As mentioned.

Went to see the wreckage this morning.
She wasn't lying about being in a ditch.
And too bad for Dida.. her phone is officially gone. Couldn't find it anywhere. Must've dropped into the water.


What seemingly to be nothing horrid at all.


What's left of the car.


The ditch in question.


The dead labrador - and it's guts?


One of the hubcaps left in the water.


Recovered Daniel Bedingfield.


Where it all happened.

DIDA IS AN ARSE!!!

She got into an accident AGAIN!!! Can you believe her??
The stupid git.

This one was worse.. but she got out of the wreck pretty okay. Yes, wreck.
She was driving at 100km/h and somehow hit a "dog with a mission". As Dida had told us, it (the dog) was sitting pretty still on the road and when Dida tried to changed lanes, the dog changed it's position too. The damned dog!
So Dida had no choice but to ram the stupid dog - which then died (padan muke ko!) - but her car swerved to the side and hit the divider, and then it flipped a couple of times and landed on it's roof into a ditch - submerging her head for a few seconds before it turned to land back on it's "feet". (pardon the too many 'and's)
DAMN THE DOG!!!

She's okay. She's really fine. Just some scratches and cuts from the broken glasses.
Will probably upload a few pictures later.
Thank God there were people around to help her out.
God...

Dida said she's now considered a stuntman. Could even match Evil Knievel. She also said, "anjing memang haramm!" (dogs are definitely haram!)
And here's a community message from her; Don't speed, and always wear the seat belt.

Now tell me.. why shouldn't anyone get worried when she'll leave for Rotterdam??
(Good thing she won't be driving there!)

*sigh*

Pardon the sigh. I am feeling rather upset since yesterday evening.
As you might have known, Dida going to Rotterdam is now CONFIRMED. I suppose I have expected that news to come by this week. What I hadn't counted on was the when she'll be leaving.
This time next week.. she'll be hustling and bustling around for her things.
She's leaving on December 15th.
And I'm upset because of that.
She won't even be here for her birthday!!
I know she doesn't need a bash or something like that.. but she'll be celebrating birthday with no one she knows by her side. I mean.. o I don't know.. I seem to take this personally, don't I? I just think.. no one should be alone on their birthday. The thought.. is upsetting.

And she'll be gone for 3 months, be back here for 2 weeks, and get back there again. And we'll go this way again, then.
I'm just so used to having her around.. bugging me, nagging on me, pisses me off.. Now, how can I gossip with her about our parents?!! My one true ally will be gone for 3 WHOLE MONTHS!!!
Now I've lost all reason to be happy for her.

And me, being the very typical emotionally-retarded person me, have started to feel some sort of resentment towards my sister.
How messed up can a person get?
*sigh*
Maybe I'll just die and stop having feelings.

Note: To those who are thinking I'm being overly dramatic and that I'm just blowing things out of proportion.. Go piss someone else!

---------
A quick update:
Got a call. A part-time job offer, starts Monday. Might actually take it even though I'd have to spend half of the salary on transportation alone.
O well. Not like I have better things to do once Dida's gone.

7:34 pm @ December 8th, 2005

Noone wants to be alone.

Am I right, or am I right?
heh! I don't remember what I was thinking just now.. but I know I was thinking of that line right at the end of my thoughts.
eh.. am I making sense?
O well, probably this will make things a little clear; saw The Perfect Man just now.. Couldn't sleep. I thought it was enjoyable. Not great, but "enjoyable" - definitely. Starting to like Hilary Duff more - maybe because Joel Madden is her boyfriend. *lol*

Change of subject!
Apple now has a trailer of the upcoming X3 movie!! wooot~!! GO HERE!
Out May 26th. Seems like I'm going to reaaaally like May next year!! (Da Vinci Code will be out on the 19th!)
Yeayy! This is bloody brilliant!

#17 - Role Model.

Saw Ice Princess last night and the first thing I noticed was the soundtrack at the opening! So I look up on it and found this girls;

They're sisters; Aly & AJ, and if you watch enough Disney Channel, you'd notice that Aly, is a matter of fact Keely in Phil of The Future!
Anyway, if you go to their website, you could listen to bits of their music and watch their video.. so, get!
(No One is the song I heard - and love! - in Ice Princess.)

Tonight on House!
At a high-level campaign fundraiser, a senator becomes violently ill. Vogler forces House to take the senator's case and offers to let off the hook on firing a team member if he'll deliver a speech on behalf of Vogler's pharmaceutical company.

now.. what will he do, eh?
heehee.

E noi dovrem, ahimè, morir.

A line from a song, of course.
I hardly know any other language than English and Malay. heh!

Hope you had a good weekend!
Mine was simply fine.

Have a good week ahead, everyone!

-----
A lil' update on this fine Monday afternoon.
Found a funny Mad TV spoof of House!
You can download from this link! (right click and "Save Target As...")

- file hosted by BD212.
- discovered at play.house
1:52 pm

Dida called. She's going.
Heart - dropped.
2:40 pm @ December 5th, 2005

For some odd reasons..

and I don't know why;

- I feel like a day of my life is missing. I spent the whole yesterday thinking that it was Thursday until my father asked if I knew Dida's plans for the weekends. He told me that the day was Friday and I can't help but gape in wonder.

- I am sooo bothered by House's episode titles for the last five of the second season. Bothered. Verrry bothered. Those episodes are called: Need To Know, Happiness, Skin Deep, Heartless, and Clueless. Is it only me, but they sounds very melancholic and.. oh, I don't know.. A possibility that there'll be more character development - and probably sad ones?

- I searched for some spoilers on Lost. Well, it's not exactly odd that I went off finding it, but I'm not as obsessed about it as I am with House. Aaanyway, it's all because of one o'those small cuts on AXN! They've hinted on the next person who got killed on the island. *sigh* Yeah, now I know who gets the 'X' - in the second season. (TV haven't started on the second season yet, over here.)

- Tom dyed his hair dark (brown, likely.) bluergthhh! Well, not THAT awful but I'm just so used to him being blonde. *sigh* Their new single out on this 12th December. The video was creepily neat! I liked it.


------

And to my dear non-evil twin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
May the age finally match your level of maturity this time 'round! heehee.

I've finally done it.

Yes I did.

Finally made a friend in one o' those online community who told me exactly where to find House videos and download them!
Amazing.. Amazing people those are!


I didn't really went downloading crazy.. So far I've only seen two episodes in advance! One is of the first season, the other is from the second season! Really, not so bad, my obsession. Am still looking forward to next week's episode; I don't plan on downloading anymore from the current season on AXN.
There's something about being all anxious that excites me. heh!

For one night I didn't hog the remote control - cause I hogged the computer, o'course! Watched videos religiously; Bend It Like Beckham (out of curiosity) and that two episodes of House!
Probably should go off to bed now, yeah?

I crack myself up.

No pun intended, but if you get the pun, it'd be fine.. heh!
So what does this remind you of?


Just put up a new layout. The theme is.. well, the theme is PURPLE, and the photos.. I'll tell you about that somewhere mid this month. hehe!

Finally got well in 7 days! heehee. My immune system kicks in in seven days! Lousy, but it works!! yeayy!

And this one is for Azraai. (takdelaa best sangat lagu ni!)
[embeded file removed. -sorry!]
The Beatles - In My Life

Imagine

by John Lennon

[embeded file removed!]

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Have a g'nite, everyone.

----
Was thinking about the latest episode of House on AXN. (Boy, I'm such a sucker for.. ohh, never mind!) Just to say that I'm going to enjoy these last.. six episodes. Yeah, things are just getting better. Honestly, I would cringe at some things by the 21st episode but I'd love the rest of it nonetheless.
(note: last night on AXN was episode 16; Heavy.)
Am really looking forward to next week! Will love Cameron more. heh!

Chirpy.

Relatively unwell.. but chirpy indeed.

