whoaaaa

hey everyone,
this is me writing from a phonebooth in piccadily circus, london. way cool. anyway, just wanted to test this out actually. hope you guys are doing well.

cheers.

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Pack my bags again...

Will be back next Wednesday..

Oh, Rumi..

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you,
not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

An older post.
I have such a good sense of taste in this area, no? (There's a copy of Rilke's book on Goong too!)

Ah well, though the song may not be in the same category as the poem, I just can't help remembering this song when I think of the poem.

Ooh anyway! The 3rd season of CSI: NY starts this April 2nd on AXN! whoopee! I'm definitely excited even though I might not be around to catch it. Oo yeah!
The glamorous life of a jet-setter.. (HAHH! I wish..)

ps: I just realized that the layout for my archives are pretty screwed up. So please, for your own good (and mine too) don't bother checking them out. I don't know what ticked me off the most. The fact that I can't read them from the texts overlapping one another, or the fact that I've been so ignorant to realize this earlier on. sheesh!

OH-MY-GOD! OMG! OMG! eeek! Just found this! Yeayy! Can't waaiit!!
edited on 11:38 PM, March 27th 2007.

Mukhsin...

*sigh*

Finally got to see it.
May I just say.. that when I got myself a good deserving boyfriend, I'd like to keep him safe and if he ever gets jealous of my guy friends.. I promise that I'd just whack him in the head instead of giving him the silent treatment.
huhuuu..

It was bittersweet. I sort of understood why it won that award in the Berlin International Film Festival. I think the storyline was pretty simple, but it had left me in a very deep thought.

Also.. I'd like to say.. that even though I realize that I'm 22.. I actually find that Mohd. Shafie Naswip kid (he's 14) was kinda hot! hahhahahahahaha!
I feel like a pervert now.
Anyway, I thought he was brilliant at that part when he called Orked out in the end. That kid was amazing!
Mukhsin was very well worth it..

Okay. That's all for tonight. I'm knackered from being out all day long. I was in Bukit Kapar, then SACC Mall, then IKEA/Ikano, dinner at Ang More Cafe (with Dida, the parents, Cik Yam, Hannah and Sarah, Cik Mi and the newly added Cik Ros).. and lastly, GSC Midvalley.
Now I'm home.. I just want to have a lie down.

edited on 12:52 PM, March 26th 2007.

(no idea)

Dida called earlier for me and Papa to get ready. We were heading to KL to pick up Mama and Nina from work so we could all send Nina back to Seremban.
(Abang Min didn't approve so much of that -- that dude is weird on some level.. but that's a different story!) It was really nice to talk to the entire family. We don't get much of that, having the kids running around a lot most of the time.

Laughed a lot during (late) dinner. Abang Min and the kids have already fallen asleep upstairs, so there we were around Nina's dining table, wolfing down the food we'd bought just minutes before. Dida naturally found something to joke about Mama.

Mama being Mama.. dotty and all, lagged a bit when the four of us were already laughing, and so;
Dida: Mama has short term memory loss..
Mama: Who said that?

kikkiki! Pardon yourself if you don't find that funny. Mama is always funniest when she didn't mean to. We were laughing so hard and I just might need to remember this one sometime.

My mind has been a little weird lately. It doesn't matter who's talking, but every conversation I listen to sounded like Korean! I guess I shouldn't have watched all 24 episodes of Goong in 2 days. Even my dreams are all messed up now...

The thing about K-Drama..

They have this really twisted storyline - heartaches after heartaches.. (ohh, how talented those actors, to cry right on cue!) that are stretched out soooo long - that it makes me sooo tired - then making me feel to never actually fall in love.
That tiring.
It gets me so anxious in the beginning but once I get to the middle, I feel like I should hide in a hole than knowing what's going to happen next, to the 'path' of the end. sigh. The middle part of most dramas I've seen had always made me feel like screaming.

Hey, that's just me... I still watch those Korean dramas though. haha!
Talk about not knowing what's good for you.
Hmm.. Never been keen on Koreans before, but now I'm having thoughts of; "Kalau dapat mamat Korea pon best jugak!" hahahaha! -- Sorry, English-speaking-only readers, it's a bit embarassing.. that thought. *stares feet*
Fact: Koreans are on average the tallest among Asians.

Anyway.. have you ever noticed?
In English, people would say.. "Just a second," or "wait a minute".
In Malay, we say.. "Lagi 5 minit eh." ("5 more minutes!") hahhahahaha! We Malays.....

Trying to remember that interesting line Cik Alia said to me yesterday. God, what exactly was it..?

heeheeheeee.

