Hey love.

Somehow I just felt like saying that.

Might I just say that knowing that my friends reads this blog kinda blows sometimes. haha! Sorry guys.
Just sometimes I feel like writing something that I wouldn't want people to say, "aah, Wanie is feeling this!" when they finish reading it.

Ohh what am I saying!

Hey life.

Suppressed memories?

I got what I wanted!
To meet up with Bahijah and Ana!! heehee. That was really fun. The original plan was to catch a movie and then have break-fast but KTM Commuter had to be a knob and made my journey a challenge and got me late for absolutely no reason!! grr.

But never mind that since the rest was so much fun and it had been SUCH a long time since I last saw Bahijah. Basically she picked me up from Kepong station and we went to OU. Walked around 'til around 6:30 and we went to Fish & Co. and ordered up. (Bahijah had wanted to try Manhattan Fish Market, but whatdyaknoww.. there isn't one in OU!! haha!)

Started walking around again at eight and decided to get a drink. We were just resting our feet, talking about old stuff when somehow we decided to call Ana (whom had cancelled the day before!) to ask where she was. Turned out she was at home so we kidnapped her and went to Rasta (a place in TTDI) and sit some more.
Left at quarter past eleven to send Ana to MMU and then Bahijah sent me back to Shah Alam.

But not before we got lost around Section 27 and the Carlsberg factory!! hahahha!! I am so dumb around those areas.

Bahijah and Ana got to vent. They also reminded me of my old dark days that I have seemed to forgotten - which I now think was idiotically funny.. yet slightly depressing! hahha!! Obviously, they've seen me at my worst and I find it incredible that I am capable of forgetting all that!
God, I don't really wish to remember that but as Bahijah had said.. We were young. Yes, I was. Not too sure if you guys were! heehee.

Ohh Lily and Rosie.. we SO have to do this again!
Minus the bad-memories recollection, though. *wink*
As you can see.. the blog is messier as I've added more photos on the design! hahha! (Can't help myself.)

Oooh! HEPPY BIRTHDAY SHAHNON!!

sigh.

God loves me too much and I'm a spoilt brat.

Pictures of Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix are on Yahoo!

I'm direct-linking. I feel bad.

How irritating.

The last time I updated the blog was yesterday morning and all day.. ALL DAY I felt as if the last time I wrote was a WEEK ago!!
Talk about hypergraphia. The world seemed too slow when I don't write. Yet I feel irritated that I have no self resistance right now for writing about nothing remotely important - not even to me which is the whole purpose of this blog in the first place!
I should learn to stop hating myself. That's for sure.

Let's see.. I didn't get any sleep two days ago. Why?
I waited for some downloads to finish which is completely idiotic but that's what I do.. all the time. So yeah, I'm an idiot.
I saw Prison Break from episode 1 through episode 6 - which I probably should've done sooner since they were bloody brilliant!!! Honestly.. Smart people amazes me! Especially when they looked like anything but a nerd or a geek! HAHAHAHA!!

I'm turning into one of those people I used to hate. The ones who won't wait for their favourite show to get into the telly and download everything from the internet. heehee. I know, I shouldn't hate them.. Now I feel like a total hypocrite!
I mean, downloading JUST House is fine.. but now I'm looking forward to Thursday and Monday for Grey's Anatomy and Prison Break. Also waiting for the download of Ghost Whisperer to finish. haha!! Now I'm battling with myself if I should download Lost come next week.
I have no self preservation. No self preservation and no self resistance = perfect idiot.

Ohh, the other day my sister was stuck watching the Chinese series that I am currently following; Proud of Twins, weekdays at 7pm on 8TV. She knew me too well when the screen was on a close up to one of the actors, she said "patutlaa tengok cite nieee!" (no wonder you're watching this!)
There was once a time when Chinese series were all I watched. The year 2000, the year when I got my Yahoo! account. heehee. (see where I'm going?)

Okay. That's it for now.
I am rather annoyed that the only times I had brilliant ideas are when I'm having my shower and by the time I'm drying myself, the ideas disappeared. grr.

G'morning.

Yes, I said "good".

So I'm back. The trip was cut short since Dida had to be back in town as soon as possible. Her whacked bosses suddenly told her that she's going to be sent back to Rotterdam this Sunday!
Crap! I was getting used to having her - and the camera - around! (heh!)
Plus the fact that I envy anyone who's going to Europe as I am missing everything about it!
I'm certain that I'll be moody the entire weekend since Dida's leaving on Sunday and Rai and Hanis will be flying off on that Monday! sigh.

I really need to find more friends who are closer to home! heehee.
(naah.. then I won't be miserable and I won't be me if I am not miserable - sometimes.)

I am looking forward to meeting up my old buddies soon, though! Hope all the break-fast plans (if there is one!) are going to turn alright! I'm hopeful. Either Thursday or Friday with the hobbits (wow, haven't used that word for a while!) and Saturday with the beasties. Hopeful. Hopeful.
Rai, one last bowling? Or maybe sit around at the park? HA-HA-HA!!

I've forced myself to write recently. Don't ask me how that's turning out!
Just a thought for the ending.. I am rather cynical, aren't I? I've always imagined myself more like a tree-hugger than anything but boy, do I have high imaginations? sigh.

Currently listening to: Sampai Menutup Mata by Acha Septriasa.
(I think I'll put this song on loop until someone introduces me to a different song!)

Wanie out.

