i HAVE to post this. kikkiki

You are independent and don't need a guy yet.

What kind of guy are you most attracted to?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are the one who hates to hate but hates to love. You can't decide at all! You have a switching mind and just can't make up your mind. You like someone but then someone else comes and you think they are ugly the next day.

How much do you love?
brought to you by Quizilla

onigiri!

after more than a year since the first time i saw it, i'm still touched when i saw fruits basket again. even the song gets me.
tohru.. tohru.. your naive-ness is so endearing lah!

For Fruits Basket by Ritsuko Okazaki

Totemo ureshikatta yo, kimi ga warai kakede ta
Subete o tokasu hou emi de
Haru wa mada tookute, tsumetai tsuchi no naka de
Me fuku toki o matte ta'n da

Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Kinou no kizu o nokoshite ite mo
Shinjitai kokoro hodo ite yukere to
Umare kawaru koto wa dekinai yo
Dakedo kawatte wa ikeru kara
Let's stay together itsumo

Boku dake ni waratte, sono yubi de nee sawatte
Nozomi bakari ga hateshinaku
Yasashiku shitai yo, mou kuyanu you ni
Nageki no umi mo koete ikou

Tatoe kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage daseta nara
Koko ni ikiteru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobi o shiru
Let's stay together itsumo

Tatoeba kurushii kyou da to shite mo
Itsu ka atatakana omoide ni naru
Kokoro goto subete nage daseta nara
Koko ni ikiteru imi ga wakaru yo
Umare ochita yorokobi o shiru
Let's stay together itsumo

just a note : the lady who wrote/performed this song actually passed away May last year after having a sepsis shock. (some bacterial infection in the bloodstream) Thank you for a beautiful song Okazaki-san!

I was so happy, you were laughing
With a smile that melts everything away
Spring is still far away, inside the cold earth,
Waiting for the time to sprout

For instance, even if today is painful
And yesterday's wounds remain
I want to believe that I can free my heart and go on
I cannot be reborn
But I can change as I go on, so
Let's stay together always

Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting
I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart
I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

homesick.

it feels something like it. i'm just too darn bored at this place and it gets me SO ANGRY and FRUSTRATED!!
i am frustrated for the fact that i did my work so slow that i only manage to get it done at 4, and when i got to the tutor's room, i realize that i stupidly left my sketch on my desk and now i can only pray that she'd accept my sketch tomorrow or she wouldn't even mark my work! (not that it's going to get exellent marks or anything like it,) but i will be really REALLY pissed if it turns out tomorrow that i've wasted my entire today on something i don't remotely like. [scream here]

if only i managed to get my work done by 1pm. i would've jumped on a bus and could be lying in front of the tv with the comfort of home right now. [scream here, again]
and the fact that papa is at home with no one else really bugs me. (dida will be back from labuan tomorrow evening, while mama have been in puteri pan pac for work since sunday) i really hate the thought. just HATE IT!!!! what's worse is that our phone's access has expired so i can't call him and vice versa. I HATE!!! it gets me worried sick everytime papa is off alone. I HATE I HATE!!!!
of course he can take care of himself but there's that ugly thought that keeps reminding me how papa is 36 years older than me. I HATE!!

i still think that my parents will live forever. well, logically; not forever.. just, long enough to see me graduate, long enough to live in the house i bought them, long enough to see me get married, long enough to see my children.. just long enough for all that. and everytime reality hits me that they just might not get to see all that makes me all depressed and sad.
what's worse, even though i realize all these things, i'm still not a good daughter to them. haaih~

great. now i'm bored, frustrated and depressed!

it's been a while.

it's monday and i'm actually typing out an entry. now, i can't even remember when was the last monday i am actually in cyberia. probably that first week of the third trimester.

to be honest, i am already disliking the fact that i'm here but i owe it to myself; that i should get my maya modelling done by tomorrow. four weeks have passed and only last friday did i start on it. heh!

okay. anyways. i'm in quite a foul mood to be a good blogger right now. can't wait to get my modelling done and get on with the chinese new year holiday that starts on 7th. cheer cheer!

humm.. i keep making goodbyes more terrible than it already is..

so much for assignment!

what ever happened to my dream for writing?
since i was younger, i always wanted to write. at first i thought of being a journalist. the thought of going out, getting a story and putting them into words seemed so great. and then i realize how uninterested i am to the daily news. i only read the cartoon section of the papers! i came to accept that i only like to write about what relates to me directly.

later in my standard school i started writing stories. sure, i get a lot of A's for my writing homeworks. but really, what's the satisfaction of talking about your life as a car, or a totally fictional life that only happened in your dreams?
i wrote some short stories and gave it to my bestfriends to read. they thought it was great, but now that i've read them back, all i can think of is "what idiots we were during our childhood.." honestly, i can't even forgive myself for the terrible grammar, bad choices of words and well, REALLY bad storylines.

i tried song writing and poetry in secondary school. i have to say that i like most of the turn outs, but i hate the fact that you can't just conjure up an idea. if you're in a role, you're in a role. if you're not, you're not. and i can't cope with not in a role when i want to.
i still write short stories every once in a while but i keep leaving them halfway. somehow i just lost interest with the whole idea after a chapter. (don't i always?)

so tonight, i was supposed to start on Maya but something else was stuck in my head. And I couldn't let the thought go so I had to start writing again.
How ever did i get to "multimedia" when writing has always been my number one?

anyways, going crazy after seeing this picture. quite a sneak peak for Harry Potter #4!!

little missy and friend.

getting a bit cranky right now. my feet are hurting me. gara gara merayap after finding out class wasn't on. (kalo tau, i would've stayed at home and sleep!!) but well, cik ila pon tak membantu when she said she had no plans for the afternoon!
(you see, when there's no plan.. you'd just have to MAKE ONE! hohhohok!)

so we went to campbell(?) since cik ila wanted to get her metal band cd. hihi. later we went to midvalley and ate "mee yang menyamar jadi laksa". (it's a story not worth talking about) then pusing pusing and entah macam mane, dah belanja rm30! ahhahaha! HORRIBLEHORRIBLE.
later we went to catch phantom of the opera since cik ila wanted to see it so much. good thing that i like the theme song pretty much to tag along! hihi. the movie was 2+hours. kinda tiring on the butt, but it was okay! not quite a surprise that i was able to get emotional by some film that is entirely musical!
i had to laugh at some parts though.. i think it's just funny how one second, the guy talks in proper sentences but the other second he suddenly sang his words in a rather enthusiastic song. (macam faham ke?)
anyways, in my opinion.. if the phantom keeps his mask on his face, i wouldn't mind marrying him! he's quite good looking if you look on his best side. hihi. but he's really psychotic, isn't he?

going back home was kinda funny. i had to contain myself from wetting my pants when i laughed at cik ila's little stunt display in the commuter train. kikkiki.

feeling pretty awful right now actually.
haven't seen mama for a week 'coz she had to go to langkawi for work and she only got back today. what's worse, i pulled off a mood the night before she left and i wanted to say something about it but it feels a bit late for that and now i don't know how to even say anything to her.
and dida will be off to labuan tomorrow morning and it gets me feeling even worse. i really hate it when both of my sisters are away from home. bluerrgh!
and i still have to do that maya modelling!! grr.
and all i want to do right now is get my pillow and just lay about wherever i can.

Masquerade! Paper faces on parade
Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you
Masquerade! Every face a different shade
Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you
Masquerade! Buring glances,turning heads
Masquerade! Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you
Masquerade! Grinnning yellows, Spinning reds
Masquerade! Take your fill, let the spectacle astound you.
(Maquerade; from the Phantom Of The Opera soundtrack)

it's been a month since the 9.0 richter quake that caused the massive tsunami. did you know that there has been studies that actually shows how big a quake can be at certain places and where tsunamis might hit? if you own an atlas, you could probably check it out.

still sick.

i've actually been spending my whole morning writing about snot and sort-of-asthma in my diary. how about that?

anyways, love this song.. only felt like putting it down today. hihi.

Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
You dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want

Since you been gone

you guys made me so proud!!!

hihi.
i was so happy that spider won the 19th juara lagu!! i mean, everyone thought misha was going home with the trophy but noooooo.. SPIDER DID!!!!
it's been months that i haven't heard this song, so when they performed that sunday night, a balloon kinda swelled up inside of me. it's like.. i was reminded of how much i love this song and it's just AWESOME that they won!! tam did a really great job, with his husky(?) voice that made him sound absolutely.. absolutely wonderful. it really seemed like he felt that song inside him.
but then, he did co-wrote that song!
but the song is just wonderful!! i'm in love! hihi.

me and the family spent the weekend at nina's place. the folks really missed izzati and i'm just excited to see how farhana's doing. izzati had been pretty naughty nowadays. she likes to hit her sister and seem to think that kissing her afterwards would make it okay. hihi. she's really cute, but NAUGHTY!! sangat sangat!! grrr.

okay. anyways. i can change from pleasant to foul with the speed of light, such as now. so i'm just going to say what's bugging me.
DUDEE!! STOP SUFFOCATING MEEEE!!!!!! YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND AND I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT YOU IN THAT MANNER!!! GODD, HELLPPPP!!!!!!

why, it's amazing what you can do when you're irritated, isn't it? 'coz right now.. i really don't care if he finds this blog. HAH-HA!
bluerrghhh! i'm really foul, aren't i? and what should be considered worse, i don't feel guilty at all.

"..just the way you are"

i had a very interesting day today. really!
but please people.. be a friend next time, and if you know that i was going out while i wasn't feeling too well and having my period, STOP ME! me, being sick is bad for the society. plus, i look horrible wandering around with tissue in my hands. unhygenic, absolutely.

today i went again to midvalley.. even after being nagged by mama for being sick and still stubborn to go ahead with my plan. hohohok! (gara gara ablen who told me that i should tell someone that i was going out, in case anything happens. grr)
anyways, if you were living in the south side of malaysia, surely you experienced the power surge! and yes.. i was inside megamall when it happened. i was only there for a couple of minutes when it happened, and gosh! if you've seen resident evil, 12:30 pm in megamall today strongly reminds me of it! ekkeke! did you know that there's this canvas divider/devider (spelling?) along the halls that would automatically come down when there's a power surge??? well, there is such thing and it got me a lil' panicky that i actually jogged towards the light from the center court's skylight! i end up feeling lame.
anyways, after about 30minutes wondering around in the darkness, watching some people walking headlong into other people, i stopped in front of tomei and sat. a few while later some stranger by the name of kak lin walk up to me and struck a conversation! about an hour talking to her, she asked me a question.. "what's a pretty girl like you doing here alone? takde boyfriend ke?"
HOHHOHOHOK!! even a stranger thinks i should have a boyfriend! ekkekeke! ntahpapentah.

anyways, after lunch i decided that i shouldn't go back yet so i actually went to catch a movie!! bridget jones:edge of reason!!!!! i reaaaally like colin firth!! no. i liiiike mark darcy!! no no.. i looove mark darcy!! i ADORE him!! his fantastic, fabulous, extremely charming and absolutely, totally handsome!! I WANT!! honestly, is there anyone out there such as him? i hope by i'm 26 i'm with someone like him. one incredibly sweet arse. ekkeke! he's just amazing! it's amazing if there's really someone who can still love bridget even with her blunders. absolutely AMAZING!!
both bridget jones are definitely on my list of favorite movies! hihi.

anyways, today i found out three things;
1. there is such thing as allergy to dusts, 'coz i'm having one right now.
2. a cute face and smile can really make people don't mind much about your silliness.
3. sickness makes me more emotional than i already am! i actually almost cried at this one part of the movie. hihi! i remember this one time when i had this really high fever that i thought i was going to die!
(well, the doctor didn't help that she panicked when she read the thermometer!!)

okay. better rest. since that high fever, i'm pretty much horrified of getting a fever again. i think my body is done with the little viruses that now, i only get the really horrible ones, thus.. really really high fever!
okay. stopping!

eh wait!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ORLANDO BLOOM!!!
okay, done!

die birds, die!

if they really had brains the size of a bird's brain, i wouldn't have been so pissed.
me, having a porky mouth is absolutely horibble. but the things that happens around me pretty much invites me to curse as much as i can!
but i've stopped saying "idiot" at home! hihi. that should count for something.

last night one makcik called me up and that was AWESOME!! i wrote this long email to my bestest friends and hanis actually called back!! cayang cayaaang~ :x really really miss the girls. anyways, then me and hanis spent the night talking through skype, merepek merepek and kutuk kutuk, yah hanis! hihi.
luv ya luv yaaa!!

i suppose today is not too bad either. just realized how many things should be done by next week though. that was unfavorable.
honestly i have nothing much to say about today!
just really looking forward to tomorrow 'coz tomorrow is thursday and i'm going to spend all day long just the way i want it to be spent!!! (my schedule is absolutely empty for tomorrow)

ME TIIIIMEE!! hihi.
currently loving this song.
Drowning by Missy Higgins

Maybe I'm just living out the same old stories in and out
But you know that don't make it easier
Time will fly away with me if truth won't stop and let me see
And tell me I am to believe that you and I should never be again

I'm drowning

When the one you leave is the one thing you believe
You say goodbye when underneath's your one belief
That love rules all, conquers all

Its funny how the times that seem unbearable
Are the ones that you don't ever want to end
And when your childhood slips away
You find you face a brand new day
And you know it can't be the same again

'Cause when you leave you stayed in my memory
You say goodbye for now and have a drink for us
And good luck and find your way

Clawing out will sometimes seem so far away
Never knowing if I'll live to see another day
Never seem to find out what to do
Noone seems to tell you
'Cause you're drowning

When the one you leave is the one thing you believe
You say goodbye when underneath's your one belief
That love rules all, conquers all

That love rules all, it conquers all

i'll be safe. :)

my life.

it's definitely half empty.
no. it's closer to three-quarters empty 'coz i actually spend 8 hours and possibly more of them trying to not be seen by people or acting like i don't see them. and what's lame, i don't even try looking at my feet when i walk! i'm not that kind of person, but i pretty much hate being recognized!
why?
i - don't - know!!
i freakin' don't know.

anyways, i am currently de-boys-ing. it's something like de-tox-ing but instead of toxins, it's boys. just because i found out that boys actually gets me some allergic reaction.

what do you see in me?

really.
honestly.

one of my resolution this year is to not get mixed up in the wrong places..
and yet, on the 7th day of the new year, i am tempted to.

right now i really wish i could talk to someone who really.. truly.. knows me.

dear,
i'd like to believe that honesty prevails..
but how you could make the truth becomes more complicated than conjuring a lie boggles my mind. i suppose i should be proud that there is someone like you out there.. believing in the better me all these while.
4 years have passed, and there you are.. standing right where i left you.
thank you for the flattery, thank you for your time, thank you for being there, but i'm really REALLY not ready for this. again.
no no no no NOOOOO!!!!

hope you understand.

