Saturday - February 21, 2003 Sick?
Shoot.. Lost of appetite again. I think it really suxX, not being able to finish your meal. Honestly, I've had that plenty of that these days, and I don't like it one bit! Makes me feel like I'm sick.. Though, I usually get sick when I don't eat.. And yeah, it's coming. My flu's over.. but Mama kept telling me how pale I was when I got home, yesterday. I hate that! I hate it when people tell me that I'm pale.. 'coz I've been hearing that for years and years.. I'm not well!! Get over it! It's not like I do it on purpose. Bluerrghh.. Though, I don't faint when I do plenty of activities. I just get really... really drowsy and pale. Huhuu.. not enough blood, equals to not enough oxigen. Actually, I don't know much about this 'sickness' I'm having. I didn't do my part of research 'coz I kept forgetting the name of this 'sickness'. If I say that I'm anemic, I think I'd be lying.. 'coz I don't feel like it's THAT serious. Hehh~ Though I do know that donating my blood can risk my own life, and the one that receives my blood.. Not really risk their life, but I don't think it helps if they use my blood.. Ekkekke! (sorry if you don't get this..) So anyways.. maybe one day I'll go a bit 'medical' when I know exactly what I'm having. ^_^ Bengong.. dah banyak kali check darah, but still tak tau blood group ape.. Ekkekke!! Kenape kan, Wanie rase.. kalau teenagers ade penyakit lah kan, usually berkenaan ngan darah? Huumm..
Drowned with boredom this whole day. Thought I was going crazy, but I didn't! Wanted so much to hang out with someone, but I can't think of anyone. I mean, I thought of calling some guy friends and ask any of them to hang.. but nanti terpikir lain laak.. tak kuase! I really hate the fact that my gurl friends are not around.. and I can't call up my guy friends 'coz I'm afraid if I'd be 'inappropriate'.. Urrghhh!! Wanted to go out alone, but who am I kidding? I even had trouble crossing a busy road all by myself. Ekkeke!! And where's the fun in going out alone?? Hihhihik~!
And now you and I are trapped
in a rather confusing box
Hehh~ well, I'm confused over something right here.. And I don't know why I think of that line. I think I've been hearing that word -confuse- too much these days. Ana like to say it to me.. "Maybe dia confuse kot.." Ekkekke!! It frustrates me, but it's getting funnier everytime me and Ana use it again.. ^_^
Okehh.. that's all for tonight. I have nothing else mind-opening (yeah, right!) to say tonight..

Current song : Tonight by Sixpence None The Richer
~ It's hard to know where I'm supposed to go ~

Friday - February 20, 2003 Meteor Garden
Honestly, I hate Dao Ming Si's mother!! What's up with her, maan? San Chai decided to leave Si 'coz his mom is messing with her friends' lives. So not fair!! Just because she's from a different background, Si's mom told them to stop seeing each other. And San Chai is really getting to like Si!! If that happens in real life, surely it'd hurt.. They were just about to get so attached.. But I think San Chai's really neat! She's brave enough to stand up to Si's mom.. and at least both of them had some moments together to stand up for their 'happiness'.. of course, that's until Si's mom made a move to San Chai's friends. So selfish of her!! And moms usually thought of their childrens' happiness!! Bluekk! Jahat.. jahaaat!
Ekkeke!! Funny.. I've read the spoilers of this series but I'm still sensitive over the episodes.. Ekkekek!
Okaay, been messing with my parents lately. Maybe you ought to try this at home. Kalau diorang gertak nak tinggalkan korang kat mane-mane, or tak nak amek korang.. (yeah, usually happen to me 'coz I made stupid stupid jokes that made them geram at me.. Ehhehe~!) cakap kat diorang "Eleeeh.. nanti korang rindu!".. Ekkekek!! Of course, I don't know your parents, and I don't know their response.. but my charm works perfectly at my parents and sisters.. 'coz they'd laugh it up and say no more. I mean, if they agree to it, it'd sound a wee yucky, and if they deny it.. who knows when I'm really really gone! ^_^ Actually this line is just some bit of a reminder to them.. Jangan slalu sangat gertak-gertak carik pasal.. kite tak tau ape jadi kat future nanti.. kan kann??
I don't know why I've been thinking so much lately about "if I'm gone.." Kinda scary thought, don't you think? And things have been a bit different, lately too.. Ekkekke!!! Okay okaay.. not going to talk about this one! ^_^

But I won't deny that I've had some good times..

Nak mamposs??!!
Pedih gile nih! Rambut masok mata.. I HATE!! Ade lak perasaan nak potong laie rambut nih.. But nanti tak jadi la plak the promise I made at the beginning of the year! Huuu~! Tapi sakiiiiiiiiiiiitt!! GrrRrrrRr! Rambut dah start panjang nihh.. but tahap yang tak besh.. takleh ke skip je part nih??!! Ekkekke!!
Oklaa.. saje je nak cakap Malay once in a while.. but still takleh cakap pure Malay.. ade aje words English.. Ekkeke!! Terok btoll..

Almost two months?
Had my Maths quiz today.. And I have to say.. I'd surely be surprised if I don't get sucky marks for it!! Ekkekke!! Well.. honestly, I think it shouldn't be that bad.. but I had my thoughts on something last night so I can't really get the things I read into my head.. Silly me.. but at least I don't feel like banging my head to the wall~! So that's a pretty good news.. ^_^ Oyy~! Thanks Ana for the Sugarcult songs~ Sugarcult.. yeahh.. I think I should start that.. a cult with peeps with problem controlling their sugar intake.. Ekkekke!! Thanks Anaaaa~!! Besh lagu nih.. Cayang Anaaa!! Menarik Sugarcult nihh.. Doesn't exactly have the kind of look I like, (ehehh~!) but I think he has a pretty neat voice! Ekkekke!! What's with gurls and guitar and guys that can sing, huhh?? Ekkekke!
O yeah.. actually feels a wee bit frustrated right here.. Tengok blogger orang manyak cantik-cantik and mine is like SO hampehh.. buat sakit ati jekk!! Tapi nak suhh buat tags, Wanie malaihh la plakk.. HTML tags usually gives me the headache.. Bodo..!

What's happening, here?
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Coz I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the stregth to stand today
'Coz I love you whether it's wrong or right,
and though I can't be with you tonight, you know my heart is by your side
* If You're Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield *

Why am I listening to this song again? Bluerrghh... Kenape ni? Kenape ni? Kenape nieeeeee???? I am feeling... I don't know!! Shit, I hate this!! Feels like my heart is somewhere else.. and I've been doing things without it's approval.. and it sucked really bad!! Life becomes so crappy.. so suddenly!! Urrghhh!! I HATE!!!!!!!! Help... feeling so helpless.. Why????
Why.. does my heart aches this day? Why.. does my hands tremble all of a sudden? Why.. can't I keep my mind straight? Why.. do I feel so lost??

My black colored nail..
Huuu.. somehow Maths seemed a wee bit interesting these days. Ekkekke!!
Sweating horribly right now.. been dancing around with the girls.. Ekkeke!! But it was loads of funnn!! ^_^ So yeah, sweating like a pig as I cough like my lungs is about to pop out anytime soon..
So many things in my head right now. And I can't seem to know why.. All of a sudden.. things.. got confusing again.

Tum chu.. ngo kwa chu lei..

Ribena
Andai cinta ada lagi
Pastinya bukan milik hatiku ini
~ Halaman Cinta - Misha Omar ~

Humm.. bored to almost-death again in Maths this morning.. Three hours of sleep is absolutely not enough for me! I really am going nuts!
Supposedly going for English at 12.. but.. I don't know yet.. since I'm going nuts.. I may be losing my senses as well.. Maybe I'll just skip class again 'coz I just can't think right anymore. Urrghhh!! Everything just frustrates me these days!!
I think I should stop right here a while.. I may start cursing like mad if I keep on continuing..

Why does my heart....?
Ekkekkeke!! Don't you think when family say something nice about what you did is just very verry cool? ^_^ I think it's usually family who won't say much about the things you do.. 'coz they'd usually expect plenty from you, and so you can't hear those puji pujian words from them often. Well, I don't know.. My family's like that! Bukan jenis puji-puji sangat orang.. Perasan tak? I did.. Ekkekke! Wanie punye puji-puji slalu bunyik cam jealousy. Ekkekke! Tak reti nak buat bunyik cam lain.. Fina tere laa~! Wanie tak biaselaa puji-puji ni. So yeah, I don't really get any 'congratulary-words' much from my dad.. but of course, I'm not really the child to be proud of~ Ekkekke! So I don't expect to get those often. Weii.. ape puji in English nihh??! Pening orang pikir.. grrRrRrR!
O yeah.. Nina puji sebab dia baru tengok webby and she thinks it's nice! Hehehihihikekekke!! Don't you think that was a stupid laugh??! Ekkekke!
Okay.. just had three hours of sleep.. can't understand why I woke up so early by my own. GrrRrrR!

And I still don't know what's puji in English!!
Ekkeke.. okay.. 8:43 = Nina said it's compliment!! Apsal la bengap sangat Wanie skarang nih?? Dahlaa MUET pon dapat Band 4 jekk!! Average.. Urrrghh!! Benci! Buat sakit ati btol..! Rase nak tendang diri sendrik!

My heart is crazy~!!
Yes, it is..
Anyways.. it's late at night.. I've been alone in my room for hours since Fina went back home since Amal took some days off 'coz his brother is getting married~! While Ana went out with Jai.. So yeah, me.. alone.. absolutely alone.. Get it?? And all f*cked up 'coz I have a demm crazy heart as a companion! Urrghh!! So, I've actually spent straight 5 hours watching a "Smallville and Gilmore Girls" marathon. Feels like I'm going off crazy in a bit..
My heart's stupid.. and I'm getting a pain in my head. Crap.. crap.. crap..!!
But anyhow.. I'd like to say big BIG BIGGG thanks to Kak Yan.. Hihhihik~! Kak Yan roxX!! Dah ade theme songs Meteor Garden!! Yippeeeee!!
Ever had a big question.. a very important question to you.. that you're dying to let out but you don't want to have the answer for it?? I think I'm having that right now. A question that is close to my heart.. that I'd love to let out.. to the big void where it just wanders around without being touched and harmed..

