uUu aAa my shampoo smells SO good!
Hihhihik! I love my new shampoo!! Hihhihik! Really like the scent.. What shampoo am I using?
Guy : Yang, harini abang balek
Girl : Iye kee..
('Suami pulang' in her journal and she goes back home to shampoo her hair)
As the guy comes home,
Guy : Cantiik isteri abang.
Ahhahaha!! Anyways.. this should be a pretty long day for me. I'll have to do my Fundamental and Graphics.. and maybe if I get the time, I'll sort out my songs! Hihhihik.. Now.. since I am sleepy already.. maybe I should do something less streanous.. Sort out my list!!!

oOooO.. my head feels so light.. hihhihik!

Truth hurts?
How far does a truth hurts? Is it really the truth that hurts.. or the lie or confusion that was covering up the truth?
Heehee.. it really depends on the certain person. Some people would choose to be lied at than knowing the truth. And to some people, they really aprreciate the truth.. and in some occasions, they're even happy with the truth! ^_^
Now, an outspoken person usually prefers the truth. Because they themselves only talk about the truth and it's not their nature to tell lies. And they'd appreciate it if the people around them would do the same. As for me.. I think I fall in this category. I mean, better get things straighten out than keeping ourselves in confusing matters, right? I mean, even if it hurts.. it'll only hurt a while. When we're confused.. we tend to think about it so much! So yeah.. hit me hard with the cold fact, next time. Pondan-pondan tak main laa Ahhahha!! I mean.. it's no use of telling just some parts of the truth.. Really.. just get it all out!
The other category is those people who REALLY lives in their thoughts and dreams. And, well.. people with some bit of mental instability.. Hihhihik! What I mean is, they'd really lose it if they found out the truth. They didn't want to be lied at, but they'd prefer it than listen to some bad things about life. Nothing should ruin their 'perfect' lives.
So, does truth really hurts? I'd say.. absolutely NOT. Truth helps a person to realize their surroundings and stop living in dreams..
As Rowling's character,Professor Dumbledore said in Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone.. It does not do to dwell in dreams, and forget to live..

Nothing hurts more than confusion and lies..

Adehh..
Segan nyer la rase bila dah start cite memacam ekk?
Aduhaaaaaaai.. camne nak tarik balek ni? I don't feel the same way as I did some hours ago..
Alemaaak.. takpelahh.. tido dulu! Hihhiik!

Huhuu.. a dumb present for my ego.. *demm*

Gedik la korang!
Hihhihihik...!! Anaaaa.. Anaaa... orang time memalam tido taau! Adehh.. sakit perut layan Ana..
Like the thing I was supposed to do some minutes ago.. Like the thing I was DOING some minutes ago! AHHAHHA!! I really don't know what woke me up from that odd soothing dream I had. I was like.. alone.. in a wide.. WIDE space.. and I honestly like it!! Hahhahha~! Being alone is not all that bad, 'aight? Heehee~!!!
Don't you think it's funny? It's in the middle of the night.. and I suddenly woke up and say that I'm going to be just fine. Hahhaha!! I amaze myself.. ^_^
Now that it's all straighten out.. Gosh! I never felt this happy.. I mean.. all the stuff in my head.. all the things I've been hessitating to let go.. I can really reaaaaally do it!! Yeayy~!! Happy~ happy~ happy~!! Well, yeah.. a bit sad, now that I've really made my mind to move on, away from my childish memories.. but I'm really happy that I have made the right choice! Hihhihik! Xceed!! AHHAHAHA!!! Gosh, I am sooo talking rubbish right now! Naahh.. I wasn't talking about those Celcom prepaid stuff.. I was talking about my life! Live life, peeps! It's SO worth it! ^_^
Now.. all I have to do right now.. is clean up my stupid playlist coz none of them suits my feelings right now! ^_^ Kinda weird though.. I mean, I've been listening to the same list of songs since months and months ago and they're really horrible.. sappy.. mellow.. and sad!! How could I put up with them for so long?? It's really mind-boggling.. dingdong bell, pussy in the well.. Hahhahha!!! I must be losing my mind this night.. Talked about stuff that I shouldn't be talking about.. Well.. the things that I MIGHT be exageratting one bit. Huhhuuu.. ooOoOps! My mind has a weird way of conveying some messages. So kepada sesiapa yang terase lebih-lebih tuu.. Harap maaf ekk.. I was only half serious.. ^_^
Okie.. I REALLY have to get my sleep..!! Owhh.. my precious complexion! AKKAKKAKA!!!