Popular; Nada Surf

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she prefers the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll appreciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

I propose we support a one month limit on going steady
I think It will keep people more able to deal with weird situations
And get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with Jonnie
Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit
He won't mind he'll apreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else you can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it
Everyone will appreciate it
Your so novel, what a good idea
You can keep you time to your self
You don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
THE TEENAGE GUIDE TO POPULARITY!

this song is freakishly growing on me! hihi.

scream!

humm.. i wish i am not ruled by my angst like i am.
i was the idiot. sorry did!
hummph. and it took me the next day to apologize.
it's so hard to admit that i was wrong and horrible.. especially to you 'coz you're no angel either!
hehe.

felt like writing something out, but i can't seem to put them into words.
what i have right now is only thoughts.
thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts.

feels like going on another ME time, but can i afford that? hihi.

these days..

is there any point in questioning about it?
hummm..
yes, there is.

it's just reaaally hard to get good keepers these days, doesn't it?
now people, i AM talking about the recent tiger cup match between Malaysia and Indonesia.
THE KEEPER WAS HORRIBLE!! god! he's just absolutely HORRIBLE!! not just he's bad at keeping the net, his hair is even WORSE!! nothing i hate more than ugly long-haired males. i really really think it's YUCKY!!
what's with most of the players anyways! so that chindian, whatsisname? kit kong? something like that.. so i think he is a good player.. but his long hair? makes me cringe! urghh!!

okay, about the game. i think it's just typically malaysian to lose a game when everyone is just puting such hope on them. don't our national players just lose when they're almost at the top? badminton.. football.. they're all just the same! i don't blame the fact that there weren't too many supporters coming into the stadium at the beginning of the tournament.
our players really disappoints a lot.
sorry that i sound really negative about our sports scene. i was really disappointed with our team. the attackers were doing soo goood!!
and the defenders were just.. crappy!

moving along to another thing that disappoints me...
how could the disney channel move even stevens to 2:30 am?!!! urghhh! bencikbencikkk!!
(err.. i am having this silly crush over shia labeouf. hokhokhok!!)

okay okay! i should talk about something else that would maybe, probably make more sense than those i've written up there. hihhi.
people, let's say "welcome to the planet!" to Alia Farhana!! (been playing the first verse of Dare You To Move by Switchfoot ever since her birth!)

born on last monday, December 27th, has a cute dimple on her right cheek, and her voice is just tiny!! cute, adorable, and tinyyy!! she's just amazing! and izzati was amazing! she's at that stage where she just loves babies, and anytime she saw her baby sister, she would want to kiss her!! of course everyone would try to hold her so she wouldn't accidentally fall on farhana, but when anyone tries to stop her from kissing her sister, she'd get frustrated and prentends to cry!! hihi.
the two are really adorable. can't wait to see farhana when she's at izzati's age! and izzati.. gosh!! it could probably take a whole day to talk about her!! and she's just a year old!!! i can't get enough of izzati and farhana!!!
sure, i can't really babysit either of them 'coz i'm all play, ekkeke! they're really a challenge. okay. i should re-phrase that. IZZATI is a challenge. she's really no-rest, all-play, and just refuse to stay put! unless, you have a dairy milk chocolate in your hands to keep her occupied with.. until she gets enough of it!! hihi.
still.. i can't get enough of my two nieces!!!!
and if nina gets another girl after this, that's another set of the 'charmed one'!! hohhohok!

okay. enough of this babblebabble.
sorry (if applicable) for missing for a whole week! hihi. been spending most of the week in seremban. (if only the 'holidays' were longer! hihi)
and now i'm off to some 'me' time! hihi.

o yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

i am good for nothing.

i am so frustrated.
if i wasn't horrified of pain, i would've jumped off the window legde 2 hours ago.
o mann, i'm so tired of crying!!
and now, how can i face those people i care about??
or so i claimed.

i am a horrible horrible person!!!
i'm a horrible horrible daughter!!

entahlah.
dah takde hati nak bercerita.
i still have a letter to finish. later!

(o yeah, if any of you are thinking how i shouldn't be too depressed, shut it! you don't even know half the things i'm going through!)

thank you.

you just remind me why i preferred being "invisible" on the first place.

haven't done my studying!!! i just found out how much i actually should read.
anyways, i think the 'couple of days' is over and today i can start sharing my thoughts again!

....

err. let's take a raincheck on that.
anyways, i haven't said anything about my birthday, have i?
it was a fun-ny one. someone actually "gave" me a confession that day and it still makes me laugh when i think about it. thanks loads to rai who called. heehee. really really appreciate it. only then i realize how much i miss talking to that peeve.
thanks to everyone who remembered.

speaking of birthday, today is my teddi bear's! ekekke!
hey you, do you know that the bear already had sort of a name before you gave it to me? the tag said 'Spencer'. heehee. teddi bear is 2 years old today.
click!

just one boring post.

i shouldn't be sharing my thoughts yet.
but i'm really really bored now.
and i think papa at home is bored as well.
so here i'm posting papa's gedik message just now.

[ HI!!!! LOVE YOU!! ]

okay. so then i replied with something like right here is too boring but i have class on friday and asked, "buat buat takde kelas takpe tak?"

[ NO WAY! YOU HAVE TO ATTEND CLASS. ]

hummph. thought so.

surprise me.

it's so hard to get a good surprise these days, don't you think?

today has been a surprisingly good one! i love the cool air.
so i walked off to class early feeling all nervous for my first supplementary paper today. (err.. and a bit angau about something. kikkiki!) while trying to figure out if i messed up really bad a month ago. wanted to get my slip printed at first, but the only printer available was the "too canggih for my undertsanding" one, so i stupidly walked away from the room and went straight to etheatre.
still feeling a bit lame, i kept on reading while the media law lecturer talks on. (o yeah, i did look around) the class ended around 12 and i met up yoges and ara.
as i waited for yoges as she talked to a lecturer, this "guy" sorta sneaked up on me and when i noticed him, he said "badan dah naik eh?"
ekkekeke! so what does that tell you?
is he concerned for my weight or has he been checking me out? hohohokk!
terok la kamu.

anyways, later i head to apple's room and waste some time "reading" before heading for the hall.
the paper made me a bit giggly but i really hate the fact that i couldn't answer this 10-marked question! bluerghhh!
and then at 4:30 the examiners forgot to take our papers. (take notice, there were three of us with the paper at the end of exam, ida munirah - ida hazwanie - hazwani naim. hohhohok! bengong.) anyways, we just hung around talking with sherry even when we heard the examiners talking to themselves that the papers for mid2053 were "lost". ekkeke.

oooh~ my posts are so pleasant when i'm in a good mood.

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
Im just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begin

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

funny enough, Rochelle said this about the week: "From my calculations, Wednesday is going to be your lucky day for this period."

nervous breakdown.

actually, what does that term mean? 'coz right now i'm using it because i'm feeling really nervous for tomorrow and the day after that.
i just can't grasp what the heck that's making me this irresponsible!! urghh!! how could i let myself down so horribly???

sometimes i think being a sagittarius is a curse.

"...you can be so enamored of your abstract vision, your view of the whole, your intuitive sense of possibilities and potentials, that you miss what is right in front of you, including the actual work involved in realizing that vision, or perhaps the real people that might be effected."

hmmph! idiot.

anyways, i better get on with my studying.

changed to one lazy layout. other than the nervous breakdown, i'm also having a real designer's block. bluerghh!

ohh! this is the song that i've been crazy about weeks ago. somewhat like a theme song, but not anymore! but i still love the song. i haven't got it on my pc though.. entah mana nak cari. but i've been following the radio long enough to somewhat memorize the song. :D
Aku, Dia dan Kamu by Diva

Betapa bodohnya diriku
Mahu diduakan dirimu
Namun bila hati bicara
Aku sayang padamu

Kau takkan pernah tinggalkannya
Dihatimu cuma dia
Namun tetap kau inginkan ku
Kini apa dayaku

Putuskan dia o kasih
Agar ku tak tersaingi
Sungguh ku benci dirimu yang tak bisa memilih
Namun harus ku akui
Sukar untuk lepaskanmu
Akhirnya aku undur diri demi dia dan kamu..

