Back in Shah Alam.

aah.. that was a long, boring journey back. But the train arrived on time and Dida had great timing (very rare!) that she came to pick me up just seconds after I walked out through one of the exit doors.
The car ride was nice.. normal conversations, nothing odd; which was exactly what I'd wanted.

I was in a pretty good mood getting back; knowing that I have a parcel waiting for me. (hehe. I love pressies, what can I say?) I walked into the house with Mama waiting at the door ♥ while Papa stayed at his seat but kept looking my way. (My parents missed meee! heehee!) I like those little things they do when I get back after being away. Guess I won't get that much once I actually start working. ah well.. I'll just cherish these moments then!

Okay, so I went into the bedroom and my sister pointed to me the huge parcel Sheryl gave me. Really. It was HUUUGE!!! Inside were a few pairs of awesome socks ♥ and enough candies (lollipops!) to get me hyper 'til Halloween. hahaha!
If you're reading this, Sher.. thank youu sooo muuuchhh!!! Love it LOVE IT LOVE ITTT!!

Anyway, I've got some few things to look forward to this weekend. Laundry first thing in the morning, football at the stadium with Dida in the evening.. and the beach on Sunday! I haven't seen the kiddies in AGES! I do get a bit jealous when everyone comes back from visiting Nina's family with new funny stories about the kids, so I'm really looking forward to seeing them. Oh! And I'm getting Dida to watch a movie with me next week. hehe.

Should get some rest soon.. maybe.
I'm missing you, hunny..

Back to reality.

..when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.
"Why do you weep?" the goddesses asked.
"I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.
"Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they said, "for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."
"But... was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.
"Who better than you to know that?" the goddesses said in wonder. "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!"
The lake was silent for some time. Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."
Prologue, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

I can't help but relate..



Going back to Shah Alam in a few hours.
I can't bring myself to call it home. The house I grew up in hasn't been "home" for a while. Incidentally, home is still sleeping at the moment because I was crying and sleep-talking last night that he felt the necessity to look after me instead of getting some sleep himself. gah!

So anyway.. I've cried. So there shouldn't be any more.
I'll just suck it up -- and go back!
It's not like going back is all bad. I received a really good news in my inbox last night that I kept doing a jig. (Boyfie was amused.) Turned out that I did pretty well in the interview last month so I'm just going to have to wait for the call where they'll tell me to get my medical check-up. I've been worrying if saying "I have no idea" was too harsh when the interviewer asked me how to become proactive in the instance he'd given me. bah!
Sometimes words just came out of my mouth and I wish I could take them back.. Anyway, no more worrying 'cause they liked me after all! woohooo!! Now.. I hope my health is good enough for the job. hehe.

hmm.. think I ought to get my shower before I get too lazy or immersed in the fact that I really am going back after spending 5 days with Boyfie.. sigh.

Hallo from Singapore!

*waves*

I am now typing from the confines of Syl's place in Ang Mo Kio. Feeling all so hyper after a bit moody earlier. Don't really know why.. PMS? (I say that a lot when I can't figure things out.) But I reckon it is pms.. People get angry and irritated at things -- I get sad. Typical.

Let's see.. the "vacation" so far has been fun. But I'm leaving in 2 days.. :(
I'm SO getting used to being with Boyfie 24/7.. Think I'll be like an addict who has to stop taking my drugs cold turkey.

My phone's credit is rm9 something.. I hope no one texts or calls me in the next 2 days. hahhahahahhaa!

Basically we haven't done much while I'm here. Just eat.. sleep.. watch shows that I can't dowload at home (ha!).. blabla.. boring stuff.

But I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED about tomorrow!!!!!
We're going to Coffee Club and get that coffee milkshake that I love LOVE LOVEEE! Like seriously.. it's coffee AND milkshake.. it's impossible not to love. yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

hmm.. what else?
Stupid Man United drew with Inter Milan. I mean seriously. I'm blaming Boyfie for not trying harder to wake me up and watch the game. rawrrr!! (Yes, they didn't win because they didn't have me watching them.)

I think I ran out of things to write. And Boyfie is no longer reminding me of things I could blog about so now I completely ran out of things to type.
I blame everything on Boyfie in case you haven't known that. heeheee!
But he knows I love him.. so.. whatever!
Have a good Thursday, everyone!! ♥

oh! Thank you Alia, Johanz, Idris and Mail for sending me off the other day.

oops!

gah! I have no idea why I woke up this early. Okay, maybe I do have an idea why.. haha! But anyway, here I sit staring at the screen by myself. (and Boyfie's sound asleep. boo!)

