Today!

Winston Churchill.. the amazingly inspiring statesman was born on this day.
And so was Ana!!!

Heppy birthday Anaa!

Hope you're having fun at the party.. and for the rest of the year until your next birthday! heehee.
Amacam Ana? Akan se-femes Churchill kah kamu? ekkeke!

When things aren't right.

It simply means that things are wrong.

Feeling super woozy. I probably should start to worry that I get sick so easy these days. And my cough is not helping either. Everytime I cough, it'll only get my head aches even more. Just fab!
I tried cooling off my burning head with those cool-blue thingies, but all it did was steam it instead.

What an awful week to get sick. How I wish I was fine!!
Got to go now. I can barely feel my fingers.

Ah mann...

These people can't dance to save their lives!
Or maybe they should find a better choreographer.
..But I find immense pleasure watching them! hahha! There's something on it that keeps on feeding my curiosity. (The show, I mean - not just the opening theme!)

Geez. 2000 can't happen again!!!

Hello, stupid.

Happy Monday everyone!
It's kind of odd to be excited about "Monday" but I was.. and am excited that it's Monday! A new week! Mainly because there'll be a new episode of Wedding on telly.. and some other shows that I shall download through out the week! Just looking forward to some, more than others.
(Horrible, my day's happiness depends on tv shows! hahha!)

Of course, I expect everyone to understand that that is only an exaggeration of what it really is. I'd honestly be disappointed if anyone would take my words by every single word. Okay, maybe not really disappointed, but I'd probably call you "stupid". (sorry, a bit harsh I know.)

The weekend was alright. Me and my parents went to eat in Eden Restaurant in Subang for the first time and though my mind wasn't completely in it, but I have a new respect for one of my cousins who happens to work in the kitchen there.
We were leaving when he caught up to us for a bit of chat. At one point, his phone rang and to my absolute surprise, he made no such move for it. He ignored the ring and focused entirely on us. So cool!!

I have never met anyone my age who is capable of ignoring their phones. I mean, seriously.. Have you? That was just so cool. I couldn't possibly count the times where a conversation was interrupted when a friend's phone rang and they decided to answer it instead of finishing their words.
But Hafiz was so cool!

Sunday we (me and the parents again, who else?) went to Seremban to see Nina.. mostly because Mama have been missing the Kiddies so much.
I really like Nina's layout for the living room. So appropriate for entertaining guests.

Okay, better dash now or Papa will think that I didn't want the burger he just did for our late lunch!
Have a good week, everyone!
I'm honestly a tad nervous about Friday.. but I really shouldn't, right? Geez..

ps: Actually I have met someone else who managed to ignore the ring of a phone. Just one other, though. I couldn't help being impressed then, either.
pps: Christiano Ronaldo is still a knob.

Stages of grieving.

There are five;

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Well, I'm not sure where I am now cause it changes every hour!
But I'm over denial, that's for sure. I think I'm in between bargaining and acceptance. I know I'm too tired and numb to be depressed, so I'm just bargaining my next move so I can accept - but with a sprinkle of anger at myself for losing my cool the other day. haha!
Yeah, that's it.

It's the breathing..

They're telling my story. This is so my song! (Well, among the bunch of a long list of songs that is also mine. heehee)
Psycho-analyze me if you wish.
Freud would be proud if you get it right.
I on the other hand is doubtful that anyone will ever get anywhere near it.
So I say quit while you're still ahead.

Have a good day, guys.

An honest truth.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosphy, like art.. It has no survival value, rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival.

I keep everyone in a distance. My good friends would know that since they've experienced it themselves. Always, an arm's length.
It is so if anything bad happens, I wouldn't care. So if I lose one, I wouldn't have to make a fuss over it. So if an evil man and his minion took my friends as a hostage, I wouldn't have to be a hero and get myself hurt.

It's true what a friend had said before, I am rather cold.
I will care for as long as they are still my friends. But when they're not, you won't see me worked up about it. I will miss them later, but I won't ever be the one who'd run to look for them. What was lost.. will forever be lost.

So I'd like to apologize in advance to all my friends whom hadn't known of this before. Maybe you haven't been close enough to see it first hand.
Today I woke up resolute to place another brick on the wall. It saddens me for the fact that we weren't in the fields anymore. But most of all I'm sad that I can't fix my heart out of the doubt.

