Insatiable.

eh. One day off and then Bangkok and Sibu nightstop.
Not really looking forward to those. Especially now when I'm really sleepy and tomorrow's pick up is at 6am.
(But I enjoy my job, honestly.)

DD's away on a nightstop.. so I'm here in Shah Alam with my family.
Not before I got harassed and groped while on the train, unfortunately.

I was from Midvalley to Central and this.. pervert (which was short that I thought he was a BOY!) pressed his member on my bum. Well, the train was packed and I took not much notice about it (except that his penis was small.. I mean, really.. while he was pressing himself against me, THAT was what I was thinking) and decided to ignore it.
But when the train arrived at Central, and as I walked out, he reached out his hand and grabbed my left BREAST. Okayy! Serious harassment here and I was so shocked that my only response was several elbowing on his chest.. but seriously.. I walked out of the train shaking. Not with shock, not with fear.. but with RAGE.
I shall have nightmares about this -- of how I should've dragged the collar of his neck outside the train and smash his face to the wall and kick his pathetic penis. I should've maimed him. Damn my slow brain.

Damn that bloody pervert. Short.. and short. HAHAHAHHAH!
See.. I told you I laugh at inappropriate things. hahahhaha!
And people tell me to be careful with my passengers once I start working. hahahahhaha!

Anyway, the lesson for the day is that I need to learn to not get shocked so I can smash people's face and private parts when the time calls for it.
hahhahaha!

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Hello!

Have a good Ramadhan to those who celebrates it!

I shall try to not skip any days despite of having to work.
Key word here; TRY.
hehe.


Take care, boys and girls!

ps: My roster for next month is mental!! You shall find me curled up in a ball, crying myself to sleep at the end of September for having to work 5 days straight.

Okay.

So let me tell you about Monday.
I woke up early to send DD off downstairs, then when I went back up Mimi was already awake so we hung out.. had a few smokes.. yap about work and guessing if we'd get called-up during our standby. Then Botak came out of his room and hung out with us..
Then Mimi went to her room to get ready so she could go back to her parents', Botak went back into his room to finish a novel.. I decided to write a rather psychotic letter.. and basically that's how I spent the morning that day.
Until about 3 when I decided that I should take a nap.

While I was sleeping, I dreamt that I was in the terminal.. looking for my aircraft to Penang. Knowing that I have work to do.
I got tired of looking around and thinking Penang.. Penang.. Penang.. so I woke up, the time was 5:30 pm.. decided that I should take a shower since DD should be on the way home. Done with shower in 20 minutes.. put my lazy-clothes on.. combed my hair.. fussed over the clothes that was in a mess on the floor..
And my phone rang.

Caller ID: Duty Exec NB.
ha!
The dude tells me that I have a layover in Penang.
See.. I'm telling you.. my dreams have impeccable instincts. (What does that tell you? When I need to be asleep to be RIGHT. hahahaha!)

I actually love split duties. The load isn't very full.. I get to sleep in a BED.. steal hotel's stationery and laundry bags. (I have no crazy over toiletries..) I guess since I'm still new, I haven't been to any same hotels so everything is still exciting! (Even though they are all starting to look just the same.)

In other news, I've been getting random followers on Twitter. I don't mind them so much.. until they ask me silly questions. Like this one guy who asked me where in Shah Alam do I live in.. then when I answered, he asked me where that is.
Really.. if you don't really know Shah Alam.. or ANY place for that matter, it's kinda lame to be asking for specifics.
(The right way to respond is to say or ask, "is it near... yada yada?" Even if you get it wrong, it would make you seem like you know a bit of the place instead of just asking some question, trying to make some lame conversation -- which I HATE.)

hmm.. I've been hoping to see next month's roster but turns out it isn't published yet. ughh.
And six more days 'til pay day. Double ughhh!
Going to BKI on Friday and will be spending the first Ramadhan on the plane. I hope I'll be able to fast this whole Ramadhan without being tempted too badly. hahahha!

