...something must be very wrong with me

just woke up from a sleep 'coz prisca been calling (but said nothing!)
still haven't animate anything for maya..
and my friends have been awake to finish their animations (as i sleep!)
hummph... rase terok 'coz i didn't feel the slightest guilt when i went to sleep and actually plan to get up when i do.. huhuuu... terokkkk!!
but heyy.. i'm awake now.. :|
yoshhhh~!!!

suddenly brushed with a bad-mood-wind. bluerthhhh!!
[5:23 am]

X(
SOOOO!! upset (angry kind of upset) with maya!!! tried to make the ball move but it won't budge even one bit!!! (perhaps i am a bit cow on this.. but fukk lahh!!!!!!!) vavi la ko satu satu, pedulik ape aku!! die~! honestly.. it just ticks me more than making me worry.. die~! (not me, maya!)
pe - du - likkk !!!!!!!
better do something else that has a rather calming effect on me than this stupid stupid thing that just pisses me off!!!
dari aritu.. been "angry" with maya ek? not "worry" at all.. gila kot.. :|
marahnyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! marah sampai nangis... a*hole!!!!!!!!

welcome back~ foul-mouth!
[6:21 am]

good morning..! (good?? yeah right!!)
calmed myself by sleeping :)) now i'm calm enough to look at maya again after another 3 hours of sleep. so calm that my stupidity doesn't bother me at all!! i've resolute to do what i can.. send in what i have.. animated or not! :)) gambler.. perhaps! i should be a gemini for that. :))
honestly i'm really a cow at this thing!
so anyways.. should get back to trying to make the ball at least roll over instead of bouncing at the same spot in slow motion! hahahha!! ngok betol~!

but i do feel like going back to sleep 'coz the 'sakit ati' feeling is building up again
[10:37 am]

>:D<
huuuuuge thanks to the hobbitses!!! don't know what i'd do without you.. well, i do! but.. you guys are such a huuuuge help!!!! i know i'm a lazy cow, no doubt about that.. and you peeps still help me.. :"> don't know what else to say...
thank youuuuuu!!!
(submitted maya!)
now my only job is to print out my name for the photo i'm about to send tomorrow... *sigh* wondering if the lecturers will accept the tagline i am using.. :-S


i owe my media animation grades to the hobbitses
[3:29 pm]

*shiver*
lapa lapa lapaaa... sangat lapaaa~!!
loading up with sugar as i eat some oreos. nak turun, but malas! dahlaa tak mandi laie! HAHAHHA!! syhhhh~! :-$ went to media animation without having a bath (tak sempaaat!!) but i looked as if i had my shower.. so tak kesah la! hahhaha!! :)) so, since i'm having a lazy wave right now.. i'm going to eat up what ever i have around the room. heehee~ :D
alang alang, nanti mandi petang terus..! :))
uploaded the pictures from ritual rabu.

shiver shiver
[5:55 pm]

my saviour~*

is my mother!
hahaha!! she gave me money and i call her a 'saviour'.. tak patut betul.. my mother is my mother.. i have no saviour for i don't need saving. (really?) (i think!) bluerthhh~!! (merepek sudaaah!)
for some days i wish my 'inner-voice' is dead mute! hahahha!! confuses me so when i hear me judging myself. bluerrthh! i'm not really a good friend to myself lahh! :|

been spending the afternoon with the hobbitses. went out around 11 to get our photos printed. ikutlah kata kata si rosie who mentioned about a shop in sungai wang. circled the building but couldn't find the shop!! terok betul! :p end up with lily and prisca buying large posters, eyeing on neat pants and making a pack with rosie to go there again and shop for silly things next time. hahhaha!! merepek!
ohh, we got our photos printed in kelana jaya! hahaha!! and the guy in the shop has a fling on lily. hohh hoo!! (ade ajee!) baru ingat nak suka that guy for 'laughing' on my picture ('coz he gets it) but then he bugged lily pula. (he got her number from a book that we all put our names on)
o well, practically... design process.. done! (unless i'll get rejected later!)

ohh! i just changed my shampoo.. :D (ini pon nak cite) using clairol now. has a nice scent.. smelled like apple.. but leaves a not-so-nice texture to my hair. maybe 'coz i wore my tudung when it was still wet kot! hahahha!! (yeah, my hair like is SO the horrible - pemalaaas!) too lazy to care.. terok kan? *sigh*
[5:18 pm]

hahhah!! merosakkan kuku.. *sigh*

ekk! orang kate kalau mengeluh, cam kurang nyawa kan? i think i heard somebody said that before.. huhuu..!