Just saw Must Love Dogs - illegal download; should be ashamed of myself! - and simply loved it!! (despite the baad sound and several shadows moving about.)
John Cusack - LOVE HIM!! He's definitely one of my favourite romantic-comedy actors there is out there. Loved him since America's Sweethearts! A little dopey, but SO charming! Him and Diane Lane.. love them both!
Ooh~ the tagline for Must Love Dogs is; "The hardest trick is making them stay". Smart!

Been doing nothing productive today, but I'm not going to get depressed over it.
Tuesday is my day!! (Although I can't confirm that it has always been. I think I used to love Thursday during my school days, but Wednesday.. Wednesday has definitely never been a favourable day.) I'm rambling. Tuesday.. is currently my FAVOURITE DAY!
So much to look forward on the telly! (Right now you would probably think that I really really am a couch potato.) Am only listening to the wise words of a man; "read less, more TV." heh! (Houseism)

Aaaanyways, TV is not the only reason why I love Tuesday - I just.. do! It's like one of those things that just happen with no apparent reason.
Rambling again.
Stopping now.

(I actually took 21minutes to type these out! *gaped in wonder*)

My immune system is pathetic.

I think I'm down with some sort of a cross between flu and fever virus. I know one side of my face hurts, and I'm not going to freak myself out by Googling on my symtoms. *sigh* Probably should've taken some Panadol when I got it last week. Actually I still haven't had any sort of medicine to help me get better! But since I'm not complaining, no one's fussing on me to eat any pills - which is perfectly fine.. for now!
Kinda experimenting on myself actually. Let's see when my antibody will kick in and kick this virus outta me. heh!

Now I'm amusing myself by thinking if I had a doctor like House. haha! He would've probably been so annoyed to see me come into the exam room with just a slightly higher temperature and a runny nose.
Is there ANY doctors like him? He's just so... humm.. actually I haven't had a single word to describe him yet. Maybe "complex". Complex works, but it doesn't portray anything special, as he is, is it? O well!

Everyone's been talking about Dida going to Rotterdam. I'm slightly.. glum. It hasn't been confirmed yet, so a part of me wishes that she wouldn't have to go after all. Of course, that is only the envious part of me talking. And yeah, I'll miss her bossiness loads. Six to eight months.. It'll be like when Nina and Dida were in boarding school again, and I had always cried whenever I came along to send them to JB. Had always wished I could've stayed with them. *sigh* Really feels like I'm eleven again.

But Rotterdam would do Dida good, I'm sure of it. It's like a really really good chance for her to grow.. gain experience.. improve her English? haha! Well, she's brilliant, but she needs to talk more of it.
So I want her to go. She deserves to go. She should go.
Maybe later she'll come back with an incredible pressie for me like last time! heh! (Last time: she went to China and came back with a guitar for me.) *sigh* And maybe she'll come back with a handsome Dutch of a boyfriend. heehee!

Yeah, Dida should be picked for the Rotterdam post, and I shall be happy for it.

Storytelling.

My idea of a kinda good day. Well, sort of. It was spoilt by some things, you'll see what I mean by the end of this entry.
Basics, I woke up in the morning, (such a rarity!) got to shower and off to the mall. It would've been just a perfect kind of morning if I hadn't realized that I've forgotten to stuff my black pen inside my bag while inside the train. I was hoping to get some writing done, so it bugged me so much that I went to get a new pen once l've reached Midvalley. *grunts* Yes, I did.
Anyway, I don't really have any 'business' to settle for the day, but I thought I should get out of the house or I'll never shower! (eh, confession #75, last time I showered before this morning was last Monday!! ahahhaha!)


Then I spent a little time at the line for GSC. So glad that I did! The best RM5 I spent! Took opportunity of the European Union Film Festival and saw A Good Woman, starring Scarlett Johannson and Helen Hunt. Loved the film! So simple, so witty! Loved it when the old men talk about love and marriage. They were the funniest; trying to divert the woman's attention from their withering looks and age to their hefty money. heehee. Smart scripts.


Afterwards I went to Nina's office and just talked. Been a while since we last did that. Love Nina for showing much enthusiasm to every word I said about Harry Potter, House and some other things. Always the good listener, she is. (Always, always appreciate a good listener! So hard to come by.)
Then of course, at 5:30 she head back home as I trot towards my mom's office. Just killing time until Dida's ready to come pick us up from her work. (Such a bugger, having a workaholic of a sister.)


Then here comes the nasty part. As me and my mom walked towards the Putra commuter station, we were stalked and then stopped by this seemingly half-minded person who suddenly just asked, "awak duduk mana?" ("where do you live?") I was.. speechless as funny/stupid things race into mind. My mom, being the typical panic-stricken woman that she is, thought that we should turn around and well.. get help. Didn't know what she was thinking, turning her back (and pulled mine) on that man, but I wasn't exactly a big help there. I was more focused on his hands that were lingering at his pockets. As I dottily followed where ever my mom pulls me I kept thinking how easily that man could've hit the back of my head. *sigh* (By the way, that man was still tailing us all that time.)
And then! heehee. A colleague of my mom's walked by and she told him all about the creep and he talked that creep away. *cheer cheer!*
(Sorry, not a very good suspense-thriller writer, am I?)

** viewers discretion advised **
Then the more nasty part.. Dida, the damned lucky bastard. (Yeah, she's my sister, I know.. Well, SHE SUCKS!!) Just found out that she is likely to be posted in Rotterdam for six to eight months. Rotterdam!! Darned Rotterdam!! Right across the English Channel from United Kingdom! Some miles away from Paris!! ROTTEN-DAMN!!! *screams in distress - yet silently*

Annoyed.
Extremely annoyed.

O well. But she's definitely in a good mood! Had a very nice dinner. heehee.


>> additional photos from Storytelling.

Confession #74

(Of course, that's only a randomly picked number. Even I don't spend any time trying to trace the times I've confessed something in public; blog = public)

I like it when people are being honest with me, when they are putting theirselves out, to become truly vulnerable to someone. But I have a hard time being vulnerable. I have a hard time even admitting that I feel vulnerable. If Jack says, "if you jump, I jump," I'd say, "I see the splash when you jump, then I jump."
It's like, when I like someone, I'd do things to make him guess that I have feelings for him, but I'd never actually tell him even though it's the easiest way to go with. Consciously I trust people with my feelings, subconsciously I can't trust people with my true feelings.
Like when people ask me if I'm being absolutely truthful in my blog.. I'd say "NO". (well, the real answer would be between me and this blog, now wouldn't it? heehee.)
I see no reason for people to mask their lives, when in truth I'm masking myself. Why the heck is that? Why do I talk in circles?

Okay, I won't be surprised if other people claims that they are having troubles with being vulnerable as well. I'm just pointing mine out because I'm a big 'supporter' of fairness. Being just is important to me. If you smack me, I'd smack you back; that's fair. So why should my vulnerability is any different from others'? Why can't I seem to pour my heart out when the other person is? Why can't I be FAIR??

Freud had said: instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it.
Was that it? I feel threatened??
*grunts* Psychology is so confusing!

Transcripts.. House... makes you think! *sigh*

---------------------
On a different note, I just can't stop smiling with tears in my eyes now. This is, of course what usually happens when I'm hyper-excited about something - and I AM! Just very very excited. heehee! My cheeks' muscle are getting tired now.

Miserably in love.

I've been thinking.. (no, it doesn't pain me. heh!) Who ever taught me that I need to be miserable to be happy? It's sick, I know.. but that's.. me. Exactly the reason why I enjoy myself better when I'm crushing over someone than actually being with that person. The idea of blindly adoring a boy for almost 2 years than being attached to him for 2 months. And I have a friend who can't be with someone who won't argue with her. So, what's wrong with people like us? I'm sure there's a book somewhere that would have a really smart description on my psychological condition, but until I find that book, I really wish to have a temporary explanation. Curious. Very curious, indeed.

