due to my sloth cpu, i could only get out from the house a quarter before 5, which of course, leads me to run towards my tutor's room! hohoho. mau mati akhirnye.. arriving at her front door just 3 minutes before 5. hahhaha! (i couldn't run all the way, my lungs felt like jumping out from the rib cage, so i had to walk as fast as i could - that is until my leg felt like it's been stretched to a point where it almost rip.) yes, yes.. haven't done much of exercise and that's why i'm having so much health related troubles lately..
lalalaaa~

okay. really really tired now.
off to the sofa i go, to read my HP#5 for the... humm.. 3rd time (from start to end) since i got it. =)

blimey.

rather fascinated by those british slang these days. =) i think they all sound good and gives a rather pleasant feeling in the mouth when said. hihi. i know that's weird, but i like anyways! =P

i had a quite depressing weekend, to be truth.
but since i've had too many depressing situations to practice on, last weekend was not enough to get me anywhere near suicidal. other than being cursed at, my father told me not to talk to him for the 3rd time in my life, probably. (which is really not a problem since the last two times he said that, i wasn't really the one who talked first with him.) but nevertheless, it got me evenmore angry. honestly, he never never learn that being 'smart' with his egoistic last child wouldn't bring him any good.
hehe. pardon me for bad mouthing my father over here. i'm just bitter from his outrageousness. if i told here what he really did, i'm sure you'd think just as same. but right now, better it be with you thinking that "maybe wanie was on the wrong side".

and right now, on a quiet monday i'm already here in cyberia 'coz i should be doing my maya assignment. but honestly, all i've been doing is type this entry out and look on to mugglenet! hahha!
maybe the lightheadedness isn't doing any help either. a now-stranger/distant friend just messaged me after.. 2 months. another month wouldn't really matter to me, but i should say that this pretty much amuses me.

okay. better get something done before it's too late!
i really shouldn't waste too much time fooling around. =)

hey mystery man!

i love yesternight!
what's not to love? it was raining and i was even able to sleep over the chattering people! though it was hard to wake up in the morning for class. heh!

i had a rather weird dream last night. well, i don't know what's it called but 'dream' would probably it.
i was feeling all groggy while on the sofa and i must have dozed off for a second when there was an image of some guy, a real stranger! hihi. i haven't had a stranger in my dream for a while now so it's pretty surprising. it was just a flash of him, and then i opened my eyes. sebab terkejut kot! hohhohok!
anyways, if ever i find that guy in real life.. that'd be freaaky!

let see.. i have nothing much to say really. so, have a nice day people!
and a great weekend too! =)

(aren't i just pleasant when i'm not in a bad mood? hihi)

ohh!
ps: my ringtone serves it purposes and made some people laughed today!
and i also take back about wanting him to die.. (only understandable if applicable) (ohh! and please. the 'him' i'm talking about is not the him i used to talk about some while ago. this is definitely a different 'him'. just so you know that any guessing wouldn't help if you weren't around when i first said about wanting 'him' die. i shiver to think that some of you would've guessed him.)

promise to self:

never make another promise to self again.

dis·trac·tion (dis-'trak-sh&n)
1. A condition or state of mind in which the attention is diverted from an original focus or interest.
2. Separation of bony fragments or joint surfaces of a limb by extension

spent four hours being weakly distracted by every little things. supposed to get my report done around noon but i kept surfing on other things but the matter related to the report. finally emailed it to a friend at 2:30 and now waiting for him to get back to me on it and say how irritated he was by my poor writing skills and sense of judgement.

ob·sess (ob-ses)
To preoccupy the mind of excessively

say thanks to the person who started using that word to describe me. and the other who spreads it. heh! (this line is intended for sarcasm)
funny, what choice of words people actually used to describe you. (in my case, it was a "very dear friend". heh!) but thanks to them, now this word is pretty much nailed to my brain and i can assure you that you'll be seeing more of this word being used around this blog.

pas·sion·ate (pa-sh-n&t)
1. Capable of, having, or dominated by powerful emotions
2. Wrathful by temperament; choleric.
3. Marked by strong sexual desire; amorous or lustful.
4. Showing or expressing strong emotion; ardent
5. Arising from or marked by passion

i suppose this word describes me better. at least it doesn't make me strongly related to 'crazy'.
and currently i have the passion for potter. (err.. this context is best understood if you refer to the first or fourth meaning to the word instead of the third. yikes!) you just got to love rowling's site and mugglenet! (if you're a potter fan, o'course!)

i promised myself yesterday that i will spend the whole today finishing my assignments, but all i want to do right now is read my HP#4 book on the sofa right under the fan.
and i'll do that too! ..just hope that my conscience will kick in around 8pm at least. it'd be useless if i end up sleeping without getting anything done by tomorrow.

anyways! been looping this song whole morning 'coz i just got it in mp3 yesterday. really love misha's songs. they're really.. sad and her voice just goes well with sad songs. hihi. i'm not too sure if that sounds like a compliment, but i do love her songs!