Happy Ramadhan everyone!

I am a little happy that I've found a great counter to replace my Jellycounter which has suddenly gone missing since last month. sigh. But really, this new one is cheering me a bit.

So I'll be out of town for a couple of days.
For the first time I am glad that someone else is making my plans for me. heh!
(Can you see the dusts on my tail already?)
I'm not exactly dropping out of the radar so you can still have me at the end of the phone line, alright?

Man, I could do with some food right now. haha!
Have an awesome break-fast everyone! Take care.

Feelings.. feelings..

I was thinking about a conversation I had with a friend yesterday.
She was asking me about what I want to achieve in life and I told her I don't know. I also told her that I only said that to avoid from really explaining to her what I want from life. She wonders why is it so hard for me to answer a simple, basic question.
Well, there's nothing simple about life, babe.

I honestly can't talk about life so conveniently. I can't talk about ANYTHING so conveniently, actually!
It's when I talk about something so freely that you should start to worry.
When I easily put my words together.. it usually meant that I am detached from the subject. That I'm seeing the topic from a different perspective and that I don't really feel for the subject.
Do you get me, girl?

You might read this entry so fluently but you have no idea how long it took me to figure out the next word after another. How many times I reread and corrected my lines.
So yeah, that's my secret. I don't come up with an entry in a flash, unless it's only my report of what I've been doing for the rest of the day - which of course, a bimbo can do.
And no, I don't put my feelings on my sleeves like most had expected. heh. Which I'm sure my closest buds have known. The reason why I love them so much!! For letting me be, yet still hangs around until I'm ready to speak. sigh.

I was singing to Acha's song earlier and Dida shouted from our room to ask what song was I singing to. I got her to listen to it and she told me a sob story that somehow I could relate to.
For a brief moment we both cried and boy, I was glad that our parents weren't home. Dida must have been screaming inside to tell someone about what's kept inside her.
I feel sorry that she had to go through what she's going through.
Life HAS GOT to be FAIR!! God, please please let her get what she's looking for. Please please don't keep her from looking for the rest of her life. Somehow let me know that things are going to be alright!

JAG is back on Star World, picked up right where it had left things hanging. So besides everything else, I am glad for that.
Yet I'm starting to well up again.. crap!!

Hope you guys are having a better start at Ramadhan.

Currently listening to:

Embun di pagi buta
Menebarkan bau basah
Detik demi detik ku hitung
Inikah saat ku pergi?

Oh Tuhan ku cinta dia
Berikanlah aku hidup
Takkan ku sakiti dia
Hukum aku bila terjadi

Aku tak mudah untuk mencintai
Aku tak mudah mengaku ku cinta
Aku tak mudah mengatakan
Aku jatuh cinta

Senandungku hanya untuk cinta
Tirakatku hanya untuk engkau
Tiada dusta sumpah ku cinta
Sampai ku menutup mata
Cintaku sampai ku menutup mata

Wasn't planning on updating the blog today, but then I found this song!
Can I say that this is my song? haha!
By the way, this is Sampai Menutup Mata by Acha Septriasa. Acha is Luna in that new Indonesian film, Heart.

Ohh, and I took this song from Shahrir's Lifelogger.
Thanks dude!

Back for the weekend.

My sister is back for the weekend (honestly, the woman is crazy!)
She was on a flight to Singapore yesterday morning, and today she's back at home. Why? Because she had felt like it!
Seriously disturbed.

She was supposed to work in Singapore for two weeks.. well, she still is but she went back home to get the car. She complained to me about there wasn't any water source in the toilets in Singapore and said she had to buy a bottle of 3-Singapore Dollar EVIAN!
hahhaha!! Can you imagine her, using Evian to wash her private parts? hahha!

Okay, I'm having a headache.
And it's cold and I hate having to go to the loo every 15 minutes. grr.

Will I or will I not?

Okay. It's that time of year when I rain myself with old thoughts that worries and saddens me. To be honest, I had written a different entry earlier. Well, actually I did the same Q&A that you can find on Alia's blog but truth be told.. I find myself way more depressing through my answers.
Of course, I don't expect anyone to actually think that of me but I know how I think and I think it sounds depressing.

A downside to hiding your feelings. heh!

Honestly I can't quite figure out anyone to be entirely happy their entire life since I am turning out like this. haha! Oh I don't know. I'd like to think I'm generally happy.. but what do you think?
D'you think I generally sound happy? (Okay, maybe I do.) But you have to take note on my old entries as well - which I think NO ONE will have the patience to go through all 1,500 of them!

I think it'll take a full day for me to explain the way I feel right now and I can only think of 2 persons who could actually understand them if ever I told them, but I won't burden them or the rest of you who reads this blog.
If ever you wonder about what's going through my mind at this very moment, thank you very much. Even if you're only pretending to care.

I'm changing the subject now.
Running :: away
Alternative :: routes
Cope :: life
Lots :: nothingness
Sympathetic :: not
Barn :: chicken
Totally :: clueless
Baby :: poo
Undeniable :: feelings
Watermelon :: red
by Unconciousc Mutterings.

Rajen berbahasa Melayu

See what I did?
Instead of saying "malas nak cakap English", I said "rajen berbahasa Melayu". Honestly, writing, speaking and THINKING in English comes natural to me and writing in Malay will be a challenge! Not saying that I have perfect English or there is anything wrong with Malay languange but you'll see how weird I'd sound..

