Have I jinxed it?

Just when I write about being happy..

I am back in Penang..
My set were only supposed to do four sectors -- touching down at 2240. But after two sectors we were told to do AOR instead of PEN, touch down at 2315..
When we arrived back in KUL after the final two sectors, we got the call to do ONE MORE SECTOR.. ughhhh!!!
Damn it! I had plans!
Dida and my parents were at the airport to come pick me up!!
Damn ittttt!!
I couldn't help feeling emotional over it. I hate that I promised to be there. I hate to have my family waiting for me. I just hate everything about it! ughhh..

And to top it off, I just heard word of a sad story from a friend.
Which sucks big time.
Honestly there are days that I just HATE.. being.

Anyway.. I am still relatively happy I suppose.
It's just.. I'd feel better if all had been according to plan..
On a side note, my new Shuffle rocks!! bahahhahaha! Wish they had it in red.. oh well.

Missing you, Encem!

Happy.

♥

It's odd to admit to yourself that you are, matter of factly; HAPPY.
Because I am.
Sure I still complain about the same ole' things.. wish that Encem would call or text me more.. hope that I'll get to spend more days off overseas.. But I am finding myself happier these days.

..despite having a heated discussion with Alif on what "relationship" really means the other day. hahaha! (It was a good "discussion" by the way..)

I have lesser things to complain about, to put it more plainly.
I thank God for the good days that I've been blessed with for the past week.
Pay day came early (and it was goood... All the long days last month was absolutely worth it!), I had a good set of crew on my flight to Jakarta and Perth.. I managed to get myself Jakarta's Hard Rock Cafe guitar-pin.. I had a good time in Perth; shopping (bahhahaha!).
My entire body aches, honestly.. I'm in the busy-phase of my roster. But the aches couldn't dampen my spirit -- especially after a lady-passenger told me that her elderly mother thinks I'm pretty yesterday. HAHAHHAHAHA. I mean, seriously.. if it's something a man said to me, I would doubt his sincerity/intention. But since it came from an old woman, I MUST really be pretty! ..right?
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!

It's been six days since I last saw Encem though, so I am missing him like crazy.
Funny how a song actually reminded me that I am HAPPY.
I still need to work on my communications skill though. I have a feeling that that bit plays a big part on my newfound happiness.

I suppose once you're committed to a relationship, you should accept the other person for what ever they are. But you wouldn't really know if they truly accept you unless you show yourself to them..
Okay, that's a bit random but I think I'm referring to that discussion with Alif on Saturday. Just maybe.

Anyway, I need to get some sleep.
Btw, thank you God for giving me the chance to appreciate life. Also, thank You for Your perfect timing of giving me trouble when there is someone who could lend me a hand. Thank You for sending someone as patient as Encem my way.. Thank You for my good health, so far (hehe).. And thank You for my fate of having this job that I can now listen to songs from my spanking new iPod shuffle while wearing LaSenza undergarments.
hahahhahahahahahahahahha!!

I am happy. Alhamdulillah..
Please keep me this way.

The 26th.

I had a pretty good birthday..
Though I wish that I didn't have to turn TWENTY-SIX.. but I had a pretty good birthday..

Despite coming home to an empty house..
Despite Boyfriend asking me to COOK after returning from Sandakan flight..
I had a pretty good birthday.

I had good food and I had cake.
And boyfriend got me my perfume. The one that has been discontinued. heehee. It was sweet.

Of course, this all happened on the twelfth and the early morning of the thirteenth as I am working on my birthday. (And I am blogging now from my hotel room in Penang..)
Anyway, I had a good birthday..

Just wanted to let you know that.

December.

December has always been a curious.. curious month to me.
It being my birthday month, I always wonder what's in store for me.. always wishing that things will be good.
I hope it'll be good.

But I got quite a shock yesterday afternoon after receiving an e-mail of a death of an acquaintance. I didn't know her that well.. I'd only worked with her once long ago. But I remembered her being this sweet and funny girl.
I don't know. Trying to relate someone who seemed so happy with death didn't seem right. It's just so.. untimely.

I don't know.. it's been bugging me all day honestly.
If I die, the natural response would probably be; 'ah well, it's been long time coming..'

It's weird. Coincidentally I'd been having visions of death lately. Not necessarily mine. I wondered how it'd be if one of my family members died..
Or if boyfriend had an accident. Would there be anyone who'd let me know?
Or would it take days before anyone realized that I hadn't known. Maybe after days of him not coming home and not answering any of my phonecalls.. I'd start tracking his friends and only then they would tell me the news?
I worry about these things sometimes. I'm not exactly in his "emergency call list". And even if I am, if I am working.. it won't be possible for anyone to contact me.
So it sucks.
It sucks when I wonder about these things.

And the other day Dida brought news of home that I am not at all happy about.
Everything sucks.
December began with sucky sucky things!

So now I'm scared. Struck by a terrible worry everytime Encem walks out the door. I hate it when people leaves to someplace I couldn't follow.
It sucks.

So tell me December.. is this how it's going to be all month or should I finally learn how to quit hoping.