I believe nobody is as interesting as yourself. (does that call as self-absorbed?) I'm only saying, no one's worth discovering until you discover yourself. *wink*

Getting back to where I've started from; a particular story that just pains me. An old guy, still in love with the woman he used to live with even though she's happily married with some other man. The woman loves both men but she can't stand being around the old guy. She was feeling guilty for something she had done a couple years ago and the old guy is punishing her for it. She was only trying to save his life, but he's blaming her for not following his clear "instructions". Well, it's a complicated thing, love. The old man is bitter and alone since then, yet he doesn't let anyone into his heart. Stupid. Stupid.

Point is, I don't want to be bitter and alone. I don't want to be miserable to be in love. And yet why can't I be in love without feeling miserable all the same? Why does the idea of paining myself for love doesn't bother me as much as it probably should? Some would argue that if it's love, if it's meant to be, you shouldn't be in pain at all! So why exactly am I what I am? Is an explanation possible at all? I'm miserable when in love, and perfectly fine when I'm not.
I'm... damaged, aren't I? I'm damaged even without ever being burned. I filled my head with ideas of perfection but it's nowhere near to perfect. Stupid. Stupid.
*sigh* Cheers to those who aren't in love.

snort.

I'm definitely having my "annoyed days"; when I simply get irritated with everything and anyone for perfectly no reason. (No, it's not the time of the month.)
I suppose this time it's because of my not-so-healthy condition. (Inconsistant sleeping hours are getting the best of me?) Feeling lousy all over. And today I had a pain at a serious point. Felt like one of those stabbing sensation.

I really really need to get a check up done. (but I hate clinics and hospitals!!) For some reasons, sickness scares me. Quick, instant death doesn't seem to scare me as much as slow.. really slow death.
So what does that tell about me? *ponders*
Funny, I can't imagine myself dying in a bed. (But I don't want to die all bloody either!) heehee. Okay. Going to stop talking about dying now. I'm starting to scare myself..

Slept very late last night.

Now I have extremely puffy eyes and a nasty sore throat. Remind me, why exactly did I checked on House spoilers?
Aah~ right, obsession.
I need to find a cure to boredom if I ever want to be obsessed-free. I swear, the only reason I am what I am is because of my constant need of a form of entertainment. (sounds dangerous, doesn't it?) As you might have guessed, I'm cranky because some things doesn't seem to be going my way. (don't know why the heck not! "My way" is definitely better!) I know, I know.. it's only a tv show. I'm fussing over a show, but what else can I obsess about if not tv shows?? Still think it's better than actually obsessing about a real person who doesn't deserve my time, nor my thoughts to begin with. (do I come off as somewhat bitter?) Kinda sounds like I am, eh? But I'm NOT! Bitter doesn't suit me. I may be mean, but bitter.. not possible. Anyways, getting back to my point that has been vague since I started this post; I really need to learn self-resistent. Give me boredom and a little resources.. I'd fall into the more-tempting dark world that should be easily described as "patheticness". note: I'm trying to make my words sound a little grander, if you hadn't noticed. A friend had quoted, "you have a unique sense of something" (when it comes to words.) Yeah, and she has a knack for tagging me by so many names, as the friend in question being Muz. I really need to get new friends.. but I'm annoyed by most people! gah! Just the other day I heard my sister answered politely to a semi-perverted guy who dialed her phone by mistake. To think, that I am even rude to the people I KNOW who calls me! I'm coming off rude and I have low-tolerance to sulky, incompetent salesperson who seem to think they're beeing funny when they can't answer my questions. I suppose most people are, but they try being nice and laugh at those dumb jokes. Not me, though. I show no mercy to eejits. I don't get why people work in services when they can't even spare a smile. Suppose there's that money issue: need cash badly, no matter what the job is. But God! People like that should be banned from services. What the heck were they thinking.. selling stuff with a gloom above their heads. Gits! See what I had just done? I was babbling, rambling and ranting.. and they were of 8 different topics, triggered by a simple dissatisfaction on one casual obsession. Just to show how bad it is. Obsession is not endearing, obsession is one way to see a desperation. And desperation is pathetic! (there's number 9 right there.)

I am glutted!!!

urrgh. My stomach's so full, my head hurts!! *grunts*

Went out for a celebratory dinner at Chili's. Yesterday was Mama's birthday and we couldn't celebrate it since Dida went to her colleagues' open houses all day.

Now I shall lay down in front of the telly and wait for the food to settle a bit. Dida prodded my tummy a few times after dinner and I don't feel too good since, the git.

G'nite!

Self resistence.

I HAVE to learn how one of these days.
*sigh*
Was bored, (by now you should know that I'd usually do things that I shouldn't have or babble endlessly when I get bored, but in this case;) I Googled on House. *grins*
(I'm hopeless, I know.. Muz reckons I'm a "social butterfly" for having a knack with seeing other people's relationship progression, but I believe she totally misused that term - I-AM-NOT A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, thank you very much.) But I do have a knack in seeing chemistry between people - as long as I'm not included. My feelings blinds everything. Typical.

Anyways! How did I ever get tagged as experienced in relationships anyways?? Now to think about it.. Rai claimed that I was. And I used to know this girl who'd come to me for my thoughts on her potential-boy. Honestly! And everyone else have had better long-lasting relationship than I had. This is mind boggling!
Either they just didn't realize how pathetic I've been in my own social life, or they seem to think that I was smart. Really smart.
AHHAHAHHAHAHAH!! Hilarious. That can't possibly be it.

Eh, I went off course. House! I found this one site with the full season's transcripts. heehee. I know it should spoil my entire viewing experience, but I couldn't help it! Plus, I don't find it too wrong if I looked it up myself. Unless someone had told me about it without me even asking, I'd wallop that person's arse in an instant!
I'd say.. obviously the show has some brilliant script writers cause I have no problem laughing at them by just reading. Then I found this line.. bittersweet, don't you think?
"I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong. You just couldn’t love me. It’s okay. I’m happy for you."
Sorry if it gave out ideas.. just had to share this line. Period.

Anyways, here's McFLY's She Falls Asleep.
One sad song I love. If there had been a girl's voice in it, the song would've probably sounded more sad. Tom wrote this one. Said he's a fan of John Williams; explains the music, yeah? (sorry if you can't play it! not exactly sure how this works.)
[embeded file removed!]

Another boring entry.

These are the stuff I have by my bed:
Books; Oxford Advanced English Dictionary, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, PS I Love You, Tuesdays With Morrie, my journal & black Pilot pen.
Headphone, two purses, old movie stubs, out-dated letters that I should have sent, A4 notepad, Starbucks' insulating sleeve, Hush Puppies "Favourite Shoes" catalogue, Post-It Index Flags, a Raya card someone had sent me, thumbdrive, and the latest copy of Elle Girl which I had bought just because of the person on the cover.


Heehee. I have lotsa junk apparently.

One dark night.

What a long rainy evening it has been!
Was bored.. so I took some pictures of outside from my room window.

I know, you can barely see anything but it was taken by Dida's cool Palm Zire 71. (which has been my favourite gadget lately. I practically dominate this thing.)


Then I took pictures with my mom's Samsung Digimax 230. Bulky - which was the reason I retired it from my bag a couple of months ago. And it uses up the battery like madness!

But the pictures turn out better, of course! Actually I just found out that there's an option for "film" quality! heehee.

ISO 200

ISO 400

Dah.. enough yacking. I am SO bored.
G'nite world!

Read and think.

..I saw you and became empty.
This emptiness, more beautiful than existence,
it obliterates existence, and yet when it comes,
existence thrives and creates more existence!

The sky is blue,
the world is a blind man squatting on the road.
But whoever sees your emptiness
sees beyond blue and beyond the blind man.

..Why should we grieve that we've been sleeping?
It doesn't matter how long we've been unconscious.
We're groggy, but let the guilt go.
Feel the motions of tenderness around you, the buoyancy.