Dedebu Cinta by Misha Omar

Di wajah curiga dan nada resah
Di rasa berbeza terima segala
Tika terlafaz kata saat kita bersua
dalam berbicara

Mendung berlabuh dan terbuku di hati sayu
Bertabur dan berlalu
O debu debunya pilu pergilah bersama rinduku
Tinggal lah cintaku yang luka semula

Tiada ku duga akhirnya cinta
Di dalam senyuman dikau hancurkan
Impian yang tertera nyata satu persenda
merantai dijiwa

Mendung berlabuh dan terbuku di hati sayu
Bertabur dan berlalu
O debu debunya pilu pergilah bersama rinduku
Tinggal lah cintaku yang luka semula

Kini kau tinggalkan diriku ini
Terbanglah, pergilah debu debunya cinta

Di hati sayu
Bertabur dan berlalu
O debu debunya pilu pergilah bersama rinduku
Tinggal lah cintaku yang luka

have a gud day, people!
oh, and a happy birthday for emerson, the founder of mugglenet! =)
**meanings for words "featured" were referred(sp?) at dictionary.com**

S.O.S

if you know me well enough, you'd know how i hate asking for help, but this time will be an exception.bloomsbury post this photo on their site on v-day, and i do believe this is a hinting that there'll be a love interest for harry in the next book, harry potter and the half blood prince!! rowling did say, and i quote, "what's life without a little bit of romance?" when asked if harry's going to get a new love interest by the end of the 7 books.

so what do you think? what can you make out from the shadow??
i know i'm getting obsessed with this 'coz i've been staring at the screen for a long period of time!

urghhh!! i'm biting my nails from all this tension and anticipation! it's really happening again, just as it was 2 years ago.
COME ON JULY 16TH!!!!!
penantian adalah satu kecelakaan!
hahha! i know it shouldn't be replaced to a curse word, but i'm pissed! i hate waitiinggggg!!!!! tak guneeeeee!!!!

CEPATLAH JULY!!!

vs.

hihi.
it's a funny day to actually blog about feelings but i'm doing it anyways.

so during the break, i watched my nihon-go talking cardcaptor sakura CDs (without the translation, mind you.. i couldn't really get what they're saying if i hadn't got a printed out book of the transcripts. heh!) and it reminds me how much i like.. no. like liiike syaoran!
and then it sort of hit me.. how similar shaoran and kyou actually are! hihi. and that kinda said to me that those similarities could probably be the thing i'm looking for (if i am looking) in a guy. hihi! suki!!

but if i were to choose between the two, i would pick Shaoran lah 'cause i like him first and he's just as awesome and he wouldn't turn into a juunishi if i hug him! hihi! though it doesn't mean that i like kyou any less. ngeeee~
(nina's voice inside head: "benda camni takleh tamak")

and did you know that there were four people who worked for the voices on both cardcaptor and fruits basket? hihi. the person who did the voice for yuki-kun (Hisakawa Aya) was also the voice for kero-chan! kikiki. macam sesuai bila fikir kero dengan tikus. but what started me to search for the people behind the voices was when i realize how similar it was touya's voice and kyou's! and it turned out that they were the voice of a same person (Seki Tomokazu). heee~

by the way, i am bored. can you tell?

morning morning!

feeling kinda chirpy, i can't quite figure out why.
but that should be good, right?

i was reading through yukira's blog (nak laguuu!) and it got me thinking. i call her "kak yan", and i call abang adi, "ABANG adi". and shahnon is just the same age as they are, but why haven't i called him "abang shahnon" or "abang non" ekk? hohhohok!

been a while since i last post a lyric, and this song kinda matched the layout don't you think? hihi.