How can it be?

215=Bengong/ 3:20=Jealous am I?? Ekkekke!
Heehee~! Quite a nice day I'm having. O yeah.. gonna start from yesterday evening..!
Meteor Garden was neat! If you know what kind of 'girl' I am, sure you'd know why.. Things between Si and San Chai is going neat! Ekkekke!!
Anyways, then me and the girls went out to Malee at 11 something 'coz Fina, Sheeya and BJ just finished their Graphics work and all of us were pretty hungry and the food stall downstairs was closing. Somehow I fooled around a lot last night.. Ekkeke!!
Okehh! So we got back around 1.. (the electricity on our floor still suxX!!) and the other gurls but me and Ana were getting ready to go to sleep. So we spent about two hours watching Smallville, entah season brape ntah, yang pasti Whitney mati!! Poor Whitney.. what a lost of a good face on telly.. Ekkekke!! He looks real neat in uniform.. Or is it, most men in uniforms look neat? Ekkekek!! Anyways.. me and Ana weren't sleepy yet so we played T.A.T.U.'s live performance of Malchik Gei. Me and Ana memorize the intro now!! If you've seen the video before, you know which part I'm talking about.. ^_^ Ahhahha!! Kantoi lak.. tengok vid clip T.A.T.U yang agak kureng snonoh Ekkekek!!
And then me and Ana lay on the carpeted floor, and talked and talked.. Finally went to sleep at 5!! Ekkekek!! And we slept for 7 hours.. (we weren't having Graphics!!) And then went for Fundamental at 2.. ^_^ Some funny things happened in the studio.. but I won't be talking about it right here 'coz it's private! Ekkekke!!!
Afterwards me and Ana walked around MMU 'coz no one's in the room and we were bored. Hung a bit at the side of the road towards that tower.. really.. we were sitting at the side of the tarred road.. ^_^ And then came this lorry with four people.. Three of them were waving at us.. and they stopped right next to us and said, "Kenape dik, jatuh ke?" And then I said no and the driver nodded once and drove away.. (as the other three smiled) Ekkeke!! It was a pretty funny experince.. Caring nyer laa mamat tuh! Ekkekke!! And then we walked again, and got ourselves a chocolate sundae!!! Ekkeke!!
And now I'm in my room.. listening to my getting-boring playlist as I wait 'til 6 o'clock.. Meteor Garden!!!
Eyh, sape ade intro and ending theme for Meteor Garden.. tolong kasik bole taak?? Suka laa!
Eyh eyh.. don't you think it's kinda confusing when we talk about songs? Ekkekek!! I mean, every song tells a story..! It's just a case if it's telling YOUR tale.. Ehhehe! I'm talking on my behalf.. 'coz I've been posting on a lot of songs.. but do you think it means that I just like the song, or did I post it 'coz it was telling one of MY story?? Ekkekke!! Pandai pandai korang laa camner nak interpret! ^_^

Current song : How Soon Is Now by T.A.T.U.
~I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does~

Bengong
Eyh Fariz! Kan dah.. I've been listening to BBMak since last night!! Bengong..
Going out in a bit.. and then I'll be having Maths later this afternoon. I wonder if anything's good to do after that.. until 6 that is.. 'coz that's when Meteor Garden will be on!! Ekkekke!! Very silly indeed. I hated to miss any part of the drama that I restrained myself to go to the toilet around that time.. Heeheee~!!!

Morning..
Odd huh.. the night when I thought I should get a longer sleep, I woke up at the middle of the night. And I just watched my two roomies sleep, and finally decided to turn my computer on. And somehow my hands kept clicking on slow slow songs.. bluekk..! So here I am.. staring on my computer screen.. listening to slow songs.. right in the middle of the night..
AaaAah..~ can't wait for my songs to finish the download. Got excited with Fina in the afternoon 'coz we talked about Regine Velasquez' song, In Love With You.. Ekkekke~! The download is half finished! So I should have it by tomorrow..
O yeah, been clicking around for Orlando Bloom.. He's gonna be in Disney's Pirates Of The Carribean this July alongside Johnny Depp! Yeayy~! Gonna see Orly much sooner than December! Ekkekke! And supposedly, there's also another movie he's starring in.. Ned Kelly is it? He's going to be in it with.. get this, Heath Ledger!! Ekkekke!! And just this afternoon I saw that clip with him in 10 Things I Hate About You.. That part when he sang Julia Stiles Can't Take My Eyes Off You.. Heeehee~!

Miss You More
There's so many reasons that I find
To run to you
Coz there's so little lovin'
In my life now I'm awake

And thinkin' about it
I want things back
How they used to be
Coz theres no way around this
Nothing good comes easily

So much between us
And we both know that it's wrong
So I keep on waiting
'til I'm back where I belong

So here I am, all by myself
Thinkin' of you, nobody else
There's a feelin' inside, and as hard as I try
It just won't go away
Are you findin' it hard, all on your own?
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one
With the love that I need
And I miss you more each day

So many feelings
emotion's running away with me
Coz its you I believe in
And our love can run so deep

So much between us
And we both know that it's wrong
Now I keep on waiting
'til I'm back where I belong
(Back where I belong)

So here I am, all by myself
Thinkin' of you, nobody else
There's a feelin' inside, and as hard as I try
It just won't go away
Are you findin' it hard, all on your own?
Having to face each night alone
Knowing you are the one
With the love that I need
And I miss you more each day

So I keep on waiting
'til I'm back where I belong
Back where I belong

BBMak

Dizzy..
Demm my cough's getting worse. Been laughing and shouting too much.. Urrghhh!! Can't even sing a phrase without coughing.. suXXX!!!!!
Anyways, went to Street Mall for dinner this evening. Saw that Korean drama on TV3. oOo yeahh~! I did managed to see Meteor Garden. Gosh! I really like the drama.. I mean, the thought of a girl, surrounded by four guys just seem appealing to me. And it's just interesting to see whether San Chai will end up to be with Si or Zhi Lei. I kinda like Zhi Lei.. but Si was pretty sweet to San Chai.. "I like you so much that I can't even understand it. And it doesn't matter if you run away, 'coz I'll be running after you.." ~AaaAAahh!! Demm.. I am so girlish!!

Hudson's, you're such a buddy! Ekkeke!

Ekkekeke..!!
Had a pretty boring afternoon, so me and Ana saw the old Final Destination. The one with Devon Sawa. Ekkekke~! Very funny.. I mean, it's super gruesome and stomach-aching, but it's funny when me and Ana kept screaming about at some of those scenes. 'Coz when it's one of those gruesome parts, I turned around, and Ana would turn as well.. and then I'd shout at her to watch it, and she said she don't want to, and we kept shouting at each other.. Ana tengok laa!! - Tak naak! - Tengoklaa!! - Tak naaak!! Ekkekek!! And now I'm coughing horribly.. Huwaaa.. +_+ Sakit.. sakit..

A change of decisions..
Honestly, when I came back last night, I said to myself.. "Heck, I don't think this week is going to be interesting to be talked about, so maybe I won't have to open up the blogger page.." Hehhe~! And then last night, I waited 'til Gilmore Girls was finished before I came back - all about the telly! And anyways, I'm not going to talk about Gilmore Girls though.. I actually have my thoughts on the ending of Smallville last night. Kinda nice y'know.. when Clark and Lana screamt right in the middle of the field.. Hey, I think I want that.. I think someday I'd want someone who would scream with me when things goes wrong.. Ekkekek!! I'm surrounded by positive positive people that keeps telling me that things will turn out okay and that stuff only work once every 20 times of sayings..! So maybe.. later.. I'm gonna find me a friend that won't put 'temporary-happiness' in my head, and just assist me in letting my heart out.. Aaaah~! That'd be nice..
Ekkekek!! I think it's been such a long long time since I let myself have a nice thought in my head. ^_^
Weekend was boring.. I was down with a fever.. slept most of the day.. but I managed to get my silly trailer done! Honestly, not so proud of it.. I think it's very.. entahlaa! Maybe I expected too much from myself.. and then again, I had that fever~! And I'm not really cured from it. Slept for just an hour last night.. how d'you expect me to get recovered! My chest hurts from coughing too much.. Stoooopid~!! But anyhow.. Just liked the way my dad said his pesanan to me last night. "Kalau tak sihat, call.." Ekkekke!! I know.. that's nothing really.. but I'm feeling more and more attached to home these days.. Why aah?? But right now I'm feeling the obligation to make my parents happy.. why aah? Never had this feeling before.. Selama ni 'lantak' aje.. nak suka.. elok, tak suka.. naseb! Ekekkek!! I've changed..

Aaaaaa~chooo!!

Me no comprende Englise
Bluekk~! The test was sucky.. My mistake, as always.. So I don't feel too bad about that.. I'm too used to making mistakes.. ^_^
Oh well.. don't know why.. not really in a mood to say anything much.. Gonna get back home today..

Goodbye~*

Can you help explain ME?
Staring right into Ana's computer screen. I have nothing at all in my head.. Just something rather different and hurtful in my heart which is unexplainable. It's one thing to keep something inside of you. It's another not to know what's burried in there. So I'm left here, asking and wondering to myself.. for I've been confused for too long. How I wish I can rip my ribs open and let out everything I have in there. These feelings I have is killing me slowly. Couldn't tell how it got this way.. things just happen, supposedly.
Reaching for something that I'm not sure of. Hoping in something I couldn't even imagine. Wishing on the unseen stars.. Can't seem to explain anything. Why does everything looks so hollow from the corner of my eye? Where have those lights gone? Why are they replaced with such dark shadows? What have happened to the happy endings? Why am I having my thoughts on this?
For my thoughts have changed.. for my feelings has changed.. For I can't tell who's mind is this anymore.. For I can't tell who's feelings I have here.. For I not know who's this person anymore.. For everything had been different..

Crap~!! I hate this f*ckin' feelings!!

