Trauma?

Perhaps some of you might have got the gist from my Instagram, I was a victim of a snatch crime yesterday morning. You know, all this while you've read and heard of it in the news.. I find being the person in this sort of story kinda surreal.

It happened right in front of my apartment compound.. Just next to Dida's car with her waiting inside. It happened so quickly and like I said, surreal.

It was a man on a motorbike, snatched my sling bag and rode off the opposite direction of the road. I suppose the speed of it made me spun on the spot and fell elbows first on the ground. I guess I should be thankful that my arms cought most of my weight.

Dida screamed quite hysterically, which now I find funny. She's being super protective of me now but I don't see how that's helpful. It could happen to anyone really. Some people are just rotten to the core, you can't really avoid from these sort of things happening.

To be honest I feel kinda bad for Dida.. She saw the whole thing right in front of her. Sure it sucks being the actual victim of the crime, but to see your loved being the victim and not be able to do anything while it happened? I think that sucks even worse.

I'm not sure if the incident has left me traumatized.. I doubt anything could ever make me not want to go out! But I can't stop my mind from replaying the incident over and over again. Feels like I could've done more.. Hold on to my bag a little more stronger.. Stand sideways when I saw the motorbike approaching.. Opened the car's door a little sooner.. Jogged towards my sister's car.. Snapped the motorbike's registration number..

I really wished that the whole thing was a dream.. I can't stop wanting a do-over because honestly, I am pissed!

I want my things back!!

I want my Billabong bag back, I want the Coach wristlet that Dida gave me back, I want the Moleskine journal that Alif got me for last year's birthday back, I want the awesome pair of shades that I got for RM 8 in Debenhams back, I want my cigarette case back, I want my two Bourjois lip crayons back! I want them back!!

Bloody snatcher will never have a quiet life. I curse him 'til the day that I die.. I hope he'll spend the rest of his life with an excrutiating cancer then die a violent death! A bloody accident on the way to the hospital, perhaps.

I don't care.. He won't ever live an easy life for causing me pain.

I can't imagine myself ever forgiving him.

But I am grateful that I came out of it with minor cuts and bruises on my elbows and knee. Grateful that my head (or face!) never touched the ground. Grateful that I had my phone in my hand or I'd be completely lost for not having anybody's number memorized.

Things could be worse, and I am grateful that that was not the case.

Alhamdulillah..

Having lost my things did not make me cry. I am sad, yes but mostly angry. But seeing the look on my family's face.. That made me tear up!

Anyway, I am currently in Osaka.. Just returned from Rinku Outlet buying things that I spent with the money Mama lent me, despite everything. Hahhaha! But man, I've got a LOT to do when I get back!! Gahhh!

Rumour has it..

So apparently I'm married.
Don't know what I can say about that.. Dumbfounded really.
Some people just seem to be able to say more about me than myself! How amazing is that?

Recently I flew with a colleague who was so SURE that I was married -- I swear it was as if she was trying to convince me that I did have the wedding! She then mentioned the wedding card at the notice board during our time at the lounge -- one that ironically said "Hazwani & Khairul".. or something like that.
I remember laughing at the card when I saw it.
But it was NOT an invitation to MY wedding. Nope.
Like I would stick an invitation card as openly as that.. pfft! (I don't exactly like that many people to begin with.. hahahha!)

Then of course there was this;

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!
Okay, I doubt anyone would confuse me with this Wani person. Still, it made me laugh when I saw this copy of Sinar at the news stand last year.

Then last week, one of my favourite supervisors attempted to confirm with me that I was married too. Well, he got the wrong "Wanie".. the person he was referring to was actually Syazwani -- which isn't even called Wani by our peers! Like, seriously. Then he commented, "couldn't believe someone as wacky had gotten married.." thinking if I had truly got hitched. Whatever that means.
I'm not meant to get married? ooh?

So anyway, today during the first hour of my flight.. One of my crew, which happened to be an acquaintance (one that I've known since my earlier days in the company and have actually seen outside the company time) did something pretty odd. At the time, I was sitting and my left palm was facing up on my lap. So this steward just grabbed my hand and flipped it so the top of my hand was facing up. He looked at my fingers for a moment and gave a small nod.
WHAT - THE - HECK?!
How is it that a LOT of people thinks I'm married?? OYYY!!
It is quite disturbing, to be honest.