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.. clap~ clap~! "Smeagol is freeeeee!!"

Feel so pathetic and dumb
Yeahh.. maybe 'coz I've been listening to one of that Steps songs! HAHHAHHA!! I listened to STEPS! Can you believe that?! Ahhahha!! Gosh, my IQ just dropped 10 points.
I was pretty sleepy just now. Went into my bed.. clear up my stuff.. and lay down.. And my mind drifted into something that made my head much worse.. I mean, messy! It has gotten really messy these days that I wish I could just sleep for the entire day!
So, what makes my head messy? Ahhahha!! Fundamental and Graphics of course!! I really have to do something about them! Haven't started one single bit!! Eeeeeek!! All the work I did is my CE journal. It's funn!! REALLY!! Mine is soooo silly.. but very ME! ^_^ Kinda embarassing now, that I've thought of it. I mean.. all my friends haven't started it yet! And I'm like... so NERDY!! OH MY GOD!! I've started that freaking journal!! Hahhahahha!!
So anyways.. I guess I should start my Graphics somewhere tonight. Unless... ehh!! Is there anyone out there who's willing to do that project for me?? Please please pretty pleeeaaaasseee! Hihhihhik! Naaah.. I should depend on my own, 'aight? Keje tak siap, padan muka la kan? Sape suruh main je memanjang, kan?
Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepyyy... But my head is just too messy!! Huwaaaaaa!!

Current song : It's The Way You Make Me Feel by Steps

It's the way you make me feel
(the way that you make me feel)
Spinning my world around
Tell me how can I walk away
I don't care what they say
I'm loving you anyway
It's the way you make me feel

And the new week begins!
Heehee! A new surroundings for those standard one kids. Not that it concerns me.. I don't have a lil' brother or sis! But now that it got into my head.. did any of you guys out there remember what was it like on your first day of school?
Well.. I sorta remember that day. It was the very first day I met loaaads of people of my age. (I didn't go to kindergarten!) Kinda creepy at first.. and funny now that I remember it! That morning before Papa sent me to school.. he asked me to count my pocket money. So I went, seposen, dua posen, tiga posen, pat posen, lima posen, nam posen, tujuh posen, lapan posen, semilan posen.. seposen! Yeahh.. a sign how stupid I was with Maths.. My whole family still laughs at me about that 'incident'.. it's not like, my fault that I didn't knew that 'singgit' comes after 'semilan posen'!!
And this morning I asked my dad.. did he waited for me.. until recess time or even 'til the time to go home.. and he said they (my parents) didn't. They waited just for a little while to see how was I doing, and there's this one moment when I showed my knuckles to the guy who sat next to me.. and so they thought that I would be just fine.. Heehee! And so stupid of me to raise up my hand at the wrong name! Hahhaha~! 'Coz there was this girl with the name Hazwanie.. and I'd get confuse, and when the teacher calls up her name, I'd raise my hand as well.. Really embarassing! I did that for almost the entire year! Stupid... stupid..
Honestly, I did PLENTY of stupid stuff back then that I'm just totally embarassed to tell in here! ^_^
So what did I do last weekend? Nothing much really.. went around KL to find more stuff for Nina's wedding.. and went back kampung to discuss more stuff about that big day. I just hate the fact that now that the day is getting nearer, everyone gets a bit tense. I know my dad got mad at me last Friday for one stupid reason! Urrghhh! It's so frustrating.. and made me realise that resolution #6 (in my diary) is doomed to fail! It was actually to be more homely.. y'know.. stay at home/in my room.. do as I was told.. But when my dad got mad at me.. humm, naah! That one should be thrown out the window!! I wasn't born to shut up and listen! I wasn't born to stay put! I'm supposed to be a rebel, for God's sake!! HAHHAHAH!!! Thrashing and kicking is my game..! ^o^
Humm.. one long week this will be. It's a full 5-days week. Have to stay 'til Friday since I have an extra Maths class in the morning.. Huuu.. and I forgetfully left Ziraf and Toy Dolphin at home! Isyk!.. good thing I still have my owl and an extra pillow.. Hihhihihihik!!

