DELIRIOUS!!

Cheers!!

heeheeheee. I know, I knoww.. I don't even have a single drop of English blood in my body but man I'm PROUD! I honestly feel that this is the best England team that I have yet seen. I am purely... in delirium. (Yes, I also know that we didn't exactly win..)

Beckham simply proved that he belongs in the team. (again.. IN YOUR FACE, McCLAREN!! What was he thinking when he listed out Beckham anyway!) Indispensible. Irreplaceable. I loved the reference the commentator had made; how the old captain giving the ball to the current captain. Pure brilliance as Terry scored the goal.

Of course, this was only a friendly game, but you can't blame me for really.. really looking at the performances.
Gerrard was also.. brilliant! Is it just me.. or he did seem a bit more fiesty? hahha! Well, he's still an awesome footballer even though he spits a lot. AHHAHAHA!! (I still find things amusing even after that silly Brazillian goal, apparently.)
Smudge was a bit sleepy though. Not literally-sleepy, but he didn't do much which disappoints me a bit. Especially when he got benched.. sigh. But then again, half the team was substituted after the hour mark. Cole, Owen, Terry, Beckham.. which I believe is the reason why Brazil got that goal anyway.

I just wish...... nevermind..

I'm excited. Looking forward to Thursday's Euro Qualifier match.
Okay, now I can have my rest. I was sleepy a minute ago but I just couldn't (or wouldn't) sleep until I get all these out. Typically me.
Have a good weekend, everyone!

me - need - rest!

I am.. looking forward to a good sleep---
after tonight's football match, of course.

Had another busy day today.
I met up with Dayat in Midvalley (yawn) for lunch and a chat. So that's a whole afternoon spent. It's almost shocking that the last time I saw her was last year!! hahhaha! We are such good friends. heehee. I think that's my pattern in friends. We rarely miss each other but when we're needed, we'll be there. Right? *looks around expecting approval from those friends*
Afterwards I took the commuter (curses!) for a rendezvous with Bahijah, Ana, Ilsa and his brother Ilmi to catch Shrek 3! JK was evil! ahhahaha! ("Support The Office's casts", CHECK for two!) We had supper afterwards.Quite a short entry. Just couldn't bring myself to elaborate more.
Ohh, I bought myself a book today. It wasn't on my "to read" list but I just couldn't help myself; I'm geeky like that.

"A feeling, for which I have no name, has taken possession of my soul - a sensation which will admit of no analysis, to which the lessons of bygone time are inadequate, and for which I fear futurity itself will offer me no key. To a mind constituted like my own, the latter consideration is an evil. I shall never - I know that I shall never - be satisfied with regard to the nature of my conceptions. Yet it is not wonderful that these conceptions are indefinite, since they have their origin in sources so utterly novel.
A new sense - a new entity is added to my soul."

--Edgar Allan Poe, MS. Found in a Bottle

Under The Influence.

Quite right, man.

Today is Picnic Day!! hahhaha! Really excited.
Of course.. I will need a bit of sleep before morning.
-------


I'm pooped!
The day was great! A day very well spent, I'd say! I headed out in the wee morning and met up with the girls around 8am. We ate.. not as much as we've brought along unfortunately! But it's only our first time so -- lesson learnt! Also.. note to self; next time, someone should bring some insect repellent! ahahhaha!

We had quite the spread.. mac and cheese, nuggets, salad, punch! also.. some serious junkfood that we can't seem to touch. ahhahaha! Talk about enthusiastic!
We took dozens of photos, ran around, jumped about.. and left our spot at 2!! (Only because the rain had seemed to start to fall-- but cancelled itself as we got into the car! Sneaky.)

Then we drove off to Midvalley where we sat and talked at Coffee Bean for THREE (possibly four) hours! Now when I try to remember it.. how is it possible for a small group of people to sit and talk for a straight 11 hours is beyond me! ahhahahaha!
Anyway, as I was trying to distract myself from sleeping on the train back home (I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before), I typically drew stuff on my hand.. and the lady next to me asked, "are you an architect?" ahhahaha!! Of course, I didn't laugh at her face, but you've got to admit, it was kind of funny. I told her that it's just some doodling. She said that even though it's a doodle, it looked good -- and even suggested that I could make money from drawing mehndis! (insert another laugh here.)
Okay, I'm sort of freaking out now.. I just took off my watch..... AHHAHAHA!!

Just so you know..

Words.. (or the lack of it) are severely judged by me.
I can't help it, but I am extremely judgemental towards people who ticks me the wrong way on their first impression.

Also, the improper use of "love" will be punished. All tact will be thrown out of the window.. there will be no holding back of my sarcasm.

For instance, I just received a Friendster message from this guy whom had only wrote me once before. (And asked for my number, the nerve of him!) The second time he wrote me, although he was sorry for asking my number.. the text was full of grammatical errors, typos AND my name misspelled! (Ooh, I just can't have that!) Furthermore, he ended the message with luv.
HAHH!!
So here's how I wrote him back;

ahahahha!
luv? do u write that to everyone u just got to know, or it just don't mean anything to u so u write it as often as u can?
just wondering.

sigh. See.. I wasn't supposed to miss the thing that I missed last night. Now I'm just plain pissy.

I am sensing...

Multiple posts for today!

I was sorting through some photos.. and this one never fails to crack me up. heehee.
Oh, about United not coming to Malaysia.. I'm kinda glad actually! I happen to have a previous engagement on that July date and I would be extremely upset if I had to choose. (Not that I can..) I am just at peace that they decided not to come.. THANK YOUU! hahahha!

And! I am completely and utterly ELATED that Beckham's back on the England team! yeayyyy!!

edited on 8:49 AM, May 30th 2007.

aaaa.. geraamm!

No faaair! I've waited and waited and right at the moment when I took my eyes off the prize.. I've missed it!! urrghh! What dumb luck.
And I can't even talk about it without some stupid metaphors because it's too silly to divulge about anyway! Damn my vanity!! arrghhhh!!!
geramnye geramnyeee! benci benci benci!

On a different note but similarly dissatisfying, I really do prefer Chilli's restaurant in Midvalley than the one in OU! They're just not very keen there. pshh! Lesson learnt.

Stopping now.
I'm simply too edgy to write anything else.

Thank you James.

I can't usually write when I listen to music. My mind would go clouded and crowded even more with the presence of music, unfortunately. Silence won't do good to me either as my ears would do their best to find any slight noise around the house -- which is worse since I am the curious cat with a vast imagination. (NOT a good combo, trust me.)

But I'm writing again now.. and still listening to James Morrison. Brilliant album, that one!
Okay, new goal: finish by my next birthday. I think I can do it. Do you think I can do it?
Please help me God.


James Morrison - This Boy
The older I get, the more that I know..
So anyway, having a bit of break right now so I decided to try out the new scanner -- LOVE IT! Just updated my Fotopage. Not as much as I would've liked but I couldn't find the rest of my b/w prints. Maybe I'll try and find them tomorrow. (Oh wait, I probably should reformat my computer first..)
Have a good day, people!

Be still my heart..

Damn boy, look at what you made me do!
This could very well be the sugar but my heart is about to burst.

It is as silly as a confession could go but for the first time ever, I felt like I should be running towards something (than the usual from something) --and keep running for the mere hope of captivating you.

ahahhahaha!!
I'm embarrassed now. I'm stopping now.
God, I can't believe I'm grinning at this.
I'll probably laugh my ass off about this next year.

