songs about yous..

(be warned, this will be a long one..)

heehee. happy holidays mmu peeps!
and to those who are studying in uitm and uia.. welcome back to school! (if you let me call it that!)

so i've been in a spin, thinking of what i wanted to write for the end of the semester coz i usually have something. i've been having this little patches of things but when i write them out, they only came in.. well, patches! ekkeke.
seems like i've been losing any sort of motivation to write but wait a minute.. that's IMPOSSIBLE! ekekke!
so i've been uninspired since the couple of weeks.. but the weeks' rest ought to buy me some time for one possibly.. probably "good" entry, right?
(good? who am i kidding??)

i read my old diaries the week before i had my exams.. and god! i wish i could get a goood barrel of steel and matches and light them up and watch them all burn.. ahhahah!! you know, you thought a diary would help you 'catch your thoughts' and 'remind you of important accounts'. but when i read those diaries.. i can only shout aloud, "O MY GOD!!!"
what an embarrassment!! thank god no one ever found and read them! ekkekeke!
it's just funny.. and embarrassing to remember what i thought was important when i was thirteen. ekekke. idiot.

and then i found out how i've been getting myself in the same sticky situation over.. and over.. and over again since many years ago! and what's weird is how i've been thinking that it was always the first time i feel it when i felt it. (am i making any sense here?)
so really.. nothing has ever been new.. truly new in my life. the same things just keeps happening, but with different people.
maybe it really is true.. subconciously, we keep falling in 'love' with the same person. the same sort, at least. kinda frustrating when i think about it, so i better stop!

so anyways, those diaries got me thinking about songs..
alike my blog, i wrote down my favorite lyrics down in my diaries.
i have a particular song for almost everyone it seems! and that, i have to say is a baad unintended move. i mean, now when i don't want to remember about someone.. i would just think about them when i hear the song. and that's baaadd!!

the thing about songs.. i also hate it when someone 'steals' it from me. i know that's a stupid thing to say since the song was never "mine", but i just hate it! i hate it when someone relates a song to a person, with the song i relate the same person with. hahahha! i think i'm really making no sense. it's just.. i hate the feeling of being like.. 'another one'. i mean, that's how I relate to the person.. so how can someone else relate the same song to that person?? that would suck a lot.

but gladly!! somehow i just can't seem to relate my favorite, most favorite song to anyone i know. heehee! somehow. and that's awesome!! i can enjoy a good, perfect song without anyone being able to 'steal' it or being interrupted with the thoughts of someone i probably.. actually.. hate.
just hopefully it'll stay that way 'til the rest of my life..
or when i found someone who i couldn't possibly hate. well, that's a lie. there's always something to hate. (for me, at least!)
i find it hard to like everything about someone. you can like them for anything, but to like everything is doubtful. so that line up there ought to be; "when i found someone who i couldn't hate too much". heehee.

so that's partly a confession.. i have a song that relates best to almost everyone.
someone once said to me that a song only relates to you as much as you want it to. well, that person was right. a song couldn't possibly be written completely about you unless you wrote them yourself. but sometimes, a song can really.. just simply be talking about someone.

so here's a song that has been caught up in my head for the last couple of days. i finally found the perfect little song, and this IS about someone.

Follow You Down by Gin Blossoms

Did you see the sky, I think it means that we've been lost
Maybe one less time is all we need
I can't really help it if my tongue's all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge, it's just the farthest that I've ever been

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

I know we're headed somewhere, I can see how far we've come
But still, I can't remember anything
Let's not do the wrong thing and I swear it might be fun
It's a long way down when all the knots we've tied have come undone

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

How you gonna ever find your place
Runnin' in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us lying face down in the sand
So what the hell, have we already been forever damned?

Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
Anyplace, but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I'll follow you down
I'll follow you down, but not that far

so here's a week in the holidays.
a few plans has been lined up. just a question if it's going to happen. people to see, places to go and yes, things to shop! (cheer cheer!!!)
i miss my fiance!! and hanis.. and musz.
and i can't wait to see dayat!! aaaiiiyyyyyyyyyeee!! i need february to come early. heehee.
errkk! but that reminds me that i promised fiance something. (but he knows me so well, he probably didn't count on that i'll do as promised. hahhahaha!)
it's just great when you have those people that just knows you to the core. (but they're horrible to have when you're trying to hide something!)

and finally!! have an awesome time, people!!!
i'm going to crack my brain on a favor for dida now.

seven shades of blue.

ain't that pretty?

anyways.. currently feeling quite fine.
going to have my final paper in 2 hours and i am HORRIFIED!!
i hope i'll do okay.. especially since i need to get full marks if i want to confirm a pass! ahhahahah!! gilok.

