persistant or stubborn?

i wouldn't really know...

Somewhere In Between by Lifehouse

I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours and I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...
What is real and just a dream...

hehhe.. notice that i've been posting up infamous songs by lifehouse? :D 'coz i think they're still good.. and i've already posted their famous ones over the months..! :p
i practically spend the day/night playing worms. it's addictive, i tell you!! can't wait to play it with dida again.. we used to scream such a lot when we're playing something together. sangat berperasaan, somehow! :D
when we were playing worms armageddon, we would hit each other a lot for killing each other's worms.. "tak aci," we said.. sedangkan the motive was to kill the other team's worms! ahhahahahah!
homesick!!
and i'm not sure if i'm able to get home this weekend.. :( i SHOULDN'T, really.. have to get the animation done, weihhhh!! (though i did thought of just letting it be..) but the date was extended!! and it should be a sign for me to start working.. but why am i still taking this too lightlyyy??? b-(

okehh! gonna share this poem i found.. written by W.H. Auden
The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.
and since i am now VERY bored.. i am gonna throw in this stuff as well...

10 People you want to spend more time with:
1) dida
2) nina
3) izzati
4) papa
5) mama
6) hanis
7) lily
8) rosie
9) prisca
10) *mumble*

09 Things you're looking forward to:
1) school breaakk!!
2) ptptn moneyyy!
3) beastmaster's birthday! :)) :x
4) prisca's birthdayyy!!
5) genting!!
6) dida's new car!
7) dida's paycheck! :)) :))
8) gamma MI!
9) izzati's first word!

08 Things you like to wear:
1) shirts that are too big for me
2) converse
3) sneakers
4) sockss!!
5) lip gloss
6) thong!! :)) :))
7) skirt :D
8) the necklace i am wearing now (for the past 6 years, really!)

07 Things that annoy you:
1) bad grammar
2) lame malay films
3) too much noise
4) people who thinks they're funny
5) people who can't quit complaining
6) myself.. sometimes! heehee
7) mosquitoes

06 Things you say most everyday:
1) pandaiii!
2) terok
3) yeeaaaayy!!
4) benci betul!
5) eee.. tak pandai betul!
6) stupid airhead

05 Things you do everyday:
1) blink
2) day-dream
3) hum
4) bump myself into something
5) yapp

04 Bands/people you've been listening to a lot lately:
1) Vertical Horizon
2) Lifehouse
3) Evanescence
4) Jimmy Eat World

03 Movies you could watch over and over again:
1) You've Got Mail
2) Frequency
3) Practical Magic

02 Of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) Vertical Horizon - Won't Go Away
2) Evanescence - Going Under

01 Person you would spend the rest of your life with:
1) ekk. :p

having an allergy reaction to something, i think! having pink rashes.. :-S
tak skeeeeeeeee!!!

"blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they never shall cease to be amused."

heeheee..
i should tap the back of the person who quoted that..
just spent an hour looking through the internet.. reading up to poetry, quotes.. literature! :x
humm.. some days i wonder why i didn't do literature and do multimedia instead.. :-S after all, that was (and still is) my first passion. humm.. maybe later.
Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you.


You are an angel of the forest. You love to have a
good time and to get in trouble. For you, it's
all fun and games. You like to have friends,
preferably not human, and can converse with all
animals. You love to party, and like to be
alone. You are a deep person, but most people
miss it. Thinking that you are just childish
and young. Which you are not. You are old, and
wise, even if nobody can see it. You know what
the real world is like, better than your peers.
You have a naturally beatiful singing voice,
and are a natural with most instruments.
You can often loose your self. But will always find
yourself again. For that is just who you are.

Be happy. Never change. Because you are beautiful.


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla

interrrrestingg.......
anyways!!! honestly i felt like reporting.. but somehow it just got lost in my thoughts.. (yet again!)
apsal nihh??! this is waay too weird for my own head.
o well.. still missing my diary.

mosquito bites.

i hate.
been having those for a few nights.
can't sleep well because of the mosquitoes!
i reaaaally hate!!! X(


Quasimodo by Lifehouse

You could be right and I'll be real
Honesty won't be a pain you'll have to feel
'Cause I don't need your approval to find my worth
I've been trapped inside of my own mind
Afraid to open my eyes 'cause of what I'd find
I don't want to live like this anymore

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fall
There goes this feeling that has no meaning

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back
There it goes

Does it scare you that
I can be something different than you
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't
You can't control me
You can't take away from me who I am

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fall
There goes this feeling that has no meaning

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back
You can't change me
You can't break me

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back

Have you ever felt that your only comfort was your cage
You're not alone
I have felt the same as you
Have you ever felt like your secrets give you away
You're not alone
I have been there, too

Everyone is looking
and everyone is laughing but I think everyone feels the same
Everybody wants to feel okay
Everybody wants to
Everybody wants to feel

There goes my pain
There goes my chains
Did you see them fall
There goes this feeling that has no meaning

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back

'Cause I don't want it
I don't want it
You can't change me
You can't break me

There goes the world off of my shoulders
There goes the world off of my back
There it goes

okay.. i think i had some things to tell earlier but somehow it's left up there in this head.
i don't feel like reporting any of my day activity somehow.
pms.
not making me any happier, really.
emailed some finance guy about the ptptn loan, but there's still no reply. lazy airhead!
b-( (do you notice how "rich" my curse vocabulary these days?? b-( ) bosannye fikir pasal duuiiiiit!!!
and i said i would stop eating.. but i can't! in fact, i've been wasting them! grrRrRR! so angry at myself!! X(
(i think i should be blacklisted or something by the finance division for keep on sending emails.. hahhahha!! well, i am honestly.. just inches away from sending spam or pornographic sites to their emails.. ekkekeke! i would if they don't reply the email i just sent!)

ekkk!!! great!! now i'm hit with a real crappy mood!
thank you.

can't wait for the school break. can't wait for the school break. can't wait for the school break.
the best time to run away from everything.. or anyone, if that matters.
can't wait to get my head all empty again.. aaahhhh~
i am SO anticipating the school break..!!!
i want 3 weeks of sleep.. 3 weeks of play play playy.. 3 weeks of shouting about with dida.. 3 weeks of hugging papa.. 3 weeks of kissing mama's butt.. 3 weeks of babbling with izzati.. 3 weeks of steeling nina's wisdom.. 3 weeks of comforter.. 3 weeks of television.. 3 weeks of pen and paper..
starting to miss my diary. going to have to get a new book 'coz my current one is running out of pages! :D
can't wait for the next 2 weeks to end.. so i can glue myself at home for the next 3 weeks.

i feel the need to run.. very far from here.

the week continues...

(btw, i think he's wearing converse shoes. ekkeke)
Trying by Lifehouse

Could you let down your hair
Be transparent for a while, just a little while
To see if you're human after all

Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out

Well let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna to pretend like I do

Just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way the best I know how

Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form someday
If i quote all the lines off the top of my head
Would you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read

I'm just trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way
Trying
To find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life to get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you, and

I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way

I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way...

(been bolding out parts that i have no reason why..)
just found out how neat the arrangement sounds.. :x

i still have nothing much to say..
except..
b*tch! (man, i hate using that curse word!!!)
i may find myself cursing again in 2 months and probably right then i'd really hit myself to the walls. *scream*
screw youu!
god, i'm so angry!!

almost 2 years in multimedia university. i find myself thinking about the people i know..

there was a person i used to care very much and put my whole trust in to..
another person that i can't get enough of..
and a person i used to distant myself from..
also a person i'd love to get to know more of..

now that time has passed..
i still trust that same person with all my heart. i truly care for that person though i may not seem like so..
i still can't get enough of that other person. i am still.. absolutely.. enamoured..
and i've come to adore and look up to that person, as the person have been intelligent and impressive all this while.
but i have also received much pain from the person that i used to like so much for the coolness. turns out that the person was just.. cold.

i find myself apologizing, somehow.
..and i hate it.

but i still love jason wade!! :x :x
and now tetiba teringin nasik beriyani mamak! adohhh~! (bole lak malam malam buta!)

what's amazing..

since i have nothing much to say (but felt like typing, anyways!) i am officially celebrating Jason Wade's Week! hahahhaha!!
his birthday is in july, though.. and he's just 4 years older and what's more.. he got married on 2001!!! (i think it's AMAZING how people actually decided to commit theirselves to something as serious as that at such an early age..) jason wade's amazing!!!!!! he writes his own songs.. plays 'em.. and sings 'em.. :x :x AMAZING!!!!! :x
(i think i sounded SO alike high-school kids)


Take Me Away by Lifehouse

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time you burn me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away

I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place

I've seen enough and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away..

b-( *gedebikk*
i ought to do my work rather than do search about this guy or playing worms..!!!
hahhahaha!! :))
*gedebikk*

drama swasta di tangga

screamed lily's name at the stairs earlier tonight. i heard her voice talking to kak mai while i was half asleep. wanting to respond but i somehow just froze. i was seconds late.. and started to feel sad.. (mane bahijah pegiiiii? :( )
after going back and forth from my room to the stairs, i decided to go up and see her room.. ehh? all her shoes are there! even her toilet slippers.. came in and she was there!!!! yeaaaaaaayy~!
and then somehow we end up in tesco shopping for snacks..
and now i am sleepy.