By the way, did you know that even though I've had this layout for months, I've actually made several changes to it?
And yes, I've just put up James Morrison right there but NO, I am not talking about him in the first part of this entry. ekekkekeke! No.. no. *runs off still embarrassed, still giggling - and gushing*

Stoked.

That was one heck of a long day!

Dida and I went to Low Yatt earlier today. I don't know why but she called me around 10 from her office and suddenly talked about upgrading her laptop.. She had wanted a working Bluetooth for what ever reason..

So she picked me up right after her work and to KL we went. (Baaaad traffic!)
Dida got her Bluetooth now -- and an 80gig external hard disc.. a new headphone.. the RAM upgraded and an all-in-one printer! hahhaha! Also.. she got me a 1gig memory stick for my phone which is absolutely BRILLIANT for me and her as well; I no longer have any reason to pester her for an iPod! AHHAHAHAHA!
Dank u wel ne oneechan! Hontoni! hihihihi.
I can't stop grinning. I mean, come on! Imagine the difference from just 64meg to 1gig! AHAHHAHAHA!! (I am.. quite delirious.)

We got home around 8 and got a quick shower/change and headed back out to pick up Hannah and Ariff to catch Pirates of the Caribbean : At World's End. Eh.. what do I think about it?
Hmm.. probably you won't hear this a lot but I wasn't too keen with the whole thing. For one, it was too long, too slow and quite predictable. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.. probably I have this sixth-sense when it comes to tragic endings. I swear I'd thought of it by the end of the second film.. not exactly how it came together, but to the same result, yes.
Pshh! Yet it still bugs me. Can't stop thinking about it somehow.

We got home around 4. hahha!
I'm bored just reporting all this now.

Sing to me that song again.

Statistically, I have a higher risk of commiting suicide. Of course I'm only writing this for a bit of dramatic effect but it is really, the harsh truth.

1. I am a cynic and cynics tend to engage in more self-destructive behaviour. Research shown that we smoke and drink more and are -- likely to commit suicide. Brilliant, eh?
2. As I wrote some time ago, writers are four times more likely to suffer from manic depression -- and we all know where that leads to, right? Apparently, the "same qualities that make us writers, tend to make us more sensitive to the ups and downs of daily life."
And then as I was doing a bit more reading, I found this. It's a list of writers who offed themselves in history. (Virginia Woolf's suicide letter.. was.. moving.) Who would've thought that adobting to write could be so dangerous. Excellent! I'm a bad-ass! ahhahaha!

Sometimes I worry that I talk too much about death. Sometimes I feel like I am dying because I talk about it so much -- maybe subconciously I am telling myself that the end is near.
I do realize that talking about death, or suicide especially is not normal behaviour. Even more if you've started talking about it since you were 14. The worst thing, you kept feeling surprised that you've made to another year of your birthday. Sometimes I figured that it's my sick twisted way of appreciating life -- which I hope is the answer to all this.

Because if I am really in trouble and mentally unbalanced, I wouldn't know how to ask for help. Because I think it's petty to tell anyone that you're worried that you've thought about death when the solution is as simple as;
STOP thinking about it, you knucklehead!


One Last Chance by James Morrison
Aaah.. man. I need to get myself on the track.

I am officially in love--

with James Morrison!! hahhahaha!
Bet you wish I'd say a name of a real person, huh? hahha!
Well, I'm really in love with his songs. To think that he's my age.. and writes really insightful lyrics.. and, not shabby either! The only downside that I could think of.. he's a Cancer; (no offence! It's just a thing) which is probably the main reason why he could write awesome lyrics in the first place. ahhahahaha!! Man..

Anyway! Let's discuss about something that is more at hand right now..
Kaka -- or Gerrard? ahhahaha!! Kaka.. married. So is Gerrard.. well, almost! Getting married anyway. Kaka, Brazilian.. Gerrard, British - and I'm just biased. So that's about it really. ahahhaha! That's how I choose my team for tonight's match anyway. (Plus the fact that Milan had creamed United! ahhaha!) Let's just say that I prefer Liverpool for tonight -- mostly because it's an English team, even though I know it's very possible that they'll lose. (come on! We're talking about AC Milan here..)
See, I'm rational. But it's okay. They can't hurt me as much as United did. (sigh.) Basically.. I don't really care. But it's a bit disappointing to see that Reina is a little off tonight. O well..

Moving on.. I got duped today -- although, admitting it would mean that I was stupid/trusting enough to believe that there are such things as too good to be true, to be true. (dizzy much?) So, I wasn't duped. It was a friggin' unfortunate event that had led me to meet up with dear Bahijah instead! (see.. it's not so hard to twist a story so it'd focus on the better things in life!)

We just hung out at that place in BB she had mentioned in my shoutbox last week. Talking.. catching up. Somehow we keep finding things to catch up on. haha!
Loved the chat, Cik Bahijah! You're AWESOME! Remember our pact, yah! Even if fate decides that we should have another fallout. huhuu. Harapnye if that happens, we'll find our way back again! ecceeeh!
We were there for hours! Even Ilsa joined us and around midnight we made our way to Hartamas. Ilsa (and friends) had planned to watch the Champions League final there.
It was.. amusing. Like some sort of a party over there. Looaaads of people! I would love to stay and watch the football with the crowd but both me and Bahijah had promised our moms to be back by 2am. (yeah.. right. But we tried!)

Now I'm home, glancing at the telly every now and then 'cause I can't help myself for the love of the game.

--And I really do.

Really really like James Morrison's album!
Really really my kind of music.. in more ways than one.

My sister and I went to see Blades Of Glory last night. Really enjoyed it! It was really funny, and not just the spastic-jokes kind of way. The word-plays were also hilarious.
So.. "Support The Office's casts", CHECK for one!

When we got home, I had a nice time with Dida and Mama laughing like crazy women past midnight. (Papa was already asleep.) We were actually tumbling the things around the house to look for the things that Dida and I had lost, (ie. bras, belts, keys..) and probably it was the endorphins.. Got us to a good mood in the midst of the frustration somehow.


You're a Sad!
The Mood Swings Test
Brought to you by Tickle
Don't I know it? heh.
'Cause even when I still laugh remembering about the comics in the movie last night, I still feel a dark cloud hovering inside. geez.
If only my own head isn't too complicated.. (Then I wouldn't be me, yeah?)

Listening to 04 over and over.

sigh.

Wonderful World by James Morrison

Well I thought that I was doing well---
And you doubt me for having any reason to love the Brits.. sheesh!

Can you see the smoke coming out of my ears?

(I sound like a Fallout Boy song title.)

Damn, we lost.
That was one of the most boring.. annoying.. frustrating.. disappointing games I've ever witnessed.
Damn, I hate that I care so much. Stupid. Stupid. arrghh!
Eff it!!

Happy thoughts.. happy thoughts..
MUST - THINK - HAPPY - THOUGHTS.
I swear, my ears are ringing from the heat that is building up.
Also.. must - remember - to - breathe.
It just SUCKS that the linesmen didn't see Giggs' goal. Damn frustrating! Okay, they were playing pretty lousy the entire night but even I felt put off when their goal wasn't called. NO DAMN FAIR!! *grunts*

I should try harder thinking about happy thoughts..

The upside to this whole thing.
The moment Alan Smith came in to the pitch, Dida said, "Wanie look, your friend is coming in," AHHAHAHAHA!! I swear.. that was the highlight of my night. heehee.

