Hello, stranger.

Been a while since I posted. Nothing much to update really. I hate to talk about my state of mind after the whole snatch thing. Talking about having to run around to get all my credentials sorted is even more infuriating. The cost of it all is ridiculous! I am working with a ridiculous company, in a ridiculous place, that's all I'm going to say.

Can I just curse all these ridiculous people to get snatched at a point of their life just so they realize how ridiculous they've been? I know it's mean to have ill-wishes on anyone, but I'm not a saint! And this whole situation isn't helping with my anger issues.

Oh yeah, I was reminded of all my anger issues as days go on. I have a lot of anger, if you hadn't known. Fine on the outside, fire on the inside.. That's me.

Perhaps that's why I'm such a potty-mouth. I know my parents never taught me how to curse. And my friends does not curse as much as I do. Oh well.. I have always been an angry person. And thinking of the snatcher, and the hassle that he's put me through ever since just makes me even more angrier!

Not exactly a feeling that I'd like to dwell in, but I don't think I'll ever feel better until I let things go. And NO, I will not let it go, I shall not forgive that mofo until he rots in hell!!!

..and I thought I wasn't going to talk about my state of mind.. Hahahhahaha!

Work's been all too consuming. Too many daily flights. Evening ones where I just end up getting home at midnight. Fall asleep in the wee hours of morning, wake up just to get ready for work again. Nothing fun about that.

Nars is opening next month in Pavilion! I am really looking forward to that. I have never owned a MAC anything and to be honest I don't feel the need to get anything from them, but Nars.. Nars.. Gotta have 'em all! (A slight Pokemon reference there..)

Okay, before I ramble on useless things, have a great week my dear readers and Selamat Aidiladha..

Trauma?

Perhaps some of you might have got the gist from my Instagram, I was a victim of a snatch crime yesterday morning. You know, all this while you've read and heard of it in the news.. I find being the person in this sort of story kinda surreal.

It happened right in front of my apartment compound.. Just next to Dida's car with her waiting inside. It happened so quickly and like I said, surreal.

It was a man on a motorbike, snatched my sling bag and rode off the opposite direction of the road. I suppose the speed of it made me spun on the spot and fell elbows first on the ground. I guess I should be thankful that my arms cought most of my weight.

Dida screamed quite hysterically, which now I find funny. She's being super protective of me now but I don't see how that's helpful. It could happen to anyone really. Some people are just rotten to the core, you can't really avoid from these sort of things happening.

To be honest I feel kinda bad for Dida.. She saw the whole thing right in front of her. Sure it sucks being the actual victim of the crime, but to see your loved being the victim and not be able to do anything while it happened? I think that sucks even worse.

I'm not sure if the incident has left me traumatized.. I doubt anything could ever make me not want to go out! But I can't stop my mind from replaying the incident over and over again. Feels like I could've done more.. Hold on to my bag a little more stronger.. Stand sideways when I saw the motorbike approaching.. Opened the car's door a little sooner.. Jogged towards my sister's car.. Snapped the motorbike's registration number..

I really wished that the whole thing was a dream.. I can't stop wanting a do-over because honestly, I am pissed!

I want my things back!!

I want my Billabong bag back, I want the Coach wristlet that Dida gave me back, I want the Moleskine journal that Alif got me for last year's birthday back, I want the awesome pair of shades that I got for RM 8 in Debenhams back, I want my cigarette case back, I want my two Bourjois lip crayons back! I want them back!!

Bloody snatcher will never have a quiet life. I curse him 'til the day that I die.. I hope he'll spend the rest of his life with an excrutiating cancer then die a violent death! A bloody accident on the way to the hospital, perhaps.

I don't care.. He won't ever live an easy life for causing me pain.

I can't imagine myself ever forgiving him.

But I am grateful that I came out of it with minor cuts and bruises on my elbows and knee. Grateful that my head (or face!) never touched the ground. Grateful that I had my phone in my hand or I'd be completely lost for not having anybody's number memorized.

Things could be worse, and I am grateful that that was not the case.

Alhamdulillah..

Having lost my things did not make me cry. I am sad, yes but mostly angry. But seeing the look on my family's face.. That made me tear up!

Anyway, I am currently in Osaka.. Just returned from Rinku Outlet buying things that I spent with the money Mama lent me, despite everything. Hahhaha! But man, I've got a LOT to do when I get back!! Gahhh!

Rumour has it..

So apparently I'm married.
Don't know what I can say about that.. Dumbfounded really.
Some people just seem to be able to say more about me than myself! How amazing is that?