Excerpts from my favourute favourite poem at the moment, Buoyancy by Rumi.
Have a good day, people!

"Well done, moral fibre!"

Excellent day!! Well, may not have been as I hoped it would be.. but I don't have a lot to complain. Spent exactly 13 hours outside and I'm really really pooped! (But apparently not too pooped to hold this update 'til tomorrow.)

Although we had planned to watch The Legend of Zorro, due to some unavoidable circumstances we had to miss it. *sigh* To kill time, we went to KLCC! (which we later left at quarter to 5 so we wouldn't miss Harry Potter in GSC at 5:30 pm!) We yacked, we walked, and we met Muz' brooding guy friend whom she calles "Aries guy"; who most of the time makes me feel like I should give a good slap at the back of his head. (if I could reach it.) He's really not a bad guy, but he never smiles! Except this one time when I made him laugh.. at exactly 8:45 pm - yes, I wrote the time down.
Ooh, we saw Wardina at Coffee Beans around lunch!


Okay!! Now I shall talk about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Harry Potter dan Gelas Berapi - believe it!) Surprisingly.. I can't complain! Really! I sort of loved it! I love Mike Newell!!! heehee. I thought it was bloody brilliant! Of course they left some things out, but they did most of the things I love in the book! The funny ones especially! Me liiike!! It was sort of odd in some way.. This one was both the funniest, yet the darkest of all four.
The best Harry Potter movie yet. SO much better than Prisoner of Azkaban. Although you sense that little rush that they need to get the film done for 2 hours and 37 minutes, I'd say.. THIS IS STILL THE BEST HARRY POTTER MOVIE YET!!!
Go see it! Go see it!!!
Emma and Dan was really really brilliant in this one. Just love them both! Too bad Rupert didn't get as much screen time as the other two. Ooh~ and the Phelps brothers!! (Weasley twins) Love them!! Ralph Fiennes.. ooooh~ I didn't exactly imagine Lord Voldermort looking like that.
Alright alright.. enough promoting. Go see it for yourself! Wouldn't wanna spoil your viewing pleasure. heehee.

(by the way.. I've finally found a dead Pak Arab poet that I can adore! - I've been adoring dead English/American poets all these while. Feels nice somehow! hihihi!)

Goodnight goodnight, world!!

Trailing days..

heehee. The title would definitely NOT reflect the real entry for today.
Was bored, so I had spent the last couple of hours on Apple's movie trailer page. I can't believe the number of movies I'd like to see! If only I'd been living in the States, then I'd probably seen half of the movies on my list.
In Her Shoes (12th Jan,2006)
Elizabethtown (2nd Feb, 2006)
Prime (9th Feb, 2006)
Rumor Has It (9th Feb,2006) - Mark Ruffalo! heehee.
Yours, Mine & Ours - Danielle Panabaker as one of the kids!
Brokeback Mountain

(those are the dates when the movie will be released here)
*sigh*

hihihihi!

I am rather giggly tonight, after seeing MTV's Never Before Scenes of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I know I shouldn't watch those things, but I can't help it!! I'm just SO anxious!!

Thursday is going to be SUCH a movie date for me and Muz. I've already booked Zorro 2 for the morning (yeah, we both haven't seen it) and Harry Potter for the afternoon; well, late afternoon more like. Can't wait!! Really excited.

Really really excited!! Have always wanted to waste money on multiple movies on the same day! Finally getting it! hihihihihi!

And now I shall wait patiently for Thursday.. and House on 2am! hihhihihi.
All giggly.
G'nite world!

eh.. Disturbed...

Just found out about this movie. Really disturbing.
Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal?
*sigh* Such a sad saad day...
(but I heard the film is good! - very verrry good.)

House

I love talking about House. Everytime I think about the show.. I can think up of something philosphical. Looking forward to tomorrow for another episode on AXN. Another 8 episodes of this current first season. And since I know no self-resistant, I've looked up on some episode summaries and now I'm especially looking forward to the 20th episode!
(That's six weeks from now.. *sigh*)

Scary questions.

Hihi. Cik Ila just asked me one of the scariest questions I've ever met in my life.

Are you happy?

Hihi. (If you'd known me pretty well.. I usually dodge - or TRY to dodge "hard" questions with laughter.)
I'm a person of ideas.. to explain exactly my thoughts and what I feel would probably take half a day. Plus, "happy" is so abstract to me.
So, questions like "are you happy?" or "what are your plans?" or "are you in love?" just give me shivers most of the time.

But in attempt to answer your question, Cik Ila..
I am mostly happy. Of course there's room for me to be happier but I'll work on that sometime soon.

To fellow MMU students, good luck in the new semester!
And I'd like to give a shout out to my couzie Sarah who's starting her exam today! whooppee! Hope she'll do a great job! My sisters are blaming my batch for the horrible impression on the smaller couzies.
(There are seven elder ones in my extended family then there's me with my two cousins in the same batch. The elders did respectively great on their SPM and us three.. pretty much started the sucky ones. hehe!)

These kids are SO grown up!

Looking forward to next Thursdaayy! I indulged myself to a short clip from the film that isn't in the trailer and now I'm just so excited to laugh about it with Muz!

Three cheers!!!

Stupid Frank Lampard.

Gooooood Michael Owen!!
And Wayne Rooney.
And Steven Gerrard,
and Joe Cole.
(and who ever passed the ball to Rooney for the first goal - which I didn't get to see cause my mom was watching this lame Hindi movie on TV2)

Brilliant brilliant play at the last minutes. hihi.

New textbook.

That's what Tuesdays With Morrie shall be to me from now on.
Although the story left me pretty poignant once I finished reading it, I really reaaally hope I'd be able to see life as Morrie had seen it.

See. I've been told that I've kept my guard up all the time. And once, a guy told me that I am afraid of getting hurt. So! The question is, don't you have to be broken to be afraid?? Honestly, I don't remember being burned so how did I become.. broken? It doesn't make any sense!
And it just upsets me, reading all the time Morrie talks about love.
Well, I've forgotten what my point was when I started this but certainly.. I still have lots of things to figure out!

Okay. Moving on.. I got a silly short message at 12 am this morning! It was a birthday wish for me - which wasn't until next month!! *rofl*
Going to be nice here by not saying his name. But I kinda like the idea of embarrassing him a little by this post! hihi. Sorry.. too much temptation!

Good night, world!

A sorrowful day..

I'm very close to tears today. Reading about Morrie did something to me. Of course, I've never been too shy with my emotions, but Morrie made me realize how stumpy my feelings really are. I realize today that I still have a lot of things to learn.. to feel. I also realize that I haven't shown my true feelings to the ones I love.
So I hugged my mom. And I hugged my dad. I couldn't say any words, though. So I hoped that they had felt my heart going to them in the embrace.

And earlier today I was working on something dear to me. For some odd reasons I can't help but started to weep.
For these tears are a wise man, who had died long before I was born. His goodness will I remember and his wisdom will I try to follow.

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Winston Churchill.

 On this day, Morrie says he has an exercise for us to try.
We are to stand, facing away from our classmates, and fall backward, relying on another student to catch us. Most of us are uncomfortable with this, and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping ourselves. We laugh in embarrassment.

 Finally, one student, a thin, quiet, dark-haired girl whom I notice almost always wears bulky white fisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes, leans back, and does not flinch, like one of those Lipton comercials where the model splashes into the pool.

 For a moment, I am sure she is going to thump on the floor. At the last instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders and yanks her up harshly.
 "Whoa!" several students yell. Some clap.

 Morrie finally smiles.
 "You see," he says to the girl, "you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

Home by half-ten.