Oh, in case I ever need the reference, Mila became the first female winner of Akademi Fantasia. Finally, a girl -- not that I care. Dida's the one who kept changing the channels.

I should probably watch The Office again now.
I feel the dire need to grin and giggle.
Try harder next year, United-honey! I still love you. (Unfortunately. hahha!)

Squueeeeeeee!!!

I'm in a better mood.
I'm definitely in a better mood.
I can cry because I'm in such a better mood!
I won't curse, not depressed in any manner, not angry, not upset.. I am definitely.. up there. Waaay up! ahahhahah!!



I finally saw the season finale for The Office.
Go figure!!

Honey, I want you..

aaaa!! You know how yesterday I was hoping that I'll be well sustained until fall from the season finales of my favourite shows?? eeeeeeeeek!! I didn't get it from CSI:NY!! aarghhh! How frustrating! It was an intense episode, not a bad one at all, but.. but.. I want more M&Ms!! (that's forum-talk by the way. I'm in no mood to explain what it meant, I'm afraid.)
I've been getting my shows late this week, which is making me rather testy. They're more-than-a-day late and it's making me anxious, laced with anger towards the damn connection! Oh- my nerves..

I was flipping through my writing book the other day ('cause I couldn't write these days, so that's all I do.. flip through my Moleskine) and realized of all the storylines I've created, there is a certain characteristic that keeps repeating on my main character. hmm..
I have a feeling that people wouldn't know I have such a sad soul until they read my work.

I have some ideas about my psychological bursts. (Yes, that's what I'm calling it now. Don't I sound like a shrink? I'm giving terms to my own episodes! ahhahah!!)
Reading the report to my brain test yesterday made me think that instead of having a heart and a brain at their right places.. I think I have mine at opposites. I have a heart in my brain and a brain in the heart -- which is the closest conclusion that made sense to me!
ahhahaha! Don't I sound even more crazy now?

Anyway, I just spent the last couple of hours trying to sell myself with my oh-so-awesome writing. Then, 10 minutes ago, as I was confidently writing why I was meant to write, it hit me. IT. I mean, all this years I was thinking that I am a good writer, having people telling me that I am..
Were they saying it just because I write a lot, or am I really.. a good writer??

Oh God.
Shit.
Not again...

Ho-keyy..

I am going to write this in one possibly long paragraph so you'll have the impression that I am saying this in one go -- okay, not in one breath; several breath, many lines, one go. Starts now-- I had a mildly amusing day, starting last night when I rediscovered the number 14.. reminded how silly I can be when I found a fairly new crush.. brushed up on my pop culture by flipping the tv channel between Rosemary's Baby and the 1990's version of Night Of The Living Dead; which I liked because the zombies were slow and human prevails! There is hope yet for us.. Later I did another quiz on Tickle and found out that I have a "Balanced-brain" without any obvious dominant side; which sounded almost cool for the fact that I can be romantic, rationally. hahha! But it also means that I can be prone to indecisiveness -- which is VERY true. Guess you just CAN'T have everything. (O God, o God please show me otherwise! ahhahahah!) Then I finally got to see this week's Heroes, House and Gilmore Girls. God! Gilmore Girls.. I can't believe it's ended!! Arrghh! Such a good episode but so saaad!! Still can't believe it got canned. Oh, good episode on House as well, but my feelings for Gilmore Girls are obviously over-powering it. Lots of shows' season finale are on this week and next week. Hope they'll be reaaally good to keep me sustained for their break 'til fall. Ooh~ did anyone notice that the weather is still pretty cold in Europe?? 15ºC in Amsterdam! What the heck is that? It's May! It's supposed to be summer! I'm telling you man, global warming is not a myth. It's really happening just you won't see it until you want to see it! In this case, ignorance isn't bliss, my friends. I just hope that there won't be any sudden heat waves like last year. The thought of people dying because of the heat is just too horrible. On a different note, I must say again that I miss Europe. I miss the clothes (H&M!!!), I miss the trams, I miss the languages that I don't understand, I miss being useful; even just a little bit, and I miss hanging out with my sister since she's been out every night this week that I barely see her for two hours collectively. You see, me and both my sisters.. we have a system. We are a system. We rely on each other to vent about our parents. I know.. I know.. that may sound mean to you but that's just how we are. So being stuck here, alone.. again is making me go bonkers! God, this is not exactly a good week!! I'm shutting up now. I DO realize people have lives and they especially don't need to listen to me vent. See! There I go again. I can imagine exactly what Dida and Alia would say to my thoughts right now.. Geez, I need to control this psychological bursts. But right now, I need to pee.

Yeayy for Mayy!

Just love this pic!
Can't wait for Shrek The Third to be released over here. I saw "Opening Night" on Star Movies earlier and it's making me reaaally anxious!

Also.. next week, Pirates Of The Caribbean!
Thank God.. I'm getting bored of that "yo-ho yo-hoo" song. (And Dida's tired of listening to me sing to it. haha!)

Wa-heyy, I'm not dumb!

Things I do on a slow day:

1. Watch the downloaded tv shows/movies one last time before I delete them.

2. Check out new trailers on Apple.

3. Go to GSC Online to check the Malaysian release dates for the movies I'm keen on seeing (from the trailers).
License To Wed - August 2nd
Disturbia - also.. August 2nd. hmm.. John Krasinski or Shia LaBeouf? JK!!! heeheehee.
Knocked Up - August 9th
Bourne Ultimatum - September 27th
Georgia Rule - no idea!

4. IMDB.com -- for what ever reason -- find a reason!
that's how I know about The Eye for yesterday's entry anyway! Almost-mindless surfing, I call it. Just now I found out that they're filming the sequel to National Treasure! yeaayy! Can't wait for that one.
I have to be honest.. I am a sucker for sequels! I'm also looking forward to The Brazillian Job. (and it's not even filmed yet!)

5. Close my eyes and pick one of the books on my "favourite section" of the bookcase.
Sometimes I cheat. I'd pick something out but decided to reread Pride and Prejudice instead.

6. Go to Tickle.com and do quizzes!
On the contrary to popular belief, I am quite capable of logical thinking! Pretty good at it if I have to say so myself! ahahha!
Go get a kick out of The Brainteaser Test

7. YouTube!!!
Sharing could be caring. (On certain circumstances, of course!)

Okay!
Just a general tip.. if you're planning on to go to the bank, go during the middle of the month! You wouldn't have to wait long (or at all!) for your turn. At least this is true in Shah Alam. I went to CIMB and Maybank both yesterday and today -- no waiting at all! Felt a bit isolated somehow, but that's just me.

edited on 2:57 AM, May 17th 2007.

Oh no..

Hollywood is remaking Hong Kong's The Eye, set to be released in October.
Man, can't they just leave other people's films as it is? Why do they have to remake every single thing??

Sure, I'll probably see it anyway since it's quite apparent that I'm an avid movie-goer, plus Jessica Alba is playing the lead role. But the thought that they're remaking yet another Asian horror film is just.. *snore* Find a new idea already!! Geez!

In a way, I am quite anxious to see how it'll turn out. The Eye scared the crap outta me but it stands still.. one of my favourite horror films. (That, and Shutter! Awesome stuff.)
I hope it doesn't turn out like the other remakes. Hollywood's version of The Ring was alright, but The Ring 2.. bluerghh. Also, Ju-On (The Grudge.. and the second one). yeech!
Although.. if there is any chance I could suggest something that could probably use a little Hollywood touch.. Battle Royale!! ahhahaha!! That would be AWESOME!! (Yes, I'm a little dark sometimes.)

