It had felt as if I am free falling without a parachute. I'm screaming.. flailing my arms around -- but honestly, who could help me when I'm falling from the sky right? So the second logic crept into my mind, I stopped screaming. I stopped waving my arms. I simply stared at the fastly approaching ground with my quiet resolve.. I want to stop falling. I want this to end. Come on ground, let me have it. But I haven't been getting what I want lately, so maybe I won't have my face smacked on the ground after all. Maybe I'll just keep falling with the image of the ground getting closer and closer.. and closer. Constant displeasure throughout my life and not knowing how to end it. Maybe there is no end to this misery; of constant doubt.. of constant fear.. of constant displeasure towards life and everything that it embodies.
Perhaps I shoul pray more. (Or truthfully in my case -- actually pray.) I suppose remembering God everyday and but not exactly doing as I was told could be considered as cheating.I don't know.. who ever knows about anything anyway? To be in the know is probably the ground that I'm falling to. Maybe it won't do any good to me except break every one of my bones hurt the hell out of me.
I should just pray. Pray for my peace of mind for once. Perhaps I've been lost and in need to be found.
I could hope for a miracle that a sky diver would shoot towards me and swoop me into his arms just before he pulls his chute. But to hope for something like that just go against my core principle. As much as the idea appeals to me, I don't want to be saved! I'd rather not get to the point where I need saving. I'd jumped off the plane, I should face the consequences. I need to start taking responsibilities, don't I?
Anyway, these words had carried me away. I'd forgotten honestly what all these are the metaphors of. It had all made sense as I was writing it, but now.. not so much. hahhaha!
Moving on -- my birthday on Saturday wasn't half bad at all! I was sung to three times, had an awesome day out with friends, ate good food, listened to some good music, got a few pressies (which I ADORE!) and had cake!
Anyway, I had fun on that day.. So thank you Three A's!! hahahha! That's what I'm calling you guys now.
The full thank you list is on my Facebook note.
On a way different note -- Prosperity Burger is back y'all!!! There's even a Double Beef Prosperity Burger!
So I suppose CNY is approaching? hahhaha!
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