Still Burning by Sixpence None The Richer

You are the burning
The flame that is turning
My smoldering ash into a bird
So stay close my brother
I couldn't stand the loss
You are the bridge of action
I need you to help me cross
I need you to help me

So when you break,
My arms I'll take hold of you
I know your heart is a hand that takes hold of me

My hand that is breaking
Is the hand that is making
All the dead things in me grow
A gift of a holy loss
This burning at the dross

So when you break
My arms I'll take hold of you
I know your heart is a hand that takes hold of me

Why do you set out to break the one thing
The one thing I have to give
It's hard to believe that I could
That I should begin again
But I know your heart is a hand

So when I break
Your arms you'll take hold of me
You know my heart is a hand that takes hold of you
So when you break
My arms I'll take hold of you
I know your heart is a hand that takes hold of me
So when you break
My arms I'll take hold of you
I know your heart is a hand that takes hold of me

Tomorrow..
My oh my.. tomorrow's gonna be Valentine's Day!! Should I feel anything? Of course I should! I am missing something this year.. I'm gonna miss those chocolates!! Huwaaaa!! I really miss Valentine's while I was with my friends.. pardon yourself, I've never celebrated Valentine's with a "certain special someone".. Just my good good friends. I remember those days.. Used to spend a whole load of money on chocs and sweets and me and my friends would give it away to our friends. Hihhihik~! It's usually fun.. Remembered that time when I bought a boxful of Fererro and printed some Valentine's note and stuck it on each of the chocolate and I pass them around.. heehee~! Remembered I once spent RM40 for some loads of chocs.. and remembered that time when Musz bought me a box of those small small chocs.. Ekkekke~! Gosh I love V-Day!! Classes on V-Day are usually more relaxing.. everyone in a pretty happy mood.. munched on chocs while the teachers teach.. And usually the teacher also asks chocolates and sweets from us! Hehhehe~!
Huwaaaaaaa!! I am missing Valentine's Day this year!!! I HATE~!! Such sad pathetic months I'm having.. Urghh!!

Being true to myself.. hope you're doing the same..

NEW QUIZ!!
Hey heyy you peeps~! If you have nothing else better to do.. and you just feel like wasting your time... go ahead and do this new quiz!
The main motive is to see if you think the way that I do.. which means, the less marks you get.. the smaller chances that you're going to turn out like me.. Ekkekeke!! So.. good luck~! Ekkeke!!
Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Hik~!
Funny.. just spent some time reading my past entries in the archive.. And there's this time in August, I wrote the title.. "I still pick my friends over YOU" and at the end I said "but what if YOU are my friend?" Ekkekke~! I don't know.. it's just funny to remember those old stuff lah!
Oklaa.. I think I'm going to lie down in a bit. Feeling hungry though.. huuu.. help~!
Jom makaaaannn!

when you and I both know this is the end~*

Addicted again..
Heeeeeeelllp~!! Mama really shouldn't let me brought her set of eye-shadows over here.. I'm addicted to it!! But of course, I'm just wearing the black-colored one. I have to say.. I like~~! Heehee~! And even my friends are toying with it. Hehh~!
Went to class this morning.. 10 am, to find that there was no class! Chehh~! What a waste of energy. Sempat lambai 'Ms Universe' kat Bahijah and Yusrah who were in their class along with Ana and Fina. English at twelve.. kinda boring.. I don't know.. things are just different~!
Pagi tadi Wanie bodo.. pegi banjirkan the whole kitchen~!! Papa suh Wanie pasang air for the washing machine.. so I did! Lepas mandi I turned on the tap, and totally forgot about it while I was getting ready to get back here. Huhuuu~!! Kesian Papa kena lap sumer.. Huwaaaa~!! Nape Wanie bangang sangat nih?!! BENCI!! I am such a klutz and I hate that!! I wish I can throw away half of me for a week!!

I'm not here...

Together means disaster..?
Hey heyy.. I feel different today. I wonder why. Have been staring into space this day.. I wonder why.
Humm.. I think I'll be updating my sitey next Monday. So 'til then, you can just read this blog or stare at my face at my main page.. Ekkekke~! But of course, why would anyone want to do that?! Well, actually my site is quite ready to be uploaded but I can't get my computer back here in MMU right now. Not this week at least, 'coz my sister is getting fond of it - just had Sims Vacation installed so she's going addicted to it.. ekkeke~!
O yeah, thanks Ana Fina~~ for letting me use your computers.. Hihihik! Lucky me for having two great roomies!!
Oh well, things have been.... different these days. How, I don't know. Things are just.. unexplainable..

Falling into nothingness yet again.. stooopid~!

Tuesday - February 11th 2003

Why would you want to talk to me
When you know that you won't listen
Why would you want to see me today
When you know that you're going away

That's what you always do
That's what you do to me
You say all those nice things
And made me feel all kinds of feelings
And when you had me there
You turn around and run away

I've tried that myself
I've tried to leave you, for a change
But whenever I lifted my feet
Seems like I'm hurting even more

I've been wondering ever since
'Coz I need to breathe on my own
Why did you do all this to me?
Why did you say all that to me?
Have you been lying since then?
Were you lying when you told me that you cared?

Seems like you've never cared
You hurt me even when we're apart
Imagine when we're together
Dark clouds 'round my world, rain and thunder

'Coz I just can't forget
How much I actually care
Even that it hurts me so
I think I just want you to know
That I'm glad for that one moment
I thought I knew you, but no more..

Heehee~!
Been watching my friends going all silly.. while I used Fina's laptop.. Thanks Fina~!! Slop~slop~ Ekkekke..! Anyways, nothing much has been going on right here.. Pretty slow day, to be honest. Went to Graphics to be embarassed by Mr Neo. But I have to say, it doesn't affect me as much it affects Fina.. Huuu~! Of course, she's not used to being embarassed in public.. Ehhehhe..
O yeah, funny thing happened.. saw someone who was wearing the same shirt as I was wearing today.. Hehhhehe!! Though, mine is red while his was dark blue.. ^_^ Naseb laa baik
Okaaaay, I think I better be off now.. have a nice Aidiladha peeps~!

For I have been feeling this for so long

Demm tired!!! (February 10th)
Huwaaaaa!! I think my whole body is falling apart.. +_+ Had a pretty busy day, today..
The Fundamental lecture was nothing.. I mean, nothing much tiring about sitting in the theatre, making silly jokes with my friends. ^_^ And then, for the Creative Expression, we had to do this stretching movements which was pretty torturing, considering I haven't been stretching myself out for months and months! It hurts just a bit when we did it, but now.. the pain has multiplied! Huwaaaa!! I have to say.. the thingy for CE was kinda fun.. it wasn't all that bad.. rolling about on the carpet was something new, so I have to say that it was pretty amusing! ^_^
Then me and Ana went straight to English.. (supposedly we were late, but Ms Zaiha got in even more late! Hehhe..) It was nothing much.. had to do some poetry exercises..
And got back to our rooms.. Thanks Ana, for letting me use your computer! (Mine is still at home..) Maybe I'll get my computer back in MMU on Thursday.. Gotta stay for Friday since I have that English test! Bluerrgh! How I wish I could get back home on Thursday.. I wanna enjoy my Valentine's!!!
So anyways.. around 2:40 my sister picked me up for lunch and a game of bowling. God!! My hands are trembling! Haven't touched the ball for the rest of last year, and God!! It's so *demm* heavy! I do believe my arms are falling off my shoulders.. +_+ I won though.. with a pretty pathetic average.. 87 lahh~! Menyedihkan! But I managed to do 3 spares in 2 games! Ekekkeke!
Anyways, after the painful game of bowling, me and Dida finally got home.. spent the rest of the afternoon composing ringtones ('coz I was filled with BOREDOM!) and yeahh, went out again around 7:30. Spent the night in Petaling Street, can you believe it?? That was my first visit to the place, and I have to say.. it was a nice 'look'.. everything was all around you..! ^_^ I'm SUPER DUPER tired and in a HUGE amount of pain, but I guess it wasn't so bad.. Got myself a pretty neat shirt! (Though, Nina didn't really approve it.. heh~!)
Well.. gotta get my rest now if I want to feel better in the morning...

Current song : Sincerely Me by A New Found Glory
~ So can you see.. you're seeing less of me, darling ~

Funny really...
Ever thought of this..? When you never had something, you were perfectly fine, and you don't think you'll ever want it. But when you had the taste of it.. when you got that 'first time'.. and it was no longer with you anymore, you missed it and believe that you're better with it than you're without.. Hihhi.. remind me not to get that 'first time' again 'coz it has turned sucky, now..! Bluerrghh!
Had a pretty neat morning.. but I'll be going in a bit.. me and my sis are going out!
Owwh okay.. later~~!!

Thanks Ana.. you roxX!!

Some Things I Hate About You...
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind
I hate you so much that makes me sick, that even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you made me cry
I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close,
not even a lil' bit, not even at all...

huuhuuu~!

Hamekk kauu! A whole week's worth of posts! HAHHAHA~!!

Friday - January 31st 2003 24 Hours
In about 24 hours, Nina and Jasmin will be legally united.. Huu.. The nikah will be tomorrow and the kenduri is on Sunday. Heehee~! It's supposed to be fun!! 'Coz Papa said that there'll be ais kepal!! Ever heard of it? Well, if you've read LAT comics before, you should have heard it. It's an ice ball with syrup and gula melaka. Somewhat similar to ABC but this one, you'd have to hold it with your hands and if you didn't eat the ice, just sucked on the syrup.. you can throw the ice to your friends!! HAHHAH!! Well, ais kepal is no longer in this generation. But I've experienced it some years ago when we held a family reunion at kampung! Very neat indeed! I ate a whole total of six, that day.. and my lips went numb and red! Ekkekeke!! But it was a hell of fun! ^_^ But now I'm worried if I'll be too busy for the ais kepal.. after all, my job will be taking pictures for the family! Huuhuuu.. at least I won't have to do the hard works! Weeeeee~!!
Anyways, finally got my contact lenses on! Stupid stupid.. been trying since yesterday and demm it's hard!! Urrgh! It was so frustrating!! Good thing I finally managed to get it on.. (with much much trials and tears shed.. Huu!) And I have to say.. it feels mighty weird!
Aaaah! Can't wait 'til Sunday and see who'll be there!! Weee~!! Gosh, I haven't been excited as much as this for weeks! ^_^

Hope it'll be gr8!