Haven't got anything else to share. Of course I did some stuff today but it's hardly worth writing about.
I need to get a move on.

OH - MY - GOD!

Pam!!
Finally!

I'm so excited!
Ecstatic!!

Might be a little too excited over a tv show, apparently.
Ohh yeayy!!

Oh, just in case.. if you don't think the song that I put up a few hours ago was "pure brilliant".. well, I suppose you'd have to imagine yourself being chased by zombies. I know I said Jars Of Clay's Work is my soundtrack for running to catch the train, but In The House - In A Heartbeat is definitely the soundtrack I'd play if ever I get chased by a bunch of zombies. heehee.

From zombies to.. zombies.

In The House - In A Heartbeat
(this song is pure brilliant, I'm telling you!)
Went to see 28 Weeks Later.
Unlike Alia, instead of being scared by the end of the movie, I left the cinema feeling sad -- as always. I know that's unnatural, but I do. Every single time after seeing a film about zombies; be it Resident Evil (one or two.. Number three is coming out soon in September!) or Dawn Of The Dead or Land Of The Dead.. I just feel sad. (An obvious exception to Shaun Of The Dead -- man, I love that one!)
I honestly think that if any of the ones I care turned into a zombie, I'd just let them bite me. Obviously normal-human are too weak to fight them off so let's just join them! Plus, I wouldn't have to beat myself up for having to consider whether I should or shouldn't smack either of my sisters with a hammer in the head.
I know, I know.. I'm romanticizing, I know. I don't think I could ever be logic if I was faced with a decision such as that.

Okay, maybe it'll never happen, but who knows? Scientists are playing around with human DNA and "accidents" happen. So, if God-willing.. that could be one way to end the world!
ahahhaha! Don't I sound morbid.

I'm trying my best not to start another psychotic-burst like yesterday so I think I'll go ahead and yap about movies that I'd recently saw.

The Invincible, starring Mark Wahlberg was very Disney. I said I wanted to see it, so I did. I can't remember what I'd wanted to say right after I saw it but I know I liked it. But then, how can anyone hate a Disney movie? (I saw Robots a few nights ago.. I loved it! Wait.. that's not from Disney! Well, I mean.. you can't possibly hate heart-warming-fuzzy-feeling sort of story, can you?)

"The Era of Procrastination, of Half-Measures, of Soothing and Baffling Expedients, of Delays is coming to it's Close. In it's place we are entering a Period of Concequences."

Churchill said that in 1936 and Al Gore had smartly used it in relation to his presentation in An Unconvenient Truth.
Please watch this one. Everyone should be informed and concerned about Global Warming. Nobody wins from your ignorance.

What else? The Ex. Feel free to avoid this. It's one o'those romantic comedies that annoys you by the weak lead character and the supremely evil 'villain'. Err.. you probably don't know what that means, but it's easy to say that.. it's not that funny, and incredibly predictable. yeech!
Trust The Man was alright. I don't know. There are some parts that made me think but most parts are pretty forgettable.

I'm going to see Thank You For Smoking next. Also London and Perfume but I'm not in any hurry to see them somehow. Maybe I'll bore you again with my thoughts after that.

I *still* think I need help.

Yeah, though I never asked for it.
Have you ever heard me ever asking for anybody's help? I honestly don't get myself most times. Like, I have a couple of journals that could probably explain myself to me but I'm afraid of reading them.

I found out recently that I've blacked out some huge parts of my life.
A few months ago, like any other day I decided to clear up my cupboard, trying to throw out the things that I don't need anymore, (of course, I don't need half of the things in it) but I was held back when I found my journals and decided to sit down and read them.
BIG MISTAKE.
Now I remember how broken my heart was about some things in the past.
And to be truthfully honest, I could think of a couple of people that wouldn't be my friends today if I hadn't forgotten what had happened.

I was that good at blocking out my own memory.
It's amazing how traumatizing those experiences were that I had actually forgotten about it to remember how to laugh again. And now to remember it again.. I'm forgetting how my laugh really sounds again.
Wow. It's like the two can't exist on the same timeline and now.. apparently I am in deep shit.

I still think I need a psychologist. You know, someone who has no idea who I was (or am).. Somebody unbiased. Somebody I have no judgements of.
But the mere idea of starting over, telling this person about my life from the beginning has already sound tiring.. and petty. Do I really need help?? (Don't answer!)

And I hate people offering their help. Sure.. sure.. everybody needs to be helped at some point, I get it. But I still hate it. In the deep psyche of my head, Plato's words keeps ringing; "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle". Shit. Somebody should've told me earlier that reading up too many quotes aren't too good for you. Yeah, I am hardly kind but I kept thinking that I need to sort my own problems.
Asking for help, wanting opinions or even venting.. hasn't been an easy option for me.

There is no way out. I am too critical of my own thoughts. I am best described to be making a living in my own prison where the bars aren't only locked shut; the very hinges, the hole of the lock for the key, from the grills to the floor -- are glued. No way out. I am.. trapped in my own ideas (or lack of it) until the day I would suffocate and finally die, by myself.

Now tell me that all these aren't the words of a twisted.. and most obviously, troubled person. I dare you, go ahead and tell me.
You know what's the most amazing thing about writing this entry?? I have completely forgetten what had ticked me to start writing it this way in the first place. Seriously.

Shit.
I just need inspiration.
Why does it have to be this hard? Why aren't my words flowing freely if I wasn't angry.. melancholic or yacking about things that hardly means anything?
I'd rather be dead than detached.

Let's just say that I'm bored.
So instead of keeping myself quiet, I decided to blog even though I am completely and utterly uninspired.

Then I say that I am thinking of a few songs that probably relates to me. But to honestly admit that would reveal too much of myself and God knows how much I try to avoid that.
So you can believe all you want, but I shall make you wonder by saying that this is merely.. my sayings.

I have been listening to this song** by Good Charlotte because lyrically, it's a bit sad. But it doesn't sound so. But there's also this song** by Doves which sounds perfectly depressing but I don't think I actually understood the lyrics. heh.

And this is the part where I say that I have no idea why I wrote this in the first place when seemingly it has no point what so ever.

** right click and 'save as' if you wish to download the Flash audio file (*.flv)

Cheers to the Champions!

Aaah Mourinho, saying my team is the best team "mathematically" means that your team has been the best team for the last two years.. just mathematically, right?
heehee. Thank you Chelsea for playing unexcitingly with Arsenal (haha!) tonight.
Manchester United is now officially Barclay's Premier League Champions. ahahhahah!!
Was it just me, or Mourinho did look a bit cuckoo earlier.

I think I'm supposed to say more than this but I just don't feel like it.

Glory glory Man United!

I am a closed paperback.

Hello dear friend,
I haven't said much about 'myself' lately, have I?
I guess I am changed. I've become emotionally unavailable somehow.. even more than I usually was.
Ah well.. do you really care to know? Even I don't care about myself at most times.
Pah!

Moving on.. I went to see Spider-man 3 tonight! I have to say.. it was long - and I felt it. There were too many characters and I find it hard to focus on any emotion. It felt like they're trying to cram too many things in 2 and a half hours, and boy I hate being rushed.
But you must know, it wasn't a bad film. I suppose I'm just too fond of the second one. Really.. this third installment was alright. I kinda like the fact that it's a bit sad. I won't spoil it (much) to those who haven't seen it but I have to say this.. Ohh James Franco!! Your beautiful face! *sigh*

Also, I finally get to see this week's Gilmore Girls. Just for notes, the show is getting cancelled at the end of their current 7th season. It's sad, no more Lorelais.
Anyway, this week's episode was.. I don't know how to describe it but the part with Lorelai singing on the karaoke.. almost made me cry. She was.. Accidentally vulnerable there. Awesome.

