Uhuu..
Sorry for yesterday's post.. uhuu.. tak manis sungguh! ekekke!! I'm all cooled down, now.
Actually I was pissed off with my mom's office's server yesterday, tu yang kuar segala yang tak baik tuh.. but right now dah okay sangat! Finally got to register some of my subjects.. ade sedikit problem though.. MCP ngan TDB nyer jadual agak tulul.. but biar ajelaa kot! Takleh register kali ni, try laie lain kali!
Anyways.. nak cakap nie.. thru the break, I did missed all my friends! Really looking forward for the next sem. (passed all my subjects! alhamdulillah..) Maka.. Beta lah nantiii!! Weeee~ buang duit~ buang duit~ woo~hoo! ekkeke!
Well, gotta end now. Nak try register balek subject yang bengong bengong tuh...

Take care peeps!!

Vaviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!
sial shit stupid bodoh-betul bangang bengap bingai busuk bahlol bengong bongok babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!
smer nye cam siaaaaaaaaaal belaka!! rase cam nak ketuk kepala!!!!!!
babibabibabibabibabibabibabiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!
and still!! dah mencarut dengan penuh kesialan pon tak puas lagi nih! rase cam nak hampok something.. babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I HATE!
Bengap btol.. been trying to get into MMU's website and still!! Takleh!! BENCIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
O yeah.. hello all! Tengah kidnap my mom's desk nih! Nak check results.. register.. and those things I can do lah.. but nampaknyer, buat mase nih takleh nak buat ape-ape pon! Chit! Saje buat tensen orang..
Okie.. maybe I'll ost again when I'm in a better mood..

bengap nyerh MMU..

Bapak tak tau nak tulis ape
Oh well, since this may be my last entry.. dalam blek nihh..
Oyy!! Tak tau nak tulis apeeee!! except.. GONNA MISS YOU ALL!! and the free internet.. EKKEKEKEK!!
You peeps are going to be running through my thoughts day and night during this break.. Tak saba nanti naik semester.. We'll be having juniors!! Wahho~~! Tengok stail sape yang dah berubah.. sape ade janggut ke.. misai ke.. rambut tahap pinggang kee.. Ekekkeke!! Gonna miss my frens sooooooooo much!!
Ana.. you roxX no matter what..
Fariz.. tak kesah cemana annoying awak leh jadi pon and sakitkan ati saye pon, you're still the one I talk to about stuff, kan kaannn?
Fina.. caring gile nyer bdak! Cam potensi mak.. ekkeke
Asha.. thanks sebab kasi pinjam gitaa!! Aja main gitaa!! Kasi pinjam tamborin!! Wahho~~
Dar.. penghibur hati di malam buta.. weee~!
Ablen.. pelik ekk? Baru start baik, Wanie dah comfy untuk citer memacam kat budak nihh.. hehhe!
BJ.. huhuu.. bapak tere buat Fundamental.. teringat mase BJ tolong lukiskan gamba pelam (mangga) untuk Fundamental..
Sheeya.. ahahha!! adelaa time yang tak besh sebab Sheeya senang terase.. tapi still, you're the best joker I've found!
SAYANG KORANG SMER!! Korang smer sangat sangat sangaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatlah beshnyerr!

Gile.. everyday I'd think of you peeps!!

Emotionless
Am I? Not so sure about that.. maybe I wished to...
Tengah pusing-pusing, main mp3 lama-lama.. teringat la kat menda-menda dulu.. Terdengar la plak lagu My Friends Over You. Adehh.. ape gila dah lama tak denga lagu nihh.. Me and Ana had this conversation about 'which song reminds of what..' So adelaa.. terdenga certain songs, teringat kat sem 1 2 or 3.. Macam-macam sangat laa running thru my head skarang nih..!! Sampai my feelings are blurred by my thoughts. Dah tak tau ape nak rase.. cam numb all over. Macam dah a while camtu.. kenape ekk? Penat sangat kot!
I've been asking myself the same question last night. What am I feeling? Mungkin ke betul.. ape yang Wanie rase skarang ni.. ataupun anxiety semata-mata? Am I ready to move on? Hahhahha!! Rasanye cam tak.. rasa cam maseh nak berada in the middle of this phase. Feels nice to have everyone as friends, kan?