You Belong To Me by Jason Wade

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
Just remember darlin all the while,
You belong to me.

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souveniers,
Just remember when a dream appears,
You belong to me.

And I'll be so alone without you,
Maybe you'll be lonesome too.

Fly the ocean in a silver plane,
See the jungle when it's wet with rain.
Just remember til you're home again
You belong to me.

Oh I'll be so alone without you,
Maybe you'll be lonesome too.

Fly the ocean in a silver plane,
See the jungle when it's wet with rain.
Just remember till you're home again
You belong to me.

heyy you.. bila nak kasi updated version nieeeee!! grRrrr X(

why laa jason wade have to be sooo jason wade? :x sangat sukaa~!!!

*sigh*

did this

Outlook on life
You are positive and optimistic.

Emotional state
You are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

Your resolve
You are insecure or are living through a period of major change.

Social skills
You prefer to talk rather than listen

Love life
You are unlucky in love

hahahha!! how about that?
..and i'll die if i believe in this.
this one is entertaining of somewhat..

What Life Holds by teddibun
Your Name
shows..	that you are and will have some trouble in love
Your Birthday
means..	you are insecure and easily confused by those around you
Your Favorite Color
indicates..	that you should stop staring too much on the pc
A Name of the Opposite Sex
will..	want to be the one to protect you, come what may
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

[12:59 pm]
-------------------------------

seribu kali boncit!

shouldn't have come back!!
should've just stayed at home.. to hell with these works!! not like i care all that much!!
*scream*
menyampah
annoyed
annoyed
very annoyed!!
at least at home i could hang out and sleep without a single bit of guilt.
arses!!!!
*scream*

*jigs*

woohoo~!!!
spent the most exciting.. and tiring day with dear dida! :x
hahhahahahha!!
don't know why but i feel like smiling whenever i think about it. heehee..

thank you ms. cindyyyy~!!
F1!!!! me and dida spent our day at the track watching those fast cars racing by. honestly, it was a bit boring since we don't really know what's happening at the other sides of the track (like ralf's flaming car.. which nina told me when i saw her yesterday! hahahhaha!!) but we had the excitement. you get a lot more action by watching the telly, but if you want the excitement.. go to the track!!!!! heehee!
and what's best.. schumy (michael) won the race!!! woohoo~!! all the sun and sweat paid off after all! hahhahahah!! it's a shame that the rain doesn't continue on for the whole of the race.. or we would've seen some accidents and that'd be fantastic!!! hahahahhahah!! action-wise lah. :D

shah alam - subang - sepang - nilai - seremban
five locations in whole one day. :D :D left the house after nina dida and papa menjalankan tanggungjawab mereka.. hahahhaha!! it was like.. 10:30 i think. then stopped by at toys r us in subang coz nina and jasmin (okaylahh.. ABG min) wanted to see some stuff.. and i was like playing around lahh!! ekekekke! :x can someone please get me those collectible carebears??!! heehee~ and there was also stuff from my little pony!! wahh!! sangat sukaaaaaaaaa!!! i can still hum their song, if you must know. ekkekeke!!
anyways!! then to f1 lahh!! :D :x
and after it ended, i went to nina's home in seremban as dida goes straight to shah alam. (sian dida... she must be very tired for work, today!) played around with izzati.. :x
"izzati izzatiiii~ bila nak giggle untuk cik wanie nieeeee!!" *cubit pipi* *jentik pampers* *izzati smiles*
grrRrrrrRrrR.. geram btol tengok itu budak kici.. NAK BABYYYYY!!!!
ekkekekekek!! i know i know.. when the time comes, okehh! :| (by the way, izzati had her first giggle last tuesday and i wasn't around to hear it!!! :()
that's why i've been trying to make her giggle whenever i see her! :x

okehhh!! should've gone back here last saturday but i stayed at home instead! hahahhaha!! now i REALLY need to start on my work!
yoshh~!!

i am coming to hate PEOPLE.
most of them are just bullheads. don't ask me who, but people are not so great after all. i am sorry to say the things i say but i've seen enough things to make me say it.
not saying that i am better than everyone else, 'coz i am not! i talk a bunch of crap load, but this unjust bulls that has been messing with my head has made me bitter.
and if i be a grumpy hag when i grow old.. i won't be all too surprised..

please remind me not to think more of this or i end up with no friends by the end of my life.

unfair

congratulations, you just lost another point.
honestly, if you hate me, keep doing these things and i'd really hate you back.
i know i made the impression that i was fine with all that.. but honestly, i just hate that!
hate it
hate it!

i honestly hate people who are being unjust. and i found plenty of them through out my time.. i really don't need another person to add up to the list.
i am annoyed,
heartbroken,
and upset.

so upset that it had to be you..
why you? :(

tonight..

..i'm tangled in my blanket of clouds
dreaming aloud..

*scream*

my daily dosage
i have like a thousand things to tell about this "dosage" but i'd sound super lame if i do tell. :p
my friends are going to be so bored if i start.. :))
i have a million thoughts of "dosage" and i wonder if it'll ever materialize. :D
*tuk*

my right arm is about to fall off. it hurts so soooo bad!! :((
going back home tomorrow with lily. :) anticipating survivor with dida 'coz discussion with her about the show will never end! ekekekke!! :D :D looking forward to the short 'getaway' at home. gotta be back here early so i can start a lil' something of maya. :|

a quiet night..
since i'm not talking to anyone right now.. if i go missing tomorrow, just be informed that i am not around, ya! :D (this is actually like a message to some people! heehee)
just got back from a short trip to putrajaya as lily wants to get some food in her tummy. :) thank you kak mai for getting me a burger earlier.. :D so i did eat, okay! :p

_{ever felt like talking about nothing in particular to a certain someone? only to find how silly it feels for feeling that way since it has no real point? i feel like sharing.. something.. anything.. hahhahahaha!! i am entwined, still}

stinky cow

that was what i was some minutes ago...
sweat and my felix t-shirt doesn't get along too well.. ahhahahahha!!
but not anymore!! :D
now where did i put my bra.. ahh! malas!! :))

so tired..
kak mai: eh, ingat wanie tido.
me: memang nak tido, tapi badan lenguh sangat takleh nak tido.. *frowns*
kak mai: ok, meh kak mai ketuk ngan kayu biar pengsan.
me: waaahhh, membantunyeeee!!!
kak siti: kejam..
thought of getting a nap.. but i am too hungry and every inch of my body hurts. don't know why, but it felt as if i spent the day doing sports. hahhahaha!!

spent the morning in sunway to get the posters printed. had brunch :D and then went back to cyber. around 2 me and the hobbitses went to the studio for the submission... yeah.. 2 o'clock.. but what time did we get to see chematto??
8:30 pm!!!!!
gilok!
and waited for hours for what?? to get rejected by chematto!! hahhahahahhahaha!! but it wasn't too bad since he was in a light mood with us. insisted that me and prisca looked like sisters.. (which puan sri also approved) and then remembering that drogo's mom said the same thing.. hahhahahahha!! tak mahuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!! :p
we did have some fun while waiting though.. me and the girls made some confetti and released it through the window.. there was also some paper planes.. and since i didn't know how to fold one, i set sail a paper ship.. hahhaha!! :p it was fun, watching the papers fly away.. yeah, it was rubbish to the environment.. but heck! these so called 'creative' people just wanted to fill their time. :))
and then we also played around with the chair. they really should't put wheels on those chairs. hahhahahha!! :))

scroll down in this page to the end..
and heyyy!! i actually know the cameraman seihhh!! hahhahahahahha!! :)) :p

maybe.. will be updated later.. if i can stand all these pain.. and tireness..!!

you are like sooooo... urghhhh!! *speechless*

haaaahh~
She will listen if she respect you.
and how am i supposed to listen when no one says anything? bluerthhhhh~!!!!