Recently I flew with a colleague who was so SURE that I was married -- I swear it was as if she was trying to convince me that I did have the wedding! She then mentioned the wedding card at the notice board during our time at the lounge -- one that ironically said "Hazwani & Khairul".. or something like that.
I remember laughing at the card when I saw it.
But it was NOT an invitation to MY wedding. Nope.
Like I would stick an invitation card as openly as that.. pfft! (I don't exactly like that many people to begin with.. hahahha!)

Then of course there was this;

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!
Okay, I doubt anyone would confuse me with this Wani person. Still, it made me laugh when I saw this copy of Sinar at the news stand last year.

Then last week, one of my favourite supervisors attempted to confirm with me that I was married too. Well, he got the wrong "Wanie".. the person he was referring to was actually Syazwani -- which isn't even called Wani by our peers! Like, seriously. Then he commented, "couldn't believe someone as wacky had gotten married.." thinking if I had truly got hitched. Whatever that means.
I'm not meant to get married? ooh?

So anyway, today during the first hour of my flight.. One of my crew, which happened to be an acquaintance (one that I've known since my earlier days in the company and have actually seen outside the company time) did something pretty odd. At the time, I was sitting and my left palm was facing up on my lap. So this steward just grabbed my hand and flipped it so the top of my hand was facing up. He looked at my fingers for a moment and gave a small nod.
WHAT - THE - HECK?!
How is it that a LOT of people thinks I'm married?? OYYY!!
It is quite disturbing, to be honest.

For one, if I am married and still behave the way that I do.. Man, I'm a bad bad wife! hahahhaha! Or have I been acting like a married woman?? Damn, now I feel old. Thank you, people.
So, NO.. I am not married. I'm pretty sure I would've nagged how I hate planning a wedding in here first.

The idea of marriage still makes me laugh, to be honest. Poor Encem, I can never take him seriously. Perhaps I'll stop laughing once he actually say something to my father.
Sigh. I wonder if I'll ever be ready for marriage... I don't think I am right now.
I just hope no one will ask me if I am married anytime soon, because I have a feeling I might blow up if someone does.

I feel guilty..

I've always said that this blog has been the soul thing that I could really commit myself to.
I've had this blog for eleven freakin' years now and for the first time ever I had a two-month (nearing to three!) long hiatus!
I'm sorry blog (and readers!), it was not intentional. Life got in the way somehow. And I am partly blaming this past hiatus to my phone for being so distracting!

Shall I update you on everything that's been going on since I last wrote?
Dare I?
I'll try not to ramble.
I probably won't since my memory is so bad, I can hardly remember what my last flight was!
Oh well.. I'll just try and make this as entertaining as I can.

Recently I battled with an allergy attack -- the same one that I got a few years back. Started some nights ago from my palms and followed by a swollen lower lip the morning after. YES. Lower lip. I cannot tell you how badly I'd like to laugh to that if it hadn't been my own lip. Then of course came the lot of rashes around my legs and arms that somehow made my entire body just sore and achy.
I hadn't gone to the doctor's. I found some old meds in the fridge that seemed to calm down the itch so I'm content for the time being. I don't know about you but I HATE going to the clinic so as long as the pain (or in this case, itch) is manageable, I'll put off seeing the doctor for as long as I can.
Plus I had just been there last week because I was having a fever and a cold.
Suppose my body just decided to deteriorate now.
Oh! And as for the allergy, I don't think it started because of anything? I am just calling it an "allergy" because it seems like one, but I hadn't done anything new recently.. And apparently this sudden rashes didn't happen to just me (thanks Google!) and while others have gotten themselves tested, their doctors couldn't give them any concrete answer to why it happened to them either.
So yeah... I'll run to see the doc once my meds are gone.

Work has been pretty overwhelming. I suppose I could blame that to my lack of update. Honestly I just don't have the time to sit around and ponder about life. I don't think that's a bad thing personally. If you had been following this blog, you would know that I would much rather living life than write about it -- but I don't mind having a bit of time to jot down some things either.

My rest days have been minimal.. I keep having to pack and unpack my bags -- a part of my job that I hate the most.

And yes, as you've noticed, I am beginning to call this thing that I do to keep my livelihood as a "job". Gets kinda sad to be honest.

I still have fun at work. I still love (most of) the people that I work with. But there comes a day when I am just too tired, stretched too thin to even care if I am smiling to the passengers or not.

But on the positive note, I did spend a few days in Cherating with my family last month. I have also been to Hong Kong, Macau, New Delhi, Osaka, Hyderabad, Taipei and Bangkok since I last updated!

Lots of money spent!! Gah!