I'd say doubt is my worst enemy. Well, next to myself of course.

You can't read my thoughts after all.
While you.. you need to get over yourself and leave me alone. Go cuckoo on someone else already.

Feels like The O.C.

hahha!
Too much drama, I mean..

But I have to wonder.. I can never tell which was even more dramatic.. The O.C or One Tree Hill? I never actually follow The O.C to begin with.. heehee.

I was offended in so many ways (well, just as far as I let it get to me) but it made no sense to say much when the other party wouldn't - couldn't listen. Oh well, it was unfortunate that I was unneccesarily bugged and bothered about something tonight, but it was settled and I feel better now.
I was asked to forget (not forgive, good one!) and I will.
Good thing I've always been good at forgetting things..
and how some things are simply, forgettable.

Taking the high road now.

Dude..

You're sad.. seriously.
Pathetic even. Most tiring, actually.

Ever heard of the term self righteous?
It's when you think that you know you make mistakes.. but you believe that other people makes more mistakes than you do.. and you yacked about it!
In other words; you are so much better than everyone else. But if somehow you know a fraction of humility.. you are a bit better than everyone else!

Question: Can you name one person that you look up to, or at least considered as an equal - and the person must not be a family member, and you're not imagining yourself marrying that person.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with this month! The people that I used to like turned out to be quite ugly these days. I'm disappointed.
I'm more disappointed than anything else. It gets worse when my disappointment was taken as criticism. Just a criticism.

Please please learn something from this.
You are not my friend. I don't give a rat's ass about you. But the world needs less of this.

I must be running out of luck for having to meet two in a lifetime.

ps: I know this entry seemed self-righteous by itself, but take note that I'm referring this to ONE person so it means that I think I am a better human being than this person.. heehee. Not everyone else!

Just because..

It's hopeless..

I just can't wait so I had to look for the ending to that Korean drama on 8tv, Wedding. Just can't help it!! There weren't too many people talking about the ending though, so it was really hard to find if it was a good ending or not.
And though I've found it last night.. I still feel a bit bad at how things are going currently. It seemed a little too familiar somehow. Today's was the 8th episode by the way.
10 more to go.
Good thing it's a short series.

Okay. Gotta go quick so I can let Mama use the laptop and the sooner she gets off it, the sooner I can turn on the download. (So happens the connection gets really slow if it's turned on! Seems like the whole connection gets focused on that thing.)
Can't wait to see Heroes!!!!!!!!! (Reading last night's review.. Hopeless, I say.)

Cognitive behavior.

Can I say that I've been thinking and not at all share my thoughts with you?
Just that a while ago Rai said that I am most myself when I'm writing.
And I'd rather not have him being right!
hahha!!

Yeayy for ice creams!

They've been my temporary cure for my sore throat and it's been awesome!!
Note: I only ate the citrusy ones so no fattening stuff there!

Earlier Papa told me about something he read from the paper, (it's the only way I get my news these days!) it was about some kids jumped off their school ledge to celebrate the end of school. There were three of them; two jumped off the first floor and came out unscratched. The other decided to jump from the second floor and ended up breaking his leg.
Then Papa told me that that kid was a prefect and had got 5As.

I laughed and said that was cool and Mama and Papa teamed up to tell me it was anything but cool. They said it was stupid.. yadaa yadaaa. Well, the way I see it, the poor kid probably spent the rest of the year studying and be a good boy so I completely get if he decided to go crazy after he finished his exams! hahha! I mean, just look at it.. now he have a really good story to tell!

So Papa was surprised that I was amused by a mere story but heyy.. The kid only broke his leg. And Mama said "what if it wasn't just a leg.. blablaa.."
Well, "what if" didn't happen obviously!

If the kid had gotten any less than 5As, I'd probably call him stupid too.. But he turned out to be smart.
So he's a prefect and clever.. and the fact that he went nuts on certain occasions made him seem like a pretty fine lad!
I know I'd admire a guy with a story like that! hahha! Come on, this kid is cool!