i don't have the heart..
not that i totally lost it. but somehow i don't feel as strong as i used to.. hummph..
i started some project in january and i might stop it midway.. somehow i lose the courage to continue.. kinda sad really.. but i'll try to finish what i started.. :)
i hope the story won't end here.. i still wish there will be more. :)
try harder ya prisca? :D

yoshh~!! ganbatte wanie!!
you'll never know what the future might bring.. things can get better...!
[8:05 pm]

kenyaaaaaanggg!!!
went dinner with hobbitses except rosie (but including drogo!) heehee~ there was loaaads of food on the table and we all finished our rice! :)) there was tom yam campur, kangkung sambal belacan, udang masak pedas, tauhu sos tiram, daging masak merah, keropok lagi.. hahhaha!! i love a day with good food!! :)) didn't miss any meal today.. :x best sehhh!! :)) (gaya rempit here)
my weight right now is 47.5 kilos. (underweight!) hehhe.. used that weighing machine with that fortune cards siang tadi in sungai wang with prisca and rosie. mine said, "you are prolific in original ideas and impatient of old methods," heehee.. am i? i don't know.. :p

okay! this should be my last post for the day..
should start on my maya assignment (due tomorrow!). but first, finish up my presentation for design process and clear up my bed (so i can sleep without doing any work! hahhhaa!!) it's soooooo messy!! correction.. not only my bed is messy.. every corner of mine, is!! meja ni bersepahhh!! rase nak buang aje semua barang keluar tingkap! :))

[12:30 am] oops lupa repot!! as we arrived back in cyber tadi petang, saw ablen at the traffic light! hahha~! asyik nampak aje orang yang dikenali di situ. huhuu.. :p end of report! :D

getting back my mood.. :D
having back my heart! :x

seringkali..

seringkali diri ini diulit mimpi
mimpi mimpi indah yang membuai perasaan
namun mimpi hanyalah mimpi
aku terjaga jua di siang hari

siang, siang bertemankan malam
pabila siang aku keseorangan
mana hilangnya pasanganku?
sekali lagi bertemankan sendiri

alangkah indah kiranya malam berpanjangan
biar aku tenggelam dalam perasaan ini
realitinya aku seorang diri
namun sekurang kurangnya, aku bertemankan mimpi
[2:37 am]

bored..
so bored... :(
my mood ring doesn't show it.. but my heart it screaming with despair. entahlaa.. pelik kan? one minute i can laugh with joy.. but the other minute i'd scream with pain.. like a never-ending pms.
bosan betol!!!
rase nak muntah.. gosh, i hate this!!! (i usually feel like throwing up when i feel reaaaally crappy)
feels like i'm letting people down for being so messed-up. feels like i have let some down.. and will let someone down in the near future.. hummph.

been spending the night helping prisca and lily measure up their photos as rosie helped for my maya! :D should get my sleep.. supposedly be having a looong day ahead. class at 9 am. hummph! :|

Bizzare Love Triangle by Frente

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes, and it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine, and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

humm.. listening again to this. (and some other sappy songs) *sigh*

don't know if i should go ahead with the venti...... *sigh*

i can't catch you..
oh, i wanna catch you..
*sigh*

update!!
----------

phone bisuku tiba tiba berbunyi;

"Alamak..pc asha terestart laa pas2 xleh nak konek
balik..oops =P sleep well yah..jus don think much
of things dat r uncertain.b happy.always.gudnite
wanie...gudnite"
[3:21 am]

hehhe! thanks prisc! >:D<

kelisa kecil menjadi saksi..

when you have a love story.. the moon will be the witness.
but since we (hobbitses) made a different story tonight.. lily's car became our witness!!
ekkekeke! >:)
prisca and rosie lah niee! lily was the good sister.. watched us as we did our "thing" while i'm like the very-easy-to-persuade sister. honestly.. all they have to do is reach their hand, and i'll just grab it! hohoho!
but heyy! taking prisca's words.. live life.. try everything that you can! 'aight sis? :D

had an "entertaining" afternoon.. felt foolish for getting all angry tadi.. it was what i felt.. but not anymore lahh! just praying that God won't show me things that i don't want to see again. it'll break me apart for sure.. :(

butter butter butter
taco taco taco
ekkeke!! suddenly remembered creative communications' class in the late afternoon. fariz sebut takde feel!! hahhaha!! apelaa mrs. zaiha..

after class me and funguses (fungusAMONGUS; our media production team) had a meeting that last for about an hour. (record!!) that was the first time that we manage to hold a meeting that lasted less than two hours!! heeheee~!! had things to decide.. some detailed planning.. :) ohh!! had late lunch/early dinner in hb3 earlier and some funny things happened!! ohh!! but takdelaa funny sangat.. 'coz PEOPLE!! BE AWARE!! lain kali makan, check if there's unwanted insects in your food! tadi ade lalat dalam makanan priscaaaa... haaaaa!! *eeeeeeeeee* menakutkan!! so, careful people!!!
so anyways! at the end of the meeting, siape ntah brought up the idea of going to pyramid to get a mood ring! hahhaa!! (prisca already have one; she bought it yesterday!) so we (hobbitses) kinda ran to the car and started the "journey". ekkeke!!
now everyone has one!! hahhahaa!!
current ring color : blue (don't know what that means!)

okehh! tired! still got things to do! maya.. copywriting.. ever after!! hahhahaa!!!

geram.. tapi biarlaaah~
i should speak less and less of you

boncit!!!!

