Holiday Break
So anyways.. going back home in a bit..
Nothing much planned out really... I mean, I don't know.. I suppose there's nothing much to do when I get home.
But I am planning to do those updates I promised.. Heehee! So you MIGHT see some changes to my site as the third trimester re-opens! ^_^
Huhuu.. going to TRY to have a fun holiday.. and a rather bit educational. Kinda promised myself to learn all those applications I installed to my computer. Hehhehe!!
Reaaaaaaally have to stop getting so lazy! Hihhi...

Current song : Breathe Your Name by Sixpence None The Richer

So many days within this ways
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
The part of you
That's part of me
Will never die
Will never leave
And it's nobody else's but mine

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
When I lose control
I can only breathe your name

Stupidest day ever
Demm! What a day.. I didn't sleep at all last night. Went to MPH around 7:30. After I finished my Reading paper, I went out and got back to my room to get some shut eye.. (Thought I was free for at least 40 mins!) 'Coz the Writing paper would start around 10:40 or something.. and guess what?? I woke up at 11:05!!! So I got up like mad, wear my tudung as I cursed.. and ran as fast as I could towards MPH.. Gosh! I hate being late! Hahhaa~! Got to be the center of the attention for some while.. Heehee~! So yeah, I was late for about 30 minutes. Good thing the people who took care of the test still let me do the test! Waaaah~! How 'lucky' can I get?? Heehee! Managed to get it done.. surprisingly!! I am very VERRRY impressed with myself! ^_^ And some bit later.. the Listening paper.. and now.. I'm FREEEEE!!!
Yeech! Now, I have to tell my mom that I'm barred from registering for the next trimester.. Sheesh!
Anyways.. I'm tired.. sleepy.. sick.. and cramped at the legs! Feels like going to fall off! Sooo... later~!!
Happy holidays peeps!

A long pause
Sorry.. got caught in a middle of something..
Been trying to find that A*Teens song For All That I Am. Heehee! Been playing their album while I was at home..
The break is pretty slow since it started (less than a week!) All I've been doing is listen to the same ole music, see that movie 10th Kingdom on ntv7 and play The Simms. I have to say... trying to make John Mayer and Michelle Branch love each other took me whole three days!! Sheesh! Now that I know it can be done.. I'm leaving it just like that, unsaved! Hahhaa~!! I might show you peeps the pics I took in the game though (you know.. from the photo album) Heehee! Weird though.. even though the two already fond of each other.. John Mayer just can't stop himself from nagging on Michelle Branch! Mental really.. he'd automatically nag her!! Sheesh! So anyways.. if you're wondering why is it John Mayer and Michelle Branch.. Heehee! Never mind! ^_^
Anyways.. going a bit crazy for Winamp skins! Hahhaaa~!! Other than spending my whole day searching for that A*Teens' song, I also searched for loads of those skins.. Yeeheehee!!
Okie.. well.. I should get back to that long loooong movie - 10th Kingdom (today's it's last episode!) and then some rest. Having some signs of a flu..
Everybody.. GET WELL!!!

Back in MMU
Huu.. why should there be MUET?! Gosh! And it's going to be so early in the morning!! Well.. not that I am into anything much at home.. Just that.. I don't know.. I want to break-fast at hooommmee!! Huwaaaa!!
Honestly.. nothing much has happened since the last I posted. Well.. Friday was nice.. Dida shocked the whole family when she showed up at the front door from Terengganu! Odd really.. I didn't really miss her when she's gone.. but when she's around.. I feel WHOLE! Hihhihi..! Honestly! That's how I feel!

Heart-ache
The clouds must be falling on me.. Ever felt so hurt that you just can't breathe? Well.. I'm feeling that way right now. Feeling so cold.. and my heart-aches badly. Even after I told myself that everything will turn out okay.. Will it?
Gosh! I cried for real for the first time in MMU last night. Boy, I feel so stupid.. so helpless.. so hopelesly devoted. I hate the fact that I cared as much as I do.. The fact that I need to know that a certain someone will be always there for me when I'm in need. Guess I'm bad at appreciating people, huh? Once... twice.. and I'm doing it all over again..
I guess the English paper just now wasn't so so so so hard.. But I really can't think right. I just seemed to be staring through the words.. or the words just seemed dead blurry to me. I know I wasted most of my time telling myself to concentrate. Really don't know how I'll score on it. I may get reaaaaaaaally bad results from it. I'm depending on luck right now.
Oh well.. A day of stupidity for me.. Maybe I'll get stupid all over again tomorrow.. And the day after.. and the day after that.. It may even turn out to be a stupid year for me..
Told you I won't be good for anybody..