Ohh.. but Papa told me this; "don't go encouraging your friends to jump off a building,".
So friends.. I am NOT writing this to tell you jumping off a building makes you cool. I'm saying that jumping off a building and coming out almost unharmed might make you cool.. hahha!!
Please note that it's never good to listen to me. I'm not exactly your average normal person.
Anyway, Papa said he was glad I am no longer in school. heehee.

I had to change my Yahoo! password just now. It's so freaky, I can't log on to my Mail or Messenger with my password and I am just so glad that I got the secret question right! hahha!! Funny.

Okay. That's it for now. 'Til later everyone!

On an odd twist of fate..

Happy birthday ma!!

Of course she doesn't read this blog. (Couldn't be bothered with, I'd say.)
But my mom is.. my mom.
And her birthday's today.
Thus, I'll make nice.

Wish Dida was here..

Or I was with her.. doesn't matter.

Having a horrible night because my mom is SO FRIGGIN' ANNOYING!!!
Y'know how I'm afraid of going senile in the future?
This will be one of the things that'll lead me to it.
And this is just why I am a firm believer of Freudian theories.
And I cannot joke about going senile.
See, this is why I don't get too friendly with Scorpios.
Sometimes I wish she just hates me instead of her being HER.

The price of giving a rat's ass.
You just turn out rather moronic and harsh.

Sore throat.

I'm having that. But I think it's more than just a sore.. more like an "ache" type. Just horrible.

Earlier I went to Amadsyah's open house with Alia. The first things he said to me was "Ablen tunggu tadi.." hahha!! I honestly don't know the truth of it but I personally chose not to believe it since I just hate the idea of anyone waiting for me, thank you very much!
Saw Ziadora after so soo long and it surprises me that she didn't seem as tall as she was back in high school. She reckoned I grew tall - it must be, since the thought of Ziad shrinking is too funny! Btw, I called her wantan the very second I saw her at the door!
Ohh, I think I was kinda mean to one of Amadsyah's friends but I think he deserved it. hahha!! I just couldn't tolerate lame jokes..

We (Alia and I) left about half past seven and headed to McD's to grab some ice creams.. and chat a bit! She told me one of her funny dreams that I am too embarrassed to tell over here! Merepek sangat.. I must forget about it as soon as possible before I get myself into a giggling fit!

That's just about it. Almost everything I did today.
I have to lie down now.. my head is feeling rather heavy and warm. sigh.
Have a good Sunday everyone!

ps: Ronaldo is a knob. (Cristiano Ronaldo, I mean.)
pps: George Lazenby on On Her Majesty's Secret Service is the worst of all Bonds so far! Honestly, I have no idea why the whole production made James Bond so out of character! Seriously!

ROFL! Seriously.

Stanley Tucci?? Seriously!!
FYI, I am currently watching that new medical show on CBS; 3lbs.
I can't begin to tell you what's worse.. the funny looking "serious" doctor whom has a "secret" of some sort who is distant or the enthusiastic new fellow.. or that British woman.. or the soundtrack through out the show!
Come on!!
Seriously?
"Wires in a box". Oh right.. Make things as simple as "everybody lies". Seriously!

Seriously??? Unbelievable!
They're even using House's Massive Attack theme song! This is ROBBERY I tell you!
Ohh, this show will definitely NOT be one of my faves! Just hate the idea of a House clone. bluerghhh!

Plus.. the songs played on the show were too commercial for my taste. heh!

Top 10 (unhealthy) foods.

1. Famous Amos cookies
2. Lays Cream and Onion (was it??)
3. Lasagna
4. Potatoes.. (in any dressing, really!)
5. Mac and cheese!!
6. any pasta in carbonara sauce
7. that something-Praline flavoured ice cream at Baskin Robbins
8. California Roll
9. Belgian waffles (curses! I miss those.)
10. Whipped cream?

I hope you're not mistaking this and tell your friends that these are the "world's most unhealthy food" because I doubt it really is. I'm just pointing out that my favourite foods happens to be not too healthy. Alright?

So there'll be a meteor shower on Saturday night. Best seen if you're in North America or West Europe.
Ohh do you see me turning green?

Professor Moody.

Suddenly wondering.. why was he named Moody? It wasn't like he was moody. Creepy at times, yes but never moody.
Constant vigilance!

Okay, nothing much to update about but I'm updating anyway so I won't become like one of those blog owners that doesn't seem to be updating their blog any time soon. All I have to share is some boring.. boring thoughts so just bear with me, yeah?