Had an enjoyable day with Muz. Although she kept me waiting for almost an hour, it's really hard to be mad at her! She's simply.. one of the very few people that I give a rat's ass. (That pretty much translates as "one of the very few people that I listen to")

Anyways! Saw Just Like Heaven and loved it! I suppose you could say that it's a chick flick, but as Will Smith had said about his movie Hitch, I'd say this one is a "comedy romance" than the usual romantic comedy.
That Mark Ruffalo.. such a scruffy charming man - ME LIKE!! ekkeke! The film was fun. Lots of witty lines, such as "God made alcohol as a social lubricant. To make men brave, and to make women loose!" Who actually talks like that?? hihi.
Though it has a different ending than the original novel If Only It Were True by Marc Levy. So if you're planning on seeing this one, DON'T make the same mistake as I did! (I picked the book up in MPH some two weeks ago and flipped it through to the last few pages so I'd know how it ends. I know - it should be a CRIME!) I was slightly disappointed that it didn't end as the book did, but it wasn't so bad. GO SEE IT!

Checked around the bookstore and finally.. FINALLY!! I bought this book! Had always always wanted to own it, so FINALLY! Don't feel like reading it at my usual pace though. I'm going to take it slow and easy. Morrie.. wonderful wonderful man.


Spent RM83 the entire day. I'm coming to terms that I may never save a cent.

G'nite world!

About a boy.

I received a call from an old friend yesterday. Well, not exactly an old friend.. he was an acquaintance that got in touch with me since the past week or so.
I thought he was amazing! Well, maybe not really amazing, but amusing, definitely.
I never ever chatted with him or spoke a word with him. We had only started communicating through that Friendster messaging last week. Then we exchanged numbers and started smsing. So yesterday he called me and asked if I wanted to hang out. Being a very typical of me, I said "no" o'course. I even manage to make it come out pretty rude. And then, later that night he called again for a chat and surprisingly it was fun!

I never thought that we could actually talk for quite some time (until his battery died) when we've never exchanged words since.. ever! (we were classmates when we were 15) Later he smsed saying he had fun talking to me. hihi! How 'bout that..

It's been so long since I last talked to people outside my circle, I've forgotten how charming I could be.
AHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

G'nite world.

------------
ooh~ update!

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

I find this amusing! I actually never used purple before.. hummm.. *pondering blissfully*

Euurgghh!

Irritated for being so uninspired and sodding lazy.

Trying to think of some theme to make a new layout for the blog. Getting tired of looking at myself too much. And don't you think the pic looks a bit depressing? Well, I think it's a little depressing. Don't know why the heck I like to take pictures of the top of my head. It's not even remotely attractive!

Going to pause all thoughts until I come up with a new layout.

hush hush.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire premieres... yesterday in London.(Malaysia time!)
How annoying.
And I have to wait for a whole 10 days before I get any chance of seeing it in the cinema. I expect that I'll complaint a lot once I've seen it, but the thought shouldn't hinder me from actually seeing it now should it?
I've already made plans to see it with Muz and she was shocked when I asked her yesterday. (I'm a terrible planner and she knows it!)

Hopefully she won't be too busy tomorrow. (Later today, I mean.) Kinda hoping to have lunch with her, though I haven't asked her yet. hehe.

My whole darned body aches!!!

Try spending most of 15 hours in a car.

Me and the rest of the family went to Perak on 3rd Syawal. I suppose we didn't mean to stay in the car for that long, but Mama thought we should visit this one house that she'd never been to. Spent almost 2 hours just trying to find it!
Then, instead of heading straight back home Papa had promised to visit Cik Mohlis first. (Silent H! He's my father's brother anyways.) It was fine, but I hope everyone would just stop asking me when I'd finish school!! (ooh~ but Cik Mohlis gave me RM15 for duit raya! ahahha!! and Cik GG said that I have a nice figure! WAHHAHAHA!!)
Nina and Jasmin Abg. Min were supposed to spend the night in Shah Alam but something happened and they decided to go back to Seremban instead.

Sorry if this post doesn't make too much sense. My body just aches so bad, too much pain signals and my brain is left disabled to think of anything else.

I must've went speechless at least a dozen times since the past three days. Maybe I should stick a post-it on my forehead telling that everyone ought to stop asking me what I've been up to.

Sleepless in Shah Alam.

G'morning world!

I remembered my science teacher used to say; if you're insomniac; you can't get to sleep at night, you should refrain yourself from napping in the afternoon.
I knew she was right..
Yet I napped anyways!
Now I'm suffering the consequence.

First Raya was fine. Didn't get to see most of my uncs, aunties and couzies though. Me and the family head out at about 11 and once we got to Meru (that's in Klang, if you hadn't known) Papa phoned his brother and he told Papa that he and the rest were just about to go out and visit the rest of the extended family.
So we end up visiting that extended family members but never bumped into the couzies.
(Am I making any sense here?)

After that we went back home since Papa didn't feel too well.
But at 9pm, we (me, Dida and Mama) went off to see Wan-de in Keramat. Always liked visiting her 'coz she's a pretty fine cook! hihi. (Wan-de is my mom's eldest sister.)
Only head back home at 11!

Read today's horoscope on Friendster and I find it highly amusing!
Sagittarians can deal with just about anything. They can make a joke of it, laugh it off and move on. But there's one thing a Sag just can't stand to hear: 'If you loved me, you would.' In your mind, that translates into a threat to your personal freedom, and it definitely won't work. (It also sounds like a precursor to guilt, something else Sags can't stand.) Heaven help anyone who tries any of that on you now.

Finally remembered to download this.. a song which I simply ADORE!
Counting Down The Days by Natalie Imbruglia

You were right
And I don't wanna be here
If you're gonna be there
Was that supposed to happen?

I'll hold tight
I'll remember to smile
Though it has been a while
And without you does it matter?

There's no room
No place to start
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days

How've you been?
It's just the usual here
And days are feeling like years
And every day's without you

Now I cry
Just a little too much
When I think of your touch
And everything about you

I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

I'm counting down the days

I'm gonna be your surprise
I'm gonna hold you so tight

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
I'd hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

A million miles away from here

Btw, to those who smsed me well-wishes these last few days, I promise I'll send a reply as soon as I can! hihi.

Thursday!!

To my favourite favourite people,
Sorry if I'd done anything so wrong that I actually have to be sorry for. hehe!
I'm sure if there's any, I didn't mean to. Really.

To everyone else,
Hope you'll have loads of fun, good food and duit raya!!
Remember, my birthday is next month! ahahahha!!

Take care all!

Wonderfalls!

Man, why the heck did the show had to be cancelled after one season. *sigh*
I'm so SO SOOO glad that Eric and Jaye end up together (sort of) in the end! It just gives off the impression that you really don't need to chase love; that if things are meant to be.. it will be!
heehee.

Goodnight world!

Definitely pooped!

I shall refrain myself from going any farther than ten feet from my house's door.. for at least this next two days!

Wasn't planning on going out today, but Mama bribed me by saying that she'll buy me something if I come along. So we all end up going out for a last minute shop before the Deevali/Eid Mubarak this coming Tuesday and Thursday.

We went to Midvalley and pretty much looked around for something nice to buy. Mama bought me a pinstriped pants (which I've always wanted!!) while she and Dida bought some Raya panties. ahahhahaha!! (Dida went hysterical that I'm posting this!)
We also went to check the Real Rewards store since Papa wants to see if there was anything worth to redeem with our fourteen thousand points but Dida reckoned that we should wait out and collect a lil' bit more points for the microwave. hehe!
(boring details, I know.)

We also checked out Kompleks PKNS and Plaza Shah Alam - which were horribly packed! A bit surprising, but of course I've never really shopped around Shah Alam in mid-festivities.

So! 6 hours spent outside has just left me feeling extremely tired!! I better get some lie down or I'd fall off this sofa.
Goodnight, pretty people!

Ohh right, by the end of the day Dida bought a new sofa for home - this sofa!

pa·thet·ic

adj.
1. Arousing or capable of arousing sympathetic sadness and compassion;
2. Arousing or capable of arousing scornful pity.

