The deafening silence.

Sigh.
I've been trying my hardest not to turn into an old mad cow for the past few days.. And I think I've pretty much succeeded. Kan?
Tapi dalam hati ada jungle..

I suppose there isn't anything new to write about. It's always the same thing. Over and over again.

If things are not meant to be, there is no point in forcing it right? I feel like crying, but I think I've cried too much already. It's a wonder how one never runs out of tears to cry though..

So my dear readers, I apologise in advance should this blog is filled with dark and hopeless entries in the coming days. I am unsurprisingly in a dark empty space and it feels like my Sun had decided to hide behind the clouds endlessly.

I know my ego brings me nowhere, and I am nowhere near trying to "win". It was never about winning. It has always been about meeting me halfway.
But I'm done waiting like a fool.
How messed up could one be to get teary eyed from an Eminem song anyway?! Gila!

So..
Hmmm...
I gotta stop writing before I accidentally cry in this saloon I'm in. Ha - ha! I am so emotional these days, it's really not funny.

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Temuduga terbuka!

Looking for a GIRL best friend, buat iklan, boleh?
Plis?
Feels like I'm surrounded by too many boys! I am.. Confounded. Sometimes it sucks to talk to people who can't seem to FEEL as much as you do.
Macam cakap ngan dinding. Kau denga balek suara kau, lantas.. Kosong. Takde motif. Buat sakit hati lagi pun ada.

Semalam buat pertama kalinye aku keluar dengan crew di KL yang bukannya kawan Encem juga.
It felt liberating!
Aku dah lama tak melepak ngan orang yang bukan mutual friend jugak kot. Ada lah perasaan naik menyampah bila lepak ngan orang yang sama, topik perbualan yang sama..

Sorry Bestie, lately it feels as if you're more of Encem's friend than mine. Hahahhahha!

I haven't been feeling like myself. Everything is just.. Mediocre. Passion-less. For work. For love. Mediocre.
Not exactly how I pictured my life to be.
I imagined myself laughing hysterically to a joke when I'm 50.. Not living a dull, conversation-less life. I need something to look forward to. But now it feels like I'm just looking forward to death.
My heart had died a little yesterday, so what the heck!

I need a little pick-me-up.
Please God. I need the spark back into my life. Please. It's sad to not be able to remember the sound of your own laughter.

You really have to have a gift for conversation in order to win a #Sagittarius heart.Not just air-headed talk,but conversation with meaning.
(via ZodiacFacts on Twitter)

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It's just a little crush..

Not like I faint everytime we touch.

Now.. What would you do if you're in a comfortable relationship, but somehow you couldn't get another person out of your head?
Yikes!

A colleague of mine had this situation; where she's been with a guy for three years. They've met each other's parents.. Had conversations about marriage..
But she found herself just caring deeply for this guy, not truly in love.
And now she's interested with another man. Not as eligible as the current boyfriend, but he's someone she'd love to get to know more.

I told her that she should choose the second guy, because obviously.. If the first guy was HER man, she wouldn't thought of the second guy in the first place.
But am I right to suggest that?

If I were in her shoes..
If I were in her shoes...
I suppose it seems stupid to leave the one you love for someone whom had seem a bit more exciting. Of course, in my case, I DO love Encem. (How can I tell this? Well, apparently the other day I was strumming the guitar and threw some words together and they ended up as a love song. Seemed pretty obvious to me. Oh well..)
I guess I'm pretty certain I'd leave the guy I'm with if I no longer feel the heart ache when he leaves my side -- even if for just a minute.

I am a master of curious hearts though.. There's no doubt about that.
Hence the reason I PRAY that Encem is nothing like me... If that makes any sense at all!
Sorry if you find this a bit too jumbled up. I am finding it hard to construct proper sentences to describe my thoughts lately.

Moving on;
Talking to my Leading yesterday got me into thinking that this job is not for the affectionate. In some ways, it's actually better to be cold hearted.
For instance, two of my close friends had given birth -- and I've seen neither of those babies.
As for him, the father of his good friend has passed away and he couldn't even be there for his friend. It's sad.. You could know a person your whole life but you couldn't be there because you're not related to them.
Hmm.. It makes you think.

Now, top ten pet peeves working in this line (in no particular order);
1. Dapat crew konon happening tapi bila berborak, topik perbualan tak memberangsangkan. Rasa buang masa je keluar sama..
2. Dapat Leading yang takde lah malas, tapi dalam masa yang sama tak memudahkan kerja kau. Pesan kat crew tak perlu menyusahkan diri buat lebih lebih, tapi dia sendiri buat kerja seminimum mungkin; so orang lain kena buat kerja yang dia "ter" tinggal tu.
3. Orang bukak latch tak reti nak tutup balek. Lagi lagi time dekat nak landing! Hoi pantang betul aku..
4. Orang konon ikut procedure tapi procedure DIA. Ikut manual MY ASS!
5. Flight time dua jam setengah, suruh kerja ala ala flight time sejam sepuluh minit. Kau kejar ape bai?
6. Tech crew banyak songeh. Mintak itu ini kalahkan Indian pax.
7. Crew yang lebih junior tak nak denga cakap. Aku dah cakap elok elok kau pegi defensive lak buat apee? Aku pesan je kot, sebelum kau kena sembor ngan senior! Kalau aku memang bitchy tu lain la cite.. Kau 117, aku pun 117.. Kau buat palat, aku pun kena jugak oi.
8. Senior yang konon cool, taknak tego salah silap si junior lalu menyusahkan satu set. Terima kasihlah!
9. Steward perasan hensem dan boleh dapat siapa saja yang dia flirt with. Kau hensem? Aku pun cantik, kau ingat aku heran?
10. Perasaan perlu salam ngan semua crew yang ada dalam crew lounge ataupun smoking room ataupun kelas. Macam la aku ingat nama korang pun, lambai je plis!

Tak perlu lah list pasal crew yang definitely malas. Obvious sangat kot. Kalau tak pandai, boleh diajar. Kalau pemalas..? Hmmph! As for passenger lak, itu kena tunggu lain hari.
Aku nak tidooo!
Tak sabar nak balek umah. Letih trip ni hari hari empat sector! The day after keje lagi lak tu!

Konfius aku jadinye.. Aku ni keje ngan MH ke AK??

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Cacher mon coeur.

Feels like it's been a while since I wrote anything -- but the matter of fact is, it's only been five days!
Anyway, suppose I could say that a lot has happened in five days.. I've been wanting to write about all these "happenings" but I just couldn't find the time. Just didn't feel like blogging through my phone.

Plus, had I blogged with my phone, I couldn't upload pictures such as this;

So I went to Cameron Highlands with a group of people on Wednesday for a follow-up to the Tea & Coffee Program that I did months ago. There were about twenty of us, and I didn't know seventeen of them!! hahahahha! But it was fun anyway. I managed to coax the two that I know to take silly jumping pictures with me! Yaaang pentiing, okay!

I thought the whole thing was a tad funny. All of us ended up coming home with bags and bags of vegetables, strawberries, flowers and fruits! Hahahhahaha Tea Program? Sure.. sure..

So in my previous entries I've been telling you about annoying little perverted tech crew and cabin crew.. And to round up the collection, I now have one by the bloody driver!!
Yesss.. sampai driver pon tetiba menggatal ni.. WHAT'S GOING ONNNN?!!!
Tak paham betul la. Sumpah aku tak menggedik. Bestie can vouch for this, I was never the type to menggedik tak semena-mena. I'm not even the type yang bercerita sambil tepuk tampar orang sebelah. So tell me, why is it that men around me seems to be at liberty to touch me freely??
Sialan.. memang sialan. Sesial office tetiba email aku suruh jumpa my Flight Administrator sebab aku lambat hantar MC. agghhhhhh!!!

Alkisahnya, seorang driver yang kebiasaannye aku boleh bawak berbual, tetiba mula pegang pegang belakang aku. And bila dia dah blah, dan aku fikir aku boleh lupakan episode pelik tu, dia datang semula and kissed the top of my head.
APAKAAAAHHH?!!!

Kenapa orang yang aku suka tak penah nak kiss aku? (EHHH??!) hahahahahhaha!!
Anyway, next time benda pelik jadi lagi, sumpah aku nak menjerit.
Sakit hati ada.. Musykil ada.. Feels like all the perverted men in the Universe somehow found a cosmic way to find me.

Ughh.. Perverted men are attracted to the smell of stinky armpits kot.
Okay, I'm hungry. I need to get out and get myself some meat.
MEAAAAAAAATTTT!!

"Selamat berbogel!"

It's been really hot these days..
So hot that while my collegues were talking about their plans of sleeping once our flight is over, I chidded in with, "I nak balek, bogel bogel pastu golek kat katil."
And thus, the title for today's entry was Ain's parting words at the terminal. I thought it sounded awesome. Hahahaha!

Anyway, my days had seem uneventful these days. Or maybe they were eventful but I am trying to be stoical about it.
Actually my life had felt like it's been turned upside down a bit. It's days like these when I curse my fickleness. I have to. For fear of having too much fun. Hahahahahha I'm not sure if that makes any sense.

It's weird how random guys seem to be at liberty to touch me lately. I meant that literally. And I don't think that I'm really into 'touching'. Seems like it stirs a whole load of emotion. Some are fine.. But some are just downright irritating. Do I look like I'm freaking EASY to YOU??!

Aku ni ala ala sekolah pondok koot.. Zaman skolah dulu ada boyfriend pun aku mana nak pegang pegang tangan. Takat nak cross jalan tu okay lah, lepas dah cross jalan sungguh sungguh aku tarik balek tangan aku.

Time kat U pulak penah ada kawan rapat aku.. Well, a friend to me, but different in his mind. One day he tried to keep me awake by pressing his palms on my cheeks. Aha, satu hari muka rasa kebas. Terkejut.
Aku budak skema oiii!!

So, surprisingly, up to this day, I'd still feel slightly uncomfortable when a guy; who isn't a good friend or my boyfriend touches me. And having to introduce yourself with a handshake at work is still.. "Ughhh" to me.

So yeah.. My dear male collegues. Sorry if I seemed "uncool" when you get all touchy feely on me. I suppose I'm only frivolous in my thoughts but not really in my actions.

Kisah untuk entry kali ini;
Haritu aku naik transport nak balek, ada lah sorang lagi steward dalam van. Memula cerita topik cabin crew biasa sajalah; fly dari mana? Stay kat mana? Blablabla.. Buat sektor ape?.. Pastu diam. And then dia tanya, "you dah kahwin ke?"
HAAA?? What's with the backwards question? Kalau nak tau single ke idak, perlu ke kau tanya aku dah kahwin belum?