As always, downloaded my favourite shows and this week's House was brilliant! And Heroes.. that is seriously becoming one of my favourite shows. Then there was this drama, Brothers and Sisters which I mostly like because of this gay brother. Him and his gay friend just have the best lines, I tell you! Really like the apology on last Sunday's episode.
I heard that CBS is introducing a new show called 3lbs that reminded everyone of House!! hahha! So I think I'll see a bit of that sometime in the future just so I can diss the idea properly.

I've been rereading Harry Potter books lately and right now I'm reading the first one. Just because I was bored and I couldn't find my own idea to write..
Funny how light Harry's problems were in his first year in Hogwarts.. to think that he won't be coming back for the seventh (as if it mattered!) is a bit disturbing.

Alright, enough boring you with mindless details.
I'm boring myself, that's for sure and that's all that I cared about actually! (Not ready to collect my very own fans just yet.)

What's frustrating?

Only three cookies left after barely 3 days of buying them. And Papa only took two!! Famous Amos cookies are probably my worst vice. I just can't say no to it. The fact that it's RM15 for 200 grams is probably a blessing in disguise.
Having a bit of a flu.. So I'm rather touchy and irritable.
Mostly because there isn't enough blood flowing through my hands and it's making them numb. Plus the sneezing. It's too much, even for me.

I'm tired.

Has anyone ever thought of that?

I didn't lie in my Friendster when I say I didn't appreciate stupidity. I can barely tolerate it.

to couzie, "this is SO going into my blog!"

Finally a chirpier entry worth writing.
We'll start in a chronological order, yeah?

Went to sleep around 5am last night. We blame Star Movies for having those James Bond movies marathon! Unfortunately I didn't get to see all five of them; it was getting too late and I had to go to sleep. So me and my dad watched Dr. No (which was apparently a Chinese name!), From Russia With Love (which was slightly better than the first movie) and Goldfinger (which by then I couldn't stop laughing by how EASY those women were!!). Come on! It's degrading, honestly!
And there was this Bond girl in Goldfinger named Pussy Galore!! Seriously! What mother in her right mind would name her child Pussy! Especially with that last name of hers! I just couldn't take any of her lines seriously afterwards. Couldn't decide between the humour and the derogatory.

Morning came and I went out and meet up Dayat.
We did nothing much but had lunch and walked around the mall looking at shoes and bags. (Darn those shoes that looked good on me! Now I can't stop imagining having them!) Well, there was something more to it but I'm too tired to yack on about it here.

We part ways around 4pm and I was lucky enough to meet this one talkative female on the commuter who had no problem sharing a bit of her life with me. Really amusing. Really. Didn't asked her zodiac sign though.. don't know why. Probably 'cause I was too shocked that she's 21 and married! Wouldn't want to get more shocked if she turned out to be a Sagi! (but I doubt it!) HAHHA!!

After my parents picked me up from the commuter station, we went around Shah Alam to get some things before heading to Cik Jib's house for dinner with the rest of the extended family. (Really nice, btw!)
After a while and the night went on, Iqbal got a little cranky and he needed his dose of Power Rangers!

Which me and Sarah just couldn't stop ourselves from laughing at the "blast from the past". Ohh, I feel old. heehee.

And now I am feeling horribly tired! Wish I could take off my shoulders and put it aside for a bit.
Hope you'll have a good one, everybody!

ps: I probably should note to myself that today, I realize that I am extremely spoilt! Horrible!

You know what?

I think, above all.. I am angry.
It feels so wrong that it's giving me an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know, I used to be fine.. not a care in the world.
The unfortunate truth is that I actually do.
Your happiness mocks my frustration.

Curse Grey's Anatomy for making me think!
Things are making much more sense these days. It's pathetic to think that it took me all these while to accept. The power of denial. heh.
Guess I never really healed. Forgetfulness only took you so far.
Idiotic, isn't it? Letting such a minor thing change you.. forever. Just admitting to that is making me sick! (My ego is a lot more idiotic, if you hadn't noticed.)