(okay, i just spent minutes typing and backspacing some lines..)

the people i respect usually don't say anything. i know i am smart enough to know what's wrong and what's right.. but sometimes i really want to hear how they feel when i did something that is not to their liking. it's weird come to think about it.. mama and papa barely stopped me from doing anything. neither does nina and dida. people just expect me to make the right choice..
what if someday i just get tired of making my own choices??
(in a critical condition as i am actually thinking of a hundred ways to get myself into real trouble..)

biarlaaaah~
had quite a good time with hobbitses, by the way! :) spent the night in hartamas dining, talking and yeah, had shisha. mereng some bits, (but rosie was a lil bit more! :p) but due to a few circumstances at this moment, i wish i had a bottle of shisha of my own for me to hit my head with.
but anywayss!! heard lily, prisca and drogo's experience of incubus' show last night. sounded fun but i really don't feel all that.. rugi (can't think of the english word for it!) but i did get a lil' bit jealous listening to prisca's story of brandon boyd! hahahhahaha!! she said that he messed his guitar-playing for some times, and before hand he already mentioned that he wasn't good at playing and singing at the same time. ekekkeke! musti kiut! :x
haaah~ rugi di situ. b-( :))

and prisca got herself excited over enrique iglesias (spelling?) now. he's coming on the 31st. i think it'd be funn!! i am imagining myself.. having a huge laugh making up those lyrics to his song that i never knew of! :))
bailamosss~ nannananannanananananaaa~ tequiero~ blabblaablaa~
or maybe..
bruubruublaablaa naanaa doo dooo.. hero~!
hahhahahahhaha!!! (cracking myself up)

o yeah, practically we spent like... 3 hours sitting around there. :) what a view, ya lily?? there's some nice-looking guys over uncle don's. hahhahahha! :x pity that they all seemed short! (lucky you, lily!! :p) and one guy kinda reminds me of azarul! hahhahahahhaha!! bole lak. our (me and lily) favorite was this one guy who helped out to change the charcoal. ehh, i just notice.. lily, that guy rupa melayu lahh!! what happen to your pretty boys aaa? ekekkekeke :p

ohh, earlier tonight i had a chat with dear hanis :x hanis hanis hanissssssssss!!!! :x she's doing fine over there in niponn! though she's having some difficulty finding a house. :) so proud of her.. VERY VERY!! she managed to get tokodai university after all!! aaah~ that smart punk! :x so proud!!! she succeeded with this other girl and one boy. aaahh~ smart punks they are! :)) maannn, i am missing this lady terribly at this moment.
she'd listen to my every single detail no matter how many times i've repeated it before! hahhahahah!! and i know she was bored the whole time, but i tell it again anyways!! hahahhahahaha!! a shame that she won't be here with the people that truly loves her on her bithday this coming april..
hanis hanis hanisssss!!!! no one can replace youuuu!! and i don't want anyone to! :x rindunyerrhhhhhhhh!!!!!
*scream hysterically.... VERY hysterical*

should go to sleep now. i should wake up early tomorrow (today!) morn to get our posters printed. and i need to do this simple task hanis gave me :)
and i also need to clear out this silly crankiness.

you.. it's always you.. it's always you~ (somehow)

*hides face under pillow*

lol!

BUZZ!!!
lily: anda buhsan tengok maya??
lily: anda buhsan duduk dlm bilik sorang sorang??
lily: anda dah buhsan dengan pc anda yg lembab lagi buduh?
lily: anda buhsan dengan cuaca yg panas?
lily: jangan risau!
lily: sekarang
lily: kami akan bawa anda ke hartamas utk bershisha
me: wooohhhh~!!!!
lily: anda bole menikmati shisha berperisa mango mint dan pinapple mint
lily: kenderaan akan siap untuk menjemput anda pada pukul 930
me: woohooo~!!
lily: lagu kuar: mari lah mari..
lily: mari bershisha!
me: marilaahhhhh!!!
lily: hahhahaa
lily: best

hahahhaha!! what cool friends i have.. prisca is plain crazy and rosie is just nice!! :x
[ 9:01 pm]
------------------------------

mama: dah makan?
me: blomm.. tak rase nak makan.
mama: takde duit ke?
me: heehee.. adee.. tak rase nak makan jee.. tengoklah nanti kalo makan..
mama: okay, makan tau!
(a conversation i had with my mom yesterday..)

" makan tauu "

that would be the most frequently-said line i've ever heard in my entire life. okaaay, i guess that kinda proves that i SHOULD eat, 'aight? but i don't knowww.. sometimes even when i'm SUPER hungry, i still don't feel like eating. every food seemed BORING and i end up asking myself WHAT do i really want.. :-S
so what have i been stuffing myself with since yesterday..? fried chicken (late lunch with rosie!! :x).. orange juice.. the day before yesterday's vanilla coke :)).. and oreo. ohh! and that star-shaped candy prisca gave me.. :D and probably some colgate. :))
haaah~ i feel like i should be eating but maaaaannnn i am soooooo laaaazzyyyyyyy!!!!!

i am feeling bored right now.. i can't find anything to surf about.. and i've finished designing the poster (it's not brilliant, though..) and i have spent at least 2 hours doing absolutely nothing than lying awake in my bed.. (okay, so i did stare the plank above my bed)
this is soooooooooooooooooo... bluerthhhh!!


You are the chinese element of Fire. People who
are under the element of fire are considerate,
sensitive and communicative. Fire, you are a
conjuror, and you hate boredom, butterfly
emotions and you also crave excitement. The
color of fire is red and your symbol is the
phoenix. Summer is the season in which fire
shines and it's months are April/May. Your
weather condition is heat. Fire is the
direction south, and your day is Tuesday, while
your planet is Mars. Animals under your
element are usually winged. People under you
are the Hans. Your sense is taste, whereas
your taste is bitter, your sound is laughing
and your virtue is prosperity. Your organ is
the heart. You were created by Wood and you
control Metal.


Which of the 5 Chinese Elements Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah, i do have an animation to work on.. but do i have to do it TODAAAAY?:(

Cautioners by Jimmy Eat World

The time I would spend with pictures I would not send.
I watched you go from left to right.
I followed you all night across my blinds.

You'll change your mind come monday
and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.

I'm making my peace, making it with distance.
Maybe that's a big mistake.
You know I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.

You'll change your mind come monday
and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
You'll take your steps away from me.
You'll change your mind come monday
and turn your back on me.
Take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.

maybe i should just waste my time lying in bed again...

i wish i was asleep.

why can't i sleep?
:(

was pondering about some things as i lie in my bed. questioning about things in life. and i know i have no answer to any of it, and yet i keep on wondering.

will i forever be in my thoughts? keep on asking if there's anything else i can do. i wish i knew more of everything. and i've been wishing for that since forever.

in the darkness of this room i still wonder, if i can always keep my head straight. i know i will bump my head into something pretty soon, but will i be able to get up again if i fall?

haaah~ thoughts.. why can't you keep me alone, o head. should you speak to me in this silence? the very thing i can hear ever so clearly.

b-( gedebikk!

i think i speak to myself very fluently.. and that's why it's easy for me to "amuse" myself. i practically have another person inside of me that can't quit yapping!!

2:43 pm
imperfect.. i simply am!
bluerghhh!! i am angry with myself for that.. and for not letting go a past to just pass... b-(

ohh, for you guys who are going to see incubus, HAVE FUN!!
i have loaaaaaads of stuff i should do, i'd be super-crazy/irresponsible if i tag along. enough damages done 'til this day!!

ohh, i am uplifted with mama's call.. i wanna go home!!! hahahhahaha!!
thanks mama! :x

*sigh*

amused myself... (yet again!)

ahhahahahah ahhahahahha ahhahahahhahahah ahahhahahahahhahah ahhahahahhahahahahha hahahahahhahahahhah ahhahahahhahaha hahahahhaha ahhahahahhahah ahhahahahahhaha hahahhahah ahahahhahahhaha hahahhaha!!!!!

b-(
gedebikkk!
amek kau!

