I keep thinking about the past.. if by any chance I could change it.
It's frustrating because I KNOW what I could have done better. Things that I wish to improve. Things that might make the present.. better. (Economic-wise, that is.)
For instance, school. I keep thinking if I hadn't been fooling around too much while I was in high school. I mean, they were FUN but if only I had studied better. I'm not stupid (even being 4-points behind Nina on IQ.. heh!) but I'm just.. so damn lazy when it comes to "working my ass off".
It's so annoying.. if I had done better during SPM, I could've gone to a better school.. or at least cheaper. hahhaha!
But the thing about school.. I've never been very keen on the education part. It has always been about "friends" to me. It has always been about making a contact with another human being. I know, I know.. obviously I've been looking at it all wrong but I'm simply not studious.
So even though the thought of MMU makes me cringe these days.. I can't possibly truly hate it. It had introduced me to some really good friends. Taught me some life-lessons even. Corrupted me a little, but hey it's been fun! I mean, forget about the projects (that I did not complete) and exams (that I'd failed), it had been really fun! (Okay, forget about the time when I was semi-depressed/furious too.)
blah. Anyway, the reason why I'm writing this entry is because reality is sinking in.. and I have to start paying my stupid-asswipe-school loans.
I mean, I've never been really bothered by money. I'm simply too laid-back when it comes to material-things. Finer things are preferable, but I'm fine with what I have. You can't complain when you're lazy, right? I don't think I should complain about things when I'm not exactly doing anything to improve the current situation -- so I don't complain.
But I should grow up.. suck it up and get stuck to a job that I hate.. Seems like that's what grown up people do anyways. blah. I should reply the email from my old school's finance department later.
gaah. How annoying. Even when I know that I must pay my loans, I'm actually thinking of a better way to use my future-paychecks; like travelling! hahahha!
Elefant - Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want |
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