OK! Melayu!
Rasenye kalau tulis dalam Melayu macam lagi sukar sebab rase berbelah; nak cakap baku atau pasar. OK, pasar la kot tapi still masih.. susahh!!
Haritu entah kenape Muz mentioned cakap something sesuatu pasal me Wanie asyik cakap Inggeris and dan dia suruh try cuba tak cakap Inggeris in dalam satu hari but tapi belom sampai seminit Wanie dah masukkan brape word perkataan English Inggeris daa..
Macam sekarang ni laa.. sangat FAIL!! GAGAL!!
Macam bodo juge sebab tak dapat nak tulis flawless perfect urghh!! Tak dapat nak tulis satu perenggan without tanpa satu salah pon.
So Baik berhenti sekarang dan tulis seperti kebiasaannye..

ENGLISH!!
Even my dad thinks it's horrible of me to use an italic font when I throw in some Malay words as I write. hoho!
Haven't got much to write actually. So here's a vlog me and Alia did at the end of yesterday. There's a quick message to Azraai and Syafiq! Would you believe it, this vlog-ending is longer than the rest of the day's vlog!! (You can see that one on LL!)

Double trouble.

Crap! Double crapp!!!
Will go through that in a jiffy, but now I'm going to tell you what I did for the rest of the day.

I played Yahoo! Pool for the first time last night and I was slaughtered by Dar. Seriously, I feel defected. Completely lousy!
I was glad he decided to go to sleep after the fifth game and saved me from further embarassment! haha! Btw, Ablen, you said you're going to update your blog so where is it?? Liar liar, pants on fire.

Okay, I woke up around noon by Alia's call whom had asked if I had wanted to catch a movie; Heart. eek!! ME WAAANT!
I heard people talk about how touching the movie was and I'd like to find out!
So we went to Midvalley and bought tickets for the 2:30 show of Heart and The Banquet at 4:25! Yes.. Double trouble is the word -- or wordS. (grammatical error ticks me!)

Had a quick lunch at Food Junction, (see what I did? Instead of saying "foodcourt", I had made the place sound like a restaurant! haha!) and missed the advestisements at the beginning of the show.

Heart was..
Alright. It wasn't as touching and sad as I hoped it was. Of course, I shed a little tear at this one part (which I probably shouldn't reveal) but honestly I had hoped for more! I had wanted to come out of the cinema wailing and screaming "Why God, whyyy!!" - but I didn't. So I was disappointed by the word-of-mouth that was obviously untrustworthy. grr. But there were some scenes that I thought were amusing enough to not make me feel like I had wasted my time. The scripts of some parts were.. nice. Wish I had remembered them. sigh.
So would I recommend this film? Only if you're at the cinema before six pm and you have your student card with you! But if you love the idea of an alternate-universe version of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, you'd love this! (note: I don't.)
Err.. have I said too much?

The Banquet was HILARIOUS!! haha! Sorry.. it was not, really. But I was struck by a giggling fit at the end of the film so I can't help but remembering just that! As Alia had said to me earlier, it was like an Asian style of Shakespear. The drama and romantization of it all was very Shakespear-like, I agreed. But I loved it! The film was very.. poignant. Plus, there's Daniel Wu in it! How can anyone possibly hate Daniel Wu?? haha! But honestly, the way I see it, it is about love and power. And you know how those two don't get along.
If you like to cook up a theory, this is definitely a movie for you!
But what do I know.. we missed the first five minutes from running from cinema 17 to cinema 3. heh!

Alia sent me home afterwards since she have a dinner to attend to while I absent mindedly turned the computer on -- completely forgetting to watch that Chinese series on 8TV, Proud of Twins. urrgh! I am hitting myself now! How can I forget??
It has Cheung Wai Kin and Nicholas Tse in it! urgghh!!

Currently listening to: Pencinta Wanita by Irwansyah.
(this song sangat chumelll!!)

Rindu Murni.. and some-else.

This is sad.

I woke up. Got into the shower. Turned on the computer. And logged on to Y!M.
First thing I saw was Azraai's status message;
"Al-fatihah buat sahabat kite Ahmad Idris Helmi--"

Not THAT Idris, I hoped.

So I messaged Azraai and asked.
rai: idris helmi
rai: standard-school mate
rai: accident
me: fair skin, with specticles?
rai: yep
rai: passed away this morning

It was that Idris..

I can't remember when was the last time I talked to him. I can barely remember his face, to be truth.. but I remembered him from my first week in 1 Jingga.
School bell rang, my mom was outside waiting for me to come out and come home with her. We were walking through the assembly area and Idris ran towards me.
"Ida, let's play tag!" (Ida, jom main keja keja!)
I was torn. My mom was smiling next to me. I looked up at her and asked what I should say, and she told me that I was going home.
"I'm going home.." (Kite nak balek rumah laa)
He said okay, and ran off to join his friends.

He was among the first people I talked to in school.
Among the first people I talked to in LIFE, really. (Family excluded)
sigh. Even my parents remembers him!. Any time I mentioned a guy named Idris (eg. the LOUD Idris who lives in Sec. 4, cousins with icky Syed Ridhwan) they'd ask me if he was the Idris from standard one.

Sigh.
I'm not sure if I am lucky to have not talked to him for so many years or unlucky for it.

hahahha!!

nak nangis boleh tak?

ahhahahahahahahaha!!!

Not myself.

