A borrowed time.

Hubs made me cry last Sunday.
Aren't I dramatic?
It has nothing to do with what he did, really. He was just sharing something that happened at work that day.

He was flying back from an Australian port and flight was fine. He touched down as per scheduled, just before 6PM but that night he came home at about midnight.
He texted me after touchdown that there was a medical case.
Passenger unconscious.
They (the crew) were administering CPR and that he'd text me back.

Ten minutes later he texted again saying that the passenger did not survive.

I told him to just tell me about it once he gets home.
As he did, he took a shower first thing before finally sitting down next to me and told me about the incident.

The passenger was an elderly female, travelling with her husband of fifty-plus years. They had always wanted to come visit the country but were always busy with work. They finally got the time to travel and not too many steps from exiting the aircraft, the lady collapsed and was unconscious.

It wasn't the flight crew's responsibilities to attend to such situations as the passenger was already in the terminal, but other passengers who'd noticed this incident came running back into the aircraft for help.
So the crew members of this flight ran towards the couple with whatever equipment that they have onboard and did what they could.

Unfortunately first aid was just not enough during this situation.

And while waiting for the authorities, the crew tried to console the husband by talking to him.
That's when Monkey overheard him whispered to his wife, "I wish we had a few more years.."

I - just - can't.
I tried to just listen to his story and just listen, but I couldn't help but empathise..

I wish Monkey and I won't ever feel that way -- hoping for something that we can't have.
I've never said this out loud but I've been wary since I got pregnant.
I also hadn't told Monkey that I almost slipped in the bathroom last month.
Suppose I should accept fate.

Hubs will HATE it if I say anything remotely morbid. But I am me after all. Thinking about the worst that could happen comes naturally to me. Of course I don't wish for anything bad to happen -- especially onto myself. But bad things happens to the best of us, right?

I pray that everything will be fine..
I'm excited for the arrival of our baby, but at the same time I am scared shitless.
I hope Monkey and I still have many years together. Even if we just end up frustrating each other as we always do.

Aah, so here's where I leave you. Because talking.. writing.. thinking about any place without Monkey around just makes me sad..

Wishing the best for every one of us. May we all never wish for things that we can't have.