Mengong as always..
Heyy~! I'm still here.. I ask myself why, again. Pelik aaa? Things are not the way it seems, lately. Or maybe -things are not the way it feels- anymore. Huumm.. Kinda suxX when things start to change, huh? Gonna have a meeting at twelve today.. But I may be getting back a wee bit later than that.
Wondering where did this hollow feeling I have coming from. Could be from the past. though..

You've Changed by Vroom

Do you remember long ago when we had no will to know
about the evils of the world and ignorance was bliss
did we forget about those years,
have we given into fear, oh I wish I wasn't here

cause everything has changed now
Life was so simple it's insane now,
I wish I could step off the train now,
My memories begin to fade out, but I won't let them go

Take me home I never wanted to get old like this
Take me back unto my younger days of innocence.

And the war that rages on wouldn't callous us at all
we weren't frightened by the threat of nuclear attack
and we didn't have to care about government affairs
and I wish I still was there

cause everything has changed now
Life was so simple it's insane now,
I wish I could step off the train now,
My memories begin to fade out, but I won't let them go

Take me home I never wanted to get old like this,
Take me back unto my younger days of innocence.

Tonight I became what I hate
I lost my youth and I don't like things this way
On the edge everyone feels the same
things were better in our more innocent days
and I wish they'd stayed the same.

Take me home I never wanted to get old like this
Take me back unto my younger days of innocence.

"Babi betul.."
Urrgh!! What is wrong with me!! Sometimes I just get so angry at stuff!! Like right this moment! My hands are just shaking and I really don't know why!! Okay, I do know why.. but it's really not a big deal. But I'm just so furious at these small things! Urrghhh!! Shit! And guess what I keep repeating through out this week.. "Babi betul.."
Funny.. that's the one word that I didn't use when I curse usually.. but that's what I keep saying through this week. *Demm* Why does everything frustrates me these days.. PMS tak? Urrghh!!
Today.. I'm so VERY demm tired!! Been going back and forth from the FCM building to the room. Things are just a whole of crap.. and at five, I'll have to go back again for yet another meeting!! (scream~)

I refuse to say anything else now..

I Do by Better Than Ezra

I got a little bit of reason to everything I've done
I might just serenade the moonlight
And I get so lonely in this crowd
I wanna scream but make no sound
And yeah i'm lost, but maybe i'll be fine

'cause when i'm in over my head
I hear the words you said
That someone out there's listening to the same song
Feeling the same way that I do
Make me a believer, pick up the receiver
Tell me ya feel just like I do, I do

And I couldn't bear to see you walk out and leave it all behind
I couldn't bear to see the sunlight
And I love the sound of rain on tin your screen door beckoning me in
And yeah I'm mad but overcome with joy

Could it be so damn naive
To hope you could agree?
That someone out there's listening to the same song
Feeling the same way that I do
Make me a believer, pick up the receiver
Tell me ya feel just like I do, I do

In a world that's cellophane you get so lost, I know you do
In a world that's cellophane

Someone out there's listening to the same song
Feeling the same way that I do
Make me a believer, pick up the receiver
Tell me ya feel just like I do, I do
Someone out there's listening to the same song
Feeling the same way that I do
Make me a believer, pick up the receiver
Tell me ya feel just like I do, I do

Forwards - Your Life And Love By Birthdate

Is your birthday day 1 of the month?
Your Life:
You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be successful in life.
Your Love:
You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your statement. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.

Is your birthday day 2 of the month?
Your Life:
You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a slight chance for self-control problem.
Your Love:
Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented with your unrequited love. You are a romantic and loyal lover.

Is your birthday day 3 of the month?
Your Life:
Although you are innocent and romantic but your statement often mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You are careful and patient.
Your Love:
Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence might lead you to the track your parents disagree.

Is your birthday day 4 of the month?
Your Life:
You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid. People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around. You are cheerful and friendly.
Your Love:
Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.