True to myself.. and I'll be true to you~

Motorcycle Drive By
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this golden wave
Darkly coming
To take me home
And I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive
~ Third Eye Blind

Sangat sangat tension.. can't really stand the feeling that I burst into tears.. Ever felt so tired so you want to get some sleep and not to wake again? Huhuuu.. PENAT aaahhhh!!! Macam-macam sangat in my thoughts that it tires me out...
Just realized.. banyak btol nyusahkan Papa ngan Mama... kenape huh??

Ahhahah!! Buat false alarm..
Told my friends that I was going back today.. even asked Nina to tell Papa to pick me up around 8.. made dinner plans with Mama.. Can you believe that the three of us were in Yahoo! Conference earlier this evening? Ahhahaha!! Well, cancelled it quite last minute since.. err.. okie, let me start from the very beginning. Ehek!
So, we started looking for a house, 'aight for next trimester? We contacted an agent in Cyberia.. they helped us pretty much! The first time we met them, they were reaaaaaaaaally warm! Ahahha!! 'Coz it was raining and me and Fina and BJ were all wet 'coz we walked to their office. They were offering us hot Milo laah.. roti laah.. Heeheehee! Very friendly, indeed. So anyways, after some choices were lain laid in front of us, maseh tak jumpe prospek yang menarik ati. And today, they messaged me through Y! M and asked if we've found anything yet, and I said no.. and asked some stuff and they have this unit that would be perfect for us!! Agaknye laa.. ehheheh! So we'll be having a meeting at 11 tomorrow morning.. Someone help me to wake up!! Uhuuu..
Last night, ingat nak balek dah.. kitorang (me, Ana and Asha) lepak on Ana's bed.. borak-borak. Gile aaah! Tiga orang in one bed is absolutely uncomfortable.. but very good for a midnight chat. Though.. Ehehe! Mase tu sampai kul 6 pagi pon. Woke up around 11 and didn't get back to sleep after that.. so I'm really reaaaaaaaally tired right now, but takde mood nak tido.
Ohh!! Pasal false alarm.. Besh jekk! Terharu tau mengingatkan rakan-rakan yang ingatkan kite nak balek.. ehhehe! Ablen's status was touching.. ekkeke! And Dar lak tak tido petang sebab ingat orang dah nak balek! Ekekke!! Korang smer memang besh!! Okie.. reaaaaaaaally reaaaaaally hope that last night's promise will happen next trimester. Sedih tau kalau tak jadik! Ekekke!
Okie.. hopefully tomorrow's meeting will be great!

I don't know how to connect, so I disconnect*

I've Been Waiting

So I'm waiting by a phone for the blessing ring
Like a holy grail for the fisher king
Time is ticking down like a metronome
Rhythm for my brain, and ceaseless scales
I never seem to play them to the beat I hear
Though my heartbeat is a beat that beats so near

So we had a talk last night about the heavy blow
That you dealt in fright, your back against the wall
It was a puzzle piece, important to the whole
That I may not find to place within that hole
I never seem to put them in the gaps I see
Like a puzzle with the pieces lost you need

So I'm changing who I am
'Cause what I am is not good
And I know you love me now
But I don't see why you should
And I don't see why you should
No, I don't see why you should

So I drift into the air like a moth to light
Down the boulevard to a coffee shop
In the land of song, in the land of waits
My pen is bearing down on this lonely down
I never seem to write them down as good as him
Like I somewhere lost the keys that let me in