Current song : I Don't Give A Damn by Avril Lavigne
~ I don't give a damn what you say about that.. You know I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy ~
~* but I do give a damn and he's not at all stupid *~

What's there to love about myself?
Yeah.. I sucked loaaads!!
Crappy crappy mood. Going to sleep in a bit.. somehow I wish I'd wake up to find myself somewhere else than this place.
Crappy crappy feeling. Went out for break-fast with Ana and Alitt.. supposedly with Sheeya, BJ and Mya but they were at En. Anis' place and they got there a bit late.
Crappy crappy night. Forced to do some things that I try to avoid. Forced to stay out for sOoOooOo long when all I wanted to do was totally the opposite.
Can't remember how many times I chanted that I wanna go back.
Can't remember how many times I speak of that certain name.
Can't remember of the times I imagined the happier things I could do at that same moment.
Can't remember how many times I wished I just went back.
Can't remember of the times I hoped that I'm talking to a certain someone..
And now that I'm back.. I'm still chanting that same name over and over again.. and say how horrible I felt.. and still feel.. Wanting so much to say how much I missed out this night. Wishing so much that I could say how much I rather be with him while I'm out..
But before he gave me any chance.. what did he do??
He blew me off.............. no explaination is required, huh?

Crying inside.. Obviously you can't see that... or maybe you just refuse to..

Going dizzy
Very verrrry dizzy... Graphics was HARD!! As rock! Very disappointing. Well.. not really. I mean, I realize how little I studied for it. So.. yeah.. I get what I deserved. Silly me~
So anyways.. had a pretty long night last night. Very tiring!! Kinda forced to go out for sahur 'coz I was sooo hungry. Actually I had chose to stay back, 'coz I was tired and I do need to read some things of Graphics but Ana and BJ kept on pressing me. Huhuuu.. So we went out.. with those senior friends.
So tired~~ Even fell asleep while in the car. Good thing Ana was with me. (BJ was in the other car..)
So tired~~ I can't remember when was the last time I felt the need of a good sleep as much as this..
Later~!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MA~!!

Hahhaa~~ gosh it's hard to focus..
when your mind is wandering off at some things. Like.. what was the two words you said in the afternoon.. and how impatient I am for Saturdaayyy!!! Weeeee!! I really really reaaaaally want to see Harry Potter! AaaAaAaa!!
Going to have my Graphics test later todayy.. Humm.. really should get some things into my head..
Eeeekk!! Why do I feel like I'm going a bit selfish huh??! I HATE!! Gosh!! I hate the way I feel nowadays! Really can't stop thinking about me.. me.. MEEE these days and it suxX!! 'Coz at these times.. I need to think about other people's feelings too!! Huwaaa!! Sorry sorry sorryyyy!! I'm so so sorry!! I'm.. really reaaally trying to cope with these obvious changes. Huhuuu.. Sorryyy...! Really don't know why I feel so guilty.
Pretty weird day.. Afternoon was neat! Hanging out with the two people I most care in MMU.. ^_^ But the night just seemed a bit *BIT* crappy.. until just now! I suddenly remembered that I have that cards! So we (me, Ana and BJ) played those predicting games.. Ehhehe! BJ's obviously not ready for any sort of commitment! Huuu.. my voice is a bit strained from cheering for Ana and my own 'results'.. AHHAHAAA!! So prasan of BJ 'coz she got perfect 'results' when she did her prediction with FREDDIE PRINZE JR.!!! Ahhahhahaaa~~!! (Yeah.. most gurls gets pretty dreamy of Freddie..) ^_^
Haiyyoo.. hope I'll manage to cope with my Graphics after this.. CRAP! I'm tired.. hungry.. and half-dumb for my Graphics!!
I'll manage...... I know I will!

Selfish for my feelings.. 'coz I've had enough people worrying about me. I refuse to run!