Anyway, nak dipendekkan cerita, sepanjang perjalanan kitorang memang berbual lah. Tapi ada la pulak segment dia dedicate lagu rock kapak kat aku. Malu kot. Abang driver dengar kooot. (Dedicate lagu rock kapak! Haiyoo..)
Ada juga segment dimana dia mengaku of posessing the gift of 'reading' people.

Iklan kejap; kenapa orang suka cakap kat aku pasal dia tau baca orang?? Aku pun boleh baca orang! Ada aku bising? Tak kan.. Hmmph!
Unless dia boleh tengok muka aku and siap bagitau apa nama mak aku, makanan favourite aku, lagu favourite aku.. Selagi tu aku tak heran lah!

Okay, sambung balik. So steward ni sepanjang bercerita dan berteka teki ngan aku, dia ada laa sentuh sentuh.. At one point dia siap usap bawah dagu macam aku ni kucing. Pastu aku pun tanya lah, dia ingat aku ni kucing ke. Pastu dia kata tak, dia yang kucing, aku ikan. Aku tak tanya la kenapa sebab orang suka cakap mata aku cam ikan..
Sekali dia kuar statement; "sebab you anak ikan I.."
APAKAHHHHH?!!!
Kenapa aku asyik jumpa orang pelik pelik nieee!!
Pastu bila dah sampai destinasi, dia salam aku sambil cium tangan aku..
Errr.. I REALLY don't find that charming.

It could be.. Had I had any GOOD feelings for him. Tapi sebab aku tak gemar, aku rasa yakeng! Geli wehh! So aku nak simpulkan kisah kali ni dengan satu soalan; KENAPA KEBELAKANGAN NI LELAKI AKU TAK KENAL SUKA PEGANG/SENTUH AKU NI?!!

Kot ye pun tunggu la once we had one deep conversation where we talked bout LIFE kee.. Something of substance that I'd register you as somebody 'worthwhile' to talk to in my mind.
Ini idak.. Practically nobody tetiba nak menyendeng. Lu pahaaaaal?!!
Kang ada gak side gangster aku kuar.
Jangan carik pasal ngan budak skolah seksyen dua bai..

On a different note, I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm packing my heart and sending it away to the dark side of the moon.
Sigh.

The little things.

Let's face it, we Malaysians do not practice courtesy that much.
When people open doors, they walk through and ignores the people behind them. It's not that I expect you to hold the doors for me, but at least you should hold it long enough for me to catch it.

When the elevator door opens, WAIT until the ones in it comes out before you actually walk in. Or if you're by the buttons, you could simply ask the ones that just came in which floor they'd like to get off. Its really not that hard.

The other day I was in the elevator at my home.. This girl came in with a bunch of things in her hand. She looked like somebody's maid.. I asked her which floor, and the look on her face.. It was a mixture of amazement.. Surprise..
I'm not saying that I am awesome (although I really am.. Bahahahha!) But really, sometimes the little things that means nothing to you actually means something to someone else.

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it is very important that you do it anyway."
-- Ghandi

You never know, you know?
Hihihihi

The little things..
Funny how those little things could mean so much.

Anyway, I'm in Penang hanging out with the FO I flew with earlier today. Talking about the stupidest things! I love nights like this..
Feels like I haven't been speaking out loud for a while. Anything that I shared was only through my blog -- which is bordering on pathetic really.
Oh well, thank you dear FO that shall remain nameless! Kikkiki


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New kid on the block!

Meet the very young man of the family;

Muhammad Alif Hazmi
Not sure if I got the spelling right, though. I tried calling Kina but she didn't pick up. I tried convincing them not to name him Alif (BAHAHAHHAHAHA!! Sorry Bestie..) but I suppose they were adamant on it.
I have nothing against that name, really. After all, it's my Bestie's first name! But I couldn't help telling Kina what my Alif said to me about a particular Leading Stewardess that he'd just flew with. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!! (Sorry again..)

Is it just me or babies practically looked the same?
Or maybe it's just Kina's kids..

It's really sweet how the sisters dote on him.
And how proud and excited they were when Dida and I came around to visit. Really adorable!

Now I can't wait for him to start jumping or at least be sturdy enough so we could have him in our annual Raya pictures! Of course, Aqilah will be put to the test in a few months.. wheee! ♥

Kakakku bersalin lagi..

Finally..
BABY BOY!!
Birthday sama ngan birthday blog pulak. Hahahahha!! I am so excited about having a nephew!

Tapi... Cemana jaga budak laki eh? Kikkiki
Blur sekejap. Adik beradik sendiri pun semua pompuan. Selama ni anak sedara yang tiga orang pun pompuan..
Tetiba ada laki dah ni.. Hihi

I haven't seen him yet, though. I was in Singapore on a layover. I'm hoping to see him later today or tomorrow!
(And perhaps I'll even post his picture!)

Isyk. I'm already thinking of ideas for a birthday present for a BOY. Susah tau! Girls are easier because you can give them something of sentimental value and they'd appreciate it. Boys macam.. hmm.. Kena kasi BARANG kot..
And the only things that comes to mind are expensive ones; electronics, gadgets.. Oyy!

Selama ni birthday Encem pun aku tibai je la pape. Everytime birthday dia aku jadi nervous tak tentu pasal sebab tak tau nak kasi ape. Nak kasi barang mahal (yang aku pasti dia akan suka gila) macam.. Hek eleh, blom jadi "laki" aku lagik! Chit!

Slow slow lah aku blaja..
I wonder if my nephew will become a spoiled brat. Probably not. Even the fact that he's the sole boy in this family (so far), kakak dia dah cukup manja/ganaz untuk dia dapat his parents' sole attention.
At least itu yang aku rasa laa..
Aku harap dia tak jadi mommy's boy lah. Oh tidakk!

Mommy's boy is sweet.. Tapi sebenarnye kalau sampai semua benda pun nak kene refer mommy, menyampah!
Eh, dah terkeluar topik!

Anyway, CONGRATS KINA & JASMIN!
Dah empat dah anak korang. Three more to go untuk cukupkan cita cita korang; "satu khadam untuk satu hari".. Hahahahahahha!!

www wanieidris com

Alright kids,

go update your bookmark and links 'cause I've moved to
www.wanieidris.com
(or www.wanieidris.com/?m=1 if you're Mobile!)
BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!

I'm excited about having my own name there.
Finally after 9 years my blog stands alone.
Btw,
Happy Birthday, blog!!
Kalau budak, dah darjah 3 dah..

Talking To The Moon.

Bulan malam tadi macam telur asin..
Kaler oren lak.
No, I wasn't hungry.. I don't even eat telur asin.. Tak tau kenapa.. Just didn't feel like trying it out. Maybe someday..
Macam stinky tofu. I used to say that I'd never eat it; sekali haritu kat Taipei try lak. Hihi.
Just for notes, it tastes quite alright despite the smell.

I'd spent my 3 days off in Johor. Dida had wanted to see her shipment in Pasir Gudang, and while we're at it we wanted to see the so called "Singapore Great Sale".
From a Malaysian view -- it's not really that great.

Maybe it's the currency exchange, but I don't know.. Saving a buck or two just doesn't seem "great" to me.
I did manage to get the things that I'd planned on buying, so the trip wasn't at all disappointing.

Walking around Singapore brought back some memories though. Almaklum lah, ex-boyfriend Singaporean. Unfortunately he's unavailable to meet me. I miss him actually. He's easy to talk to.
But I don't enjoy him asking about my life when I am in an emotional roller coaster. Hahahhaha

Anyway, I need to stay home for my next off days.. Feels like I'm never home! Rumah semua macam rumah tumpangan.. I miss rolling around in my still-new bed! Yes, I consider it new still since I can count the times I've been sleeping in it -- FOUR!
Sadis kan jadi crew? Dah sebulan ada katil baru, tapi cuma empat kali tido kat umah..

Oh well, I'm on the highway back to KL now.. Getting sleepy now I've pictured my bed at home.. waiting ever so patiently.

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Tuhan tolonglah aku.

I am staring at the screen.. trying to make words of my feelings.
I couldn't find any though..
I know how tiring it can get to read about all these negativities.. so if you are getting tired, PISS OFF AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BLOG!

I am feeling rather empty. A little too worn out I suppose. I don't intend to sound unappreciative of life but.. I really am tired of this constant roller coaster. I am a restless being, wishing for excitement and adventure and yet I am held stagnant. Sure a roller coaster is fun -- for the first couple of times, but after a while it gets boring. So you get on another ride, exciting at first but eventually it bores the hell out of you. This goes on for a while because you thought that there must be a roller coaster ride out there that you won't get tired of... but deep down you know.
You know that a roller coaster ride is just exactly what it is; a roller coaster ride.
Might as well you just sit on a bench. At least you won't be fooled by the idea of excitement when you'll be just as bored at the end of it.

To be honest with you, I don't know what that metaphor is really for. Perhaps it's just my life in general. I'm wishing for a life that matters. Hoping for a significant existence. But I feel like a blip. Small, unimportant and easily forgotten.
I know Dida said that I mattered. Yes, I matter to those whom loves me. But I feel nothing for myself.

Why does it seem like happiness is only temporary?
Or is that only just for me?
I was told that in a relationship you must hold on to the good times in the times of bad. But what if I can't do that? What if I am always haunted by the bad times? Does that mean that I shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with?

You know how recently I told you about what I wished for in the earlier part of my life? How I wished that by the age 27 I'd have a man that I could marry. Come to think of it, I'd only came up with "27" because I thought it was a good age to be married. (Not 27.. but around that.) But if you ask me whether I really want to be married.. not really.
It's flattering to have someone who would want to marry you, but am I really certain that I won't wonder if I've made the right decision?

And I am a true believer that your spouse should be your best friend. One that you trust the most. But.. I don't even trust myself. How am I supposed to trust another person??

ughhhh!! I am feeling so SHITTY right now!!
Perhaps I should just say what I'd wanted to say to the person that I need to say it to.

Deep thoughts.

Dark thoughts?
I honestly don't know.. I haven't decided yet.

I'd spent the weekend in Kuantan with Dida. It seems like we keep having these little weekend getaways. And every single time I learn a little more of myself;

1. I hate it when someone asks me when I'm getting married. It makes me want to rage, scream then slap that someone's face. But since that is highly inappropriate, all I could do is keep my mouth shut and make a face every single time. Dida is my witness.

2. I am a highly emotional girl. I tried, I really did.. to be emotionless, But that is not who I am. I wish that I wasn't, but I was born this way. I cry. I cry a lot! I cried watching Letters To Juliet. It's not even that good of a film, but I cried anyway.
..and to ask me to change who I am, is a cruel cruel thing to do.