No wonder I understood miserable.. distant.. detached people so much better than I understood the happy ones. They're freaks! hahha! Sometimes I wonder how people can laugh so much. Then I'd think to myself if I was anything like that once. I honestly can't remember. Don't get me wrong, I admire those who are nice.. ones who truly cared. But sometimes it's a bit tiring to cope with them - and exceptionally annoying when they tried to recruit you to the bright side.

Well, all I want now is for the ache to go away so the headache too will stop.

"Some wounds run deeper than you can imagine. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are wounds that take us by surprise. The truth with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of the injury. And once you've found it, try like hell to heal that sucker."

ps: I did another quiz on Tickle and apparently I'm the perfect candidate for a cognitive behavioral therapy. Great!

hahahha!!

It's almost half past three and I am in a giggling fit!


Sorry I'm biased and I'm so easily amused, it's shameful.
This is McFly with Star Girl by the way..

What a riot!!

This is just too funny!
Korang berdua.. seriously gedik!

Jude Law.

Amusing quiz on Tickle.. It's called Who's the Man of Your Dreams? And apparently, the man of my dreams would be a secret agent!!

Mystery and intrigue — it's not just for action-adventure movies. It's what you are looking for in life and love. From spontaneous weekend getaways to notes stuck in your jean pockets, you love being surprised and appreciate the extra thought and effort that goes into making it happen.
That's why a secret agent could steal your heart — he's got what it takes to change the world, but he's not about to go around shouting about it.

Great. Finally got that figured out. Now all I need is to be introduced to a secret agent! Know where I can find one?
Dida, don't joke about an SB 'cause there's no way I can take a real SB seriously after this! ekkeke!! Lagi lagi tengok Papa and his friends. Cam tak larat! ahhaha!

Talking about Papa, he's down with a nasty fever and it got me a little disoriented. Just seeing him unwell is so.. wrong! I find that I get disoriented everytime Papa or Mama gets unwell. I guess its times like this when my head goes on a haywire.
Would you believe it if I say that everytime my dad coughs, I'd immediately think to myself if I can do a proper CPR! hahha! Stupid, I know.. just an example of how my head works.

Been a little off since I woke up yesterday. I had a smart sort of a character saying something really interesting in my dream and it just had me thinking ever since. (haywire, I said.)
Then I saw Alfie on HBO and that got me thinking! Seriously.. if only our brains are actually capable of being full but apparently we never really stop learning, do we?

Because I'm bored, I'm going to show you what's in my bag; tubes of lipgloss and lipstick, pen, Moleskine, keys, post-its, blablablaa..

Alright, got to go so I can write morbid thoughts in my Moleskine.

Time's running out!!

Alright people.. not much time left!


You have a little over a day to contribute and you wouldn't want to miss the fun! It's time that you search for those old photos or videos stuck between the forgotten files in your hard drive to upload for the time capsule. Heck! If you don't feel like doing that, share some words of wisdom instead! Better yet, if you can do miracles with your mouse, draw!

Contribute.

Motion In The Ocean

*giggle* I hate McFly's new logo.. and the fact they're a bit different now.
But I can't help getting their new album! Yeayy!!
Downloaded it of course.. NOT my fault that their albums are SO hard to find over here!!
So I'm currently looping this one song because it sounds like a classic McFly song. heh! The others sounded a little.. mature, I suppose! sigh.

Spent the entire day with Alia. She had wanted to look around for some things (well, LOADS of things actually!) but before that, we sent Idris to his exam and on the way out of uITM, I saw Muz' mom!! heehee. I was almost as excited as if I've seen Muz herself.

We headed to OU and had lunch - Dave's Deli!! *manic laugh* I need to get my cravings over with before I can start cutting down those bad bad carbs. No more lasagna and potato salad for.. three months! *smiles sheepishly* Three months sounds more achievable than half a year.
And cut down sodas.. Need to do that too!! How about.. treating myself to a soda once every two weeks? hahha!! I just can't do drastic things. Might bring myself to an epileptic shock - and we wouldn't want that, would we?
Last thing on the list of MUST DOs would be wake up early and not stay in bed for half a day!! yikes! Now, I believe that's the real cause of getting wider. Darn it!

Okay. Probably need to rest now.
We were out for about 10 hours and that's just.. almost senseless!

How's my new layout?

hehhe! Still haven't figured what I wanted to write in that black space on the right.