Exactly what I thought of Manchester United's goal keeper, Van der Sar. Really.
Currently watching the match between Man U and Middlesbrough - and hating it. I fear that I have lost any reason to watch them play ever again. I'm even caring more for Bolton Wanderers as Dida notices more of Wigan Athletic FC.

Oh great, Middlesbrough just scored another goal. What's happening here???

Man U is #5 in the current standing and Middlesbrough in number 12 for God's sake!! And Arsenal at #8 as Liverpool at thirteen? The only team maintaining their pride is Chelsea - which I think is just as pathetic.
(sorry, has never been a Chelsea fan!)

Bah! The English Premiere League has simply lost their excitement in my point of view. I believe it all started when David Beckham went to Real Madrid. I'm not exactly a fan of his, but I just loved the way he clicked with his team mates. Ooh~ and last week I just found out that Steven Gerrard has a fiancee and a baby. bluerghh.
There goes another person that I would-have talked about on the blog! haha!

Don't get me wrong, I'm NOT like one of those girls who watched football because they liked fit European men running around in shorts. I love watching football for the sake of loving the game itself - or I couldn't possibly went to the stadium and watch Selangor play!
But of course.. when it comes to EPL, watching fit European men running around is an added bonus!

I think it's just sad that even despite the pathetic-ness of Manchester United, I am still sitting here in front of this laptop, in front of the telly - rooting and hoping that somehow my team would catch up and win this match - possibly by miracle, of course! heh!

It's almost poetic, my loyalty.

But now, I find that it'd be impossible for Man U to catch up to three goals!
- put Selangor in their place, they'd surely be able to catch up! ahahhahahhahahahaha!!

Behold!!

Finally got the refill for my pen.
You may cheer now coz I should stop yapping as much as I've been the past 6 days. hehe.

Btw Shahnon, ape pasal miskol at 2:54 am? Mau cari gado ka?
ekkekekeke!

Have a good day, people!
--original post at 1:03 PM--

I on the other hand just spent the whole day watching movies. Yesterday I finally saw The Longest Yard, and today I watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and The Skeleton Key.

I like the Sisterhood best. Currently loving this song, from the soundtrack of the movie.
Black Roses Red by Alana Grace

Can I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed.
As twisted as it seems,
I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let in the morning light and let the darkness fade away

Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?

Drowning in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much emptiness inside,
I could fill the deepest sea.
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gone
It's time to let your love rain down on me

Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love
I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love

pro·cras·ti·nate

v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates

v. intr.
To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.
v. tr.
To postpone or delay needlessly

To procrastinate, I must stop.
I really don't know what I'm doing these days. I think I'm sort of waiting.. for what, I haven't decided yet.
For sure, I fear that people around me are going to ask what I am up to, because honestly, I have no answer to that, and to conjure a lie is out of the question as I'm a pathetic liar.

Anyways! Added a new link over there! If anyone's curious, Aisyah; an Aries, was my school mate in SAAS and right now studying in the UK. Wasn't really close in-touch in these past years (you know me) but I have to give her credit for introducing me to the odd world of HTML. hehe! Miss Aisyah, thank you!! She practically did my first ever website for me - it was probably when we're in Form 2? Form 3?? She was FAB!!
And there's another thing I remember about her. It was.. most probably her first day at school (she had just moved into town) and the entire class had to pair up for this one English exercise. We got each other and received the only perfect score for the exercise! We were FAB!! ekkeke!

See, I don't get why American teenagers are so upset with their high school experience. I adore my time in high school!!

Believe it or not, I'm actually trying not to update this blog until I have something really smart and witty to say, but as usual - I fail miserably.
I ought to get a kick in the arse and quit procrastinating from buying my freakin' Pilot G-1 0.5 ink sticks!

I'm not in love.

Next month's Astro Guide came around yesterday, and I'm just so excited that there'll be new episodes of Girls In Love on Nickelodeon! woohoo! Just wish they have new ones of Danny Phantom as well. I don't mind reruns, but watching them over four times is just too much.

I'm still not over Sky High. Today I found out that there might be a sequel or even a TV series on Disney Channel! weehee! Sounds great!! Already looking forward to this.
I'm mostly looking forward to upcoming books and movies lately!
There's going to be Just My Luck, Da Vinci Code and X-Men 3 in 2006!! And Cecelia Ahern and Dan Brown has a new book coming out! Especially looking forward to Mr. Brown's The Solomon Key - yet another Robert Langdon's adventure! *shrieking* Can't WAIT, CAN'T WAIITT!!!! Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code must be the most intriguing books I've ever read. It's fantastic!! I hope Tom Hanks will do justice to his character in the movie cause Robert Langdon.. is AWESOME!
I had only wanted to go to the Louvre because of him.**

**Robert Langdon is in fact, a fictional character, a Professor of Religious Symbology at Harvard University. Very intellectual and dashing. Unmarried for some unknown reason.
I think Dan Brown created a really amazing character in Robert Langdon.

Humm.. I keep wishing to have an intellectually challenging topic to type about, but obviously it's not being granted. I really ought to stop talking about measly things, eh? But then again, this is my blog.

Ohh, I received a Raya card yesterday. Unsurprisingly it was from my... well, not exactly a "friend", is he? He's like a.. a loyal.. a really loyal, and consistent, and most probably persistent acquaintance I've ever met in my entire life.
I just find it sad that as much as "persistence" should be admired, I find myself obligated to challenge it and.. pretty much pulverize it. Isn't it odd? Maybe I'm a modern day of the devil.

Or there is that slight possibility, that I only make myself available to the unattainable men - like Danny!
AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!
Or I'm just addicted to a tragic love story, cause I'm loving the whole idea of Buffy and Spike. (okay, lame example, but I love Spike anyways!) Actually I can't decide which I love more; Buffy with Spike or Buffy with Angel. I used to love the idea of Buffy and Angel, but now when there's Spike.. he's like.. so.. endearing. And... old.
Oh no!! I think I AM attracted to people who are way too young or way too old than me!!

I'm rambling.
Shutting up now.

Heigh-ho

'Egocentric', 'ENFP', 'SCUEI'.
Yeah, saying it that way doesn't make any sense but if you bother enough to look it up, you'll find that it practically makes up my entire personality trait. Mostly sounds pretty bad, but I happen to like myself just fine so it'll be hard to find those bad ones changing anytime soon. heh.

I'm starting to think that I'm actually full of myself.

I was looking through the blogs I have in my Favourites, and find that they don't seem to update their blogs as much I do. So why is that?
I'd like to think that I have more thoughts than they do, but we all know how that would be a complete lie. I have a really really average brainpower, and wisdom is something I haven't yet acquire. So, why?

By the way, this song actually sounds better than what we hear from Tru Calling. At least that's what I thought! The song actually sounds very much alike Evanescence, and me like - lots! Though, the lyrics pretty much looks like Bring Me To Life, yeah?

Somebody Help Me by Full Blown Rose

I'm being haunted by a whisper
A chill comes over me
I've been trapped inside this moment
I'm not a victim, I'm not a freak

Free me
before I slip away
Heal me
wake me from this day
Can somebody help me?

I've seen the face of my affliction
of my reality
I'm being tortured by the future
of things that are yet to be
I'm being haunted by a vision
it's like the morning never comes
I feel the burden of confusion
always searching... on the run

Free me
before I slip away
Heal me
wake me from this day
Can somebody help me?
Somebody help me

Now, I'm not a hero... no
but the weight of the world's on my soul
these imagines burn my eyes
they're burning me up inside

Free me
before I slip away
Heal me
wake me from this day
Can somebody help me?

Pardon the idiotic entry. I've been horribly uninspired these last few months.

Azraai, you're so HOT!!

ahhahahahahahahahha!!!
A real update coming later.. when I've calmed myself. Seeing a picture like this, it'd be hard.. but eventually I'll calm myself. ekekkeke!!
Sorry Azraai, I promised but it's too tempting!!