Which led to my year-end resolution (if that even makes sense) to actually.. really.. truly start saving up some money. I honestly can't see why I would need anymore make-up or skincare products.. Or jackets and dresses.. Or nail polishes! I mean, come oonnn.. They are wonderful, but I really don't need more when I barely have the space to keep them! So my second year-end resolution; only buy things that I need -- which are things that I have finished and need to replace, or things that I have always always wanted. Things that I've thought of getting for more than three months at least! Hahhahhaha!

I refuse to deprive myself of good food though. So I'd always splurge on that! As for things, I'm pretty sure you could see how I'll fare from my Instagram. If you see a picture of a haul on there, you'll know I'd failed. Hahahhahahahaha

That sounded like I've set myself up to fail. Oh well, everyone has their weaknesses.

I'll try my best.. So wish me luck!

And I'll try to update this blog as often as I used to. I've really missed rambling on and on about my thoughts as if it mattered to anyone. Hahahahaha!

So vain.. But in a quiet sort of way.. Heehee

Temptations, temptations..

Crewlife..

I had a bit of conversation with a colleague last night on how easy it is to go astray, working in the line that we work in.

Hotels.. Out of town.. Noone to recognize you..

Easy!

Hahahahahahhaha!!

It was such a dangerous conversation to have, yes.

Anyway, it was almost like the "episode curang" conversation that I had with Bestie a while back. So yeah, sometimes I wonder why I keep getting myself into these odd little conversations.

Maybe so I could assure myself that I will keep myself true by saying things out loud? Hahahahahahahaha

I swear, sometimes I wish I wasn't too much of a Sagittarius that I am. I can honestly say that I scare myself sometimes.. Or is it most times? Hahahaha

Anyway, currently I am in Jakarta on a four days trip. Visited Mumbai for the first time two days ago and it was raining really heavily! A total 180 degrees from Delhi that was irritatingly hot.

The highlight of Mumbai was of course... Hard Rock Cafe! (Surely you could've guessed that by now.)

Going back home tomorrow and I am glad.. My bags are getting too damn heavy!!

Perhaps one day I'll do a 'what's in my bag' post just to show you the crap I lug around for work.. heh!

90 Freakin' Hours..

Alhamdulillah...

I survived the month of May. God knows how badly I wanted this month to end. Bloody ninety flying hours may not sound a lot to you but it was close to death to me! My entire body is aching, and my sleep is completely messed up!

I don't usually sleep in the transport.. Sometimes I do, but not EVERY SINGLE TIME like I did this month. I just can't help myself.. I am just too damned tired!

Four years in the airline, the most I flew was about 70 hours. So yeah, for someone who usually has 60 to 70 flying hours a month, getting 90 hours is a WHOLE LOT!

And everyone's saying that I'll get a good amount of allowance. True, but to do this again? I don't think so.

It is just not worth it!

Seriously not worth it!!

I would much rather have my typical allowance, and eleven days off, thank you very much!

I don't have the time to blog. I barely even tweet. The most I do these days is post on my Instagram; a picture is worth a thousand words, they say. Ha!

Funny that I am ending this month by dead-heading from Kuching back to base. 

But wait! I am doing Bangkok and back tomorrow.. Well, hello June!

Gaaahhhhhh!!!

Next month's roster is a whole new case; just SEVEN days off!! Seriously, what the hell is going on?!!

Yes, I asked for flying full time. But no, I did not ask for a back pain.

Anyway, I'm still glad to be able to say that I am a flight stewardess. No more "hybrid" business. Just glad. So glad.

And hey! Despite 90 hours of flying, I somehow couldn't find a single thing to cry about this month.. Which is pretty AMAZING!

I somehow feel indebted to Encem.. For somehow keeping me sane and not letting me be my usual emotional self.. Somehow.

I am glad to be on my way home. I am grateful for a bunch of things this month.. Mostly for my health, I guess. I am grateful for the friends and family whom has kept me smiling and laughing all throughout the month.

Just.. Alhamdulillah..

Kinda looking forward to June now.. A month of birthdays! Wheeee!

Hope you'll have a wonderful month ahead, my dear patient readers..

Busy busy busy bee..

Feels like all I ever do is work these days. Yes, I do keep a mental note to be grateful to have a job, to be able to fly fulltime again..

But I also can't deny the fact that my entire body is aching! With the lack of sleep and everything, seriously.. I'm tired.

I am off to Kuching again today. I am always in Kuching this month! Kinda wish that there would be something different in my roster but I keep getting different set of crew so at least the experience is different each time.

Let's see, what have you missed?

Nothing much really. I was in Hong Kong for a bit last week. Didn't shop as much as when I was there last. There wasn't any sale, plus I had JUST been there two months ago! I didn't even get to spend all the HK$ that I'd brought.