"don't cry"

almost three years ago someone said that to me, and it made me even more sad and actually cried in public. that's a stupid thing to say for a goodbye.
aren't goodbyes just the worst things to say?
anyways, so after 3 weeks absent from this retched place (hoho!) i'm back again to get my wrong things right. (try la kan)
i didn't cry as i did then, but my insides were spinning.. wishing i was still glued to the television at home. haha!

so the holidays was good. i had a good time doing nothing, somehow.
not exactly nothing.. but i just realize, after my sister's wedding, i really don't mind going to weddings! before that, i used to make up a lot of excuses for not going. even when my mom threatens me stuff, i still chose to stay hungry at home. but eversince 2002, i actually LIKE getting myself headache over the crowd of people i hardly know.

other than that.. i realize how this holiday is one turning point for me. well, not exactly "turning".. it's something like "pointing out" point in my life.
i am feeling what i was feeling when i was coming to 17. this really good feeling for just myself. can't believe i had to wait for 3 years just to get this feeling again. sheesh!

anyways, i was astrologically advised to keep my thoughts to myself this couple of days and i'm having a headache from lack of sleep, and my insides still not feeling good, and kak huda just fried some keropok lekor lahh! wee~!

okay, here's a song i heard from one of my fave tv shows of all time. i think i was being fed with too much of this show that i'm becoming like the main actor of it.. yikes!
Alone Again, Naturally by Vonda Shepard

To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
The role I was about to play
But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much, as a mere touch
Cut me into little pieces
Leaving me to doubt
Talk about love and His mercy
Who if He really does exist
Why does He desert me?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

Seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do, what do we do?

What do we do, what do we do?
In my hour of need I truly am indeed
Alone again, naturally

goodbye.

songs about yous..

(be warned, this will be a long one..)

heehee. happy holidays mmu peeps!
and to those who are studying in uitm and uia.. welcome back to school! (if you let me call it that!)

so i've been in a spin, thinking of what i wanted to write for the end of the semester coz i usually have something. i've been having this little patches of things but when i write them out, they only came in.. well, patches! ekkeke.
seems like i've been losing any sort of motivation to write but wait a minute.. that's IMPOSSIBLE! ekekke!
so i've been uninspired since the couple of weeks.. but the weeks' rest ought to buy me some time for one possibly.. probably "good" entry, right?
(good? who am i kidding??)

i read my old diaries the week before i had my exams.. and god! i wish i could get a goood barrel of steel and matches and light them up and watch them all burn.. ahhahah!! you know, you thought a diary would help you 'catch your thoughts' and 'remind you of important accounts'. but when i read those diaries.. i can only shout aloud, "O MY GOD!!!"
what an embarrassment!! thank god no one ever found and read them! ekkekeke!
it's just funny.. and embarrassing to remember what i thought was important when i was thirteen. ekekke. idiot.

and then i found out how i've been getting myself in the same sticky situation over.. and over.. and over again since many years ago! and what's weird is how i've been thinking that it was always the first time i feel it when i felt it. (am i making any sense here?)
so really.. nothing has ever been new.. truly new in my life. the same things just keeps happening, but with different people.
maybe it really is true.. subconciously, we keep falling in 'love' with the same person. the same sort, at least. kinda frustrating when i think about it, so i better stop!

so anyways, those diaries got me thinking about songs..
alike my blog, i wrote down my favorite lyrics down in my diaries.
i have a particular song for almost everyone it seems! and that, i have to say is a baad unintended move. i mean, now when i don't want to remember about someone.. i would just think about them when i hear the song. and that's baaadd!!

the thing about songs.. i also hate it when someone 'steals' it from me. i know that's a stupid thing to say since the song was never "mine", but i just hate it! i hate it when someone relates a song to a person, with the song i relate the same person with. hahahha! i think i'm really making no sense. it's just.. i hate the feeling of being like.. 'another one'. i mean, that's how I relate to the person.. so how can someone else relate the same song to that person?? that would suck a lot.

but gladly!! somehow i just can't seem to relate my favorite, most favorite song to anyone i know. heehee! somehow. and that's awesome!! i can enjoy a good, perfect song without anyone being able to 'steal' it or being interrupted with the thoughts of someone i probably.. actually.. hate.
just hopefully it'll stay that way 'til the rest of my life..
or when i found someone who i couldn't possibly hate. well, that's a lie. there's always something to hate. (for me, at least!)
i find it hard to like everything about someone. you can like them for anything, but to like everything is doubtful. so that line up there ought to be; "when i found someone who i couldn't hate too much". heehee.

so that's partly a confession.. i have a song that relates best to almost everyone.
someone once said to me that a song only relates to you as much as you want it to. well, that person was right. a song couldn't possibly be written completely about you unless you wrote them yourself. but sometimes, a song can really.. just simply be talking about someone.

so here's a song that has been caught up in my head for the last couple of days. i finally found the perfect little song, and this IS about someone.

Follow You Down by Gin Blossoms

Did you see the sky, I think it means that we've been lost
Maybe one less time is all we need
I can't really help it if my tongue's all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge, it's just the farthest that I've ever been

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

I know we're headed somewhere, I can see how far we've come
But still, I can't remember anything
Let's not do the wrong thing and I swear it might be fun
It's a long way down when all the knots we've tied have come undone

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

How you gonna ever find your place
Runnin' in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us lying face down in the sand
So what the hell, have we already been forever damned?

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

so here's a week in the holidays.
a few plans has been lined up. just a question if it's going to happen. people to see, places to go and yes, things to shop! (cheer cheer!!!)
i miss my fiance!! and hanis.. and musz.
and i can't wait to see dayat!! aaaiiiyyyyyyyyyeee!! i need february to come early. heehee.
errkk! but that reminds me that i promised fiance something. (but he knows me so well, he probably didn't count on that i'll do as promised. hahhahaha!)
it's just great when you have those people that just knows you to the core. (but they're horrible to have when you're trying to hide something!)

and finally!! have an awesome time, people!!!
i'm going to crack my brain on a favor for dida now.

seven shades of blue.

ain't that pretty?

anyways.. currently feeling quite fine.
going to have my final paper in 2 hours and i am HORRIFIED!!
i hope i'll do okay.. especially since i need to get full marks if i want to confirm a pass! ahhahahah!! gilok.

i just realize last night.. that my sadness had turned to anger long time ago. it's.. sad. hohoho. well, i suppose i just hate that feeling of losing. it feels awful and i hate it! thus, i got mad and just got angry with almost anything that ticked me even just a lil'.
but i'm okay now.
things... doesn't seem so big as i made them now. :)

so yesterday i was in the car when i looked up to the sky and saw seven beautiful shades of blue. and what's more amazing.. the moon could be seen at 5:54 pm! i mean.. that's EARLY!
sigh. i love sitting in the car.
i think if i have a driver's liscence (spelling?) and own a car.. i'd spend my whole day just driving around. :)

okay! better revise some things now.
but this coffee is making me jumpy. eeeek!

o - my - GOD!!!

this must be one of the most horrible feelings i've ever felt!!
there's even a sickly pain in my tummy.
you know what?
MENYAMPAHHH!!!
urghhh!! GOD!!

i may be wrong for the second time..
the first time i was SO wrong that it's really really embarassing.. but this time.. i really doubt that i'm making the same related mistake.
o crap.

i am now officially ashamed for being such a stupid stupid stupid git!!
i wonder if i'm simply simply wrong for..
huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
i really really wanna cry now.

how did i get this stupid???
for thinking that things were about to change...
they were always the same, weren't they?
so i'll be detaching myself now..

here goes my heart.
breaking up to pieces so small..
that it can pass through the eye of a needle.
i guess i'm sorry.

sorry for putting such hope on a single star..
a star that i thought shone bright for me.
when truthfully it has always been there.
shining for someone else to see..

hey stranger!

i think i'll miss you forever...

I wish I could hold a billboard above my head..

..for every single time i see you :)

so have you ever done something wrong.. VERY wrong.. but it's sinfully good that you just can't help yourself from doing it again.. and possibly again?

life is weird,
life is scary.
and yet it's wonderful as well!

so how is it possible that you can love and hate at the same time?
i find the answer easy.. though i couldn't say the same for compromising with it.

here's a simple explanation;
all things on earth were created as a couple.

there's always a mate to each other.
a positive and negative in everything.
adam-eve, anod-katod, yin-yang, mars-venus, happy-sad and sure..
love and hate.

how can you love when you don't understand hate?
only in hate, can you understand what you love.
only in love and hate, can you feel the ultimatum of emotions.