Anyway, I should go get my shower now. Going out with my dad to pick up the kiddies and meeting up the rest of the family at Tony Roma's!
yayy! Good fooood!!
I need it.

Oh! Jakarta was fine btw. I had a good Leading which had made me pretty calm during the whole trip/flight. Nothing much to tell though.

2 off days.

Home in Shah Alam after one whole week away.
I missed the internet.. Needed to do the mountain of laundry.. Missed talking to my sister and hanging out with my dad. (Just saw my mom on Friday.)

I'm really pooped after my split duty in Penang. 3 days on stand-by and I got called-up on the last day. Then when I was there I couldn't fall asleep so yeah.. I'm so pooped that I was told that I snored while I napped earlier.
So not cute.

Nothing much to tell.
I think I'm just too tired to even think of what to write.. so I'll get back to this when I get my brain back.

SD in SIN

Hotel room is fine.
And there's a crew lounge here.. so waheyy!
IN - TER - NET!!
hahahhaha! And here being Singapore.. the connection is NOTHING like the lounge in Miri! hahhahaha!

Nothing much to do, honestly. Nothing's good on telly. I missed the Charity Shield but thank you Encem for letting me know the results.
So here I am.. wishing that there were something else that I could surf around (but there isn't anything that I want to look up!) other than Facebook and.. well, typing this out.

I had a horrible flight the other day.
Like really.. horrible.
One where I almost cried.
I don't really want to talk about it since I've been bragging how "once you get off the aircraft, you'll forget about everything!"
So if I actually write about the whole incident, it'll defeat the whole "forget about everything" thing.
So I'm trying to forget about it. (yes, this one requires some effort to forget.)
I just need to note here that sometimes.. Just sometimes.. it sucks to work with people who don't know you.

Oh! Now I remember that I drew water for the bathtub.
Guess I have something to do after all..
Wish I had something wise to share with you, but I have none. I'm supposed to "wake up" in about 2 hours. bleh.
I'm looking forward to going back home in the morning. Then I get the rest of the day to relax, and the next day off! whee!

And then.. JA-KAR-TA!
Hope it'll be a good trip.
'Til next time, boys and girls.. take care!

He calls me Bunny.

And he brought me Honey.
And it's just funny.
Since all these rhymes with Wanie!

heehee.
I'm in a giddy mood tonight.
As I've mentioned in the last entry, I have FIVE freakin' off days on the first week of August. So I'm back in Shah Alam. Spending my last day and a half of those 5 days. Then I'll be working for 3 days straight (one of it is a split duty -- which is hardly "work", honestly) then an off day and followed by a night stop in Jakarta.
God, I ADORE my job!!!
(Mostly because I haven't got anything to bitch about, really. hahahha!)

Nothing much to tell. I should head to bed and get some more rest while I can get it. So.. goodnight, world!

Oh! 18 days and counting.. hahahaha!

Busy busy bee.

Or so I'd like to think.
I have 5 days OFF on the first week of August, honestly.
As you can witness here, I am blogging, which should tell you that I am home in Shah Alam. hahahha!
Wasn't planning on going home actually but I've been having a cough and a fever that seems to go on and off to its liking. So, surprisingly, I volunteered myself to the clinic despite the fact that I HATE going to the clinic.
I know.. I've changed. hahahahha!
Anyway, just to let you know.. my medical book has lost its virginity, my friends.

The doc gave me a cough medicine that I should take once during the night. I'm assuming that the med would make me sleepy. I got the same prescription for the flu med so.. I'm wondering if I should take them at all tonight considering my pick up is at 5am tomorrow and yes, I didn't ask for a medical leave. (The doc actually offered me and I said "no". hahahha!!)

Honestly, what I need right now is a good long rest and an off day that is no more than one day 'cause anything past that would make me super-rusty at my work. Really, I noticed the other day that once I come home, I really forget about all the shit that happened (I'm just that gifted, I tell you) on board so I am bound to make the same mistakes all over again! hahahahhaha!
It's horrible, I know.
I blame all the times I've bumped my head on the wall.. cupboard.. car top..