*tuk* to myself as well... :-S

i'm not talking.. if you noticed..
hahhahahahhaha!!
majuk [-( majuk!
ekekekkekekekekke!!

lily: hahahaha
lily: mmg degil
ekekkekekekekke!! so i laugh at myself yet again.. *tuk*
i must have at least laughed twice on my walk.. gosh, why did God made me to be this person who can easily amuse herself?? macam gila juga laa.. :))
but all is fine.. 'aight? :D :D

i just lost one reasoning in my head..
everything seem to look very.. normal now. :)

lily's sexuality ought to be questioned, now. hahhahahahhahahahahhahah!! :))

now, BEHOLD!!!

you remember this photo i posted some months (?) ago? now i own it!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAA!! (brag!) mine is orange, though.. i find it disturbingly annoying how i keep picking RED for everything b-(
no credits to shahnon (though he adores orange for soooo long!) 'coz i like orange now on my own! hahahhahahahhaha!! :p
now, i am taking care of this preciousss (thanks ninaaaa!!!) so don't you EVER think of stepping on it or there'll be stars up on your face! X( (the sole of the shoe are star-decorated)

had fun with myself..
and now...
i should get to the toilet or i'll wet my pants! hahahhahahahahhahahahahhahha!!
banyak sangat minum lah today! :))

o, what life!

should make myself busy.. SHOULD!! hahahahhahah!!
jelesnye ngan bebudak UiTM.. musz, arep.. sheeya! nak cuti jugaaaaaaaaaaaaaakk!!!!!!

all that was is again

loving that line right now.
thank you converse re-issue :D

i wonder to myself how i am still like this. :D
remembering, wanie kan kuaaat~
hahhahahahha!!
it's a wonder that i'm trying my best to keep a word that i hold some weeeeks ago. :-S

this is a picture i took from our design process' location, lubuk merbau

working on some poster designs now, and i don't think i'm really good at it. :-S

ohh! had lunch with lily in P16 and the place was pretty neat!! :D if only it wasn't so hot outside.. then it'd be SUPER!

liking this line as well..
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?
ekkekeke! tengkiu wahai faizal.

@_@

http://www.inicia.es/de/Turbo_J/metele.html
loving this link!!! helps some loads for some de-stressing! :))

if i were to do it in real life.. a hit for everytime my computer does it's weird things, my computer would at least look like this!


pictures on lily's bithday occasion is up on photos > friends!
Seoul Bulgogi.. yummyyyy~!!

sleepyyy!!
i have loads of things to do.. today and tomorrow. loaaads of things.. and somehow i haven't started much other than just talking about it.. *tuk*

Color Quiz

did this..
i am quite.. dizzy, trying to understand these.. so i'm not really sure if it's true.. :-S

Your Existing Situation
Having difficulty making progress and unwilling to put forth further effort. Seeking more comfortable conditions where she can avoid anything disturbing.

Your Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood or adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.
Clings to her belief that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to her choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment.

Your Desired Objective
Wishes to find her stimulation in a voluptuous atmosphere of sensuous luxury.

Your Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

Your Actual Problem #2
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.

urghh.. i'm still dizzy, but i find SOME quite.. (quite, i say) true..

o, what life~!

:D
:D
:D

ignore my last post.. i don't feel that way any longer. :D
not sure if i'm just forgiving.. but i think i am mostly forgetful! :D

and i had lots of things to tell before, but somehow i don't feel like telling them any longer.
thanks dear rosie for spending the rest of the afternoon with me.
you just made my mood sooo much lighter.
i thank God for bumping me into you in this life, and i'm sooo very sorry for all the wrong doings i had ever done to you. you're a much much nicer sagittarian than i am.. :D

haaah~!
lighter mood.
hope this will last.. really like this kind of feeling! :D

loving this pic from Seoul Bulgogi

thanks for the pic, dear lily! :D

no thanks to dar for getting me addicted to Hoobastanks's The Reason :)) :p
liking this sooong!! :x

gotta make myself busy now!!
no more hanky panky, ya wanie oit!

arses.. that's what you guys are!

just passing on the torch from dear lily.

horrible horrible people i get with!
arses in fact!
arses that talk, arses that thinks they're better, stupid stupid arses that crap about!! X(
actually i am mostly pissed with one particular arse.. but somehow i am starting to diss about the other arses as well.

hahhahahahahha!!
i feel a bit light-hearted now.. i just imagined a real arse walking and talking bad about me.
haihh~ wish i could just kick it.

it cannot be helped.. arses.. will always be...... arses.

funny.. i feel bad for wondering to myself if i really didn't do my job.
but i did what i was told..
and now, when i ask if there's anything more i can help, you guys just brushed me off.
what's up with that, a*hole??!!
is it us that didn't do our job, or you who didn't give us any room to do any job??

urghhh!! i feel like cursing a lil' bit more, but i think i've already conveyed my points.

marahnyeee :(
life is so unfair. and people are so judgemental even when they don't know the whole story.
not saying i am telling the right one, in fact i ask you to find the complete story! and if you find me and my small group of friends are the guilty one, only then we deserve this punishment.

and to that particular arse....
WE'RE NOT SCARED OF YOU LAAAHH!!! NEVER!! EVER!!! PERASANNNN!!!
the only reason we let you speak before is so that the job can still be done, tau!!
kalo nak cari gado, anytime laa.. just tell me when!
i don't need people like you to be associated with me.. at all!

grRRrRrrRrRr!!

meow.

:D

>:D<

happy again..

can you see? :D

i am addicted to you again.. no doubt about that. :p

thank youuuuuuuuuuu~!!!!

*gedebikk*

b-(

haihh.. if i didn't care at all, i wouldn't feel as horrible as this..

sorry, gurl!
i'm not a very bright person, am i?

haihh.. guek sememangnya bukan temen yang baikk.

who says i ever am? :))

Seoul Bulgogi

spent rm46 on dinner!!!! :o but i had a good time, (and it shows!) it makes me happy that i made somebody happy though she was the one who's supposed to be the happiest. but i made her happy!!! so that makes me happy.. and now everyone's happy!! weeeeeeee~!! ekekkeke!!
are you dizzy yet? :D :D
i'm in a good mood, and it shows, 'aight? :D
happy belated, bahijaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
hope you had funn!! it's a wonder that she actually said it made her happy that she saw me happy.. hahhaha!! macam hari wanie lak :p

three cheers for the fate that my friends' birthday doesn't fall straight in a row!!!
hip hip hooray~! hip hip hooray~! hip hip hooraay~!!
ekekkeke!!

had fun. had fun. had fun.

though we didn't get to do our ritual rabu, i still had funn!! you hobbitses (and jai!) are so much funnnn!!!
pictures to be uploaded tomorrow, hopefully! :D
tunggu bahijah ni haa.. dia kat umah, takleh nak kasi gamba. :p

tomorrow's the presentation for media process..
why am i feeling this nervous??? :-S maybe 'coz i am not taking part in the post-production.. so i don't know how it's going... ayako san!! can i see the video yet???? :-S

*curse*

Tutor of MC117
R 2027, Faculty of Creative Multimedia,
MULTIMEDIA UNIVERSITY,
Jalan Multimedia,
63100 Cyberjaya,
Selangor Darul Ehsan.
March 10, 2004


REASONS OF MY ABSENCE FOR LECTURE CLASSES


Dear Miss,


I’ve checked the attendance list today, on the intranet and find my name to be barred for not attending the lecture classes for MCA 1013, Digital Animation.

2. Firstly I’d like to apologize for not coming into class even though I know what the consequences are.
3. I cannot give an exact reason for not attending the lectures on any particular date, but I believe that I occupied myself with other assignments most of those Tuesdays, 11 am to 1 pm.
4. As I am a student of Creative Multimedia Faculty, I am also taking a subject named Media Process. This subject requires me to go outside of the university premises to get the assignments done. I believe it is unfair of me to make priority of this subject than Digital Animation and that will be a mistake I regret if I get barred from the final exams.
5. And on March 2nd 2004, I was in Kuala Lumpur the entire day, doing an assignment for Media Production where I was needed to do a shooting of a video clip.
6. It was irresponsible of me to not think of these lectures of any importance, but I did try to make up for it by going to the tutorials. Maybe my attendance on those tutorials won’t make any impression that I am a better person since I have been absent on most of the classes as well, but I hope it can help me to get out from this position.
7. It is important for me not to get barred from taking the final exam paper and retake this subject the next time it will be offered. It was stupid and irresponsible of me to take these attendances as measly as I did before, but I am not wholly a terrible person. I’ve made my mistake, and you’ve made your point by wanting to bar me. I’ve never been barred or almost-barred before and that’s a proof that I am not usually this careless. This has been my most hectic semester and I am really trying my best to get by.