(hehhe.. cakap cam pandai!)

but honestly! i believe in that.
i believe that to love.. you must hate.
and only then you'd understand.. possibly everything.

the end of merepek! :P
(well sure i have lots more to say.. but it's best for you to just 'understand' them)

i find everything pretty amusing lately..
i look back to my life and think about now, to realize how things have really changed. i've done some things i've never thought of doing before and i've found new things i wanted to do now..
my thoughts have really changed in due time.. (though i can't confirm that it's growing MATURE) but i've always felt the same.
always. always. always...

but anyways! i am thinking of writing something else 'serious' during the coming school break, along with a new layout (that ONLY looks good when i think of it) so if you're looking forward to things like that, keep your fingers crossed!!
i know i am! ekkeke!

so in conjuction of the festivities..
happy deepavali
to those who celebrates them, and

SLAMAT HARI RAYA!!
to all my friends, buddies, pals and fellow readers! hope you have a good one and enjoy every moment of it!

and yeah.. HAVE FUN IN THE SCHOOL BREAK! and to mmu peeps.. GOOD LUCK for the exam!!! ahhahahah!

[originally written on 1:11am]

i am HOPELESS!! it frustrates me!! stupid stupid stupid!!
you see, if i had managed to lose my feelings, i could've stopped feeling oh so measly since.. long ago!
i suppose everyone has their own 'pattern'. (saw a neat episode of sex and the city earlier today) and i think i DO have a pattern.
i have the pattern of a person that keeps on longing for the unattainable someone. it's like, i'm pleading to be broken-hearted, or be kept wondering.. or left waiting.. or just, i don't know!! i said aloud that i want to be 'smarter' and yet, i couldn't pass up the chance to be called 'stupid'. that's just.. plain dumb!
dumb dumb dumb!!!

urrgghhhhh!!!!!

probably i radiate some sort of a 'safe' character that people can pick up the smell like garlic in someone's breath. maybe a 'safe' person just reflects that bit of boredom.
heck! even i ran from it some years ago! (and still am) ahahhaha!! it's a bit unfair of me to judge people for it. but maybe everyone just needs less and less of that 'safe' personality.

in my thoughts.. someone safe is a someone whom you're supposed to get married with, live in a big bungalow, have a dozen children and live happily for the rest of your life.
and i don't want to get married just yet.
and i guess you're not ready for that either...

how i wish you are.. and ask for my hand tomorrow.
ahhahhaha!!

ps: no, i'm not depressed nor am i crazy, i just have a lot of lame
thoughts.
i think i am missing rai 'coz he appeared in my dream some nights ago. (and i read that when you dream of someone, it's probably your subconcious mind letting you know that you miss that person, and that you conciously didn't realize it. cute, huh?)

guuuud morning!!

okie. so i KINDA just got back from a well-spent night!!

it started when i went to my bed, trying to get a bit of shut eye 'coz i have nothing else better to do. then somewhere around 6:20pm i got a phonecall asking me things about how i'd break-fast today.. and he then asked if i wanna come along with him.. and me.. seperti biase lah kann! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKK!!
ekkeke! at 6:30.. i met up with abang yau, ablen, their cousin; boy, and hafiz! so of course, by the time for break-fast, we're still in the car. but then we stopped in UM to pick up mimi (crammed the backseat!!) who brought up a weird cincau-like drink for us to break-fast. :D

so then we had our real break-fast in midvalley. we were done somewhere around 8.. stood around some bits as we decide how are we going to waste some time. then somehow we decided to catch a movie at 11:15pm! (and there goes mimi's choir practise at 9! ekkeke!) so we had pleeeennnnty of time to waste. i tagged along mimi and hafiz; did some bits of window shopping.. and then get back to the rest and went bowling!! ekekkeke!

tak tahan laa.. rase nak baling something kat abang yau. ekkeke! mimi was sooo close to beat him but in the end, abang yau won the game in difference of 10 points with mimi. and i, sadistically was last place with only 82 points! ahhahahah!! lembu. (kasi can ekk.. lama dah tau tak main!! ekkekeke!) bowling was really fun, though.

then we "loiter" some more, (i believe that would be hafiz' favorite word) in front of mcd there until it's time for us to get to the cinema! :)
had some laughs before the show starts.. and laughs is GOOD! :P
we saw TAXI and it was fun!! well, at least i thought so. but i think the blooper part at the end was even sillier. (does this word exist??) o well, i think the movie was good enough! :D i have always loved queen latifa's character in most of the movies she's in. :)

then we crammed back in the car and sent off mimi back to her college.. and then me! so here i am.. yapping about things that don't really matter when i probably should sketch some things for tomorrow's philosophy class! hohohoho!

so, thank you guys for the good evening!!
especially abang yau!! maybe sebab dah lama tak jumpe? ececcee! ekkekeke! tengkiuuukk!!
so.. after a good evening spent, there's no better way for it to be followed than by a GOOD NIGHT!!

ohh! been hearing this song too darn much everytime i go to the movies.. but honestly, i DO love abba! heehee. and i LOVE this song. :)

Mamma Mia by ABBA

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

"thanks for the sex."

ekkeke. that was such a twisted line.
twisted!!

the night turned out to be quite cool lah!
so i was picked up around 6:15, crammed myself between mama and papa at the back seat of the car, and dozed off for quite sometime somehow. (seems like i've been doing too much of that lah lately! ekekkeke!) waking up at the right moment of break-fast, (papa and nina already bought rations earlier) and realize how i'm still treated like a kid; papa let me be the first one to the drink. ekekkeke! so there we were, in the car, almost at the center of the town, eating rotiboy, kuih lapis and other 15-seconds-of-fame-in-ramadhan kuihs, :D as we pondered why seremban roads are still packed with cars.
you see, in shah alam.. by 6:50.. (during ramadhan lah!) every major roads would be practically empty! it's probably even safe to sit right on the road. heehee. well, most probably 'coz shah alam is really just HOUSES and everyone's already inside getting prepared for break-fast. :)

arrived in nina's place, being greeted by the birthday girl, who sat right at the doorway looking confused. ekekke! so we had a proper dinner, sang izzati that traditional birthday song (though she'd surely don't understand - but grinned her two front teeth anyways) and simply lie around. me and nina got to work on that puzzle a bit as well. hehhe! cam addicted to get it done! :)

got back here again around 11, and fussed about my darned computer which somehow wasn't connected to the internet as the other computers!! frustrating indeed.
then lily said she was going out to become a cetti so i had to come along! :D saw majin in hb1 and somehow he got into the car and followed us home. (not before stopping by dar and fakhrul's house first)

so there we were.. in front of the telly.. watching sex and the city with illia (housemate. hope i spelled her right!) ekekkeke, with the occasional rosie and lily who made spaghetti too! ekekkeke!

so it's five o'clock, and i better start figuring out what the heck i'm supposed to do for later today's resubmission for that philosophy essay.. sheesh~!

words are just words, dear.

haven't had the same kind of ache like today for a while..
and i never liked the feeling, so please.

i suppose i had too much unimportant things caught up in my head that i forgot what today is..
EPPY BIRTHDAY IZZATI~!!!
one whole year! heehee~!

so i'll be off to nina's place to celebrate budak kecik ngade!!

it's what i can't say, dear.

tonight.

*yawn*

super sleepy somehow. so here's the familiar people i saw tonight:
ablen (hehhe!), hafiz, mimi (right?), lina teoh (who looked horrible without make up!), this one mmu guy i've already forgotten the name, abang amir (who waved from across that big circle of 3rd floor in midvalley), dar, fakhrul and mas of AF2 (which looked surprisingly pleasant in person!)

fate is playing games with me.
stop it, fate!