So easy to make someone fall in love, but what does it take to make them fall out of it?

The Mysterious Thing Called LOVE

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you,
be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you.
Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love him/her,
feel honoured that love came and called at your door,
but gently refuse the gift you cannot return.
Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.
How you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and he/she falls in love with you,
and then love chooses to leave,
do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, let it go.
There is a reason and there is a meaning.
You will know in time.
Remember that you don't choose love.
Love chooses you.
All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you.
Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love,
they understand love only as a need.
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love,
and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them
rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
but as their love cools,
they revert to seeing their love as need.
They cease to be someone who generates love,
and instead become someone who seeks love.
They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart.
Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying.
You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away
when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover,
there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT MAY COME AGAIN.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints in our hearts.
And we are never, ever the same.

Never say I love you.. If you really don't care
Never talk about feelings.. If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand.. If you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to.. If you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes.. If all you do is lie
Never say hello.. If you really mean good bye
Never say forever.. 'Cause forever makes me cry
If you really mean forever.. Then say you will try

Neat neaaat.. Thanks Alitt!

Way over my head
AHHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAA!!
I am waaaay too 'something' today.. I mean, I'm feeling a wee bit different today.. A bit.. hyper I guess. Hik!
Okay... my new year's resolution.. I find number two to be doomed to fail. Hahhaha!! I shouldn't be more selfish than I already am.. Hehh! If I am, that would strike out myself as a human.. Huhhuuu..
Humm.. Wedding Update One month before the big day. Not MINE, mind you.. Nina, my sister's! Tension starts to build up.. Hahhaha! Even I can feel it!! aaAaaAaaaAAAaaAaA!!!! I'm getting all spooked out about all this. Just one month.. it felt somewhat a bit rushing.. honestly, if I'm in Nina's place right now, instead of asking my 'future husband' to live together.. I'd probably ask him to die togetherrr!! AHHAHAH!! Huuu.. that was a bad joke, really..
aaAaahh! Alitt forwarded me something pretty neat! Gonna post it in a bit..
oOo yeahh.. I FINALLY CUT MY HAIR!! And it's SHORT!! Heehee!! It's been like.. super long time ago since the last time I had it short! The whole last year, all I did was trim it. Yeeheehee! Nina said it made me look 'younger'. Hahhaha!!
Owhkiee. Somehow I feel absolutely blank..

Looking things at the bright side now, but the dark side is still within me..

New Year's Resolution!
What a terrific year. Seriously! I do think that this is the MOST educational year that I've ever had! Hihhihik! I really had my ups and downs this year, and it's just cool when I think about it! What I should keep to myself.. and the things that I have to let go when it comes to the right time. ^_^
Someone once told me that when I get 18, I'll see that some things will change.. Now that I've come to look at it myself.. I see that I thought things have changed, but it turned out to be just the same..

