Pregnancy Woes

When I created this blog, I never meant it to be anything specific.
Not when I was still in school, not when I was crazy about my work, and not even now that I'm pregnant.
But I feel like I've been almost distant while I'd been writing about my pregnancy. Suppose it's mostly because in my mind, I had wanted to share "informations" instead of "feelings" so.. that's what happened.

So here's an entry where I'll yap and ramble random things about my pregnancy!
Beware!

This entry in particular will focus on my complaints while carrying this lil' bub.
(May sound negative, but helpful -- I swear!) You have no idea (or maybe you do?) how reassuring it is when you found someone else who shares the same problems as you do! hahahha

I'll say that my pregnancy hasn't been too hard so far. There were some bits of change and "woes" throughout, but I didn't get that typical morning sickness that people tend to talk about.
I did feel gassy through Weeks five 'til about eleven.
My skin had definitely changed, I was getting spots on my chin and cheeks. I also have tiny bumps all over my forehead that looks not too different from baby's heat rash.

Oh! Constipation! Apparently it's really common, and a real bitch. Constipation whilst pregnant is a real thing, folks!
And since I've been taking iron for supplement, my stool has turned black! That was.. amusing, when it first happened. More so when I had diarrhoea that one time. hahahha!

Then there's back pain while travelling for too long in the car. That lasted throughout the first trimester. Wasn't so bad as I entered the twelfth week somehow.
But constantly feeling like a walking heater.. that hasn't gone away unfortunately. Wish I could wear sleeveless all day everyday! Even cuddling with Monkey felt so uncomfortable some days.

Second trimester brought in some new hardship.
The gassiness went away, but I started getting posterior pelvic pain at around week twenty. I try SO hard to hold out 'til I really have to waddle but I'm afraid I started early in that area.
It felt like my butt cheeks were out of place.. like how sometimes when your arm feels sore but you could stretch it out and it feels fine -- but no matter how much you stretch, your butt cheeks still feels uncomfortable.

So uncomfortable that I rarely ever turn when I sleep. And the only way that I can walk comfortably is by waddling. It isn't cute. Then of course when I'd been sleeping on one side for a whole night, I'd wake up with an ache to that entire side! I just can't win.
Then not too long after that I experienced my first round ligament pain. That was a real "pain". Bearable, but really worrying when I first had it.

It'll happen when I'd make sudden moves or suddenly change my positions. The first time I had it, I was trying to get up from a reclining chair too fast. Then I keep getting it every once in a while if I'd been walking too fast or too long.
Uncomfortable and alarming, but no biggie!

By the end of second trimester, I experienced my first heartburn..
That was not fun.. at all! It literally felt like my chest was burning and it always came around at night when I was ready for bed. That was total shit. But that didn't last too long, I think! I had it for a few nights and it sort of just went away..
Kinda expecting it to come back in the third trimester.. but I'm not hoping. Not at all looking forward to it. Just expecting since I keep seeing it coming up in articles. sigh

My Ramadhan had been going well until I started getting gassy again. I keep forgetting that now my belly is growing bigger, my stomach gets pushed upwards. As the fasting month goes, I always end up falling asleep only after suhur and naturally, whatever that went in wants to come back up after a few hours of lying down.
Stupid.. and disgusting, I know. So my best solutions so far is to stay up even longer than I want to -- or put up several pillows under my head so at least my neck is higher than my chest.

[edit] Oh! I just remembered that there's that one time when I got a real bitch of a leg cramp in my left leg during my sleep. One that got me moaning loud enough that it woke Monkey up whom then helped me to try stretch that leg out. Bless him.
After that episode, I haven't gotten any leg cramps *knocks on wood* but I have had a few times when it had threaten to come back -- but I quickly changed my legs' positions, and saved myself from that pain.

Now as I enter the third trimester, I was introduced to pubic bone pain -- OH MY GOD!
It's probably the most uncomfortable thing I've experienced so far. It's a sharp pain on my pubic bone that feels like I had bikini wax on the same spot, several times in a short period of time! It stung and ached and moving around was torturous! It's like that pain I had on my butt had decided to move forward -- except worse.

