Fighting all the demons will take time.

A line from Dishwalla's song seems very fitting for the title today. At least it seems fitting to the way I feel right now.

It's official. I hate hyperventilating. Even the word irks me now. The more often it happens, the more I feel like becoming the third wife. I would've just scream if it isn't in the middle of the night right now. Stupid heart. It's just as stupid as my brain, really. Makes me wonder how I got through 23 years with them.

Funny thing happened tonight. yada yada yadaa.. don't think I want to talk about it actually. I'm in between giggling fits and nervousness. In a way I am glad that I was able to be honest instead of twisting and turning my words in an attempt of being coy. (Lying is out of the question 'cause I'm pretty pathetic at it. Or at least my conscience is.)
But I don't know what to think now. Probably a good thing since nothing good ever comes out from me thinking, really. Yet somehow I am.. sorta.. kinda.. freaking out.. a little. crap.

Anyway, I haven't done this stuff in ages!
Unconscious Mutterings

1. Questioning :: myself
2. Immunity :: Survivor! hahaha
3. Online dating :: HAHAHAHA!! OMG!
4. Calcium :: bones
5. Dressing :: odd
6. Bucket :: water
7. Stain :: blood
8. Advanced :: program
9. Dramatic :: sometimes (me)
10. Self-medication :: woohoo! sounds pretty good right about now.

PS: the time now is 2:45 PM.. and I am no longer freaked out. heh.