Fields Of Innocence by Evanescence

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Oh where, where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

dah. gudnite world~!

how do you tame a centaur, dear?

that angst is building up again.

i'm proud.. and stubborn.
i'm hating the person i'm becoming, but i can hate you even more.

go away. give up. whatever.
just leave me alone now.
for a moment.
at least.

the world is black, dear.

remind me how much i adore good charlotte!! :P
klakar.. slalu download lagu banyak banyak, tapi end up listening to the same old songs!
this is one of the very few cute songs i absolutely LOVE! (hear hear!)

The World Is Black by Good Charlotte

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day and
No one really knows why this is happening
But it's happening
And everywhere you go it's just a different place
You get the same dark feeling
See the same sad faces
No one really cares that this is happening

We come into this world
And we all are the same
In that moment there's no one to blame

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen

Living in this place it's always been this way
There's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed
And I can't live when this world just keeps dying
It's dying
People always tell me this is part of the plan
That God's got everybody in his hands
But I can only pray that God is listening
Is he listening?

We're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

We come into this world
And we all are the same
And in that moment there's no one to blame
But we're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

The world is black
And hearts are cold
There's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
(We can't go back)
It won't be the same
(It won't be the same)
Forever changed
(What will ever change)
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day
And no one really knows why this is happening

class today took such a long time!! we (ara, yoges, lini and myself) weren't able to complete the task by 6:20 and by that time, we're already itching in our sits to go out and prepare for break-fast! hehhe!
and farizu told us to get something and get back to the lab.. break-fast with most of the peeps, watching SIN CHAN THE MOVIE! ahhahaha!! tak tahann.. he was practically promoting it, so we just HAVE to laugh at it.
so i had break-fast at chicken rice shop in alamanda. habes!! woo~hoo! tak membazir, bagus! :D so, tengkiuk incik ablen!

kepala tengah pusing pusing.
help, i need to yap!

i'm never ready, dear.

had quite a good weekend.
so good that i'm actually putting my future in danger. hohoho!
gile.

anyways, weekend!!
can't exactly remember what i did for the last three days.. except for the dreams i had! huhuu.

but i DID - me and family, that is - went to see nina in seremban. it's been FIVE weeks since i last saw izzati and she's got her two front teeth!!! totemo kawaii!!!!!!! ekkeke!! but she's having a bit of a fever, so cam tak best sangat main ngan dia. she keeps on merengek merengek, and i don't exactly speak baby-tongue so i just don't know what she wants!
pastu buka pizza!! HO-HO-HO!
and nina's tummy is getting more obvious.. but she's still the nina i know. :D haihhh~! and we both spent some time doing this pretty big puzzle of 101 Dalmatians while dida nags at our sides until papa shouted it's time to head home. huhuuu. tak best!!

okie! dah tatau nak tulis ape dah.
hope today will be just as wonderful as yesterday.. :D

Only One by Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

love this song!!
especially when he really shouts! hahhaha!

ps to a girl i wish not to know: TOLONGLAAAHHHH!!!!

matter of fact.

1. some things are better left unsaid.
2. i lie sometimes; when i'm scared or i just want to dodge the topic.
3. gotta stop putting on hold of things!
4. haven't done that handphone assignment that's supposedly be submitted on mondayy!!

5. i have nothing else to say simply because.. some things ARE better left unsaid!

Blinded by Third Eye Blind

Just an old friend coming over
Now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in
Though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done
And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I wanna stay right here
And go down on you for an hour
And stay and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication
Take the moment of hope
And let it run
And never look back
At all the damage we have done now
To each other
To each other
To each other

But when I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
and still I see you

I never believe that things that they happen for a reason
And they never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned
But you're past where you understand
Now her appetite is blown
Little else is known
'Cept she's a little angry
Grabs a towel, looks away
The heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say
oh something clean, let me be clever
Hey oh well, whatever
But that's not what I mean
Where we've been has left us burnt still
I wont turn now from a fight
You know I'll never win

So when I see you
you know all the things I've done
and I am blinded
Like I'm staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
Yeah!

Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you
Icarus is not a t-shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and
It's not easy being me
When I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe
That we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden
We have stolen manners in the days when we were one

So when I see you
In spite of all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
Well I'm still staring down the sun
I'm blinded when I see you

hanging by a moment.

see..
the good thing about the bad things in life is how it makes you appreciate more of the better things.

i suppose life teaches us.
i question about so many things and i'm getting the answers to it one by one.
and i still have a lot to be thankful for right now though things keep going downhill these days. :)

i think i've had too much of revising my past that it feels weird now to think how much it has changed.
what ever it is, i hope that even when i can't get back up after falling too much to the ground.. i could still believe. i wish to believe for the rest of my life..

unconcious mutterings:
(lamanye tak buat)

Dimension:: mechanical desktop
Roger:: walkie-talkie
CSI:: that lab guy
Passenger:: bus
Thankful:: you
Has-been:: something
Bambino:: bimbo
Wrinkles:: face
Cable TV:: astro
Voicemail:: beep!

"Try to reason about love , and you will lose your reason to love." -(some French proverb)
that was what i meant to say.

clueless.

you know the feeling when things got horrible and you said to yourself, "things can't possibly go worse," but it DID and now you don't know what else you can say to yourself?
heehee. i think i am having that feeling, but i'm not stressing.
i'm surprisingly relaxed, to be quite honest.. and that's weird! ekkekeke!

anyways.. in liking of this song!!
speaks a bit of me for the time being. :)

Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan

I love the time and in between
the calm inside me
in the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
distance I have wandered
to touch upon the years of
reaching out and reaching in
holding out holding in

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as I can be
left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
passing through like liquid
I'm drunk in my desire
but I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near
I believe

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

The quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
to live my life the way I feel is right for me
might not be right for you but it's right for me

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
if I choose to
would you understand it
would you try to understand

btw, tengkiuk fariz, dar and azrin for letting me tag along!
heyy fariz, i finally get to ride your car lahh! :P

still sleepy laa, but i have class at 2!

papalapalapaa.

monday.
the start of a new week.
the end of weekends.
the end of lying around, asking people to get me anything.
ahhahahaha!!

:|
just why i dislike monday than the rest of the days in the week.

and so it's tuesday. just tuesday..
spent the night with 3 guys just now!
watched bourne supremacy with dar, ablen and ablen's friend; hafiz. (is it?) ekkeke! i actually didn't catch his name. :P

mengantuk laa already. while in the car i thought of some things i want to do in life;

1. walk through the Louvre
2. get onto a hot air balloon
3. get back my thumbdrive from dar!! (berikannya padakuuu~!)

heehee! there's more of course! but i haven't figured it out. :D
anyways, liking this simple song;
Don't I Hold You by Wheat

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
And don't I treat you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
Don't I please you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

We waste too much time

Don't I?
Don't I hold you like you want?

gudnite everyone~!

o yeah.. honesty is the best policy! :P
thanks friend for making me feel as comfortable as i possibly can with you. :) you know you wouldn't really have to wait for days to tell me that :P thanks. again! :D

sungguh kurang sopan.

kerna satu email yang sungguh menyentuh hati.
grrr!!

remind me to jentik someone when i see him for getting me a headache.

he sends email > i read it > i cried > head aches!

grr!! X(
bencikk!

monday is a... dislikable day!

it iss!!
for starters, no one bothered to wake me up for sahur this morning 'coz they all thought i wouldn't be fasting today, though i said i would! grrr! sampai ati!
and now, at 11:26 AM, i'm already HUNGRY!!
betul betul tak pose karaang, baru tahu!

and mama.. (hahhaa! seperti biase) always ticks me off one way or another. grrr!
i'm such a bad daughter, i knowww.. but i can't help at being angry for even measly things, and yes, my temper wouldn't care even if it's my mother. hmmph!!

nina's presence helps though.. :D even for a while.
rindunye sama izzati!
nina might be expecting a baby girl, she said. and i like the name she proposed if it's really a girl! heehee! :x

and have you ever had too much similarities to someone that it's just possible that you were siblings before separated during birth or something??
ahahhahaha!! merepek.
i am such a pathetic. (actually trying to make myself feel better about something)

okay. kinda sleepy really.
kul 2 kene gi model making ke? dahlaa cam nak ujan ni! :-S

hehh geramm!

grrr.

