The self destructive me.

Just to update you fellas who actually cared..
Note that I actually hate updating anyone about this part of my life but I'm probably off my rockers from the lack of blood running through my brain just now.

I scored myself a job. Well, I am too great at interviews that I actually scored myself two jobs. And to top it off, I have another interview tomorrow afternoon.
Now, the self destructive part of this entry.. I am thinking of blowing it all off because I couldn't care less! hahahhahaha! Especially the one I'm supposed to go to tomorrow even though it pays very good.
Note that I'm not very money-oriented so.. RM10 is enough to keep me entertained for a bit. hehhe. I am a little hippie in the sense that I can be happy by sitting in the park just watching the leaves.

I am light headed now. On the verge of emailing Sharmini that I refuse to go to the interview tomorrow. Shit! I am so not ready to suck things up and grow up!
Sometimes I scare myself when I start thinking too much about money. Maybe I'm a little afraid that I'll lose myself.

Rationally, (yet selfishly) the best thing that can come out from getting a job is that I could save up some money. The more I make, the faster I can run away. Don't ask me what I'm running from but that's just how I feel.
Shit! I hate that I KNOW that I can do things but I have this commitment issues; contracts.. FREAKS ME OUT!!

Damn it!
I wish I could go back to this morning when I was still asleep and just PAUSE.