Sixpence None The Richer

For long will I remember those times...
Going back home today.. Agaknye korang leh imagine my feelings tak? A bit sad... and scared. That hollow feeling I've felt last Saturday is coming back again.. Going to wonder about the next semester.. Will me and my frieds friends stay close? Will I still be friends with the guys I've known throughout this Alpha year..? Hoyy, sedihh!!
Kemungkinan nak main gita laie dengan those guys I know dah takde.. Fariz.. Dar.. Ablen yang senyap tu.. (besh gile borak ngan dia, tapinyer!!) Azarul yang dalam 'keganasan' ade 'kegedikkan'nyer.. (mane Ila?) Heehee* Dani.. yang tak mau mengaku dia caring sebenanye.. Ekkekek!! (kalau menyebok tu, musti ade sebab kan? Ehhehe!) Majin.. teringat lak SMS "stop" mase ponteng English.. Ekkeke! Lawak spastik Tariq.. Yatta Yus.. pergerakan Alitt yg slalu agak amusing untuk ditiru.. those things that make me smile..
Takdelaa rapat ngan smer bebudak kat atas tuh.. but penah la juge hang out same.. Heehee* Buat janji ngan Ablen smalam.. heehee* Besh besh!!
My gurl frens.. Ana, Fina, BJ, Asha, Sheeya, Nana.. Aisha makcik, Juju.. korang smer memang besh!!
If the good times were never to repeat itself, I'll cherish every moment and laughters we'd share together. In my thoughts, I'll be thinking of you peeps.. and in my heart, I'll regret for not knowing you peeps even deeply and spending more time with y'all.. Heehee*

Berikannya padaku!! Ayoh ayoh ayoohhh*

*PEMBERITAHUAN*
tak sempat nak siapkan infos untuk webby!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHHA!! So.. sila tunggu bile Wanie berkesempatan, okie..!
Just, for the time being, it's a picture gallery website.. Ehhehe!

Sowee.. heehee*

It hurts when you're self decieved
That's what Vroom said in Dumb Like That, and it's true! I think it hurts even more than having someone decieve you.. AHHAHA!! So why am I saying this? Honestly, I don't know.. was I self-decieved? I think not.. but probably self-confusing.. Nyehnyeh~~
Humm.. I think I'll have to get away from Ana a bit lah! Sebab tadi main gita ngan Dar and Ablen kat HB0.. and it got her into 'trouble' with Jai. Am I feeling guilty for it? Maybe.. though I know she made her own choices.. but I hate it when I am somehow related in this relationship stuff. Jealousy really suxX, huh? Tak nak kapeeeeeeeeeell!!! Tapi....? Well, I just hope when my time comes, I'll run into someone who'd really understand.. Ahhahha!! See my un-fairness?? Seems like I'm just going to make that person understand me no matter what. AHHAHA!! Honestly, jealousy can become sweet sometimes.. but I think I've been surrounded by tahap kejelesan yang melampau.. Hisy!! Tak tahan tengok.. so, untuk my friends yang ade kapel.. I salute y'all for going through all that dengan penuh selamat.. Moga korang berkekalan, okie! As long as you guys are happy, lah kan?
Cakap pasal main gita lak.. ekkeke! Maseh agak segan nak main depan orang yang bukan berada dalam bilek. AHAHHA!! Dah.. lain kali takmo dah demo secare live.. takmo takmo takmoo! 3 kali cukup dah..

Occupied~ figuring out what I'm feeling.. heehee*

*Why am I still single?*
Ekkeke.. did the EMODE test on that.. kinda interesting really.. So what did I get?? I am still single 'coz I *don't want to commit*! Which is pretty much true.. AHHAHA!!
Nak bace Wanie bercerita? Ehhehe! When I look at my friends with their couple.. sometimes I CAN get jealous.. tapi takdelaa sangat.. 'coz mostly, my thoughts would go like.. "camne diorang leh same-same lama camtuu???" Ekkekke!! I really can't imagine myself so commited like Fina and Amal.. huhuu! And well, obviously depend so much on my friends! Well, not really.. but if I were to chose between my friends and a special friend.. I would probably choose my friends!! Ekkeke! Maybe 'coz I haven't find someone that I reaaaaaaaaally want to spend time alone with.. AHHAHHA!!
Tapi serius aa!! Tengok Ana ngan Jai.. tengok Fina and Amal.. I just can't imagine myself in their places.. Nape cam restricted sangat commitment nih ekk? Macam-macam kene jage ekk? Jage ati orang ni keje yang susah.. and Wanie cam tak sesuai jek! AHAHHA! Serius tak ready! Gile gile gileee!! Bergayut kat fon lama-lama lagi.. Huhuu! Takleh imagine.. camne kalau leh jumpe ari-ari pon nak bergayut laie ekk?? Gile gile gilee!! Semua ni tak masuk akal pada Wanie.. Sometimes cam tak caye jek Wanie penah gone through this.. AHHAHAH!!
So.. being surrounded by couples didn't really make me feel like I should get someone to call my own.. Tapi made me realize how I'm not up for it!! Undeniably, one day Wanie mungkin akan terminat kat sape sape.. 'coz all the peeps around me are so nice..! Baik sangat sangat.. tapi maybe I'll choose to like him from afar, and not getting myself commited. Realize jugak.. I am better as a friend, than a 'special friend'.. Actually menda tu dah lamaaaaa tau.. but, biaselaa.. menggatal! Ekkekke!! So kite tengok ajelaa camne nanti.. siapa yang maybe dapat tarik Wanie from my group of friends.. Ehkehehkeh!!
But for the time being.. I don't feel like getting myself commited to anyone, but myself!!! (ye kee?) Well, at least that's what Papa suggested.. Ekkekkeke!!