It's not really THAT important
If someone says to you that similarities are CRUCIAL in a relationship.. don't go nod your head and agrees! 'Coz I think that is all CRAP!
Seriously! What good is it if you have sooooo many things in common with your partner? When is it time will you learn something new? I mean, if he/she told you about something.. you know what's it about. When he/she talked to you about something, you truly understands and agrees with 'em.. Yeah.. MAYBE it's sweet to have someone who is just like you.. awww.. but really.. don't you think that's almost the same as having YOURSELF as a partner???? Hahhahahaa~ Silly silly..
Differences aren't all-bad, so don't fret! ^_^
Aaaahh~~ Raining again over here in MMU. Really reaaally hard! Haven't had my sleep since sahur this morning. It's getting cold around here but still.. I don't feel like a fever's coming!! Urghh!! Oh well.. better get my sleep.. Well, rest if it's possible. Mya and BJ's over here.. and they're NOT fasting!!!! How frustrating can that be?
Later~~

Oh! I must be losing my mind.. somehow

Where You Lead

Wanting you the way I do
I only want to be with you
And I would go to the ends of the earth
Cause, darling, to me that's you're worth

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely, and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train

Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

Carole King

My days
I guess it was pretty okay. Supposedly went to see Harry Potter on Saturday with some friends but come to think about it.. it was the third Saturday and we're planing to go to Mid-Valley! Huuu.. I've had enough of Mid-Valley on holidays.. Yeech!! So *demm* busy!! But since I hate to stay home when I already said that I won't.. I worked something out with Musz.. we went to The Mall to look around and even had our break-fast there. Only got home at half past nine. Huuhuu.. I was soo sleepy in that train! My thoughts keep on wandering off. Silly me. When we got back, my dad kept asking what we did there. In six hours, we practically spent three hours walking around the mall. Huuu! I was amazed myself.. And while we had our dinner, me and Musz talked about plenty of stuff! Wee! Kewl! Haven't been talking about those sort of things for so long.. ^_^
Sunday was absolutely boring! I slept most of the day.. absolutely ignoring my final work. Memang malas nak mampos buat.. I started the work when I got back in MMU.. and that's midnight! Selambekan saja badakk! Well.. I guess nothing much was special this weekend. But I was pretty happy! ^_^ Everyone in the house seemed to be smiling a lot. And even though I wasn't fasting, there's always food around! Mama even cook for me!! Oh so happy~! Got to eat loads of roti jala (that Papa made!) and tauhu-fa!! Weeeeeee!! Aaaah!! SUKA NYERR!! I miss home already.. 'coz this day is kinda crappy! Bluekk!! Oh so sucky~! Ahhaa!! Recieved a phone call from an ole friend. Lamaaanyeeee tak denga citer! It was nice hearing back from him.. Welcome back! Beshnyer laa gi umrah ekk.. Huuu
Eyyh JASMIN!! Datanglaa this weekend. Bole bawak Nina gi tengok wayang.. bawak Wanie sekaliii!! Hihhihik! Bila orang takmo dia datang, dia datang. Bila orang nak dia datang, takleh nak datang lak! GrrRrRrR!!
I need my time off. I don't know what I feel right now.. but something bad is building up inside me.

Why should I say sorry when I did nothing wrong?

I wonder if it's mine or someone else's..
FAULT!
Urrghh!! I seem to keep pondering if I should lie.. and lie and lie.. to make the people I care about, happy. Should I? Should I? Gosh, truth suxX! All I'm trying to do is to be honest.. and set things straight. Is it possible to make a person happy when you're not? AaaAaaaaAaA!! I HATE!!
Now, I don't know why I'm talking about this.. All I know.. is that you should BUZZ OFF from my face around this time. I feel *bitchy* somehow..

Yeah.. wait 'til you see my other side.

Should there be any reason?
Huhhuu.. long.. long time since I had my last post. Well, not that I was so busy to type one.. but I guess I have nothing much to say. But heyy.. supposedly my website will be updated by this Thursday. What's that? November 21st.. since I'm thinking of going back home on that same day. (Have some plans for Friday and Saturday ^_^ ) Aaanyways, went out with dear Musz last Saturday. Got into some neat conversation about feelings so I HAVE to share this one. Hehheh.. so please don't take this as 'every girls' point of view'.. 'Coz this is just mine, and a bit of Musz'.. Didn't go around interviewing my gurl friends on this one.. just mine! Okie?