Cik Alia and I had a little barter today. (Temporary it may be..)

She lend me her copy of Goong and I lend her two of my Cecelia Ahern's books.

I can't stop grinning now.

Just for notes, I will refrain myself from complaining about getting fat in the future.

I am weak.

It's raining out. The clock says it's a quarter to 2. I just finished the last few pieces of those tinned rambutan in syrup 'cause that's what I found in the fridge. I just felt the need to chew something while actively pondering, "no bread for a week?"

In case you haven't heard, I am trying to lose some meat. Not too sure about the pounds since the scale says I'm at the right BMI, but most of the people around me have been saying that I'm getting wider.. or thicker.. and it's really really bugging me.

It's one thing when you are fat and people say that you are.
It's another when people look at you and say, "oh, you're not as thin as I thought you were.." That's just depressing on a whole new level.
And I got a new line just a few days ago.. "your cheeks look fat.."

I'm not going to cry over those 'cause that's just.. pathetically VAIN. But really.. it doesn't make me want to jump with joy either.
Is it necessary for you to be that mean? Seriously? What ever happened to treat people like the way you want to be treated? Because really, I've never treated anyone like that.

I honestly have NO idea why everyone keeps a tag on everybody else's body. Seriously.. is that everyone ever cared about??
"Oh, I saw her the other day.. She gained some weight from the last time we saw her.."
Doesn't that sound just ridiculous? Is it true that human being are really this shallow?? That is just sad. Truly.

Thank God I actually know the downsides of aneroxia and bulimia. No way I'm heading towards that anytime soon. I'm just.. mostly upset that I've been hearing enough people talking about my body to start cutting down eating bread.
Malaysian's staple food is rice, but I'm never too keen on rice. So really.. taking away bread is taking away my staple food. sigh.

Now you know why I prefer strangers than friends. I'm stupid enough to listen to what they think. Not just that they've already told me enough secrets for me to have a system overload! But me, being a secret keeper is another story.
For now, just for notes.. I did a few sit-ups just now and I think I pulled a muscle on my back.

I hate it when I conciously know that an act of rebellion right about now won't do me any good.

Anyway.. on a different note (just as upsetting). Since it's been raining this past couple of days, you drivers.. Please drive carefully. I took this picture on Monday on my way back from KL. Even a BMW couldn't stop you from spinning on a wet road. Okay?

ahahhahahahhaha!!!

God, I need to get over myself.
ahahhahahaha!!
I can't believe I am still the spaz when around someone I like. This is very idiotic. ahahhahaha! Dida thought I was scared -- I wish! Better being scared than "too-self-concious-about-making-a-fool-of-myself-and-end-up-making-a-fool-of-myself-anyway"!! ahahahhahahah!! Crap!

Anyway, may I just say.. even though the idea of having a good friend in the fashion industry sounds like the best thing ever.. for me, that is scary.
I like my crazy colour-uncoordinated things, thanks very much!

Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
I'm rambling.
Excellent.

I have hot cousins.

I swear.. if they weren't family, I'd happily have a crush on them.

First of three Cik Mi's wedding ceremony was last night. It was held in De Palma Hotel, Ampang. (The lady's side.) The second will be in Penang at the end of this month and finally.. the last one for our side of the family in Bukit Kapar in April! woot! Looking forward to that, actually. (Surprising.. considering I never really liked weddings.)

I need to stop myself from stuffing my face with pancakes. Oh no. Curse the new layout. Makes me wanna blog even more!

This part of my life is called..

I know I wrote "unstable" on my Yahoo! Messenger, but honestly.. I don't know what this part is really called. It's a hundred of jumbled words and none of them meant good.

Just saw The Pursuit Of Happyness. Will Smith really deserved the nomination for an Oscar. He did such a wonderful job. The story about Chris Gardner was.. amazing. Inspirational.
If you haven't seen this film. You probably should. It's a brilliant movie (a tad slow though) even though it depresses you at times. Frustrating too. But I just can't help being touched by his sheer determination to-- of course, be happy.

Made me feel very useless, unfortunately.
Thinking that the only thing I'm determined for right now is getting a full download of CSI: NY episodes since the one I got the other day was in French! How frustrating it was to have waited for 5 whole days and getting them in French. How measly.. and small I am, while somewhere out there.. someone is truly and absolutely working his/her ass off to pursue their goal.

And I felt embarassed when I watched In Her Shoes last weekend. God, I can't let my sisters be Rose. Nor do I want to be Maggie.
I must not settle for this.
This will not do.