Pening aa pikir pasal umah.. huwaaa!!

Kecik tapi tak kecik...
Ekkekke!! Papa and Nina just came by to get some of my stuff back home.. Brought along my makanan ruji.. McD!! Weeee!! Ekkeke!! Hepi hepi..
I think Papa kinda missed me! Ekkekke!! Sebab datang datang trus kiss my cheeks! Ehhehhe!! Yeaaaaaay! Besh btol bile disayangi begini! Eheeeheee! Got most of my stuff out of this room.. it's getting emptier by day lah~ Sedih sedikit.. with the fact that I'll be leaving this memorable.. memorable room!
Tempat bergelak ketawa.. tempat menangis.. tempat marah.. tempat merajuk.. tempat hilang barang.. tempat makan.. tempat tido.. tempat menari dan melompat-lompat cam spastik.. tempat menyanyi.. smernye kat blek nihh! SUMERNYE KAT BLEK NIHH!!! And I'll be leaving it soon enough!! But.. I don't want to stay either.. memandangkan all my friends are going back as well.. Tak ske nyer kene tinggaaaaaaaaaal!!!
Papa and Nina cakap something yang agak memeningkan tadi.. "Nape bile Wanie balek umah, nampak Wanie kecik.. tapi bile kat sini nampak biase? Bile nak besa?? Nape cam kecik lagi?" Huhuuu!! Mane orang taau!! Ye aa ye aa.. Wanie tak matang laie.. untuk Papa jugak taau! Ekkeke!! So he'll feel younger than his age and also know that I'll still be his youngest, cutest, cheery, spastic-joker, and most precious brat he'd ever want to have for a long time, still.. Ekekke!! Ingat nak cakap tu tadik kat diorang.. but tak sempat pikir ayat! Ehheheh!
I'll be missing everyone kat MMU nihh.. SAYANG KORANG SMER!!! Yang laki pon Wanie sayang gak.. without you peeps, my sleepless night would be such a bore! Huwaaaaaaaaa!! Sakit dada laie.. sucky!!!

Missing oledi..

*Life is fine*
Really, it is.. though, I admit.. it can get crappy at some points.. but all in all.. it's still fine!
Last night was.. pretty.. umm.. ape ek? Cam, sedikit sebak. Showed Sheeya the vid clip with that song I made. Huhuu.. there were tears.. Ekkeke!! Klakar la gak.. mase tu Sheeya ingatkan tu menda ape.. Coz we switched off the lights and put on some candles.. so after she clicked the movie file, she went away from the screem screen and then she stopped.. When she heard the song, she went "eyh.." and sat on Ana's bed.. Ehheheh! Sebak la jugak.. after the clip, we sang it live to her.. but we all got the wrong lyrics and stuff.. kept stopping every now and then. Oyy, sebak aaa!!!
I didn't study a heck for Graphics! Just listened to my friends talking 'bout some of the topics.. well, then this morning.. honestly! I don't think the paper's that hard.. I mean, I don't know much of it.. so, why should i think it's hard?? Ekekke.. well, I have a weird way of thinking anyways!
Well.. err.. okaaay, I'm feeling a bit shaky right now.. tak tau nape.. since the last hour.. Macam nak kene makan je nihh.. Ekkekek!!