Monday - February 3rd 2003 Ekkekkeke!! Fine as always..
I've been reading old messages, listening to old songs, old notes, old.. old stuff that I've avoided this last month.. and guess what? I laughed real hard!! EKKEKEK!! Geli geli tali perutku KIKKIKIKI!! And I finally listened to this one song from the beginning to the end! Hehh.. I used to listen to it just halfway, and now that I've listen to it full.. I laugh again!! Ekkekeke!! Ape laa kelakar sangat.. Gosh! I can't explain why I can look into life so positively. Honestly, really reaaaaaally honestly.. sometimes I drag about old unhappy stuff 'coz I think I'm abnormally too happy most of the time. Ekkekke!! Sorry.. I guess that's plain me! 'Coz if I don't drag.. people would think that I'm too fine!! I do need attention people!! Ikkikiki!! So yeah, I'm totally fine after reading those old things.. but when I listen to some new songs along with those old notes, my heart aches.. Why? Ekkekke.. Very weird heart and mind, I have.. ^_^
Nina's wedding went fine.. to know more, you can click around my site once I've upload it. Wrote the update in whole 3 hours!! It took that long.. hehhe.. 'coz I had to edit the pictures and stuff.. Heehee~ kampung Wanie besh kan, korang? Ekkekke.. perasan..
Hihhi.. o yeah, now that I've got my contact lense.. I have to say.. besh aa main mata!! Ekkekke!! Though, now that the metal piece in front of my face is off.. it gets obvious when I look into people. They'd notice it immediately.. Tak besh sangat part tu.. but paling tak besh, kalau orang start pandang balek, I'll turn away.. huhhuu.. I lost! Chit! Takut kot.. There's that saying which goes dari mata.. turun ke hati.. Huhuuu.. kalau turun ke hati tu, susah lerRrrR..

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?

Lost In You by Ash

Lying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And you're far away, but you are always on my mind

I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do
I'm troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true
And it's times like these when I am dying to speak to you
I'm dying to get through, I'm dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, I'm dying to speak to you.

Staring at the wall, I sink inside
I think about it all, I get caught up in my life
I can't think straight, because it's tearing up my mind

I feel like I'm on fire, nothing I can do
I'm troubled with doubt, though I know it is not true
And it's times like these when I am dying to speak to you
Dying to get through, dying to get through

The more that I think how I need you
The more that I think, the more it seems true
And now it means more that I ever meant it to
Ever meant it to

Lying wide awake under strange skies
Wanting to call you, but it is late at night
And you're far away, but you are always on my mind

You are always on my mind

Tuesday - February 4th 2003 Always on my mind..
It rained pretty hard yesterday. Now I've understood myself better! If the rain starts while I'm inside, I'll get mellow and pretty down. But if it starts while I'm outside, I'll get pretty hyper about it! ^_^ 'Coz I felt a wee bit mellow yesterday. And it kinda sucked 'coz I plainly hate feeling that way.. 'Coz I have this freakish thought that kinda stuck in my head right now. Sheesh!! So anyways... wondering, does anybody else felt different when the rain starts? Or do you guys just feel the same? Some people might have their thoughts on old memories, I know.. hihhik!
Humm.. funny when you know what the people around you say about you. Someone once said something to me and it got me thinking. Am I really what the person told me?? And then, weird enough.. I tried to live up to people's expectations constantly.. which was absolutely ridiculous 'coz it's tearing me apart!! So.. I made a note to myself.. if anyone ever said what they think of me again in the future.. just laugh it up, and forget about it! Ngee~!
Heehee~! I don't know why I can't take this silly smile off my face! Now I'm wondering why I smile a lot! I mean, what's up with me?? I even smile to strangers lahh!! Bahaye sungguh! Someone dare me!! I'm gonna try not to smile for one day.. Heehee~!
I noticed I haven't been talking about the things in my head for a while now, 'aight? .......(thinking)........ AH~HA!! Since I'm listening to Celine Dion's All By Myself.. let's talk about being single!! Ekkekekke!! I wonder why you peeps are still reading to this silly blog! ^_^
Okehh.. having the experience of NOT being single, I'll try my best to express how I feel about everything, wokie! Ngee~! (This ought to be interesting, since it's usually times like this when I discover new things about me! ^_^) Humm.. I say.. at the age of 18.. it's kinda pathetic if you don't even have a single experience of NOT being single.. (no offence, but this is what I think!) Well, not really pathetic, y'know.. But.. this is your teen years.. you SHOULD be experiencing loads of stuff! ^_^ This is the years when you ought to make mistakes and still have the time to make it right. Just imagine.. if you're 25, and just had your first love.. it could go on for two years.. 27, so you should think about marriage by that time, 'aight? And so it happens that you just noticed that you can't really live with 'em! They actually annoy you half of the time you were together, and your partner has a bad breath that you just can't imagine yourself kissing 'em.. ekkeke!! SO! 27.. just three years before you hit 30. Dah tua laa makcik pakcik oii.. While in this teen years, it's okay to make mistakes! If you lost interest in your first relationship, it's okay! You'll try and take things slowly in the second one. ('coz I believe the fact that making things 'mysterious' would make you anticipating for tomorrow.. new things to discover!) If your dad forced you to break up, it's okay! Don't tell your next relationship to him! Ekkekek!!
Understanding a relationship is MIGHTY hard, I'm telling you. Takes up a LOT of responsible, and that's why I think being single is not that bad! When you're in a relationship.. you'd probably worry about silly silly stuff. "Where did he/she went to?" - "Am I making him/her happy enough?" - "I wonder what he/she saw in me.." Those things will only get you insane! Hahhaha!! Trust, honesty, compromise are some of the things you need to make a relationship work. And you also need to throw some ego away and have that will to make things work, no matter what. Trust - jealousy is a very dangerous thing.. stupid also lah! If you keep questioning your partner with whom they've been going out or the people they're talking to, it'll only make them annoyed with your insecurities..! Bluerrgh! But I have to say, it kinda suxX to see your partner talking to another opposite sex and you had to tell yourself that he/she's yours and not that other person.. Ekkekek! Honesty - which comes hard if you lie a LOT through out your life.. Heehee~ Honesty is important to build up that trust. Compromise - Ekkekke! I'm really bad at this.. not ready to lose just yet. Ikkikiki! Well, the main point is you win some, you lose some. If you keep winning, meaning your partner is always the one who had to compromise, they'd get tired and fed-up of you.. ^_^ Anti-ego - Ekkekke!! Another one I can't give away just yet.. ^_^ Being ego in a relationship is absolutely horrible! You really should talk on what you feel and not surpressing it to yourself. You're gonna have to get use to saying sorry, telling your partner that they're neat - the things that made you fall for 'em.. those embarassing embarassing stuff!! The will to make it work of course.. if you really.. err.. love your partner, you won't let people tell you that they're not good enough for you. If your friends tell you that.. well, go to h*ll with them! Ekkekek!! If you have the will.. no matter what happens to the two of you, it'll turn out for the better in the end.. ^_^ Gedik aah Wanie!
Humm.. good! I was just reminded how fussy a relationship can be.. Maybe it's good that I'm not in one at the moment. ^_^ Single=worry less, carefree, you don't have to think about others but yourself!, you get to flirt around - bukan main mata ngan sorang jek! Ekkekkee!!
But of course, once you had that experience of having someone by your side.. you'd feel a bit different. ^_^
Okay.. okay.. Wanie dah takmo cite dah! Nanti kang terlepas menda-menda mengarut ekkekek!!

frozen, blocked, stone

Wednesday - February 5th 2003 Trendsetter? = JOKE
Have you ever.. stared at something for so long, without realizing what's really you're looking at 'coz you had some things in your head? Well, I kinda hate that. It usually happens to me when I look into certain pictures. It's like.. somehow my thoughts wander off into the day the picture was taken.. and I remember exactly how I felt. It's really weird, sometimes I just stared at myself! And remember who took the picture for me.. with whom I'm with.. and the way that I felt.. it's just freakish!
Oh well, a boring boring day.. suddenly reminded with the things my sister said. With Nina already married.. Dida analized me some days ago.. 'Coz I said how I like things planned out, but I don't want to do the planning.. Like.. If I don't feel like doing things as the way I always do it (total mess), there's always a plan prepared.. and then she said. "Owh.. so you like boring guys, then!" Ekkekke! Whateva.. and then she told me that I should be more matured (huwaaaa!!), which then I just laughed 'coz I'm not ready to give that up yet. I mean, huuu.. no no no.. I am SO unprepared to think maturely. Maybe I'll give it up if my next relationship ends with the guy saying "I can't stand you! You are so immature!!" Ekkekke!! Until then, I'm staying the way I am. ^_^ Though, I have to say.. thinking maturely shouldn't bring me troubles, 'aight? But heyy! I still clap my hands when I'm happy, whine when Papa won't get me a glass of drink.. ekkekek!.. and that's SO kiddies stuff! ^.^ And then Nina got this book on how to bring up a child.. and honestly.. I am SO SO SOOO not ready for that! I looked into some pages of it, and it freaks me out!! So, Papa.. don't worry! Wanie takkan menggatal nak kawen dalam mase 2-3 tahun ni, okay! Hihhik~! Really can't imagine myself having a baby.. Can't even imagine Nina having a baby.. aAAaAaAaAa!! These thoughts are really freaking me out!! Helllppp!! I need to think about some other stuff! Huwaaa!
Okay, reminded about the Q I gave to Nina just now. "Would you want your kid to be somewhat like me?" Hehhehek! Thank God she said no! I don't want my nephew/niece to be like me! Even I don't want my child to be like me! It's horrendous!! Catastrophic! Though.. I do want those future kids experience as much fun as I am having in this life.. Aaaah~! I really like the way I think - 'coz I don't think that much.. Ekekkeke!!
Y'know, some years ago me and my sisters got into a conversation.. When any of us has children.. If me and Nina feels like our children needs disciplinary training, we should send them to Aunt Dida.. Ekkeke!! Dida's always the strict and perfectionist one. She like things in order. That ought to teach the kids. O yeah, they can also learn to cook if they're with Dida. If the kids is neat, but needs a lil' cheering up.. they should come to me, and I'll find a way to entertain them and they could clean up my house in return.. Ekkeke!! 'Coz I'm the sloppy sister!! Yee~ha! Everything I do always turn out to be messy! Ekkekek!! While with Nina, they can find peace and quiet.. Heehee~!
I am so glad that I have two incredible sisters who are able to put up with a spoiled brat like me.. I am also glad that I am ME, even though I know I turned out to be a spoiled brat.. Ekkekekke!!