I hope you will take these matters into your considerations in making your decision whether to bar me or not. Your considerations are highly appreciated.


Yours truly,
Ida Hazwanie Mohd Idris

takotnyeee!!!!!!! :-S

If I Am

bluerthhhhhhh!!!!!!!

i don't know what is wrong with me.. i am just.. wrong! i break my own heart.

i feel so down.
incapable of so many things.

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall
So far down, or maybe you were thinking about jumping

And you could have it all,
If you learned a little patience
For though I cannot fly,
I'm not content to crawl
So give me a little credit,
Have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever,
If tomorrow's not too late

But it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
And you should never let the sun set on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises today

If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

So you're walking on the edge,
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone, that you don't see the hands up held to catch you

And you could find the fault,
In the heart that you've been handed
But though you cannot fly,
You're not content to crawl

And it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
But you should never let the sunset on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises

If I am,
Another waste of everything you hope for, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down...

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall...

If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

The answers we find are never what we had in mind,
So we make it up as we go along
You don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow
We won't make those promises that we can't keep

I will never leave you
I will not let you down
I will never leave you
I will not let you down...

haihhh!! wish i could keep all this down.

*shiver*

okaaaaaaayyyyy!

having such bad moods these days.

i think i need more money.
but i feel so guilty for asking more from my parents.
maybe i should consider 'stop eating'.

haven't celebrated lily's birthday. okay.
don't know what's more to say.
hopefully sometime soon.. or.. i don't know.

i shouldn't talk much with this kind of mood that i am having.
in fact, i shouldn't talk at all!

so i'll just leave it at this.
very dizzy, i am.
[ 9:53 pm]

so cold lahhhh!!!! :-S

had quite a scary afternoon..
saw the first group of media production's presentation.
somehow i got nervous watching them all.. :-S
agak suka garu garu kosong's video. (o brother!!) jangan perasan pliss.. kepada sesiapa yang berkenaan :p but i know norman commented that it wasn't good enough.
nervous semula..

and then i was reminded of my cow-ness. God help!! :-S fingers crossed that ayako-san won't be using a certain cow-ish part that we took on the shooting.
jelesnyeeeerrr!!!
takutnyeeerrrrrr!!
:-S

takut.

then the feeling continued as me and the hobbitses followed mr norman to his room to talk about our song. and then...
i don't know what exactly to say but i guess.... a virgo and a libra does not mix too well.. :-S
takut.
saw the white board and it was crowded!! :)) my doodle was still there.. and then i saw kak yan's close nearby! :D and then since i was there, i decided to re-doodle my doodle. :D :D

and then somehow we got to malee, listening to mr norman's life while he was in america.. which mostly was fascinating!! that old fella has got some neat things to say, ya?
a quote from mr norman;
never fall in love with your own song
he quoted that from his music teacher, and i think it's true! 'coz when you fall in love, you tend to get blind from anything else in the world. and if someone talked about our loved one, we tend to not listen to them at all..

dots

*sigh*

hahhahhahahahhahahahahha ahha hahahahhaha hahahahah ahahhahahahahha ahhahahahahhaha aha ahhahahahahahahha ah hahahahahahahahahah ahahahha ahahahahahhahaha ahahahhahahaha a a hahahahahhahahaha ahahaha ah hahahahahahahahahahhahahah ahahahhaha ahahahhahahahaha ahahaha !!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry.
nuts.

went out with prisca to get our slides developed. bakway is no longer bakway.. did anyone knew that?? it is now a snooker place. klakar la juga. tengok tengok pintu ade lucky-eight ball pula. kedai gamba ape nihhh??? :)) so we went to the photo shop some doors away. have to wait til tomorrow for the film to be developed. :( time-waster! but since we also have some normal films, we got those developed within an hour.
dapat lah juga menghayati gambar yang ade. can't wait til tomorrow though!! i prefer the photos i took with those slides. oh, bumped into lily and rosie on our way back as they send in their slides.:D

still feeling a bit dizzy.
and i feel like laughing a lil bit more.

who says i'm a good friend? i am not.
don't bother messaging my yahoo. it's not even online.

*sigh*

toloooonglah kepalaaa!!
gilok!
must be the bump i had while in perak.. :-S

if you see down there, the part where my specialty is, you should believe those 'coz i haven't yet been able to remember a week i am without a cut or a bruise.
currently i have two! hahhahahhahahaha!! tapak kaki and forehead.

gilok!
[8:31 pm]

i've come to accept the fact that i've been hoping too much for things to come out right
been wishing too hard

have been looking up to the stars too much
if only i can blame the moon for shining so bright among the dark clouds
if only i can blame the stars for twinkling in the midnight sky
i must be stupid for believing that i can reach for the stars
believing that a shooting star would fall right into these small hands.

should i blame you for giving me light when it was dark?
could i blame you for giving me directions when i was lost?
would i blame you for being there when i wanted to see you there?

i wish to see a single star in the night sky everytime i look up
so i can wish for you
..that you will always be around
for me.

will you be here for me if i ask you to?
would you be here with me if i want you to?
but i don't know how to get what i want
don't know what i exactly want.

i feel like i should chase you away.
away and far from me.
seems like it's only you that i've been talking about
my head doesn't want it,
but it just came naturally to my lips.
but can i?
can i chase you away?

heart o heart, why do you keep calling for this name?

no i don't want to drown you out
for the thoughts of you have made me happy for many days
it is me that i want to drown out
in the deep sea water where i can't get back up.

so..
would you start if you could?
..'coz i wouldn't.
i am feeling scared
and it is beyond your imagination.

a practical pig

EPPY BIRTHDAY BAHIJAAAAH~!!

happy birthday dear lily!
hope you'll have a great year ahead!
have fun!! jangan ponteng kelas! :))
2 plus 0 only equals to 2! you're still a baby lah! :D

such a weird day.
happy for some things.. lily's birthday.. dida's first day at work..
but i don't feel all so festive somehow.
hollow.

barely breathing.

maybe i'll write more later.

moooo~

Tentang Seseorang

F#m D
Teruntukmu hatiku
E A
Inginku bersuara
F#m D
Merangkai semua tanya
E A
Imaji yang terlintas

Bm C#m
Berjalan pada satu
C# F#m
Tanya selalu menggangguku
Bm
Seseorang
E A
Itukah dirimu kasih? (fill)

F#m D
Kepada yang tercinta
E A
Inginnya kumengeluh
F#m D
Semua resah di diri
E A
Mencari jawab pasti

Bm C#m
Akankah seseorang
C# F#m
Yang diimpikan kan hadir?
Bm
Raut halus
E A
Menyelimuti jantungku

reff:

Bm E
Cinta hanyalah cinta
A F#m
Hidup dan mati untukmu
Bm C#
Mungkinkah semua tanya
F#m
Kau yang jawab?
Bm E
Dan tentang seseorang
A F#m
itu pula dirimu
Bm C F#m Gm F#m Gm F#m
Kubersumpah akan mencinta


solo:

---F#m---------D-----------------E--------------A
|--------12------------------------------------------------
|--9/10---------10--9--10--------------------------------
|--------------------------11-----11--9---------9---------
|----------------------------------------9-9h11-----11---
|-----------------------------------------------------------
|-----------------------------------------------------------

Bm C#m
Akankah seseorang
C# F#m
Yang diimpikan kan hadir?
Bm
Raut halus
E A
Menyelimuti jantungku

Bm E
Cinta hanyalah cinta
A F#m
Hidup dan mati untukmu
Bm C#
Mungkinkah semua tanya
F#m
Kau yang jawab?
Bm E
Dan tentang seseorang
A F#m
itu pula dirimu
Bm C F#m Gm F#m Gm F#m
Kubersumpah akan mencinta


int: F#m Bm F#m Bm C#

reff 2 times

Coda: Gm F#m Gm F#m Gm

fill
----A
|---5-------------|
|-------6---------|
|-----------7-----|
|------------------|
|------------------|
|------------------|

by Anda
[3:33 am]

- insert curse here -

this feels just like PMS, only different!

i actually know why i am feeling this way, just that i don't know how to explain it or let it out.
*curse*
macam...
urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
things are so damn frustrating right now!!
wish i can just say what i wanted to say but i can't!! i really can't!! why??
because i will sound majorly stupid!!
i will!! i am!!!!
urghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

and my winamp is currently playing a song that is so......
*scream*
gila!!!!
toloooooooooooooooong!!!!!!

everything seem to fall into the wrong places.
why does it feel soooooooo hard on me this day?
hahhahahahha!! (gelak gila)
heartache heartache
puppy!!!!!!!!!!

bosan aku dengan penat

you arse!!

cursing at my stupid computer. :( it's creating some horrible problems these days!! infuriates, worries and saddens me at the same time. :(

i'm going crazy all of a sudden. don't talk to me.

quite tired!!
just got back from perak. photo shooting with dear prisca and drogo.
had a good time. our spot was quite neat!! i finished my roll of film within the fifteen to thirty minutes time. even had to buy an extra film afterwards 'coz i spent my both rolls of slide ever so quickly. :D
should be a busy day tomorrow.. so i better get more rest.
penat.
penat.

penat dengan semuanya.
somehow.