For what ever reason, that upsets me the most! Hahahahha! I sound like a total shopaholic.

I also had a little exchange with FabulousMiss.. Excuse me, FabulousMrs while we were both in BKI on a separate layover.

Anyway, nothing much really.. I'll write more if I think of something! 

TPE

Apparently the last time I was here was January 2012! (Things I love Foursquare for.)
So sad. And I love Taipei. But I am only here for the night. Touchdown at 9 last night, wake up call is in 8 hours. I don't even get the chance to walk around town.
Good thing there's a 7-11 next door... And I LOVE the 7-11 here!

They are so.. wholesome. You could actually get a complete meal from them.. Which is super awesome!

Anyway, I should be sleeping. We're flying back to KL in the afternoon then head to Jakarta!
Nothing much to tell you guys at the moment. Just thought I'd drop by and say hi!

Random things on my mind; I hope payday comes soon because I am itching to shop! Gahhh! Looking forward to the roster as well, Dida's excited to know if I'll be available to vote in the coming General Elections.
I am excited about my little get together with my favourite people once I get back from this trip. Also excited about watching Iron Man with Dida at the end of the month.

And something new, I'd ditched my Blackberry last Friday and is now a confused owner of an iPhone 5! I've got an Instagram account now.. Go figure!

Hope everyone is doing well.. 'Til next time, take care!

Holy crap!!

My wish came true.. (Or at least becoming true..)
If you'd seen my Facebook, you know what I mean. But I guess not many would understand why it's such a BIG deal.. but to me, IT IS.
So yeah.. that's all I've got to say.
Everything's good, I just got back from flight a couple of hours ago.. Encem's been good to me.. Life has been good to me. God has been good to me. Alhamdulillah..

I'm delirious about Before Midnight!! eeeeeeep!!!

Kepala pusing.

Oh hey! Finally I get the chance to have an update of some sort.
I didn't sleep at all last night. Coming home at almost one.. seemed a bit pointless to try to get any sleep when I need to wake up at four.
It's times like this when I'm glad that I am not operating on any flight today.

So I'm at the domestic lounge today. Kris Dayanti just walked in half an hour ago, looking gorgeous. (But a little too much makeup. So when I say "gorgeous", I meant her bod! hahahha) I'm trying to shake off the embarrassment of asking for a picture together. I'm not wearing a good bra, or my good pair of uniform so I'd look unshapely standing next to her! (Oh heck, I just don't feel attractive today.)
But Mencintaimu is my must-sing song everytime I go to karaoke!
So we'll see..

If you're a friend on my Facebook, you've probably seen my status that I will no longer be in the lounge next month -- meaning that I'll be a full-time flight crew once again! Yippeee!
So glad that our time in purgatory has ended. (Well, I have one more day to get through tomorrow.) Honestly not everything that has happened is bad. I've made new acquaintances, learnt a bit of the system.. and really, I wouldn't have met half of these people if we weren't stuck in this together. It gets a little sad thinking that we won't be able to hang out as often after this.
But really.. I'm very glad to only have my flights to bitch about after this! hahhaha

Oh!

Like I said.. Unattractive. sigh.

Six hours to go.. God have mercy on me.

When in Jakarta...

My set were basically people who were at the lounge as well.. so we got along pretty well. They were actually doing a few days trip, and I only joined them for the Jakarta flight. One actually asked me if I'd taken my medicine as I got on the airfcraft. Yeah.. well.. these people know how nutty I can get.

One of my stewardess is getting married this year, so we went to ITC Mangga Dua so she could look at some stuff for the wedding while Syam (my fellow Tea & Coffee Ambassador! hahhahha!) and I browsed at nothing in particular.

Naturally, "nothing in particular" ends up in a haul!!

I got handbags for Dida and Encem's Mama for Rp50,000 each. (Roughly RM16 -- bargain!) I got myself a black clutch for Rp60,000. A pair of flats; Rp35,000, a couple corsets and some makeup stuff that are not in the picture. A friend of mine gave me a brow liner some months ago and I just LOVE it! So of course, I need back-ups for it.

At some point, we were looking at wedding dresses and I couldn't take my eyes off of this one;

So pretty!!! It's yellow, I definitely wouldn't wear it.. but the design was exquisite! Lace at the top and a luscious bottom. So.. so pretty. The shop lady said it is Rp7.5 million. That's RM2,400. For a wedding dress.. that doesn't seem a lot. I'm pretty sure that's the cost of renting that sort of dress around here anyway.

So pretty!

We were walking some more then I saw this!

