I SO want to be Claire.

So full of life. Laughing and smiling all the time. People who seem that way always made me envious. Not that I am disappointed with my life or anything, I am quite happy with mine.. But because it is mine, I know what's on the back of my mind and they're sometimes rather disturbing.
I'd like to stay young and just laugh my troubles away but the fact is I'm aging whether I like it or not.

I'm not bothered by the fact that I am getting old, no. I am bothered by the fact that people will expect that I am older. It's true when they say that you'll miss your teenage years. It's funny to think how much you had wished you were older then, and now you wishes to go back to your younger days. Ironic's the word.

I'd love to say that I am wiser but I know that I'm not. I am still.. Wanie. The Wanie who's pretty stuck with her childish thoughts. The Wanie who thinks that everyone in the world has the very best interest in their mind when they had started something and was unfortunate enough to have started a war instead. The Wanie who still believes in "true love" even though I've been telling everyone that it's completely bollocks.

Do you notice that I've been telling a lot about the things that I want lately?
I want my troubles to be taken care of. I want to stop thinking about money. I want to meet someone who I can talk to. I want a job that I won't call a job.
I want to be as lively as Claire.
Oh, and I don't want to turn out to be a failure, bitter old woman in 10 years.

So who's Claire? Another fictional character of course. Only this time I saw her in a film. Played by Kirsten Dunst.
Look it up if you have to.

Saw the moon tonight. The very first time since I got here! I got a little excited, just couldn't help it. Any sign of spring excites me; like how people are starting to wear lighter clothes and the yellow flowers at the side of the road..
I am SO looking forward to taking pictures without having on the same white jacket on them! ekkekeke!

Had called Muz earlier. I had just needed a chat, but then I realized that I actually missed her! ahhahha!! I don't usually miss people, I don't even miss my parents, it's horrible I know! Anyways, talking to Muz made me realize that I missed yacking continuously, barely even take a breath. heehee! Thanks Muz! And now I shall ask for Hanis' phone number so I can "bother" her next time.

Going to Dordrecht in the morning! By the water taxi! wee~hee! That ought to be fun!
If you ask where or what is Dordrecht, I honestly can't answer that 'cause I'm not too sure myself!! From what Dida told me, Rotterdam is a city (like KL!) and Dordrecht is a town (PJ?). Well, we'll see if it's anything like PJ or not!