I was completely soaked on last night's endeavour that I completely forgot to talk about The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
I don't think I was impressed much by Brad Pitt. I was more in awe of the adaptation from F Scott Fitzgerald's short story (it seemed better than the original -- not that I actually read it) and the make up in the film. haha!
But I really love the story.. it was poignant. Story-wise, I have nothing to complain ♥

Debzie did this quiz and well.. I needed something to do;

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Everything made sense except for the part on education and job. hehe

Think I'll laze in bed and try to fall back to sleep or something. Can't seem to find anything to do.. bleh.
O yeah, I am in Singapore, in case some of you didn't know.

I'mma mail order bride.

Tummy ache.. gah!
Not the serious kind. The gedik kind that won't go away 'cause my heart was racing. bleh. I wish I had done these kinds of things before so I'd know how to pretend to be cool at least.
O yeah, I was just introduced to Boyfie's mum and err.. yeah, she was really nice, showing me how to do some things while I'm staying here. mm.. yeah. Anyway.. still. I wish I could pretend to be cool and radiate awesomeness at will.

But I can't.. sooo...

Anxious!

Just waiting around for Alia (and Johanz) to come pick me up.
This waiting is really making me anxious.
Papa kept trying to make me go to Seremban earlier. (since the train stops at Seremban too..)
And Mama thought I was having a fever 'cause I felt warm. (yeah, she was oddly cool earlier..)
Ah well, I'm glad that they went out. At least they can't keep asking me when I'm going out. heh.
I think I got everything.. tickets, passport.. clothes.. kinda wish that my bag isn't too full.. bah!
On a different note, I'm tempted to get a haircut. Soonish.. I don't know.. I'm really not crazy about this mess that is my hair.
Okie. I'm going to get a drink and calm myself.

See you soon Boyfieee!!
♥

I'm an idiot.

Also a coward.
blah. My heart races everytime I think about making the phonecall. Wish I could get somebody to call them for me, but that'd give the impression that I'm a pussy -- which I am, actually. gahhh!! I've been sitting on this for three days now, how stupid is that? I keep delaying and give myself excuses for not calling. The three people I was with at the thing called and they got through. ughhhh!! The pressure. What if I'll be the only one?
I'll call when I get back.
blah. What ever. I'm not thinking about this anymore.

Moving on, my dad made tea for me today (like he always would..) but because we ran out of the usual Lipton teabags and haven't bought grocery yet, he gave me a cup of one-o-those instant ones. I took a few sips.. finish my pau in a good 10 minutes (slow, I know..) then hold my breath as I gulp down the rest of my tea. hehe. Curse instant drinks!!
I wonder if there is any instant drinks that tastes good out there.

Nothing more to say.
I don't feel like saying anything anymore.
Have a good weekend everyone! :)

Blast from the past!

ah yes.. nothing amazing about this picture. Just the unimpressive view from the kitchen window. So why is it on my blog?
It's the light. The yellow tint in the light this afternoon reminds me of my days growing up in this house. hehe.

We live in the top most floor so to have my friends actually climb up the stairs to get me out to play is such a rarity. (I don't think it ever happened actually.) So my friends used to call me out to play by shouting out my name from the parking lot downstairs. heehee. O yeah; "Wanie.. Waniee.." then I'd stick out my head from the window. Ah.. the days without cellphones.

Then there were days when my friends and I did too much running around and got really thirsty. There was this one vending machine at one of the blocks, but us kids.. we don't really carry purses/wallets when we go out to play and carrying coins in your pocket and hear it jingle as you run was just not cool.

So..
"Paa.. Pa.."
and my dad sticks his head out from the kitchen window. (Nobody else ever stuck their head out, oddly.)
"Nak syiling plis!" (Can I have some coins, please?)
then my father's head disappeared for a minute and returned with enough coins for me to get a soda in a tied plastic bag in his hand -- then he'd throw it in my direction and I'd avoid from getting hit by it. heehee.

I like my funny childhood. I'm glad I had friends calling me out to play practically everyday. hehe. Come to think about it, I've always had some friend calling me out to play throughout my life. hmm.. Except for that time which also happened to be the darkest period of my life, go figure.


Oh, this was taken last week.. See that bar with the word 'Connecting..'? I can't help but really stare at that bar everytime I wait for a page to load T_T
It drives me crazy every single time really.

Oh.. hmm.. I really ought to start packing.. bah!
And and.. on a very different note.. Teves cut his hair!! yayy!

duuuuuuude!

'skine.art (skineart) is now following your updates on Twitter

duuuude! I wish I was artsy and not artsy-mediocre!
duuude!!!! See gifted people with Moleskine.
Some of them are.. incredible!