Life is good basically.
Only a minor 'situation' where it's only the 4th and I'm dead broke. Alif and I have started counting down the days 'til pay day (21 days!) and really, it's making me miserable. I still have 3 night stops coming up and I have no idea how am I going to pay for my food. Crazy.
I really should take my budgeting seriously next time. hahahha! Like when I say that I've set aside RM100 for every week, I shouldn't have hung out in Coffee Bean, Tony Roma's AND Chilli's in the same week!! WAHAHHAHAH!!

Okay. I'm finally done with my lunch (took me more than an hour!) so I should take the meds for my fever and have a lie down.
'Til next time, take care everyone!

No excuses.

I wish everyone would just stop making excuses for me already.
They should all just smack me for what I've done.
Not comfort me and make me feel better for doing something bad!
Crazy.. crazy people. And I thought I was crazy, but turns out everyone else is even crazier than I am! Which is driving me MAD!
I should feel lousy and lonely and hated..

Ah well.. at least Boyfie Syl has finally treated me the way I'd preferred him to.. being all snappy and testy (or at least that's the way he sounded to me) instead of being all pleasant and completely convinced that he's not angry with me.
Somehow I find myself wishing that we live closer now so he could slam the door in my face.

hahahahhaha!
Oh, perhaps I should remind you that I'm the kind of person who finds humour in death.

Anyway, I feel lousy now as I deserve. yayy!!
Time for a smoke now.

Am I ready?

Hardly.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!
This time, I must honestly say that I am laughing to keep myself from crying. I've never felt so.. horrible in my life. I suppose I can't keep being selfish. I must choose my words wisely from now on.

I have no idea how things turned out the way it did.
We had communication.
We had love.
I guess it came down to distance.. and the fact that I am not strong enough to hold on to "us". It's not a good feeling to be the weak link.
To be the cheater.
And what's worse.. I wasn't surprised that I did what I did. What sort of a person am I???

A horrible one, of course.
Suppose I should just let Awif's words sink in.. if things are meant to be, it's meant to be. So I'll just go with the flow from now on.
If I should spend my old days alone, then it'd be my karma and I shall accept it.
I don't think I deserve to be with anyone anyway.

So! Other than my mental health being at stake here, I must say that everything else is going great! I am nowhere close to being good at my job yet but at least I am enjoying the people I am working with!
Plus the fact that we don't take our jobs home. Once we get off the aircraft, we'll leave everything behind, have a good long sleep and be excited to serve people again on the next flight!

Oh, dude.. perhaps I am too cynical to be working in this line but you wouldn't know that if you're not reading this blog. heh.
I am not bored of this job yet and that is the main reason why I joined in the first place. Not much life going on though.. all I do on my days off is sleep, sleep and more sleep.

And flying is giving me my allergies back. My leg is UGLY from the rashes! But please don't try to spot it when you see me in my uniform. Look at my heavily made-up face instead; I at least spend forty minutes getting my face ready. Or look at my butt instead! Just.. not the legs.

Guess I am no longer fasting from blogging.
Though I don't have all that much to say, to be honest... too busy having secret conversations with myself. heh

I should stick to Moleskine.

I don't think I will have any pleasantries to write about for the time being.

So I'm fasting from blogging.

To quote Katie Herzig;

When an ocean
sits right between us
There is no sign
we'll ever cross
You should know now
that I feel lost

I hurt too
I hurt too

I should be thankful.

I have a family that supports me, friends who makes me laugh, all the love a girl needs.. and more, a job that doesn't bore me..

But why do I feel like I'm wasting away? Why am I still a glass half-empty? Why am I still seeking for what ever it is that I'm seeking?
I am driving myself mad. I shall fall apart, as I truly deserve it.

Hi, I'm Wanie and I am a mess.

I need to write again.

As in with pen and paper.
I really miss writing in my Moleskine, but I never seem to have the time. Or even if I do, I tend to get sleepy 5 minutes after I start.
Horrible.