For one, if I am married and still behave the way that I do.. Man, I'm a bad bad wife! hahahhaha! Or have I been acting like a married woman?? Damn, now I feel old. Thank you, people.
So, NO.. I am not married. I'm pretty sure I would've nagged how I hate planning a wedding in here first.

The idea of marriage still makes me laugh, to be honest. Poor Encem, I can never take him seriously. Perhaps I'll stop laughing once he actually say something to my father.
Sigh. I wonder if I'll ever be ready for marriage... I don't think I am right now.
I just hope no one will ask me if I am married anytime soon, because I have a feeling I might blow up if someone does.

I feel guilty..

I've always said that this blog has been the soul thing that I could really commit myself to.
I've had this blog for eleven freakin' years now and for the first time ever I had a two-month (nearing to three!) long hiatus!
I'm sorry blog (and readers!), it was not intentional. Life got in the way somehow. And I am partly blaming this past hiatus to my phone for being so distracting!

Shall I update you on everything that's been going on since I last wrote?
Dare I?
I'll try not to ramble.
I probably won't since my memory is so bad, I can hardly remember what my last flight was!
Oh well.. I'll just try and make this as entertaining as I can.

Recently I battled with an allergy attack -- the same one that I got a few years back. Started some nights ago from my palms and followed by a swollen lower lip the morning after. YES. Lower lip. I cannot tell you how badly I'd like to laugh to that if it hadn't been my own lip. Then of course came the lot of rashes around my legs and arms that somehow made my entire body just sore and achy.
I hadn't gone to the doctor's. I found some old meds in the fridge that seemed to calm down the itch so I'm content for the time being. I don't know about you but I HATE going to the clinic so as long as the pain (or in this case, itch) is manageable, I'll put off seeing the doctor for as long as I can.
Plus I had just been there last week because I was having a fever and a cold.
Suppose my body just decided to deteriorate now.
Oh! And as for the allergy, I don't think it started because of anything? I am just calling it an "allergy" because it seems like one, but I hadn't done anything new recently.. And apparently this sudden rashes didn't happen to just me (thanks Google!) and while others have gotten themselves tested, their doctors couldn't give them any concrete answer to why it happened to them either.
So yeah... I'll run to see the doc once my meds are gone.

Work has been pretty overwhelming. I suppose I could blame that to my lack of update. Honestly I just don't have the time to sit around and ponder about life. I don't think that's a bad thing personally. If you had been following this blog, you would know that I would much rather living life than write about it -- but I don't mind having a bit of time to jot down some things either.

My rest days have been minimal.. I keep having to pack and unpack my bags -- a part of my job that I hate the most.

And yes, as you've noticed, I am beginning to call this thing that I do to keep my livelihood as a "job". Gets kinda sad to be honest.

I still have fun at work. I still love (most of) the people that I work with. But there comes a day when I am just too tired, stretched too thin to even care if I am smiling to the passengers or not.

But on the positive note, I did spend a few days in Cherating with my family last month. I have also been to Hong Kong, Macau, New Delhi, Osaka, Hyderabad, Taipei and Bangkok since I last updated!

Lots of money spent!! Gah!

Which led to my year-end resolution (if that even makes sense) to actually.. really.. truly start saving up some money. I honestly can't see why I would need anymore make-up or skincare products.. Or jackets and dresses.. Or nail polishes! I mean, come oonnn.. They are wonderful, but I really don't need more when I barely have the space to keep them! So my second year-end resolution; only buy things that I need -- which are things that I have finished and need to replace, or things that I have always always wanted. Things that I've thought of getting for more than three months at least! Hahhahhaha!

I refuse to deprive myself of good food though. So I'd always splurge on that! As for things, I'm pretty sure you could see how I'll fare from my Instagram. If you see a picture of a haul on there, you'll know I'd failed. Hahahhahahahaha

That sounded like I've set myself up to fail. Oh well, everyone has their weaknesses.

I'll try my best.. So wish me luck!

And I'll try to update this blog as often as I used to. I've really missed rambling on and on about my thoughts as if it mattered to anyone. Hahahahaha!

So vain.. But in a quiet sort of way.. Heehee