Is your birthday day 5 of the month?
Your Life:
Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.
Your Love:
Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can only makes your jealousy becomes worse.

Is your birthday day 6 of the month?
Your Life:
You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that people find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise others. Your imagination is extremely unique.
Your Love:
Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity bring happiness to your couple.

Is your birthday day 7 of the month?
Your Life:
You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind your extreme persistence.
Your Love:
You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship often progress quickly.

Is your birthday day 8 of the month?
Your Life:
You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.
Your Love:
Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

Is your birthday day 9 of the month?
Your Life:
You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality. Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.
Your Love:
You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

Is your birthday day 10 of the month?
Your Life:
You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be a renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in implementing your imagination and share it with others. You are always well dressed.
Your Love:
You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows your relationship.

Is your birthday day 11 of the month?
Your Life:
You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person.
Your Love:
You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always be happy to hand around the one you love.


Is your birthday day 12 of the month?
Your Life:
You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.
Your Love:
You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.

Is your birthday day 13 of the month?
Your Life:
You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be around although you are sometimes too straightforward.
Your Love:
Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person. Even though you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are, especially in the eyes of opposite sex.

Is your birthday day 14 of the month?
Your Life:
You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across.
Your Love:
You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen, there's no getting back.

Is your birthday day 15 of the month?
Your Life:
You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let your temper shows.
Your Love:
You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.

Is your birthday day 16 of the month?
Your Life:
You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature, curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make your dream comes true.
Your Love:
You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you, in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at fist sight is not your style.

Is your birthday day 17 of the month?
Your Life:
You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you childish and not very attractive in that sense.
Your Love:
Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are great. You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have to choose only one.

Is your birthday day 18 of the month?
Your Life:
At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character, some find you hard to be around.
Your Love:
You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your sincerity makes you very attractive.

Is your birthday day 19 of the month?
Your Life:
You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your own life.
Your Love:
You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon after that, you will make up in ways that surprise others.

Is your birthday day 20 of the month?
Your Life:
You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value friendship more than anything else.
Your Love:
You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your sincerity doesn’t bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply grown relationship.

Is your birthday day 21 of the month?
Your Life:
You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.
Your Love:
You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in your heart.

Is your birthday day 22 of the month?
Your Life:
You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming individual.
Your Love:
You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone. Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you won’t let them get away without having hard time.

Is your birthday day 23 of the month?
Your Life:
You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your friends count on.
Your Love:
Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although you might not realize it.

Is your birthday day 24 of the month?
Your Life:
You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you. You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak their heart out.
Your Love:
Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and romantic.

Is your birthday day 25 of the month?
Your Life:
You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal. You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will eventually bring you success.
Your Love:
You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your love one more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have potential to get married young.

Is your birthday day 26 of the month?
Your Life:
You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is not the way you choose to live. Traveling is your favorite hobby because excitement is what you are after.
Your Love:
You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be looking around for the next one.

Is your birthday day 27 of the month?
Your Life:
You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a kind loving person.
Your Love:
You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your date may be. You are demanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable extend.

Is your birthday day 28 of the month?
Your Life:
You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than ever.
Your Love:
You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out before seeing any progress in love.

Is your birthday day 29 of the month?
Your Life:
You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you.
Your Love:
You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.

Is your birthday day 30 of the month?
Your Life:
You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.
Your Love:
You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are certainly confident which might take ages.

Is your birthday day 31 of the month?
Your Life:
Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion and understand you. You tend to take things seriously.
Your Love:
You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making progress, even your partner.