*insert curse here*

infuriated..
i really hate the fact that i'm an idiot git that can be easily influenced with jealousy!
*curse*
bonciiiiittttt!!!
tak ske tak skeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
tried so hard not to feel anything everytime i see it, but i do!! i'm not supposed to feel anything, really!! not of the place.. i shouldn't be.. no, i shouldn't be..
why am i feeling so angry like this?
bencinyee..
:(

i keep feeling the things i shouldn't be feeling. why do i keep myself wondering as much as this?
let go..
let go.
if others doesn't care.. why should you?
if he doesn't care.. why should i?
:(

aaahhh!! gila!! 8-}

anyways!!
surfed around on saliva.. and now waiting for the song always to finish download. i can't remember how it sounded but i know i liked it.. (supposedly) somehow i wrote the name of song in my scrapbook, so now i'm looking for the song. the lyrics was pretty neat, i think. heehee~

Always by Saliva

I hear, a voice say "Don't be so blind"
It's telling me all these things, that you would probably hide
Am I, your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you

I love you, I hate you, I can’t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you,done with you

I feel, like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things, I guess I'll see you around
Its all, been bottled up until now
As I walk out your door, all I can hear is the sound of

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you

I love you, I hate you, I can’t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you

I wrapped my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart?

Always... always... always... always...

I see, the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel, more like a man?
Was it all, just a part of your plan
The pistol's shaking in my hands and all I hear is the sound

I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can’t live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor and now I'm done with you

Always... always... always...

*curse*
(sorry.. tak tahan.. still angry for things)

o heyy! i just found out that josey scott is the vocalist of saliva! hahahha!! he sung hero with chad kroeger of nickleback. huhuuu~ ohh! and i saw the video clip of rest in pieces.. not nice at all! hahahha!! bongok btol la saliva nihhh..!

lambat btol la donlod lagu always nihhh! X(

bad mood...
tak bestnyeee.. :(
what makes it worse is that i can't even talk about it..
i shouldn't be feeling what i am feeling for there's nothing in between.. even if i tell about it, he'll surely think i am stupid.. :( well, he won't say "wanie, you're stupid!" but i will feel that way anyhow! and if i tell my friends about it.. they'll say i'm silly..
because i am...
and i don't need them to tell me that...
:(

marahnyee.. but it's no point
gonna be busy in some hours.

shahnon gile! :p

jangan kawan ngan dia X( hahahhaa!! jahat jahaaaaat!!

just got back! [10:40 am]
and should be getting ready for class 'coz it's 11:04 now!! hahahha!! (my class is on 11!) but i'm waiting prisca for the moment.. :D
had a pretty good weekend. slept through all the afternoon! hahhaha! and telly wasn't so bad, huh? Survivor is back!! it's disappointing how samboga kept being sent to the tribal council when they have rupert and ethan on the tribe. sheesh!! DISAPPOINTING!! kinda hard to pick a favorite this time 'round.. used to like very much colby, ethan and rupert! but i want that richard to lose!!! bluerghhh!! he's DISGUSTING.. getting all nude.. walking around. HAHHAHA!! i laugh about it 'coz it's disgusting.. pelik tak? heehee~
but jeff probst was FINE wasn't he?? that time in tribal council when it was raining... gaa~ gaaa~ arrrRrrR~ HAHHAHAHA!! sorry..! i like him very verrrrry much and he doesn't look bad at all, wet! HAHHAHAH!! :x :x
anyways!! nothing much to tell about the weekend, really.. but here's what i have;

thurdsday : mama's office was boring and her computer is too demm slow!
friday : phoebe as a mermaid? ha-ha!!
saturday : "Perhaps you will resolve to 'go steady' but be sure of it. If not, don't make the resolution" ha-ha!!
sunday : sleep sleeeeeep!!

gotta go!!
prisca is at stad!!

ritual rabu

it's always on wednesdays..
always park on the same spot..
did practically the same things.. :D
gelak gelak..!!

ekkekekekke!!
remembering something..
so i wait 'til lily gave me the pix we took just now.

okehh!! spent like.. 4 hours with the hobbitses! :x dining.. talking.. just hanging..! it was kinda neat, though it kinda felt.. quiet somehow. (i was, at least) entah mengapa tiada cerita untuk diceritakan.. but,
i want a mood ring!!!!!!!
drogo showed his and i was totally amused!! teringat the mood ring i had at school.. but got lost, somehow! geram btol!! nak mood ring!!!! naaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkk!!!
just then when i was wearing the ring, it turned to purple/dark blue as others had green.. wonder what that means!
never had a mood ring on?? play with this!

anyways!! arrived back in cyberjaya at 1:30 am. after dropping off prisca and drogo in cyberia, and rosie at hb4, me and lily went around putrajaya for about an hour.. time really flies with that car, huh lil? so addictive!!
thanks for getting me around.. :x Tengkiuuuuuuu lily!!! i really like getting into cars! ehh, i don't like to stick to just one place.. :D tengkiuuuuuu!! :x tengkiu kat parents lily jugek! :))

ohh!! lily have sent the pix!! weeeeeeeeeeee~!!