Current song : All The Things She Said by T.A.T.U
~ I'm in serious sh**, I feel totally lost ~

Thursday - February 6th 2003 What I have in my mind..
I'm thinking.. as honest as I get, I've never been truly honest.. I just realize.. even when I tell people how I 'really' feel, there's something even more 'real' inside of me. I wasn't lying, was I? I was only leaving out half of the truth.. but I didn't lie, right? Well, I did lie.. but not to others.. just myself. 'Coz I've been wondering, what if I tell people how I really feel? What if I let people into my deepest thoughts? What if I let you know what I really have in my heart and mind?? Odd how sometimes, it's somebody else who made you realize on what you really have in your thoughts. Pernah tak? Well, if you haven't, maybe you're just too thick-headed that you refuse to see that. Hehh~! I've had some of those days and I have to say that it's pretty amusing. When someone actually hinted on something, and it took you a moment before you go "Aaaah~!" Hihhihi!
Humm.. my hair is getting longer lah! When did I cut it? December or January, ekk? Well, I vowed to myself not to cut my hair this whole year. I'd like to see how long can my hair get in 12 months.. ^_^
Going to leave this entry with something I had my thoughts on.. Heehee~! No matter how confused you can get by yourself, it's YOU who knows yourself the best. People may tell you what's wrong and right.. but it's YOU who has the rights to judge whether it's wrong or right.. In other words.. start listening to your heart!! Ekkekeke!!

Current song : Nobody Knows by Tony Rich Project
~ ... but me ~

Friday - February 7th 2003 My heart, your heart, everybody's heart!
Hahhaa!! Don't you think it's kinda obvious that my entry these days keep telling you peeps to take note on what your heart is telling you? Ekkekek!! I just noticed that I've been sending the same messages over and over again. Sorry.. I guess it's tiring me out, that I'm surrounded by people who listens to their head too much. Ekkekke! Down from my dad, to my good friends. It's like.. they don't know what they want anymore! Or.. they know what they want, but they think too rationally to make it happen! Ekkekke! Pandai btoll Wanie cakap! To those whom concerned.. ask yourself what you really want!! Your heart knows it.. forget your head 'coz it's BORING! Ekkekke! Rules are meant to be broken!! Ekekkeke!! ^_^ Apelaa Wanie ajar nih.. adik-adik jangan ikut nasihat akak ni ye.. tak baik untuk kesihatan. A bukan aaa.. A untuk Appeton! Ngeeee~!

Sunday - February 9th 2003 Missed me?
This entry was written very very late at night. Huuu.. my head is spinning. Anyways, gonna have class tomorrow. God knows how lazy I am for that, but I'll go anyways.. +_+
Can't wait 'til the pictures are developed! Don't know why I'm so crazy about photos these days. Gonna show you peeps when I get my computer over. I don't think I'll bring it back this week. I can see no point from it, but who knows.. I might change my mind in this few hours - like I always do in any other decision-making of mine. Huu~!
Got back from Penang today. It was a pretty nice trip - considering that we stayed at a really neat hotel, with a big dinner and breakfast! Ahhahha~!! Gendang gendut tali kecapi.. kenyang perut senang hati~ Ekkekke!! Well, it's just neat! Imagine.. one huge family - 40, I think.. stayed in one same hotel.. and had some neat activities together.. ^_^ Pity for those other kid residence, 'coz my cousins conquered the kids' pool.. Ekkekke!! Also, imagine the bus, with only 17 adults (including the driver and my two sisters.. note: I don't think myself as an adult.. ^_^) It was a neat trip.. tiring, but very neat indeed. O yeah, why did we went to Penang? Bertandang! A week after Nina's wedding at our kampung.. it's Jasmin's turn to have us over at his place.
Okehh! Should get some rest..

dizzy, confused, falling

Addicted!
Gosh.. I do need to do something more constructive! I think I've been listening to Daniel Bedingfield's too much!! Yikes~! Tapi takpe.. Falling in love with this song..! So humm.. thanks to WOW! Ekkeke! 'Coz I first heard it from that station. I'm waiting for myself getting super bored with this song, 'coz it's been looping since last night (when I first got it) Hihhihi! SO addicted!
AaaAaAaaa!!! My hands trembling!! I really don't know why... Gotta run~! My sisters are coming in thirty minutes!
Happy holidays peeps! Hope you'll have a great one!!

Miss me!! Ekkekeke!!

The things I missed..
Why didn't anyone tell me that we're learning poetry in English!!!! Or I wouldn't be skipping my class as much! GrrRrrR..! Anyways, I had a pretty enjoyable English class.. Ms Zaiha discussed on that coy lady poem. I think it's nice! Ngee~!
Going back today, I guess.. wondering if I should bring back the computer.. Berat aaa.. cam tak larat nye nak bawak! Tapi nanti Wanie rindu laguuu... One week is 168 hours!! 10 080 minutes!! That looong!! I'll miss my computer Very very verry much!!
Can't wait to see Dida again. ^_^ And something interesting is coming up later this afternoon! Ekkekeke!! Okay, gotta relax.. Don't want to get so excited right now.. ^_^ Hummm.. hope Dida won't get here too soon!

Hope the weekend will great!

What Colour Is Your Aura?
"We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Gold vibe. You couldn't ask for a better color — a glistening gold aura is as good as it gets. A lively blend of yellow and orange, gold people are happy, playful, energetic, sensitive, and generous. Always up for adventure, you'd give a friend in need the shirt off your back. You're spiritual, too — all those halos in old paintings aren't colored gold by coincidence. Almost childlike in the carefree, joyful way you live your life, you're popular and outgoing with your large circle of friends. Chances are you're so full of light and energy that you sometimes find it hard to sit still and chill out. Instead, you're constantly looking for excitement, no matter how risky or impulsive the occasion. Happy-go-lucky and always laughing, you truly are as good as gold."

This quizes are fun!! I'm addicted to themm.. Eeeeeek~!

Gettin' all jiggy!!
Hihhihik! This is nice!! A very neat morning indeed! First, now I have Daniel Bedingfield's If You're Not The One!! YEAYYY~!! SO SO SO SO SOOOOO happy!! 'Coz I just love this song, I don't know why! Ekkekek!! And then I got to listen to some guitar-playing/practisin'!! Hihhihik! It's been such a long loong while since I last heard 'live' guitars.. ^_^
But now.. I turn back to listening to my currently-loved song!! ^.^

If You're Not The One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
but I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
and I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it , I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it,
I dont understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Keeping my fingers crossed
Oh please please let my song finish the download! Anyways, still waiting for Bedingfield's song to complete the download. At least now i have Dixie Chick's Landslide!! I don't know why but I think the song sounds perfectly nice! ^_^ Okaaay, I was hoping too much just now that I just spent some minutes eyeing on the downloading rate.. Akakkaka!
O yeah.. been wasting my time doing silly quizes through the night. Honestly, I have nothing else better to do than just that! And since last week, I actually did 24 quizes! Heehee~! I think it's neat! Why, of course everything silly appeals to me. ^_^ What's neat, was in What is Your True Color quiz, I got red!! Ngee~! And this is what it said about red - the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do. Ekkekke! And according to What's Your Monster Match quiz.. I got to be a witch! Akkakaka!! Amusing indeed... ^_^
Humm anyways.. ever tried to help someone but you just don't know how?? Gosh.. I wish I'm good at talking as much as I think I am at writing.. ^_^ I think it's just crappy when you have to stay quiet 'coz you're afraid that things will get worse if you start talking.. Huuuu.. I hate feeling like this! I tried to start.. but it ended with me.. staring at the person 'coz my head just went stupidly blank! Urrghhh!! Benciii..

Landslide

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
And the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky--what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin'...ocean tides?
Can I, handle the seasons of my life?

Well I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder; children get older
I'm getting older too.... well

Well I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder;children get older
I'm getting older too....

So, take this love...take it down.
Oh, if you climb a mountain and you turn around
if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills...
well, the landslide will brought it down;
and if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills...
well maybe, landslide will bring you down....

Dixie Chicks

Bencinyerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
I hate this.. sad really.. my two good friends couldn't make to Nina's wedding. Benciiiiiiiiii!! I was so looking forward to see them again, and now they're not coming. Huwaaaaaa!! Tak ske la camnihh!!

Hit me.. any more bad news for me?

*faints*
Enormously tired!! Stayed up the whole last night doing my Fundamental with Ana. Honestly, I think I should stop slacking around. Huuu~! I mean, I was supposed to be under a huge amount of stress last night, but I didn't even quicken my pace. Apelaaa..! And last night was really hilarious! Sheeya was like, a whole new person! She was really reaaaaally 'dirty'!! And I mean, REALLY!!! She turned into a total pervert in just one night! It's like.. even if the pervert-ness of Fina, BJ and myself combined together.. it still won't match up with Sheeya last night!!! Ekkekekke!! Diam-diam ubi berisi.. Air yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya.. Pen merah.. pen biru, you marah.. I love you! Ekkekekkee!! Well, yesterday was tiring 'coz we all did the Fundamental and laughed too hard, too much... Ngeeee~*
Very tired at this moment.. but I have to say that I am totally happy and relieved 'coz I really am fine!! Ikkikikiki!! I'm so glad that I am who I am.. but I still would like to switch my heart, some days.. ^_^

relieved, glad, happy (indeed!)

