Amusements for the day.

It's amusing how certain people needs to resolve to extortion to get something from me.
I spent about one and a half minute wondering what that says about me and I learned two things;
1. how little (or none) they had to offer to invoke my interest,
2. how little (or none) I care about helping them.

I'm not a nice person, really. Philanthropy does not suit me. And I always makes it worse by writing things out in here -- without guilt. I don't know.. maybe because I feel sorry for my pathetic life for most of the time so I feel the need to make known how other people's lives were just as pathetic as mine.

I usually blame myself when I don't care about people.. I'd feel out of touch, inhuman somehow. But for certain people, I can't care to care about them. They've stretched my patience so thin that time and time again I caught myself cursing under my breath, "die!"
That isn't nice. I shouldn't be saying that to the people I've known for the rest of my life. It's just mean.

So I guess I'll just do what ever they wanted me to do. For as long as I'm living under this roof, I probably should anyway.
Wow.. now I've finally figured out why I've always felt the need to run away. It's amusing every single time I uncovered one of the many psychological scars I have. But what's more amusing is how stoical I am right now. I'm not angry.. not upset.. I am more to -- bored.

Extorting me is getting old, and boring. Especially when I don't care. Even more so when you're trying to take away what isn't yours. You should be embarrassed, really. Oops. Maybe I am a liiittle mad after all.

Oh, on a lighter note.. last night's race was INTENSE! Poor Massa. I felt sorry for him.