Your heart is playing tricks**

*Partly happy*
Creative Expression was fine!! Surprisingly fine!! So I thank Fina.. LOAAADS and LOAAADS for talking aloud last night! AHAHHAHA!! Thanks Finaaaa!! Muaaahhh!! Cayang Fina! And the gurls talked about CE through lunch.. so.. THANKS YOU GUYS!! Ana, Fina, BJ, Sheeya and Asha!! Yeyyeyy yeyyey! Korang sumer memang besh, tiada tandingan! Eyh.. eyh.. ade! But.. kadang-kadang takde! Ekkeke!!
Okehh.. thanks to Asha laie skali, sebab dia kasi lagu besh!!

The Cardigans - Communication

For twenty seven years I've been trying
To believe and confide in
Different people I found...

Some of them got closer than others,
And some wouldn't even bother,
And then you came around.

I didn't really know what to call you,
You didn't know me at all,
But I was happy to explain.

I never really knew how I'd move you,
So I tried to intrude through
The little holes in your veins.

And I saw you.
But that's not an invitation,
That's all I get,
If this is communication,
I disconnect...
I've seen you, I know you,
But I don't know how to connect,
So I disconnect...

You always seem to know where to find me,
And I'm still here behind you,
In the corner of your eye.

I never really learnt how to love you,
But I know that I love you,
Through the hole in the sky
Where I see you
And that's not an invitation,
That's all I get.
If this is communication,
I disconnect...
I've seen you, I know you,
But I don't know how to connect,
So I disconnect...

Well, this is an invitation,
It's not a threat,
If you want communication,
That's what you get.
I'm talking and talking,
But I don't know how to connect.

And I hold... a record for being patient
With your kind of hesitation.
I need you, you want me,
But I don't know how to connect,
So I disconnect,

I disconnect...

*sangat bosan itu last night*
-alpha one to alpha two-
The server was down down dooowwn last night in HB4. God!! It was such a bore!!
Spent the night convincing Fina to let me sleep but she hept kept talking to me about Expression and checks out if I was asleep. By the time we're done, my mood for sleeping was already gone. Cehh.. So I grabbed my trusty pen and paper and started the 'project' me and my friends planned earlier this week. Eheh! Actually I wrote a song last night.. klakar jek! Did it less than an hour, so imagine a reaaaaaally silly song. After writing the 'lyrics' I went up to grab Sheeya's guitar in her room, and managed to get a tune soon afterwards! Ngee~ Then, me and Ana and Fina tried it out.. and somehow my fingers felt like crap. Hurts so bad last night! ..and I played like crap as well..! Blueekkk! Maybe I should stick to the tamborine.. Ehhehe!!
The finals has been.. I don't know! Just had our Maths last Monday.. and it was horrible!! ..not going to say more than that. Yesterday, had that Alpha showcase. Huhuuu.. I don't know what to say.. But it was fun taking pictures! Ehhehhee!!
I wonder.. why am I having my kicks from artsy stuff?? Huu.. Gosh! I'm so different from my family..
-over-

What would I do.. lonely as you.. *Foo Fighters*

*waaaaaaaaaaahh~!*
Haven't been posting for so sooo long!! Just send in my journal.. kinda sad, really. Have been getting so attached to it! Been putting the things I didn't really say aloud.. Been putting loads of my thoughts in that book.. Aiyyaaakk!! Why the h* did I do it in a book?!! Kan daaaahh!!
Huhuuu.. so anyways, after seven months, I finally threw something once 'precious' to me.. But since it had no use what so ever to me anymore.. I finally decided to get rid of it! Hahhahah!! And honestly, I don't feel anything about not having it around!! Aaaah~ *taps my own head*
Neways.. been writing too much stuff in my journal, that there's nothing much left to be talked about.. so.. later~

Please erase me from your heart*

*PEMBERITAHUAN*
Okay, in case you've noticed that I haven't been posting up much these days.. well, it's due to some facts that's been happening around me lately. Number one, I had that 203 error thingy been bugging my blog on few occasion when I wanted to post some entries.. so, better I just try my best to control myself from posting up so much on the blog. Number two, I've been spending my time to write in my MLE journal!! Bluekk.. though, I have to say, I really like my journal!! It's been reflecting much of my life.. so, of course I'm getting myself attached to it! ^_^ Number three, I'm getting afraid if I'll write what I have in mind at the very moment I'm writing a blog. Might sound too much depressed and I'd get some peeps worried or ask too much questions, walhal.. I'm VERY much fine! Just a bit question in my head... ^_^
So! That's why I haven't been posting lately.. just leave it like that for a while, okie! I may get back to it somewhere next week 'coz I'll be sending in the MLE journal this coming Friday..