A pair of butt-looking panties! I couldn't help myself but laughed out loud. It was scary and intriguing at the same time. Syam said it looked "sexy", the pervert! I laughed again, of course. Basically this is a padded panties that you wear so your butt looks fuller. Lebih mantop! hahhahahha!

The idea of putting on an additional butt is too scary for me so NO, I didn't get it. hahahha!

One more flight before my flying week ends and hell starts again.

So I'm going to enjoy this two days off and sleep as much as I can!

#crewlife?

Spent pretty much the whole of yesterday sleeping!
A shame, really. Especially when I'm not particularly fond of sleeping to begin with. Feels like I've wasted a chunk of my life!
But I was back in Shah Alam and it was so damn HOT!! -- before it was pouring rain, that is.
Funny how an English couple asked me how the weather in LGK was just before the flight.. I told them that the captain said it's good and sunny -- for now, I added. They laughed.
And as we arrived in Langkawi, it rained quite heavily.. so we laughed some more.
You can never tell the weather these days.

HKG was chilly from the breeze. I liked the weather. It's like a rainy day in Malaysia, minus the rain. My crew and I went up The Peak. It was my second time up there, but first time by bus. The ride was pretty nerve-wrecking. Scarier than by tram because of the winding road and low tree branches. (It was a double decker bus!)
The view was incredible.. I would've enjoyed it more if I wasn't too scared of heights. (And I am a flight crew.. life couldn't be more ironic than that.)

Afterwards we split up, my supervisor went back to the hotel because it was getting too cold for him (he only had a shirt on), my steward/ess went looking for prey and my stewardess followed me walking around the shopping area.
We got back to the hotel around eight.. and of course, with quite a haul.

Some were mine, one was for Dida, and I got a little something for Mumu and Mami as well.
I got myself an HRC pin from The Peak.. mostly because there hasn't been any addition to my collection for months, which I thought was sad. I also bought a pair of skirt, jegging, a sweater and a muffler. (It was really thick and long and costs only RM20!) Then at the drugstore, I got a Bourjois foundation that I've been meaning to try out -- the brand is unavailable in Malaysia, so I was really hoping to find it in HK. So glad that I did! Also Revlon's Color Silk hair colour in Deep Burgundy, that costs RM17! Total bargain.
Oh, I also got a matte nail top coat from Sasa. Never heard of the brand but I've been looking for one in ages, so what the heck!

Oh yes, I've been having a little trouble with shopping lately. (Lately?)
It's more like "I can't quiet down my wants."

Anyway, back from flight I spent the night with Dida.. went to see Warm Bodies which was surprisingly enjoyable! We felt like watching something light, and the trailer seemed a bit goofy. We both got out of the cinema with smiles on our faces and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!
I honestly really liked it. I might even loved it.
I can honestly say that it is now my favourite zombie-movie, closely followed by Shaun Of The Dead. (yepp, I am only into zombie-movies if they're funny.)

So now I'm back in Bukit Jalil. Coloured my hair and barely recognized myself. Turns out "Deep Burgundy" looks "Practically Black" on me so it felt a bit unnatural when I am so used to seeing myself with brown hair. Even my natural dark hair looks brown under the light while this one just looks.. black.
Feels like I should get a black lipstick and go all Gothic.
Oh well, at least it covers my grey hairs.

That's it for now. I feel like I should stare into my drawers so I could figure out what to bring for my Jakarta trip tomorrow.
Be safe, dear readers.

Free internet.

Helloooooo Hong Kong!
Oh yes, this post comes to you all the way from Hong Kong! Fancy, huh?
The time now is a quarter past one and I have a double-shot coffee in front of me. heh. Stupid machine didn't have any labels for the buttons so I'd pushed the button for espresso unknowingly.
Oh well, what can you do?

I was late for my flight's briefing on Wednesday. Daily KCH flight.
I came down for my pick-up at 0625. Sat on my trolley bag.. fixed my make up a bit.. stared at the cars passing by as its driver made their way to work..
Then something made me want to look at my flight details; STD -- 0825! Which meant that my pick-up was at 0525!!!

So I called Encem, woke him from his sweet slumber, asked him to send me to the airport. Oh sigh, dear God, bless that boy. Then I called the duty officer to inform my colleagues that I'd got my time wrong. (Briefing was at 0655!)
Nak dijadikan cerita, Encem needed to fill the tank of his car and didn't bring his wallet (too sleepy to think) and I only had a few Ringgit in my purse. We drove to BHP, but the doors were still locked. Drove to Shell, same thing! Good thing there was a Maybank just opposite of the gas station so Encem drove the car like a rally driver, I jumped out of the car to get to the ATM, jumped back into the car and we drove back to Shell.
When I got to the airport, I looked at the departures screen and saw that the aircraft was parked at B11!! Way at the end of the terminal. Baguslah, nak dijadikan cerita lah kan..
Anyway, I got to the aircraft about 10 minutes before the passengers board which was just enough time for me to change into my sandals and stow my bag.
Oh! And instead of being an assist crew, I was Primary 4 -- because I was the only girl in the set! Gahh!

