Sampai mati..

You're supposed to be more patient in the Ramadhan month.. The Holy month.
Lebih bersabar.. Lebih pemaaf..
It's not just about refraining yourself from eating and drinking, it's also about fighting off temptations and doubling your good deeds.

Time ni jugak kau akan nampak orang orang hipokrit, orang orang yang kuat buat alasan.. And people who surprises you (which happens to be my personal favourite!)

Aku suka bila fly, ada Cina or Indian yang puasa sama ngan kau. Dia tau sebab yang Muslim tengah puasa, so dia pun hormat, tak makan depan orang..
Tak ramai crew macam ni, tapi ada.. Aku suka!
Tapi ada juga yang ala ala tak larat, pukul 10 pagi dah berbuka.. Paling hebat, tech crew! Pastu berani tanya aku dah makan ke. Macam ni ke kau nak jadi leader? Haihh.. Sedih rasanya.

Then ada orang yang macam aku, yang tak buat anything different dari bulan bulan lain selain daripada tak makan dan minum waktu siang hari. Amalan baik yang aku buat -- sama. Benda tak elok yang aku buat -- sama. So orang takleh kata aku hipokrit. "Tak makan saman", YESS..

Anyway, here's a confession.. Harini aku banyak gila mencarut. Tapi yang hebatnya tak satu pun terlepas kat mulut. Dalam hati semuanya.. Tapi apa beza dalam hati ngan kalau sebut, ye dak? Sama je tak elok.

Sungguh aku sakit hati harini. Sakiiiiit sangat. Menyampah nak mampos sangat sampai aku MALAS nak carik makan untuk berbuka. Masih dikira ke puasa aku ni pun? Whatever, aku mogok lapar. Perasan jadi Gandhi kejap.

Apakah kesinambungan orang yang kau sayang sajalah yang boleh buat kau menangis? Memang buat aku marah. Aku taknak sayang sesape dah, boleh tak??
Aku letih bila toleh kiri kanan, aku takde sape pun yang boleh kasi pinjam bahu kejap. Lelah hati tau taakkk??

Fedap aku sikit sikit camni. Kau admit kau sayang aku, and yet tak sekali pon kau support my emotional needs. What the hell is your problem?!! And yes, it is YOUR problem sebab last time aku check aku tak mintak benda lain pon dari kau.
And yet sampai hati kau biar aku terkonting konting kat sini.. Sampai mati aku ingat.

Benci. I hate myself for hating all these people! Aku letih!!
Sudah.. No more shopping for me. Aku nak simpan duit banyak banyak pastu nak pergi jauh dari sini. Gi mampos semuanya!

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The good life.

I am truly loving life at the moment..
Alhamdulillah..
It's times like this when I just can't help being grateful to the life I've been given.

Anyway, currently in Incheon. Indubitably feeling glad that I was blessed with this part of my roster. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for an awesome 738 trip! Hahahha..
Good things comes to those who wait, my friends. heehee

My set were so-so, but I am really enjoying the company of one of my stewardesses.
She's an awesome Pisces. I bet I won't get the chance to fly with her again.. sigh.

Oh well, my bags are packed. I miss the comforts of home. I miss Encem even though I saw him in KK the other day. I'm excited to show Dida what I bought for her and Kina's Kiddies! I am also excited about the two days off I am getting.
Hehehe I miss home!!! Hihihihi

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Fixation with Photography.

It may not have show in this blog, but I really do love photography.
Been crazy about it since I was young.
Funny enough though, I never personally own a digital camera! The Konica-Minolta I've been using is actually Dida's. (Like a bunch of other things that I "own".. hahaha!)

What I do have is a Nikon SLR, Supersampler, Fujifilm Instax 210 and recently added to my collection is a Spinner 360°. Oh yes, I'm a film-freak!
I know I should probably own a DSLR by now but honestly I just couldn't be bothered by it -- just yet. Too bulky to carry around, and the one small enough that I might like costs too much. (And yes, I used the word "cost" instead of "worth" because like I said.. I just couldn't be bothered by it just yet.)

I remember my first functional camera being a Kodak point-and-shoot that I bought for fifty Ringgit. It didn't even come in a box! I think I was in standard five or six.. Fifty ringgit required some weeks of saving. And getting the films developed was pricey too! (Still is, honestly.)

Oh well, it did the job back then.
When I got to high school I joined the Photography Club -- which means free pass to leave the class when there were "events" in the school. Trust me to find a legit excuse to skip class. heh heh hehh.

Then I went to college and got the Nikon FM10 while my friends got themselves a semi-automatic.
Playing with the settings and the cable release are just too funny sometimes..
Oh well, I love this camera. I have no idea how old it really is. I bought it in 2004 in a second-hand shop in Pertama Complex. It takes awesome pictures. Well, I take awesome pictures.. hahahha! I get a different feel when I'm using an SLR instead of a point-and-shoot. I have to say that I miss using this camera. I still have it with me, it moves with me each time I move into a different place but I just couldn't bring myself to carry it around where ever. But I'd bring it to Europe again if I get the chance, definitely!