1. no electricity last night all of a sudden, as i was starting my CAD homework.
2. having a problem getting to sleep after a short nap 'coz i can't stand waking up.
3. unappreciated? (at least i feel so)
4. weird dream. weird weirrrd dream. grrr!!
5. still sleepy.
6. have no idea how to do this 4th exercise on this homework!!! cemane nieee???
7. troubled by the idea of 2 assignments to submit next week.
8. still can't figure out how to get this 4th exercise done!
9. esok puase? puase ke?? (ramadhan is getting me nervous somehow..)
10. should get my work done if i wanna go back home this evening, shouldn't i?

11. can't i have my very own jason wade pleaaasee???

Everybody Is Someone by Lifehouse

stumbling I fall away it's hard to make a change
easy to be who you are when no one knows your name
walking past the lonely walls with eyes as cold as stone
climb inside the emptiness it's safe when you're alone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

all this time you lived alone without a memory
built your life upon the ground that sinks beneath your feet
step outside the misery for once you feel alive
second chances only come around once in a life

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

fools at the table

haihh~
now i am regretting for not buying that book of poetry i saw in mph yesterday.
i could remember a few..
but i think it'd be better to express myself in my very own words, thank you. :)

i am feeling like..
riding a heck of a roller coaster ride.
it goes up and down, with such different speed.
sure, the first few rounds gets you all excited and wanting to get on it again so you can feel all the thrill once more.
but after being on it for too many times, it just left you screaming, tired..
and sick.

just so let you know.
i'm caring less and less.. how sad is that?

jeepers~!!

heehee. i still want to smile when i'm reminded of that word..

but first,
ATTENTION, MEN OUT THERE!
if you see one girl over there and you'd like to say hi, please do it subtlely (?) and sit/stand in front of her. talking to a girl from her behind is more like an AMBUSH!

bluerghhh!
had a very weird start of day, yesterday.. but it was awesome as well!
i suppose.. yesterday was.. overwhelming for me. :)

so i went to see dayat in midvalley yesterday.
doing practically nothing except for catching a movie, have lunch, and round and round mindlessly. :P
we saw DODGEBALL which was pretty hilarious! it was a good, entertaining stupid movie. i personally don't like ben stiller that much but he's a riot! cam kerek gile, tak tahann! and the whole cinema was "interactively participating" the movie. everyone "oohed", "aahed" and "ouched" at the right moments. and there's this time when some just clapped their hands!! heck, last time i was with people who clapped to a movie was during the 2nd harry potter and there were mostly kids!
it's a good movie if you want to laugh your head silly. WATCH IT! heehee.


as you can see, dayat's dagu dah pulih! ekekkeke!
ohh, the outing was for celebrating dayat's birthday laa.. wish the other two were around.. :-S

anyways!! seen the new GC video?? ekekkeke!! they all have a new do!! (hair-do, i mean)
i love joel's and billie's!! tapi tak aci laa kan.. i love the two no matter how their hair look! ahhahaha!! but i totally 'dig' joel's. (wait, i only hated his hair in hold on video) :P and suka tengok billie on his guitar!! suka sukaa!
joel sangat comel.. sangat sangat! :P tengoklaaaa..
suka sukaaa!!

Predictable by Good Charlotte

Something isn't right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isn't the first time
That you left me waiting
Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming, still I don't know why
I let you in

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (so predictable)

So take your empty words
Your broken promises
And all the time you stole
Cause I am done with this

I could give it away, give it away
I'm doing everything I should've
And now I'm making a change
I'm living today
I'm giving back what you gave me
I don't need anything

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
You're so predictable (so predictable)

Now everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside
Why am I scared?
What am I afraid of?
I don't even know, this story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping
I've been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You're never coming back
Never

I knew it all along
You're so predictable
I knew something would go wrong (something's always wrong)
So you don't have to call
Or say anything at all
So predictable (so predictable)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
Everyone I love, (so predictable)
Everyone I care about
They're all gonna want to know what's wrong with me
And I know what it is (so predictable)
I'm ending this right now

okayy!! enough of celebrity crushes.
mengantuknyeeee!!

it's weird...

and a bit sad.

i guess the night is making me a bit philosophical (?) after writing a certain email to someone.
and currently listening to marcell - firasat. (gosh!)

so as i was listening to this song.. i just felt like walking towards the balcony.
it's been such a long time since i really appreciate a night's sky.
i guess my eyes are just trained to find a star. "the first star i see tonight.." (so i can wish for something childishly and foolishly) heehee.
after a while staring at this single star.. my eyes roam to the rest of the sky, and to my surprise, there was only another star.
just another.

what a waste of space....
such a big sky up there, and only two stars decorated it.
they were separated by such distance, but both had the same amount of light shining from it.

call me sentimental, but i am glad that they're shining with the same shade.
heehee.

okay. now i better get my CAD done so i can joli katak tomorrow! weeeeee~!
find me at midvalley later, yah! :P

screaaaaaaaaaaammmm!!

ekkekeke. ain't this weird??
i am having such a good mood though i am doing practically nothing!!
all's good, and i love how this feels. :)

CAD class was fine! sent some files named yoges_wanie_ara_harristakbest.dwg at the end of class! ekekkeke! awesome! :P
harris.. kamu lupa nak ingatkan wanie sesuatu lagi skali laaa! :P

feeling all excited for tomorrow!! AHAHHAHA!! i know i shouldn't be.. but i just am! :P kikkikiki!
i wonder lah what makes me ME. i suppose the fact that i was born in december plays a role. and that i am the youngest.. of three girls! ekekke!! and yahh, typically me.. blaming at other things but me! ekkekeke!! :P

haihh, sorely missing.
oneechan!!!
will be seeing dayat. ekekkeke! yeyyeyyy~!! *jigs* can't wait 'til kakchik's next holiday!!!
and musz...
yubikiri desu~!!
can't wait can't waitt!!

All That I've Got by The Used

So deep that it didn’t even bleed and caught me,
Off guard
Red handed, now I’m far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I need something else
would someone please just give me?
Hit me and knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside
I still am empty
So deep that it didn’t even bleed, catch me.

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)

I guess I remember every glance you shot me
Unharmed, I’m losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn’t even scream "F* me".

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
(All that I’ve got)

It’s all that I’ve got.

So deep that it didn’t even bleed; catch me
So deep that I didn’t even scream "F* me".

I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got
I’ll be just fine pretending I’m not
I’m far from lonely
And it’s all that I’ve got

psst.. hey you! see if i care :P

i fell in love with my brother.

which is awesome,
'coz i don't have any! ekkekeke!

quite a funny weekend i had. well, not exactly that HA-HA funny, but i really don't know how to describe it! huhuu~
everyone's missing izzati, been 2 weeks since everyone (me, dida, mama and papa) last saw her. ekekke! and me and dida kept singing the songs we usually sing for izzati. (stupid stupid songs dida created, really) haihh. i miss lah that kid!!!!

and i also miss dida 'coz she's been working all weekend. very busy with that shipment of spm paper. (note: she's working for misc) she should be heading to kelantan lah today. ehh, is it?? i think lah! apart from not having her to fight things about, i hate the fact that i had to sleep alone last night. :-S

and this was a note papa left me before he got out for work on the tv screen last friday. ekekkeke.

pandaaiii.. 'coz i'd surely sit in front of the telly! heehee.

and i heard one song that really caught my ears lahh while in the car few days ago, and i am getting myself very tired looking for it!! i think it's an indonesian singer.. and the thing is, i don't even know the name of the song!!! urghhh!! just got a line from the song!! (last time i had this kind of frustration was that time when i was looking for daniel bedingfield's song)

bencikk!!
but heyy.. have a good week people!

ps: kenape tetiba cam most of my favorite bands kuar album baru and i didn't know about it nieee??! grr! X(

angst??

does music heal.. or the other way round?

aren't jimmy eat world the bestt?? (okaylaa.. maybe not literally, but they're GOOD, aren't they??)
well, i've been spending the morning listening to jimmy eat world, and so i've been reminded of how much i actually love their songs! hehhe! :x
this one's from their new album; Futures, though.. :D

Kill by Jimmy Eat World

Well, you're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I wanna go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmeiser song goes
It's just like being alone

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting after means
You kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do, but I just can't turn away

So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Gotta take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know people can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
Tell me just what has it ever meant?