" i'm not afraid of you being my boyfriend.. i'm afraid that you'll be my ex-boyfriend "

still loving that line from an episode of Ed i saw somewhere last year. :D

gets me dizzy when i think about the things i really wanted to say..
things i wanna ask...
a scare.
getting that scare.
i'm afraid that i am capable of saying the wrong things..
afraid for the fact that i am already messed around to have anything else to commit to..
my priorities are already jumbled up by my own doings. shouldn't let anyone jumble it up more than it already is, should i? could be that person can help me straighten it out.. help me see things clearer.. but i don't know..
entahlaaah~
dah tak tahu pasal ape ape pon..
maybe i don't want to know any longer.
if things should happen, then it'll happen. 'aight?

if only i knew how to put what i truly feel through all these words..
i am becoming numb..
just saying these for the sake of it.
still want you to be around.. but maybe not as bad as it used to.
i don't know.. i really really don't know...
*sigh*

anywayssss!! updated some things on photos!
and here are some silly things i get from those email forwards! (i actually spent some while just copying it out and turning it to a page! bluethh!)
characters of a zodiac sign
in love with which zodiac?

did this quiz!

Protector


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

i have a problem of ending what i've started.

"entahlaaah~"

i just don't know anymore.. about anything...
i wish i do...

anyways!! somehow this song got stuck in my head just now.. i don't know.. should it mean anything? heehee~!
In My Place by Coldplay

In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost,
Oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost,
Oh yeah

Yeah,
How long must she wait for it?
Yeah,
How long must she pay for it?
Yeah,
How long must she wait for it?
Oh for it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and under prepared
But I’ll wait for it

If you go, if you go
Leave me down here on my own
then I’ll wait for you (yeah)

Yeah,
How long must she wait for it?
Yeah,
How long must she pay for it?
Yeah,
How long must she wait for it?
Oh for it.

Singing
Please, please, please
come back and sing to me
to me, me

Come on and sing it out,
Now, Now
Come on and sing it out,
To me, me
come back and sing

In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah....

i'm loving home even much more these days.. entah! everytime i had to leave, i feel sooooooooo reluctant to. :(
dida's at home now!! weeeeee~! she's starting work on 8th.. oops! tarikh ape tu??
lupaa.. lupaaa.... :p
lily and rosie had already left for johor this afternoon. wish that lily would somehow have fun.. (poor you!!) she should give no demm about 'that thing'.. so i think she'll find a way to make everything seemed good somehow. :D
and tomorrow me and prisca will be leaving for perak with drogo!! heehee! sedikit excited but stupidly, i left the digicam at home! urghhhhh!!! sangat bengang!!!!!!! i've been forgetting things sooo much these days!! geraaaaammmm!!! :( hope we'll have fun ya hobbitses!!!! :x
gonna work on some things now..
pictures and pages to be posted up.. :D

oh, prisca..
congrats on the P~!!!
bole pula nak tipu orang dia fail.. :p

crap bag

a bagful of crap

feeling quite that way right now.
it seemed apparent that me and my friends are not doing very well in studies.
saw miss zaiha just now to ask her about our task and if i were to put in her shoes, i'd be super-annoyed with the answers we gave to her questions.
earlier, miss mastura told me that i should work harder on my assignments and study for the finals.
sorry.
i feel sorry for myself.. for being this lazy and being this unfocused and irresponsible. how can i anticipate gamma when my attitude is this way? *curse at myself*
sorry wanie.
pathetic!
i hate myself for being this way..

and i'll be going home tonight.. will be going to perak on friday for design process assignment. hope i won't feel as crappy as this by then.. hope that i won't be as useless as this by then..
and i'm pondering about something at this moment and it's bringing up the insecurity inside of me.. i'm scared.. of something.. but somehow.. i want to let this thought go.
'coz maybe...
i may seem to care about things.. when honestly, i don't care enough.. i never cared enough.. never..
i must be crazy for not caring as much as i should........
it's never enough.......................

this should end.

SNEAK PREVIEW #4 !!!!

okay.. so this wasn't on our video clip but i HAVE to let some things out.

SEREMBAN: A south-bound commuter train rammed into another stationary commuter train Tuesday evening, injuring 42 people, seven of them seriously.
Thousands of passengers, on the evening rush home here, were stranded following the 6.15pm collision.
The collision affected inter-city train services heading to Singapore and the East coast.
The trains, heading to Seremban from Rawang, collided just before a tunnel leading to the KTM station here.
They were carrying some 600 passengers at the time, most of them heading home after work. more from the star..
nina was on that train.. and if some of you already knew how i really feel about my brother in law..... urgghhhh!!! if anything happens to my dear sister, i believe i am CAPABLE of strangling him to DEATH!!! i know it's not fair since the collision doesn't concern jasmin at all but i feel the need to blame someone and i'll blame HIM if nina even got a scratch!!!
thank God, He still loves her.. (and loves jasmin as well, apparently or he'll sure be dead by now..) and she came out unharmed though she was sitting at the last gerabak (sorry, don't know what's the english word!)
hahhhh.. thank God!!!!!!!!! i swear, i'd hate to get any smses like mama gave me last night ever again. tolonglaaaaah! :-S

hummph~
anyways, yesterday/this early morning was our last day of shooting (most probably!) i didn't do anything much.. played around most of the time.. sorry korang! i know i wasn't much of a help. not sure why.. was i too tired or sleepy? or was i just simply lazy? humm~ i'm not quite sure.
but yesterday's location was neat! though a bit costly on the budget.. :D tapi takpe.. the sleep was okay, kan? :D

this was on a part of our set.. :D


drogo was inspecting the toilet.. ekkekek!! pakar bombom kite.. ekkeke!!


loving this photo sooooooo much!!!! looks like a cover of a girlband's album, don't you think? :D

some days ago nina said this to me, "waaah~ tudung wanie transparent ye!" huhuuu~
macam dah lupa.. seb baik wanie pakai tudung bukan untuk nazar or as a promise. (kalau ye, berdosanye sayee~)

now fingers are crossed that the editing will be as great as the shots we have!! :x
ganbatte ne ayako san!! :D

sleepy.. and yet a bit sleepless.. still.

SNEAK PREVIEW #3 !!!!

as promised..
these were taken yesterday.. :D

hehhe.. this time, even the professor gets onto the set!! :D


this was taken at our second location.. :D loving this pic 'coz it looks sooo cool!! (at least i think so!) heehee~


at our final location for the day.. our multi-talented producer and multi-talented lights person doing their entertaining act for the camera!

heehee! that's it! tomorrow should be our final shooting!! *fingers crossed*

okay.. i thank God for putting me into my mama and papa's arms about 19 years ago. can't imagine if i belonged to any other family. :)
dida calls me "ratu air mata".. hahhaha!! bongok btol.
my itch was scratched last night.. heehee~! mama called last night and somehow i broke down.. and nina told me that everyone panicked and they came down straight to pick me up. :x huhuu~ i know i'm spoilt. :p
kinda cried three times just last night.. lame, yess. but at least i get what i want!!! hahhaha!!!
thanks papa.. thank you mama.. thank you nina.. thank you dida.. thanks kat izzati jugek sebab dia kiut!! heehee~!

so i'm finally felling normal.. still tired.. wish i could go to sleep (but i have LOAAADS of things to do!!) but i don't think i'll cry again tonight. heehee!

hugsess to my family and those hobbitsess!!!