"Throw away your books,"

"-you've got nothing to lose but your grades!"

Don't think I'll ever get tired of watching Tuesdays With Morrie. It's odd that I love the story so much, and yet I haven't bought a copy of the book. Maybe soon. Hopefully soon.

Having a rough night. Some.. health problems are seemingly to creep up on me.
Hate it when this happens!

Putting that one aside, feels like I'm actually having too much thoughts again but as I try to type it out they don't seem to form in words. Annoying, this is.
I may need to force myself to go out tomorrow to get the refill for my pen. Getting 5 refills at one go might not be a bad idea. I think I used up two of those Pilot pen sticks in one month and a half; and I don't think I put them to good use.

All I have is a voice
To undo the unfolded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky :
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone ;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police ;
We must love one another or die.
- September 1, 1939; WH Auden

ENFP "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

My new favourite song!

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get Want by The Smiths

Good times for a change
See, the luck I’ve had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven’t had a dream in a long time
See, the life I’ve had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

Gotta love this simplistic, beautiful song. *sigh* And even play-able on the guitar! (of course, I usually suck - but at least I recognise most of the chords in this song!) First heard this on Sky High (mind,) and I just fell in love with it.
Suppose I can say that I mostly love listening to British-written songs.

Humm.. Kinda settles my theory that British men and women are better writers! (eg: JRR Tolkien, Joanne Rowling, Alexander Pope, Shakespear) - or is it just my personal preference, that I just happen to read mostly British written works?

Crap! Looked through Wikipedia (my favourite site currently - such a geek, I am) and found people my age who has accomplished so much more than I have. This sucks.
Well.. I suck!

Depressed...

I ran out of ink and now I've forgotten if I had any extra refills left around somewhere or I've actually used those.
*sigh*

Ohh, the neat line Warren had said; "To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart" - "And your lucky numbers are 4, 16, 5, and 49."
And now Muz is falling in love with him. Haha!

I suppose now it's time for me to shower.

Finally...

Went break-fast with Muz.
Met up with her in Mid Valley and couldn't decide what we wanted to eat, so instead we went to get a couple of movie tickets!

I suppose it was a bit of a guilty pleasure that we both share; seeing a silly kiddish movie like Sky High. hihi! But we enjoyed it a lot!! Me and Muz were trying hard to quote this line Warren said to Layla in the chinese restaurant, but we can never seem to. grr. Gotta find that line!
I think the movie would keep me smiling for this next couple of days. hehe! Me like, lots!

Other than that, I have nothing much to say.
Ohh! I did talked to Nina earlier. Surprisingly, the thing she had to say to me was not really upsetting as I had expected.
Ooh~ and I told Muz about the thing that had upset me two nights ago, and she didn't think it was too silly of me for being upset! yeay~! Well, not exactly something to cheer about, but it felt great to be told that it's okay to be upset about.. it.

Okie! That's about it!
Have to get back to replying an email from Hanis!
Good night, world!

Wish I wasn't insomniac.

As always, I am left alone in a darkened home where everyone's sound asleep.
Maybe I should get something that can help me sleep - but NO pills. I don't trust myself with pills, or sharp things, or anything big and heavy.

So bored right now, so I'm looking around a dream interpretation site to make a little sense of the dream I had last week.
The dream was scary and silly at the same time. Maybe I shouldn't say anything about it, but I'm going to because maybe talking about it may lessen the scariness of it all.
The dream: I was in a beautiful, huge castle, and I went up the stairs and came to a weird sort of room 'coz everyone there was in their beds and looked sick. To make things short, those people then floated above their beds and the wind was blowing hard and I jogged up on someone by saying; "eh, Mr Satan, does that mean I can leave?"
*sigh* Who am I kidding. The dream is still scary to think about! Even the site I'm in isn't saying anything about satan or devils. bluerrghh. I shall not reveal the ending to that dream, it's even scarier.

See! I ought to be sleeping rather than scaring myself this way!!!

Peachy.

No longer hysterical, no.
There's a lot more people in the world who has real things to be upset about, and I shouldn't be allowed to fuss.

Been a while since I last post a depressed entry, yeah?

I came up with a question for the world while I was eating junk food today.
I had to wonder if everyone has had that one day when all things came so clear to them. As if for one day, everything seems to be telling you something. Your destiny, if you'd like to call it that. (But I think destiny is so much of a mumbo jumbo to believe in.)

I might be delirious from too much sugar, but for what ever reason, I feel it in my gut that I should be someplace else.
And I'm not saying that I don't belong here, 'coz I belong just fine, but there's definitely another place I have to be..

I missed my old life today, but it didn't cross my mind that I'd be better off by still living in that life. It feels like I'm on the other side of a window display, on the outside looking in.
Except that it was a display of iguanas on sale, and I have no intention to buy them, let alone keep.

I'm rambling.
Shutting up now.
Selamat berbuka puase!

..and al-Fatihah to the Prime Minister's wife.

Talk about a downer..

Must be losing half my mind. I'm fussing over something that's happened two months ago, halfway across the world.
Man, I hate it when this happens - stupid little things that upsets me so much. *arrghhh!!* Stupid hag!

breathe in - breathe out

Got bored again, did this thing about my relationship *potential* and how I am with other people. Should be amusing if I hadn't read it after I found out about that thing I'm fussing over.

-----
Your emotional needs were not met when you were growing up and there was nothing you could do about it. Even today, you tend not to express anger or pain or resentment except when you are in an infrequent rage. This is a problem in close relationships.
(I think everything was fine while I was growing up! Don't know what it's playing at.)

You are assertive without being overly aggressive and usually go after what you want with confidence and enthusiasm. Your partners tend to be dynamic, successful people. Your natural energy and moxie is usually sexually interesting to others.
(Moxie:
1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.
2. Aggressive energy; initiative.
3. Skill; know-how.
Right.. whatever.)

While you may not be emotionally demonstrative or sentimental, you love deeply, lastingly and loyally. You may be strongly drawn to people either much older or much younger than you are. Love, for you, has always entailed an enormous amount of responsibility.
(Is there really anything to say about this other than just laugh out loud??)

Your sense of humor is one of your outstanding qualities. It usually manifests as a rather wry wit. Anyone you're close to must share this sense of irony. You probably have a special talent or an absorbing interest. Your closest ties are likewise involved.
(funny word to use.. "absorb" - and a couple of days ago I got Rogue. *sigh*)
-----

Hummph.
Maybe I am supposed to stop wanting anything too much, gets me so tired out. She Falls Asleep sounds pretty perfect right now.

I'm losing my heart.

kawaii desu.

Brightly Wound by Eisley

It's happening all the time
When I open my eyes
I'm still taken by surprise
I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies
And it makes me want to cry
I love you...

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

[I am just wishing you were here]
We were walking there
And I had tangles in my hair
[So we could walk down to the stream]
But you make me feel so pretty
[And we would throw all our leaves in]
You have shining eyes just like the forest lights
[Seeing our dragons when we look up]
And it makes me want to cry
I love you...

I shall never grow up
Make believe is much too fun
Can we go far away to the humming meadow?

This place is so lovely
The kind that makes me very happy
Let's go far away to the humming meadow..

Cute song!

Anyways, for many weeks I've been without, today I picked up again my guitar and try playing some new songs and man, how lousy was I! My fingers were sloppy around the string and now they're sore. (REMINDER TO SELF: never ever put away the guitar too long!)

ooh~ and I found Peyton's site with all her artworks! Well, Dida found it then she told me about it!

ohh! And I managed to download McFly's version of The Killers' original, Mr Brightside, and I have to beg you NOT to listen to it!! ahhahaha!
How I hated it. Well, of course I still listen to it, but I prefer the original. Don't know what the boys were thinking. *sigh*

Streamyx!!

That's right, party people! (hah!)
I am now with Streamyx!!