My favourite is this though;

Simple, and the guy who made it drew it as his wife's V-Day gift!
hahaha!

and oh! Lookie! Leather Moleskine covers!
hahahhahaha!
grrr..
I'm so me sometimes, I annoy myself.

Blog-stalkaaa

mm..
I'm not a fan of religous blogs. I usually avoid them. Some sounded like phonies.. trying SO hard to get people to believe that their religion is "the best". Yes, God is Great.. if people can't see it, you don't need to shove it in their faces. You don't have to JUST talk about religion and God. Wasatiah.. do everything moderately.. seriously.
Some blogs on the other hand.. ah.. sounded so genuine that I wish I was in their place. They don't even need to be an Islamic blog but everytime I read about their relationship with God, I'd feel so inadequate and jealous to the point where I can cry. (Envy; one of the 7 cardical sins! eeep!)
So I click away!

I suppose I've always been pretty liberal when it comes to religion. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know when I'm not doing it. And I definitely know when I'm doing something that I'm not supposed to. hahahahha!
But I don't need these people to remind me of what I know. 'Cause I KNOW! Seriously, I do.. but the surest way of making me wander further away is by telling me to come back -- and sit still.
I am a Muslim by name, and I hate saying that. But to say "I'm Muslim" makes me feel like a hypocrite. Iman.. rasa di dalam hati, kuatkan dengan perkataan dan perbuatan. Faith, feel it in your heart, strengthen them with words and actions..
mmph. I get two out of three.

This morning's entry is influenced by this blog. It's written by a Muslim-convert/revert(?) and I find her stories amazing. She has more faith than I do. And she's a teacher too! Her patience is daunting.. truly.

I just decided to start packing. Yeah. Give me more time to be distracted.. put things in my backpack.. then get them out.. I really do hate packing. I can't seem to know what I'm bringing with me; even after I've planned my outfits -- with doodles even! Okay, I guess I can be quite the control freak but in my defence.. I used to want to be a fashion designer (when I was eleven to thirteen) so doodling what I am going to wear is.. err.. fun! hahahha

Now, I'm not really crazy about Miley Cyrus, but I LOVE her latest song; The Climb. This is probably the 2nd song of hers that I like (love). Okay. 3rd really. rawr! Don't judge meee! I'm a sucka for good lyrics!

Oh, I did this test last year and yesterday.. (a quiz on your beliefs.) Well, apparently I was a Reformed Jew in October and now I'm a Sikh.

Okie. Nothing more to write for the time being. 'Til later! (perhaps..)

Deeper conversation..

non-existant!
Seems like I've been talking about unimportant things lately. Or is my philosophical side is working on autopilot? 'Coz I can't remember actually writing with depth -- if I actually had.

Maybe I've been relatively happier than I used to be. Things to distract me from questioning about life and God's plans. Less things to ponder about. Maybe. heh.
I never stopped wondering where I'm going though. A direction that is mine, and mine alone. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that I've been "going with the flow" all my life. I want to make my own flow. Take the road less travelled yet still arrive at the destination where I'd like to be.

I want to go into the jungle with two big bottles of water, a bunch of chocolate bars and my cellphone (let's face it.. Celcom has the best reception. haha!) so my family --and Boyfie, could check up on me and we wouldn't miss each other too much while I'm away.
I know it sounds selfish to want to be alone when other people wants to be with you. But I like being surrounded by strange things. I wouldn't want to walk along the cleared path. I want the dark, difficult terrain so I know that I deserve having the people waiting for me on the other side of the wilderness.

I think I've had it pretty easy so far. (Just happens that my emotions couldn't take it head on.) Well, maybe not easy.. but it was never hard. Maybe I'm just comparing myself to other people whom had it real bad.
It's not a charmed life, but I've been lucky. I'm grateful for that.
And because of that, I feel like I should be doing more. If people who were dealt with the bad cards could do better, then shouldn't I be amazing with my mediocre cards?
haha. Maybe I'm just deluded with illusions of grandeur. (Which I must admit, I am most prone to.)
I refuse to be just me. I wish for this incredible person who happens to be ME. heehee.
I don't think I'm being hard on myself. I mean, even when I criticize myself constantly, I'm still me. Now tell me if there is anyone else as unchangeable as I am?
Ah, I'm just stoical right now.