reading the tarot!! (haven't master the cards yet.. huhuu! had the guide's help!)


see seeee!! the girl is driving the car!! and drogo was "happy" to be the passenger. :))


pandai btol makcik tu berlakon ekk?? hahahha!!


ain't she adorable?? :p rosie had an image make-over?? ekkeke!! she was wearing my tudung.. :p

had funnn!!!
thanks hobbitses! :)

going out tomorrow with lily to mvu; midvalley university for some errands.
sedang sakit tekak. :(
o heyy!! pembetulan.. me and lily went to cyber LODGE two days ago.. not cyber lounge.. ehee! :">

..yadaa~

A penny..

for your every thoughts..
won't you share them with me?
.. humm, left to ponder them by myself again.
mereng~

anyways.. i am honestly bored.
bored..
bored..
REALLY bored!!!

liking this song for the moment even though i think it has a funny tune..
Crush by Gavin Degraw

Well my past came in
You dropped the ball
It didn't change the way I feel
And I was wishin I'd break down your walls
A kiss will know if flips things still

There is a line I cross
There when you missed, a loss
I'm not a loser
Girl, you know that I'll be back again

My deal, I went for the steal
Maybe it was rushed
Oh, my crush
I gotta crush

I suppose that I could hold it in
But you excite my every cell
Sources say that senses are your friend
My senses say that I should tell

You that i'm not ashamed
you might just feel the same
but you have to try it
if you're ever really gonna know

my deal, i'll wait for the steal
maybe it was rushed
oh, my crush
I gotta crush

I want to
I need to
I have to
I need you so much
It's your touch
Girl you're too much and I can't control it
You got me all over the road

My deal
I'll wait for the steal
Maybe it was rough
Oh, my crush
Damage in my soul
You blew me up but I don't mind
I just can't get in time

So do you
Oh, my crush

[ 5:40 pm ]

humm.. pondering some things..

tadi sempat jumpe mama, papa, belba, belladonna and izzati!! (ought to find her hobbit's name later!) :D macam manje betul rase.. they were going to seremban.. and i asked them to stop by.. hehhe!! :D was pondering about where my loyalty and priorities lie.. and number one is certain, to the family. hehhe!! others in the list, i can't say.. it keeps changing. :D
decided not to tag along since i have plans with hobbitses dearest later tonight! :D

ohh! thanks shahnon!! kasi gak dia mp3. ekkekek!! :p

thinking about soooo many songs right now.. felt like posting them, but then again, i've already posted the lyrics of a song up there! huhuu~

[ 8:09 pm ]

ehh! harini maghrib cam budak yang bang! :D suare budak laa...

i'm resuming my hobby again.. merepek + wishing

[ 8:41 pm ]

sleepy sleepy!!
but getting ready to go out now, i suppose..
have a good evening, all!!
and.. those (us) in selangor,
Selamat menyambut Thaipusam!!
heehee!

@_+

i need to have mittens

i really do..
mittens.. gloves.. that pot holder would be fine, too! but mittens are cuter lahh! :D
anyways!! i'm a total hazard/hazzard (spelling?) to myself!! gatal - garu garu.. sampai melecet, pastu sendiri sakit! hahhaha!! lama lama kulit berlobang sebab asyik melecet. ekkeke. :p
i need to have mittens!!
semalam banyak nyamuuuuk!! kumbang pon ade.. :| bluerthhh!

finally saw the video clip shahnon gave me!! Blink 182 - I Miss You. Sangat menarik the video!! sangat artsy.. heehee~ kelakar seeing those three that way, pun. and i like the lyrics of the song.. tapi shahnon tak kasi mp3 diaaaa!! :( ape shahnon nieee!! X( ekkeke!!

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me
you're already the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me
you're already the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

(I miss you, miss you)

(yukira's blog pon ade lirik lagu ni jugek!)
tengkiu shahnon!!

anyways!! maya is going on okay.. ;) mine is ugly.. but it's okaay.. :)

now i'm thinking about me and my sisters.. sedang fikirkan our "gifts". i think i'm losing mine.. getting out of touch.. not really out of touch, but seems like i'm seeing less what i wanted to see. nampak orang lain :| *tuk* toloooong!! tak mahuuuu!!! boncit! :( takpe.. i don't want to believe what i see.. heehee~ tak aci btol.. but heck!! i know what i like.. and i don't like what i just saw.. :)

nak buat camera trail..
mandi pon blom nieee...
nak ponder on some things juge..

update!!
-----------

dah anta maya!!
hahahhaha!! bodo gile.. main anta je.. but heck!!
i'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
up for the "ritual", hobbitses??
:)) :x

[ 1:40 pm ]

hammock story

lily's great!!
silap.. lily's car is great!!
HAHHAHAHA!!