Feeling weird.
Sickly to be precise.
Maybe because I hadn't had a real, proper sleep in days! hahha! I'm not exactly down with a fever or any form of flu but my entire body aches as if I had run a 3-mile marathon. (I realize 3 miles isn't really anything but bear in mind that I don't DO running.. or jogging for that matter.)
I miss sleeping. I miss to actually rest while I'm sleeping. So if you ask me what was troubling me that I can't even feel rested when I sleep -- I HAVE NO IDEA!

Suppose I can blame this person for reminding me stuff that I had wished to forget. Well, maybe I wasn't doing a good job at trying to forget anyways! sigh. If only things were measly so I wouldn't have to talk about it and really.. just forget!
Guess maybe I wasn't meant to forget it just yet.
I'm rambling.
NO. I'm trying to tell you something without actually telling you. I tend to do that a lot, don't I? It's that crap where I hate to admit what I really feel.

Somebody had told me not to be embarassed by what I feel. Well, I can't help it. This is Wanie, always hiding her feelings when she can help it. Mind, I can never hide my thoughts but I'm always hiding what I feel. Or at least smother one feeling by another feeling. I think I'm the kind of person who would rather lose a friend than to share my true feelings with them. There's another word for this -- EGO!! hahhaha!! Let's call it "pride" so it'd sound better. heh!

I seriously have some trust issues. grr. I hate myself for that. Just because I'd rather be more open than cynical. Somehow I always imagined myself being laughed at when I actually open up. sigh.
Guess I'm too used to people laughing at my thoughts and that's fine. I just can't bear the thought of people laughing at what I feel. And I'm too used to people not taking me seriously and I'm afraid that they would.. too much.
When I'm never certain of myself.

I'm thinking.. and it's raining.


Would you want me when I'm not myself?

(The lyrics to this song is in my October 2002 archive. I think that's a telling of something.)

hahha!!

I jinxed the hiatus. I was doing fine until I post that "hiatus" entry. Crap!
And all those people whom had asked why I haven't updated the blog!! ahahha!! I just can't help ittt!!!
I have low self resistance! eeeekkk!!
I feel weak and helpless.

So these are what you've missed;
1. Rai, Alia and I went to see You, Me and Dupree last Wednesday and enjoyed it! Well, I honestly think you don't HAVE to see it in the cinema but it was time well spent and I looove those two! (Yes, Azraai.. you're included. booo!)
2. We had an odd sort of hang out on Friday 'cause both Rai and Alia only had an hour to waste and we spent it at Luca's Pizza in Subang! haha! Later Rai and I went to the Pasar Malam and ended up in Syed Bistro for another hour!
3. Sometime in the week, I woke up with a single tear in the corner of my eye. I'm afraid to try hard enough to remember what I dreamt about.
4. Alia drilled me with some scary questions last night! ahhaha!!
5. Had a brilliant time with the beasties earlier!! Can't wait to see them again.

6. More lame videos uploaded on my LL.7. I was the object of attention earlier for wearing so differently from any typical Malaysian and MAN! I don't give a crap! hahha! I don't get called "selamba" by Zul for nothing, okkaay! I'd say what I like and I'd do what I want. Apparently I get some attention for it. tralallaa~
8. Oh right, thanks to Asha for running me through getting my very own torrent files! LOL! I know, I know.. there must've been at least 5 people who had told me to get torrent before her. Asha was the best seller then!

HANISSS!! Nak gambaaaa!! Photos from me akan diupload esok! Ehh.. I mean later today!

hiatus.

hiatus [hahy-ey-tuhs]
–noun, plural -tuses, -tus.
1. a break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc.
2. a missing part; gap or lacuna.
3. any gap or opening.
4. Grammar, Prosody. the coming together, with or without break or slight pause, and without contraction, of two vowels in successive words or syllables, as in see easily.
5. Anatomy. a natural fissure, cleft, or foramen in a bone or other structure.

Number 1 should do it.

Lazy eyes.

Thinking of last night, I believe that I have the coolest friends in town! hahha!! Guess I hit the jackpot in friends. The bunch that I hung on to seemed like the ones I'll ever need. So thanks you guys!
We've hit the ups and downs but I can't imagine life without them and you-s.
Life is great!

Okay, moving on before I tear up about something that wouldn't make sense..
I heard the new single by McFly.. I thought it sounded.. alright? I'm not really sure. I think it sound fine when I heard it but a few hours after it, I forgot! So "forgettable" is the word. (I feel awful for saying that!)
Maybe I'm just bitter 'cause they've changed their logo and it looked absolutely horrendous! I say they've gone nuts.

Haven't got much else to say.
I'm thinking of going on a hiatus actually. Need to work on my "writer's block". Havta.. havta.. havta RESIST DISTRACTION!!
And this blog is obviously a distraction!

I think my soul is tuned to this song;

Alia's at my place!

I never had any one of my friends sleep over at my house so mind, I'm feeling giddy somehow. heh!

Okay, I'm sleepy but I feel obligated to write something first before I fall asleep!