The kids on Facebook were doing this thing last night;
(I don't think accuracy was its main goal)


You are Silver Elephant, who gives an impression of being pure and innocent.
You are not pretentious and are very straight forward type of woman.
You tend to lack sweet sensitivity.
Instead you possess strong will power and resolute attitude.
You are a hard worker, and will not depend on others.
You are a person who steadily puts effort.
You think high of rationalism, and hence, lacks softness.
Economically, you are precise and sound.
You will not spend money on impulse.
Although you don't show, you are actually a person with pride, and tend to be upright and little bit short tempered.
You may act more maturely than your age, or more childish at times.
This unbalance tends to be your attraction.
You are very independent sort of person, and will not dare think to rely on men.
You therefore try to take control of things.
You can very well take lead of men, and have a skill of not showing that.
Profit and efficiency is very important to you.
You tend to choose your hobbies on that as well.
Even after you get married, you wouldn't be turned by houseworks, and in fact will carry out it efficiently.
You will take great interest in your children's education, and will turn out to be a good mother and a wife.

hmm.. perhaps some of them are true but I find some to be extremely bogus. Ah well, maybe I just don't see myself in that light.

Wanie Idris is hopelessly hopeful.

It's just how I was made really.
So yeah.. the page out of my Moleskine that I posted for my last entry..
Basically, I do believe that we can achieve anything if we put our hearts and mind to it. It's in our hands. Everything and anything is possible. Maybe not world peace but people could tolerate each other more despite their differences.. (I'm a hippie at heart.)
So I can't take it (really, I can't take it) when I was told "no" or "can't" when I tried my best. It brings me down.. so low to the point where I can't move.
The fact that my best is just not good enough.. gah! To "crash and burn" SUCKS! Damn life resolution.

Times like this makes me so so SO grateful that I have Boyfie with me. He won't let me dig a hole and get in there to stay for the rest of my life. hehe. Thanks for pulling me out, hunny.

Anyway, now I'm back to being hopeful. I haven't received the rejection mail yet.. hahaha! Plus, I have next week to look forward to which is.. perfect timing really. I'll give myself a headache (and heartache) after the trip. weehoo!

That's it really. Nothing much to update except that I am.. alright.

A page off..

errr?

Person
You have no friends in common.
Person found you using the Friend Finder.

??!
How did that person find me when I don't remember who she is..? I'm horrible. Honestly. I don't think I was ever that popular to have people knowing me when I don't know them! So.. the only other explanation is.. AMNESIA.

Read Mraz's latest entry? I like his would've-speech.
Sounds exactly like it was from the person who wrote I'm Yours. hahahha! I'm a sucker for people who reflect on themselves apparently.

Alia asked if I wanted to go to Mraz's concert since Rihanna's would probably be on after his. bleh.. I wish money grew on trees.
meh. I would love to go. But I think my heart will break having to listen to I'm Yours and Lucky by *myself*. gah! See, I wouldn't care about these things if I was single. rawr!

If I actually had something to write about, this would've been a longer entry. But probably not since the fingers on my left hand are hurting after I played my guitar earlier today. gah! It wasn't nice to be reminded that playing it still hurts.. and that I still suck at it. Ah well.. guess I will just have to settle for listening to other people playing it then. ♥

Oh..! That person.. I think she was a housemate during my third year. Was she? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Indonesian mush ftw!

Dida made me listen to Rossa & Pasha's song called Terlanjur Cinta earlier. Now I'm addicted! hehe.

I was bored and I did this;

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Your Heart Takes Love Seriously
- You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
- In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
- You'd like your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.
- You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
- Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
- Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
- You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.
- In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Interesting questions, that one. They're all about animals. heh. I don't know how accurate this result is though.. my choices on animals are pretty much biased. (Like.. I'd prefer horses and birds 'cause they can pretty much roam anywhere they want to.)

Nothing much to blog about really. This is my very weak attempt at distracting myself from thinking about Boyfie too much -- but yeah.. fail!

8 days away!!

♫ ♪ do do do do dooo ♪ ♫
I am stoked about getting it over with. Since there's basically just one thing I'm worried about.. I'd really like to get it over with! It's like.. going to an interview.. or doing a public speaking in front of the class. Just suck it up, do your best and hope you'll get the job or pass with flying colours.
bahahahha!
Yes hunny, the thought of meeting your parents is like going for an interview or speaking in front of the class to me. heehee
So I'd like to just get it over withh!!!

mm.. okay.. basically I don't have anything much on my mind right now. It's completely filled with my trip to Singapore. heehee.
heeheeheeee.
heeheeee..
hahahhahahahha!
Sorry.. I just can't help myself.
I just find it funny that most of my friends (the ones who knew) are excited for me even when I was mostly worried. Even Dida said that it'll be alright and that I should be more worried about MY parents! hahahha. (And I do.. kinda.)

It was a total relief the second I'd told both of my parents about this trip.
dude. The last time I went, I told them through a text! HAHAHHAHAHHA!! I am definitely NOT the child you'd like to have, honestly.

grrr. Damn it. Why am I writing all this right here right noww?!
bleh. I keep sharing things I don't plan to share these days. ick.
I blame Boyfie. I always do. rawr!
Hunny, delete next week please!