The flight itself was uneventful -- thank God! Enough drama for one morning.

Okay. Nothing else to share. Honestly, I really do feel that I am much more eloquent when describing sadness. hahahha! That is almost depressing.
I'm looking forward to daybreak. Pretty excited to walk around the city though I'm not really sure what I want to do/see. It's been a year since I was here last. Last time I was excited about being able to shop at H&M and visit the Hard Rock Cafe. But I'd already visited the one in Lan Kwai Fong and also The Peak.. and there are H&M in Kuala Lumpur now.
So....

Perhaps I'll let you know what I ended up with in my next entry.

Oh, I forgot to bring my make-up remover wipes. (Loving Simple's wipes, by the way! I've used Nivea's since I joined the airline -- because I am LAZY.. but I tried Simple's late last year and I ADORE it!) So happens that the one I had in my bag ran out on the last night of my previous trip and it completely slipped my mind to chuck a new pack into my bag yesterday.
So I'll be going McGyver-ish and use the hotel's complimentary lotion to remove my make up tonight.

Busy?

Not really..
Just enjoying myself for the most part.

Yesterday's flight was super tiring. It was only BKK and back but it was full load and we were short of crew. (What's new?) I didn't enjoy the company of one of the stewards I had. He talks big, as if he's the awesomest (no, that's not a word) person in the whole wide world!
Out of ten things that came out from his mouth, I'd probably listened to two.

On the way back we had a bunch of locals coming back from a company vacation. At one point I was pushing my cart because it was already full, and while these passengers were trying to catch my attention to make a request, I just told them to wait a bit and that I'll come back in a jiffy.
Then I heard this one fella said, "itulaa, dulu suruh belajar pandai pandai tak nak.."
.......
I'd much rather hit him with one of the tea/coffee jugs, but what came out of my mouth was simply, "wow, biadapnye.."
And later the same fella had the nerve to ask me where I was from.. pffft! And he thinks he's smart.

Would it be racist to confess here that I never liked flying with a bunch of locals? They always have this kind of attitude as if they deserve more than the rest. And they're rarely ever kind. Which is weird! Because I'm pretty sure they were taught to be polite at least.

Anyway, my back aches. I suppose I was never fully rested from my days at the lounge. Out of the ten days there, I was doing Meet & Greet for eight! That is a LOT of walking. I'm not really complaining, I like that task. At least I don't have to stand around like an eejit in the lounge.
Then last weekend I was mall-hopping with Dida. We basically went to EIGHT friggin' malls on Saturday alone! Since she had lost so much weight, she needed to find a new pair of everything. I am happy for her. From size 18/20.. she can now fit into a size 12! She's incredible. She said that she aims for size 10, and maybe then she'll start eating carbs again.

I don't think I could ever say no to potatoes. And coffee.
I'm at my heavy/chunky-phase at the moment. I blame rice.. indirectly Encem, because he's the one who cooks them! You'll never see me cook rice. Well, maybe you will. I have no problem cooking rice, but I never knew how to prepare all the things that goes along with it.
But I've been to Starbucks a LOT lately. Which is sucky in its awesome way. I really ought to cut down on those. Sugar.. carbs.. bad bad BAD!!

Okay, nothing else to share. I have a pretty early pick-up tomorrow.
Hope you guys are having  a good week!

Oy, I'm getting old.

It's flying week! Yippeee!
I'm back from a three-nights KCH trip, and my whole body aches. Can't wait to hit the showers.. right after I peel off this pore strip I have on. Can't wait to lather on my off-day bodywash and shampoo.
Yes, I have an off-day bodywash and shampoo. I refuse to use it for everyday because they smell too good; so I save them for special occasions -- like off days! hahahhha!

Seems like my grey hair is spreading. Used to be just at the front part of my hair (like Rogue), now they're at the sides too! aghhhh! That really bugs me. Guess it's time to hit the saloon.. Maybe after pay day. Or maybe I'll use one of those DIY kits this time. I don't know.. I'll decide later.

Flights hadn't been eventful. They're all alright, but nothing much to talk about.

Damn stupid pore strip just made me cry.
Oh, that's my cue for soapy-time!
Perhaps I'll write some more later.