3. Having someone saying that a particular person was "for me" does not bring me pride.. or joy. It does not bring me any feeling of assurance.
It just keeps me wondering and brings a whole lot of questions that I cannot answer.
Maybe because I just keep on crying. Nothing changed.
I'm still that sad girl that I've always been.
And I've always hoped for laughter. The unending sunshine that brightens my day. But the clouds keep coming in, so where did we go wrong?

4. I realized that I do have a wall around my heart. It doesn't keep the hurt away, but it gives me the courage to bounce back. I take promises seriously, but when they are broken.. I don't know.. I was never surprised. Come to think of it, nothing ever surprised me really. I've always had this mental preparedness -- that anything is possible. It comes in handy when something bad happens. I wouldn't be caught off guard.

5. It feels like I'm getting good at lying. Too good that I've managed to fool myself again and again. Perhaps I need to talk it out. But everyone's been too busy to just "talk" these days.

They say that if you really love someone, you should let them go. That if they were meant for you in the first place, they would come back. Funny thing though.. had I been the one to leave, I would never come back. I'd rather see the "love" in action! Don't ever let me go.. or better yet, don't ever let me think of going! Or if I'd left, come and look for me!
But I don't think that will ever happen. Everyone thinks that I'm smart enough to make decisions for myself but they never thought that their response plays a big part on that decision. It's almost too easy to leave.

Hmm.. I forgot why I wrote this entry. Sorry for sounding so sombre. I was crying while I wrote all these so.. I don't know. I wish I have an explanation for everytime that I sound crazy or unappreciative.
Suppose you could say that I always want need more.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

by W. Shakespeare, Hamlet

Losing my mind.

I've always feared that.
Alzheimer's actually.
Losing your memory.. Losing yourself.. bit by bit and and only after there is no YOU left inside you, death comes along.
I hate being clueless. I hate being lost.

So I've been forgetting a lot of things lately. I almost forgot Papa's birthday on the second. I couldn't tell the time properly last night. And I keep misplacing things and forgetting important things behind. How silly could you be to forget your toiletries when you know you're going on a quick weekend retrieve -- TWICE! I said twice because the first time I forgot about it, I wrote a note of things that I need to take when I get back. And yet, despite the note I still forgot to take it with me when I left the apartment.
*curses*

What's more frustrating, instead of Dida being mad for having to drive me back and forth from Shah Alam to Bukit Jalil and wasting her time, she simply suggested that I should see a doctor about it.
She knows me for being forgetful and she knows that it's getting worse.

So yeah.. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out but you won't see it 'cause I keep forgetting that I have this problem of remembering things. Hahahaha! (Not funny, really.)

If I do see a doctor, what am I supposed to say anyway? "Hello doctor, I think I've become more forgetful.." That just sounds silly..

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Hiatus tak menjadi.

I thought I was going to be on hiatus; trying to figure out ways to sort out the whole scrolling problem when you load this blog on your smartphone.
Turns out it only took a few clicks to have it settled! hahahahha! Thank you Blogger.
And now I only *need* a Blogger app for my Blackberry. (unfortunately Google haven't created one yet. pssh! -- kind of annoying as Wordpress has it.)

Speaking of Wordpress.
I love Wordpress. I swear I would have moved this blog there had I been able to edit the template freely. But no, to have that kind of freedom one would need to upgrade their account with $15 per year. Over! Bukan aku suruh kau buatkan HTML/CSS aku ponn!
But there are some awesome stuff on Wordpress that I wish Blogger has too.. sigh.
I think I will always have that Blogger vs. Wordpress tug of war in my head.

It just hit me that I've had this layout for YEARS! I used to be CRAZY about changing the layout.. and yet I've used this one since 2009!!! In 2005 alone I changed the layout SEVEN FRIGGIN' TIMES!! And one of them looked like this;

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA bangang betul aku ni dulu..

So anyway.. perhaps it's time for me to change the layout..
--When I have the time.
It's going to take days before I could get comfortable with Photoshop, HTML and CSS codes again. Plus my brain needs some rest after trying to figure out some stuff about DNS, FTP and Nameserver yesterday.. pffft!
Feels like I'm getting stupid, honestly.

Alright, I should take a nap or something. Bangalore tonight and then I'll be on leave! Woooohoo!!

Projek Hari Cuti.

Aku tak suka kaler rambut -- sebab busuk!
And aku tak suka kaler kuku -- sebab tangan aku tak stable, kalau aku buat sendiri bersepah rupanye. Nak pegi kedai lak.. takkan nak aku belanja empat puluh Ringgit every dua minggu just on kuku?? Gila!

Makes you wonder cemana aku ni boleh jadi flight attendant memandangkan aku ni selalu comot je. Kalau aku mood rajin baru aku keluar pakai contact lense, mekap sekali. Kalau tak, harapan lah!

Tapi masa training, instructor pesan kat aku jangan potong rambut. Sebabnya, rambut aku ikal/kerinting. So kalau aku potong pendek, berjam jam lah aku kena blow dry rambut sebelum pegi keje. Rebonding lak buat rambut keras kejung -- yuck.
So aku tak ada option lain selain biarkan je rambut aku panjang.

Tapi boring la bila tak boleh tuka hairstyle. So.. aku pun kaler rambut. Dah start ada uban dah pun, so aku tahan je la bau busuk chemicals nih.
Tapi sungguh aku tak gemar rambut karat! Dah Asian tu buat lah gaya Asian kan? (Tapi aku admit, some people looks better with rambut karat..) Plus, kalau rambut karat tu tak maintain, rupanya hodoh beno!
So, kaler coklat je lah rambut aku.. senang. Takde lah kene retouch selalu sangat.

Kenapa aku buang masa korang dengan cerita pasal benda ni?
Sebab aku baru je kaler rambut aku lagi sat tadi. hahahha! And tadi pegi Sephora aku beli nail patch; stickers untuk kuku yang rupa macam aku actually kaler kuku aku.
Muahahahahha! Suka aku ada menda alah camni.

Dua tiga hari ni orang asyik tego aku nampak berisi. Benci! Berat badan masih sama kot, so tell me cemana tetiba boleh nampak berisi lak!
Siap kelmarin buat tiga sectors aku langsung tak makan tak minum lagi! Gila! (Gila mengingatkan aku minum pun tak gara gara tertekan dengan flight.)

Ughh somebody shoot me already.
Aku rasa cam bimbo sangat bercerita pasal benda benda tak berkhasiat nih.
I may excuse myself from blogging in the coming days. Konon nak isi masa lapang dengan hobi -- selain daripada merepek kat sini.

Take care, people!

Nak balekk!!

Aku rasa ni macam 5-days trip paling panjang aku pernah rasa!
Set okay, leading pun okay.. Tapi takat "okay" je la.. Comfortable, tapi tak gila. Entah lah, aku prefer keje ngan orang gila kot. Boring bila pusing pusing, asyik orang lain je yang kata aku 'kartun'. mmph..
Aku salahkan Puyen ngan Kak Ngah sebab "train" aku jadi camni. Isyk.

Esok balek KL. Aku rindu katil. Aku rindu masakan Encem. Dia dah lama tak masak. Aku rindu home-cooked meal. Tapi aku tak mungkin akan mintak dia masak. So.. cemana?

Sepanjang empat hari lepas leading dok maintain position. Empat hari aku keje depan. Wahh! Dedicated Crew kah akuu??
Aku expect dia akan swap position tapi asyik maintain je pulak. Aku faham la dia taruk stewardess paling senior kat blakang since our only steward baru fly empat bulan.. Tapi perlu ke maintain AKU kat depan? Tetiba aku rindu tuang jus dari jug. Hahahhahhaha. Bongok kan?

Soalan; aku ni rupa "easy" kee?
Haritu aku ter-tak sengaja join set lain tengok wayang. Ada tiga cabin crew dengan sorang co-pilot. Kebetulan tersempak kat lobby, and diorang ada satu tiket extra untuk Fast5. Aku pun join je lah alang alang aku pun tak tengok lagi.

Dalam cinema aku duk sebelah co-pilot sebab esoknya tu aku fly ngan dia. Konon konon sesi beramah mesra lah..
Tapi dia over mesra kot.
Dalam cinema tu sebok menyendeng kat aku. Ewah! Kalau nak bercakap, lean over sekejap pastu lean away lah kan to your normal position. Tapi ni tak, menyendenngg.

At one point aku terasa la tangan dia kat tepi aku. I gave him a benefit of a doubt la kan, dia big built so maybe he needed that space. So aku pun ketepi la lagi sikit.. Then tak lama lepas tu aku terasa tangan dia gerak gerak lak.. Aku taknak buruk sangka, so fikir maybe tangan dia lenguh kena flex sikit jari jemari dia tu.
Aku ketepi lagi sampai aku dah takde space lagi. (By the way, selama benda ni jadi aku tak acknowledge pun aku rasa tangan dia.. movements aku memang ala ala natural je.)

Skali aku terasa lagi tangan dia.. Dah motion mengusap pulak daahhhhh. Setan betul! So aku pun buat keputusan untuk acknowledge tangan dia. Aku buat sharp move and pandang tangan dia.
Co-pilot: "eh, sorry.."
Masa aku ternampak tangan dia tu.. Entahlah, aku tak tau cemana nak describe rupa bentuk ataupun lokasi tangan dia tu, tapi dengan sepantas kilat aku terbayangkan betapa bestnya kalau aku ada gunting besa yang gardener selalu pakai tu.
Kalau korang tersempak aku ke, kau tanya la aku cemana gaya dia usap usap tu, nanti aku demo kat korang and see if you'd enjoy a stranger doing that to you.

Anyway, aku malas nak buat scene so aku buat bodo je la after that since dia dah tak buat lagi dah.
Lepas movie dia ajak join dinner lak, so of course lah aku ADA benda nak carik/beli kannn.. I told them to go ahead je. Bila dia tanya nombo bilik aku, aku buat buat lupa..
Sama macam time aku buat buat lupa bila ada orang surau tanya Bestie tinggal kat mana. Hahhahahaha!!

Aku rasa kalau aku ada mutant power, mungkin 'buat buat lupa' adalah power aku. And aku tau, muka aku muka "innocent". Kalau aku bitchy pun orang ingat aku memain. And diorang tak caya aku smoker selagi tak nampak asap kepul kepul kuar dari mulut aku.
Aku terer buat muka innocent/blur/comel.. Jangan jealous plis. Kikkikiki

Oh well, aku bersyukur sangat kengkawan aku yang co-pilot semuanya senonoh. (Or they wouldn't be my friends in the first place!) Kalau aku denga cerita pasal diorang, aku hampuk diorang cukup cukup sampai diorang dah bukan kawan aku dah!

Tak sabanyeee la aku nak balek umah. Tak saba tak sabaaa!!!
Tak saba nak cuti gak sebab kaki aku hodoh gila, keje 9 hari dalam masa dua minggu. Ughhh!