Ouch!!
Weird.. I'm supposed to feel relieved by now.. but somehow I feel hurt. Kenapakahh?? Hihhihik! But I'm fine.. as always! ^_^ Ye lahh kan.. sumer orang ade problem.. It's just a matter of how much time you want to spend to think about it. Kan? Lagipun.. I always feel that other people has larger problems than mine. 'Coz I have this very childish mind, and I seem to make small matters HUGE, so honestly.. I can't tell if I actually have a situation. So, as far as I know.. I'm not having any REAL HUGE problem.. so I'm fine! ^_^
O yeah, I've finally uploaded my webby!! HAHAHHAH~!! Setelah sekian lama..!
Oklahh.. nak layan ayam goreng sambil mengelamun or buat lawak bodo ngan bebudak nihh~! Kalau tak pon, buat keje Fundamental.. Mengong betul la!! Manyak giler orang tak siap laie! Huhhuuu.. ape la nak jadi ngan Wanie nie.. Wanie nak jadi tuan puteriiii!! AHHAHAH~! Saiko..!
Get back to ya' later~!

confusion, butterflies, excited

Just what I needed
Kenape kan.. it's usually.. when something kinda bad happens.. you'll always turn to your old friends.. Kite pegi gak kat kawan lama kite. Klakar lak rase.. running back to someone you haven't been running to for a long time. ^_^ I'm glad I still have those fellas with me..
Dani said something nice today!! AHHAHA~! Just what I needed at the very exact moment. People like you are so hard to find... I feel good about myself again! ^_^ That's why I need friends as much! When I feel like crap.. there'd always be someone who can get me better again.. So.. thanks, you guys!!! Cayang giler giler giler nye!! Babi pon tak giler camtu..! ^_^
Funny.. if I am really as bubbly and carefree as I seemed to be.. How come I can feel a bit crappy at times? Humm.. Hehhehe!
Demm, I hate it when people THINKS they know me.. and TELL me what to do. What? I can't think for myself? Can't decide what I want to do?? Obviously you don't know me THAT well.. Menyampahh aaaa!!!

Do die painfully..!

I've been searching deep down in my soul..
A question.. how do you make someone speak their heart out without you asking them to? Humm.. kinda hard, huh? Maybe they're waiting for us to slap their head and make them realize that they're dragging us down with the mixed signals. But anyways, I found this article in a news letter and I think it's true.. "Be in touch with your feelings. Never lose sight of it. Keep it in check. Understand why you're feeling a particular way, the cause of it and seek ways to deal with it. If someone is making you miserable, ask yourself if it's worth feeling so. You can't control what others do or say, but you can control how you want to feel about it.." So I guess... I need to deal with my feelings 'coz what I'm feeling right now, is SO not worth my time..!
Anyways, went out last night with Ana, Sheeya, Bahijah and Alitt to Shah Alam and got our Fundamental project bind. I think I put in too many paper in my thingy.. Huu.. don't know what I'm going to fill it with! It was such a tiring night~! We waited for an hour I think, 'coz the nice shop guy had to cut some of the boards for those kids.. ^_^ And the other nice guy gave me a drink!! HAHHAHA~!! It was amusing. Tetiba jek offer orang air.. Wanie je lak tuhh! Hik~! And then we went to McD.. Huu.. I finally got my dinner at 11 ('coz I was so stubborn not to eat before we left!) but it was just fine! Makanan ruji Wanie - McD! Seminggu mesti at least sekali makan.. tak senonoh sungguh!
And it's Tuesday already.. the Graphics paper was not so bad, I think! Well, of course I just ticked away mindlessly.. Gosh! Apelaa nak jadi nihh!! Yeah, so I read in CLEO, how you can tell someone's personality by their work desk.. and I'm the kind of person that cannot be serious! Hahhahha!! 'Coz I got a little teddy stuck on the monitor screen (courtesy of Ana..) and an owl placed on top of my speaker (courtesy of Musz..) Powerpuff and Cardcaptor's stickers on my CPU.. and a picture of me and Musz in a frame Fina gave me.. Hehhhe!!

Good Bye To You

Of all the things I believed in,
I just want to get it over with.
Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry.
Counting the days that passed me by.

I've been searching deep down in my soul.
The words that I'm hearing are starting to get old,
feels like I'm starting all over again.
The last three years were just pretend,

and I said...
Good bye to you,
good bye to everything I thought I knew.
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

I used to get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you.
Closing my eyes and you chase the thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light.
But it's not right!

Good bye to you,
good bye to everything I thought I knew.
You were the one I loved.
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

And it hurts to want everything and
nothing at the same time.

I want what's yours, and I want what's mine.
I want you but I'm not giving in this time.

Good bye to you,
good bye to everything I thought I knew.
You were the one I loved.
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Good bye to you,
good bye to everything I thought I knew.
You were the one I loved.
The one thing that I tried to hold on to.

And when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star.

I'm draaained..!
So tired, and majorly sleepy!! +_+

Right Kind Of Wrong

I know all about
Yeah, about your reputation
And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless everytime that I'm where you are

You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore
Oh I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much

Loving you
Yeah, isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah
I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kinda wrong
Yeah baby you're the right kinda wrong

It might be a mistake
A mistake I'm making
But what you're giving I am happy to be taking
'Cause no one's ever made me feel the way I feel when I'm in your arms

They say you're something I should do without
They don't know what goes on when the lights go out
There's no way to explain
All the pleasure is worth all the pain

Loving you
Yeah, isn't really something I should do (yeah...)
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you
I should try to be strong
But baby you're the right kinda wrong
Yeah baby you're the right kinda wrong

I should try to run
But I just can't seem to
'Cause everytime I run you're the one I've run to
I can't do without
What you do to me
I don't care if I'm in too deep (yeah...)

I know all about
Yeah, about your reputation
And now it's bound to be a heartbreak situation
But I can't help it if I'm helpless everytime that I'm where you are

You walk in and my strength walks out the door
Say my name and I can't fight it anymore
Oh I know, I should go
But I need your touch just too damn much

Loving you
Yeah, isn't really something I should do
Shouldn't wanna spend my time with you, yeah
I should try to be strong ( I should try to be strong)
But baby you're the right kinda wrong (right kinda wrong)
Baby you're the right kinda wrong (baby you're the right kinda wrong)
But baby you're the right kinda wrong

LeAnn Rimes

Boring boring afternoon..
In three words, I'd express how I feel as boring, boring, boring and nothing more! It's been such a a slow slow afternoon.. Nothing interesting happened.. Nothing at all! Except that me and the gurls fooled around with this particular acapella song 'coz it was so tempting! Hihhihik!
Well, supposedly I'll be going out in a bit. Haven't done my Fundamental works. Need to have it bind, and those plastic thingy.. Need to get it. Kinda odd.. Somehow I've been imagining something that could possibly happen when we're out later. Hee~! My mind works in a rather mysterious way.. ^_^
Humm, I have this HUGE curiosity that need to be answered.. but I don't know how to start.. Hope it'll get undone in time - before I get crazy for keeping it so long!
And now I'm asking myself.. why do I get this feeling that I'm turning into my old self? Alamaaak.. kena start jaga mulut ni balek! Kang mau terlepas macam-macam.. Heehee~! Gosh, I used to curse a whole LOT when I was in lower high school.. Start form 3 baru senonoh sikit.. Kalau idaaaaak.. Hihhihik!

You're wrong to think that I'm all sugar and honey, honeyy!

Here with you, near with you
Yeah~ yeahhh~!! I found the song that I was looking for! It's called If You're Not The One.. Heehee~! Gosh! Jiwang la Wanie!! 'Coz I got the chorus stuck with me, and the whole song was like.. really reaaally err.. deep! But I like it anyways!! HAHHAHA~!!
Oh heck.. I think I'm killing myself with dark thoughts. Y'know, of course you've heard about how someone THINKS they're sick and that's why they're sick! While someone who keeps a positive thinking got well from their sickness.. And right now, I'm like.. THINKING that I'm sick.. while I am really not! ^_^ Hehh.. this one, my mind got over my heart 'coz honestly, I don't feel anything anymore.. Remember that void I mentioned last week? Yeah, I'm still in it.. Pity me.. NOT!! 'Coz I THOUGHT that I can't get out.. but really.. I can if I put my mind to it.. So.. wish me luck!! ^.^

If You're Not The One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
but I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
and I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do i dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it , I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it,
I dont understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way I can stay in your arms?

Daniel Bedingfield

A bunch of posts again.. ^_^

Friday - January 24th 2003 When Your Heart and Mind Collide
It's hard when there's conflict between the two points in yourself. They are your heart; the source of your emotions and your mind; where your rational voice comes from. Everyone has their stronger point.. People may think that all women cannot THINK because they're too EMOTIONAL. Well, not all women are. At least not most of the girls I know. Honestly, my mates can think pretty well. They're usually calm, organised and rational indeed. People who think with their mind are usually stable. They MIGHT not be having as much fun as they can, but they're very stable and make less mistakes. Those who usually follow their heart in life are usually the 'happy-go-lucky' type. They usually do what they want, as they know what they want.. without concerning what the effects will be in the future.. and are also bound to make mistakes that they can actually avoid.
You might say listening to your mind is the best way than listening to your heart. But is it right? After all, it's your heart that tells you what you want - your true feelings - your greatest desires.. And if you don't listen to them, forever it'll be burried and forgotten. So, is it right? Your mind can be deceiving.. It's the heart that brings out the honesty in you. Your mind may tell you one thing, but your heart that knows best..
When you're in doubt
Can't tell from wrong or right
Just listen to your heart
And you'll find your way out
I hope that I'm right.. After all, I'm fated to make mistakes.. ^_^

Current song : How Could An Angel Break My Heart by Toni Braxton
Oh, my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me..