The Supersampler and Instax 210.. Captures movements in four frames and looks like a Polaroid respectively. I find it hard to take awesome pictures with these since you require natural light to get the best exposure. The picture will come out too dark if you take indoors with the Supersampler while using the flash on the Instax gives out a pretty harsh light on the subject. sigh.

So anyway, I haven't tried out my new toy though.. I'm assuming that it needs natural light as well, so I've gotta wait until I'm doing some outdoor activity. hahaha!

Oh yeah... since I've bought a bunch of lingerie this past month, I am trying to tell myself that I have enough -- so NO LINGERIE FOR TWO MONTHS! huhuuu.. I should make it three, but I know I can't help a good deal..
Been thinking about getting a film scanner, so I wouldn't have to spend too much money on getting prints. It should be a good investment as I wish to resurrect my passion for photography..

Hey budak gemok!

Pantang betul aku bila orang pandang rendah cabin crew nih.. Nak je aku reply, "kalau kau TERE sangat, kau jadi la cabin crew!"
Tapi bila difikirkan balek, kalau aku dah menyampah kat orang tu, nak ke aku dia jadi cabin crew? Eeee yakeng! Tak sudi ye.

Oh well, time time camni la aku kene grow up, let go of my anger.. Aku tak rugi apa pun jadi cabin crew. It's not as if aku takde choice lain KENE jadi cabin crew. Dah aku memang NAK, so I just have to accept these low minded people. Kan? Work hazard katanya..

Sungguh aku bangga jadi cabin crew. I've never imagined myself being proud of a desk job.. "Woohooo aku seorang accountant!!" Hahahahhahahaha (no offence to the accountants out there..)
Everyone has their calling; and mine is to melayan pe'el passenger sambil jalan jalan tengok dunia.

Kalau lah aku tak buang masa dulu sambung study lepas SPM.. I wish I had joined the airline straight from school! But when I think about it, if I had done that.. I wouldn't have known some bunch of people whom had touched my life. Ramai kot..
My screw ups definitely turned me into the person I am today, dan sikit pun aku tak menyesal. Syukur alhamdulillah!

Alhamdulillah jugak sebab aku dah pandai bergaduh tanpa mengeluarkan kata kata kesat. Tak ke macam budak budak jadinya kalau bergaduh camni;
A: kau bodoh!
B: kau lagi bodoh!
A: manade, kau lagi bodoh la.
B: kau bangang!
A: kau lagi bangang!
Hahhahahahaha! Sampai esok tak sudah.. Oh well, I'm proud to say that my parents taught me better than that! Hahahhaahahahahaha

Adohai.. Kelakarnye time zaman skolah.. Oops! Dah terkeluar topik!

Anyway, later harini kene buka dalam aircraft lagi.. Tak best. But at least tonight I'll be in a hotel room where I won't be reminded of the emptiness at home.
But for now, I really should get some more sleep!

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Kisah mak sentap diam diam..

My batch during training weren't known for anything. We were quite close-knit to each other I guess. When we got online, everyone went along with everything and anyone.. So there isn't any particular person whose famous for their "attitude" or work ethics.

So usually when someone asks me who was in my batch, I'd list out their names.. and people won't recognise any of them. Even if they did, they'd take a long pause before describing their looks.. Sometimes they got it right.

Today I flew with one of my twin-batches.. I didn't know her.. She was unfamiliar to me. She then suddenly asked if I was in the same batch as Encem.

Ehhhhhhhhh????

Of all the names, she mentioned Encem!
Terkejut.. Sentap..
Why Encem??
I smiled.. Tried not to claim my "territory" by actually saying that Encem is my boyfriend. huhuuu..

I think I was jealous. I suppose I could say that I hated it when another girl uttered his name. Pshhh! Especially when the girl in question said that she had suddenly thought of him.. Hmmph!

Apparently they did a Manila nightstop together a while back, and she happened to just got back from Manila before she joined my set.
Yea yeaaa..

Anyway, I liked that girl. We yapped a lot during the flight. Good thing that she never mentioned Encem's name again afterwards. Hahahhahahahha!!


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Title-less new entry.

So it's been a while..
I have been thinking of writing something for the blog but I just couldn't find anything worth sharing. So pardon me if this entry seems a bit unworthy.

Today happens to be my Fiance's birthday. heehee. Not exactly parents-approved fiance. Just someone that I call my fiance since Raya '99.
Anyway, I am finding myself missing a lot of people from my past lately. Not that I am not thankful for my life today, but I wish I hadn't been so easy to move on and forget where I've been.

I suppose you could say that I am actually the "right-now" kind of person. I get immersed with what ever that's in front of me now to remember the old stories or think ahead. My closest friends are ever-changing. Unlike Encem whose had the same comrades since school.

I've been reading some old entries and here's what I find;
1. Gemini-guys had always been sweet to me. I think they've simply figured out how to be a "friend" and when to turn on the charms.. (and yes, Encem is a Gemini.)
2. Bahijah used to be really funny! Not saying that she's not anymore.. but I haven't had the chance to see or even talk to her in ages..!
3. I used to really hate cigarettes and smokers -- as all people who smokes, I think. hahahahha!

I have this one thought floating around in my head.. but I don't think I can write about it. It's just something that shouldn't be accepted in our society. (To be truth, I think a lot of my thoughts aren't something that's acceptable in this society! hahahhaha!)