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S07E22

I always said I'd be happier alone
I'd have my work, my friends
but someone in your life all the time?
More trouble than its worth.

Apparently I got over it.



There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.
It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone.
It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart I might not make it.
It's easier to be alone
because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it,
what if you like it and lean on it,
what if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart,
can you even survive that kind of pain?

Losing love is like organ damage.
It's like dying.
The only difference is death ends,
this... it could go on forever.


mm.. Thank you "Mer" for putting my feelings into words.

I've always feared a slow death. I personally prefer a quick one. You could say that I welcome an accident over cancer any day. Deteriorating just doesn't bode with me. (Hence my biggest fear remains losing my sanity, still.)

The same principle applies to my feelings on relationship.
If it must end, make it quick so I wouldn't die slowly from heartache.
But I suppose it's not possible to avoid heartaches when a relationship ends.

What about losing love though?
What if it was your one true love?
That one true connection that you shared with someone who wasn't obligated to love you in the first place?
Oh sigh.. don't let me think about this or I'll just start bawling uncontrollably.

Catch and release.

My bed has arrived!
Then in true spoilt-mode (not my fault), Dida got me a Jean Perry 428-thread count quilt set. Bahahhahaha! Thank youuuuu!
Perhaps one day I'll get myself a Cannon bedding. It's amazing to think that I grew up with Cannon bedsheets. They're bloody expensive but oh-so-comfy!
I suppose I have Papa to thank for teaching us to splurge on things that won't make us feel guilty. (Really, why would you feel bad when you get a good night's sleep?)

I feel good about the bed. But it feels awkward to sleep in a different room now. I used to sleep in the small room because.. well, I didn't need a big room. Then the bigger room unintentionally became somewhat of a store room, so now I feel like I'm sleeping in a new bed.. in the store room.
It's weird.
Especially since I haven't reorganized my things that I simply relocated some of my mess to the used-to-be bedroom. I don't know if you can imagine it but basically I now have two 'store rooms' with beds in them.

So today's my second day off. I'm bored. Like really bored! But I couldn't bring myself to go out thinking that I'll be on a five days trip starting tomorrow. Plus, I'm trying to control my shopping spree.
I'd like to think that there is nothing more that I could buy at the time being. I've got plenty of Moleskine stuff, I've already got myself a bed, a couple books left to read, enough bras and panties to last me until my next laundry day..
I just don't want to tempt myself into getting unnecessary things.
Especially when I haven't really de-clutter my rooms. ick!

I wish I was a domestic goddess..

Heartbreak.

There comes a point in life.. when all you feel like doing is to hurt the one you (supposedly) love.

I can't think of anyone who is more miserable than I am.
Why do I cry so much?
I've got to work in three hours, damnit!!

I'm tired..
I am honestly tired.

I have nothing more to say.. let alone nice things.

Can't this week just be over already?


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Smoking's bad for the health.

Especially when you're stuck in a smoke-free hotel; where you get penalized if you get caught smoking. sigh.
I went downstairs at one in the morning. I don't think I'd like to go again. This bloody hotel is eerily quiet. I hate it! Imaginations running wild.
Very bad for the health.

Anyway, I may quit smoking sooner than later.
Or at least I am limiting myself to two cartons a month. (please ignore that bit where I just confessed to having more than twenty boxes of cigarettes a month..)

I went out by myself today.
And I didn't buy a single thing for myself -- at all!
Well, I tried.. but I couldn't seem to use my debit card at the store.. and none of the ATM around could read my card. (I tried on about five or six ATMs; from different banks!) That was tiring.
And embarrassing considering the bunch of stuff that I'd left at the cashier with a promise that I would be back!
Hahahahahhahahah!!

sigh.
I know that sounds kinda pathetic, but in my defense I did try my best to get some more cash! It's frustrating really. This is my first time ever not having "enough cash" to get the things that I'd planned on getting.
But I suppose it wasn't really "planned" per se. But still!
Oh I need to laugh about this.
Padan muka.

I was the one that said to myself that I won't spend excessively. So.. I think.. this is God's way of not letting me to.
Bahahahhahaha!!

Ever notice that whenever something funny happened to me, it was somehow the works of a Higher Power? Hahahahhaha!!

Oh well.. can't wait to get home. I hate the idea of being in Taipei and not be able to shop. pshh!
Busy-phase of my roster is making me feel unwell. This sucks.

Weekend Getaway.

Perhaps all I needed was just that.

Currently in Swiss-Garden Damai Laut, Lumut with Dida.
Kat mana Lumut? Bukak ler atlas.. Tapi sebab zaman ni dah canggih, pegi la carik kat Google Maps.

I went to a spa for the first time today. I felt violated. I don't think I'll ever get used to having a stranger rubbing around my boobs and gluteous maximus.. with oil even!
I couldn't keep my thoughts away from the fact that they must've seen all kinds of boobs; big ones, shy ones.. Saggy ones.. Bahahahha!!

I'm missing my Monkey at the moment. (Yes, I know that it's only days ago when I went all mad-cow and say that I don't care about him.)
Perhaps it's just my Sagi nature.. Too much of anything makes one weary. Perhaps I was just sick having him around too much. Hahahhahaha!!

I'm a horrible girlfriend, honestly. A kitty cat one moment and a lioness the next.

Honestly, everyone should commend on Monkey for his patience to deal with me practically 24/7. I always wonder what he sees in me.
Perhaps he's just nuts.

The other day I was gushing about a particular supervisor to him. Heehee. Poor him having to listen about some other guy's hair and body. Bahahahah!!

I miss having a long vacay.
I'll be off to TPE on Tuesday. I'm excited, but I kinda wanted a vacation more. I like TPE. For whatever reason, I felt safe there. Even with the language barrier! -- it could turn funny sometimes.

Flights had been okay.
I managed to hang out with Julie, Debzie and Kidjie while I was in Manila. Funny to think that I had known them through the internet -- Facebook, specifically.

It was.. what, THREE years ago (almost four) when we were playing the same game on Facebook.
Amazing to think that we all (seventeen of us) still 'talk' to each other. I am not crazy about USA, but if I ever land there, I must must MUST call some people up. Heehee.

I had fun in Manila by the way. Did nothing extravagant but I enjoyed the company.

On my most recent flight, I had this lady that was on my to-AND-fro REP flight.
Apakahhhh?!!
Once I had a guy that was on a KUA return flight because he had wanted to give something to a relative there. Pretty determined, wouldn't you say?
So I asked this lady why was she on the return flight..

Apparently she had wanted to collect the mile-points to upgrade herself to Enrich Gold. Just that!
APAKAH?!!! Gila banyak duit kau.. And takde keje ke???
Then while in transit at REP I talked to her some more at the smoking lounge. She saw what I was smoking then commented, "good".
Eehhh?
She also mentioned that she's flying to Zurich in two days -- for work this time. So I had to ask what she does for a living.

"I work for Phillip-Morris"

HAHHAHAHAHAHHA!! No wonder lah that comment..

Anyway, I love passengers with amusing quirks.
When people asked me if I enjoy flying, these sort of people that'd make me say "yes".

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Lagu hit MCR tahun 2007.

I honestly can't recall how to be happy anymore.
I am not PMSing.
I am simply pissed-off 24/7.
Everything that anyone says or does are simply dull and unimportant. And I know that I don't sound too smart either.. surely.
I want to die.
I really do.
This is really.. just too boring to handle.
pfffffffft!!
I know what I'm about to say is going to sound wrong (even after when I said that I wanted to die) but I kinda wish for a heart attack at this very second. Seems fitting with the ache in my chest anyway. You know.. while I'm aching, might as well just have a heart attack.
You are welcomed to ignore my twisted logic by the way.

I'm sick of things not going my way.
I'm sick of feeling like I messed up when it's someone else's screw up.
I'm tired of growing up.. or growing old.
I'm plain fed up with being responsible.. or feeling like the only person that cares.. about anything. I want a freakin' lobotomy.
My head feels heavy.
Perhaps I'll die of a stroke.
That seems pretty fitting too.

I'm pretty sure that if I commit suicide that you'll find my note in this blog. Really.
Hmmm.. does that sound too morbid?
Well, I am morbid. Just because I haven't written anything of the likes in a while, doesn't mean that I've changed.

I don't think love will ever change me.
If I were a Beast, no amount of love would turn me into a beautiful princess -- no matter how I wish it would.
If I were a Frog, no kiss would turn me back into human form -- no matter how I hope it would.

I feel like a witch that had tricked the world to believe that she was a beautiful maiden with a spell.
And now this witch is too tired to keep up with that spell.

*mood lembu menggila*

Encem balik kampung.
Dalam masa 48-jam;
Jumlah pesanan ringkas yang dia hantar: LAPAN baris.
Jumlah masa dia telefon: KOSONG saat.

Is this really what I want?
An average of about five words every six hours??
Mungkin tidak.

Kadang kadang aku tak tau apa yang aku tengah buat skarang ni.
Ada hari aku tetiba terasa.. entah.. Blur. Am I going anywhere with this?
Perasaan "sia-sia" yang tak dapat dibendung.

Mungkin aku ni ala ala perfectionist kot. Ataupun kepala aku dah jauh diawangan. Berangan for the ideal boyfriend or a perfect relationship.

Aku rasa aku dah tahap kritikal sebenarnya.
Dulu aku rajin nak cuci pinggan, skarang aku fed up. Pandai pakai, pandai cuci la kan? Aku pun letih gak balek keje! Apa beza kau ngan aku kalau keje sama profession?
Kalau aku boleh tinggalkan rumah kemas, sampah terbuang so kau tak balik greeted by some foul smell.. kenapa kau takleh tolong aku buat benda yang sama?
Naaak jugak perap sampah basah dua tiga hari. Pastu komplen pasal menatang terbang terbang. hisy!
Aku tau la aku kuat sepah barang. Tapi barang ngan sampah lain kot!

Aku kata aku tak suka bercakap bila aku takde benda elok nak cakap.. tapi like I said, aku dah tahap kritikal.
Ada hari aku sakit hati sangat, dalam otak aku, aku tumbuk si Encem.
Aku sakit hati sebab dia buat macam aku hegeh hegeh gila kat dia!

Ego aku dah datang balik.
So pasal phone calls. Meh aku explain; kalau dulu, aku memang terasa bila dia tak message. Tapi the phone works both ways kan.. so aku lah yang akan message dulu.
Tapi takkan sampai bila bila pun aku kan??
*hegeh hegeh*
Tak kuasa la aku nak menggedik. Daripada menggedik baik aku marah je.

Aku marah. Aku sedih. Aku nak nangis.
Tapi apa aku dapat? Mata bengkak. Pastu nanti dia balik, happy je... as if nothing happened sedangkan aku kat sini terseksa jiwa batin.
Fed up la camni.
Aku pun nak happy, careless and free. Tapi aku takleh sampai ke tahap ignorant.