i just realize last night.. that my sadness had turned to anger long time ago. it's.. sad. hohoho. well, i suppose i just hate that feeling of losing. it feels awful and i hate it! thus, i got mad and just got angry with almost anything that ticked me even just a lil'.
but i'm okay now.
things... doesn't seem so big as i made them now. :)

so yesterday i was in the car when i looked up to the sky and saw seven beautiful shades of blue. and what's more amazing.. the moon could be seen at 5:54 pm! i mean.. that's EARLY!
sigh. i love sitting in the car.
i think if i have a driver's liscence (spelling?) and own a car.. i'd spend my whole day just driving around. :)

okay! better revise some things now.
but this coffee is making me jumpy. eeeek!

o - my - GOD!!!

this must be one of the most horrible feelings i've ever felt!!
there's even a sickly pain in my tummy.
you know what?
MENYAMPAHHH!!!
urghhh!! GOD!!

i may be wrong for the second time..
the first time i was SO wrong that it's really really embarassing.. but this time.. i really doubt that i'm making the same related mistake.
o crap.

i am now officially ashamed for being such a stupid stupid stupid git!!
i wonder if i'm simply simply wrong for..
huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
i really really wanna cry now.

how did i get this stupid???
for thinking that things were about to change...
they were always the same, weren't they?
so i'll be detaching myself now..

here goes my heart.
breaking up to pieces so small..
that it can pass through the eye of a needle.
i guess i'm sorry.

sorry for putting such hope on a single star..
a star that i thought shone bright for me.
when truthfully it has always been there.
shining for someone else to see..

hey stranger!

i think i'll miss you forever...

I wish I could hold a billboard above my head..

..for every single time i see you :)

so have you ever done something wrong.. VERY wrong.. but it's sinfully good that you just can't help yourself from doing it again.. and possibly again?

life is weird,
life is scary.
and yet it's wonderful as well!

so how is it possible that you can love and hate at the same time?
i find the answer easy.. though i couldn't say the same for compromising with it.

here's a simple explanation;
all things on earth were created as a couple.

there's always a mate to each other.
a positive and negative in everything.
adam-eve, anod-katod, yin-yang, mars-venus, happy-sad and sure..
love and hate.

how can you love when you don't understand hate?
only in hate, can you understand what you love.
only in love and hate, can you feel the ultimatum of emotions.

(hehhe.. cakap cam pandai!)

but honestly! i believe in that.
i believe that to love.. you must hate.
and only then you'd understand.. possibly everything.

the end of merepek! :P
(well sure i have lots more to say.. but it's best for you to just 'understand' them)

i find everything pretty amusing lately..
i look back to my life and think about now, to realize how things have really changed. i've done some things i've never thought of doing before and i've found new things i wanted to do now..
my thoughts have really changed in due time.. (though i can't confirm that it's growing MATURE) but i've always felt the same.
always. always. always...

but anyways! i am thinking of writing something else 'serious' during the coming school break, along with a new layout (that ONLY looks good when i think of it) so if you're looking forward to things like that, keep your fingers crossed!!
i know i am! ekkeke!

so in conjuction of the festivities..
happy deepavali
to those who celebrates them, and

SLAMAT HARI RAYA!!
to all my friends, buddies, pals and fellow readers! hope you have a good one and enjoy every moment of it!

and yeah.. HAVE FUN IN THE SCHOOL BREAK! and to mmu peeps.. GOOD LUCK for the exam!!! ahhahahah!

[originally written on 1:11am]

i am HOPELESS!! it frustrates me!! stupid stupid stupid!!
you see, if i had managed to lose my feelings, i could've stopped feeling oh so measly since.. long ago!
i suppose everyone has their own 'pattern'. (saw a neat episode of sex and the city earlier today) and i think i DO have a pattern.
i have the pattern of a person that keeps on longing for the unattainable someone. it's like, i'm pleading to be broken-hearted, or be kept wondering.. or left waiting.. or just, i don't know!! i said aloud that i want to be 'smarter' and yet, i couldn't pass up the chance to be called 'stupid'. that's just.. plain dumb!
dumb dumb dumb!!!

urrgghhhhh!!!!!

probably i radiate some sort of a 'safe' character that people can pick up the smell like garlic in someone's breath. maybe a 'safe' person just reflects that bit of boredom.
heck! even i ran from it some years ago! (and still am) ahahhaha!! it's a bit unfair of me to judge people for it. but maybe everyone just needs less and less of that 'safe' personality.