Anyway, not that I have a lot of things to say lately. But I find that I need to have a run through of my own mind without having it cooped up in my head. Feels like I'm getting tangled in them the more I leave it unwritten.

You know how it feels like.. to have a stable best friend for such a long time and suddenly losing it? So now you're left with no one to talk to about your stupid, silly problems.
I am feeling a bit like that right now.
I have friends who knows exactly what I am getting myself into at the moment, but nothing they will ever say could help me clear up my thoughts. But of course, I can't really tell them every detail of what I think and feel 'cause I'm also afraid of what they will say to me.
hahhahaha!

So yeah, don't ask me what's going on 'cause you know I won't tell. hehe.
I'm not in any big trouble or anything, I can assure you. I am just.. severely confused. But then again.. when have I never? heehee!

It's 5pm and I haven't written a single note for tomorrow's flight as I'd wanted to! ughh! This is ridiculous. I need to take my words seriously next time.

I slept and dreamt of cheese.

I feel like a fat kid now.
I mean, who the heck dreams about food?!
Well, I didn't just dream of food. I felt weird being left alone to sleep for too long. hahahha! (Usually my alarm would go off or someone would talk to me -- even when they know that I'm asleep, or do something to wake me.)

Feels like a long weekend. But to say that I'm looking forward to the new week would be a lie.
I do miss Bukit Jalil though. Weird. I definitely wasn't expecting it. Ah well, you learn something new everyday.

I should write some notes before my flight on Monday. I'd like to be prepared for once! hahaha!
'Til next time then.. (maybe later, maybe in a few weeks..) Take care, everyone!

So,

..a new chapter begins.
I feel different now.

More sleepy, more lazy, more tired, a little more enlightened and a lot less innocent.
HAHAHAHHAHA!

Last week I was a cabin crew trainee in Sarawak, having my first night stop flight.

Today, I am officially a cabin crew! Graduated last Thursday with 19 others of my ohana.

I'm a little excited for my first solo flight this Monday.. but mostly nervous! duuude! I need to acquire a faster pace while I'm on the job.
But I'm in a good place now.. sort of. heehee. (Forget that I am digging myself a hole and that I have only a few bucks left in my purse to last me another 14 days, I AM in a good place!)

I don't really feel like typing so much right now.. so,
Congratulations 09/09!! I had a great time with you guys this past 65 days; Adi, Awif, Murni, Mimi, Didi, Luqy, Sally, Nat, Yen Chew, Crissy, A-Moon, Lisa, Fabian, May, Bryan, Ain, Syabil, Ema and Felicia!

And I am SO going to miss you this two months, bestie-gedik!!
I shall go mental when I can't vent to you..

Hello, from Bukit Jalil.

Some would think that being a cabin crew leads you to a glamorous life. All I've done since I came home last night was sleep, doodle, sleep some more, read, do the laundry and basically laze, laze, laze.. Which part of that is glamorous, I have no idea..

Tomorrow's Sunday and I'll be 'working'. The thing about this job; you basically work with people and when it comes to people, there is always something new to learn. So I hope I'll learn a lot.

Call me "Crazy bitch".

I am unreasonable.
I am selfish.
I have anger issues.
I am short tempered.
I curse a lot.
I don't bounce back as fast as everyone else does.
I'm a late bloomer.
I am dependent.
I am annoying.
I am too serious sometimes.
I am egoistical.
I am emotional.
I am a girl.
I am tactless.
I write too much.
I'm indecisive.
I run away from my problems.
I get scared easily.
I like being alone.
I am depressive.
I am weak.
I hurt easily.
I'm unforgiving.
I am cold.
I think too much.
I like things going my way.
I'm a spoiled brat.
I am vindictive.
I'm neurotic.
I don't like myself.

Even he knows to text me.

All the trainers were right. Basically, what everyone had told me was right. Working in the line that I'll be working in.. the temptation is great.
Of course, when you speak to me of temptation.. I don't really need to be in this line to be "tempted".. I am always tempted to try out new things. Temptation is EVERYWHERE and they seem to call out to me personally sometimes.

