Just life, I guess..

On standby with Encem for two days.

I was called up to a single night in Manila and he was not.

This is really a small matter but I just can't shake off the sadness.

I am sad, I truly am.

I actually numbered the days in my journal for when I hadn't seen my boyfriend; it had been nine. And now the count starts again..

I went to work with hardly any sleep at all yesterday. Even then I still pushed on so I could spend the rest of the day with Encem.

Seriously, I don't cope well (with life) without my dose of my monkey. And twenty-two hours is not enough to make up for the nine days of aloneness..

I am just sad..

Sorry for this seemingly pointless rant. It's just that I am on my way to the airport and already I am missing my boyfriend. Makes it sound kinda pathetic if I think about it, but I do feel kinda pathetic.

Going insane.

Feeling extremely demotivated right now.
Been working too hard with not enough play time.
I am still sick. Encem is away. I'm starting to feel that he is truly my best friend and it seems that I don't cope well without my best friend. I cried while I was on the phone with him. The more he told me not to cry, the more I cried.
I just don't feel like myself.
I feel like quitting my job because it's really starting to feel like a job.
It's taking over my life.
I don't go out. Not for fun anyway. Not even during my nightstops or layover.
I'm too sick to go out.
I think I am losing weight. I barely eat. I have no desire to eat.
I am having my period. Some people eat more when they're having their period. I eat less. And even less since I am sick.
I am freakin' tired, but I can't sleep. I don't sleep well at night. I've been having odd dreams and I've always been a light sleeper.
My hair is crunchy and disgusting. I tried to remember when was the last time I had them washed and I can't remember. Probably three days ago which is just icky. But I don't have the time to wash my hair! I always come home just before midnight and I hate getting into the shower that late at night and if I wash them before work, I won't have enough time to let them dry.
I am just going to keep complaining until I've vent everything out.
I hate my job. I hate that Encem's away. I hate that I'll probably only see him next month. I just HATE that!
I haven't been to Sephora since December. Which surprised me, too.
My body aches. My chest aches. My heart aches. And I have puffy red eyes.

Life is NOT good.

#BeautyBlog 4

Feels like I haven't just chatted in my blog and honestly I don't know if I have anything to just chat about.

Work's been all too consuming and I'm kinda hating that part of my life right now. It's like all I look forward to when the roster comes out are my off days; when am I having my off days.. how many will I be getting this month..? It's sad.. I am having a sad period in my life, work-wise. People are leaving.. Friends are leaving, and I don't blame them. My company's been shitty to us, the little people -- to the point when customers complained about the company, I just agreed! I even told some that they're better off travelling with other airlines.. That's how proud I am of what I'm doing.

Just sad, really..

Plus I feel like I am constantly sick! I was sick at the end of last month, and was barely feeling better when I got sick again! What the hell was that? I know I am getting older (oh, life!) but my body can't have deteriorated that fast!

For that I must blame my bloody roster for not giving me enough rest to get better and fully like myself again. Just not enough time for TLC in my life now that Encem has started flying again.. Oh I won't start on that. Well maybe I will in some other entry!

Anyway, how about I move on to some things that actually gets me a lil more perky!

Painted my nails yesterday after weeks of not doing so. Tried another colour from the Ciaté Mini Mani Month and this time it was the colour Tweed And Tails. I don't know how I feel about it. Not too sure green/olive looks good on my skin. They're not bad I suppose, but I am just more comfortable with my shades of purple and fuschia I think.

Anyway, I am still loving the idea of having all these colours to try out -- even colours that I won't usually go for.

It does get a little annoying how the colour seems to separate a little in the bottle (because I've been ignoring them for a while), and they're too tiny that even when I shake it, it doesn't seem like it does anything to its contents!

I don't know.. I get annoyed pretty easily these days..

Despite being an off day yesterday, I also put on a bit of make-up, mostly to test out if I like some things really..

I had on NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer in Ginger, Benetint and Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow foundation in Champagne by Benefit, Stila eyeshadow in Kitten and In2It Waterproof Eyebrow Pencil in Acorn. Pretty minimal, I must say but a lot to just go down to the management's office to pay the water bill.

You know I love my NARS concealer so I don't have anything else to say on the subject. The In2It eyebrow pencil I have repurchased three times, so yeah.. I absolutely love that. It comes in a bevel and a fine tip and I adore the fine tip! It comes in two shades and I have them both for home and one more in my overnight make-up bag -- that's how much I love it. It is quite hard in consistency but I prefer to work on them than having put too much accidentally and wipe them out. They are also twist-up so no sharpening needed, always a plus point!

And Kitten is just awesome for the inner-eye highlight. Didn't know why I felt like putting it on for a minimalist look, but I did it anyway.