L* Pt. 5 (Last part*)

"Daddy, what is love? And don't tell me that I'm too young to understand it."
Daddy still looked at me with a bright smile upon his face. "Truth is, you have to find it out yourself, honey. No simple words can really explain love. You have to experience it yourself."
"That's the thing, daddy. I thought I've understood it."
"You have?"
"Yeah.. I thought I found the explaination for it. How it felt.. but.."
"But?"
"Is love not forever? Will it leave us within time? Will I crave for it's pleasantness and hurtfulness all my life, only to be left by it in the end? Is this how's it gonna be, daddy? I've been telling myself not to fall in love, but I did! It hurts so much, and yet.. I still wish for it to come again, daddy! Is there an explaination for this? Is there a logical reason for me, wanting to be hurt again?"
Right then, daddy hugged me close. It was so calming and comforting, yet.. my mind was still thinking about the mystery of love.
"There's no exlpaination for it, honey. That's how human are. Everyone wants to love and to be loved. Only the lucky ones get to be loved until the end of their lives. Until they die.. but their loved one will be left with the memory of their love. Even when their love stays forever.. the 'reason' for that love will leave us, honey and at that point, love won't be the same anymore. Yes, honey.. love will leave us no matter how. But it might stay until the end of your life."
"Daddy, I wish I never loved you.. I know that it's impossible, but I couldn't bare the thought of not having you around."
"Hey, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
"I wish to die, then.."
"You still have a full life ahead of you. You'll find your love."
"I wish not to! It hurts.. so badly!"
"You will, whether you like it or not and at that moment, you'll be thankful that it came by.."

Daddy, you may be right.. but I still wish not to fall in love again. It may be pleasant but it hurts badly, daddy. You were so strong, and I admire you for that. Maybe.. maybe I'll be just like you one day. Even when love left me, I'd still be standing to face the world.
Excuse me.. I'm just 18, aren't I? Ahahhahha!!

L* Pt. 4

"Oww!!"
I really punched his face and it felt great!
"That was the lamest reason to break me up, you dumbass! You lost the spark? So have I, but I just waited y'know! I was willing to make this work, somehow. And what, you think by treating me this ice cream will make me feel better? Here, have your ice cream!" And I squashed the cone right on his face.
Before I left, I managed to kick him once more.
"I regret the day I confessed to you!" He yelled at me and I spun to face him.
"And I regret the day I thought I loved you!" And I can't help running away.. crying.

"You could've been dumber.." I ran to see my girl friend. I don't think it would be wise to cry in front of a guy.
"I thought crying for a guy would've been the dumbest!"
"Nope.. it'd be the dumbest if you begged him to stay."
"Humm.. point taken. But I feel so hopeless.."
"And you punched and kicked him! That wasn't dumb at all!"
"Yeah, you're right.."
"And I know you weren't really ready for him anyways."
"Excuse me?"
"You still hang out with us more than you do with him. That's not really a sign of readiness.."
And I just nodded. She's right.. I wasn't really ready to stop hanging out with my girl friends, so why did I commit myself to it on the first place? Idiot!
"And hey.."
"Yeah?"
"You rock even more without him, y'know! You won't have to cover up if you wish to look at other guys!"
"Hahha!! I know.. thanks!" And I hugged her.
She's been such a terrific friend ever since I got to know her. She's witty, smart, respectable and appreciatable. Couldn't imagine life without her! Err.. I'm not turning into a lesbo, am I? But now it got me thinking.. how should I tell him? My guy friend. Ouch! This is going to hurt more than having a bowling ball dropped onto my feet.

Remind me again.. love sucks!