SO! Number one on my New Year's resolutions list.. never trust people's words easily! Hahhaa~! That'd be hard for me.. you'd know that if you've really known me. So if someone says that they care for me.. I'd probably be a bit sceptical.. hehhe! ^_^ It just suxX when you say some things truthfully from your heart and you're replied with empty words..
Number two on my list.. probably learn how to express myself better. Nyehnyehh! I don't know.. kinda boring when people thinks that I have no problems at all when deep inside I feel like exploding with mixed emotions.. I really need to shake off this 'happy-go-lucky' and cheery theme. That'd be super hard though.. I remember in my school days.. even when I had a rough morning.. but as I see either of my friends had a sour face.. I'd usually smile anyways.. Gotta keep someone in the gang positive, 'aight? But heyy, I do need to take care of my own feelings too..! Especially now..
Be more independent is in number three! Hehhek! I'll start off with going shopping alone. Hahhaaa~! That sounds stupid, though. But I do need to be more independent!! Who can you count on, if not yourself? Your friends won't be there for you forever. (Yeah, I'm telling myself that everyday, now) Well, this year, I realized that I've been depending too much on the people around me. I need to make up my own mind starting from now.. Huuuuuu... Though.. err.. I'd still need my dad to pick me when there's break in the schedule. Hihhik! Even if it's a short break.. hihhihik! Not like I have any strong reasons to stay here! Hihihik!
Number four.. Less Y! M.. serious in classes!! Hahhahhaaa~!! My family would sure laugh if they see this. ME! Wanie! Serious! In anything? Especially class?!! Hahhahaa~!!! I'm laughing as well..! ^o^ Well, the Messenger part won't be hard. It's not like I need to be online so much, these days. Amazing, how I've gotten bored of this 24 hours of free internet. But the hard part about this one.. Huhhu.. LESS DOODLE, MORE NOTES! Yes, I'll try.. Huhuuu.. though, I'm pretty surprised that I'm never too affected by the things I do. I mean, if I goof around during classes. Could it be that I'm just usually dumb? Hahhaha! Well, I need to try and get serious. I should see how far I can get without silly distractions.. ^_^
And the final resolution.. (for now) Number five is EAT MORE!! Hahhahha~!! My family is starting to say that I look pale again. Huwaaaaa!! Doctor suxX!! I hate hospital and I hate pills! Sringes suxX even more! Scary.. scary.. I really reaaaaaally need to take meal times seriously. Huhuu..! Arrkk! Gets scary when sometimes I get tired so easily.. Huhuuu..

I realize that I've been learning a lot about the new terms in relationships this year. I used to have my good friends by my side all the time in school. Going to MMU.. parted me from them, and it really suxX! I really think that I'm too young to go to this stage (and I still think that way) First day of college life.. SCARY! Kept thinking about the friends I'll make.. my roomies.. Huwaaaaa!! ROOMIES!! The scariest part, truthfully. I remember when the person at the MPH door told me to come in alone. Huu.. I really wished I could drag my father along. Then walking in the killing sun towards the hostel.. got into my room and saw Fina with her family. Huhuu.. it was a pretty awkward situation. Later when I've put all my things in my room, I asked myself.. Did I went into the right room?!! Hahhaha~! So I tested my keys.. and yess, it's really my room. Later that afternoon, I met the other roomie, Ana! ^_^ Amazing that I've seen Fina at my school before since she was in her school Dikir Barat team while I took pictures of the competition since I'm with the Photography Club in my school. What a small world, huh!
It's just neat to look back in time, and see what you've gone through.. what have you learn from it. If you haven't done this before, make some time! Get a pen and paper.. get comfy and just.. remember! (the pen and paper is just for you to write something or just doodle on some stuff like I do.. hihhihik!) 1997 and 2001 was the year for total stupidity, 1998 and 2000 was my year of goofing off. 1999 was the year of fun and good findings. 2002 is the year for relationships. Neat neaaat!! Wonder what life will bring me in 2003!

pardon me for lingering around my memories..

Can't help myself..
o gosh.. my close friends would sure be sad if they knew what i've been thinking about these days... huhhuuhu
saw the wedding singer just now. gosh! though i've seen it before, and i've heard the theme song loads of times before.. i still think it has the sweetest lyrics ever! hahhaha.. honest, and sweet.. really like the movie..
mle this morning was a bit crappy.. humm.. my mistake, i guess. but me and fina spent our time doodling on some stuff. guessing lyrics and all.. hehhe~!
hehhehe.. now, i just noticed that most of the songs in my playlist are sad ones. i wonder how it all got there.. honestly, i don't really think they're all that sad, but it just brought a few memories. good ones.. but it makes me sad that it's all in the past.. huhuuu.. and now i wonder if i'll ever have as much fun as i had in those days..
demm! why is it so hard to forget? why is it so hard to let go? why is it so hard to hide away my feelings? this suxX!
but honestly, it doesn't suck as much as when a person we cared.. (and still do) thought that you had felt something that you didn't.. that really hurts.. but i guess that person will never know how i really feel.. too thick to understand, perhaps.. and i won't be around to answer if the person asks about it.. just.. i don't know.. i don't know what i feel anymore. i don't want to know!