1. Alia and I went to KLCC earlier and she read her comics while I read the first two chapters of the new Artemis Fowl series! (eeek!!)
2. Invited Azraai to come with us to Cyberjaya to surprise Shahrir but his mom didn't let him! ahahhahaha!! Yet somehow we bumped into each other in McD -- Alia had wanted to use the toilet and Rai was in his car in the drive-through lane.
3. Picked up Arep from his house and went off to see Shahrir!
4. Had supper in a funky-smelling place in Sri Kembangan with Shahrir. I hyperventilated at this one funny the boys made. I can still smile about it now.
5. Called Dar out and saw him after soooo long!! Sempat gosip sebentar! Ohh, Incik Dar, you looked good!
6. Head back around 3am and Alia got a message from her mom that her dad wants her back! Errk, sorry Cik Alia!
7. Alia's staying for the night so her parents would cool off before she head home. haha!
8. Miss you Incik Pae!! Me and Alia were talking about you almost all day long!
9. Credit tinggal 4 Ringgit.

Okay. Wish I could upload some pics or videos on LL that I took earlier but I'm too sleepy. Too bad that the battery went dead before we head to Cyberjaya! Could've taken some awesome pics!! grrr.

You git!

git [git]
–noun
British Slang. a foolish or contemptible person.

Sape nak perasan ni, silekan ye..
I do mean it for someone..
I know exactly what you think, so seriously.. I think you're being a real git!

In an off mood. Wish I could just keep quiet when that happens and yet here I am still typing away. jeez!

Sighing too much.

I'm waiting again. Crap!! I thought I've promised myself not to ever again! shite. In need of a change.

Anyway! Just a reminder to those who haven't registered their prepaid numbers, go ahead and register! If you're a Maxis user, you're going to get RM2 credit and if you're using Celcom, you'll get RM5 and 3 days extra of your access. heh! (Guess that form was worth it.)

My mind is a bit off these days. haha! I hate it when that happens. So I don't have much to tell you in here. Would rather not share EVERY thought that runs in this mind.
Though I swear I had something to tell earlier but somehow that thought just went away and disappeared. So I'll leave you with this. heehee.



ohh, I found this one YouTube. I thought he looked adorable!! ngee! --and this!

Just almost..

Okay.
I'm guessing that Azraai is expecting an entry where I'd talk bad about him but no, I won't. I know he didn't mean what he said and I shouldn't blame him for being an arse! ahhahahahaha!! Men!

Anyway, we went out to meet Ecah who's in town for a few days and dragged her out well past her curfew! Sorry? hihi. I tried being Alia-like and tried inviting a friend over but I couldn't help feeling all silly for starting to think like her!! HAHAHHA!!
Cik Alia, miss you tonight!! Hope you're getting better!
We had ice-cream in McD and Azraai invited Nazmi over 'coz he felt an "awkwardness" since I was giving him the silent treatment. haha!

I was tired the entire day. And feeling a massive hole in the heart is sort of inevitable. Then I read Alia's blog and I felt like crying! sheesh! Idiotic! And she meant it so we could all smile about it, but I almost cried.
Just almost!

I won't be caught crying! :P

And sorry Hanis for missing the kenduri earlier. I over-slept and now I feel terrible! Wish I was there.

p.s= Incik Azraai.. you can find my entire thoughts of tonight in the letter you ASKED me to write! hahha! So nantikan sajalah! Which I think both of us nanti akan lupa dah pon about tonight.
p.p.s= Saw the first episode of the third season of House!! It was brilliant!! Ooh! House is back! :x

Silly boy!

A friend sent me a message saying "sorry for your sist"..

ERKK!

What's wrong with my sister??? Do you know something that I don't??

My first thoughts were of course to worry. I haven't spoke to my sisters all day since they're both not at home so even if he had only sent the message by mistake, I can't help being paranoid!!!

eeeeee!!! Yoouuuuuuu!!! How could youuuu!!!
grrrrrr!

p.s= Called my sisters. They're perfectly fine! Thank God!!!

Time-wasters.

Downloading House season 3! eeeeek!!
It's going really slow so right now I'm killing time with my usual hobby.
(you are NOT required to read this since it's waaaay too long and it has NOTHING to do with anyone else but ME. Not kidding. This is only for my own reference!)


Rising Sign is in 11 Degrees Sagittarius
You are known for being open, frank, outgoing and honest. At times, though, you are also blunt and quite indiscreet. Others have to learn not to take everything you say personally, because you usually do not mean any harm. You appreciate living your life in a straightforward and simple manner -- you dislike social niceties and consider them to be hindrances to real communication. You have lots and lots of energy and tend to become quite restless if you feel confined. You demand the freedom to do as you choose -- you must be self- directed or you feel trapped and anxious. With your abundant energy, you enjoy being outdoors, and you should be attracted to physical exercise or to those forms of sport which can help you burn off some of that excess energy. Very gregarious, you love to socialize -- your innate enthusiasm livens up any gathering.

Sun is in 21 Degrees Sagittarius.
Very fun-loving, spirited and energetic, you have a huge reservoir of physical energy within you that needs to be released. As such, exercise or sports are very important to you. Quite gregarious, you enjoy being with other people, but you tend to avoid emotionally restrictive or intimate relationships. Constantly curious about the broader issues of life, you may at times be quite careless and sloppy about details -- you tend to leap to conclusions before all the facts are in. An avid reader, you are totally enthusiastic about any given subject should it interest you. You are known for being idealistic, generous, sociable, cheerful and very positive!

