Second first impression.

I'm thinking about the prospect of having to explain myself to someone dear to me around this time tomorrow. Survival of the fittest sounds like the worst excuse to tell someone, no matter how true the situation is -- but this is the situation. Well, to be completely honest, I'm not actually sure that that is the situation.
It's more like my incapability to be normal have let my emotions cloud my judgement, yet I'm not too bothered by that fact.

Shit. I just found out something really foul. Damn it. *deep breathing technique*
heehee. Guess now I know how I actually feel about that. Man, why do I only figure things out when I have extreme feelings? I really should learn to get a hang of middle-grounds and get myself used to mediocrity.
But those kind of thoughts always make me wonder what will happen.. if I am more subtle, in my actions and feelings -- if I don't feel what I always feel, and write out my every single thought. I wonder what lithium could do to my system. I wonder if the psychiatrist will confirm what I've always felt I had. I wonder how I'd respond if the psychiatrist says that I'm normal.
hahhaha!! I think I'd call him a quack and ask for his credentials!

Well, I'll tell you how nutty I could go if things goes as planned. Just so you know, planning makes my head go woozy.

I've been chatting with a couple of strangers lately and I found out something about myself instead!
In the hopes of deterring the conversation away from my non-career life, I started on football. So happens that this fella I was talking to supports the same team as I do and incredibly, I find it such a TURN OFF! hahhaha!
Half my life was spent on defending my team against my guy friends who are all supporting other teams -- or couldn't be bothered about football at all, so I'm used to that. I'm used to the bicker and the banter.. and the occasional boasting followed by an exceptionally evil laugh.

Dida is off to Johor until Friday so expect some numbingly boring entries for the next couple of days. The Malaysian Super League kicked off last weekend and tonight Selangor will meet Johor FC. (Dida away = no going to the stadium) Then later in the dead-morning, England versus Croatia!
Maybe it's all these that is making me woozy. I should get a lie down. (And stock up on sleep!)