This one was the worst yet. Basically it stings whenever I move my legs separately. Like when I'm trying to get out of bed, or put on pants, or get out of the car. I also have to walk real slowly..
It also made it painful to turn in bed. Basically having a good night's sleep is -- no amount of pillows could help me now.

I suppose I was sort of amused that my aches and pains keeps moving around and not stay for too long.. or happens at the same time. I am grateful for that at least.
I asked Kina if she had any pregnancy woes throughout her five pregnancies and apart from the first week of gassiness when she had first found out that she was pregnant, she had no such pain at all! Bitch. HAHHAHAHA!

Some of my friends had told me to drink milk to avoid any sort of bone related ailment but I have been drinking milk! Even manage to finish a tin of Enfamama!
I'm quite confident that my aches and pains weren't related to calcium deficiency. Perhaps my bones and ligaments in my pelvic area are just too good at loosening up and getting ready for the baby.
Just my pelvic area though. Personally I'm still nervous about being in labour.. while being so excited about holding Nugget in my arms!

Can't stop feeling amused everytime I feel the baby moves. I get a little out of breath sometimes but it's.. weird and magical at the same time.
I do feel blessed for this experience, despite all my complaints so far. I've been pretty emotional every now and then but Monkey's been great and really patient. He'll make a great dad, there's no doubt that Nugget will favour him more than me. sigh.

I think that's pretty much it from me when it comes to complaints.
I suppose there's Braxton Hicks contractions to look forward to. Well, who am I kidding? I am surely NOT looking forward to any sort of pain, but I am mentally preparing myself for what's coming in the next few weeks.

Just weeks to go from here. Where did all the time went?? I really am beginning to freak out..
I pray things will go on smoothly from here.. insyaAllah.

Nesting.

Approaching Week 30 of my pregnancy..
I'm debating if this entry should be under the "pregnancy" category but I digress.. This feels more like a life update than being pregnant-specific.
BUT! They're very closely related.. We'll see.

I am actually looking forward to re-do the smallest room in our apartment and turn it into the baby's room. Currently it's more like a storage/cram whatever/guest room. It's a weird sort of room, very dusty as we don't go into it that often but I am really excited about moving things around in between the smallest room and the second room.

So far we haven't really bought much baby stuff apart from a carseat, foldable baby tub and a playpen because we haven't got a place to put them in yet.
We decided to go with a portable playpen instead of a traditional baby cot since we're due to move out some time next year and the one that we bought seemed easy to pack up in between rooms or houses.

There is a single bed in the small room which I think will remain there for late night feeding or to catch some sleep. That room has almost no natural light coming in which is perfect for sleeping at any time of the day. Monkey had mentioned that he wanted to get a kiddy-curtain for that particular room. I find that amusing since that never really crossed my mind.

We also need to switch up the curtains in our room. It's been the same white curtains since we moved in a year ago because I like having a diffused light coming into our room, plus it makes the room a little more spacious than it really is. But hubs is REALLY concerned about getting enough sleep, so we'll be looking into thick, dark curtains soon.

As much as I hate having everything from IKEA, it's just SO easy to get things that I need under one roof! Seems like they have expanded their range in the baby-category in recent years and I do think we'll be buying some baby related things there.. of all places!

I do have my heart set on the Trofast storage system.
I had mentioned to Monkey about getting the boxes with lids in several sizes for different things. Smaller ones for the teeny tiny clothes while the larger ones to store other things. Then maybe after the move to a more permanent place, we'll get the frames that the boxes will fit into.

I'm actually really excited about that. Excited about organising baby things and see what we have enough of, or what more do we need.
Well, we need a heck lot more! Hubs and I haven't really got into that shopping mood just yet although we have bought some random bits and bobs.. a couple or two clothes from the sale in Mothercare that is currently ongoing 'til second of July.
I still have my heart set on picking up some Aden & Anais swaddle and blankets because I keep hearing so much about them, so I'll be waiting for that baby expo coming up at the end of July.