Not a very good day..
Kinda just got back from seeing Aishah and Nana jammin' in their friend's house in Cyberia. Pretty neat, really! They're gonna be in the Battle Of The Band (so they can't come along to Pangkor.. +_+)
Got some supposedly-neat addition to our Expression presentation! Might be having two guitars and a tamborine!! Ekkekke!! Macam band kat pasar.. Ekkeke!!
So, what actually made this day quite horrible? Humm.. start off, with my lack of sleep (as always!) which I can't understand why.. I just can't get myself to sleep at the right time.. Actually woke up with a surprise.. I found something on the floor and made my heart skipped a bit. Could I be seeing bad omens? Urrghhh!! Mengarut lah Wanie!! Karut karut belaka.. Just, something that never happened before, happened this morning, and kinda shocked me. Anyways, Fundamental.. well.. I had a pretty okay time, but I wished that the music wasn't so slooooooooooww! But yeah, I did some silly ballet movements during that hour.. Ekkeke! And then, had that committee meeting again.. Going to have that everyday from now.. Huuu.. And someone said something 'disturbing' repeatedly during that hour.. Kinda pissed me off, but not so bad-lah! Just, it kept me wondering why would anyone want to say it so many times.. Probably to see how I'd react.. but that suxX!! O yeah, should I mention 'bout how much food I consume these days?? VERRRRY small portion.. I didn't ate anything this whole day except for an early dinner around six.. and I can't even finish it, myself!! Something is very wrong.. but I can't pin point what it actually is..
A pretty bad day for me, mentally.. Guess the only real good news today is that me and Ana are going to work together in Pangkor later.. and that this is Thursday morning.. Really need to get away from here..
Tak tahan.. Feels like breaking down..

"What if my love for you is just one-tenth of your love for me?"

Oww.. owww..
Pain in my tummy.. this is what I usually get if I stayed up too long.. Urrghhh! I don't know what I was doing.. been surfing around.. checking out the sites made by my group members.. while chatted, yeah.. Hehheh! Thanks Dar!! Lagu besh~!! ^_^ Main kat gitar musti besh ekk~
Oww oww.. maybe I've been up too much long.. I think better if I get some shut eye.. Got some 'project' thingy that I wanna do tomorrow.. Ekkekke~!!

I got a crush on you~ Ekkekke!

It kills me that I believe in what I believe in..
Ada Apa Dengan Cinta.. yeahh.. what is it with love, actually huh?? Heard some bits of that forum just now.. Ekkekke! Heard some funny bits of it.. but I have to say.. some parts of it made me feel a wee bit uncomfortable.. Ehhehh.. So I didn't stay 'til the end of the forum.. ^_^
Honestly.. I really feel like typing out something, but I don't know of what!! Urrghh.. I guess this is my mind's way of telling me that I should do something else constructive..
Later~

It kills me that I'm forcing myself......

We got older but we're still young
Ekkekke!! Very funnily yucky video clip by The Starting Line - Best Of Me.. Thanks Shahnon!! Heehee~ Can't believe that they looked absolutely.. CLEAN! Ekkekke!! And that part when that guitarist did that thing he did with his guitar.. ekkeke!! -MENAKJUBKAN!- Ekkekke!!
Quite a long day.. but quite neat!! Bought some stuff along with Ana.. and discussed the whole Expression thing with the fellas. Ikkikiki!! Quite an interesting thing that we came up with! ^_^
Well.. still tired, I think! I'll be off, now..

Imagine sunrise being burried in my stomach
That's how down I feel when I think of war..

Dizzy~
Hahhaha!! Made my own self-record again.. I was awake for 31 hours straight.. Nak mamposs!! I don't know what the h*ll I was thinking.. but I guess I wasn't thinking at all! I was about to go to sleep.. when the gurls - Fina, Sheeya and Aisha started playing neat songs which made me come down from my bed and choreographed some stuff.. Ekkekke!! Humm.. 9 hours of sleep to make up that 31 hours.. Ok lah kan?
Pardon me if I'd be talking crap today, though.. I think my brain is going a bit slooooow.. +_+