So the first thing I did - watch some stream video of McFLY, of course!! ahhahaha!!
Well, I wish I could download them, but my Ares doesn't seem to be working somehow. Gotta wait when Dida gets her laptop back from Jimmy. (her collegue who had to borrow her laptop for some work.)
Surprisingly though, my computer didn't get too troublesome to turn on as it usually does. *sigh* It's times like this when I just had to love it's existence.

Nina left me a new testimonial on my Friendster today and I can't help feeling a bit sad over it. I know the message didn't imply in any way to make me feel the way that I feel, but I just feel this way.
And she said she have some psychological findings that she wants to share with me. yikes! The last time that happened...
Well, the last time that happened, had made me so upset that now I rather not listen to her thoughts. *sigh*
Mostly I'm scared that what she has to say is going to be something that I can't deny.

Anyways! Currently listening to Eisley (thanks Shahnon!) and they kinda remind me of Sixpence. Me like! Just that I'm still crazy over McFLY to be enjoying their music as much as I could. hehe!

Okay, now listening to McFLY's Too Close For Comfort, which must be my favourite track in the album, so I shall repeat this song until I'm so sick of it that I'll come near to barfing - which I usually does with practically everything in my life; music, food, people, etc.
(By the way, that's a Megaupload link I have there, if you'd like to listen to the song yourself.)

Humm.. only 2.84 gigs left of my space.
Good God, I need to re-format my computer!

Supposedly sleeping.

Not exactly.
Supposedly be having my sahur but this song sounds so cute and I just had to tell about it first.

The Ballad Of Paul K by McFLY

He´s drinking cold Corona
Feels like he's getting older
Now and noticing how he's finding
Grey hairs left in the shower
Tattoos fade by the hour
And he can't understand these feelings
Why life is getting him down
He used to smile now he frowns
And cries inside
It's been this way for a while
And he can't seem to put things right

When life has been unkind
And you're losing your mind
Look in the mirror afraid of what you'll find
It feels like time's not on your side

He doesn't like to mention
Applying for his pension
So his children don't know he's heading
Into a mid-life crisis
He can't afford the prices for
The new kitchen floor he's buying
He's been a drunk of his life
Two kids, a dog and a wife
He doesn´t know
And in the daytime he just sits and watches television shows

When life has been unkind
And you're losing your mind
Look in the mirror afraid of what you'll find
It feels like time's not on your side

Don't know why but somehow
The ones you love you hate now,
you feel down and blue
Look at what you've thrown away
They stood beside you all the way
Now it's too late, it's too late for you

When life has been unkind
And you're losing your mind
Look in the mirror afraid of what you'll find
It feels like time's not on your side

And here's what the boys had to say about the song;
Tom: This song’s inspired, musically, by Supertramp’s ‘Give A Little Bit’, and it’s about our dads. Dads in general, really – but that specific point in their life when they go through a mid-life crisis, with his life falling down and he doesn’t have a clue what to do with himself. I’m not really looking forward to getting properly old.
Danny: From my point of view it’s a song about realising exactly how much your parents keep from you when things are tough, and when they’ve run out of money. There’s a line about struggling to pay for a new kitchen floor – which I can directly relate to. Obviously Harry’s family could afford as many kitchen floors as they wanted.
Harry: And they were heated.
Dougie: Paul K is a weirdo who went to my school – this Greek guy who never spoke and thought he was a dinosaur. Just one of those really, really weird guys. Of course the weirdest thing is that this song isn’t even about him..

Another song I did't fail to love.

Today, I'm a happy girl.

1. I'll Be OK
2. I've Got You
3. Ultraviolet
4. Ballad Of Paul K
5. I Wanna Hold You
6. Too Close For Comfort
7. All About You
8. She Falls Asleep (part 1)
9. She Falls Asleep (part 2)
10. Don't Know Why
11. Nothing
12. Memory Lane


Downloaded their full album!!
All thanks to Dida and her talent in the right Google-ing method and patience. She had really mastered the art of patience.
Yeayyy!! So SOO happy!! I no longer feel guilty for being a crappy fan. hihi.

I'm loving She Falls Asleep; Tom is such a good writer!
And they've revised Memory Lane! ooh~ I love this boys!
Okay, I shall go to sleep feeling all pleased now.
Goodnight world!!

Loving this:

I Wanna Hold You by McFLY

Tell me that you want me baby,
Tell me that its true,
Say the magic words and I'd destroy the world for you.

An army for the broken hearted,
Marching through the streets,
And every city's burning to the ground under your feet.

I wanna hold you,
My skies are turning black,
[Feels like a heart attack]
And I'd do anything you ask,
I wanna hold you bad.

I'd melt the polar icecaps baby,
Watch them flood the earth,
And I'd do anything to show you what your love is worth.

So won't you show me your devotion,
Heal my aching heart,
It's like a neutron bomb explosion,
Tearing me apart!

I wanna hold you,
My skies are turning black,
[Feels like a heart attack]
And I'd do anything you ask,
I wanna hold you bad.

Attention please
We interrupt this program
With some disturbing news
Worldwide evacuation
We're going to lose
They've pulverised the nation
I guess it shows us just what love can do

I wanna hold you,
My skies are turning black,
[Feels like a heart attack]
And I'd do anything you ask,
I wanna hold you bad.
Bad Bad
I'd do anything you ask
I wanna hold you bad

Odd that they have two version of this song.
I like both, anyways.

So I've been spending the night doing several silly quizzes on X-Men and I got various characters from Sabretooth to Wolverine and Rogue - obviously I have some temper issues. *sigh*

You scored as Rogue. Rogue is a strong but tragic personality. She loves Gambit. Because of her mutant powers, she cannot touch anyone without hurting them. Therefore, she longs for human contact. However, this southern gal's strong personality has allowed her to deal with this. Powers: Absorbs lifeforce and powers by touch, Super strength, and flight Rogue 80% Jean Grey 75% Iceman 60% Cyclops 60% Gambit 60% Emma Frost 55% Wolverine 55% Nightcrawler 50% Storm 50% Beast 45% Colossus 40% Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

I made a Quiz for you!

Take my Quiz!

I was bored.

Close to tears.

I may seem a bit unstable and a tad over-dramatic with this one;

but I've finally listen to some snippets of McFLY's new album!!!!!!!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!!!

Dida's modem is fixed so now we're both taking real advantage over it.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!
I can't wait 'til this whole lot finish downloading!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!!!!
CAN'T WAIT! CAN'T WAAAAIIITTTTT!!!

Wonderful, Wonderland!

kenyang!!

Nina and family came over for a visit and shop around KL today, and then Dida treat us with an awesome break-fast.

Well, she spent almost RM300 tonight. (6 adults, 2 kiddies!)

Thank you Didaaa~!!

The kiddies are so cuuuuuuute!!
And Izzati can't say my name properly, she calls me Ci'cumi when it should be Cik Wanie. Is it really hard to pronounce??
Maybe to a two year old, eh?

bwahahhahhahhahh!!

(That was my impression of a laughter exploded.)

I asked my father if British people are genetically built sarcastic,
he said; "not necessarily," and added that his daughters are sarcastic,
"-especially Nina."

ekkekekke!!

He wasn't wrong and I told him that. hihi!

I only laughed because we - the entire family - rarely have anything bad to say about her (you should notice the lack of her name in this blog!) because even when she's the most sarcastic, she still has the best PR with all of us. Always the calm middle-man. Odd. Highly amusing, though. People like her makes people like me look really bad. (Good thing I never really care about how I look! ekkeke!)

Well, no point of trying too hard. It's been made, Nina is the diplomatic conversationalist while Dida the neat hardworker.
And I'm.. I'm a work in progress.

Did you notice that I talk and compare myself a lot to my sisters? I just notice this and now trying to figure out what does it tell about me. Insecure? Envious? Inspired?
Humm.. entahlah..