Have a good weekend, everybody!

Week's review!

Oh wow, aren't I interesting to actually have a review of the week?

Anyway, it's been a good one.
I was flying from the end of last month 'til last Sunday. I came for the lounge on Monday, had a day off and been working for four days in a row. And pretty much each night I go to bed at 6am! (Except tonight since it's already 7 in the morning..)
Yeah, I'm troubled. Only this time I am referring specifically to my trouble sleeping.

Flying had been good. I enjoyed myself pretty much on most flights. Even all the delays and short of crew can't keep me down. I had the pleasure, and great luck to fly with good people! Alhamdulillah..
Nothing much on the flying week I suppose. Or maybe I'd waited too long to write about it that I have now forgotten all of the details! hahhahha

My feet hurts and my whole body aches. But my heart is full, and that's what matters the most.
A passenger looked for me by name earlier, which I thought was crazy. I was on a ciggy break and my colleague texted me; "an Indian fella was asking about you".. I thought he was joking! But somehow a face came to mind.

And true enough, the person who was looking for me was a frequent traveller that I keep bumping into at the lounge. I just never thought that he'd remember my name.. I'm pretty sure that I haven't seen him for weeks.. if not months.
Anyway, I enjoyed talking to him. He's just one of those guys who are easy to talk to.
Oh, and he thought I looked Eurasian if not Sarawakian.. which was amusing. He suggested that perhaps somewhere in my ancestry was of Caucasian blood, and I just told him that they're all Indonesian as far as I know. hehe

And today I bumped into an uncle at the aerotrain! I was fussing over my airport ID when somebody approached me. I got quite the shock since I'd only seen him last month at the customs area! Feels like I only get to see my family if they were in the airport somehow..
Basically I've been bumping into a LOT of familiar faces this week..

I'm all out of things to share!
My nails are blue now. I'm gonna talk about that on Tumblr after I get some sleep.
Hope you're all enjoying your weekend.

Bliss.

Can I say that I love myself when I'm in this mood?
Well, things been good and I could easily say that I'm happy.
So naturally, I'm afraid. This feeling doesn't stick too long most of the time. But I'm hoping..
I really love the way I am feeling.

Even when I am blogging this at the lounge.
I am wide-eyed, you have no idea how scary that looks to other people. hahaha!
I figured three cups of coffee would do that to a person. A relatively normal person, anyway.
My nails are green; looks pretty good with the uniform. (I might post a picture later since I'm ALL about nails lately.)

Apparently my Tumblr looks like a make-up blog now, according to Bestie.

Anyway, I'm feeling good.. that's pretty much all I wanted to say.
Have a great week everyboddeh!

Oh! I should probably blog about my flying week next.

Dizzy.

I've been down with a nasty fever for the past couple of days. I didn't go to any clinic because the ones that I usually go to would always make me wait long enough at the waiting room for me to wish that I'd just die right there. So I went into shaman mode and basically take a cold shower every few hours so the heat would leave my body -- and had Panadols.. hahaha!
It worked, I no longer have a fever. But I'm at that stage where I am sort of floating, and everything tastes like metal in my mouth. ughh.

Dida and Encem offered to bring me to the doctor everyday.. But the doctors that I usually end up seeing are.. how shall I say this kindly.. hmm.. Useless.
So honestly speaking, I'd much rather take things into my own hands. I mean, wouldn't you rather die by your own stupidity than a doctor's incompetence? (Okay, perhaps that is just me.)

Being sick also makes me an emotional wreck. I must've cried like fifteen thousand times! I would laugh about something with Encem and the next minute I'd cry non-stop. Even tv shows makes me cry. Tv shows that isn't Grey's Anatomy! (I always cry watching that, whether I'm sick or not..)
So yeah,  hate being sick. Crying all the time just makes it worse.

I was scolded by a passenger on my previous flight. Apparently I was rude to her when I asked her to wait when she asked for a refill of her tea. She recommended that I should go back to training school for the way I behaved blablablaa and she asked, "you get me?"
I said yes.. Not a single apology though. Perhaps I was kinda rude, but to me that was just me being normal. She had asked for a refill when I wasn't even pushing my cart. I was holding a few trays as the passengers at the back haven't even got their meals!
So yeah, I am rude to selfish, inconsiderate bastards. Funny thing was, everyone around her was looking at HER funny, and not at all treated me differently. So, if any of you behaves like an inconsiderate mother-effer on my flight.. do expect rudeness in return.