Current song : Big Machine by Goo Goo Dolls
~ I'm blind and waiting for you ~

Horribly dying..
Don't talk to me, don't make jokes with me.. I don't have the time!! My head is going to explode!! Didn't sleep for the rest of 24 hours, and I'm really crying for help here.. Really can't take this amount of pain.. And my friends kept telling me how miserable I look..
After English, I got back to my room and did my bit of Fundamental to show to En. Najib later in the evening.. So I did.. around 4, Aisyah and Nana came to our room and we went to see Lydia's list of names outside her room.. (we're in Group 15, by the way.. but with a bit of misunderstanding.. gotta straighten it out as soon as possible~!) So then, about 5 we went to the studio for the Pangkor meeting.. and it lasted for 2 long hours!!!! My eyes are threatening to pop out anytime soon..
Really.. I have to sleep!! Maybe if I feel like up for it, I'll wake up later in the night and get some more works I should be doing...

Once you've crossed that line, there'll be no turning back~!

Where the h*ll did my morning go??
Didn't get any sleep the whole last night.. Must be losing my head. Ever felt so full of emotion, but you don't know what?? Or a strong feeling that builds up within you, but you don't know for whom? Oh well, lots of stuff to think about this day. Just realised that I have plenty plenty PLENTY of things to do if I want to get through this Alpha year (which happen to suck, really!) So now, when I thought I've done my Graphics thing.. and earned myself a weekful of resting, I was wrong! (as always..) Now, I gotta think of stupid Creative Expression which took war as a theme!! How stupid can that be?? That is like the most over-talked topic these days and I'm so bored of it! Y'know.. if U.S really wants war on Iraq.. come on, get it over with!! This all-talk really bores me out! Of course I'd say no to war.. but this stuff is waaaaaaay too much talked about.. Bluerrghhh!!
Okay.. I really should get my sleep in this couple of hours, before the Alpha commitee meeting at 5. (believe it or not, I kinda volunteered for it, along with my friends) Still hungry.. but not hungry enough to make me move and get something to eat.. Urrghh! I am so sick!!!
Gonna at least rest now.. just bought myself March's edition of CLEO.. so I'll have this bit of light reading before I think on those Expression and English product thingy..

Pooped~ 1419

Saturday - February 21, 2003 Sick?
Shoot.. Lost of appetite again. I think it really suxX, not being able to finish your meal. Honestly, I've had that plenty of that these days, and I don't like it one bit! Makes me feel like I'm sick.. Though, I usually get sick when I don't eat.. And yeah, it's coming. My flu's over.. but Mama kept telling me how pale I was when I got home, yesterday. I hate that! I hate it when people tell me that I'm pale.. 'coz I've been hearing that for years and years.. I'm not well!! Get over it! It's not like I do it on purpose. Bluerrghh.. Though, I don't faint when I do plenty of activities. I just get really... really drowsy and pale. Huhuu.. not enough blood, equals to not enough oxigen. Actually, I don't know much about this 'sickness' I'm having. I didn't do my part of research 'coz I kept forgetting the name of this 'sickness'. If I say that I'm anemic, I think I'd be lying.. 'coz I don't feel like it's THAT serious. Hehh~ Though I do know that donating my blood can risk my own life, and the one that receives my blood.. Not really risk their life, but I don't think it helps if they use my blood.. Ekkekke! (sorry if you don't get this..) So anyways.. maybe one day I'll go a bit 'medical' when I know exactly what I'm having. ^_^ Bengong.. dah banyak kali check darah, but still tak tau blood group ape.. Ekkekke!! Kenape kan, Wanie rase.. kalau teenagers ade penyakit lah kan, usually berkenaan ngan darah? Huumm..
Drowned with boredom this whole day. Thought I was going crazy, but I didn't! Wanted so much to hang out with someone, but I can't think of anyone. I mean, I thought of calling some guy friends and ask any of them to hang.. but nanti terpikir lain laak.. tak kuase! I really hate the fact that my gurl friends are not around.. and I can't call up my guy friends 'coz I'm afraid if I'd be 'inappropriate'.. Urrghhh!! Wanted to go out alone, but who am I kidding? I even had trouble crossing a busy road all by myself. Ekkeke!! And where's the fun in going out alone?? Hihhihik~!
And now you and I are trapped
in a rather confusing box
Hehh~ well, I'm confused over something right here.. And I don't know why I think of that line. I think I've been hearing that word -confuse- too much these days. Ana like to say it to me.. "Maybe dia confuse kot.." Ekkekke!! It frustrates me, but it's getting funnier everytime me and Ana use it again.. ^_^
Okehh.. that's all for tonight. I have nothing else mind-opening (yeah, right!) to say tonight..