Moon is in 16 Degrees Leo.
You always want to be proud of yourself and will never do anything that will make yourself look bad. You need the respect and admiration of others and enjoy attracting attention to yourself. Everything you do tends to be self-emphasized and self-exaggerated. Very stubborn, willful and independent yourself, be sure to allow others who are close to you the similar right to "be themselves." Your need for love, affection and reassurance, and your tendency toward vanity, allow you to have your head easily turned by flattery. The more insecure you are, the more you tend to be a showoff. You love games and sports as a matter of fact, you would usually rather play than work. Be careful of a tendency to be snobbish and uppity -- it does not become you.

Mercury is in 25 Degrees Sagittarius.
Your mind is very curious and inquisitive, always seeking information on a wide variety of topics. The broader the subject matter (philosophy, science, religion, metaphysics), the more it will appeal to you. You prefer to deal with abstractions -- the small but important details associated with any subject tend to slip your grasp. You are known for being blunt, honest and truthful.

Venus is in 04 Degrees Aquarius.
You are a friendly and outgoing individual, but close relationships are difficult for you to maintain due to your fear that they will cause you to lose your freedom. You attract friends and associates who are exciting, different and sometimes a bit odd. You are popular with others and enjoy working within a group toward group goals.

Mars is in 20 Degrees Aquarius.
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause!

Jupiter is in 17 Degrees Capricorn.
You tend to feel that the only results that are worthwhile are the results that are concrete and demonstrable. You distrust abstract solutions and appreciate measurable achievements. An excellent organizer and planner, you are optimistic as well as practical and realistic about what can and what cannot happen. Very responsible, you consider it a personal weakness to be wrong about anything. This makes you appropriately cautious. You are very efficient but you tend to be cool and detached.

Saturn is in 22 Degrees Scorpio.
You tend to release emotional energies only very reluctantly. This is partly due to your fear of what horrible calamity might occur should they be released -- your emotions are terribly complicated and intense. Try not to repress these energies entirely, however, or you will succumb to negative and destructive forms of compulsive behavior. Give yourself the freedom to look awkward or silly once in a while. The relief you feel will be quite therapeutic and the embarrassment (whether it is real or imagined) will pass quickly.

Uranus is in 14 Degrees Sagittarius.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.

Neptune is in 00 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.

Pluto is in 03 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.

N. Node is in 27 Degrees Taurus.
It's not in your nature to seek out many casual acquaintances in your daily round of activities. You feel much more comfortable with a small, close-knit group of people -- those with whom you can relax and work toward known and clearly defined goals. Your loyalty to a person or group, once given, is forever -- you'll expend all of your quite considerable energy in seeing that the group stays together and prospers. You choose your partners and relationships so carefully that you're bound to gain certain advantages from them, including those of a material nature. Be careful though not to let mere self-service be your motivation in establishing your connections -- make sure that there's an even give-and-take!

Seeing quadruple.

Me and Alia sent Pae to the airport.

Thank you Alia for picking me up!! Sorry that you had to get stuck in the jam for two hours. Soooo sorry and soooo grateful!!

Thank you God for extending my life, and Alia's too!
For helping us get to the airport on time and for getting us back home safely -- even when Alia drives the car with such speed and scared the crap outta me! (On everage 150km/h!!)

I'm updating my Fotopages and LL.

A day of sadness.. and silliness!!

Dear Ida,

Do you have an urge to howl at the Moon? With the September 7 full Moon lunar eclipse in sensitive Pisces you may feel a bit thin-skinned. Yet, there isnt a better time to tune into yourself and take stock of where you are and what you want. See if you can take some time away from your busy schedule. Turn off your cell phone, hire a babysitter or take a personal day from work.

I have a busy schedule. hah!!

Spent the entire day with Alia. Talking about our worries yet came up with silly theories instead! Azraai joined us around mid day and we hung around Tasik Shah Alam doing almost nothing. (Alia and I were working on something while Azraai got himself bored.)
Later decided to go to Pyramid but didn't quite got there. Resolved to getting some pizzas at Luca's and brought them over to Fakhri's house. (Not before we did a taste-test during the bumper-to-bumper at the Batu Tiga toll! haha!)

We just sat around, looked through Fakhri's photo albums, 'til Azraai's mom called and asked him to come home. hihi.

Aaaand.. came the silly part with me and Alia!
Alia had wanted to see more of Fakri's photos.. We were in her green Kenari.. parked right outside of his house! Called him and tried to persuade him to let us kidnap one of his albums since he was reluctant to give it up.
Then he said, "okaylah.. okaylahh" in a such uninviting tone so we just stood there, outside his gates.. whispering if we should come knock on the door.
He wasn't feeling his best and he did say that he felt weak.

So me and Alia's confidence falters and we got back into the car and made another call to cancel our wish of coming over.
Then stupidly.. yet hilariously.. Alia started the car and quickly zoomed off to the main road to avoid Fakhri -- or any of his family to notice that we were all along outside of his house! *rofl*
Alia and I was laughing all the way to Shah Alam Mall! I swear I almost hyperventilated! haha!

Alia was looking for some things for her sister and brought back the idea of getting some "get-well-soon fruits" for Fakhri and so begin our quest of finding the right basket.. the ideal ribbons.. the perfect flowers and the supreme fruits!
She cares too much I think! haha! All I was capable of was to write the splendid note that comes along with it!

Okay. I had fun, tonight Alia! You're such a brilliant character and the world needs more of you! I think you're going to have a laugh about my latest podcast! (no sad stuff!)
Have to work on something now! Sooo sleepy but I really have to!

Hope you guys are doing alright!