I Must Not Chase The Boys by Play

Won't someone tell me what is happening to me
Why am I so misunderstood
Why can't they see?
Now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
that I used to be

They say I'll understand it all in good time
But age ain't nothin' but a number in my mind
Goin' crazy with this push me pull me
Caught between wrong and right

I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I've got no choice
I must not chase the boys

I started writing down my deepest secrets
Seven days a week of truth and fantasy
Got the feelin' that the way my life has
got to be prepared for changes

won't someone tell me what is happening to me
why am i so misunderstood
why can't they see?
now I'm caught between the devil and the angel
that i used to be

I wanna give in to the woman in me
I wanna be someone they don't want me to be
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase
I wanna go left but they tell me go right
Don't wanna be the little girl they're kissin' goodnight
The moral of the story is I got no choice
I must not chase the boys

they can try to make me write a thousand lies
but that won't ever change the way I feel inside
they've got their opinions but I just don't care
Cause that's not what I wanna hear

i, i must, i must not chase the boys
I, i must, i must not chase the boys
i must, i must, i must not.. .chase.. the boys

gotta take my shower now!
have a gud day people!! =)

dig me up a hole. please.

been out for the last 16 hours, so pardon me if some words are missing or just doesn't make sense.

i'll start off with yesterday morning.. kept waking up to the alarm 'coz i'm SUPPOSED to get some report done LAST MONDAY! (messing up priorities AGAIN!) i should pass with flying colors if there's a subject such as "MSP - Messed-up Student who cant's Prioritize"
anyways, my pc wouldn't turn on so i went back to another dose of restless sleep 'til 7:30 when i decided to pack up my stuff to get back to school. (yes, i'm using the word SCHOOL for my uni. deal with it!)

so i endured about two hours of one boring lecture and somehow i managed to persuade cik ila to come along with me to catch a movie! heh! (being a sagi is a curse and a gift!) by the time we got there we were horribly hungry though, so we decided to eat something while we're in the cinema. (gara gara nak kejar Gema '05) as usual, at the end of the day i surprised myself by realizing that i've spent rm30! sigh~

feeling all uncomfy (no change of clothes) i went to Gema somewhere around 8 and only got out from the super hot hall when it finished at half past midnight. then, just my luck, i came upon amalina, amalia, hasina and laily and they brought me along for late dinner and gave me a lift back cyberia. awesome! thanks fellas! (and i'm being the typical idiot, still can't quite tell which is amalina, which is amalia. pathetic!)

but what got me tired was not really the 16hours of.. labour, if you let me call it that. but it was really the 16hours of thoughts in my head.
for one, i am somehow getting spooked by the thoughts of ghosts again and it SUX! and i'm trying not to talk about what i think of 'coz people would just say how silly i am. i am silly and yet people keeps telling me what i already know when all i really need is some HELP! sigh~
and then yesterday afternoon cik ila asked me one question that brought back the stupid/embarassing period of my life. sigh~
the thing about me and feelings, i'm stupid enough to let them out but still trying hard to deny them. idiot, i know. and everytime that happens, someone would always be around to remind me about those idiotic moments. and though i am over it, some people might have not and that bugs me. bugs me all the time.

you could probably say that i'm obsessed with my past-faults. suppose i'm afraid that i couldn't change or if i did.. people wouldn't notice it. even worse, people would simply tag me with what i was and refuse to see what i am..
sigh~
and someone has just dedicated me a song that happens to be one of my favorites! so happens that this person will be performing it this wednesday. i guess it would've been sweet if i had cared. sorry dude.

g'nite world.

deboysing.

hihi.
they are a bit funny though aren't they?
even strangers at the side of the road can be funny sometimes.
so i suppose even when i'm deboysing, i've decided to keep the funny ones!
i'm gonna keep them up to the point when they start acting funny. when that happens.. well, that will be decided IF it happens. heh.

today i notice the existence of one cute lookin' guy. but he didn't make any jokes nor did he say anything to me.
but that's most probably 'coz i've been sort of ignoring him. hihi! (don't i always?)
by the way, that pic at the side there is not the guy i mentioned above. that's my second favorite japanese person, kusano masamune, after takuya kimura. kikkiki! he has this.. intoxicating voice that i absolutely LOVE!!! it's like.. when i heard him, i feel the need to hug him! ekkeke. i know, that's a lousy example but it's how strongly i feel about his awesome awesome voice! hohhohok! and what's more, he was born in december!!! december people are just GREAT!! weee~!

okay.. weekend is around the corner and next week it's MID-SEMESTER BREAKK!! woohoo~!
happy chinese new year to those who celebrates it!
i'm gonna try to catch up some movies during the break! - that is if my parents let me to go off alone lah, since dida is usually too busy for some quality time with her sister! (hah!) i'm only entitled to my singlehood freedom when no one else is watching over. huhu.