Okay. That's it for tonight. Trying to get that song Mary-Jane sang at the jazz club in the end of Spidey-movie but I couldn't find her version anywhere so I'll just have to settle with Diana Krall.
Not feeling too good actually.

Ooh wow!

I hope this is still "news".
Man, I don't know how I missed this for over a month.
(is that Prongs? hmmm...)
Julyyyyy!!
Mahu tengok Spidey malam ini! Hoyehh!

edited on 3:06 PM, May 4th 2007.
Just got the freebie from Nikki! A mug, naturally! You can't act surprised to that. heehee.

A good night!

Okay, I haven't got much to say but I had fun tonight. I had a rendezvous with Bahijah at Hartamas (Uncle Don) and it was waay coool!!

Okay.. I won't curse.

It's sad.. disappointing.
I refuse to go online on my Yahoo! Messenger for fear of being swept by depression. My emotions apparently rules my life, so..

Manchester United LOST. They lost so bad I feel awful for supporting them in the first place. The goals from AC Milan was like taking candy away from a child. Too easy! Sooo easy that I am thankful that humans weren't made to die of shame.
Seriously. I wish I could cry if that would make any sense but I know that it won't. Just a feeling of a deep deep fall into the abyss. Does that make any sense?

I feel like my heart was dropped into a deep, dark hole in the ground and I'm thinking.. "maybe I should just leave it there, 'cause you know.. if I try to reach it, I would entirely fall and there is no way I could be saved."
Get it?

Maybe it's just how I was made. Maybe God has given me the talent to pick teams with the most exciting bunch but with lousy lousy.. incredibly lousy defense. (United.. Selangor.. both teams had won lots but in truth, both teams have always had lousy defense.)

I don't think I'll actually give any credit to AC Milan. (haha!) I would rather think that United's defense was extra lousy tonight. Okay, comparing Dida (the goalkeeper -- not my sister!) to Van De Sar.. he has been brilliant. And Kaka was definitely better than Christiano but he's got time.. In fact, the entire AC Milan team was waaaay more experienced than United's!
I didn't remember who it was actually but the commentator had said last week about how the first time one of Milan's appeared for the team, Christiano was only 7 months old and Rooney was still in the womb! heehee. I thought that was an amusing fact.

Ah.. I knew that to win over Milan was too good to be true. I only dared to hope after last week's amazing performance.
Hope is such a dangerous thing. (if it's a thing at all.)
I'm reduced to hope for EPL and FA Cup then.

Just for notes, I was exposed to more testosterone while I was in the womb, making me more keen to things that guys would find interesting. (Although cars has never been my forte.. no idea why!) Seriously. I checked. heehee.
It's easy, really. Just look at the fingers on your right hand. See (measure if you must) whether your index finger or your ring finger is longer than the other. Your index finger is basically the "estrogen" finger while the ring finger is the "testosterone" finger. Voila!

Now aren't I full of facts tonight?
Going to cheer myself up with a dose of Heroes now. *sigh* It's sad that I truly believe that I'll stay a United's fan 'til the day that I die..

edited on 3:20 PM, May 3rd 2007.
**SPOILER WARNING!!**
It's American Idol related, highlight if you must know: Chris Richardson got booted. And he looks like he's about to cry! Awww. I'm not caring about the show anymore. Bluerghhh.

See.. I'm boring, really.

Bought a new pair of jeans from Dorothy Perkins earlier tonight. They are having mid-season sale, up to 50% korting. Even my dad thinks the jeans was a good buy! heehee.
Second leg of semi-finals between AC Milan and Manchester United will kick off in about an hour. eeeek!! My poor nerves!
Even a cheesecake couldn't help. Two should probably do it but that'd be too much.

edited on 3:24 AM, May 3rd 2007.
Fuck it.
Exactly what I was worried about.. stupid effing defense!! And it's only 38 minutes in. Seriously.

In no mood to write.

Yeah.. well.

Dida wants Chelsea to win tonight. I.. have too many thoughts on this but as the title says..

edited on 1:47 PM, May 2nd 2007.
Poor Chelsea. Poor Dida, after all I've said about Liverpool's stats she had still wanted them to lose. (Dida wasn't really rooting for either team, but she just didn't want her buddy's team to win!)
Maybe Mourinho didn't get the same statistics that I got. haha! Thank you Liverpool F.C. for doing your job. Nobody disses my team and gets away with it.. the prick! And!
"I feel we deserve to be in a final, three times now in four seasons we get this close, we deserve a final."Deserve?? That's childish.

United tonight! eeek!

I just don't feel like writing..

"Significant Saturday"

United is ahead of Chelsea by 5 points when they beat Everton 4-2. I feel bad for Phil Neville when he scored that second goal for United. He probably had a temporary lapse of judgement after all those years playing side by side with his brother.. (You can certainly count on me to romanticize about things as plain as this!)

Chelsea was levelled by Bolton Wanderers with 2-2! ahahhahahaha!! I know I wasn't just supporting them in vain!
But poor Liverpool, lost to Portsmouth! Those Portsmouth players.. are like.. udang disebalik batu.. Sort of. I mean, nobody would expect them to actually do well but they beat out United and Liverpool in the same month!
(Okay, just checked. Portsmouth is actually not doing so bad in the Premier League. haha! They're at 7th place.)

Anyway, perfectly happy about EPL now.
All there is to worry is Champions League this coming Thursday and also EPL match against Chelsea the next Thursday and again with Chelsea the next weekend for the FA Cup finals. heehee. Basically, I am worrying over most of their next matches! ahahahha!

Ohh, you might find me supporting a couple of teams a little odd. Well, I have a few reasons to back that up.
1. I'm not even from England so I think it's a bit embarassing if I take ONE team too seriously. (But of course, I am mostly a United fan.)
2. I got the chance to talk to a Manchester local while I was there.. and he said he supports football teams around the area; and that consists of United, Manchester City, Liverpool and Bolton Wanderers. (just look at a map!)
So actually.. without me actually realizing it.. I have become, some sort of a LOCAL! ahahahhahaha!!
Oh no, I'm having too much fun with rhetorics. heehee.

Ah, poor you for reading all this football stuff.

Amusing.

Okay, it's raining heavily outside so I'm going to make this as quick as I can.

Dida's friend; Kak Ima (and Hairi AKA Johnny!!) got me this from Osaka to add on my HRC pin collection and it took me a while to realize.. and got me laughing. This must be the most amusing HRC pin I've laid my eyes on to date! Absolutely adoring it.

On a different note, I am totally annoyed for the fact that my torrent is downloading reaaally slow this past couple of days!!

ahahhahahaha!!

Sorry, I have nothing really significant to share with you guys so I'm YouTubing again. (Yes, that's what I'm calling it when I embed a video from YouTube.)
I just can't stop laughing! I haven't even seen the episode (stuck at 12%) but this.. it's times like this when I feel like YouTube is my friend. heehee.
Oh, and there's also this.

Wooooohoooo!!!!

3 - 2!!*jigs* That was a bloody brilliant game!! Rooney was wonderful! So was Christiano Ronaldo. Okay fine, I admit.. when he refrains himself from diving, he is for a fact an excellent footballer. Quite admirable.