Honestly,

At this very moment, I wish I'm horrible enough to throw a book at my mom. Paperback would suffice. I'm just in SO MUCH anger that I really wish I'm that horrible.
I know I sound mean and you need not to remind me. I know I'm mean.
But if you knew anything about me and my mom. God!! We're the perfect definition of "chalk and cheese".

We hardly ever talk. The longest time we ever exchanged words were when she nagged on me continuously. She knew nothing really significant about me while nothing about her surprises me. Seriously. She knows NOTHING!!
And you should know that that is why I am upset with her. I probably would've listen to her more if she would ever listen to me but she NEVER did.

Having her scold at me on the phone didn't only angers me but I feel like coming up to her face and say a big HA-HA! sarcastically. Sometimes I feel as if I was dared to do awful things just so she can be right for not trusting me.
And the nerve of her for making it seemed wrong to "turn on the computer right after I got home". That's just plain idiotic! I see no point by that statement and it really was plain idiotic!

She nagged about "takde keje.. malam-malam.." I swear, if I get the job I'd wanted.. I'd make it a MUST to not return home at all!!!
urgghh!! I'd return in the day and see my dad, go to Seremban to see Nina and her family, and call up Dida to meet me up at some cafe somewhere where we can hang out!
That's the "evil" plan.
(I reckon that God won't actually let me do that to my mom.. but pahh! This is my wishful thinking.)

You may think what ever you want; what sort of daughter I make. I am not going to justify myself anymore than what I've written tonight. And I am perfectly fine if your moms decide that you shouldn't be anywhere near me. Seriously.
I'm praying that I'll forget all this anger when morning comes. Being angry is tiring.

And I have enough sadness to tire me to begin with.

A reason not to worry--

--about me.

Currently listening to:

(or is it actually a reason to worry about me??)
This is my guilty pleasure. haha! Can't help myself.
I completely understand if you hate me for putting this up! *lol*

Oh by the way.. it turns out that Photobucket isn't such an idiot after all. *sorry* Somehow there had been some settings that somehow got tweaked? Well, I just made a very minor change and everything went fine, as it was! Cheers!!

A lump in my throat.

Nothing medical, mind!
I was cranky and shaking from the hunger.
Annoyed by the waitress (in Syed Bistro).
And sad.. it was Wednesday.
Now it's Thursday!

I recite that "people always leave".. every single freakin' day!
But I always wish that they won't, just as much. But they do anyway, don't they?
I'm definitely losing this battle.

Okay. I'm done being sad.
Or at least.. done talking about it here.. I reckon you're not used to reading my sad entries. At least, I haven't wrote any for quite some time!
I suppose even I think that my signature entry is one where I'm feeling oh-so-cheery or oh-so-angry. heh.

By the way, this is in fact my 1501th post since 2002. Call me sick.

Currently listening to: Sejauh Mungkin by Ungu.
(it's on loop..)

Cheers!!!

Happy. Really.

First, I got to hang out with Muz. Completely filled my entire morning and afternoon! So neat! Blabbed and yacked. Considered playing in the rain but had to decide not to since Muz has school to think about! haha! (She can't afford even thinking of skipping any classes - even though she IS currently on a break!) Well, we got to step on some puddles. That brought some memories! haha!
Fun times during high school.
We went out for about 7 hours, and there wasn't a single dull moment! Time really REALLY flies when you're with friends, yeah?

By the way, that's the theme for the new layout update!!
My lovely lovely beasties.. and the darling darling clowns that has been around me for these past two weeks. haha!! I find it SHOCKING that I've only known Alia and Pae for just two weeks and look, they're right there among the cam-whores and gigolos (??) I have on the new layout! haha!
You fellas have bewitched me body and soul! AHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!! (inside joke; I reckon not everybody will get this. Sorry.)
It's the only reason why I was so ticked when I had wanted to change the layout last night. I had had HAD to have these guys on here. So, thank GOD for LifeLogger! haha! Curse Photobucket for bringing down my mood last night!

I promised Muz to say about the horrendous services we got all day but I am in such a pleasant mood I might just forget about the important points.
Just go see my vodcast if you're really curious. (well, even then I only touched the surface.)

I think I'm making "photos" on the layout as a trademark. What do you think? Makes sense, yeah?
Ohh, I hope you lovelies love the layout 'cause I'm ADORING it!! Can't stop looking at it! haha! (Vain?)
Have an excellent day everyone!

ps: If you're having problem loading the background photo, please please tell me! Just leave a quick message on the shoutbox and I'll try and find a different image host. *sigh*

cilakak kamuk!!

HOW DARE!!
Stupid Photobucket!! Since when did they resize the pictures?? I'm seriously pissed!!

One. I'm bored of this current layout.
Two. I spent an hour in front of my desktop trying to work the HTML codes around the background image I've worked on for HOURS since the past couple of days!
Three. when I thought I was done, it turned out that I wasn't and now I'm left with a stupid, ugly un-workable template!!
Four. Not only I've got a useless, ugly background image.. it's confirmed unusable since stupid effing Photobucket resized it to waaaaayyy smaller for my own liking!
Five. Seriously.. I'm bored with this layout!! It only makes me long for Europe!

Effing Photobucket!!! Idiot! Idiot! IDIOT!!!
ade kang aku buat background hitam je..!

I am the master of sad songs!

I don't write them, of course! But I know exactly where to look for them. heh!