we spent an hour in cyber lounge acting like we're a guest there.. hehhe! sorry prisca!! it was totally out of the plan. we could've drove back to hostel after sending you to cyberia but entah cemane gatal kate, "jom amek angiiin~!" and so we went pusing pusing.. listened to lily's dream house.. on her dream location.. (wished we were rich!! hehhe) and then make a stop at cyber lounge.
mula mula nak tengok the award winning garden(?).. then we walked along the pool (ade mamat sedang mandi seihhh!! HAHHAHA!!) there was tattoo on his left shoulder.. and dia pakai spentot! AHHAHAH!! klakar btol.. remembering lily said, "aww.. he's not even good-looking" hahha!! kesian mamat tu..
and then, at that place got some hammock lahh!! so neattt!! me and lily talked and talked as we watched the sky turned dark. (macam sesuai buat ngan couple!! hahahhah!!!!) the place was neat!! and we got to see the first glimpse of the moon!! romantic seihhh~!! love lily! :x ekkeke!! we're SO right for each other!! :x

anyways!! malam ni eating dinner with just lily.. prisca will be out with drogo.. :)
sleepy.. but i still have much things to work on!!
haiyyo~!

update!!
-----------

just got back from our so-called dinner!! hahahha!!
i practically spent the whole day talking to lily!! bosan betul.. ekkeke!! of course not!! :x
first went to malee.. sekali bumped into prisca and drogo pula! got our seats, tak sampai 2 minutes, we got up and got into the car again! hahaha!! dua dua terasa nak berjalan jauh!
so we end up in 15 (lagi!!!) but concluded our dinner-adventure with a waffle each from A&W. hohohoho!!

lily's car is very dangerous!!
it kept calling us to get on it!!

ps: dah tak tensen pasal mayaa~!! tengkiu dar! wanie dah tak pening dahhh.. :x

[ finished on 1:19 am of February 4th ]

moOoOoOo~

calling all cows.
moooo~ moo~ moooooo~ moooo~ moooooooo~ moooo~ moooo~ moooooooooo~ moooo moooo~ mooooo~ mooo~ mooooo~ moooooo~ mooo moo~ moooooooo~ moo~ moooooo~ mooo~ moo~ moooooo~ mooooooo~~

i feel like such a cow!!
macam.. bodoh nak mamposs!!
frustrated tak terhingga!!!
marah
benci
sakit ati
semua pon ade!!!

i am so furious for something yang wanie tak dapat nak control.. i depend too much on people.. i am such a cow for that!!! when will i ever be independent?? sudah sudah la wanieeee!!!
urghhhh!! i am so agry angry at myself!!!!

maya lak..
nak buat tingkap pon cam tahi!!!
hopeless betul!
*mencarut mencarut*
i hate my life now.. benci!! benci!!!!!!!!!
*mencarut*

tolooooooonggg!! nape susah sangat nak buat maya nieeeeeee!! (dahlaa buat simple gile!!) tu pon susah!! urgghhhhh!! marahnyeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

badmood.badmood.moooo~

badmood.badmood

my "pretty okay" mood didn't last long after all..
in a such bad mood!!!!!!!!!!
stupid freaking a*hole maya!!
i feel like a real cow!!
sangat SANGAT lembu!!
vavi juga..
tapi lebih kepada lembu la sebab vavi cam terok sangat..
L E M B U !!!!
translation.. C O W !!!
i wish i am good at this.. but how can i be when i haven't got the slightest interest in it!!!!
URGHHHHH!!!! I HATE THIS!! I REALLY HATE THIS!!!
boncitnyeeeeeeee!!!!!!

don't know if i can finish it in time.. i just hate it too bad!
urghhhh!!!!
tak suka nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
tolong toloooong!!
(crying for help to myself.. trying to help myself in some way..)
tolooooooooooooonggggg!!!!!!!!!

cursing real bad..! honestly, i don't know how to handle this in a better way. i know cursing won't help me finish the freaking 3D but i just can't help it!
tak skeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

missing.. stupid.. and sleepy..
yeah, what a great combination.
tak ske nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
toloooooooooonggg!!!!

mooOooOoOoO~!!

so lazy

very very lazy!!
i am so lazy that i swear, if papa knew this, he'd nag soooo bad! adehaai! teringat time form three! ekkeke! (lazy laaazy days!!)

just spent some hours with lily and prisca. had a ride on lily's new car!! woo~hoo!! tak saba rase nak merayap!! hahahha!! (yeah, as if i have no assignments to worry about!) bluerghh~ dari tadi dok message message orang suh buatkan, but sorang pon tak sudi! hummph! don't call me as a friend any longer tau!! HAHAHA!! kidding.. ;)
we practically toured dengkil and putrajaya for a place to eat but they were all closed! hahha!! well, belba made me something so it doesn't bother me lah, but kesian lily and prisca 'coz they were hungry!! anyways! we end up in ss15 :D time lalu puchong, lily kate nak 15 lak. :D ended up being out for 2-3 hours for going around and waiting for food and yapping altogether.. hehhe!