I would say that I'm glad that I am too egoistical to bow down to them.
Like seriously, I refuse to be seen as weak to be tempted.
Sometimes I even make calls to temptation so I could say to them, "hah! suckaaa!"
hahahahha!
I'm speaking in riddles, aren't I?
Well, I am trying to occupy myself from worrying or being pissed at Boyfie for being M.I.A.

I can't seem to decide if I'm more worried or pissed.
Who are we kidding here, of course I'm PISSED!!
I am pretty much pissed all the time!
I have anger issues and it can be so obvious sometimes.

ughhh!!
You know what, I'll call him one more time and if he doesn't answer then I'll just let it be. He can call me if he want but I am just too annoyed to care. ughh!

----

See, I forgot to tell you about what happened today.
I went out to see Ana and Bahijah earlier and it was really nice, catching up with them. I haven't seen them since I started my training! Nothing much had changed, I suppose.. just that it had felt weird walking with them now.. I was reminded how it had felt like to be a giantess! hahahha!


But while I was waiting for them at Coffee Bean, some old guy came over to my table and asked if he could join me.. WTH?!

[ The old-man attractor strikes again!! ]

I was sitting.. minding my own business and this fella just came and wanted to sit with me! I said that I was waiting for my friends, then he said that he thought I was alone.. wtf? If I was sitting by myself and making no eye contact what so ever, I OBVIOUSLY want to be left alone! Then he stood there, asking where I'm from.. I answered and politely asked back the same question. He said that he's from Lebanon.. then asked if I know where it is T_T (Which I kinda do. I don't know EXACTLY where it is, but I know how the flag looks like! haha)
AND then, he asked me again if he could sit with me. I said NOOO, YOU FRIGGIN' OLD DUDE! LEAVE ME ALONE! (Okay, maybe not those exact words.. but that's what I'd thought of saying!)
Oh.. he also asked me if I have a boyfriend! WTH! Even if I don't, I'm not gonna let you sit with me you friggin' old dude!! uggghhh!!

Why do I keep attracting old men, honestly?
Why God, whyyyy??
Send me some tall, handsome men instead please! Then I'll let him/them sit with me for as long as he/they like!

What a week.

I do think that I am falling apart.
Too much information since the last 3 months, possibly.
Too much studying and finally.. next week, I'll be operating on an aircraft. (Four flights, to be exact.)

My batch were taught on the service procedures for the past week and GOD! There are too many things to remember and I kept feeling oh-so-sleepy!! So yeah, I'm falling apart 'cause I don't want to be one of those people who only knows things on paper but knows nothing of the practical -- but that's exactly how I feel right now.
*shivers*

I'll need to study real hard this weekend, honestly.
I wish not to be mad at by the seniors.

Moving on, I'll be in Bukit Jalil once I go on-line. (That's the word that they use once you officially operate 'solo', aparently.) So I should start packing or at least figure out what I'm taking with me tomorrow. (I'm moving myself tomorrow.. or at least that's the plan.)

I think I'm nervous. But also excited! (Typical.)
I wish it's already the next month so I could get my pay. hahahahha!

I'm not good at goodbyes.

Where's the 'good' in goodbyes anyway?

Funny how there are only days left to my training. Funny.. but mostly scary.
Time really flies this week and I have no idea where have all the days gone. (Obviously I was too engrossed by my own depressive thoughts to actually count the days.)

But really.. where have all those days gone??
My last day of class is basically this coming Monday and I'll begin my supernumerary thing (SNY) where I am expected to do things on the flight.
eeeep!!

Good thing I'll be moving in with Mimi and Murni.. with Sallina, Crystal and Yen Chew just six floors up from our apartment. And Nat's moving into the block next door. Like seriously.. I am very glad that I have these people close by.
I'm already missing my train-sessions with Awif. I miss our air-cover band while we have nothing else better to do! hahahha! We decided today that we are each other's best friends. HAHAHAHHA!

ughh! Next week is going to be scary.
And I was doing the slideshow earlier.. can't believe that this entire experience is ending.