Could've, would've, should've..

It hasn't been a very good week..

Moody moody.
Carefree people should never be kept indoors. Or forced to sit in front of a computer. Or being told that a friend of theirs must leave the classroom and sit in the office because they couldn't score 90% on their paper.
This week sucks.
It's like the week woke up on the wrong side of the bed, Monday morning.

I might have to do the speech during our graduation on behalf of the class. Or at least that's what Sallina and Alif told me.
I'm waiting on inspiration now.. (for the speech AND the blog entry I kept talking about. hahahha!)

I should head to bed.
Get my mind wrapped up in Boyfie's voice and... later wake up to watch the final Champions League match and try to read bits of my manual. hehehe.

The bit where I smell like somebody else.

Okay, it's late.. I know.. but I think I should take a quick shower. I don't like the thought of going to bed while I smell like someone else. So.. so.. SO.. not me. Even if I stink, I'd rather it to be MY stink, and not someone else's perfume or cologne.. it's starting to drive me crazy! (Not in a very good way.)

I did pretty good in my exam earlier. Could've done better though. (Oh dude, I have a very high expectation of myself.. only reason why I get so easily depressed most times.)
I'm hoping that my friends who'd have to re-sit the paper this Wednesday would score really well. (Oh yes, we have re-sits too! Who says being a steward/stewardess is easy? YOU WISH!) [I really should start writing my entry for the company's blog..]

I need to update my profile picture soon. I've switched back to an older pic than of me in my uniform though. I've been getting some unknown "friend" requests and it's bugging me. And I have some guy (with no profile pic and ONE friend) who sent me a message just to ask me to tell him more about my career. WTH?! Like I would respond. I don't take our tagline THAT seriously.
I do not want oddballs and stalkers as friends, thank you very much.

So, note to people who'd like to add me on Facebook (if there are any!), please say something and not just add me and expect me to treat Facebook like anyone would treat MySpace. [Because then I'd think of you as an oddball or a stalker, as mentioned above.] Seriously. (But honestly, I generally do not add anyone that I have no friends in common with. That's basically my thumb rule. hehe)

Okay. Need my shower.
Then I have less than 5 hours to sleep before the craziness starts again.

Stupid fever..

I hate getting sick.
Not just because I FEEL sick, but mostly because it depresses me.
I hate how sickness makes me think of death.
I hate how everytime I cough, I'd think that my lungs is deteriorating. Or that when I feel that my head is so warm, I'd imagine that my brain is bubbling up and that I'll get seizures from it.

And I am all by myself and no one will hold me down or keep myself from biting my own tongue..
ughh..
See.. sickness depresses me, I was not kidding.

I'm honestly tired..
I hate that I get upset by the smallest things. I hate how lonely I get sometimes. And that only bothers me most when I am unwell. wth!
I think I should stop now. Feels like I'm writing too much somehow.

My poor abandoned blog..

Perhaps I could say that this week has been the busiest week I've had so far since I started my training. I mean, just look.. Not a single update during the whole weekday! (and I didn't shoot a single photograph!)

I had two exams in Wednesday, my re-test on my "announcement-making" skills on Thursday.. a bunch of dance practices.. and LOADS of mood swings along the way.
I did alright in both of the exams.. scored well enough, but I expected more. hahaha! It's just annoying when I had a good thing going on and then comes FOH (Fundamentals of Hospitality) to ruin my good streak. gah!
But I'm happy to say here that I got rated for my announcement test! weeehoo! (Basically I now have the license to talk on the PA system on board.. hehhe!)

There will be another exam on Monday.. (woohoo! *sarcastically*) and then my batch will start our safety programme. SEVENTEEN DAYS worth of safety programme. And they say that it'll be the hardest subject of all the subjects we've gone through so far.

Feels like all I do these days is talk about my training. I think I'm getting bored. Looking forward to next weekend when I should have something more exciting to talk about. hehe.

I've been meaning to start my entry for the company's blog, but I can't seem to fake enthusiasm right now. (Not that I wish to fake it, but since I am clearly not enthusiastic about it at the moment.. I can't even fake it!)
I'm coughing so much so suddenly. blah!

A happy Wanie..

(read: A hyper Wanie..)

is a well fed Wanie.


heehee.