Defend was crap as always.. now more than ever with Neville, Ferdinand and Vidic benched for injuries. Van De Sar is the father-of-crap in my opinion, no matter what the commentator had said - doesn't change a bit of my thoughts.

I have to be honest; I didn't put my hopes too high at the beginning of the game. I mean.. AC Milan.. As the commentator had mentioned, this game was like Goliath versus Goliath.
Anyway, I am quite happy for now. I have a couple of friends (three) who are openly expressing their displeasure on Y!M and I feel bad for them. Of course, there is no way I am going to brag. I am still worried for the second leg of the semi-finals next week. eeeek!! Kaka is an awesomely good player. He's trouble, for sure. Cute.. but trouble. (And married! hahahhaha!!)
Plus, United has lost all four of the first-choice defenders when Evra got that yellow card. sigh. But maybe Sir Alex Ferguson will throw in Alan Smith somewhere next week. I got used to seeing him these days. heehee.

Still!! United fans around the world may jig happily from now 'til next week as we might be too worried/concerned to keep it up for too long. hahha!
Looking forward to Chelsea versus Liverpool tomorrow! I wonder how that's going to turn out.

Pardon me for making this blog very sports-oriented. I think this blog have always had its seasons. Just that this year United lasts longer than any previous years with being on the run to win the Premiere League (still, 3 points ahead of Chelsea!! woohoo!), FA Cup and yes.. Champions League! (Fingers crossed!!!)

Cheers to all United fans out there!

..and I dreamt of C.

This was my blog layout sometime in 2005. heehee.

GC last night was awesome!! The opening acts; One Buck Short, Estranged and Lo were also nice but Good Charlotte was awesome!!


Okay, the show started unsurprisingly LATE. It started to get annoying after the MTV Ninja-Condom advertisement was played the second time. Also GC's Keep Your Hands Off My Girl video clip. I mean, come on! We all were hankering for the real band anyway! So it was annoying that One Buck Short performed like 4 songs, Estranged with 3 and Lo with 5 songs! So anyway.. after the long wait, with all the boring.. repeated MTV and Digi ads on the two huge screens, and VJs Colby, Denise, Utt and Fazura throwing freebies like pussies.. out came GC with Good Morning Revival! (It was about 10:20 PM)


They performed 15 songs straight out! --not counting the first one since that's really just an intro. And I admit, that I don't think I've ever heard the 3rd song they played! eeek! I feel bad! Thus, I have no idea what's the title.
Songs they performed - that I definitely know; Misery, Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous, Keep Your Hands Off My Girl, Boys and Girls, Predictable, Festival, Hold On, We Believe, Dance Floor Anthem, The River, I Just Wanna Live, All Black, March On, and they awesomely ended the show with The Anthem.
Dida didn't knew a lot of GC's song but she thought they had chosen good songs for the playlist. Cik Alia, Dida, my couzie Sarah and I jumped around a lot to those songs. Just awesome..


Joel was a tad gedik last night. He spoke about how he loved Malaysia and that he wanted to stay here. But he'll need a place to stay (cheer!), a green card; so he'll need to marry someone (screeaaam!!), have friends to hang out with (cheer!) and some lots of other things including a few guys to replace the rest of GC, a twin brother and also a hot teacher who could teach him Malay language. hahha! Ohh!! He had also wanted to make loads of Malaysian babies. ahahahha!!!
I thought him and Benji were amusing last night. Also, sounded awesome!!!!
(I'm using too much 'awesome' aren't I?)
Oh, Billy and Paul were great too! More to Billy 'cause he just deserves it. heehee.
For future references, Joel did try saying a bit of Malay; "Apa khabar" and "Terima kasih".. typical! (But hey, it's the thought that counts! heeheee!)



Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem

So, like everything else in life.. good things come to an end. After all the fun I had at the concert, I came home to find... stuff which I would rather not share in here since it'll only trigger my inner-sailor. (read: "cursing like a sailor")

So I'm changing the subject to my old layout;
Two years have passed and I think this is quite a good time to revise/update it.
2. RND '05 shirt -- well, it was sold out even then.. so no, I didn't get that one.
3. HBP -- hahha! Obviously this list is OLD.
4. Nikon Coolpix 7900 -- hmm.. I haven't felt the need to have a digital camera at the moment, so I don't mind not getting this.
5. boots -- O YEAH!
6. new pair of Converse -- well, I got the pair of Converse but it's no longer new now. Wouldn't mind getting a new NEW pair right now.
7. glasses -- hahha! Just got that a few weeks ago!
8. jeans -- YES!
9. PS, I Love You, Can You Keep A Secret?, Tuesdays With Morrie, Deception Point -- CHECK, read it, CHECK, CHECK!
10. 3 days in Paris -- hahhahahha! YES!!
11. 5 days in Japan -- humm.. no, haven't got the chance. Not feeling so strongly about it right now.
12. a week in UK -- YESS!!
13. see Lifehouse/Good Charlotte live -- Good Charlotte!! woohooooo!!
14. hug Danny Jones -- there's still time...
15. drive -- heeheeheee. Soon?
16. RM500 shopping spree -- one day, surely.
17. see 2006 Malaysian GP -- missed it since I was in Rotterdam. Also missed 2007 GP because I wasn't meant to see it.

Aaah~ I'm still thinking about the concert last night. Feels surreal to have been able to catch them live. I am naturally lucky.. but that was.. That was just AMAZING.

Will put up some photos when I get my hands on them. (And get my head around it.)
edited on 2:06 AM, May 3rd 2007.
personal note: uZap King.

Sigh.

Dang it!
I listened to the wrong song tonight and it's giving me a hankering pain in the chest and stomach. crap. Shouldn't have switched the player on shuffle mode.

Will surely drown/forget this one with the morning's workout session and the night's rocking out.
Hopefully!
I pray.

edited on 9:43 AM, April 21st 2007.

Oh wow!!

You guys pulled through!
Chris is safe for another week! hooraaaayyy!
(I couldn't help but cheer when I knew it was Sanjaya who's going home. Sorry Fanjaya..)
Although I doubt too many American even knows this blog's existance but I'd like to think that I played a part in this week's outcomings, okay? heeheee.

I saw The Number 23 earlier. It wasn't as bad as the reviews said actually. Well, I probably should also state in here that I love movies concerning the mind. Like this one, it's about the obsession of Jim Carrey's character.
But I think it's a bit cheating; how he adds/multiplies/subtracts the numbers just so it'd sum up to 23. I mean.. PINK; RED + WHITE - (what ever number it was) = 23?? CHEATING!
Maybe I should start looking too! Today's date, April 20th, 2007.. 20/04/07.. 7 - 4 + 20.. Oh wow, look at that!
I suppose that's the case with obsession, doesn't matter what you're really seeing but it's that ONE thing that it'll remind you of. For all you know, I could be seeing the constellation in the form of my poop every morning.

Okay, anyway.. as always, I haven't got anything worth while to share.
Later!

ps: I might edit this entry later though.

If---

If there is ONE thing I could change about myself..
I would like to be able to forgive people. No matter how bad or big their mistakes were. Whether the mistakes were done directly to me or others who are close to me.
I just wish that I'm better at forgiving others 'cause right now, even though I seem alright, I do remember the things that I find wrong from other people. And that made me cautious and rather.. cold.

Yeah, I guess I'm a tad hung up over those things but I just have to.
Because forgetting would be stupid. Forgetting will only get my head walked over. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Right?