Sungguh aku dah takde mood nak menjaga hati.
Kau nak pancake, spaghetti, lasagna, cookies.. buat sendiri je. Kalau aku ter-rajin aku buat la. Tapi sungguh aku tak kuasa.
Aku tak suruh pun kau masak. All I ever wanted was a bit of your time and a conversation once in a while.. Susah sangat nak dapat!

FED UPPPPP!!

So, wahai Encem.. kalau lah terbaca entry ni.. awak buat la apa apa awak nak ye. Balik kampung hari hari pun boleh. Kawan ajak kuar? Silakan silakan..
For a while dah saya terasa macam kain lap kaki. Adeee je kat situ, bila awak nak pakai awak datang lah.

I shall master the art of not-caring soon enough.

Wassalam..

I'm just upset.
I'm not better than anyone. I don't have the rights to nag.
Forget I said anything.

Perihal kewangan..

Growing up not having much money to spend gives me a sense of not needing money to be happy.
**I had a happy childhood. Ignorance, innocence and fickle-mindedness did me good back then.

I was spoilt, but never on material things. My toys were hand-me-downs.
**Mostly because I always end up breaking them. Although I might have appreciated them more and took care of them had they been my own.. We'll never know.
I don't remember having a birthday party unless it's a shared one.
**So happens that a lot of my cousins, uncle/aunt were born in December. Dida too. We had a few of shared birthdays get-together.

So when I had my first job (sales girl at Kinokuniya in '06) I always say that I don't NEED to work. I don't NEED the money. I was fine just getting by. As long as I have enough to feed me, clothe me and ink in my pen, I'm happy.
Of course at this time I did have just enough money to keep me "happy".
People thought I was a rich spoilt kid who got a job as a hobby. Sure, saying my philosophical ideas out loud would make one think that I was from a wealthy background. Plus the fact that I'd spend more than RM200 on transportation alone each month to get to work when my pay was barely RM700.

And comes the Eid, I'd get some extra cash to spend frivolously.
An act of frivolity once a year really was fine by me. I didn't look like I was homeless, and somehow I managed to sit at the second row of James Morrison's show in '07. (Man I miss that guy..)

Anyway, fast forward to '09.. I started making more-than-enough money. Then somehow it feels like I need even more to keep me "happy".
Suddenly my goals became materialistic. Money oriented. "That Moleskine will make my collection complete", "if I have a pair of Louboutin's, I'll die happy", "that camera will satisfy me."

What happened really?
What happened to my philosophical values? Had it died with my dreams of writing? I feel ashamed when Encem calls me a writer. Or when he said that I could be a full-time writer if I quit my job. I am no wordsmith.
I am not even a world-traveller.
All I feel is like... A cabin crew.

Nothing wrong with that I suppose. I am honest at my job -- most of the time anyway. My smiles were sincere, or I wouldn't have smiled in the first place. I rarely ever lied; you could see the annoyance on my face when a passenger asked me to repeat the choice of meal for the third time. (ha ha!)
And I love it when I connected with a stranger.

But I always thought that there were something more. That all these connections and the places I've seen would bring me a sense of completion.
I don't feel a tad wiser from these.

Money ruined me.
Instead of enabling me to enjoy my life as it deserves to be enjoyed, money had just given me an excuse to hoard things that clutters the house.

And now I want a credit card.

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Kisah standby.

Sambung balik pasal cerita tukar kerja haritu. (Read: minggu lepas lepas kot!)

Alkisahnya, disebabkan ramai ORANG LAIN tukar keje, sesiapa yang on standby bulan lepas for sure kena call up! Encem standby tiga hari, tiga hari lah dia kena call. Mami standby kene call up. Aku standby tiga hari, first day dapat daily flight, second day dapat nightstop JHB.
JHB ye, bukan JNB.
Bahahhahaha!! HARAPAN!

Letih kot.
Aku tak suka standby. Kena kacau time tengah sedap tido.
Dengarnya bulan ni pun ada lagi bebudak akan berhenti for the greener grass on the other side.
Whatever floats their boats lah.

Time aku emosi tak stabil ni aku terasa la nak lari jauh jauh. Tapi seriously, all I need is to grow up.

I have nothing much to say really.
I don't like to say much when I have nothing nice to say.. That's how I carry myself most of the time anyway.

Later alligator!

No news is good news..

Isn't it?

I'm PMSing.
Bloody mood swings (Encem can vouch for that!), I'm feeling sluggish, and my breasts definitely feels fuller. (Can Encem vouch for that too? hmm..)

Honestly I have nothing much to ramble about.
Flights had been uneventful. My legs are ugly again (they were smooth and supple earlier of the month; when I hadn't been flying so much.)
I'd spent the day driving around the Klang Valley with Papa..
Really, nothing much.
Not a single profound thought to share.

It's not even May yet and my account's depleting.
Bestie bought a new phone with his bonus money. And I?
I bought a BED! heehee. Been talking about getting a new bed for yonks, so I better get it now when I'm supposedly can. It should arrive in two weeks time though. Apparently the factory is in Johor.. but I don't mind.
Gives me time to decluttler (that's an understatement!) the room. The room's a mess really. It looks exactly like it was in the middle of a hurricane.

That's it for now.
Catch ya' later alligator!

Highlights of the Week.

1. During my three days trip, one of the stewards confessed to liking Justin Bieber. He claims to be straight. (bahahhaha!!) And then corrected his previous statement to, "liking his songs, not the person himself."

2. I came home one day finding Bestie chilling in front of the telly watching some DVD; then he told Encem to tell me who was on his flight that day. But Bestie ended up being the one who told me that Justin Bieber was on Encem's flight.

3. I went to Jakarta with a pretty friendly steward.. whom was pretty much hit by the Bieber-Fever because he kept singing to his songs even though he didn't know all the words.
We were both looking at the papers at one point and he showed me the picture of the girls that waited for Bieber at the airport. Of course he was a no-show; he got onto Encem's flight.. to Langkawi!

4. Bieber performed in KL the night I was in Jakarta.

5. On the way to the Soekarno-Hatta airport, I saw a man pooping by the ditch with a ciggy in one hand and a magazine in the other. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

6. A friend in my BBM-list updated his status to, "Justin Bieber dalam flight aku, KAUHADO??"

7. There was a big crowd outside the aircraft we were taking over..
Oh, guess who was on THAT flight from KL?
BIEBER, of course!

8. Oh, Selena Gomez was by his side.

9. PAYDAYY!!! On the 22nd! My balance no longer says RM48.52! Wooot~!

10. Came home and found that my Soft Cover Moleskine has arrived! Yayyzz!!

And now I just hope that Encem won't get called up so we get to spend our well-earned money later..

Current obsession: Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars

Apa nama kau eh?

Lagi sekali aku lupa nama orang.. (Tech crew lagi la pulak kan, nampak sangat tak penting! Bahahahha!)
Jumpa kat smoking lounge, skali dia paxing flight aku.. Nasib baiklah ada Passenger Information List! kikikki..
Pastu disebabkan aku sorang stewardess pompuan dalam flight, leading aku maintain aku keje depan untuk trip kali ni.. Dan disebabkan member kan, (walaupun tak ingat nama asalnya) aku pun bilang la sama si FO untuk tak payah mengada nak makan dalam aircraft sedangkan dah janji nak keluar makan sama kat Kuching..
Muahahaha!! Aku memang buat suka hati aku..

Sang Hanjeng agak behave dalam trip ni. Dia maseh tak boleh nak cakap ngan orang elok elok. Haritu dia dengan leading cerita pasal bebudak yang baru join. Aku mengaku, ada cerita diorang yang aku tumpang gelak.. Tapi aku lagi banyak malu sebenarnye. Aku tak suka nak dengar. Pastu Sang Hanjeng boleh lak mention kat leading (aku pun ada la sekali time tu) yang kitorang penah gaduh dulu, tapi AKU dah OKAY "kot"..
1. Aku maseh aku.. Kau maseh hanjeng.
2. Perlu ke kau cerita kat leading?? Kaki repot kan kau? Pastu kau nak komplen kat orang bila ada budak 'take note' nama kau.. Kalau kau tak suka orang bercerita pasal kau, kau pun sila lah shaddap!
3. "Okay" kau kata.. Ahaa.. Itu sebab kau keje kat belakang, aku kat depan.. Kalau hari hari keje sama, aku tak konfiden yang kau akan kata aku "okay".
Btw, BC1.. Everyday kau tak spray cabin ye. And bila aku tolong spray, ada kau kata "thank you"?? Courtesy my ass la hanj!
Muka kau sampai ke tua aku tak lupa kot.. Rasa nak baling barang je.

Moving on, tadi bebudak ni sebok nak suruh aku lepak lama lama. Sungguh aku tak suka nak duduk buat bodo while orang lain minum. Kalau gi club, aku tak menari.. Nak borak, bising! So apa aktiviti aku? Merokok lah sampai dada nak pecah, thanks!
Aku tak suka bila orang pelawa melepak, diorang akan respon, "kenape, takut boyfren tau ke?" Ataupun, "tak boleh keluar ke? Nanti kena marah ye.." APAKAH??

Or bila aku bagitau orang team bola aku, diorang akan tanya, "kenape? Ikut boyfren eh?" WTH?!! Kalau aku ikut boyfren aku, dia sokong Chelsea hokey.. YUCK!!
Tolonglah lelaki sekalian.. Tak terlintas ke kat kepala korang yang bila perempuan cakap sesuatu, diorang memang maksudkan apa yang diorang cakap??

Bila aku taknak keluar ngan korang, maknanye aku tak suka nak melepak ngan korang. Kang aku cakap terang terang kang.. Cuba la lepak gaya sehat sikit, mau la aku ikut.
And aku sokong Man United since 1996 ye.. Time aku tak penah ada boyfren, time aku tak pandai flirt, time budak laki takut ngan aku sebab aku garang, time aku kuar umah pakai cap, tak ada skirt dalam almari, time Beckham rambut pendek dan maseh rupa budak baik.

Dah ramai orang aku jumpa, semua laki pusing pusing sama je.. "Janganla marah.." @*#&%
Semua laki kecuali Encem.. (Sama je actually, tapi aku nak buat sedap hati sendiri sikit.) Itu lagi satu hal lak, tiga hari trip, hanta dua je text, call sekali tak sampai seminit. Bongok!

Roster bulan depan dah kuar.. Whee! Bulan depan start ada nightstop kat Manila.. And.. aku ada Manila!!! Yayyy!! Finally, someplace new to see! Excited! heehee

Okaylah, nak tido. Tadi dah ready nak tido skali roster kuar lak. Aisyy..
Gudnite!