Hopefully I won't be too huge and tired to walk around by then!
We really do have a LOT to do around the house and I just pray that Monkey won't end up having to do everything by himself.

I've been told to start making a list of things that I'll need but I just can't seem to get around to it! Seems so REAL and SO MUCH MONEY! hahahaha! Do you have any clue how much a good breast pump would cost?! And diapers too!
Suppose I'll make the list before the expo in July so we could get a good discount on things that we really need.

So far the house doesn't feel any different. While the second room is still occupied, there really isn't much that can be done. Except maybe sort our wardrobes to make room for.. whatever really. I'm starting to get that feeling to nest, but it's frustrating to not have the room for my ideas.

Hopefully the lil' kid isn't planning on a surprise and arrive too early. I mean, everyone has warned me that the first pregnancy usually gets delivered ahead of the due date.. I am wrapping my head around that. But not too early please, Nugget!
I hate the thought of us running around the house like a headless chicken, trying to get things as organised and settled as I had hoped it would before the baby arrives.

I mean, we're planning to move the wardrobe and bookshelf from the smallest room into the second room, so Monkey better not have to do all that by himself!
Aaanyway, Eid is coming up and all we could think about is channelling what we have towards the baby's arrival. It's hard to swallow, but for the first time in my life I won't be getting a new outfit for Eid this year!

Well, it really is no big deal. But I am a lil' wee bit sad, still.
Priorities, though!
I'll get over it.
Happy that I'll be spending the holidays with family! Even Monkey will be around for a couple of days! yayy! I'm already imagining all the good food.. SO excited!

The Second Trimester. (Part 2)

Felt baby's kick as we were approaching Week 19.
April 1st, even. A joker, this one.
Wasn't too sure if it really was the baby but Nugget kicked again.. and again.

Got my first tetanus shot at Week 22.
It was uncomfortable. Can't remember the last time I got a shot, to actually feel the medicine going into your upper arm.. the sting.. it was unpleasant.

I wouldn't say that it was painful; it wasn't painful to me, but it stung and it felt hot on my arm. While some say they'd feel their arm go numb for a while after, my arm felt fine. But it was a bit itchy around the area where I got the shot for a few days.
Apart from that, the particular visit was uneventful. My nurse had wrote down in my book to come by at 09:00 but I was there at 08:30. Waited until 10:02 before my number was actually called!
I left the clinic at about 11:00.

My body was adjusting once again around this time. My bump was getting more noticeable, I was getting a little gassy again and some heartburn late at night. Then there's round ligament pain, which isn't funny at all. And my back.. or hip.. actually it's more like the bone on my butt was achy. I always thought pregnant women walked funny because they were adjusting to the size of their belly but I was beginning to think that like me, they've been walking funny because their butt cheeks were giving them discomfort!

I don't know if there's an exact name for that part of our body but it's not exactly the back, or the hips and it's definitely not the coccyx! It's more like the back part of the hips, perhaps quite parallel to the coccyx.
That's the best way I can describe it in words, unfortunately.
Anyway, they are uncomfortable, border-lining on painful to the point that when I sleep -- I rarely ever move! It's like my body knows that turning from one side to the other would cause me pain, so even in my sleep, I don't bother turning my body.
Which of course then led to one sore side once I wake up!

Coming up to Week 24, we had an appointment for a detailed scan at Umra.
This is when they do a 3D/4D scan of our lil' Nugget! Unfortunately government clinics does not offer this service as they don't have the equipment for it.
NOTE: If you have any concerns about your pregnancy at all, you may want to visit a private hospital or clinic to get an ultrasound at Week 12-14 for an NT Scan, then at Week 24 for a Detailed Scan where you get to look at baby's little fingers, their teeny tiny face, and if baby cooperates -- their gender too! Actually some can already see the baby's gender by Week 16, but it's clearer by Week 20 onwards.