That makes the second obvious complaint against me since I've been flying. The first was during my first month on the job. A passenger vomited on the aisle while meal service was in commence. I can't remember how or why but I stepped on that puddle of yuck and said (under my breath), "shoot".
At the end of flight my supervisor told me that the sister of the sickly person complained to him that I'd used a vulgar word, and not at all sensitive to the situation.
Honestly, I'd like to see her step into that crap and say "yippee".

People are just weird sometimes..
I do have one more story to tell. But I don't think I'm gonna. It's not funny nor amusing.. So I'd rather be pissed in silence. heh.
I do hope that my head would come back to the ground soon. Gonna be up all night tonight! Four bloody days of absurdity and another day off. It sucks that I'd spend my weekend off being sick. sigh..

F.

You know that feeling you get when things just goes wrong for you?

I just had that sort of day..
When not ONE single thing goes my way. And instead of feeling disappointed or upset, I am plain PISSED!

Seriously, I hate everything and anyone right now. Maybe I'll change my mind in a bit but for now, I am just full of HATE!!!

I hate "privelleged" people. I definitely hate politicians. I hate people with "titles" because honestly, if noone knows exactly the contribution you made to get the title, you definitely didn't earn it.

And I hate that I feel like I keep on giving and giving and getting nothing back! I hate doing favours for people that I don't even like or remotely care.

I hate that I curse everytime I look or think about my roster next month. I am complaining, I know. But I deserve to complain. I SHOULD complain, not all those other kids who complains how their friends got two Taipei and they only got one. COME ON!!!
We have a saying that goes, "if you're not happy, resign."
For once I am really contemplating about it.

Shit.
I should've stick to my plan years ago. This isn't how I imagined my life would be. I was never meant to stay here and be anybody's bitch.

Damn it! I must get out from all this crap.
Sent from my BlackBerry® via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Two sides of every story..

It makes me sad thinking that my friends would gang up on Encem.
And I realize that it's partly my fault..
Haven't you noticed that I mostly write when I'm feeling sappy?
Honestly speaking, I wouldn't BE writing if I wasn't. Most of the time anyway. When I am thoroughly enjoying life, you wouldn't find me writing about it because I'd rather enjoy my life than write about it!

So yeah, I'm miserable a lot. (Or at least I use the word a lot!)
And yes, Encem may or may not be the cause of it.
But to judge him solely based on MY blog is unfair.. because that's just one side of our story.

Let's start off with this; I may or may not have a stable mind to begin with. Dida shall be a witness to that. She plainly calls me "weird". She understands me.. and is completely clueless about me at the same time. But she loves me. Plus, she's my sister so whether she likes it or not.. she accepts me.
Examples of my mind's instability; I speak of death a whole LOT! And I remember saying out loud that I should die when I was EIGHT after a quarrel with Dida. hahahhaha! Do you know anyone who speaks of suicide at the age of eight?
Oh, I am also WAAAY too emotional for my own good.
And when I'm disappointed with someone, I'd think of suicide (rather than murdering the person) just so that person could not make it up to me. In hopes that they'll regret it for the rest of their long lives. Oh yes, I am horribly spiteful.

Honestly, I think I would've been long dead if I didn't believe in God, religion, heaven and hell..

So now comes in Encem..
Is he my soulmate? No idea!
Is it practical to be with him? Not really.. generally I think it's more practical to be alone.
Do I enjoy being in a monogamous relationship? ..well, my thoughts are hardly ever monogamous.
But it isn't fair for me to expect him to SAVE me, is it?
I have this idea that my soulmate should FIX me.. but at the same time, my pride would rather have me fix myself! Hence the constant talk that I need noone.

But the facts are -- I've been with Encem for more than three years. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry. Sometimes he cries with me. He buys me books instead of chocolates, he's incredibly patient and I can never get enough of his hugs.
He cooks for me and I'm pretty sure it's been almost a year since I last made anything for him.
He takes care of me when I'm sick, and he's rarely ever speak ill of me.
Unlike me.. on this blog. See, he doesn't need a blog to speak his mind because he actually says them out loud -- if you manage to pry it out of him.

It isn't his fault that I'm such a needy prick.
He's been the same person that he's always been.
And I never even knew that I could be this needy before I met him. I must admit that in the past, I would've been the one who is chased after. Everything was just too easy.
Encem annoys the crap out of me sometimes.. but he makes me feel alive. (Yes, that sounds corny.)

So don't hate him when you don't even know him.. Only I'm allowed. hehe
Plus, my expectations of him is VERY high, you have no idea.
I'm sorry if you get tired of me venting about my love life.. And I can assure you that it's not going to stop anytime soon.

A line from The Perks Of Being a Wallflower;
We accept the love we think we deserve..
..now, what crossed his mind to think he deserve a psycho like me..?