♥

W-T-F wrong zodiac??!

Ophiuchus the 13th sign of the Zodiac - also known as Serpentarius, the Serpent Holder.

The constellation Ophiuchus has been known about since ancient times.
It was never added to the Zodiac chart as astrologers said that the Sun went straight from Scorpius into Sagittarius, disregarding the fact that the sun travelled through Ophiuchus for 19 days before entering Sagittarius.
(More to read..?: 1 - 2 - 3)

So.. just because the sun travelled through the star for only 19 days, it's okay to forget about the 13th sign? I don't know how I feel about that.
Maybe like the cat in the Chinese zodiac sign. haha! (Kyo-kun ftw!)
This is actually confusing, considering I talk about being a Sag a LOT. But from what I've read.. this.. "Ophi" doesn't sound too different from a Sag, so I should be able to carry on with my life like nothing have happened. (Can I really? haha!)

Ah well.. there's NO WAY I can accept the "actual true zodiac" really. My friends are too much of THEIR sign for me to believe that they're something else. (The Leos are too Leo.. The Aries can be nothing else but Aries.. and don't get me started on the Pisceans! hahaha! They're definitely not Aquas.)

Friday the 13th yesterday.. like ALWAYS, nothing happened! Bad.. good.. what ever. I have no idea why anyone even bother making any fuss about it anymore.
Maybe we should make a fuss over a new date. Tuesday the 24th.. *cue dramatic score*

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day! (still saying it with gritted teeth)
I remembered times when I actually went out on V-Day and feeling perfectly alright to be alone. yeah. Not anymore. I definitely don't want to go out today and actually feel that half of me is absent.
So I'm going to spend the day being bored and wishing for things I can't have or do. I'm going to write letters with a bunch of doodles on it to keep my mind distracted. (hah!)

I've told my mom about my trip. Funny stuff. Right after she asked me for the details, she went on about wanting me to get something for her while I'm there. hahahha! I think I got that fickleness of mind from her ♥ and I must say that I'm liking that trait today.

edited on 10:52 AM.
I just remembered.. I've been so into twitter lately, (twitterhea!) updating mine and responding to others'.. that I had a dream about tweeting! Funny thing was.. in my dream-tweet, I was responding to Boyfie's tweet! HAHAHAHA! As if he'd tweet. hahahahha!

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Oy vey..

Broken English gives me a headache.
Not trying to sound like a snob since my English isn't really that great.. sometimes :P Manglish, I'm fine with (though it's sometimes annoying -- but even I do it sometimes. But seriously.. I was just reading somebody's note; ..blabla was amazed location for..
Awesome. Even the location is amazed by itself.
Okay, maybe I am a snob. (and mean) hahahaha!

I can't help but think about patterns today. (related posts 1 - 2)
I was about to say that I'm over my pattern now, but that'd be a lie. I still like looking at certain type of faces (sigh) and what I have with Boyfie isn't exactly straight-forward is it?
It's been 4 years since I wrote my first entry about patterns and things seem pretty much the same. Now tell me that isn't a pattern.
I don't take the easiest route. I can't take the easiest route.

mm.. I had an odd dream earlier. I was with an acquaintance (I think) and he was speaking in perfect English. I remember being absolutely shocked with that bit. hahahha! Totally unexpected.. and odd.
And pointless to write about. haha!

Moving on.. I wish I sound like Yuna. haha! I think it'd make more sense if people want to listen to me sing when I sound like her. hehe.

Yah.. so.. No Rihanna concert tonight. I shall spend my night being bored then.
/me says with gritted teeth; Happy Valentine's everyone.

Oh bloody h....

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I wish I could stop myself the very second my music player plays Blue October's Hate Me. Yeah.
So.
Damn it!

I went out with Alia last night.
That girl was from her office and came to pick me up at about 11pm. sheesh. She mentioned about sending a cake to a friend and yes hunny, me being me - eagerly said "okay!", assuming that the friend was a girl for what ever reason.
So anyway.. we got there (a piece of roadway that leads to nowhere) and greeted by the sight of bright lights, an ambulance, a police truck, some more cars and a bunch of motorbikes.


duuuude.
We found ourselves at a shooting set where Rudy is driving Alex's car for one scene. I'm not really into cars or showbiz so.. meh! It was impressive the first time I saw the car drift around.. but of course, they had to take the scene again and again for "perfection" so after the third time, all I could say was.. "oookay.. next!"
Didn't happen as I would like it to though. I think they did the same thing a few more times and then stopped -- Rudy walked over to us and said that he'd drove the car 'til the clutch plate was worn out. haha! Alex wasn't too happy about that.

