Of money.

I feel like growing up not having much kinda makes me bad at handling money. The fact that growing up getting hand me downs, not getting the toys I'd wanted, my need to get what I want gets even stronger as I earn my own money.

Of course I am thankful for having a roof over my head. Thankful to have two sisters.

But growing up in Shah Alam, having friends from upper middle-class families, comparing what they had and what YOU had.. kinda messes up your brain.

I think.

So now whenever I get some cash to spare, I tend to spend them on stupid things. Things that makes me happy for owning it but not necessarily practical or useful in everyday life.

I have seven shades of Kat Von D's Everlasting Liquid Lipsticks. Who the hell needs seven shades of that when they already own more than a dozen of lipsticks? Seriously. It would make a whole lot of sense if I am actually in the beauty industry. If I'm a serious beauty blogger, for instance. But I'm not.

Even when I do wear a full face of make up to work, owning probably twenty shades of lipsticks is way too much -- considering that they are not meant to be kept for more than two, maybe three years.

Yet I still browse through Sephora.. wondering what other shades that I could add to my collection.

Stupid, right?

Even stupid when here I am, talking about my own stupidity and still thinking about that shade 'Mother' from Kat Von D.

Stupid stupid stupid.

Anyway, if you still remember that post when I listed my mid-year wishlist.. I crossed two from those things that I wanted.

Managed to get that NARSissist Jetsetter face palette as I was flying out from Bangkok a couple of weeks ago. I was SO happy to have found it, but I've only used it once since I bought it.

The second would be this notebook that I am typing on.

Bought this while I was out with Bestie and he had compared what I got with something else that has better specs for what I was spending.

I got the 13" Macbook Air.

I had considered getting the gold Macbook but even I couldn't justify paying the extra 1k just because "I like the colour".
Anyway, I don't think this is a stupid purchase at all. Just felt kinda crazy for wanting a Mac when all my life I've used a PC and what I wanted to do with this is pretty basic.

Obviously switching from Windows to Mac requires a bit of adjusting. But considering the Windows that I'm familiar with is Windows XP (ha!) I'm pretty sure if I get any regular laptop I'd still need to readjust myself. I've seen Bestie's laptop.. I understood none of it! hahahaha
I feel like an old granny.

So recently I've been handed a bit of cash (which is why I'm yapping about spending them right now) and my brain is getting a little overworked about it. I've paid off my cards, going to pay off the loan Dida gave me first thing next month, and I plan on paying off my PTPTN loan.

I'd prefer to pay off that bloody loan first thing, to be honest. But if you know me at all.. I HATE making official phone calls. Hate being all serious on the phone when I hate talking on the phone in the first place. I mean, sure talking on the phone is way easier than having to travel to some official looking office, but most times I feel like my hearing is SO bad or at least my eardrums and brain isn't connected as well as I hope it would. So yeah.. I'm procrastinating. I'll make that phone call when I couldn't put it off any longer. hahahaha!

Maybe Tuesday.
Tuesday should be good.

I'm heading to Bangkok again today. NOT looking forward to it. My roster is SO packed, I'm half-expecting to be sick sometime later this month. 102 block hours, 169 duty hours, 9 days off. Even looking at that is starting to make me feel sick!

Now I should finish up my laundry before I get ready for work.
Between Pokémon Go and the limited days off, I really don't have the time for laundry anymore!