Ah well..


Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

Come on America!

Vote for Chris Richardson!
I know the show is TONIGHT but consider this as a friendly reminder..
You all know that Chris is well worth being on American Idol.. more than Sanjaya does! geez. Sanjaya should've been booted weeks ago!

Come on! Please vote for Chris -- on my behalf. heehee..
I would've voted for him every week if I was there. He's a pretty fine singer.

Plus, he's HOT!


Can't quit listening to his version of Don't Speak.
(Even though I think he messed up the lyrics at the end!)
edited on 12:10 PM, April 18th 2007.
I am.. very concerned for Chris now.

Sunshine.

Went to see yet another movie with Cik Alia.
We were from Shah Alam at around quarter past twelve. Bought tickets for the 3:20 show of Sunshine, starring Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans and Michelle Yeoh.
We got to have lunch (where I squashed a small roach) and window shopped a bit as we waited for the showtime.

Just as we were about to enter the cinema, we were stopped by these people who were doing some surveys about the upcoming Holland Film Festival. We spent a few minutes there, answering the questions on the form about Holland-related stuff; ie. Do you know any company or brands from Holland?
Anyway, we ended up missing the entire upcoming-movie trailers at the beginning of the movie -- which obviously, to me.. SUCKED! Now I better win some movie tickets from spending that much time on my answer sheet!

Now.. the movie itself was interesting. I kinda liked it. I find the concept and some of it's editing/effects were new. And the way the sound effects were.. oddly amusing. I just liked how it goes.. Refreshing.
The storyline itself wasn't as simple as you might think. It's a bit suspense in some parts and you might leave the cinema with some questions in your head but that's the way I like it. I like leaving the cinema.. thinking. Be it a lame question.
By the way, you won't ever read me doing a summary in this blog. You can easily go to IMDB.com for that.

Earlier today I watched Rock Star (downloaded!) starring Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston and Timothy Olyphant (yes, Fritz.) Well, Dida seemed to like it when she saw the film while she was in Nederland but it's not my cup of tea. The rock songs.. yeech! I didn't like it as much as she did.
But there were some comedic scenes in some parts which I can't help but laugh out loud. Loved the part when the two tribute bands had the fight in the carpark.

Anyway, I'm boring myself will all these movie talk.
I should get some sleep. I went to bed at 8 and woke up around 11 this morning. (Just so I could catch Sunshine with Alia! hahhaha!)

Have a good week, everyone.

Question..

I take it back.

I was going to ask the big void out there a question but I know for a fact that somebody will try to answer it.
Then I will feel all scandalized and go defensive, and with hands shaking, felt like screaming for the ridiculousness of this very odd relationship and thinking.. "what was I thinking??"

Obviously I don't need that.
So here I am, just rambling. With you faithfully reading the crap that I constantly write.

Can you tell that I'm pissed?
Of course NOT! You hardly know me.. I haven't even actually introduced myself to you and all this are just words and I could very well just lying through my fingers and you would have no idea!

Urrghh!! This is so not worth it.
Okay. I am now pissed at myself.
You know what.. my heart is just... tired.
This is one helluva night. An irritating one.

Way cooool!!

Awesome news came in the mail today. heeheeeheeee.
I got tickets to see Good Charlotte!! I actually got them! I answered the simple question on MTV and voila! heheeheee!

So anyway, I got one extra ticket for the showcase that I don't know whom to give to. So dear friends, if you'd like to have it.. just tell me that you're a fan.
Just odd how I can't remember any of my close friends being a GC fan..

ps: I have.. indeed, quite successfully in clearing up my room. At least my dad agrees that I did. hahha!! Ohh, just for notes, I haven't emailed H&M like I said the other day. I think I was distracted by something else.
edited on 12:04 AM, April 17th 2007.

One hot day.

Is it just me or today has been really really hot?

I've been spending most of the day.. doing.. nothing much.
Totally forgot about F1 all together. geez. (Good thing Massa won -- I just checked.) Anyway, I tried cleaning up the room until Dida called and asked if I had wanted to come with her for some lingerie shopping! heehee.

So we went to Midvalley. Dida's original plan was to go to the Wacoal section in Jusco but she didn't find any to her liking. She asked if there's any independent store outside of Jusco.
I suggested LaSenza since that is the only store that I can visualize; considering I've walked along that way so many times when I was heading to GSC.

We went up the escalator.. and Dida asked, "What's women'secret?"
I never knew it was there.. hahha! So I told her that we should go in. (I know the store.. but I never got inside the one in Midvalley -- as if you needed to know this.)

The prices were.. slightly above normal, but we love it! Very nice customer service, and if you know me.. you've probably noticed that I have a certain weakness for excellent, welcoming customer service!
The sweet store person kept suggesting my sister to try on just anything that caught her eye -- which we really appreaciate -- and didn't look bothered at all when I kept coming out of the fitting room to ask for different designs. Very well-tempered lah! I really like!
Every sales assistant should be just like that. Exactly like that.

The point of this story;
Ladies, go shop for your lingeries at women'secret in Midvalley!! I find them very comfy and the designs are also very cute! Sure, they have plain ones.. but that's just boring. Actually, now come to think of it, they sort of reminds me of Pierre Cardin's designs -- like 2 years ago. Their design these days are boring! blah.

Anyway, after spending (a LOT!) in there.. we headed to Dorothy Perkins. (Honestly, Europe has ultimately mess up mine and Dida's shopping habits.) Let's just say that the way we spent last night was not too far from the way we had spent when we were in Europe. AMATLAH BOROS!! Well, not really. I keep reminding myself about that episode on Oprah when the two women from What Not To Wear came as guests and said, "invest on a good pair of bra." heeheee. True.. true..

After all the shopping, we had dinner, sent food back home, drove around for a bit talking about our new pair of bras (yes, you HAVE to know this) and went home at about 11.
Now I'm just grateful that Dida lets me off with so many things. She gave me an extra day to clear up the room. God has been so kind to me. sigh.

ps: Been wondering about the black bands on the arms of the players on yesterday and today's FA Cup semi-finals. (Man U, Watford, Chelsea and Blackburn players) Just checked Wikipedia and the only thing that makes sense is the Hillsborough disaster. That may be it. Even I feel like mourning over it. I am for a fact a Manchester United fan through and through but.. "You'll never walk alone."
edited on 1:43 AM, April 16th 2007.

3 hours of sleep.

Are you seeing double? If the answer is "yes" -- good! That is exactly how I want you to see it because these are only the people who were walking towards the PC Fair in KL Convention Centre. At the real halls.. you'd be lucky to get stuck near the entrance; at least those people smells nicer than the ones who are already in the middle of the crowd -- yeech!

Alia and I were there for about an hour just looking through what they had to offer. Alia was browsing through some laptops while I collected some pamphlets of printers for my sister.
Anyway, it was about 3 when we finally got our lunch -- our stomachs just wouldn't stop grumbling at that time.

We went to Kinokuniya for a bit. Alia got pissed about them not letting her to read the comics and sit on the floor while I got freaked when he saw me. (Typically, I just left without a single word.) But not before pre-booking a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. hahha! Typical. Just typical. (Save 25% if you pre-book now! RM50 for deposit though -- now that's making an obvious hole to my purse.)

We made our way back around 5 since I needed to be someplace else. Alia had to drive through some awful traffic jams -- thanks Alia!
Met up with Dida in section 2 where we part ways with Alia as me and my sister made our way to Bukit Kapar; where the children wouldn't sleep.