current song : Stranded by Plumb
it's coming over you, it's coming over me
crashing like a tidal wave and drags me out to sea
i wanna be with you, you wanna be with me
crashing like a tidal wave, i don't wanna be..
stranded

These are my three-days worth of entry.. Nyehnyehh~

Friday - AaarrRrggHHhh!! Didaaaaaa!! Ninaaaaa!!
Stop making me feel concious 'bout my butt!! Sheesh!
Neways, remember last week when I said life's not that hard.. and I can get through it.. I take that back!!! It's hard on me, and I'm starting to get tired from telling myself that I'll be okay. Huwaaaaaa!! I'm tired of hoping.. I'm losing hope!! Huwaaaaaaa!! I feel so sad these days.. What pathetic life I'm having..
Hik.. I've seen my second round of The Two Towers! Hihhihik!! Makes me love Legolas more and more. Gosh!! Wish I could bump into someone like him one day.. Hahhahaa~! Pretty amazing that LOTR was his first movie. He just got out from his acting academy when his agent suggested that he should go for the audition, and he got the part!! And the coolest part about Orlando Bloom.. he's a real extreme-sports guy!! Hahhaha~! He has sky-dived, bungee-jumped and loads more stuff! Severed many of his bones and still standing!! Heehee~!! So sooo cool! And he's pretty hyper too! You'd know that if you saw The Making.. of that movie. and.. he's only in his mid twenties! Hihhihik! Can't believe that I've forgotten his birthdate.. huu.. gotta find that out some bit later.. o yeahh.. it's January 13th..!

I'm standing cluelessly in between of the truth and my dreams..

Saturday - And yet I still wonder..
Tiring daaayy.. went out for the whole day. Woke up around eight so I could come along in sending Dida to the bus station in Putra. (That's just across Nina and Mama's office) Owh! I guess I forgot to mention about that. Nina's now working with Tourism Malaysia as well as my mom, and she's actually one of the Assistant Director. Cool name, huh? But she haven't got any work yet. Hehhe!
So after sending Dida onto the bus, Mama and Nina went back to their offices (it was just 10 o'clock) while me and Papa went onto the STAR train and got ourselves in Jalan Masjid India. Honestly, I'm starting to enjoy looking around for marriages stuff. Hahhaa~! The varieties of bunga telur and bunga pahar just amazes me. There're loaaadddss of them!! Serius, banyak tau!! Kalau Wanie, tak tau nak pilih mane! Good thing I have at least five years to think about that. Okehh.. > Confession! < (you asked for this, Rai) Honestly, I've never thought about when I want to get married.. But SERIOUSLY.. I've thought.. that I should at least have a steady boyfriend by 24. Hehhe! Aaaannyways.. It's just fun to look around for those things. Funny though.. as me and my dad looked around, we noticed that plenty of people stared at us. What?! Is it too odd if if a girl walks around with her dad with her hands in his?? Huhh??! My dad even noticed a guy spun to look at us even after he's walked past us. Heehee~! Maybe he thought I'm too young to be a mistress.. hehhehek!!
So, right when Nina and Mama's office hours were over.. we went back kampung to discuss with some people 'bout Nina's wedding.. khemah.. menu.. menda menda gitu Honestly, I have no time for myself now that I'm taking part for the marriage!.. which is good 'coz God knows what I'll be thinking about if I have too much spare time.. Huu.. though I really wanted to go to Ana's open-house.. but I was in my grandma's house until sunset. But then, we had early dinner at that place in Klang.. what is it called? Emporium? And saw this cute guy who works there.. ahhahhaa!! Papa.. jom gi Klang lagik! Well, he doesn't look like Orlando but he's pretty cute.. Hihhihik!
Funny that you thought you knew something when you actually don't.. and funny if you noticed how much I'm using the word 'funny' in my blog these days! HAHHAHA!! I do think my life is funny these days. It's just so surprising that I can't help myself to laugh. Heehee~!