So this is a pretty real entry than the ones I've posted since the last few weeks. I promised myself that I was taking a break from blogging so I could work on my very first manuscript.. but I lied.
I haven't written a new paragraph for two months. Two months of spiraling downwards.. sinking to the floor. Probably the main reason why I've been a pretty lousy being; testy and all. Being incompetent depresses me. The incapability of writing -- depresses me.

So now I should go and protect my dream.
Burn the midnight oil or what ever.
'Til the next entry...

Soo...

What's new with me?

Sunkissed trampoline.

March 12th it is..
Happy birthday Ratman. Hope I get to meet you one day.


Also.. a happy belated birthday to Bahijah (on the 8th!) and Incik Pae! (the day after!)
Hope you guys had a great time.. and an awesome year ahead!

Ohh! And the 16th is Red Nose Day!!
Can't believe two years have passed...

Just this one,

I promise!



Please go out and see the movie Music and Lyrics.
Please go and make Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore richer than they already are -- they deserve it.
Please watch it and listen carefully to every word conversed.. and sung in the film. They - are - BRILLIANT!!

It was SUCH an awesome movie. Finally got to persuade Dida to see it and she was just as happy that she did! (Yeayy!! Made me so proud!) The movie was an hour and a half, but it took us about another hour to get home because we felt like cruising and so Dida drove the car at an average of 60km/h. (Slowest ever, by the way!)

ps: Alia, if by any chance you get to read this at Nur's place.. hope you're enjoying your time there!! Lupekan pin untuk Pae.. Just remember mine! ahhahaha!! Walaupun his birthday is coming up! ahahha! Lupekan saja!
pps: That promise at the beginning was of course, to myself. Now I should go and be somebody useful for a change.

Sungguh kurang sopan..

I've been tagged by Cik Alia apparently, so here..
RULES: People who are tagged should write a blog post of 6 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1. Ants makes me itch. I'm not sure if it's a physical thing or more of a psychological thing because they don't even have to bite me to make me itch.. just looking at them gave me the strong urge to scratch my arms or legs. Ants-- are horrifyingly annoying like that.

2. I beat myself up when I forget about a TV show that I really wanted to watch. Really. Sometimes I feel like my heart dropped a few inches inside the rib cage. There were times when I actually cried for not being in front of the telly.. even though I was actually having a good time outdoors!

3. I cannot say how much I want a pair of Christian Louboutin's shoes! I must've pictured myself in one at least once a day! I don't know.. it is an odd sort of a goal I think. Something I need to achieve someday. Is it weird? I don't know. Maybe it isn't so weird for a female - wanting shoes.

4. I second-guesses people under the Scorpio sign. I know, that's almost racism but it's really not! I always have this feeling when I came in contact with a Scorpio. I don't hate them.. nor dislike them. My mom's a Scorpio! (and though we rarely see things eye to eye but 'dislike' and 'hate' is too much of a strong word.) I've had a good friend who was a Scorpio and she was nice.
But I don't know.. I just.. have this heaviness that if there is anyone that could murder me in my sleep, it'd be a Scorpio.

5. Ohh, everytime I meet a new person, I'd ask their zodiac sign. It usually came up first before their names. I also remember my friends by it. Date of birth - not so much, but I try.
My close friends knew me too well by now that everytime they told me about their other friends, and I asked "what is he/she?", they'd respond by the zodiac sign. (Instead of something else that actually mattered, like their job for instance.)

6. I have a hard time focusing on people's eyes when they talk. It's not that I choose to look at a different part of their body -- it's just hard. I always feel like there's a higher level of seriousness when I look into their eyes and it makes me slightly uncomfortable. I usually look at their lips. I don't mean to be somewhat-sexual in any way, but I find it amusing to watch their teeth. Plus, sometimes I need the visual aid since my ears are a little stubborn, they just refuse to focus on the other person's voice sometimes.

6 persons whom I will tag.. you know, it's times like this when I wish I had more friends! haha.
Bahijah, Ana, Aisyah, Hanis.. and Dar too since he's also my friend (not just Alia's! hahhaha!) Ohh! And Ablen so he'd have something to write on his blog.. maybe.. someday!

Anyway, just for notes.. I had spent the afternoon with Alia. We just hung out and had lunch (a late one) in Secret Recipe, SACC Mall.. and completely blew our purses! It's scary how much we spend when we're around each other! hahhahaha!
Good times, though.

OMG! It's almost March!!!

Back in Shah Alam.

OH MY GOD!!!
I cried.. and cried. I just couldn't take it, pretending I was all macho and truly convince myself it was just a show.. last week's of Grey's Anatomy was friggin' intense!! God! It was unbelievable! It was.. painfully sad and I'm still tearing up right now. Can't wait to find out what'll happen this week.. I just.. can't get around Derek's and Christina's grief.