Such a difference between last night and today.
Loads of thanks to Dida. We went to the mall earlier and got some good food, and good buys. I am HAPPY to announce that I can now wear skirts to work without getting blisters on my feet! (I used to have to borrow my mom's heels but now I have my own pair! yayyy!)

I still haven't done my assignment (or washed the gunk off my face!) so I should stop writing this blog and start working on my work. Feeling so lazy though. I'm not really fond of "typing" notes.

Aghhhhhh!!

Fuck feelings.
Seems like all I do these past few days is cry.
hahahahha! Bloody female hormones.

I don't know what to say.
How can one be in love and heartbroken at the same time?
How can I be so grateful for the things I've been blessed with and yet feel guilty about them at the same time?
How can one already have so much and still wanting more?

mmphh. Somebody hit me on the head so I'll stop thinking.
Incredible how it took only 2 minutes to completely change how I feel.
Fickle fickle fickle..

Hello, Photoshop!

Finally I get to upload a picture where I am actually HAPPY to upload. heh.
Thank you for the installer Alif! Although I'm not exactly sure how to crack it. hahhahaha! Agak bongok di situ. Reti pakai je. hehhe.


These are some of the people that I hang out with, day in and day out while I'm at the academy. Honestly, I feel lucky to be able to click easily with these guys.
God has been kind to me.. in so many ways..

hmm.. Now I don't know what to say after that. Everything's a big ole jumble of mess in my head so I'll just shut up for now.

Bloodyf*..

Part One

TGIF.

Aku dah laa tak sehat nye, ade lak orang tua bebel bebel time balek umah. Dasar saiko. Malas nak layan. Tak sabo nak tinggal kat luar. Tak balek umah baru tau. Padan muka rindu, orang takmo layan daaah. la la la la la..

So again.. TGIF.
I won't have to "need" his services during the weekend. (Oh, it's so obvious of whom I'm referring to in the previous paragraph.)

Selamba saja sedangkan my cousins baca this blog! WAHAHHAHAHHA!!

Oh, I am so spiteful, you have no idea. (I could've written a nastier remark but I waited about an hour from the time I got nagged to the time I started writing which gives me the time to leave out the seriously dark, cruel, dan kurang ajar intentions.)
Now let's move on to something more cheerful.

Part 2

I scored 94% on my Aviation exam! woohooo!
Sure, I wanted full marks but I'm extremely relieved that I passed. Average score so far.. A!
Perhaps I was meant to be where I am right now.. heehee.

The graduation committee didn't have that much of awful things to say about our performance. YAY! So what we really need right now is to sharpen up our current steps and we'll be rocking along the stage. Go - go - oh-nine - oh-nine! *singing to the tune of Power Rangers' theme*

I think I'm having this flu/fever thing from studying too much -- which is incredible since I've never experienced this before during my years at school. (Oh, now I'm making confessions of how little I studied in school.)

Oh ohh, we were briefed on how to blog FOR the company earlier this week -- which is AWESOME! I will so try sending in an entry. (When I don't feel too sick or when I actually have the spare time to jumble up some words for another blog other than mine!) I mean, duuude! Here's one way where I can yap about the people in the company (and maybe some bits about the company too) without having to worry about what constitutes as a "misconduct"!! hahahha.

But for now, I'll just settle for a long rest in the weekend and get as much TLC that I can through the phone from Boyfie.
sigh.
Happy Annimonthsary hunny..

Happy hour!!

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHA!

Not a bad Monday.
My hair was uncooperative like all Mondays, nothing new there.
Class was excruciatingly dull, but Adi and I found a new way to kill time. HAHAHAHHAHA!!!
Friends were awesome. *waves at Hairul, Murni, Alif, Lydia, Luqman, Mimi, Bryan and Adi* (in case they ever stopped by)
I'm liking the Malay dance since I don't feel too much like a stick that moves.
Not looking forward to spending the day in the computer room tomorrow (brainwash session!!) but I should be thankful that it's not another long day of drab lecture. So hey-ho! Let's GO!
woot wooot!

*swishes whip*

footnote: Missing Boyfie.. like I always do. Nothing new there.

Less is more.

All my life, I always thought that I would never be one of those boring girls who couldn't do anything without their guy's permission.
Well, Boyfie never actually demanded that I get his "permission" before doing anything but I must say that I've been pretty boring. (yikes!)