Now, if you ever wondered to yourself.. "why do I like that certain person?", but you just can't find that one point that you like about 'em, don't fret. It doesn't mean that you don't like 'em for real.. but it means that you may like 'em so much.. you can't point at just one! That you may like every single thing about 'em that it's hard to say even one because it's a feeling inside you. Deep down, you just feel so attached to this person, that there's no reason behind the feelings you have. That's called chemistry, my dear. No explaination for that. (perhaps fate!)
Don't force yourself to find that ONE point, because to find it, you would require to JUDGE the person. When you start judging, loads of things could come up. 'Can't she dress properly?' - 'Will he ever be this childish?' - 'He can't even say R the right way!' - 'She has bad breath'. Hihhihik! Now.. when you start judging, you'd start to see the bad side of that person. And believe me that it'll make you blind to see those good side of 'em again. Hahhaha!! Honestly, I don't really know if it's true but it IS better not to judge the person you like.. or err.. love.. Take 'em as they are..! Yeah, you can state what you don't feel right about 'em once in a while.. but don't too often please! They'll get bored.. ^_^ Well, if you can find so many 'wrong' things in your partner, that must've mean something.. right?

Oh well.. I'd probably tell you peeps about the rest of my weekend later. I am soooo tired!! Been staying up the whole night to get my final Fundamental work done. Huhhuu.. Reaaaaaaally gotta stop these last minute works! Yeech!

You know you're in love when you wait for 'em to call..

Breathe Your Name

It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same
It's every day
I'm in this place
I feel this way
I feel the same

Is it all inside my head
Is it all inside my head
I view the my lips
And take my pick
I view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but mine

But you are in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And I lose my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

So many days within this ways
I need the truth
I need some grace
I need the path
To find my place
I need some truth
I need some grace
The part of you
That's part of me
We'll never die
We'll never leave
And it's nobody else's but mine

You are in my heart
I can feel your beat
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name

You'll view their lips
And take your pick
You'll view my faith
And make a choice
'Cause it's nobody else's but yours

Your in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name

'Cause your in my heart
I can feel you're deep
And you move my mind
From behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name

Sixpence None The Richer

Who would have thought..
that I can be as homely as I am right now? Hahhaha!! All I wanna do these days is stay at home and hang around, watch the TV.. messaging my friends.. talking to my sis and dad.. (pardon me, but I don't do 'chit-chat' with my mom) Getting back home last week was not really a pretty sight. I thought my dad seemd a bit sick somehow. And no one spoke anything much in the car. (Probably 'coz everyone's hungry form the fasting) But when we get home.. I felt so relieved to see my dad smile.. Hihhik! And after break-fast, we all started talking about stuff! Hihhihik!
Been trying to use that chalk pastel. Kinda fun, considering that it's kinda like using charcoal (and I had loaaads of fun using that!!)
Having a bit of a head pain right now, so pardon me for leaving out most of the vital points I wanted to share with you guys.. O heck! I need to lie down..
Later~

Yeech!

Who would have believed?
The English test was kinda funn!! I mean, me and the girls had fun taking pictures as we walked to the MPH!
Hihhihi.. there's even this reaaaaaaaally neat video I took! Aaaahh!! I reaaaaaaally love taking photos!! Hihhihik! FUN FUN FUNNNN!!
The test was... humm... confusing! And crappy a bit. But I'll manage.. I don't think I'd fail.. just.. crappy marks!
Ok ok.. gotta runn!! Going back home in a bit.. Weeeeeeeeeee~!!!

At times like this, I wouldn't even care if I'm really falling.. Hihhik!