So anyway, the birthday person turned out to be O'an, (or Ohan, as Alia had ordered it to be spelled on the cake/brownie!) Rudy's brother.
Seems like I keep meeting new people these days. It just seem that way though. I don't exactly have their contact numbers or anything. Idris sent me home last night and I never asked for his number! And I've known the guy since high school. hahahaha.

I woke up too early again today. 7+.. seriously.
Got myself out of the house at 10+ and came home at 12+ 'coz I can't think of what else to do outside.
Soo.......
I got my tickets... and I've told my dad...
Guess I'm gonna suck it up.. pack my things next week.. go to Singapore.. and meet the parents. AAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!!
FREAK OUTTTTT!
yeah yeah, sure I'm going there to see Boyfie, but aaaaaccckkkk!!
Freak out!!!!

Oh dear God, I hope I'll be in my best behaviour. Please please.

Oh shoot..

Wordpress is so annoying.
I've tried pretty much every blogging site I came across, and Wordpress is nice, but I HATE custom templates!!! grr..

I'm trying out DOPPLR now. It's like Twitter for travel basically. heh.
I'd like to add my DOPPLR badge here but that would mean that I will have to re-do my template! gah! I probably should since I've been using this for a while, but I'm so uninspired!!

blah. blah blah blah.
blah.
blah!!

Title? No title.

Rihanna's concert is postponed.
grr. Why did she have to have a fight with Chris Brown so close to the concert date anyway? hahaha. Anyway, I was expecting this news after hearing about the fight. bleh.

I saw Debz did the Dating Profile Quiz on her blog, and I was bored.. so I did it and here's my result;

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love.

Your date match profile: Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living. Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Stylish 3. Big-Hearted 4. Romantic 5. Shy 6. Athletic 7. Intellectual 8. Adventurous 9. Sensual 10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Outgoing 2. Practical 3. Stylish 4. Adventurous 5. Intellectual 6. Wealthy/Ambitious 7. Conservative 8. Sensual 9. Athletic 10. Big-Hearted

I knew it!! I knew that I'm not really attracted to someone who is too similar to me! haha! Although.. I'm not really sure if this result is very accurate. bleh.

Okay now.. According to the Wedding Algorythm on Facebook, I Will Marry In: 1 YEAR AND 9 MONTHS.
errr... that's November 2010?
errr...... Ignore. IGNORE!!

Can you sense that I can't think of what to blog?
There IS news actually.. but but.. I can't bring myself to write about it! gah! I'm.. part excited, part freaking out. Depends on the time of the day really. Sometimes I get numb for a second then I get excited or nervous the next second. eeep!
I've been trying to muster the courage to tell my parents about stuff but I feel like it's too early to say anything!! Which means that THEY'LL have plenty of time to think of a hundred questions to ask me! aaaackkk!
FREAK OOOUUUT!!

I hope I'll be less cryptic the next time I blog. hehe.

Happy Thaipusam!

It was a pretty busy weekend for me and now I am absolutely and completely broke.
Went to the mall.. went to a night market.. went to the beach.. went for a karaoke.. blablablaa.. you can look at the pictures on my Facebook :P

Okay. I'm uninspired. And I'm blogging for the sake of blogging. bleh.
Last words; my sister is annoying.
And I miss you Boyfiieeeee!!!!

One too many guys.

TJ once said that I have too many guys in my life after I told him that I keep being told the things I already know. hehe.
It was an amusing comment.
Got me thinking if it is true.

Perhaps so.
I know Boyfie would agree. hahhaha. Sylly boi.

Well, I just don't think it'd hurt to have as many friends as you can keep. As long as they want the same things as you have to offer and nothing more.. (vice versa)
I think I'm lucky that I'm too absent-minded to see any ulterior motives -- not that there's any. (haha!)

Anything that should come off as "flirting".. I'd honestly just see it as them being silly. (And I'd play along..) So maybe that's why it took me a while to fall in love. haha!

I suppose I do have a bunch of guy friends. But that's all I ever thought of them; entertaining friends. The Jesters in my castle where I'm the Queen and there is only one King.

No offence to readers who happens to be a guy and also my friend; just so you know.. I don't mind being the jester in your castle too :)
That's what I signed up for anyway.

Here I go..

meh. Shut up.. head!
Am I the only one who thinks that Yellowcard - Only One is actually a really sad song?

I've been thinking about what Alia said to me the other day..
She had asked about Boyfie's religion and when I answered, she had this really big hysterical laugh. It was.. surprising. (I don't usually get surprised by my friends even when I acted surprised. oops!) I asked her to explain the laugh and her answer made me smile.. or smirk. (I don't think I was able to decide then.)
I suppose only those who has actually TALKED with me would know.