Honestly though.. to not be boring is SO easy. Especially for me whose always been pretty fickle. The challenge now is to be okay with being boring and to be really honest, it's HARRRDDD!!! *sigh*
I can understand Boyfie perfectly how worried he can get sometimes because I know me, and so does he. hehe.

oy, I don't know why I'm typing this. Boyfie won't be happy. grr. I have no idea why I think the way I do and say the things that I say. They are so unnecessary sometimes but I say them anyway because they're taking up precious space in my head.
Honesty is not always the best policy but most of the time, I just can't shut up.

So anyway.. I was reading Alif's blog just now and there's a 'ps' for me where he apologized for not being able to do a super ending for our dance. Sure, I'd like a super ending where the audience would go "ooh".. but. Thinking how Boyfie would feel.. I am SO GLAD that we can't do a super ending, Alif!! hahahhahaha!

It's Monday again...
Classes.. dance practices.. I'm happy to say that I am not yet bored of this. The waking up every morning is beginning to become a drag though. Routines KILLS me, really, but I'm holding on to the bit where once I'm at the academy, I'll be learning different things.

sigh. I am so flawed..

How I became stupid.

I was told that I need to re-train myself for the announcement thing.
That was a slap in the face, honestly. It feels like I just failed English -- and I DON'T FAIL ENGLISH. Never.
Apparently I spoke too fast and Mr. Fauzi said to me; "Speed kills."
Okay.

The week has been pretty tiring; with all the practice for our graduation (which will be more than a month away!)
I suppose it's better to be prepared..
I'm really glad that it's the weekend! I can finally rest my achy body and blistered feet.

mm.. okay.
Enough typing (even though it's really short), I need my rest. Really. heh.

Hello, new week.

Hello, period too..

The week started alright, but then again it's only Monday..
I honestly have NOTHING to write about, but I do have this itch where I need to write, so here I am.

We're finally done with Communications class. (English, basically.) Done our role plays.. which were pretty silly despite it's requirement of being a sappy story.
Remove (which was the name of my group) managed to collect the most points. (O yeah, that's what you get when you put the super geek and geek in the same group!)
Why Remove, you ask?
We couldn't think of a name for ourselves so we decided to flip to a random page on the dictionary and point to a word! hahahha. We're just awesome like that. heh. Of course, if you want a nicer version of how we got our name.. it was simply our aim to remove ourselves from the ordinary to the extraordinary.
hahahahhaha!! hamekk kau!

Moving on.
We're starting our Voice Enrichment class tomorrow. That's basically for our pronunciation and intonations for the announcements we'll make on board once we're on-line. By the end of the class (Wednesday), we will be rated on how well we are able to do those announcements.
I'd really like to do well. After all, English is supposedly my forte. Emphasize on the word SUPPOSEDLY, please. bleh.

Oh oh.. The boys had to pick the girls' name for the performance at the end of our training and Alif picked my name! wooot! "Meant to be" lah konon.. At least he knows about my giggling fits lah. Kan kan?
We are one monogamous couple on the dance floor. heh.

Okay, I think this is the most I've written on my blog about my life as a trainee.
Expect no updates in the next coming days..
:)

I need..

HELP.

It brings me heart ache everytime I think about what I need.
It's heartbreaking when I need more than what I can have.
Why must we need more?

So last night I figured that holiday breaks is not meant for me.
I am destined to wear myself out so I wouldn't have the time to THINK about things that would make me happy -- while I realize how unhappily incomplete I really am.
Just get busy, and be too tired that I just plop myself in bed and fall asleep.
And forget.

I hate myself when I'm alone.
It's not like I actually need to have people around me constantly.
I just need a constant distraction that would take my mind off of myself.

:)

I'm fine, I promise.
hahhahahha!!

We were asked to write 4 adjectives to describe ourselves on Wednesday.
On Thursday, Ms. Samantha asked me why I described myself with the words that I'd used since I did not seem like them at all.
Well, it isn't fair for her to say that when I was hyperventilating after laughing so much with Nat and Lydia at Adi's silly ideas.

It's pathetic to say that no one really knew what runs through my mind most of the time.
My existence in life is pathetic.
hahahahhhahaha!
And I know that I don't look like the type who would say that.

I am a good pretender -- as long as I wasn't given a pen and paper (or in this case, a laptop) to write out my thoughts.
Which is of course another reason why I'll be great at my job! yayy!