SNEAK PREVIEW #2 !!!!

finally having the time to sit down and relax. but i decide to blog instead! :D
had a reaaaaaaaaally long day!! started from yesterday morning as i woke up early to register my majoring. :) MI 'coz they're mostly whacked. heehee. (seb baik bangun awal!!!! my sleep was restless pon..) then me and lily went out to get some approval for our location :D and getting some props. the morning lasted 'til about 5 pm!! :-S had a bit of shut-eye before going to d'melor for our next scene of the video clip.

some problems arised that night (last night lahh!) that forces fungusamongus to extend our schedule by one day. (next tuesday-wednesday!) but i do thank wanieblond and all her housemates for letting us use their home for our shooting. we were there from 8 pm til about 6 am!! so really.. thank you!

...i wish i can actually play a guitar.. for real.. hummphh!! wishful thinking lahh!

anyways, then we all went back for a short rest and shower before going out again for the third day of shooting. (from 7:30 am to 11:30 am) :D today was FUNNNN!!! had a great time.. you were really great lily!! getting the approval for that place! and i'm such a good sidekick as well, sebab temankan! ahhahahha!! fingers crossed so that all the trouble was not a waste (at all!) and the end product will turn fabulous!! :D :D
ohh!! i thank mostly for encik ahmad hashim and encik sulaiman for today!! heehee~! :x

today's shoot actually ends around 7 pm. after that 11:30 am, we all had our rests and get back out at 4 pm. :)
so here's some sneak preview from the second day's shoot! :D you'll have to wait for tomorrow for the third installment.. heehee! tomorrow is a resting-day, so i'll post today's pictures tomorrow. :)

our lighting person.. entertaining and serba boleh!! banyak btol dia take part, ya?


on the set.. everyone's looking tired from all the work.


powerpuff girls on the set!!! heehee~ well, if you already knew who those two powerpuff are, fine. but if you don't.. it'll remain as a surprise 'til the final product!! :D

eh alamaakk.. dah kul 9 lebeyyy..! gotta get my shower first! :D my hair is all stiff.
super tired!!!!! but relieved for that most of our scenes are done! :)

i think i stink!

-----

okay.. i feel lame..
i am halfway to breaking down 'coz i'm tired and i want to go home!
somebody tolong cucikan baju wanieeeeeeee!! tak laraaaaaaaattt!!! :((

still tired .

super duper tired.
a headache is coming on pretty soon.

soo many things to tell!! but i'm just too freaking tired.
(sneak preview #2 and #3 are coming up!) ..when lily transfers the photos onto the pc.

super duper tired.

the end.

tired .

freaking tired.
me and lily manage to enrich our foul-language vocabularies since these couple of days. we're so good for each other, ya? :D

freaking tired.

the end.

SNEAK PREVIEW #1 !!!!

yess you read it right!!
i'm giving away a sneak preview of our video clip!!!
since the original plan was a 3-days shooting, i'm going to have it in 3 posts! so here.. today's shoot!! :D

a supposedly-nice scene of the sky from a secret spot at a secret location.


the artist/supposedly-camera person gets to kick the producer during the shoot. that's the whole idea, a punkly video music.


the lighting person gets a dip into the pool as she gets a calling to get in.

yeahh.. don't believe a thing i say.. :D
horribly tired!! and we - hobbitses are supposed to go out again at 7!! no, not for work.. but just for fun! AHHAHAHA!! drogo's having his final paper today and it's been a while since the last time he hung out with us.. :)
gonna get some rest nowww!!!!
ohh.. mama topped up my credit earlier today!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!!
domo arigatou okaasan!!!!!

and heyy.. my name is on today's bulletin board!!

By today bulletin on Fri, 27th February 2004
Expired date : 01-Apr-2004
For MMU campus: Cyberjaya ~ Department: ADMISSION
Category : Announcement/Memo/Circular



Title : URGENT:IDA HAZWANIE MOHD IDRIS- CYBER

SILA BERJUMPA DENGAN PN. LINDA DI BAHAGIAN KEMASUKAN PELAJAR & BIASISWA
(BANGUNAN STC-TINGKAT 2) DENGAN KADAR SEGERA BERKENAAN DENGAN PERJANJIAN
PINJAMAN MMU ALPHA LOAN ANDA.

SEKIAN, HARAP MAKLUM.



BAHAGIAN UNIT BIASISWA CYBERJAYA

i wonder what's this about....
thanks shahnon for informing this!!! :) been a looooong while since i last checked the bulletin board, myself. :D

nowwww i'm getting my rest!

period sucks !!

it really is..
who says being a girl is easy?? period really sucks!!
i thank God that i don't have period pains or really bad cramps. maybe once or twice but not every month like someone i know.. thank God for that.. but period really sucks!! it restricts oneself no matter what the sanitary-pad ads says!! and what i mostly hate about periods is the back-ache that comes with it!! urghhhhhhh!!! might as well i have my back removed (for a short while lah! i do need it to move around lah kan..) heehee!
still.. period sucks!!!!!!!!!!
can't wait for this next 6 days to be over!!

just spent the whole day outside.
tiring. VERY!
and tomorrow should be a looooong day for fungusmongus!! tomorrow will be our first day shoot!! *cheers* kinda excited.. but it gets me a wee bit cranky, considering the time i SHOULD get up in the morning. early. VERY!!

i have a pretty okay mood so i'll tell you everything about today! :D
stayed in bed until noon 'coz i don't feel like being awake for the world just yet. at two, went for design process. chematto gave some briefing about our next - last assignment!! weeeeeeee~! i say i'm excited about that one too.. though it'll be costly, but heyy!! at least we'll get to have a ROAD TRIP!!! woo~hoo!!! *jigs*
(ps: you may find some probably-new words in the blog. trying to improve my vocabulary these days. :))
chematto was quite amusing today.. he entertained us by doing this cute/silly frog impression. i really laughed at that one 'coz he was trying SO hard to be real. heehee. and today he was a little more imaginative than the usual.. so yeah.. he really amused me today. :D
then it was time to register our shooting place and partner. somehow we (hobbitses) managed to register quite early and didn't have to wait 'til the room is empty like last time; on the typography assignment. :D good job, hobbitses!! :D :D

afterwards we went to bandar menjalara - lily's home, to get some props for tomorrow's shooting. there was lily, prisca and myself. rosie decided to stay 'coz she was having a headache. at lily's house, the two got some shut-eye as i "entertained" myself with the archie's comics lily had. really love those comics!!!! i spent most of my extra money buying those comics on those school days! :D improve english lah konon, but i believe it does help me get use to english :D
anyways! then we had quite-a-big-dinner-for-three at uptown before going back to cyberjaya.
then went to drogo's place to get some more props and finally going back to this room of mine.. feeling extremely dizzy.. sleepy.. and stinky!!! (yeah.. i smell from all the running around i did in the afternoon!! bluerthhh~!) padan muka prisca and lily if they noticed it! HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!! :))
so now that i just had my shower.. i smell nice again! heehee. and straight i type this all out. :D

okay!!
should go to sleep!!

note to self: the heart still skips.

**a bit of update [2:34 am of FEB 27th]

super sleepy.. and yet, sleepless!

just wanted to say that i'm feeling.. in a such light light mood. :D things somehow falls into the right places. :D klakar juga lah.. 'coz i had a dream that tells me things are going on just fine.. and today.. life proved itself! :D guess i'm just lucky.. not lucky, but God loves me.. :D (macam ayat chematto taakk??) heehee~
i'm like.. super-numb right now on my emotions. i mean, i should be excited about something but i'm not.. but undoubtedly.. i am relieved! :D so not really la super numb.. :D but i'm a lil not myself lately.. trying to get there.. and something just reminded me how it should be like.. how i should be like.. :D

ohh! mama smsed me earlier tonight to tell me that she bought a new battery for my 3310! hahha~!! lucky thursdayyy!! :)) i guess, having the phone keep turned off by itself during those conversations made a real note to her! hahhaa!! lucky lucky!! sms la plak kate you'll pass me a rm50 note so i can reload my phone! heehee! :D thank you mama~! please forget to see the digicam! heehee!

i have 3 and a half hours to sleep if i plan to have a shower before shooting. :D really should get my sleep!! and my back is starting to kill me!!!!!

absolutely loving this song!!!!!
Something About You by Five For Fighting

I don't know where to begin
I don't know how to get out there to see you
I don't know where to dig in
I don't how to get in there...to feel you