Pabila bulan bersinar memberikan cahaya biru,
Dan hanya diri terpaku menggapai sinaranmu,
Hulurkanlah tanganmu kepadaku,
Jangan biarkan diriku sendiri merindu padamu..
Misha
Sunday - I'M supposedly FINE!!
I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine.. I'm fine..! God, I'm tired of convincing myself that. Honestly, I AM fine.. but there are just some points when I just.. stood mindlessly again.
Eyh.. eyhh!! About my webby.. I know I've been promising over and over again.. but now it's final!! I'll update it in mid-January in due of something important to someone important.. Hohhoho!
Heehee.. Papa told me a funny story about Jasmin.. AHHAHAHA!! Nina.. Nina.. that's your luck! ^o^ Eyh, Rai.. you said you'd come, 'aight?! Datang taaau!
Amazing, when you think about your luck.. and fate. And your destiny.. huhhuu.. Sometimes you'd wonder how did it happen to you, sometimes you'd wonder how was it possible that you could've gone through that. It's just amazing!!!
2002 is a good year!! Good good year!! I love this year!! I think I've grown up a lil' in this year. AHHAHAHA!!! Though, I'm still Papa's lil' gurl. My dad said he'd be surprised if I come home one of these days with a handbag. Hehhehek! He could just imagine me with a sling bag. Hehhek! Handbag is too much mature for me. And now that I've got myself a sneaker.. Yeaaaayy~!! I can get back to my old self. Tapi alamaaak.. kena tuka whole wardrobe lah! I miss my old self! Baju kurung with sneakers.. Hehhehe.. my parents didn't approve that, but I just HAVE to rebel! Yeeheehee~!
I've decided some things for my resolution!! Hahhahhaa~!! And I'll start some of it ASAP.. ^_^

IHTFT You're not gone but you're not here..

ouch~!
two things i need to take note of to start letting go...
1 stop myself from reading old posts and my scrapbook (which i've taken care of since i already bought a new one.. the old one has ran out of clean pages! ehhehe..)
2 shut my ears if i ever listen to kris dayanti's songs and other sappy malay love songs.. ahhahaha!! except misha's.. 'coz i really like her songs.. even if it's sappy and torturing.. and making me get head aches! hehhek~!