Saturday - January 25th 2003 Ordinary Day
Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just trying to get by
Just a boy, just an ordinary boy
But he was looking to the sky..
~ Vanessa Carlton ~
A boring day, really.. Nothing much. I was just sitting around at home, watching telly.. Which wasn't really that bad! 'Coz I woke up in time to catch Cardcaptor Sakura! And it's the episode with The Dream card. Heehee~! Syaoran has been showing some interest on Sakura. Maaaan, I am so girlish!! Got excited at those kind of things.. Huhh! Then I watched UBOS.. reminded me a whole lot of Harry Potter and his friends. Huwaaaaa!! Can't wait until JUNE!! And then there's Holly Valance which forced me to finally take my shower. Hehh.. didn't have my shower the whole yesterday. AHHAHHA!! Typically me at home.. Ngeee! ^_^ And then, there was Michelle Branch and Simple Plan! Which was kinda neat.. ^_^ And then.. there was that LOTR the making again!! WAHHAHHA~!!! Happy~ happy~
So right now, nothing's good on telly.. so I'm listening to Rick Dees, while typing this entry.. and staring outside the window and see the rain... Some things have changed, indeed. I used to get perky when it rains and wish that I was outside, playing. But now.. I get a bit down when I see the rain. Bluekk! I hate this. SO not me..!
Anyways, I've been reading the past CLEO issues in the weekends nowadays. I know.. I should be doing my assignments! I could've had it it done by now.. but anyways! Loads of stuff I like to share in here, but I'll do it bit by bit. If you remember, I've mentioned some days ago about "How Men Handle Break-Ups Better Than Women", I re-read the article and decided to share only some of the points. 'Coz if I share ALL of them, it'll make an impression that ALL men are jerks! And that ALL women are hopeless! Hehh~! So I got.. two out of five - 1. Having a relationship is just an added bonus (for men) - not their be all! Even though they may care about you (girl), even love you immensely, they're still looking outside of the relationship. 2. Unlike women, men are not wrapped up in their relationships. This gives them the upper hand to break up with women and not feel like their world has ended, because he never did make her, his whole world.
Hehh! CLEO can be so 'unhealthy' sometimes. ^_^ Maan, I need to put on more weight! Huuuu~!
Okehh.. now I'm going to share something really good to end this entry with. Hik~! 10 Types Of Friends You Need In Life
The best friend they're always there for you, and you're there for them. You rely on each other totally.
Work friend you share gossip and fun lunch breaks and may even go out some evenings. Might develop into something more or stay as it is.
Good-time friend can't rely on them for anything except having a good time. Fine if you don't count on them.
Couple friend great when you've got a partner, to have someone you can go out in foursome with.
Older friend they guide and help you, a bit like a big sibling or older cousin, rather than a parent figure.
Family friend distant cousin/aunt/uncle or old neighbor that you keep regular contact with. Can share stuff you can't with other friends. Very elastic, it can come close at times or stretch to infinity, but it's always there.
Hobby friend you're both crazy about Harry Potter or what ever. There's little else to it, but you enjoy sharing this craze.
Old-time friend best mates in school, you're drifted apart but still like each other. You keep each other's feet on the ground, reminding each other where you came from.
Opposite-sex friend not just someone who tells you the truth about the opposite sex, but someone you can have fun with and not compete with, at least not on the fashion front.
Younger friend they keep you in touch with what's going on and gives you a chance to play big sister/brother.

Take my hand
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams
Are right in the palm of your hand..

Sunday - January 26th 2003 Would it be my fault if I ignore this foolish games?
aaAaAaa.. I just listen to this neat song.. but I don't know what it's called!! Eeeek!! I first heard it last weekend, and the lyrics just stuck with me. And this week I heard it again, and I still haven't got the title!! Huwaaaaaa!! So if any of you peeps have a song with the lyrics that goes like this, I don't wanna run away but I can' t take it, I don't understand.. GIMME! GIMME!! Huwaaaa!! I am SO going to waste my time searching for this song when I get back to MMU tomorrow..
Okehh, I really should do my Fundamental work right now, but instead.. I'm wasting my time in front of the computer again.. Hehh~! Remember the time in Form 5.. Papa kept lecturing me to study while I just sat in front of the computer.. Hahhha~! I think it's a bit weird.. I am the one who got lectured the most, but I turn out to be the most spoiled! Hahha!! Cemane tu?? Hik! Gosh! Can't wait 'til Dida comes home..! I miss her somehow.. ^_^ Nina's getting married in ONE week! And she and Jasmin are still having stupid stupid arguements each night. *Demm* I hate it when Nina starts to pour out how she felt.. it scares the crap outta me!!
Honestly, when someone close to you are going to get married.. it'll make you start thinking about yourself. Okaylaa.. I'm talking about how I feel right now. I mean, Nina's getting married.. which means that, in some years.. it'll be my turn! Huwaaaa!! So anyways.. then I got myself thinking. Everyone has their other half - their soul mate.. but, will I find MY other half?? 'Coz.. not everyone ends up with their soul mate, 'aight?? Huuu.. kan dah orang pikir camni! Susah betul.. *Demm* lagi sekali.. Of course I have some more years to think about this.. but dah terpikir.. ter start.. *Demm* lagi.. And when Dida gets married.. I'll have to think about it even MORE!! Waaaaaa!!!! Horror nye..! Y'know, one thing.. I have this tendency to ask my girl friends.. "Is HE the one??" Hope I won't be asked the same question.. Hehh~!
Lallalalalaa~! Don't wanna think about that yet.. ^_^ Tau taaak, mase zaman sekolah rendah dulu kan.. Wanie tak penah tinggalkan umah without a cap! (Tak pakai tudung laie..) Hahhaha~!! Fasa boy-ish. Kelakar lak rase. When my friends started talking about Summerset Bay, they'd mention "a place that won't interest you, Ida" HEHH! Klakar.. klakar.. Something that hasn't changed at all - I still hate wearing sandals! Heehee~!
Okehh.. I'll be away for a while. Gotta do something more constructive.. ^_^

Heehee~! So much for a constructive work! Just spent 2 hours scanning some pictures. Hihh!! Gosh, I really have no control over myself..! Always the same.. said to do something, but end up doing something else. Telling people one thing, but feels the different thing.. Sheesh~! My heart and mind just won't get along.. GrrRrRr.. Oh heck, I really really REALLY need to do the things I said I would.. So, later perhaps~! Really really REALLY have to do my laundry and Fundamental.. Hehh~!
AaaAaaAa!! Papa is so neat!! Hihhik~! Me and Nina asked for McD just now, and my dad just called to make sure of the things we wanted.. and then he asked.. "Do you want a sundae?" AHHAHHA~!! Of course I do!! Hahhahha~! Happy~ happy~~
Okehh.. I rest again. Humm.. I think this is interesting. If you were asked to say how you feel in three words, what would those words be? Hehheh.. Mine.. I think, my three words would be.. heart, mess, dizzy! ^_^ That's what I feel right now, anyways.. I am feeling dizzy right now, so I should stop..

Refusing to see what your heart is telling you is just stupid!

So much work!!
uuUUuUu.. Ana's down with a bit of fever..
Anyways, the weekend is here again! I believe that I'll be having loads and LOAAADS of work to do this time around.
With the trailer for Graphics, booklet for Fundamental.. and Nina's big day..
Huwaaaa!! I need to get more money..
Umm, anyways! Speechless really..
Nothing from my head, nothing from my heart.
Can't understand them both, it's just too hard.
Stuff in my head, nothing much else to say.
Hope it'll turn okay, as it goes by day..
Okehh! Guess I'll get back to you peeps next week. Where's the good in goodbye, eh?

Current song : Formerly Known As by Kendall Payne

I'll tame this lion of flesh before the night is over
My love will not let me rest until my mind is sober
Reputations from my past chained so tight
You break free you break fast on my decision tonight

Formerly known as nothing and and no one
Formerly known as lost

I've been sold to lies I've been told by former generations
Who tell me what's worth having a hold on for cheap sensations
But you ask me at this moment who I say I am
A new creation they don't have to understand

Formerly known as nothing and and no one
Formerly known as lost

I will not be bound by what they tell me I can be
I will not stay silent I will speak my liberty

Hati kate "mau", badan kate "blah".. Mau blah..!
Huuu.. skipped my English yet again. Huwaaaa!! What's up with me these days??! I'm supposed to like English very much!! Huu.. I've changed.. +_+
The morning was pretty neat. ^_^ I don't know.. it was just nice.
Something rather weird happened though. I don't know why I feel this way.. Ayyayayya!! Fate is such a funny thing.
I'll get crazy if I think about it too much..

Current song : Disease by Matchbox 20
~ You taste like honey, honey ~

Heeeeeee~!
Just got back from our morning walk. It was a pretty nice walk.. considering there were five of us, together.
I think morning is the best time to think about stuff. Especially in your walks. The cool air.. the quiet surroundings.. it's really neat. I think I spent most of my time just now by staring into the space, thinking about stuff. Though there was no decisions made, but it did made me realize about some things I haven't take notice before. So it was really nice! ^_^
Probably should do this more often~!

Current song : The Prayer by Josh Groban w/ Charlotte Church
I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

Mak aihh!
What can I say? It's amazing that the connection is fast this morning! Got five songs downloaded!! AHHAHHA~! It amazes me.. ^_^
So neat that I've downloaded Disease now!! AHHAHAH~! Weeeee~!

Disease

Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody's heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go

You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go

No one's ever turned you over, no one's tried
To ever let you down
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart

(Chorus)
I got a disease
Deep inside me, that makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you, tell me what am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from me, don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease

Feels like you're makin a mess
You're hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn

Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, almost magic
Beautiful girl
I can't breathe

I got a disease
Deep inside me, that makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you tell me what am I supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from me, don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease, yeah, well, I think that I'm sick
Believe me well my world is comin' down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me, can I be your honey
be be strong, keep tellin myself that it won't take long 'till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah, well free of my disease
Free of my disease

Yeah well I got a disease
Deep inside me, that makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you, tell me what am I supposed to do about it?
Keep your distance from me, don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease, yeah, well I think that I'm sick
Well leave me be while my world is comin down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me, can I be your honey?
Be be strong, keep tellin myself that it won't take long till
I'm free of my disease
Yeah, free of my disease
Set me free of my disease

Matchbox 20

Bodo nyer Nazri
The time now is 11:56 pm, and the server is down.. down.. down.. So I'm just typing this out just to tell my night activity.
It was really a waste of time.. Me and my mates went to the FCM commitee meeting 'coz we had nothing else better to do.. only to find out that we DO have much better things to do!! The person that handles the meeting was a real b*tch! And it's actually a HE! Huhh!! Guys like that deserves to die painfully. Okay, I may be a bit over reacting here.. but he's really a pain in the a$$! Good thing guys like that doesn't appeal so much to my eyes. Huhh!! (ooOo please don't say that he can play the guitar)
Oh well, should probably get to sleep right away. Really sleepy now.. and me and the gurls are probably going for a morning walk tomorrow.. Heehee~!!