i am freaking out to some things these days. macam.. things i look at, or things that i did unintentionally.. always lead to one thing. maybe 'cause i've been asking it, kot! been asking for some signs or somewhat 'coz i was in a such confused state. anyways! pelik pelik pon, i like the things i see!! hahha! :p

while going back home tadi, looked at the moon.. clouds were surrounding it.. and a distance away from the moon was a bright star..
first star i see tonight
can't help wishing to something.
entahlaa.. not that i believe that wishing upon a star could bring my dreams come true, but i just need to let it out in some way.. :) it doesn't hurt to wish, kan?
wishful and hopeful.. that's what i usually am anyways.. susah nak change on that.

ehh! i'm in a pretty okay mood now.
somehow terase tiade ape untuk dikejar.
things will come my way if it's meant to be, kan?
hiyapp~! i should listen to the words i keep saying to others, myself la! pandai cakap aje.. denga sendiri tak reti pula! hehhe!

like like love these songs these days.. :x
Gavin Degraw - Follow Through (like it.. love it!!)
Stacie Orrico - I Promise (like it sooooo!!!!)
Kelly Clarkson - The Trouble With Love Is

Love can be of many splendid things
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sail and fairy tails
It will make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It will fool you everytime

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesnt care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Now I was once a fool it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my worlds a deeper blue
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too
I'd swore I'd never love again
Swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Everytime I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin and I keep on falling
over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

should work on maya now..
dari aritu buat meja aje.. terok sungguh!!
jadi marilaaaahhh!!! buat kejee!! yosh~! :| (muka serius)

mengantuk tapinye niee... :))

grey sky morning..?

it's been two days, i wake up to vertical horizon's best i ever had.
i wonder..
my mp3s were playing all night.. but i kept waking up to the same song.
the weather's fine outside anyways.. :)
the sky is blue..
but grey clouds seems to be floating closer.
gosh, i love the sky whether it's day or night!!!!

will be added later~!
--------------------------

ehhh!! media history is not due until february 16th!!! that'll be the day for us to submit our second draft.. the real essay is due on march 1st!!!
adehh~ this means just one thing.
i HAVE to work on maya... :((
Ya Allah, i need Your help to keep me determined to complete this task!
yess, i really need His help.. :)

:((
o heck! i feel like tarot reading for a while.. ekkeke!!
kadang kadang i wonder what i'm doing.. sometimes i feel so out of touch. tak ske nyeee!
minat menda menda merepek!
heyyyyy!!!
minat menda menda merepek!!
tarot.. astrology.. orang merepek? HAHHAHAHA!!
b-( bongok la wanie nie!

ohh!!
happy belated birthday orlando bloom!!! :x
hehhe.. terlambat gile! january 13th!! bole lak terlupa..
and today's actually someone's birthday as well! so,
happy birthday justin timberlake!!
hahhaha!! i feel like a silly tween-aged girl for remembering celebrities' (spelling?) birthdates! :p

bored..
unconcious mutterings

1. Political:: bores so badly..
   
2. Concentration:: is so hard!
   
3. Fish:: steamed
   
4. Lunacy:: crazy?
   
5. Red:: heart
   
6. Imply:: ..my english is getting worse! i can't recall what's the meaning of this one!
   
7. Recognize:: a face
   
8. Sexist:: sexy rosie! hahahhaha!!
   
9. Commercial:: reward your curiosity.. hehh!
   
10. Stricken:: chicken (it just rhymes!)
    

dahlaa! merepek aje.. bosan betul!!
will be going back home today.. esok gi seremban laie, mama nak visit sana lak.

spread.
[ finished on 12:12pm ]

grumble.grumble

it's late.
and i don't know why, but it seems that i'll be in a rough mood when it gets dark outside.
calling.. calling..
hallo??

hummph.. merepek je ni.

just spent the whole day with the lovely hobbitses. terganggu sedikit dengan phone calls drogo and belladonna; asked for my IC number with the reason to sell me. merepek!
went to midvalley university (called it with that, considering the amount of time we've spent there!) and practically hung around. got there around 3:30, kuar pon kul 1:30 camtu.. waiting for the bus and taxi was excrutiating!! bosan betul! :( but anyways!! had lunch for 2 hours.. talking and yapping.. gossiping and mengumpat.. exchange infos and things.. rosie joined our pack; prisca, lily and myself, on something aboutthe future. funny.. tak pasal pasal rosie dah join!! but it's neat! hehhe! and then jalan jalan.. later end up in mph bookstore where we shared our money (sorang rm8.25) for a set of tarot cards!! hahha!! finally!! beli juga after so much of talking.. and then prisca and lily had their dinner (laksa!!) me and rosie weren't that hungry.. :D i wasn't as enthusiastic with LAKSA while rosie was waiting for jai to come by. :)
while they ate, i studied the tarot!! HAHAHHA!! :x predict predict.. missed charmed (darn!!) but at least i get to do some "crafts" of my own! hahahha!! jadi interpreter for the gurls.. :D kinda funny really.. prisca kept getting cards that relates her to self-belief.. i got cards for relationship, and lily with moneyy!! hahahha!!
oh!! congrats lily!!!!!!! she finally got the car!! weeeeee~!!
kamon my dear lesbo partner.. bawak i jalan jalan! HAHHAHAH!! :p (tau nak merayaaap aje! byebye duit~! hahhaha)
anyways!! then rosie met up with jai.. so me, lily and prisc went hanging at coffee bean, sampai 11:40! then terlari lari to the cinema 'coz we were catching runaway jury on 11:45! hahahha!! bole lak lost track of time.. (did more tarot reading there..) :))
runaway jury was neat! kire.. okay juge.. liked the shots! and the story was quite neat! but the part when the past unfolds, was quite fast.. had to listen and watch very carefully to that part. :D
then waited 'til almost three 'coz rosie and jai were catching last samurai. hehhe!
then went back mmu together.
prisca's staying in my room tonight.
sekian..
that's all for the report.. i'm bored