Current song : Tonight by Sixpence None The Richer
~ It's hard to know where I'm supposed to go ~

Friday - February 20, 2003 Meteor Garden
Honestly, I hate Dao Ming Si's mother!! What's up with her, maan? San Chai decided to leave Si 'coz his mom is messing with her friends' lives. So not fair!! Just because she's from a different background, Si's mom told them to stop seeing each other. And San Chai is really getting to like Si!! If that happens in real life, surely it'd hurt.. They were just about to get so attached.. But I think San Chai's really neat! She's brave enough to stand up to Si's mom.. and at least both of them had some moments together to stand up for their 'happiness'.. of course, that's until Si's mom made a move to San Chai's friends. So selfish of her!! And moms usually thought of their childrens' happiness!! Bluekk! Jahat.. jahaaat!
Ekkeke!! Funny.. I've read the spoilers of this series but I'm still sensitive over the episodes.. Ekkekek!
Okaay, been messing with my parents lately. Maybe you ought to try this at home. Kalau diorang gertak nak tinggalkan korang kat mane-mane, or tak nak amek korang.. (yeah, usually happen to me 'coz I made stupid stupid jokes that made them geram at me.. Ehhehe~!) cakap kat diorang "Eleeeh.. nanti korang rindu!".. Ekkekek!! Of course, I don't know your parents, and I don't know their response.. but my charm works perfectly at my parents and sisters.. 'coz they'd laugh it up and say no more. I mean, if they agree to it, it'd sound a wee yucky, and if they deny it.. who knows when I'm really really gone! ^_^ Actually this line is just some bit of a reminder to them.. Jangan slalu sangat gertak-gertak carik pasal.. kite tak tau ape jadi kat future nanti.. kan kann??
I don't know why I've been thinking so much lately about "if I'm gone.." Kinda scary thought, don't you think? And things have been a bit different, lately too.. Ekkekke!!! Okay okaay.. not going to talk about this one! ^_^

But I won't deny that I've had some good times..

Nak mamposs??!!
Pedih gile nih! Rambut masok mata.. I HATE!! Ade lak perasaan nak potong laie rambut nih.. But nanti tak jadi la plak the promise I made at the beginning of the year! Huuu~! Tapi sakiiiiiiiiiiiitt!! GrrRrrrRr! Rambut dah start panjang nihh.. but tahap yang tak besh.. takleh ke skip je part nih??!! Ekkekke!!
Oklaa.. saje je nak cakap Malay once in a while.. but still takleh cakap pure Malay.. ade aje words English.. Ekkeke!! Terok btoll..

Almost two months?
Had my Maths quiz today.. And I have to say.. I'd surely be surprised if I don't get sucky marks for it!! Ekkekke!! Well.. honestly, I think it shouldn't be that bad.. but I had my thoughts on something last night so I can't really get the things I read into my head.. Silly me.. but at least I don't feel like banging my head to the wall~! So that's a pretty good news.. ^_^ Oyy~! Thanks Ana for the Sugarcult songs~ Sugarcult.. yeahh.. I think I should start that.. a cult with peeps with problem controlling their sugar intake.. Ekkekke!! Thanks Anaaaa~!! Besh lagu nih.. Cayang Anaaa!! Menarik Sugarcult nihh.. Doesn't exactly have the kind of look I like, (ehehh~!) but I think he has a pretty neat voice! Ekkekke!! What's with gurls and guitar and guys that can sing, huhh?? Ekkekke!
O yeah.. actually feels a wee bit frustrated right here.. Tengok blogger orang manyak cantik-cantik and mine is like SO hampehh.. buat sakit ati jekk!! Tapi nak suhh buat tags, Wanie malaihh la plakk.. HTML tags usually gives me the headache.. Bodo..!