Still feeling the same.. clueless..

Waaaa~ Tired!
Huu.. such a tiring afternoon! But it was so much fun!!
Me and Ana went for Fundamental in the afternoon with a pretty low enthusiasm. But it wasn't so bad! We had some fun doing some silly stuff with the plastercine (hope I get this right!). It was really silly.. 'coz both of us had not much idea on what should we do, so we just messed around with our pink plastercines. It was pretty amusing.. Ana did a love shape, and I did an arrow and stuck it to the heart. ^_^ And there's this one time, I wrote LOVE = CRAP with my plastercine and a while later Mr John came over to our desk and made the P of the CRAP into B.. So it went LOVE = CRAB!! Hehh..
And later.. we were walking reaaaaally slow back to our room 'coz Fina, BJ and Sheeya were having their Graphics.. and at the start of the stairs, they called.. and a bit while we head to Street Mall, yet again!! Hihhihik! It was a fun walk.. and dinner! It was really reaaaaaaally nice. And the walk back was pretty hilarious.. ^_^ I just got a bit crazy, lost my head.. and did some silly stuff! Hihhik!
So now, we're going to head for the Alpha comittee meeting. Just to fill up some of our boring time.. ^_^

And I still feel the same..

Huwaaa! Huwaaa!!!!
I really have tears in my eyes. Why? Because I need the time to move faster!! I need to be in June as soon as possible!! Why? Because, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix will be out on the 21st of that month!! Huwaaaaa!! Why does it take so much time??! Huwaaa!! I want June!! I need June!!
This is so not fair!! Huwaaaaa!! I can't wait that long!! Huhhuhuhu!! You should see the article I read.. It's really excruciating fans like me! Huwaaa!!
My hands trembling.. why? Because the article wrote some of the lines in the book!!
Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses.
‘It is time,’ he said, ‘for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything.’
Huwaaaaaa!! If you're a real Harry Potter freak like me.. you'd understand how this really feels. My God!! What's Dumbledore gonna tell Harry??!! Huwaaaaaa!!
Quick quick.. June come over quick!!!!

Waiting is such a torture!! Huwaaa!!

A waste of enthusiasm
Waaaahh~!! Had a supposedly-consultation with Mr Hew.. but Tariq and Dani was not around. *Demm* Eyh.. my English wasn't so bad after all just now! Hahha~!! Neways, wasted a whole hour wondering around while me and Ana waited for the guys and finally we just went into our tutor's room..
Maaan.. my addiction for sugar has gotten worse!! I have Hudson's, Fruit-tella and TWIX in my room!! Oh yeah, and that box of Honey Stars!! Huwaaa!! What's happening?!! This time it's really terrible!! I'm in constant craving for more sweets.. +_+
oOoO yeah, a lil' advertisement over here.. You peeps, read February's issue of CLEO!! AHHAHHA~!! I don't know what's up with me and CLEO these days. Be sure to check out the recommended sites at the end of the mag. Heehee~! It's really funny.. I mean, I'm actually looking over this site, aboutyourbreakup.com. Heehee~! I think it was in December issue, where there's a bit part of an article that said Why Men Handle Break-ups Better than Women. Hihh! Well, there's some interesting tid-bit in the December one, but I forgot how the line goes.. ^_^ Maybe I'll share that one a wee bit later. Honestly, the sites in the February one seemed interesting but I forgot to write it down.. so I forgot what it's about! HAHAHHA!! But I do know that I'm going to check out onlinepsychic.com! AHHAHA~!! I am REALLY losing my marbles..
Humm.. should I continue on my crappy Fundamental work, or should I just be rested..? ^_^

Current song : Please Remember by Leann Rimes
And how we laughed and how we smiled
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ran so fast we ran so free
I had you and you had me
Please remember, please remember

I Need Love

I left my conscience like a crying child
Locked the door behind me put the pain on file
Broken like a window I see my blindness now

I need love
Not some sentimental prison
I need God
Not the political church
I need fire
To melt the frozen sea inside me
I need love

Driving into town tired and depressed
Like a flare the street light bursts into an SOS
Peace comes to my rescue and I don't know what it means
I need love

Sixpence None The Richer

A Kiwi History
It is also known as Chinese gooseberry and Yang Tao. The small, oval fruit has a thin brownish-green skin with a fuzzy surface. The flesh, which is a distinctive green with tiny purplish seeds surrounding a white core may be eaten raw or cooked.
The history of the kiwi fruit began in the Chang Kiang Valley of China. Called Yang Tao, it was considered a delicacy by the great Khans who relished the fruit's brilliant flavor and emerald-green color. Knowledge of the fruit expanded to other countries in the mid 1800s to 1900s.
Plants were first exported from China to the United States in 1904, and seeds were brought to New Zealand in 1906. Kiwi fruit is available worldwide today and is produced in New Zealand, the United States, Italy, Japan, Greece, France, Spain, Australia and Chile.

My friends..
Heehee~! I am surrounded by crazy friends!! aaAaAaA!!
Anyways, they're doing their Fundamental while I'm here, in front of the computer.. partly, doing a research for my Fundamental work, mind you! Heehee~! Ana, Fina, BJ and Sheeya were really crazy just now!! Actually each one of us had a flashback of those old songs we learn in school.. Sang those Kereta Kecil and Tiga Sekawan song! It was hilarious!! Can't believe the whole room sang to it.
Not to mention, when we danced to Ayumi's song again! This time, BJ already knew the steps!! Now there's FIVE people that can dance to the song! Hihhihik!
Anyways, gotta start searching some info 'bout kiwi fruits.. maybe if I'm so bored, I'd even post it in here! ^_^

Seperti berjelaga jika kusendiri..

I REALLY am leading an unhealthy life..
But I did went for an evening walk with Ana and Sheeya! We went to Street Mall, and believe it or not.. It was not tiring at all!! It was in fact, enjoyable! 'Coz it was dark, windy and cool!! Really nice! We shopped for junkies and stuff.. It was raining a bit.. but I'm not showing any signs of getting a fever!! Huhh!! Teringin nak demam kat sini.. takde rezeki agaknye.. Huhuuuu~! And owh, guess what I bought!.. a sachet of sweets.. and later, me and Fina ate fried chicken. HAHH~!! Really.. I am killing myself!!
But I AM feeling mighty sleepy and a bit dizzy... And I accidentally kicked BJ's tin of pencil colours.. Owwww!! Sakiiiiiiiiiiit.. +_+

Bad baaad feeling.. oh why~?!

I am leading such an unhealthy life..
Yikes!! You should see how much sugar I take just in this three days! My oh my.. I have a very bad feeling that I'll be diagnose with such a disease by mid 40s. (That's if I live that long!) Honestly.. I don't know what has come over me! During this last three days, I had six packs of Fruit-tella.. And I ate a slice of cake, last night.. some chunks of chocolate.. Gosh!! I don't know what has come over me.. Can't stop munching on those Fruit-tella!! aaAaAaaA!! Can't chew on gums 'coz I get tooth ache from them.. huuu.. Eeeeeek!! Help me stop eating these Fruit-tella!!!! O yeah.. and when I came here.. what did I brought? A box of Honey Stars!! aaAAaAaA!! What's with the sugar addiction??!!
Just saw that TATU's video clip!! Many thanks to Azilah! Maaaaan!! They're really REAAAAALLY daring!! Yikes! I'm getting scared of lesbos.. Huuu.. no offence to anyone who reads this blog.. but err.. two girls.. kissing in the rain.. That's pretty much new to me, and it creeps me out!! Huhuuuu...! Wondering now.. what attracts the same sex to be together? I mean, looking at the short-haired one.. she's cute! Impossible if there's no guy that's attracted to her! Huuu.. could it be that a girl understands another girl better than any guy? So.. she chose to be with one of her kind. Huu.. or maybe they were soooo close to each other that somehow.. someway.. they're just attracted to one another?? HAHAHHA!! I don't know.. Can't figure it out.. I'm close with my mates.. I hold their hands when we're walking (out of habit, having my dad hold my hands most of the time) 'coz it makes me feel secured, and I won't get too far astrayed (and maybe 'coz it's just nice having someone you trust walking right next to you!) but I never felt attracted to them! Yeahh.. I love my friends, but not like.. real love-love! Though.. as much as I like hugging my dad and my sisters.. I can't hug my friends.. AHHAHHA!! Only at some occasions, when I haven't seen them for such a long long time or I won't be seeing them for a long long time.. 'coz the thought of hugging my girl friends just seemed.. icky somehow! AHHAHAHA~!!
Wokehh.. I gotta run now.. going for a walk with the gurls..

Current song : I Need Love by Sixpence None The Richer
~ I need love, not some sentimental prison ~

Give A Little Love

Everytime I think I've had enough of you
I take you back again
Not because I need a friend
Just because I can't pretend
Like the others do
You think you're really serious
Clever and mysterious
Talking like you're dangerous
Talking like a fool

Every day there's someone else
Who wants to get with me
I'm telling you
If you know what's good for you
Treat me like you used to do
Love me like before

'Cos all I can do is watch and wonder
where the boy I know has gone
You say that you want me, well it's
Time to tell your friends where they belong

You can find it in your heart
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us
You can find it in your soul
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us

'Cos all I can do is watch and wonder
where the boy I know has gone

Little boy I don't want anything to do with you
Get on your knees
I'm the one you have to please
Not the ones you want to be
I don't think you're cool

'Cos soon you can only watch and wonder
Where the girl you knew has gone
And then you will realize that
Everything you did to me was wrong

You can find it in your heart
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us
You can find it in your soul
Give a little love
Have a little faith
In the two of us

'Cos all you can do is watch and wonder
Where the girl you knew has gone

And do you really wanna lose a friend
You gotta understand or it has to end
'Cos I don't wanna wait for you anymore
Can't take it anymore

by M2M