I'm feeling blue. Don't know why. I am not liking it. Save me..?
I think, lack of sleep always makes me feel blue. bleh.

Something random: I was at the post office earlier. The new RM1 and 50cents stamps were HUUGE!

Lets see..

I've been contemplating about getting Eeva a card since she told everyone that she's sending out V-Day cards.
Then, before I could actually decide, her card arrived! eeep! Sofia even drew for me! ♥ heehee. So, I decided to write a thank you note with one of my cutesy startioneries.. but to start, I will have to retrieve my boxful of cutesy-things that I acquired while I was still in high-school (and very much into cutesy things.)
It's been ages since I got the box down from the top of the bookshelf and to no surprise, it was covered in 8-inches of dust.


Naturally, when I took out my old things, I'd spend a good few hours perusing over it..
So there are my small collection of stationeries that I can't bring myself to use.. and dude! Filtering papers (err.. kertas turas!) that I stole from the science labs! (Also, I can't bring myself to use.) I wish we could get those easily but we can't! I used to use those to write messages back in school. bahahhaha! ♥

Also in that box was my old Cardcaptor Sakura organiser that I used when I was 16-17. Macam la organized pon! (I was so childish, I should be embarrassed. And I would be if I have matured, but I don't think I have! haha!)


I also kept a few old cards in that box apparently.
Azraai.. AZRAAAAIII!!
LOOKIE!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!
You're not the only one with the momentos!
You gave me that 2 years too late, tau! You said it yourself in the card. You were funny at seventeen, Pet. Now just irritating. What happened to you? hahahha!

Anyway, after choosing the stationery that I wanted to use.. I had to look for a marker, (one of the paper I'm using is glossy) so I retrieved my box of design-stuff.
To those who didn't know.. I was a design major, hence the 5 shades of gray for shading my "drawings".
I suck at both drawing and shading though. I'm artsy-mediocre. heehee

So! That's basically how I'd spent my afternoon. Looking through old things and remembering old stuff.. and not at all starting on the note I wanted to send to Eeva and Sofia. (Or looking through my archives as I mentioned earlier.) HAHAHAHHA!
That should explain why I didn't make any plans in my organizer, honestly. Pointless. heehee.

How about that..

I was doing my usual blog-hopping run and saw that Hafiz did this Personality Disorder Test.
This is what I get;

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Moderate
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

mmph. Apparently I'm a narcissist..? LIE! But really, what actually interests me about this was the fact that I'd done this same test before -- back in 2002! duuuude! How cool is it to have a proof of how I've changed? I have a lot more "moderate" now.. should be good, right? haha!

But excuse me, I'm not a narcissist! grr. Just because I'm a little selfish and I like praises, doesn't mean that I'm narcissistic! *sigh*
Think I'll look through my archives for old tests and re-do them again. Should be interesting. (To me anyway. EGAD!! Was I being narcissistic for saying that? ROFL!) Expect a couple of entries today, my friends..

On some other note, do we (Malaysians) really need to go to Singapore to watch Yasmin Ahmad's Muallaf? Our cencorship board is ridiculous lah. grr.

Stop calling me Aida.

My name is spelled Wanie; with an E. I didn't add it myself 'coz I thought it was cool. It's just spelled that way in my birth certificate. Maybe my mom thought it was cool.
Also, "Ida" is pronounced E-da, not I-da like I-pod.
Two little things that irks me so much; people misspelling my name and calling me by some other people's name.

I got a call from an employer just now. She wanted to see Aida tomorrow afternoon for a retail job. She had asked Aida to bring her picture and certificates, but Ida isn't even sure if she wants to go. So Ida made Aida to tell the lady that she'll call back tomorrow morning if she's going.

Perhaps I could start having multiple personalities.
Wanie is the stubborn, hot headed girl that wants what she wants, hopeful.. and wishful.
Ida is the prim and proper girl. Always try to show the world that she is strong and in control.
Aida is the one who is always confused, but tries to please other people and that includes Ida and Wanie.
mm.. yeah. That needs a bit more work, but it could turn out to be a good book I'm sure.

I don't know I don't know.. I'm not sure I want to be doing retail. Well, actually I don't mind it.. I was thinking of doing it again anyway, but I think I'll have to take two busses to get to that place. As much as I like travelling, I don't think I can stand getting on two busses for a job I'm not too crazy about. (See, for Kino, I had no trouble with the hour plus travel time.) The things I would do.. (like spend 1/5 of my pay on transportation alone.)

But yeah.. here I am.. with Aida leaning towards saying a "no" tomorrow morning. But Ida is wondering if she could afford being picky now that she's determined to achieve her resolutions while Wanie.. Wanie is Wanie. Too wishful and hopeful that she always get things wrong.

bah. You three suck!

update: Thank you for loving those three, hunny!