In recent development, I am seriously considering cutting down carbohidrate! Seriously. But the mere thought of not having anymore bread and cheese.. Potatoes too!! ohhnoooooooo!!! Especially since I am suddenly craving for a French loaf with a dollop of butter.. lasagna.. and potato salad!!
Ohh man! I'm sad.
Deeply deeply sad.
So I'm still thinking about it. Don't know for sure if I can give up bread. Coffee and cigarettes.. I can do that, but bread.. sigh. What's worse, I'm not that smart - my brilliance couldn't make up for my looks, so I can't do FAT!!

Been thinking about my friends a lot lately.
MMU kids starting their new semester.. Bahijah in Dhaka.. Alia and Muz starting their finals. Well, that's what upsets me most actually.
SMSed Muz yesterday and she said her final paper will be on the 25th but she still have things to sort out after that and only promised for early December!!
That's just crazy.
Ohh fine, I don't really have any cool or earth-shattering news to share with her, but crap I haven't seen her for ages!

Now if you'll excuse me..
I need to slap myself about something.

(no subject)

Here's what happened these past few days;
Pet practically called me fat which now when think of it.. it practically means that he's family since my parents and sisters are the only ones who's ever said I was fat!
So dude.. you're basically the other sister I've never had.

Been horribly bored. Seriously, HORRIBLY!!

Finished re-reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and found it boring for the second time! hahha!! I know, that's just evil of me but really.. I am hoping that Rowling will do a really brilliant job on her final HP book!

Okay. I'm horribly uninspired now.

You deserve a longer (letter) than this; but it is my unhappy fate, seldom to treat people so well as they deserve

Ouch!

Finally saw Tristan and Isolde.
sigh. I've never seen a sadder couple. Both James Franco and Sophia Myles did a brilliant job! I mean, if you see the movie.. you'd see that they both had watery eyes on most part of the film.
Okay, that doesn't sound too great, but gosh!
I'm the one who's having the heartache right now.
They're just.. their face expressions were.. really really sad.

I remembered seeing the poster while I waited for the tram in Rotterdam and I couldn't stop staring at it! So I finally saw it.. after months and months obsessing Gavin Degraw's song on the soundtrack.

If I have to be truth.. I think I want that.
You know.. sad looks on the face because we're pining for love. Wanting to be together with that one -- just because I understand being miserable better than being happy.
Oh no!! I fear I've just revealed too much!

I hope I find this gift.

ah.. crap!

Crap is when you have nothing good to do.
Crap is when you got upset when Tom told his girlfriend that he loves her when they couldn't stop the bomb.. and when Sydney watches along as Vaughn was carried out from the room.
Crap is when you look at some old pictures and smiled to yourself thinking, "ohh, I miss that!"
Crap is when you decided that you miss someone and not being able to tell the person 'cause that will mean that you cared a little more than you should.
Crap is when you realized that you are being too proud for your own good.
Crap is when you're smiling and tearing up in the same time.
Crap is when you have too many thoughts in your head and you're nowhere close to finding a single answer.

That's crap, everyone!

Have a good day ahead of you.

"Matured" my ass!

Dida phoned last night thus turning my ears red from pressing the receiver too hard so I could listen her robotic voice through the bad connection.

She told me that one of her friends thought I was matured. I can't help but crack up at the idea, of course! Then Dida went on agreeing her friend! Realizing that "just because a person messes up their life, doesn't mean that they're a mess" (her actual words weren't as cool as I put it, though.) That made me laugh even harder as I considered if I should take it as a compliment or an insult instead!

Dida said I was good for something after all!
Seriously, she's lucky that I'm generally good natured and that I have an odd sense of humour!
Well, to be truth I am especially amused that Dida appreciated me most when I was just being myself.

Apparently I can listen, no matter what they said. (I usually get B's for my listening exams!) Well, I CAN listen! It's not my fault that they keep on yacking about things I can't be bothered with! (Somehow I'm imagining my good friends snigger behind my back.)

Enough about that. An entire side of my body aches! I blame yesterday's awful bowling balls.
Ooh~ NaNoWriMo begins!
And people.. Yahoo! Time Capsule closes next Wednesday!! Contribute if you haven't!
Ooh! and YEAYY!! House is back!!