my reply :)

found a song that i totally love!!!
:D

Follow Through by Gavin Degraw

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I, haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet

So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
oh what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

going out with the hobbitses!!! :x dear lily, prisca and rosie.. you three are the coolest!!! semua pon tinggalkan maya ekk??
byebye maya~ byebye byebyeee!!
:| i really should take my work seriously one of these days or i'll be in great trouble!!
but takpe.. for now,
byebye maya~ byebye byebyeee!!
HAHHAHA!!
i'm crazy.. missing.. and still in a bit of mood..!
byebye~!

tears had been shed
for i am needing
needing
needing
needing
needing
needing
needing..
cam gersang lak! HAHHAHAHHA!!
not in a very good mood.

haven't started sehabuk pon maya assignment 'coz i'm a lazy cow. what's the point of hiding, better i just admit it; i am a skinny lazy cow! pelik kan? supposedly, lazy ones are fat 'coz they don't move around!
o well.. bad mood.
terase nak merebahkan diri.. but it'll hurt since there's no one to catch me.. and if i want to get hurt, i won't have to "want" to 'coz i get into accidents all the time.
clumsy sangat.. some people have said that.
tak sah sehari tak terhantuk at something.. bluerghh!!
right now.. at this moment.. i hate my life!
hopefully i'll be back to my normal mood by tomorrow morn.

the end

mari menyanyi, mehh~

heehee..
i tried to cut down most of the songs.. but i just can't!!!
aktiviti ini telah dicilok from shahnon's blog.
(was bored.. and this is quite a good activity to kill some time! :D)

start 6:17pm

Song that makes you happy:
standfast - morning charm
(can't think of anything else, sbb i'm happy whenever i hear all my fave songs!)

Song that makes you sad:
american hi-fi - another perfect day
vertical horizon - best i ever had
radiohead - creep
save ferris - let me in
saliva - rest in pieces
3 doors down - here without you
forty foot echo - save me
westlife - if your heart's not in it
(pendek kata.. most songs yang tak mencerminkan sebarang hope. heehee~)

Song that makes you feel dreamy:
foo fighters - walking after you
the corrs - all the love in the world
vanessa carlton - a thousand miles
lifehouse - everything
(the list should be long.. but banyak sangat pon, sape larat bace? heehee~)

Song that makes you sleepy:
most of norah jones and alicia keys
(sorry prisc, i know you love them..)

Song that makes you want to dance:
nivea - don't mess with my man
atomic kittens - the tide is high

Song that makes you want to close your ears:
the used - choke me

Song that makes you think of that special someone:
stacie orrico - i promise
leigh nash - need to be next to you
lifehouse - hanging by a moment
(eh chupp!! sejak bile lak wanie ade 'special someone'?? hahhaha!!!)

Song that makes you feel relaxed:
john mayer - back to you
lifehouse - breathing
sheila on 7 - tunjuk satu bintang

Song that makes you feel inspired:
stacie orrico - more to life
evanescence - imaginary

Song that makes you want to sing along:
weezer - i just threw out the love of my dreams
cokelat - teman saja
a*teens - halfway around the world

end 6:47 pm

slit me open..

hurting myself over and over again..
might as well i just commit suicide!!
grrRrrRr!!
(mad at myself..!) sebab lembu sangat!!
always get my heart in the way.. manipulating my mind.. and i know this all along, yet i do nothing about it.. i don't know how to stop! help me stoppp!!!!!!
devotion in the face of uncertainty... always and always..

adeeii.. awak, tolong...
I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

o yeah, i'm already in cyberjaya.. supposedly doing my animation assignment. apparently my friends are here!! prisca and lily!! :x i wasn't all alone after all.. (as i thought) tadi prisca gave me a silly picture.. she said it represents us three 'coz of the hair.. bengong!

kelakar sungguh!!! merepekk!
my hair is not as frizzy as thaaat!! :p perasan perasan.. prisca perasan jessica biel.. ekkekeke!!