It's been too long and I'm about to be in time for me
It's been too long and I'm in time

Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold on to that
Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold on to that

I never thought I would win
I never thought much about that
(It's been a long time coming)
I never stopped to begin
Thinking about the process
(It's been a long time coming)

It's been too long and I'm about to be in time for me
It's been too long and I'm in time

Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold on to that
Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold that

And I'm going to be there.... be there...... alright

I don't know where to begin
I don't know how to get out there to see you

Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold on to that
Baby there's something about you that
I can hold on to
I'm going to hold on to that

It's been a long time coming
I'm going to hold on to that

thank youuuu!! you may not know what things actually mean to me :D

f r a g i l e

hummph..!
am i really????
that's a bummer, honestly. feels like.. entahlah!

prisca led me into this. tells your personality (so it said, at least) according to your zodiac sign and blood group. since i never knew my blood type (supposedly either A, B or AB) i asked prisca which one sounded more like me, and she said the one with this line;
The first impression that people get is that you are fragile. They find this need to protect you.
rosie said she once thought of me that way as well...
rase lembik.. verrrry lembikkk!!
hummph..!
must be something i did or didn't do that made them ever thought that way.. bluerthhh~! still need to know my blood group, though! lama btol curiosity ni left, hung! did all those check-ups but i still don't know what's my blood group. merepek btol.
anyways, the rest of my line goes this way though;
But they are startled once they see your strength. New friendships seem to make you stronger.
macam.. it makes the whole line become somewhat as if a ray of sunlight coming through some dark clouds.. heehee.. at least it is to me. :D :D

isyk.. i feel like there's so much things to tell but somehow i can't put them into words..

okay, things i've been doing;
been spending most of the day with hobbitses dearest. yesterday and today.. buat macam macam but i don't feel like talking much 'bout that one. (go check prisca's or rosie's blog) all i want to say is that i had a good time yapping with them.. and i managed to get a rhumba earlier today! :x
it's a shame we keep forgetting to bring along a camera. :(

i'm talking again to mama.. (since last night!) :D wait until she sees the digicam.. surely i won't be talking/can't talk to her again! ekkekeke! haiyyo!!! :-S

Is it wise enough to say
That I’m better off without you
Is it cool enough to fake
'cause all that I’ve been breathing is about you

Is it wise enough to flow (flowing down)
From the head until my toes
But somehow I don’t really know
All that I’ve been doing is without you

okay
i was... halfway to typing something to someone some minutes ago. but somehow i 'backspaced' the whole line the second after. somehow it seemed hard to say something out of the blue.. been a bit quiet eh these days?
entah kenapa..
but biarlaaah~
i have nothing much to say, pon. don't feel like making myself stupid just to create a conversation.
so, biarkan.

And on and on my mind keeps saying
This is not what I believe in
This is where it ends
And on and on my mind's made up
And that is why it never stops

head's spinning.
if it weren't for the hobbitses.. i would've stayed offline the whole day long. can't find any reason to stay glued to the screen. i prefer lying in bed for hours these days. if i'm lucky enough i'll doze off.


(ps: sorry hobbitses! sometimes i'm not answering 'coz i am offline.. not just in an invisible mode.. korang miskol lah if anything, ek! i'll be online if i can :D)
i am waaaaay behind on my assignments. running out of time..!!!
and i hate that.
currently worrying about the voice-over assignment, the 1200-1400 words of essay, video clip and creative communication's assignment that i knew nothing about!!!!!

die. x_x

**a bit of update [12:45 am of FEB 26th]
just did a bit of light-reading about anemia. see here if you'd like to read more than just what i'm about to post.

go do a bit of check-up if you have most of these;
1. Extreme fatigue
2. Weakness
3. Shortness of breath
4. Confusion or loss of concentration
5. Dizziness or fainting
6. Pale skin, including decreased pinkness of the lips, gums, lining of the eyelids, nail beds and palms
7. Rapid heart beat (tachycardia)
8. Feeling cold
9. Sadness or depression
these are the major symptoms of anemia, okay!

die. still. x_x

more yago!!

hahhaha!! getting pretty crazy with this dude!!
anyways! i've compiled the yagos me and the hobbitses did!! :D
this is one entertaining assignment! :D



ekkekeke!!
anyways, quiz went horrible! i was clueless most of the time so i settled with things that kinda fits into the blank spaces. ekkeke!! *tuk*
just now hung about in rosie's room. (mimi konon sedang kat kelas!) ekkeke! see her as she did her yago, which was horribly hilarious!! yago yang menari tu rosie yang punya.. tak tahan btol!! then, when walking to buy food at hb3, us both sempat menjadi yago seketika. heehee~ twisted our body in some ways 'cause both of us weren't sure which way to go. heehee..
anyways!! enough of laughing at my own jokes.. i should get some rest!! just had 3 hours of sleep since yesterday..

+_+

meet yago~!

yago: yeahhhh~! nice to meet cha'!


hahhahaha!! so happy tonight. even tomorrow's quiz can't get me upset. worried a bit.. but not enough! heehee! finished mca assignment with the helps of prisca and lily!
and then i was laughing about as i see their work! this one is fun.. :D :D

priscaa!! i don't want to change either!! and so should youuu!! heehee~!
was suppressing a big laugh just now as i read prisca's new entry. (see blog!) berderau ya darah kamu! ekkeke!!
told you two that my anggaran was waaay off! but siapa yang berani kasi juga itu kunci? hahahhahaha!! had fun, though! terima kacehh kerana memberikan saya peluang sebegitu!!
and don't give it to me again!!
guess you two were lucky tonight! ekekkekeke!
domo arigatou!!!!!!!!
ureshii desu~! :D :D

hugs for you hobbitses!!!!


should get some sleep now!!!
supposedly there's class on 9 followed by quiz on 11!
bila ptptn nak masokkkkk???????????????
mau duit mau duitttt


:x :x :x

:D :D :D :D :D

thank you prisca for helping me with yago.. :D
was out with prisca and lily for a while.. had our late dinner (the tapau-ed pizza!) at putra. konon konon a break from doing yago lah~ :D
see prisca and lily got hysterical in the car while going back.. hahhahaha!! it was hilarious in a way.. why? malas nak citer.. go see prisca or lily's blog if they tell it. [-(
kinda wondering about some things but somehow i can't put it into words.. let alone asking "why?" out loud. so i'm here left to ponder things by myself.. but it's fine.. :|
terasa nak bercakap tapi tak tahu apa... so i will let things be.

just if anyone's wondering.. i am perfectly fine.
thank you for wondering..
IF you ever wondered lah..
but if you don't care.. i won't make you to care..
i've resolute to something during all these silence.

I Just Threw Out The Love Of My Dreams by Weezer

i'm so tall
can't get over me
i'm so low
can't get under me
i must be all these things
for i just threw out the love of my dreams

he is in my eyes
he is in my ears
he is in my blood
he is in my tears
i breathe love and see him everyday
even though my love's a world away

oh, he's got me wondering
my righteousness is crumbling

never before have i felt this way
know what is right, want for him to stay
i must be made of steel
for i just threw out the love of my dreams

he is in my eyes
he is in my ears
he is in my blood
he is in my tears
I breathe love and see him everyday
even though my love's a world away

oh, he's got me wondering
my righteousness is crumbling

oh, he's got me wondering
my righteousness is crumbling
and i see him everyday
even though my love's a world away

he is in my eyes
he is in my ears
he is in my blood
he is in my tears
i must be made of steel
for i just threw out the love of my dreams

kinda

elyse sewell

funny name.. ekekkeke

really love this pic of hers.. it's a shame that it's not her that wins the first season of America's Next Top Model. but still.. i love her! 'coz she's pretty real.. and honest. but her mouth is a bit foul sometimes.. i like her anyways!

okay, tadi went brunch with lily, prisca and drogo at pyramid. drogo kepingin pizza and i was kepingin to ikut. heehee~ ate such LOAAAADS that each needed to pay up as much as rm21.50!!! gila. and i owe someone (either drogo or prisca) rm10 'coz i am short of money. harus cucuk sometime soon.
still full from eating.. tadi pon ade tapau but it's with prisca maybe..
poor lily had a "women's-pain" while walking back to the car.. she slept through the journey back. get well soon lily!
kinda sleepy right now. having a minor headache somehow. should rest now but yago's been calling on me..

nanti lah yago!!