The products that I was really "testing" out was the Benefit products. The foundation in the particular shade looks quite orange in person but I think it looks okay on my skin? I didn't exactly put a lot of it and I did blend it pretty well, I think. It says to be a "brightening foundation" so it does have a dewy finish. It has a medium coverage, I didn't feel like I cared enough to cover my blemishes with a concealer though.

I didn't set the make-up with powder and in not more than three hours, my face looked super shiny!! It's just.. Ughh! Not loving the foundation. If you have combo skin, stay away! It hadn't even been a super hot day. Ughh!

As for Benetint, the scent strongly reminded me of rose syrup. Which makes you think if they're basically the same thing. If it is, you are better off getting that big bottle of rose syrup and it'd be WAY cheaper!

I don't hate the product, don't get me wrong. I think it works pretty well to give a nice bit of healthy tint to the lips and cheeks.

I'm sure you don't know this but I am really pale without any sort of make-up on and without the Benetint on the photo above, I would've looked as sick as I was feeling. So yeah, Benetint is an okay product. Not too sure how it'll look on deeper skintone though. The one thing that irked me about it was the fact that you're supposed to dab the product with the applicator and then blend with your fingers.. Now, I find that half the product just stained my fingers instead of the intended areas which is really annoying! It really felt as if you had just played around with those rose syrup concentrate!

Oh and since it's a stain, it does nothing for you really, than to leave that stain. So if you have dry lips, you'll still have dry lips -- but with a healthy pink tint! Wa-heyy!

Anyway, I just haven't been too impressed with the Benefit's products that I've tried. Kinda disappointed really. They're just one of those brands that I've always wanted to try, like Benetint, I must've wanted to try it since I first ever laid eyes on Benefit products.. that was yeaarss ago!

Fun fact: apart from lip balm, blusher was the first ever make-up that I bought! (Because I was so pale..) I remember getting a pinky Maybelline one (that looked a lot like the Dream Bouncy Blush but with a hard, powdery consistency) from Guardian that I even wore to school sometimes!

I remember getting 'caught' or more like noticed by a teacher once who asked if I had a blusher on and I just laughed and ran away! Hahahahha.. Such a rebel!

Anyway, I still have some more things to try from the Benefit purchase I made.. I don't know, there is still hope that I might like SOMETHING!

Lush haul!!

..NOTTT!!

I was in Mumbai earlier this month and all I could think about was getting some of those Lush bath bombs to try out..

Unfortunately, even after doing a bit of Googling with the limited wi-fi, the internet failed to inform me that the two Lush stores that was closest to the hotel where I was staying is closed! Talk about a waste of time.. and energy!

To mend my broken heart, I sort of spoilt myself to my first MAC purchase -- oh surprise, the Face And Body FOUNDATION!

I've been wanting to try it out so badly so I didn't feel guilty for buying this one, it's just that I didn't really need to get it THEN especially since I had just bought that NARS Sheer Glow foundation last month!

Oh well.. I suppose my blog will write itself by the end of this month.

MAC in general are cheaper in India apparently. I was browsing around the store with a colleague who uses MAC and she was pretty stoked to get her stuff at a cheaper price.
I suppose now there's more than JUST Himalaya products to buy from India..

Another purchase that I made abroad were these Essie cuticle oil and base coat! I was at the airport in Male, walking around to kill some time while waiting for the aircraft when I saw the Essie display. I was pretty excited! It was the first time I ever saw Essie products so of course I had to get something!

After a quick look around, I decided not to get any of the nail polishes since I have loads of those but now that I've tried the base coat.. know that Essie has that wide brush that I love.. oooh I am so tempted to get some the next time I see them!

Funny that I thought I was going to come home without spending a single dollar during my stay -- I stayed in my room all day, not a single step outside my room until call time because I was just SO SICK! -- and then bam! Essie display at the departures hall..
Oh well, what can you do?

I'm still not a hundred percent, which blows. Roster's been bloody packed and flying with a flu and a cough is just not great. Apparently I am flying for 85 hours on a 28-days month.. That is a damn LOT if you ask me. And I am ending the month with a standby so I won't be surprised if I'll hit 90 hours by the end of it!
It is just no wonder that I am sick, really..

Pinhead

Not too sure how well you know this about me but I am a Hard Rock Cafe Pinhead.
Even I forget about that sometimes; when people asks me what my hobbies are, I would immediately think of coffee and the buckets of 'em that I love drinking.
Started off in 2006 when I got my first HRC pin from Amsterdam while Dida was getting the Leather Classic series tee to start off her collection.
I love that Amsterdam pin.. It couldn't be any more Dutch than that!

Since then the leather-logo tee has been discontinued, so Dida had to move on and started to collect the Wood Panel series tees and I carried on with my guitar pin collections.

I mainly collect the ones shaped like a guitar. Ones that depicts the city, and not from the core collection since those are just too blah.. (The only reason I would get the core collection would be if the Rock Shop didn't have any other guitar pin!)

