You know what?

I think, above all.. I am angry.
It feels so wrong that it's giving me an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know, I used to be fine.. not a care in the world.
The unfortunate truth is that I actually do.
Your happiness mocks my frustration.

Curse Grey's Anatomy for making me think!
Things are making much more sense these days. It's pathetic to think that it took me all these while to accept. The power of denial. heh.
Guess I never really healed. Forgetfulness only took you so far.
Idiotic, isn't it? Letting such a minor thing change you.. forever. Just admitting to that is making me sick! (My ego is a lot more idiotic, if you hadn't noticed.)

No wonder I understood miserable.. distant.. detached people so much better than I understood the happy ones. They're freaks! hahha! Sometimes I wonder how people can laugh so much. Then I'd think to myself if I was anything like that once. I honestly can't remember. Don't get me wrong, I admire those who are nice.. ones who truly cared. But sometimes it's a bit tiring to cope with them - and exceptionally annoying when they tried to recruit you to the bright side.

Well, all I want now is for the ache to go away so the headache too will stop.

"Some wounds run deeper than you can imagine. You can't see them with the naked eye. And then there are wounds that take us by surprise. The truth with any kind of wound or disease is to dig down and find the real source of the injury. And once you've found it, try like hell to heal that sucker."

ps: I did another quiz on Tickle and apparently I'm the perfect candidate for a cognitive behavioral therapy. Great!