How odd...
majin.. nak balek buku wanie.. tak puas lagi nih bace.. rinduuu! selagi tak sampai 4 round, selagi tu wanie tak puas! hehhek~!
okay.. tengah malas nak cakap english.. so kite bebel in malay lak. skali skala... hehhehek!
neways... pagi yang bengong.. rasenye mase bangun tadi okay.. kat umah tadi okay.. jalan gi kelas tadi okay.. bile balek bilek jadi tak okay lak.. camne tuhh?
kenape kadang kadang.. terase cam sakiiiiiiiiiit sangat hati.. ke sebenarnye kite mengade je lebih?
kadang kadang terase nak menjerit.. tapi kite tak nak orang denga.. sebab nanti diorang tanye kalau kite ok.. mestila kite tak ok!! kalau tak, kenape nak jerit?!
kadang kadang hati terase beraaaat sangat.. tapi kite tak tau macam mane nak cakap. macam mane nak start? sedangkan kite sendiri susah nak percaye.. macam mane kite nak lepaskan kat orang lain?
and kadang kadang tu.. paling tak tahan bile kite tau ape yang kite nak cakap.. tapi kite tak dapat nak cakap.. sebab kite tak mau susahkan hati orang lain.. 'coz we care about them.. sakit hati ek? and kite pon tak nak dia ingat kite selfish.. sebab bukan tu maksud kite... sedihnye laa rase bile kena camtu. kenape things camtu happen ekk?
cam.. kite betul betul nak orang tu tau macam mane kita betul betul rasa.. tapi kita faham sangat, kalau kita cakap mesti dia rase lagi sedih dari ape yang kite rase. kite tak mo dia rase camtu.. but kite nak lepaskan rase hati nih... macam manaaaaaaaaaaaaa??!!!! geram nye raseeeee!! rase cam nak bagitau sumer orang yang kite jumpe.. tapi lagi kite cakap pasal tu, lagi kite rase sedih! huwaaaaaaaa!! nape jadi camni ekk..
rasenye cam lagi elok bergaduh dari jadi camni. hahhaha~! lagi lak nak sedih bile orang nak cakapkan bagi pihak. wanie bukannye marah.. cuma sedih.. and bodoh la..! dahlaa bengong.. nak besakan benda benda yang kecik plak..hisy! kenape jadi mengade sangat nieeehhhh!!
okaylaa.. wanie dah penat pikir banyak sangat.. kalau dah suruh let go tu.. kite kena aje laa ikut kan?
owhh.. kalau ade sesaper yang tak tau nape aritu wanie cakap kalau wanie elf, wanie dah mati... elf ni immortal.. but, they can die from kesedihan. kesian ekk? hehhe.. bukan kat wanie laa.. kat elf!

let go...

New Resolutions!!
hehhe.. kinda funny.. thinking about this whole year.
all the bumps and humps i've had through.. all those laughs and tears.. it's really cool to reflect on the whole year.. i think i'll spend my weekend.. writing on my new year's resolution! hehhehek!
now i wonder why i didn't took up mass communication or something like that. aarghhh! my mistake! maybe i should think about that one after i graduated this one.. hehhek! though.. i know my family would be really surprised if i made that sort of decision.. hahhaha!! me.. further my studies! and everybody knows that i'm just lazy at that!!! ahhahaha~!
going to class now.. later-!

I Can't Catch You

I guess you could say I'm a little afraid
What if you go away? I've seen it before,
I've been here before.
If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself.
What's there to love about myself?
I just want to see that as a person you want me.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.

I guess I would say that I want you to stay
'Cause you have this strange knack,
Adds a glow to my black as you chase it all away.
And I hope that you can see I will someday leave these things.
I am waiting to be free.
But I'm feeling the pain of all these bags in the way,
And I'm thinking you're just gonna run away,
And I can't catch you.
Oh, I want to catch you.

Sixpence None The Richer

ex-xxxxx.. A question of believe..
Hey heyy!! Got back from home this morning.. and going back again after my classes! Weeee!! Why? 'Coz my sisters roxX!! I really thank God for my fate with them. Hehheh~! Going to see my second round of The Two Towers this evening!! Yeayyy~!!! Thanks Nina.. Dida..!! Hihhihik!
So.. what was this week like? HORRIFYING!! Truly.. madly.. SCARY! I've had two rough weeks in a row.. and now that I've calmed myself.. and got some time off.. and think of what really happened.. I have to say that life is not that hard.. I can get through this!! Hehheh!! Well.. if things haven't happened to you before.. keep in mind that there'll be a start of something! ^_^ I have to say that I am really.. reaaaaaaally fine. Nothing to worry! Though, I realize that I have nothing much left to look forward to in tomorrow. Everything just gets blurry these days.. Hey Niez! I still need to see youuu! Hihhihik! I have this need to shop!! I don't know how.. but if I buy some things for myself.. that can make me happy! Huu.. scary, huh? But not that scary.. 'coz I'm usually happy.. and that means I don't need to shop a lot! ^_^
Now.. ever heard of a saying that goes like 'What goes round, comes around'? Amazingly.. that's what happened to me! I did something to a certain someone.. and now, after two years.. someone else did it to me.. for the same reasons!! It hurts, really.. but I can smile about it, now.. God!! Can't believe that I am capable of saying some things that can make it hard on the ones I care and on myself!! Hahaaa~! Goodness.. thank God I have my ego to save myself from getting myself into any more sticky situation.. hik!
Okie.. so Dida brought home a Malay album.. that Misha girl.. and I have to say.. I LIKE HER SONGS!!!! 'Coz she has a really nice voice.. Honest!! Really reaaaaaaaally like her songs. And now that Dida have also brought home Nick Carter's album.. I feel obligated to find the MP3 for this one song.. aaAaaAaA.. it's a very very sweet song.. **but I need the world, now** which happens to only require a guitar! Ohhohoho!
Just realized some of the irony in life.. Amazing isn't it? When you look into a person.. even into their eyes.. You thought they sparkled with such happiness from their smiles. But deep inside their hearts.. they mourn for a story that you never knew of..
Hehh.. Pandai kau tukar topik ek Rai! Gile banyak kredit aku abes call kau.. sheesh!
Now.. hopefully there won't be any class for me tomorrow.. I'd be SUPER DUPER lazy for it.. Yeech~!