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Annual Ritual.

Haritu memang harapan lah aku nak gi jogging kan..
Bestie pun tak bangun agaknya..

Anyway, weekend lepas memang weekend yang best untuk aku. Entah lah.. rasa macam dah lama kot aku tak rasa "puas".. contented with life, walaupun untuk sekejap.
Sabtu aku spend dengan kawan kawan rapat aku.. Ahad lak aku ber-ritual ngan Dida, and siap singgah umah Kina kat Seremban lagi. Quality time with my favourite people. *Like*

Oh, ritual yang aku maksudkan ialah pegi tengok F1..
Boleh kata every year jugak la kitorang pegi. Tahun yang kitorang tak pergi adalah tahun Dida kat Europe.. or kitorang dua dua kat Europe. Ada lagi satu kot yang kitorang tak pegi tapi aku tak ingat kenapa.

ps: kalau korang pegi F1 bila bila.. makan/minum kat situ bapak mahal! So make sure korang dah makan dan minum sebelum masuk, diorang akan check bag. Tapi bila race dah habis, haa.. berbelanja lah puas puas! Gambar CBTL Ready To Drink tu; kitorang beli dengan harga "two for 5 Ringgit!" Bapak murah!

Seminggu aku tak update blog rupanye..
Tak ada masa. Roster tengah packed. Lepas weekend lepas aku ada 3-days trip, pastu single nightstop. Ni lepas weekend ni pun sama; 3-days trip then single nightstop. Paling best, aku tengok master roster pastu find out yang trip kali ni aku akan fly ngan Sang Hanjeng. Jadi rakan rakan, tolonglah doakan kesihatan dan keselamatan aku untuk hari Isnin sampai Rabu ni ye. Aku sangat sangat hargai/perlukannya.

Aku bukan apa, aku ni jenis kalau orang carik pasal ngan aku, aku carik pasal balik. Orang treat aku baik, aku baiklah ngan dia. Orang treat aku kurang ajar, patut ke aku nak treat baik?? Tak kan? Gila kau!
Memanjang la aku silent review gamaknye.
Aku tak macam si Kera yang boleh marah diam diam.. Bila berdepan dengan orang tu, dia boleh berlakon mesra. Dia lagi sesuai jadi cabin crew actually. Aku ni terlalu beremosi.

Anyway, dalam seminggu ni banyak menda kot jadi.
Haritu aku komplen dah lama tak tersempak ngan Mami time nightstop; bulan ni sampai dua kali aku jumpa dia kat Kuching! *Like!*

And Rabu lepas, genaplah dua tahun aku join kompeni.. Bond dah habes! yayy! Lepas ni kalau aku nak carik keje lain, aku tak kene baya pape..
Dida haritu suruh aku try kompeni lain, aku tak tau nak cakap apa.. Actually, logically memang aku patut try tukar angin. Fakta fakta depan mata menunjukkan bahawa tak salah untuk aku tukar angin..
Tapi entah lah.. Aku tak boleh nak pegi mana mana tanpa rasa macam aku sebenarnya melarikan diri and buat masa ni, memang aku tak rasa nak lari kemana mana.. err.. Make sense ke?

Moleskine dah kuar products baru lak dah.. Tertekan aku. Gaji masuk lagi 9 hari, duit dalam bank tinggal RM 100! Selalunya aku tak ada laa boros macam ni. Gara gara tukar specs/contacts baru la nih.. Memang ler aku sendiri ada belanja kat benda yang aku tak perlu beli, tapi sebab specs and contacts, gedebushh RM 300..
Apa lagi aku beli bulan ni eh?

Okay lah, aku tak tau dah apa nak update kat korang. Dah laa entah kenapa rasa mengantuuk je ni. Maybe sebab sepanjang harini hujan/mendung kot! So dah alang alang, baik aku tido je terus kan? Kalau tak, tak sudah aku komplen pasal takleh tido..

Mumu tunang!

Aku rasa kitorang yang pergi tunang si Mumu macam.. err.. konfius kot. Aku honestly asyik kena ingatkan diri sendiri yang "Mumu tunang.. Mumu tunang.. Mumu tunang.." sebab kalau tak, aku automatic terfikir Mumu kawen!! hahahahha!
Ye lah kan, biase orang tunang mana ada jemput kawan.. Or even pasang khemah depan rumah.. Kan? Aku pun tak ingat lah cemana Kina tunang dulu.
Tapi aku agak pasti time Kina tunang tak ada "ala-ala pelamin"! Sebab kat umah Mumu tadi ada "ala-ala pelamin"! hahaha! Aku panggil "ala-ala pelamin" sebab dia memang pelamin.. tapi pelamin for one, boleh? Macam boleh je bersanding kat situ tapi sorang je lah! kikkiki!
Sungguh aku asyik konfius tadi.

Congrats Mumu! Dah one step closer jadi.. err.. Jadi apa eh?
Tak aci nih.. Mumu kenal bakal laki dia lagi lambat dari aku kenal Encem tapi dia dah tunang dulu.. hmmm.. Jeles ke mek? *tanya diri sendiri*
Sikit kot.. Sikiiiit je.. Sebabnya, aku suka cincin! Nak cincin pliss!! HAHAHAHAHHA! Dalam banyak banyak aksesori pompuan, aku memang suka cincin kot.

Anyway, tadi kitorang konvoi berenam. Aku suka bila dapat can melepak ngan kengkawan rapat aku from training. Sempat nak debate ngan si Adi lagi..
Bestie suka cakap aku Ted Mosby sekarang. Ted Mosby; character from How I Met Your Mother. Kalau korang tak tahu, aku ni jenis suka betulkan grammar orang. Sorry kawan kawan; kalau kau Superman and kau ternampak kawan kau nak kena langgar ngan lori, korang mesti lah akan try selamatkan, kannn?? hahahha!
Kalau aku dah tau, tak ke lebih afdhal kalau aku tolong betulkan? Aku rasa responsible kot.. aku tak tau cemana nak explain. Aku tau annoying bila ada orang betulkan grammar kau, tapi aku rasa lagi teruk kalau aku biarkan..
Tapi disebabkan aku asyik dipanggil Ted Mosby, (Luqqy pun ada mention kot aritu..) aku akan cuba untuk abaikan bad grammar korang semua. WAHHAHAHAHHA!!
I am such a snooty, deal with it!

Melepak kat umah Mumu tadi tak lama kot. Duduk, lepak, makan, amek gamba, salam parents Mumu.. (Mumu.. awak cerita apa kat ayah awak? Cemana dia tau nama sayaa??) pastu dah.. kitorang (except Adi) pegi jalan kat Pyramid pulak. End up melepak kat Starbucks sampai dekat pukul sebelas! Gilo!
Lama gila kitorang lepak borak tadi! Borak pasal apa, aku pon tak tau lah.. Cepat je masa berjalan.

#crewlife!
Haritu aku buat flight MLE keje kat depan.. Passenger profile: CINA MAINLAND!!
aiyakk!! Longgar lutut aku bila berdepan dengan satu group diorang ni. Nak landing baru nak mintak teh. chet! Aku pulak automatic la explain dah nak landing, so aku takleh buatkan air untuk dia.. kalau nak air mineral aku kasi la..
--"HUHH?"
Adohaiii....
Ulang lah balek explanation yang panjang lebar kat dia.. benefit of a doubt lah, maybe aku cakap laju sangat kooot.. or maybe dia kurang dengar apa aku cakap, so kali ni aku tunduk lebih sikit bila cakap kat dia..
--"OK water water.."

Honestly aku tak tau mana lagi teruk; orang tak paham bahasa ataupun orang perasan terer.. (I-yem-a-lawyerr!)
Ada aku kesah kau lawyer ke doktor?
Kalau kau hebat, kenapa kau tak terbangkan kapal sendiri? wekkk!
Tengok macam John Travolta.. aku rasa dia tak perlu pun cakap kat orang "I'm an actor!" tapi rilek je ada kapal terbang kat belakang umah.

Okay, aku dah menyimpang.
Nak kene tido dalam masa terdekat nih. Kononnye nak jogging pagi nanti -- kalau ikut plan, dalam masa dua jam je lagi! kikikiki!

To be in your plan..

Never lose sight of your dreams, because your dreams will be the goals that shape your life, the taste and the smell that that makes you want to get up and discover each new morning.
Soon you'll encounter love.. When the time comes, share that with someone who will love you, too. When you share a dream -- that's when it flowers. Solitude is a garden where the flowers have no scent, and the spirit withers.
Love is wonderful. Remember, you have to give to receive; and you have to be true to yourself if you are to love someone truly.

Just Like Heaven, Mark Levy

I saw the movie when it came out.
Only recently had I finally read the book.
It feels.. a bit odd. The book and the film are very different from one another! I suppose the adaptation was easier than trying to film the book verbatim. The movie was also.. lighter, than the actual words.

Off days..
Seems like I've been catching up on my reads lately. So much so that I had to get out and get a new book last Monday -- yet another Paulo Coelho. I think I've decided to get all of his books. Just before picking up Just Like Heaven, I was reading Cecelia Ahern's The Book Of Tomorrow. I didn't like it. I mean, it wasn't bad.. Just that I felt nothing for it. It didn't make me cry.. I have nothing to quote from it.. It's just wasn't as special as her previous works..
That's what I think anyway. You should go pick up that book and read it yourself.

Encem is away again. So all I've been doing is laze, read a book, watch some DVDs.. I'm hating it.
I was watching Blue Valentine and I couldn't help but feel so confused over it. I really can't figure out what went wrong between the two main characters. I can't figure out how two people that loves each other can be so wrong sometimes.

Anyway, my mind is so jumbled up right now.
Suppose I could try and sleep it off..

My favourite Sengals.

Some time ago, in my earlier days in the airline, I had the privilege of flying with two seniors. We did a four-days trip, and I have to say it was the most memorable trip I've had.

Usually when flying with seniors, you can't help but feel a bit reserved.. Knowing that you'll be judged by the way you work.. behave..
But I was blessed.. Those two seniors were serious CLOWNS!

The supervisor had maintained the senior steward in the galley as he was the only steward in flight, but on the last day, these two seniors pushed me to become the galley steward so I could learn; assuring me that they'll teach me along the way..

So anyway, today my supervisor assigned me as galley steward. I was the most junior of the set. I was nervous as heck. I don't get to be the galley steward that often despite flying for almost two years, honestly. I was really nervous. I'd hate to screw up!

But I turned out quite alright.. I think!
And what's awesome, as we exited the aircraft once we arrived in KUL, I bumped into both of those two seniors that had taught me so much some time ago..
It feels like it's a good morning!
And last night I had spent the night in KCH with Mummy and Max!