Sejauh Mungkin by Ungu

Lelah hati yang tak kau lihat andai saja
Dapat kau rasa kan letihnya jiwaku karna sifatmu

Indah cinta yang kau berikan kini tiada
Lagi kudapatkan teduhnya jiwa

Baiknya kupergi
Tinggalkan dirimu
Sejauh mungkin
Untuk melupakan

Indah cinta yang kau berikan kini tiada
Lagi kudapatkan teduhnya jiwa

Baiknya kupergi
Tinggalkan dirimu
Sejauh mungkin
Untuk melupakan

Dirimu yang slalu
Tak pedulikan ku
Yang mencintaimu
Yang menyayangimu

Bila saat nanti aku jauh
Kuharap kau mengerti
Kuharap kau sadari

I embeded the song in one of my posts last month!
HAHA!! Suddenly I found a new meaning to this song! By golly!

Sleepy!!

I'm hitting the bed as soon as possible.
Honestly, I can be quite certain that I couldn't possibly wake up in the morning! Noon.. more like!

Went out to celebrate Zaki's birthday with Alia, Farah, Arep, Shahrir and Zaki of course! Just ate supper, took some vids and photos. (Yes, I've got another vodcast on LL!) Got home around quarter past two and I've spent the last 3 hours uploading the photos to Fotopages.. editing the video.. and uploading it onto LL.. conferencing with Alia, Pet and Arep.

And my mom's alarm just went off!!
That's my cue to turn off the computer and hit the sack. My back aches!!

Heppi Birthday Zaki!!

2:33 am.

That's the time when I start writing this blog. We'll see how long it takes for me to say what I wanted to say.

Currently, very tired. Even sleepy!
Spent the day with Alia and Fakhri in KLIA which was fun! (note: we didn't even play with the trolleys!) Did nothing much, really but we had a fair share of laughs. From taking pictures, mostly!

Speaking of that.. I just spent the last few hours editing, and arranging my podcast and vlog (which you can find on my LifeLogger) and also uploaded the pictures of my recent activities on Fotopages.
Gara gara si Pae lah orang upload dengan kadar segera!

Feeling a bit sugul (down) now that the new week is coming up! Dida and Fakhri will be leaving on the 9th and Cik Mi's engangement is also on that same date! Hope I can make to everything I wish to go to! I'm thinking of dashing to the airport after I took some rolls of photos from Cik Mi's engangement!
Bah! And once Dida leave, she'd take along this laptop and her Konica-Minolta which had been GREATLY entertaining and amusing to me and my new-found friends. hihi.
And it's September and without me actually realizing it, it'll come to October and Azraai will head back to Germany. (And Hanis to Japan!!)

See.. I have no idea why I had to befriend smart people! sheesh!

Okay. I'm going back to uploading pictures onto Fotopages before I start yacking about how I really feel.

Still at Alia's place!

Alia is having her shower.
I just had mine but I feel rather naked without having my usual things I put on after my shower. (deoderant, etc.) Erkk. I hate B.O. Especially when it's MINE! haha!

In the spirit of honesty -- which I'm always in -- I must tell you that I'm wearing Alia's cute pink top (that somehow matches with my jeans) and for the first time ever, a disposable panty!! (Yes, I give you permission to let your imaginations roam as wild as you want it to.) Feels a bit weird. It's too airy for my own liking.

Moving on.. I was having a bit fun with her webcam! haha! I don't own a webcam so I was acting a bit vain just now which I'm feeling guilty about now. heehee.
I think I've been influenced by Alia's "cam-whore" aura.

Okay. This is SUCH a boring blog and I'm slightly sorry that you had to read it. (You know, you can always go and check other blogs than mine!)
I'm going now even though I have no idea what I'm going to do next! I suppose I'm looking forward to going to KLIA in a bit! I loooove airports!

At Alia's place!!

Yes yes.. I'm in Subang.
And Alia's going to leave me here all by myself so I think I should just stop now and join her to bed. ngeee.
By the way, we were hanging out in Syed Bistro earlier with Farah, Zaki, Idris and Pae (who came a bit later.) Then me and Alia went to had supper in Murni which I'm looooving for their maggi goreng. Me like!
Okay. Have to go now.
Hope you're all doing absolutely fine and really happy. Sangatlah heppi!

Love.

This is how a heart breaks.

*sigh* Don't ask.
I just got off the wrong foot again so now I'm counting on my cow-half to help me forget the things I need to forget so I won't resolve to slitting my wrist anytime soon.
Yes, rather dramatic but I blame my writer-half on that part!
There are just some things that attracts me to hearbreaks, I think! The fact that it will end in ONE way than any other way that I'm not quite prepared of. Am I not making sense? Well, it isn't remotely important so we'll all just forget it one day.

Very very tired at the mo. My sister told me that I slept unattractively while we were in the car. I am horrified! Vain, yes. (It's my new favourite word.)
Between the upsetness and the odd National Day "chill out" in PD, I can't really say what is necessary to say in this blog.

Cik Hanis, looking forward to seeing you. (and the rest of the beasties too.)
Incik Azraai.. LEKAS PULAAANG! I think I was getting used to having you around so much that things are rather sad and unamusing since you're away. Matilah I nanti you balek Germany balek.. hadoh! haha!

I'm honestly rather upset about a lot of things these days. I'm probably PMSing though. But still.. the reason for me getting upset is acceptable so I'm not just making mountains out of nothing.