It doesn't hurt to be alone once in a while..
Just got back from what supposedly be a 'consultation' for English. I don't know why.. but going to, and back from English class on Fridays seems pretty good for my head, somehow. Mostly because I'd usually walk my troubles off.. and since I have class in the morning.. There wasn't many people around. So I don't have to look at people's faces (in case I should say 'hi' to them) or look cheery when I'm not. I can just.. be what I am feeling at the precise moment. I can let my head wander off to think about the things I have in mind.. and I can frown without anyone giving a damn why.. Kinda hurts to be what you don't feel.. Yeahh, I admit that I acted happy some times. 'Coz sometimes it's either their (the people around me) problems or troubles seemed bigger than mine or they just needs my attention. And I don't go around 'seeking' for attention or 'begging' to be heard.. or maybe I just prefer myself to keep my heart and mind. = Listen to me if you want, if not.. don't bother! And don't force me to say it.. 'coz I'll tell if I feel I should =
Aaaaahh! Good morning.. to be able to walk alone back from hanging around outside Ms Zaiha's room... ~ Ash : Don't you know it's alright to be alone.. you can make it on your own ~ Eh ehh.. don't worry peeps! I won't leave any of you guys alone.. Hehhe.. Nope, I won't do that.. I was merely stating that it's okay if any of you need to leave me alone.. I can manage.. I know I can.. Or I won't be like I am right now.. a minor cold-hearted b*tch. Hahhahaa!! No no nooo.. I'm not a b*tch.. But I can be a bit cold-hearted person sometimes. I wonder though.. is it because I'm such a spoiled brat, who needs just as much attention as everyone else but I had to give in too much?? Humm.. eventually I'll explode.. I'm kinda waiting for that moment. Just wanna see who's going to trigger it. Will it be myself?.. or someone else?
Waaaaaaaahh~!!! Now I'm feeling even more crappier!! Papaaaa!! Don't tell me I have to break-fast over here agaaain!! Huwaaaaaaa~!!!! I HATE!!

Current song : I Can't Catch You by Sixpence None The Richer
~ If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself. What's there to love about myself? ~
Mid-way to shedding this unwanted tears..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
What's up with meee??!! I was like really reaaaally hyper earlier tonight..
After that chicken (hehhe) I was like.. making silly jokes with Ana.. and we replied each other's Y! M status messages along with Fariz.. It was fun.. Ehehhe..
But noww..
I just don't know why but my head just feels so..................................... MESSY!! Sooo............. CRAMPED!!
Why? Why? WHYYY???!!!!
This suxX!!

I HATE!!

I Can't Catch You

I guess you could say I'm a little afraid
What if you go away? I've seen it before,
I've been here before.
If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself.
What's there to love about myself?
I just wan't to see that as a person you want me.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.

I guess I would say that I want you to stay
'Cause you have this strange knack,
Adds a glow to my black as you chase it all away.
And I hope that you can see I will someday leave these things.
I am waiting to be free.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.
Oh, I want to catch you.

Sixpence None The Richer

Wondering as I wandered..
Yaaah~! Just got back from that Cybervaganza bazaar over the surau! Hihhihi!! Not really THAT fun but I guess it was okay.. lightens up my mood a bit.. The feeling for break-fast was there.. seeing all those people buying food for their break-fast! Hihhi.. Though.. me, Ana and Majin kept on wandering around.. with no idea what to buy.. Saw loads of people around there.. Even Che Mat.. that Beta lecturer was there! Hihhihi.. And Juvita was there as well.. so I said.. 'tak pose pon ade gak kat sini!' Hihhihi!!
~ pause ~
Hihhihi.. break-fast!! The ayam percik was soo soooooo nice!! Hihhihi!! Now I really feel happy for break-fast! ^_^
Oh yeahh.. hihhihi! Forgot about the part when we decided on what should we buy.. Hehhe.. So we were wandering around.. meeting up our friends.. and finally deciding on AYAM PERCIK!! Which I totally regret.. the fact.. that I just bought one!! Hahahhah!! It was seriously nice!!
Can't wait 'til tomorrow! Going back home.. able to eat with Papa, Mama and Nina.. can even ask Papa to get AYAM PERCIK!! Ahahhahha!! Sorry.. going totally crazy over that.. Hihhihi!! I totally.. absolutely.. appreciate the chicken!! Yummy..!! Weeeeeeeeee!!! So tomorrow morning I'll be having my English 'til eleven (supposedly) and at 2:30 there'll be that writing test in MPH.. and then I can go back!! Yeaaayy~!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee~!!

Current song : I'd Rather Be In Love by Michelle Branch
~ Without you.. I'm alone.. And I'd rather be in love with you ~