I can't help it baby, this is who I am
Sorry, but I can't just go turn off how I feel
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away

been thinking about this ever since i saw it somewhere;
what is worse? to know you should have.. or shouldn't have?
heehee :D
anyways, supposedly be going back home today.. yeayy! :P
jya~ byebye!

i know, i knowwwww. shut it, will you?

i'm talking to someone else.

my philosphy lecturer said earlier today,
you can't possibly think of nothing
she said it's impossible to be thinking of anything if you claim to be thinking of nothing. practically, if really you're thinking about nothing, you shouldn't be thinking at all!

(at least that's what i understood from what she said)
heehee!

i guess she's right, though i usually claim that i am thinking of "nothing". my "nothing" are usually "something" that i just couldn't point out aloud. :P

but right now.. i am feeling soo many emotions because i am not feeling anything at all. do you think it makes any sense? ('coz it does to me!)
heehee!

netomat ni bestt lah!! i'm already planning some things i'd like to do next! :D

Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who'da believed that you were part of a dream?
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see, I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well I'm finding it hard leavin' your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm findin' it hard to do anything

You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm goin' through
I just can't smile without you...

tengkiu for making me listen to this song! :x
okie. currently bored with nothing interesting to do.

abaikan.. abaikaann~!

ekekkeke!!

sape yang ade tanduk tu ekk? ekekke! :P

i honestly have nothing much to say about today. been doing nothing much. :) but heyy!! check out my NETOMAT!! have a look, have a look!!! and leave something as well lah! just doodle, or write something, okie~! :D

Bagaikan Sakti by Siti Nurhaliza & M Nasir

Cinta datang
Tanpa diundang
Seumur masa tercipta

Dia datang bagai sakti
Bagai menyaksi mekar
Kembang pagi

Cinta datang
Dengan senyuman
Panasnya membakar mentari

Wajah yang tergambar
Tak akan terpudar
Dari hati insan yang fana ini
Fana ini

Tak mungkin mentari
Akan terus sembunyi
Tiada sempadan
Tak bisa kulewati

Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan ragaku
Menantimu walau sengsara
Jika ini ketentuannya

Jika ini hakikatnya
Aku serahkan jiwa dan raga
Jika ini ketentuannya
Kaukan jadi milikku jua

funny how chilling it sounds when i listen to it as i read the lyrics. (imagining gusti puteri and hang tuah in puteri gunung ledang) macam.. adeh~!
love this song, anyways!! macam sangat klasik! :x

boyfriends are the bestt~!

ekekkeke. are they not? :P

went to class in the afternoon feeling horrible, knowing what fun i could've had if i didn't have that class with miss what's-her-name. she's... okaay, i know she meant well during those classes but she's really horrible!! huhuuu~
let's just say she's no fun.. and to top it off, she gave us an assignment; a report of somewhat that we're supposed to present tomorrow morning! X(

so then i came back home cyberia, to almost-nothingness. ehhe! the house was practically empty excluding rosie who was preparing to go out. huhuu~!
then i got a message from ablen who's going to get something to eat with dar in alamanda! hoyehhhhh~!! ikuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt~!! :x

maka, dapatlah membuang sedikit masa bersama mereka berdua. tidaklah saye keseorangan.. :D
and then coming back to cyberia, saw shahnon! hehhe! :P

okie! i am waaayyy too sleepy to sit here in front of this pc.
gudnite~! :P

ohh! really love this song though it kept me feeling hollow someway.. huhuu.
One Last Cry by Brian McKnight

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie

I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on and on

I'm gonna dry my eyes
Right after I end my one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I've gotta put you out of my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down
I guess I'm down...
to my last cry

horrible.. HORRIBLE!

sangat lupaaaaaaa~!! terok la wanie ni!!

HEPPI BELATED B'DAY SHAHNONNN!!
on september 29th!! kamu sudah tuaaaaaaa!!

heehee~! and this one i didn't forget, though.. almost! but didn't. :D
EPPI BELATED MAKCIK DAYAT!!
her's was on october 1st!

heehee.
no wonder i've been thinking too much of birthdays lately. :D

i DO know..

tengkiuuuk ablen gile! :D

so we went to see resident evil. met dar, fakhrul with 2 other girls in midvalley. had kfc for dinner, (tak abes!!) and ablen gile tak aci 'coz he only ate that tiny colonel burger! ahahhaha! (lelaki ape kamu ini?!) ekekkeke!
we then watched as dar ate away his nuggets in McD, teman dia pegi toilet.. yahh! SERONOK! ekkeke! :P
they watched the 11:20 show though.. so me and ablen wasted away some 25 minutes before our show. (rabbits are totally cute!!)

RESIDENT EVIL!
i think it was pretty okaaay!! nothing much to tell 'coz my gurlfriends has not yet seen it, so i better not spoil them.
tapi geram sama ablen gile. he's seen it and he kinda laughed when he sees me get surprised! tara guna. but it was neat to have him - who's seen it. 'coz he'd be warning me which part to be 'careful' at. ekkeke!!
domo arigatou ne ablen san~! :P

okay.. so i'm back here in cyberia.. and just finished talking to my goood boyfriend. (he's a boy, he's a friend!) - you know who you are.
thank you for caring! really!!
HUGGSS!! (i'll hug the teddi bear lah!)
i'll try my best, wokeh? :D thankksss!!

just something silly to read:
"When a Sagittarius child is born to a Scorpio parent, they need to give each other enough room to live their own lives, if they want to come together as a family. Their patience will be rewarded by the calm and reassuring relationship that will ensue.Sagittarius thrives on variety, novelty and optimism. Scorpio values the experiences which strengthen the family's emotional ties. Devoted Scorpio may wonder how they can be so different from their free wielding child, while Sagittarius may feel held back by their parent's emotional outbursts and displays. Scorpio mustn't smother or guilt their child, and Sagittarius must look at their parent and realize that they have their best interests at heart. If they make a little room for one another, and keep part of their lives private, this family will get along better in the long run. The best aspect of the Scorpio-Sagittarius family relationship is the security and flexibility they can give each other. They make a compatible team once they learn to look at the world through each other's philosophies. As long as they communicate openly and celebrate their differences, theirs will be a peaceful and loving family."

that's about me and mama there. ekekkeke! funny how it's seldom "peaceful" between us. (we did have yet another useless disagreement last weekend! :P)

okayy! it's SO late don't you think?? and i'm not even doing anything much! should get some sleep, but then again my class is only at 2! plenty of time to sleep later, yah? heehee!
gudmorning!!

a lump in my throat.

what do you know about that?

monday is always a bad day!
it's only good when your sister's around to take you shopping. :D since dida's not around.. i'm back with my philosophy.. MONDAY IS A BAD DAY!
and i really don't know how i got this way (i'm lying!) but i'm in a such crappy crappy mood!! God should forbid me from sitting in front of this computer for too long.. it'd usually make me feeling all too bad about myself. :(
aihhhhh.. curse you!!

this is bad. this is really really bad!!
i wish papa's hug can be carried away so i can have some even when he's not around. huhuuu.
why am i good for nothing except making myself feel horrible?? X( bluerrgthh!

Everybody's Changing by Keane

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cos everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

i guess i'm down.. :(