Shit-Day.

Oh hey, I made it to thirty! woop woop!
Probably one of the worst birthdays, yet.
Feels like I keep doing this to myself. Have some incredibly high expectation for my birthday and then of course, when it didn't turn out as incredible as I had hoped, I just end up feeling crushed. Border-lining to depressed.
I NEVER learn, seriously. Perhaps that's one way to keep myself "young"! Ha ha ha. Just keep having foolish expectations.

I just realized that my favourite word this week has been -- thanks.
I forgive you -- "thanks."
Happy birthday, Wanie -- "thanks"
Love you -- "thanks"
Pretty sure I didn't bump my head that I lost my vocabulary but this week's been shitty enough, I didn't feel like starting a fight. Although I'm pretty certain that I am having some sort of a fight with my mum, which is a bit ridiculous when I think about it. Well, I'm too old to blab about THAT on the internet.

Of course, not saying what I really mean to say means that I cry even more. Ha ha ha! I'm probably too old to cry too, but it's the only way for me to keep my sanity. Well, maybe not my sanity. But it keeps me from cursing..? hahahha!
I've come to accept that I can be truly mean when I am honest.
I am probably a bad person if my honesty is something bad, right? hahahha

How about we move on to the positive side of this birthday?
I got AWESOME presies from Bestie and Mamita! They really outdid themselves and completely threw me off of my game! I gotta step up for their birthdays next year! Bestie especially since he really surprised me with a Yankee Candle and a pair of Timberland boots! I already think that what I got him is not up to my standard (yepp, his birthday is in February and I already have his present!) but now I'm certain that I have to amp it up! Mamita gave me a YSL body lotion (oh so fancy!) and NARS' Light Reflecting Loose Setting Powder AND Audacious lipstick in the shade Greta. hahahha! They really "get" me.
Wish I had them around.. then probably I wouldn't be so miserable with Encem gone, Mumu unavailable and everything.

You know how people say that if you're rotten inside, doesn't matter how beautiful you look.. you will still come off as rotten?
That's me.
I am rotten inside. Because even when Papa and Dida made time for me on my birthday, had a really good meal together.. At the end of the day, I came home feeling miserable still. sigh

Oh! What did I get myself? Apart from NARS' Yachiyo brush that I had mentioned, I got myself NARSskin travel set (not on the wishlist, but I ran out of my Origins' serum and eye cream, so I might as well splurge on a set!) and Rebecca Minkoff's Mini M.A.C. which was a bargain that I found while I was in Narita earlier this month! heehee.
So instead of getting ONE big thing for myself.. I got THREE medium things!

I'll update with a photo once I stop feeling so miserable.
Writing obviously didn't help it go away. I was hoping that it would, but nope.
Oh and I'm too moody to proof-read this entry, so pardon me if there's typo and grammatical error. Writing in a mood such as this should be made illegal.