Hey everyone. I am now home, and so is my sister - for good. Or at least for the time being.

So you know when you feel like you're dreaming.. (I think I'm going famous with this "dreams"-metaphor stuff) It was 7 am yesterday.. (I think it was yesterday!) Anton was driving me and my sister through the streets of Holland towards Schiphol Airport when I just thought.. How did I get here?
Surely, I was in an airplane two weeks before but just.. how? Sometimes I feel like asking complete strangers, "Why me exactly?"

Like in dreams, everyone knew what they are going to do next - except you. You are the only person who decides what you're going to do. So maybe if there is any chance you could interact with everyone else, they could tell you what you're supposed to do. Maybe we could ask them life mysteries and actually get the answers, yeah?

Anyway, I was never good at interpreting dreams. I just note them down and wait it out until one day things just somehow clicked and those sleepy memories had somehow seemed like an epiphany in a foreign language of sorts.
So I say.. I will have no choice but to wait it out just like always. I'll just see what happens next, and I will keep you posted.

Oh by the way, just so you know I wasn't trying to sound ungrateful. This is my way of saying how grateful I am for my luck and that I am still disbelieving the ludicrousity of my life slacking.

I had a considerably nice flight. Food was terrible, for the first time I agreed with the cliche about airplane meals but I had a really nice seat mate so that makes up for everything in my book! His name was Greg, American, forty-nine (I swear I am not the "old man attractor" like Dida likes to say!) a Leo and spends 27 hours every two weeks on a plane from The States, transit in Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur and again to Ho Chi Minh city. I was over-friendly I think! I now even know that his wife is a Virgo! haha!

I saw Alia a few hours after I got home. We got lunch and on the way back we made a quick stop at Alam Sentral since Alia had wanted to send her shoes to be repaired. I stayed at the car... and fell asleep!! hahahahha! Alia had to shake the car to wake me up and let her in. (Sorry - again Cik Alia!!)

Okay, I have to go. Need to catch up on all of my favourite shows!
(Fine, sleep too..)

Back in Rotterdam.

Goede avond! (10:25 PM here!)

We're back from Frankfurt and Berlin.. and what have I learnt?
I believe that I am at the age of finding a good sugar-daddy since I keep attracting old men all over Europe!
One asked for my email address at the subway when all the while he had been talking to my sister! Seriously.

I like Berlin. We like Berlin.
Now I should probably start packing. We're flying back to Malaysia this Wednesday and good byeee Europe 'til God knows when..

Aaaaaa!!!

I know it's just horrible (in a way) of me to say this but I am GLAD that I'll be coming home this Wednesday. I NEED my TV fix!!
Need.. need... need.. NEED!!
Especially now that I've read their reviews!! Aaaaaahhh!!! I want to watch House, Heroes, One Tree Hill.. The Office! And Grey's Anatomy especially!! Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
Why did Dida only get dial-up! If only she got dsl.. or what ever it is called. Aaaahh!! I just can't stop screaming and whining! I WANT MY SHOWS!!

On a different note, we are heading to Frankfurt today. Berlin tomorrow.
But I still want my shows. heh!

The search is over!

I found the dress! I found the dress I've been looking for the past two days! Cheers!! Dida was right about them keeping some clothes off the rack.
I went to Dordrecht earlier and didn't find the dress there. Tired (mentally), I went back to Rotterdam to do my "chores". (Y'know.. going to the market/supermarket getting groceries.)

I had just came out from C&A returning the earrings I bought yesterday since one of its stones had gone missing and went into H&M, with heaviness in my heart; preparing for yet another disappointment.. calculating how many H&M stores that I might have to look through when we get to Berlin.

I walked towards the part of the store where I saw size-42 yesterday and to my surprise, there were a couple of sleeves on the rack! The first one I saw was size 38 so frantically I flipped the hangers one by one.
38 - 42 - 40 - 42 - 36!!!!!
The last one!! *manic laugh* I grabbed it.. went to the paskamer (fitting room) just to make sure.. spent more time than I should in there satisfying my vanity.. and happily almost-skipped towards the cashier! heehee.
I have now lost any reason to shop for myself. (Except maybe.. for the perfect little shoes? ahhahahahaha!! Naah.) I am happily content.

Afterwards I had went to the market to find some coccles. On my way back, I saw this one old man dancing horribly to the song that was playing at the record stall. It was really horrendous; American Idol-worthy. But he was perfectly happy doing what he likes. Not a care in the world. Makes me think, I want to be like him when I'm old..
Tua ganyut tak sedar diri. ahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!