Of jealousy.

Encem and Bestie received an email to attend a "briefing" at the academy next week.
I on the other hand did not receive any invitation to this secret meeting.
I suppose it's not really a secret.. But as I was not included in it, it does feel like a secret to me.
The main point to this -- I am not wanted in that group.

AND IT SUCKSSS!!
I hate being left out!
And apparently it's regarding our contract.. So what, I'm not good enough to be a permanent crew???
EFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!
Benci benci benci!!!
Fuck lah. Malas nak cakap dah. Somebody bang my head to the wall so I could forget about this!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did get an email about the new hairstyles though.
Apparently we can let our hair down now. It's going to feel weird if I do. I'd be excited about it if I am not thinking about that bloody briefing. Four sessions and I'm not in any of them, thank you very much!

Makes you think..
Maybe I'm not really crew material. Entah apa laa aku buat selama ni. Memain sangat kot.
Tak layak.
Time for me to act like this is nothing and it's not bothering me at all...

Went for a spa earlier. Jacuzzi, massage and a little facial. Kinda nice! The masseuse fixed the kink on my back and complimented on my skin -- waheyy! I'll be a bimbo for a while and dwell on that one sole compliment I got today!
Earlier, an elderly man offered to buy me a drink at Starbucks (which I declined because I had just bought one, and because he was STARING all the while and made me really uncomfortable,) but I couldn't take that as a compliment of any sort since Encem said he was practically hitting on every single female he saw. And yes, I saw that perverted twinkle in his eye. pffft!

After the spa, Encem and I somehow ended up in VIVA (even though we actually had Mid Valley in mind) and saw Prometheus. Throughout the film I just couldn't help thinking of its similarity to Alien.
==SPOILER ALERT!==
xx And yes, it turned out that the thoughts correlate. xx
Highlight the space between if you wish to read.

Okay, nothing else to share..
I need time to successfully deceive myself that I truly don't care about the current events. Sure, I'm happy for Encem and Bestie.. in a way. hahahahha! But this entry isn't titled "Of happiness," so yeahh...
I'm not exactly a nice person. I'm not great at faking feelings. Especially when I am writing MY blog. I'd never been a graceful loser. pffft!

So take note, I shall be in a very... very dark place for the time being.