About a month after my first tetanus shot, I got my second dose. Apparently you get it twice on your first pregnancy and only once if you've been pregnant before. This time it didn't burn as bad somehow. Still uncomfortable but a lot less unpleasant.
The rest of my check-ups were short and not special.

Well, except for the bit where I got lectured on the food I should be eating as my Hb dropped since my last check-up. My nurse also upped my iron dosage to two pills instead of one. She also measured my belly and checked on the baby's heartbeat.

This check-up at Week 27 took about an hour and half. I came in at 09:15, had my number called for the Hb and pee test at 09:22, saw my nurse at 09:45, got my shot at 10:36 then left the clinic at 10:40. That lecture really took a while..

By the end of second trimester, my belly was definitely getting bigger. I could feel Nugget getting bigger. Baby's kick was getting stronger. Its movement more recognisable.
I was approaching seven months of pregnancy after all!

Second trimester notes:
1. If the nurse gives you a certain time to come by, just follow it. I feel like the clinics are busiest at the first hour they are open. Then things sort of just calms down as the hours go by.
2. Perhaps I'm an extra parent, it's not exactly a requirement to get the Detailed Scan but as mentioned previously, any chance I get to see Nugget, I'm going to grab it! Getting one is not a bad thing. During my scan. the sonographer had focused on the baby's heart, checked on baby's digits, see baby's heart and if baby has a cleft lip.. it's a good thing.
3. The first two months of the second trimester was the BEST time to go anywhere and do anything. At least for me, that's when I was most comfortable with my body and I hadn't had any pregnancy woes to talk about.
I'd say it's the best time to start having a look at baby's stuff, stuff you might need once the baby arrives. If you prefer to survey for things, test them out in stores before actually committing to them, it's the right time to do so.

We're pretty much all caught up now!
The next pregnancy-entry will take a while from now on, so if this hasn't been your jam.. Rejoice!
I'll try and entertain you with some fluff in the next few entries and not totally abandon this blog. heh!

A borrowed time.

Hubs made me cry last Sunday.
Aren't I dramatic?
It has nothing to do with what he did, really. He was just sharing something that happened at work that day.

He was flying back from an Australian port and flight was fine. He touched down as per scheduled, just before 6PM but that night he came home at about midnight.
He texted me after touchdown that there was a medical case.
Passenger unconscious.
They (the crew) were administering CPR and that he'd text me back.

Ten minutes later he texted again saying that the passenger did not survive.

I told him to just tell me about it once he gets home.
As he did, he took a shower first thing before finally sitting down next to me and told me about the incident.

The passenger was an elderly female, travelling with her husband of fifty-plus years. They had always wanted to come visit the country but were always busy with work. They finally got the time to travel and not too many steps from exiting the aircraft, the lady collapsed and was unconscious.

It wasn't the flight crew's responsibilities to attend to such situations as the passenger was already in the terminal, but other passengers who'd noticed this incident came running back into the aircraft for help.
So the crew members of this flight ran towards the couple with whatever equipment that they have onboard and did what they could.

Unfortunately first aid was just not enough during this situation.

And while waiting for the authorities, the crew tried to console the husband by talking to him.
That's when Monkey overheard him whispered to his wife, "I wish we had a few more years.."

I - just - can't.
I tried to just listen to his story and just listen, but I couldn't help but empathise..

I wish Monkey and I won't ever feel that way -- hoping for something that we can't have.
I've never said this out loud but I've been wary since I got pregnant.
I also hadn't told Monkey that I almost slipped in the bathroom last month.
Suppose I should accept fate.

Hubs will HATE it if I say anything remotely morbid. But I am me after all. Thinking about the worst that could happen comes naturally to me. Of course I don't wish for anything bad to happen -- especially onto myself. But bad things happens to the best of us, right?

I pray that everything will be fine..
I'm excited for the arrival of our baby, but at the same time I am scared shitless.
I hope Monkey and I still have many years together. Even if we just end up frustrating each other as we always do.

Aah, so here's where I leave you. Because talking.. writing.. thinking about any place without Monkey around just makes me sad..

Wishing the best for every one of us. May we all never wish for things that we can't have.