Misha's songs are neaatt!!

Hehhee... funny that I actually downloaded this song yesterday afternoon..
Jangan Diucap Selamat Tinggal

Kumencari -kumencari apakah salahku
Kau buat ku termenung seorangan
Dalam diri sangsi
Akhirnya begini
Perpisahan tak ku duga

Kumengerti kufahami keputusan diri
Biar saja aku sebegini
Permintaan terakhirku jangan kau lafazkan
Simpan saja kata-kata

Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Jangan kau ucap selamat tinggal
Jangan diucap selamat tinggal
Kepadaku...

Walaupun seketika, walau sekelip mata
Simpan saja kata-kata ke akhir hayat yang ada

Shades

I just hate the fact that I understand it so well..
What a funny start-of-term. Gosh.. I believe anyone would be surprised if they're in my shoes right now. (but of course, I'm not wearing any shoes at this moment since I'm in my room! Hehhek!)
Ummm.. better concentrate on my studies anyways. That would be one of my NEEDS. Can't believe how lucky I got through these years. When I was diagnosed for something.. got serious about it for just some months.. when I should eat and still be taking some stuff (but I didn't).. It didn't got worse! I'm still here.. fooling around.. and still got this far. I just keep amaze myself these days.. Hehhehh! Really should start getting serious about those important stuff. Huhhuu.. now I'm getting afraid of letting the ones I care, down. Reaaaaally have to get my mind straight, and concentrate on these important stuff... And I just turned 18!!! I should have a long way to go.. (that's if my prediction all this while is wrong!) Hehh!
Oh heck.. things happen for a reason.. and I'm taking the things that had happened to me as a sign. Heyy.. if sad things happen to you all at once, that SHOULD mean something, 'aight? Last week was horrible for me.. new things happened to me.. but I was thankful that one sort of thing didn't happen to me at that time.. but now that it had happened.. I am also thankful, that it got me realize the things I should think of, before I start jumping onto some stuff.
2002.. what a year. I'll sure remember this year forever for it taught me a lot of things...

Funny that I sensed it someway.. and refuse to take note of it..
And funny that if I were born as an elf.. I would've died...

I Will Remember You

I'm so tired but i cant sleep
standin on the edge of somethin much too deep
its funny how we feel so much but cannot say a word
we are screaming inside but we can't be heard

i will remember you
will you remember me?
dont let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories

i'm so afraid to love you but more afraid to lose
clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose
once there was a darkness deep and endless night
you gave me everything you had oh you gave me light

and i will remember you
will you remember me?
dont let your life pass you by
weep not for the memories

weep not for the memories

It's on my desk so I can always see it~
okie.. felt tired trying to finish my webby with this horrible keyboard. i'll try to get it done after the christmas..
ehhehe.. had fun with fina.. talking about crap.. watched the fellowship of the ring.. played around with my new teddy.. hihhik..
okiee.. kinda sleepy.. and i've got class for tomorrow morning.. huuhuu.. later!

ooo anaa.. wanie bagitau kat tu.. tuu.. karaaang..