And I'm not cursing at anyone in particular. (bull!) Okay, I'm mostly cursing at myself.. and reality.
Damn it, I need to grow up.
I've been thinking about a lot lately..
Wondering about a bunch of stuff...
For instance, what if I had not felt the way I felt the months leading to the moment I decided to "screw" education.. If I had been stronger and suck it up.
But I can't regret now, can I?
If I had still been in school, I wouldn't have been able to see Europe.. work in Kinokuniya.. know the locations of the fire escapes in KLCC (that had helped me win a copy of Harry Potter! heh).. hung out as much as I had with Rai that last time he was in town.. I might not even got to know Alia..
I could be in a job right now.. I could have started paying my stupid school loans..
and if I had, I wouldn't be spending as much time on Facebook.. wouldn't spend my days talking to the 16 people that I talk to every single day.
I wouldn't have known you..
Wouldn't have your calls to look forward to everyday...
Would I be happier? I don't know!
Now all I can think about is what I can do to make us happy. gaah! I swear, my head make me sound like an old fart. I HATE IT! I hate it when my thoughts sounded so serious. heh. It's an ego thing actually.
I refuse to take things any more seriously than the other person does. hahahhaha! shit. I was talking about something serious just now! I'm not supposed to laugh! grrrr.
Stupid fucking school loans. They should leave me alone. Seriously, they hardly taught me anything in school.. they shouldn't make me pay.. the bastards. The fucking assholes.
ABBA - Money, Money, Money |
Damn it. It finally feels like I need to get a job.
Not just because I need to pay that damn school loans. It's just.. hmmph.. I finally have something that I actually.. really want.
Damn you.. and I can't even hate you.
0 comments:
Post a Comment