What's happening, here?
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Coz I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the stregth to stand today
'Coz I love you whether it's wrong or right,
and though I can't be with you tonight, you know my heart is by your side
* If You're Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield *

Why am I listening to this song again? Bluerrghh... Kenape ni? Kenape ni? Kenape nieeeeee???? I am feeling... I don't know!! Shit, I hate this!! Feels like my heart is somewhere else.. and I've been doing things without it's approval.. and it sucked really bad!! Life becomes so crappy.. so suddenly!! Urrghhh!! I HATE!!!!!!!! Help... feeling so helpless.. Why????
Why.. does my heart aches this day? Why.. does my hands tremble all of a sudden? Why.. can't I keep my mind straight? Why.. do I feel so lost??

My black colored nail..
Huuu.. somehow Maths seemed a wee bit interesting these days. Ekkekke!!
Sweating horribly right now.. been dancing around with the girls.. Ekkeke!! But it was loads of funnn!! ^_^ So yeah, sweating like a pig as I cough like my lungs is about to pop out anytime soon..
So many things in my head right now. And I can't seem to know why.. All of a sudden.. things.. got confusing again.

Tum chu.. ngo kwa chu lei..

Ribena
Andai cinta ada lagi
Pastinya bukan milik hatiku ini
~ Halaman Cinta - Misha Omar ~

Humm.. bored to almost-death again in Maths this morning.. Three hours of sleep is absolutely not enough for me! I really am going nuts!
Supposedly going for English at 12.. but.. I don't know yet.. since I'm going nuts.. I may be losing my senses as well.. Maybe I'll just skip class again 'coz I just can't think right anymore. Urrghhh!! Everything just frustrates me these days!!
I think I should stop right here a while.. I may start cursing like mad if I keep on continuing..

Why does my heart....?
Ekkekkeke!! Don't you think when family say something nice about what you did is just very verry cool? ^_^ I think it's usually family who won't say much about the things you do.. 'coz they'd usually expect plenty from you, and so you can't hear those puji pujian words from them often. Well, I don't know.. My family's like that! Bukan jenis puji-puji sangat orang.. Perasan tak? I did.. Ekkekke! Wanie punye puji-puji slalu bunyik cam jealousy. Ekkekke! Tak reti nak buat bunyik cam lain.. Fina tere laa~! Wanie tak biaselaa puji-puji ni. So yeah, I don't really get any 'congratulary-words' much from my dad.. but of course, I'm not really the child to be proud of~ Ekkekke! So I don't expect to get those often. Weii.. ape puji in English nihh??! Pening orang pikir.. grrRrRrR!
O yeah.. Nina puji sebab dia baru tengok webby and she thinks it's nice! Hehehihihikekekke!! Don't you think that was a stupid laugh??! Ekkekke!
Okay.. just had three hours of sleep.. can't understand why I woke up so early by my own. GrrRrrR!

And I still don't know what's puji in English!!
Ekkeke.. okay.. 8:43 = Nina said it's compliment!! Apsal la bengap sangat Wanie skarang nih?? Dahlaa MUET pon dapat Band 4 jekk!! Average.. Urrrghh!! Benci! Buat sakit ati btol..! Rase nak tendang diri sendrik!