Filter button ftw!

I still think that the filter button is a brilliant idea, hun.
You know.. maybe like having the BCG-scar acting as a button that stops you from saying things that you shouldn't be saying. Press it and it'll filter out the unnecessary details that would've come out of your mouth. Stops me from being tactless with my "honesty". blah.
But you know me..
I won't start hiding things from you.. bleh

It's been an odd few couple of days.
I think I've learned something. But that something concerns the Boyfie so I won't share it here. After all, it's MY lesson to learn and not anyone else's.
But gah! It's weird feeling like this. If only I could run to him.

To have spent your life thinking about yourself.. and realizing that it's not so much about you alone anymore. I thought I heard the seconds stopped ticking. Everything I thought I knew was an entirely new thing.
mmph. Role-switch ftl!
But maybe that's why it works.. for me anyways.
And I can't bring myself to even want to change it in any way.

I'm so in love, it's ridiculous.

yeah. But I'm listening to this T_T

meh Alia..

I went to meet up with Alia at Pyramid earlier.
She got me a late birthday presie -- a ticket to Rihanna's concert!! duuuude!! That's got to be one of the most expensive things anyone's ever got me. Probably among the top tree. (The most expensive thing was something I bought myself actually! -- also a concert ticket. bahhahaha! FAIL!)

O yeah.. I'm looking forward to getting other people's sweat on my face now. hahahha! NOT!! But it should be fun. I should listen to some Rihanna's songs then; so I can fake my fan-mode better. (I doubt Alia would appreciate me acting like the idiot that I was at UOX. hahahha!)

Set myself on fire.

I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there, please don't let me die

I suck.

Saye tak tahu..
My mind decided to not have a single thought with depth so here I am staring at the screen for the past 20 minutes.. trying to come up with something.
I totally napped earlier which is of course something I shouldn't have done. Now I can't bring myself to fall asleep.

I hate this bit about myself. I envy the people who finds the night calming. I want to be able to rest easily instead of having to be so pooped that I pass out.
This restlessness is tiring.
Can't I be simple?

I used to think that you need to have bad things happening to you for you to feel like crap. blah. I'm actually in a good place, but I feel like shit, wtf?
I feel like I'm trapped in a deep dark well (Ringu?) and I am just too freakin' tired to shout for help. bah! Just let me stay and rot here.
What's the point of saving me when I'll feel like this again next month? Go save yourself instead.

I fear that nothing will ever be enough for me. What am I supposed to do then? If everything works out but I will keep wanting more. If this restlessness won't go away. What am I supposed to do?
I've got "love" covered, but it'd only calmed a part of me. And that part is drowning in nights like this, gasping for air.

mmph. Swear to God I had no idea what brought this on. Might be idiocy. Maybe there had been a permanent damage when I fell off the bed years ago.
I hate feeling so hollow when I know that I'm loved. I know that I'm lucky and blessed. I know that there are a bunch of good things coming my way, but I still feel the way that I feel.
I'm grateful for life.. but damnit, why do I sound like I'm unappreciative of it?!

I suck at being happy.

February 2, 2009

Sagittarius
Don't rely too heavily on your analytical skills when you are making a romantic move. Logic does not always apply to matters of the heart, and there is no predicting how people will act or react. Plus, if you think too much about every little word or glance, you'll paralyze yourself with details that just don't matter. So think with your heart. Be open and honest about what you feel -- just spill it when the time feels right! It's scary, but it's also thrilling.

Doesn't that sound familiar..?
bleh.

ehh?

Rare moment!!
Boyfie said he had enough sleep this morning! woaaahhh!

Okay, now.. Somebody asked me if I was Sarawakian yesterday.
I can't help but responded with a big "NOO!"
I've never even been to that part of the country before.. (going to this April!! To Sabah though, not Sarawak.)

So when I got home, I asked my parents if I looked Sarawakian. (stupid questions ftw!) My mom answered almost immediately that I could pass as someone from there. She reckons that I have bits of Chinese. (uhh.. the bit where I have a Chinese boyfriend..?) My dad on the other hand stared at me for a full minute before saying that I don't look really Chinese or really Malay either. gee thanks!

Which made me draw into the conclusion that THAT is probably why people keep telling me how I look like someone they know. I probably remind them of the Malays.. and Chinese they met. In a way, my look-alike are doubled in numbers! hahaha!

But seriously though.. Java + [Bugis + Minang] = Sarawakian??
hahahhaha! Okay. Think I should find something better to write about next time. This is so lame, I think my IQ dropped half a point for writing this.