And I normally buy just ONE from one location. I don't know.. I'm an odd sort of pinhead, maybe? I guess I collect them more because of "I've been there" instead of "while I'm there".. does that make any sense?

Anyway, I love how I can practically tell a story of each and every pin, how I acquired them and the adventure it took to get them! Which is why I'd never consider trading my pins with any of the other pin collectors whom have approached me. It's also interesting to see what others would get me when they actually bought some for me.

I've never been to the States so obviously the ones in my collections weren't hand-picked by me. And Bestie somehow always end up getting the Burlesque girls for me; which I think says a lot about him! HAHAHAHHA!!

Despite getting these pins as tokens sometimes, I still want to go to each location myself! Being VIP in the Rewards program means that I will be rewarded at a certain numbered visits.

So yeah, no Ebay purchase will do it for me. Suppose it's like a challenge to myself.

Plus, it's something to look forward to when I go to some place new. Kinda irked that I only knew about Jakarta's new location once I was back from my trip. Also of Andheri on the night before I left Mumbai.. gahhh!! NEXT TIMEE!!

You could see Dida's tee collection on her Facebook album here and my pin collection here. Can't remember when was the last time I updated that though.. Probably a long time ago since there's 58 photos on there while my pin locker on the HRC collector's club has eighty-something!
I guess it's about time that I update that album..

Oh, in case anyone was wondering about the custom-made case that holds all my pins, it was actually a birthday present from Encem three years ago..?

He's awesome like that.

Delivery madness!

To be honest, I'm not really in the writing mood but it's been a while since I blogged and I promised myself an entry a week! So despite having a pretty tiring week, followed by a pretty awesome family gathering yesterday, I decided to blog anyway since tomorrow I'll start another cycle of tiring work-week!

So I apologize in advance if this post turns out to be a half-hearted, rambly entry..

Feels like the end of January is pretty much all about deliveries and well, online shopping!

A lot of offers popped up and to start it off, I shall confess that I DID spend some dough for the Benefit Cosmetics sale-bration that I blogged about earlier of last month!

The delivery came in so neatly packed with one of those tissue paper wrap and though it was delivered through normal postage (one that does not require you to sign off), the Show me the love tin that I bought arrived undamaged. The one thing that irked me a bit about the postage though was the fact that since it does not require to be signed off, the postman just placed the box in front of my apartment door! It was quite large, it didn't fit into the post box nor in between the bars of my gate and he just left it there!
Good thing no one actually bothered to steal the package!

Anyway, apart from the tin, I also bought the sample size of the Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow! foundation, It's Potent! eye cream and two of the Badgal Plum mascara. Why two? Because I've been meaning to try it out and they're discontinuing it and for 12 dollars, I told myself, "what the heck!". hahaha!
Also with any order, you get to select two samples so I picked the Hoola bronzer and The POREfessional: Agent Zero Shine samples which was pretty cool for a sample as it came with a little brush too!

I haven't tried these products enough to say what I really think about them so perhaps I'll have a proper opinion in the coming months.
The only product that I've been using everyday is the mascara and.. meh.. Now that I've tried and tested it out, I can happily move on with my life. It claims to intensify your eye colour and I don't think it did that at all. And as for my lashes, Maybelline still makes the best mascaras in my opinion! (They're Real! is pretty good but it's bloody expensive for what it is! So I'll be sticking to Maybelline once my mascara stash are gone.)

The second delivery that came in was from Luxola, and though I didn't get the full sleep-set that I had also blogged about, I did get the Deep Sleep Pillow Talk duo. I've only used the pillow spray twice and so far so good. I'm not too keen on the smell to be honest but for the two times that I've used it, I've been having long uninterrupted sleep. Not too sure if it's because I've simply been too pooped to be woken up in the middle of the night, or that the stuff actually works! But I'll be carrying it along my hotel stays and we shall see..

The other thing that I bought from Luxola was Sleek Makeup's i-Divine Vintage Romance palette.
Yes, it is another eyeshadow palette and God knows I don't need another one. But it has such gorgeous colours and I said to myself how it'd be perfect for work when I saw it when it first came out some months ago.

The palette is on sale on Luxola and since I'm buying the sleep-set anyway, I figured might as well that I just get it then.

I do love the i-Divine palettes. I love how slim and sleek the packaging is. Vintage Romance is the fourth palette that I got from Sleek Makeup and for $12, I think they're well worth the money! (Luxola sells them for RM51.50, normally.)

sidenote: Sleek Makeup do ship internationally for less than $5!

Since I am using Naked 3 when I'm doing my makeup from home, these i-Divine palette is pretty much my outstation palettes! The ones I have are the Ultra Matte V2, Oh So Special and the Primer Palette. I would recommend getting any of their palettes except maybe the Primer Palette since they're not really "primers" per-se (not on my lids anyway!) but they're still gorgeous colours.

Looking forward to use the Vintage Romance palette tomorrow morning! I love a good purple shade on the lids..