My heart is crazy~!!
Yes, it is..
Anyways.. it's late at night.. I've been alone in my room for hours since Fina went back home since Amal took some days off 'coz his brother is getting married~! While Ana went out with Jai.. So yeah, me.. alone.. absolutely alone.. Get it?? And all f*cked up 'coz I have a demm crazy heart as a companion! Urrghh!! So, I've actually spent straight 5 hours watching a "Smallville and Gilmore Girls" marathon. Feels like I'm going off crazy in a bit..
My heart's stupid.. and I'm getting a pain in my head. Crap.. crap.. crap..!!
But anyhow.. I'd like to say big BIG BIGGG thanks to Kak Yan.. Hihhihik~! Kak Yan roxX!! Dah ade theme songs Meteor Garden!! Yippeeeee!!
Ever had a big question.. a very important question to you.. that you're dying to let out but you don't want to have the answer for it?? I think I'm having that right now. A question that is close to my heart.. that I'd love to let out.. to the big void where it just wanders around without being touched and harmed..

How can it be?

215=Bengong/ 3:20=Jealous am I?? Ekkekke!
Heehee~! Quite a nice day I'm having. O yeah.. gonna start from yesterday evening..!
Meteor Garden was neat! If you know what kind of 'girl' I am, sure you'd know why.. Things between Si and San Chai is going neat! Ekkekke!!
Anyways, then me and the girls went out to Malee at 11 something 'coz Fina, Sheeya and BJ just finished their Graphics work and all of us were pretty hungry and the food stall downstairs was closing. Somehow I fooled around a lot last night.. Ekkeke!!
Okehh! So we got back around 1.. (the electricity on our floor still suxX!!) and the other gurls but me and Ana were getting ready to go to sleep. So we spent about two hours watching Smallville, entah season brape ntah, yang pasti Whitney mati!! Poor Whitney.. what a lost of a good face on telly.. Ekkekke!! He looks real neat in uniform.. Or is it, most men in uniforms look neat? Ekkekek!! Anyways.. me and Ana weren't sleepy yet so we played T.A.T.U.'s live performance of Malchik Gei. Me and Ana memorize the intro now!! If you've seen the video before, you know which part I'm talking about.. ^_^ Ahhahha!! Kantoi lak.. tengok vid clip T.A.T.U yang agak kureng snonoh Ekkekek!!
And then me and Ana lay on the carpeted floor, and talked and talked.. Finally went to sleep at 5!! Ekkekek!! And we slept for 7 hours.. (we weren't having Graphics!!) And then went for Fundamental at 2.. ^_^ Some funny things happened in the studio.. but I won't be talking about it right here 'coz it's private! Ekkekke!!!
Afterwards me and Ana walked around MMU 'coz no one's in the room and we were bored. Hung a bit at the side of the road towards that tower.. really.. we were sitting at the side of the tarred road.. ^_^ And then came this lorry with four people.. Three of them were waving at us.. and they stopped right next to us and said, "Kenape dik, jatuh ke?" And then I said no and the driver nodded once and drove away.. (as the other three smiled) Ekkeke!! It was a pretty funny experince.. Caring nyer laa mamat tuh! Ekkekke!! And then we walked again, and got ourselves a chocolate sundae!!! Ekkeke!!
And now I'm in my room.. listening to my getting-boring playlist as I wait 'til 6 o'clock.. Meteor Garden!!!
Eyh, sape ade intro and ending theme for Meteor Garden.. tolong kasik bole taak?? Suka laa!
Eyh eyh.. don't you think it's kinda confusing when we talk about songs? Ekkekek!! I mean, every song tells a story..! It's just a case if it's telling YOUR tale.. Ehhehe! I'm talking on my behalf.. 'coz I've been posting on a lot of songs.. but do you think it means that I just like the song, or did I post it 'coz it was telling one of MY story?? Ekkekke!! Pandai pandai korang laa camner nak interpret! ^_^

Current song : How Soon Is Now by T.A.T.U.
~I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does~