liking the new layout!! 'coz it's red and orange! hihi. and those stick figures too! that was originally inspired from one of the episodes in fruits basket hihi!
kyon-kun!! daisukida yo! yuki-kun mo!
sudah gilok.
anyways, i think it's amazing how that simple anime can trigger so much emotion.. 'coz up 'til yesterday, the last three episodes never fail to make me cry. huhuu. sangat sentimental!

okay people, enjoy your day yahh!

super sleepy!

gatal nak tuka layout before cuti.
plus, i had too much time not studying for the test in the morn. hohhohok!
*gedishh*

gudnite world~!
(somehow i've gotten light-hearted since the last entry..)

a place where you belong.

feels like crying.
ha-ha.

today is the stupidest day for my existence. wish i could say today was a big blur, but it's not. i remember today exactly.
today, is absolutely NOTHING! nothing for anything!! NOTHING!!
just 24 hours of waste!
waste waste waste!!!!!!
everything just doesn't feel right.
idiot idiot idiot!!!

i hate myself today.
i hate my life today.
it's so frustrating!!!!
sometimes i wish i'd get shot in the arm or something. just so there'll be some excitement in my life.

there ought to be more to life than this. GOD!

i HAVE to post this. kikkiki

You are independent and don't need a guy yet.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to?
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You are the one who hates to hate but hates to love. You can't decide at all! You have a switching mind and just can't make up your mind. You like someone but then someone else comes and you think they are ugly the next day.

How much do you love?
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onigiri!

after more than a year since the first time i saw it, i'm still touched when i saw fruits basket again. even the song gets me.
tohru.. tohru.. your naive-ness is so endearing lah!

For Fruits Basket by Ritsuko Okazaki

Totemo ureshikatta yo, kimi ga warai kakede ta
Subete o tokasu hou emi de
Haru wa mada tookute, tsumetai tsuchi no naka de
Me fuku toki o matte ta'n da

Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Kinou no kizu o nokoshite ite mo
Shinjitai kokoro hodo ite yukere to
Umare kawaru koto wa dekinai yo
Dakedo kawatte wa ikeru kara
Let's stay together itsumo

Boku dake ni waratte, sono yubi de nee sawatte
Nozomi bakari ga hateshinaku
Yasashiku shitai yo, mou kuyanu you ni
Nageki no umi mo koete ikou

Tatoe kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage daseta nara
Koko ni ikiteru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobi o shiru
Let's stay together itsumo

Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage daseta nara
Koko ni ikiteru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobi o shiru
Let's stay together itsumo

just a note : the lady who wrote/performed this song actually passed away May last year after having a sepsis shock. (some bacterial infection in the bloodstream) Thank you for a beautiful song Okazaki-san!

I was so happy, you were laughing
With a smile that melts everything away
Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth,
Waiting for the time to sprout

For instance, even if today is painful
And yesterday's wounds remain
I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on
I cannot be reborn
But I can change as I go on, so
Let's stay together always

Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

homesick.

it feels something like it. i'm just too darn bored at this place and it gets me SO ANGRY and FRUSTRATED!!
i am frustrated for the fact that i did my work so slow that i only manage to get it done at 4, and when i got to the tutor's room, i realize that i stupidly left my sketch on my desk and now i can only pray that she'd accept my sketch tomorrow or she wouldn't even mark my work! (not that it's going to get exellent marks or anything like it,) but i will be really REALLY pissed if it turns out tomorrow that i've wasted my entire today on something i don't remotely like. [scream here]

if only i managed to get my work done by 1pm. i would've jumped on a bus and could be lying in front of the tv with the comfort of home right now. [scream here, again]
and the fact that papa is at home with no one else really bugs me. (dida will be back from labuan tomorrow evening, while mama have been in puteri pan pac for work since sunday) i really hate the thought. just HATE IT!!!! what's worse is that our phone's access has expired so i can't call him and vice versa. I HATE!!! it gets me worried sick everytime papa is off alone. I HATE I HATE!!!!
of course he can take care of himself but there's that ugly thought that keeps reminding me how papa is 36 years older than me. I HATE!!

i still think that my parents will live forever. well, logically; not forever.. just, long enough to see me graduate, long enough to live in the house i bought them, long enough to see me get married, long enough to see my children.. just long enough for all that. and everytime reality hits me that they just might not get to see all that makes me all depressed and sad.
what's worse, even though i realize all these things, i'm still not a good daughter to them. haaih~

great. now i'm bored, frustrated and depressed!