Good days..
I love good days..
Anyway, currently I'm in transit, going to do LGK after this.. and I feel blessed. I really love days like these..

Have a good week, dear readers!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

-----

Tak lebih sejam lepas aku post entry ni, aku tersedar aku tertinggal toolkit aku kat aircraft masa first sector. Memang cibai! Sungguh benda paling tak best pasal buat aircraft kecik ni; banyak sector, asyik tukar kapal! So kau memang bound to leave things behind. Aku lak time dah sampai tu sebok nak tukar kasut, kuar isap rokok, langsung lupa toolkit kat side compartment!! grrr
So nampaknye dalam blesses blessed aku ni, sebenarnya you simply win some and you lose some. Best satu part, hanjeng part satu lagi. Benci!

Toolkit aku dahlaa best weii! Gloves, tongs aku cantekk! Ada ice scoop lagi, siap ada torchlight Mama kasi kat aku. aghhhhh!! Memang aku tertekan!
Second time dah ni aku tertinggal toolkit. Third time hilang gloves. Syaitann!!!

Withdrawal.

This happens to me all the time.
After spending so many days/nights with Encem that my whole being is so full of him.. When he has to leave, when he's off to a trip, when he has to work, when reality hits.. It hits hard.
I hate it when he leaves..

He's my choice of drug, and now that he's gone I'm going through withdrawal..
Life goes on with or without him, but I'm usually more restless without him. I hate it. I hate that my thoughts are so full of him!
Like now, I'm wondering if he's eaten.. Wondering how his flight was, if he did anything mischievous in-flight. If something funny happened to him all the while.
I know you guys would get a kick from his stories had he blogged. He always has something amusing to tell about everything. Bloody Gemini..

Sometimes I'm glad that he has more guy friends than girls. Hahahaha!! (Or maybe he just never tells me about them? Ughh!) I am glad that he's not himself while at work. Sometimes I wonder why he hasn't got any girls falling all over his feet.

Sometimes I feel like he doesn't tell me everything. I really hate that. I hate that he's not all that he seems. Of course, that could possibly be the reason why I'm still so much into him. Apparently it's one of his tricks in keeping my interest, so I won't be bored -- he said so himself.
But still! It annoys.. and scares me a heck lot sometimes!

Anyway, I miss him.
But instead of writing him a note/letter telling him that, I decided to blog about it. I hate how he'd never reply to my little notes, furthermore seeing my notes lying around on the floor like litter. Ughh! I hate that the most!
So I'm sorry dear readers for putting you through my pathetic rants about my perfectly flawed boyfriend.

Ooh he just texted!!!!!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Planned shopping.

Okay, I shall warn you that this is a blabla entry.
I feel like I should write it down somewhere but I don't feel like picking up a pen.

So apparently I love to shop. But I wouldn't consider myself as a shopaholic. Mostly because I usually window-shop.. compare prices (because the things I'm usually interested at are pretty expensive!) and only days, weeks, months later will I finally get the things that I've been eyeing on.
The only things that I won't require any thought when buying would be clothes. And bras and panties. hahahaha!

Then of course I usually have my reasons to buy the things that I buy.
For instance; the Starbucks tumbler that I bought a few months back. It was unnecessary.. expensive.. but I thought; I ALWAYS spend my free time at coffee shops.. and if you bring your own tumbler to Starbucks, they will deduct RM2 from the price of your drink!
So come to think of it.. in about sixty more drinks, I will save RM2 on my future drinks! HAH! Eat that!

(Of course, we are assuming that I will always remember to bring my tumbler.. And assuming that I only drink at Starbucks. But the fact is that I mostly hang out at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. sigh. I saw a tumbler that I liked there the other day. But I stopped myself from getting it since I already have the one by Starbucks. Plus, CBTL doesn't have that "RM2 off if you bring your own tumbler" thing.)
See, sometimes I make rational decisions.
But I do like that CBTL tumbler..
And my CBTL mug is starting to crack..
Perhaps I should get some mugs instead?

Did you know that I once thought of becoming a barista?
Oh but that would be another story for another day...

Do you know that I'm obsessed with Moleskine products?
Started in 2006 while I was part-timing in Kinokuniya. I worked at the stationeries department and customers; foreign ones, would come to me and ask if we had any "mole skin notebooks". Of course at the time I had never heard of a notebook that was made out of mole skin. Sounded rare and expensive. I mean, who would've thought of using moles' skin?? I wondered how WWF was okay with it.

Then I went to Europe.. went into a bookstore and saw them for the first time;
MOLESKINE.
Aaaaah.. so it's a BRAND after all! Dumdumb! I perused one, and decided to get it -- a Plain Large Hardcover. (Of course I'll get a plain one!) Before I left Europe I bought another for stock.. in case I couldn't find one back home.
Of course, by the next time I went to Kinokuniya it was there.. only instead of being by the stationeries, it was upstairs with the arts and design books! Too classy to be with the Japanese notebooks maybe..? hahaha!
But if you go to Kinokuniya these days, I think you'll find Moleskine notebooks by the gift books. At least that's where I found them the last I was there.
(By the way, I've always LOVED notebooks. I have plenty, and most of them are unused! hahahhaha! Talk about unnecessary. Ana bought me a pretty flowery notebook for my birthday once. And Encem bought me a red Moleskine during the earlier months we're together.)

And now back to the shopping topic.
At present I have SIX Moleskines. Two I got from Europe; the one I got from Rotterdam is absolutely old, stained and almost historical with it's rubber band all loose now. The one from Frankfurt is perfectly wrapped in its plastic with the price tag still attached; €13.99 yikes!
Then there's the red one that I mentioned earlier..
A special edition Discovery Channel 2010 journal that Mama gave me; somebody gave it to her boss which then gave to her and then finally got to me whom she knows LOVES to write/doodle/Moleskine. The journal was Ruled though, but what the heck.. A Moleskine is still a Moleskine!
Then I got the Book Journal from the Passions series (I also got Encem the Music Journal at the same time) which I have been putting aside for a while.
And recently I bought the 2011 Calendar which is to me.. ABSOLUTELY unnecessary but I had to have it anyway! hahahahah! I'm terrible like that.

Then a few days ago Kina asked my opinion on Moleskine prices because she's getting the new Baby Journal. So now, my Travel Journal is also on its way with Kina's new buy from Amazon. aaah..

I know since I got my Maybank debit card, I probably spend a lot more. Previously I wouldn't have any chance to buy things online but now it's just too easy!
So I've been thinking of getting the Moleskine Folio Sketchbook A4 or Watercolor A4. I wanted a photo album but I've never been the straight type of person that believes only photo albums should hold photos. (Just like why most of my notebooks are plain and not ruled. The lines makes me not want to doodle.)

But, I've got these.. images in my head on how I wanted the "album" to look like and for that to happen, I gotta have that Polaroid PoGo that I've been thinking about for MONTHS! I still can't afford it. I mean, I CAN, but I won't be all too giddy if I get it. I would worry too much about my savings instead.
And I want to go on more holidays..
I also want to get a new mattress and a bed.. (which I've been wanting since last year!)
And I should finally get my driving license! (Yes folks, I cannot drive!)
My priorities are all jumbled up now.
I spend about 1k on monthly commitments; that's rent, insurance and school loans for school that I did not finish! Wastage, I tell you.

Let me tell you this, being a crew.. you don't make as much money as you thought it would. Not that I joined to make money, but I'm just saying. Funny that I never thought of money or the "glamour" when I joined. I know some people thought of those when they think about cabin crew. Some even join to meet wealthy men or in hopes of marrying the tech crew! Crazy.

So! Planned shopping..
Before I get any more Moleskine, I better get my camera first. Before that happens, I better feel safe with my current savings. For that to happen, I really shouldn't spend any more money at LaSenza -- I think I have enough bras, panties and jammies at the time being. I also have enough shoes; I've replaced my "night-stop" shoes last month (pumps from Charles and Keith), bought a pair of flip-flops for AU$10 while I was at Surfer's Paradise HRC (which I thought was a bargain!) because I only have one other flip-flops that I had since 2006, and that Puma sneakers that I bought two days ago because I envied Encem for buying one. That was unnecessary. Really unnecessary.
No More Unnecessary Spending!!! RAWRR!
Also, no more bags! (Yes, I also bought a new sling bag two days ago.. after thinking about it for a week. So, no regrets there! But still.. no more bags!) Unless one of my handbags caught on fire in some freakish accident or something. hahahha!

Enough blabla..
I'm too tired of writing this to proof-read it. Sorry if I'd used bad grammar at some point. Or if there are typos. Perhaps I'll proof-read it tomorrow.

By the way, if you've never seen a Moleskine before, head to MoleskineAsia.com.

It's a holi-holiday!

Hullo!! It's been a while..
I've got to say that not writing/updating this blog for this long hasn't been easy for me. Even while I was on holiday, I felt the urge to post some sort of entry with my phone. sigh.. But if I actually did, I think it'd defeat the true purpose of my holiday..
Hence, to stop myself from constantly telling you what I was doing, I'd usually left my phone at the chalet.. (Who says I can't live without my phone?)

CHAPTER ONE
Choppy waters.

KL - Kota Besut;
8 FRIGGIN' HOURS!!
I think I have been to Kelantan/Terengganu before, but I guess it never really registered to my brain on how long the journey took since my family and I would usually have pit-stops.. Food, gas, piss, sightsee..
But because Kera's friend was LATE, we had to stay in the car for most part of the journey! I was really moody.. (for other reasons as well, but I'm not going to write about it here..) Then again, I'm also a brat so there really need not be other reasons for me to be moody. heh.

We got to the jetty at almost seven.. the last boat had went out hours ago! But luckily there happened to be an extra boat and we managed to get on that.
The ride.. was MURDER!
I swear my kidneys relocated itself by the time we got to the island.

CHAPTER TWO
Starlit dinner.

My mood picked up by the next day.
The holiday mood finally kicked in. I suppose I should thank Kera for it. I don't know.. It had felt like we finally got some quality time together.
We had dinner by the beach with his friend, had good conversations, and just sat out by the beach looking at the stars. I even managed a glimpse at a shooting star! Just my kind of night, I guess.

I really loved that.

CHAPTER THREE
To the beach!

Funnily, I only got into the water on our third day there..
The weather was good. We fell asleep at a lazy chair by the beach after breakfast. The waters were scary actually. Pretty and clear, but scary. The locals said that it should have been calm by this time of the year but maybe the Earth is just so unstable these days that the weather seems to change.
I thought it was funny seeing the locals surf. I just can't seem to relate surfing as a sport in Malaysia somehow..

Anyway, I got what I looked for from this holiday.
Some relaxation, quality time with the boyfriend.. a slight tan.. haha!
And yeah, some pictures of me jumping by the beach. Aku memang suka lompat lompat macam kanak kanak girang.