**unfinished!
-----------------

aaaaAaaAaAaAA!!!!!!!
seriously screaming..
the reason... well, i'm just terribly in like of so many things! :x ekkeke!
nvm.. i'll post what i'm crazy about later.. :p

syafiq.. mane syafiiiiq??
heehee~ silly friends i got.
going to tell my holiday, now..
spent wednesday to friday at home.. went to seremban on saturday, stayed 'til tuesday.. got back on wednesday and gone back here on thursday! sedih btol tinggalkan belba and izzati on wednesday.. and now i left papa at home alone. though the house is small, i think it's quite huge for an old guy. not saying that my dad is old.. OLD.. but i dont know what does through his mind, y'know.. i wonder if he knew how much i care for him while i'm away. i think a lot when all his girls are not home.. like right now. while bella and belladonna's at seremban.. and i'm at school.. wondering if he wonders that he's being tested. i mean.. umm.. cemane aa nak explain?
hummph.. belba and myself tak kawen laie.. and we've left him alone. nanti karang bila kitorang dah kawen? kene tinggal lagi! hummph.. i know, i think too much.. tapi entahlaa.. at some points i just wish i'm at home, talking crap to papa just so he won't feel alone. and he likes to joke around about the old folks' home.. how i HATE those jokes!! not funny at all!! papa, you're NOT FUNNY!!!
bluerghh!
okaay.. priorities going crazy again. focus! i need to FOCUS!! papa said he was fine being alone.. (mama's working in some hotel for the week.. boss dia ade meeting ape ntah!) but i know he's not!! macam semalam, when i got back home.. he said he was in no mood to eat nasik.. takde mood nak makan kat kedai.. but i know he's wants nasik!! at that time i was asking myself "kenapeee laa useless sangat wanie nie!!" kan bagus if i can cook.. so i can whip him something up.. sedihnyee laa jadi anak dara tak guna macam nihh.. hummph! *tukk*
meninggalkan atau ditinggalkan.. leaving or being left.. i pick being left!! leaving keeps me restless!! if you're comfortable with something, why would you leave, kan? hummph.. i really hate leaving.. biarlah ditinggalkan. takde lah nak risau pape.. my head pon tak serabut macam ni!!!
fikir pasal menda lain!! mama pon balek esok la wanie oiiii!! risau lebih aje.. hummphhh!!

anyways!! time cuti syafiq actually came by with azraai!!! they were at my house.. called me up to come down.. but i was in SEREMBAN!!! sedihnyeee!!! sedih sangat at that time. rase nak menjerit.. geram sangat!! why did they have to come in surprise??? kalau tak dah leh jumpe syafiq and rai!! huwaaaaaaaaaa!!! :(( sedihnye ingat balekk.. korang teroooooookkkk!! been a while since i last saw syafiq. rai dah jumpe cuti aritu.. tak kesah! HAHHAHA!! :p
**syafiq was a minor crush of mine while we're at school. ekkeke! entah nape ntah suka kat dia pon wanie tak tahu! HAHAHHA!! rai knew about that too.. anyways! both were quite my buddies at school.. and dua dua itulah yang kantoikan pasal arep. HAHHAHA!! history kanak kanak..
for those who knew the basics of my school-history would knew what i'm really talking about.. yang tak tahu tuu, takpelah! just consider i'm yapping uncontrollably again. heehee!

okay! itulah kisah cuti wanie kali ini.. jumpe laie di masa cuti lain kali!
mereng sikit~

[ finished on 4:07pm ]

words of hollow..

words of hollow,
floats to tell my sorrow..
into a large void in the sky.
i wish i knew what you meant,
with the words that you've spoke,
and the lines that you wrote..
are you trying to tell me something?
for i cannot see what you've shown me,
and i am still blind..
when it comes to you..
every time it comes to you...

heyy people!!
i guess plenty have been going on in the holidays.
right now i'm at my belladonna's office in pwtc.. membuang masa until lunchtime, when i'll get back home.
been spending my days in seremban to hel help belba took care of izzati since last saturday. it was okay, considering the horrible weather. (too hot for me!!)
missing the hobbits.. and maybe some others as well. but i shouldn't talk about that. my head is just too cramped with thoughts right now. just realized something on something and it made me wonder real bad, wether whether i should smike smile about it.. or just frown a lil bit more.. adehh~ peninnnng!!!
but things are pretty okay, really..!
might be going back cyberjaya tomorrow to get a start on animation and essay. looking forward to the essay, don't know why! wish i am feeling the same for the animation!!

sape leh buatkan animation untuk wanieeeeeeee???
nanti wanie buatkan essay!!!
lehh??
sape volunteer?????

ekkekeke!!
i wish i have a real buddy that can i can exchange assignments with! like i did with ana in the first trimester. ekkeke!! kantoi di situ! :p
o well.. that's all for now. maybe later when i'm feeling like it, i'll write more.

ps: urrghhh! help me understand!! tiba tiba terasa bodo bahasa inggeris.. adeiiii~

sekian!!