Got back in Shah Alam at about 11pm but Dida and I didn't feel like coming home just yet, so we just dropped our parents off and the two of us went for a drive around -- for two hours! We ended up driving in quite a big round.

We got back just in time to catch the FA Cup semi-final between Watford and Manchester United. We won, o'course! hahha! 4 goals to 1. I honestly don't understand Van De Sar and his incapability to let the other team remain score-less!

Oh God, I SO need to get a more exciting life. These lame entries are seriously boring me.

Very nice.

I feel like I've just made a new friend.

For about two weeks I've been communicating with the web-administrator from Coffee Bean. I was having problems with logging in the site so I emailed her (yes, I've found out that the administrator is a SHE. Nikki, to be exact.)

Let's just say that we've exchanged emails once every few days as she helped me try out things and I would email back about how it didn't work.. (haha!) To date, she's even called me twice (woke me from my sleep at both occasions, actually) to let me know that she's done something to my account and had wanted me to try logging in again.

Very good service, I'm telling you.
Reminds me of Domino's! Wonderful wonderful people over there.
Just to say that Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf -- awesome! Starbucks.. eh? Well, I can't choose between the two considering I love their Java Chip Frap (formerly known as Rhumba Frap) and the huge Venti cup.
But I have been going to Coffee Bean lately for their Caramel Frap (except of course on those times when I was in Europe since there wasn't a Coffee Bean store over there. Almost as shocking as there isn't even a single Starbucks in Nederland!)

I'm rambling, aren't I?
By the way, Nikki's call this morning had proven to be successful. I can now log into my Coffee Bean account! Yeayy!

Anyway, earlier tonight the entire family (that's me, Dida, parents, Nina, Abang Min and the kiddies) had dinner at Chilli's in Midvalley. Haven't gone there for how long I can't remember!

I'm bored.. can you tell?
I'm uploading some work stuff for Nina. It comes in the territory of being the unofficial personal assistant to both of my sisters. I do favours to get on their good side. Not too bad. Just mundane -- and I don't get to complain about it since I have nothing better to do.
Good God, I so want to write again!

Just for side notes, s03e20 of The Office was really funny. The betting in the office was really neat. Also, Good Charlotte's Good Morning Revival sounds brilliant!
Good Charlotte - Broken Hearts Parade

Just a funeral march for love today..
Ohh. Now that I remember.. I probably should write that snail mail to Aunty Loon and also email H&M to ask them to open a store over here in Malaysia! hahahha!! Talk about having too much time in my hands.

edited on 4:10 AM, April 17th 2007.
Oh.. sakit hati kerana orang perasan tahu. Seriously, when will they ever learn that if there's anything that ticks me the most.. it's people assuming that they know things about me. You know what, I think I'll just keep quiet from now on. Better keep myself shut than having people starting to say things that will end up making me feel like punching something.

I guess you can't help the fact that some people couldn't tell if you just want them to listen and say nothing or to give you an input. In this case, I wished you had just nodded and not make any other comment.
Would it hurt to agree with me once in a while?

This.. this is EXACTLY why I should never share. Sharing is NOT caring. Sharing is idiotic. No, really sharing will blow your mind away and that is why I refuse to let anyone in. At least I'll be a screw up by myself and no one will know to which extent.
Alas, my mistake.. yet again.

Happy Birthday Incik Arep!

This will be a short one.

Cik Alia, Incik Arep and myself went out to catch a movie. Alia decided on Hannibal Rising. The movie was alright; if you've seen Silence Of The Lambs or Hannibal, then you should know that this film is about how Hannibal Lecter became.. the man that he was.

Okay. Got nothing else to say.
Incik Arep, glad you liked the little pressie.
Amazing how I only turned 22 years and four months while my friends are already turning 23.
Goodnight and goodbye.

My sister is a bad influence.

Well, not exactly "bad" per se considering I wasn't so innocent to begin with. It's more like she's given me an opening for me to be more.. clouded.
It's as if I'm a grey coloured piece of cloth and she's an open tube of a darker shade of grey fabric dye. heh!

Anyway, me and Dida went to see Shooter late last night and we enjoyed it. Truthfully it wasn't my favourite genre for movies but I was pretty hooked by midway. It's a cool film about conspiracy starring Mark Wahlberg.


The thing about this sort of films is that.. I know that it was cool, but if you ask me to tell you how the story actually go, I couldn't! I just.. forget about it. But I know it's cool!! (Which makes it more and more confusing -- to me, at least.)
"I don't think you understand, they killed my dog."

You know, I keep getting myself confused about Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon and Ewan McGregor.. the names and their faces kept exchanging between themselves in my head. So somehow, I end up liking all three just as much! (Yes, even after I've seen McGregor on Trainspotting -- the git!)

I was keen on seeing Blades Of Glory actually, but I found out that it'll only be released over here in MAY!! That is just.. whacked. Seriously. Not too sure if I'll be able to wait that long even though my main motive to see it is Jenna Fischer! woot! Go go The Office people!
I'm pretty keen on seeing The Last Mimzy (Rainn Wilson) and really keen on License To Wed (John Krasinski!!) as well. hahha! What else can I say.. I'm smitten.

Aah.. Man U will match up against AC Milan for the semi finals of EUFA Champions League. Chelsea against Liverpool.. ha ha ha ha!!

Currently listening to: The River by Good Charlotte.
Nak menang tiket Good Charlotte pliss! Man, it's bugging me that I've wrote down somewhere sometime ago about how I want to see them live in my lifetime.
edited on 1:42 PM, April 21st 2007.

I have a confession..

I have been putting away (accidentally) my Moleskine for about a week.

I don't know.. it never happened before. There never was a time when my writing book or journal or diary has been away from me for more than 3 hours. I used to need to have it close by my side. At least I need to know that it's in my reach within 0.5 second.
I mean.. this thing that's happening right now.. is HORRIBLE!!

I just don't get it. What is becoming of me?

I've been thinking about the stuff that people has ever told me.. and I'm trying to figure out if I've shared with them stuff about myself as much as they have shared theirs. I keep thinking about these things.
You know, as much as I hide things from my family or friends.. I don't really want to die without them knowing the real me. I don't want them to assume things about me. I just hate the idea of them sitting together, planning a vacation and thought, "Wanie would've enjoyed cruising in the croc-full river." -- NO, I wouldn't!

Time and time again the words just got stuck in my throat. Whether it's for fear of sounding stupid.. or one of those trust issues again.. I keep wondering if I should finally meet up with a psychiatrist.
Who am I kidding? How can I possibly share my deepest thoughts with a stranger if I can't even share them with my family?? (This blog is obviously different. It does not respond to the crap I say.)

I should go.
Man U will match against AS Roma in a few minutes (sigh.. would it be embarassing if I say that I sort of believe that they can pull it off? I suppose we'll just see..) and before then, I should go and find my Moleskine.

edited on 5:13 AM, April 11th 2007.
heeheeheeee. They can pull it off! *throw my head back and laugh* Although there were too many yellow cards for my own liking.. but heyy! FOUR goals in first half? That's just brilliant, no doubt about it!

The game ended with 7 goals to 1!! Bloody brilliant!! Two goals from Carrick, another two from Christiano Ronaldo (okay, I'm getting over the fact that I dislike him now) and one each from Alan Smith, Rooney and that Evra person! Cheers!
This game reminds me of that circus! hahahhaha!