I had actually thought of doing a complete rundown of my days in Perhentian but you know what? I'm lazy! hahahahha. I wish I was still on the island.
But the fact is, we went home on Monday (Mahligai bus from Kota Besut to Putra Station, KL; departs at 8+pm.. arrives at 6am on the Tuesday!) got a few hours of shuteye, went to Midvalley to do some (unnecessary) shopping, bumped into Adi and Irina, met up with Bestie and Crystal to watch Battle L.A, and went to work on the Wednesday.
Yesterday.
I was in paradise one day, and back to work the next. gahh!

MUST - GET - MORE - TIME - OFF!!

Blablablah

The more I tell people that I'm not from Sarawak, the more I spend my time there. Next month's roster is out (early!) and I'll be spending FOUR nights in Kuching!
For the first time since my conversion, I wasn't rostered to any Airbus flights; unless you count the one I'll be dead-heading to -- Kuching!

Anyway, I am currently inside the commuter train heading to Kina's office. I honestly can't remember when was the last time I had to ride this damn slow train. Let's just say that at this moment I am thankful for my Blackberry. Without it I will just have to entertain myself in some other way.

I could probably dance around in this coach. Listening to The Strokes just makes me want to move somehow. O yeah, I listen to The Strokes. Not exactly a big fan, but Encem is. I suppose if he isn't I would've only known the band's existence but never really listen to them.

So how have I been spending my off days? Err.. I spent the most of yesterday sleeping. Didn't even shower the whole day, it was AWESOME! Hahahaha! But I needed to get some things done so that's why I'm in the commuter right now. But I like mixing business with pleasure, hence; errands with the bank then lunch with Kina! yayy!

Two more stops..
I wish I am confident enough to actually dance around in this coach. Bahahaha! But all I do is tap my foot, and move my head to the beats a bit. hmm.. Not that I care if people think that I'm crazy, but I myself would be pretty annoyed if I see someone jigs around in the small coach.
Oh well.. *moves head with the beats*

Tomorrow Encem will be back from his five days trip! yayyyz! It'll be a full week since we last saw each other.. sigh.
I miss my monkey!

Have a good week everyone!

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Pulang dari keje..

Alamak.. Saloma cerita pasal time dia interview laa..
Terasa nak join sekali. Boleh?

Okay, kalau korang nak tahu.. aku gi interview dua kali actually.
Sekali tu.. aku ala ala pegi tanpa pengetahuan orang tua aku. So mungkin tak berkat la kan, tu yang tak dapat tu. Or mungkin jugek sebab aku selamba je pegi dengan pakai spek. hahahha! Aku memang suka hati.
Bila interviewer tanya kenapa aku tak datang pakai contacts, aku dengan senyum mesra jawab, "oh, it's a luxury I can't afford at the moment" hahaha! Almaklumlah, aku ni kan menganggur manjang time tu.

Tapi dalam comot comot tu, aku sampai gak la final stage.
Tapi first time interview tu, semua benda dalam satu weekend. Ada empat stage; empat empat stage hari Sabtu dan Ahad tu. Letih tau. Ramai orang! Kau kena tunggu turn bagai..
So by the time fourth stage, memang aku dah tak ada mood nak bercakap. Honestly, aku tengok muka interviewer tu pun buat aku letih. Mana tak nye, langsung tak mesra! MH my ass!

So bila aku dapat email seminggu lepas tu kata aku tak dapat, aku tak ada laa terkejut sangat. Memang fourth stage tu sangat hampehh. Expectable, tapi aku still kecewa. Ade laa macam tak hingin dah try jadi cabin crew. Kalau aku kena reject awal awal lagi, aku senang sikit nak terima. Ni dah sampai final koot.. hmmph!

Anyway, beberapa bulan lepas tu keluar iklan lagi. Time tu aku dah merajuk dah, tapi satu famili aku suruh try lagi. So.. berkat? hihi.
Kali ni interview dia lain sikit. Masa aku datang pagi tu, nampak semua pompuaaan je. Rupanya hari Sabtu tu memang dia interview pompuan saja, laki kena datang hari Ahad.

First stage, sesi suai kenal. Ada tiga orang kompeni, dan enam orang hopefuls. Time ni dia just suruh kau cerita pasal diri kau. Aku cerita benda biasa je la.. asal mana, hobi.. Pastu kebetulan la kan, interviewer sorang hanta anak dia kat skolah Section 9 Shah Alam. Aku pun, alamak! Section 2 ngan Section 9 dulu enemies! Biase la kan, bila ada game bola ke apa.. study-wise pun. Aku pot pet pot pet je la ntah hape merepek time tu. Bila tanya hobi lak aku cerita pasal blogging. Maybe nasib jugak kot, interviewer yang sama tanya aku pasal cemana nak set up blog.
End up memang aku sorang je yang banyak bercakap time tu..
And aku sorang je lepas pegi next stage.. Part tu aku tak seronok sangat sebab kesian kat lagi lima orang tu. Yang sorang tu pun actually sampai final stage gak last time dia pegi interview..

Second stage ni cam memain je.
Dia tak tanya pape sebab ini tang grooming. Dia ukur tinggi, berat.. Suruh angkat seluar kau sikit, lipat lengan baju sikit.. carik scar la.. tattoo ke..
Pastu dia suh balik.. Dia akan contact untuk next stage.

So aku pun balik lah.. tunggu dan tunggu.. Rasa cam, betul ke diorang nak call ni?
Sebabnye, time aku ni, kitorang tunggu dalam sebulan before the next stage! Bapak lama hokeyy..
So almost sebulan tu diorang call, suh datang hari Sabtu kat akademi lagi..
Kali ni ada laki (yayy!) hahahha. Aku datang awal time tu so awal awal lagi nama aku dah kena panggil.

Stage ketiga ni aku tak ingat sangat cemana. (cik Amyan ingat tak?) Masuk berenam kot. Before kitorang masuk, ada laa sorang mamat ni, Fariq.. mesra gila! Memang GILA tak hengat!! Buat lawak merepek apa ntah.. kitorang siap diskas lagi, nanti masuk kalau dia tanya suh bincangkan something, kita cerita pasal makanan..
Sekali kitorang masuk, dia suh cakap pasal road bullies.. Ada la yang cakap memang road bullies ni memang tak elok, suka carik pasal.. Aku lak dengan selamba cakap kadang kadang orang driving cam haram, buat orang nak jadi road bully! Aku ingat time ni cik Amyan agree ngan aku. hahahaha!

Pastu dia tanya pasal talent lak. Time ni aku merepek pasal writing. Tiga orang kata menari. Yang sorang menari square dance, sorang kata belly dance tapi dia taknak demo, yang sorang ni nari.. macam.. gay sangat kot! HAHAHAHHA! Aku tak ingat Amyan ngan Fariq kata apa. (Korang cakap ape eh?)
So yang lepas empat orang; square dance, Fariq, Amyan, aku.

Last stage, sesi paling mendebarkan.
Aku dah emo time tu sebab teringat last time. Tapi sebab si Fariq ni ada.. so aku tenang sikit kot. Last stage ni masuk lima orang, so ada laa sorang amoi ni join group kitorang.
Lama kitorang tunggu nak masuk bilik tu. Kitorang patut masuk bilik A, tapi sekali dapat tau dalam bilik A orang besar kompeni. Fariq dah kecut dah. Rupenye si Fariq dah pegi interview LIMA kali.. so entah cemana, kitorang boleh lak swap bilik pegi yang lagi satu. Time ni aku rasa kurang sedap hati.. rasa macam cheat fate lak. Tapi aku ikut kata majority; semua nak swap bilik.

Sekali bila masuk bilik interview ni, aku rasa tenang hati. Dua orang interviewer ni senyuum je. Manis. Sorang laki, sorang pompuan.. yang pompuan ni sebenanye ketua akademi lah kira. Orang besa jugek actually.
First thing dia tanya, nama each other. Dia suh kitorang sebut nama orang lain dalam group tu. Kitorang pass with flying colours lah! Dah sah sah berborak sepanjang tunggu. Yang pompuan tu dah impressed dah, sebab dia kata group sebelum kitorang tak tau pun nama each other. hehe.

Kali ni dia kasi situation and kitorang kena jawab sorang sorang.. Kelakar la part ni. Sebab Fariq kena soal; katakan ada lelaki raba dia, apa dia buat. Fariq kata dia akan senyum saja. Of course la kitorang tergelak kan! Macam suka lak kena raba, hisy! Aku tak ingat apa situation aku dapat, yang aku tau aku main tibai je konon aku reti nak handle.

Anyway, seminggu dua lepas tu dapat call untuk pegi bonding briefing dan medical check-up. Memang satu group aku lepas.
Tapi disebabkan pengukur ketinggian kat medical centre tu bengong, cik Amyan tersangkut dan tak join training..

Fariq sebok call HR so dia dapat masuk batch 06/09.
Aku, Fabian (square dance) ngan amoi May masuk batch 09/09.
Tapi kitorang end up graduate sama sama..
Sebab tu lah aku pesan, kalau betul betul nak keje ni, jangan malu jangan segan.. Kalau kau jenis tak berani nak start bersuara buat kawan pun, kau kena la rajen senyum so orang yang rajin bersuara buat kawan ni mau berkawan ngan korang.

Kurusnye rupa aku dua tahun lepas. isyk.
Anyway, aku balek dari Brisbane ni tak tido lagi. Otak aku macam tengah shutdown sikit sikit. Agenda utama aku tadi sampai rumah adalah: BERAK. Aku tak paham betul toilet omputeh ni takde bidet. Puas ke main salat salat je? ewww!

Sepanjang trip lak satu set aku tanya aku from Sarawak ke. Tak sudah sudah! SUNGGUH aku tak ada related dengan orang Borneo ataupun darah Cina!
Pastu paling best, ada orang kat Brisbane tanya aku arah.. WAH! Rupa local kah saya?? hahahahha!

Bila fikir balek pasal time aku join.. Aku terasa sangat macam Tuhan memang dah ada plan untuk aku. Kalau lah aku start training awal, aku takde dalam batch 09/09. Or kalau lah aku degil sangat and tak pegi interview untuk kali kedua. Aku tak dapat study safety kat Cherating ngan batchmate aku. (iye, kitorang memang sempoi!)
Aku takkan ada Mummy dan Bestie.. dan aku tak berkawan pun dengan Encem.

Semua orang ada path masing masing kan?

Lepas ni aku cuti tiga hari sebelum buat flight four sector yang ntah pape. Aku nak balek Shah Alam!! Mau tuntut duit sama si Chacha. Banyak sangat beli barang kat Brisbane.. saya sengkekk!! Cemana mau pegi bercuti nihhh??