in my thoughts.. someone safe is a someone whom you're supposed to get married with, live in a big bungalow, have a dozen children and live happily for the rest of your life.
and i don't want to get married just yet.
and i guess you're not ready for that either...

how i wish you are.. and ask for my hand tomorrow.
ahhahhaha!!

ps: no, i'm not depressed nor am i crazy, i just have a lot of lame
thoughts.
i think i am missing rai 'coz he appeared in my dream some nights ago. (and i read that when you dream of someone, it's probably your subconcious mind letting you know that you miss that person, and that you conciously didn't realize it. cute, huh?)

guuuud morning!!

okie. so i KINDA just got back from a well-spent night!!

it started when i went to my bed, trying to get a bit of shut eye 'coz i have nothing else better to do. then somewhere around 6:20pm i got a phonecall asking me things about how i'd break-fast today.. and he then asked if i wanna come along with him.. and me.. seperti biase lah kann! NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKK!!
ekkeke! at 6:30.. i met up with abang yau, ablen, their cousin; boy, and hafiz! so of course, by the time for break-fast, we're still in the car. but then we stopped in UM to pick up mimi (crammed the backseat!!) who brought up a weird cincau-like drink for us to break-fast. :D

so then we had our real break-fast in midvalley. we were done somewhere around 8.. stood around some bits as we decide how are we going to waste some time. then somehow we decided to catch a movie at 11:15pm! (and there goes mimi's choir practise at 9! ekkeke!) so we had pleeeennnnty of time to waste. i tagged along mimi and hafiz; did some bits of window shopping.. and then get back to the rest and went bowling!! ekekkeke!

tak tahan laa.. rase nak baling something kat abang yau. ekkeke! mimi was sooo close to beat him but in the end, abang yau won the game in difference of 10 points with mimi. and i, sadistically was last place with only 82 points! ahhahahah!! lembu. (kasi can ekk.. lama dah tau tak main!! ekkekeke!) bowling was really fun, though.

then we "loiter" some more, (i believe that would be hafiz' favorite word) in front of mcd there until it's time for us to get to the cinema! :)
had some laughs before the show starts.. and laughs is GOOD! :P
we saw TAXI and it was fun!! well, at least i thought so. but i think the blooper part at the end was even sillier. (does this word exist??) o well, i think the movie was good enough! :D i have always loved queen latifa's character in most of the movies she's in. :)

then we crammed back in the car and sent off mimi back to her college.. and then me! so here i am.. yapping about things that don't really matter when i probably should sketch some things for tomorrow's philosophy class! hohohoho!

so, thank you guys for the good evening!!
especially abang yau!! maybe sebab dah lama tak jumpe? ececcee! ekkekeke! tengkiuuukk!!
so.. after a good evening spent, there's no better way for it to be followed than by a GOOD NIGHT!!

ohh! been hearing this song too darn much everytime i go to the movies.. but honestly, i DO love abba! heehee. and i LOVE this song. :)

Mamma Mia by ABBA

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

"thanks for the sex."

ekkeke. that was such a twisted line.
twisted!!

the night turned out to be quite cool lah!
so i was picked up around 6:15, crammed myself between mama and papa at the back seat of the car, and dozed off for quite sometime somehow. (seems like i've been doing too much of that lah lately! ekekkeke!) waking up at the right moment of break-fast, (papa and nina already bought rations earlier) and realize how i'm still treated like a kid; papa let me be the first one to the drink. ekekkeke! so there we were, in the car, almost at the center of the town, eating rotiboy, kuih lapis and other 15-seconds-of-fame-in-ramadhan kuihs, :D as we pondered why seremban roads are still packed with cars.
you see, in shah alam.. by 6:50.. (during ramadhan lah!) every major roads would be practically empty! it's probably even safe to sit right on the road. heehee. well, most probably 'coz shah alam is really just HOUSES and everyone's already inside getting prepared for break-fast. :)

arrived in nina's place, being greeted by the birthday girl, who sat right at the doorway looking confused. ekekke! so we had a proper dinner, sang izzati that traditional birthday song (though she'd surely don't understand - but grinned her two front teeth anyways) and simply lie around. me and nina got to work on that puzzle a bit as well. hehhe! cam addicted to get it done! :)

got back here again around 11, and fussed about my darned computer which somehow wasn't connected to the internet as the other computers!! frustrating indeed.
then lily said she was going out to become a cetti so i had to come along! :D saw majin in hb1 and somehow he got into the car and followed us home. (not before stopping by dar and fakhrul's house first)

so there we were.. in front of the telly.. watching sex and the city with illia (housemate. hope i spelled her right!) ekekkeke, with the occasional rosie and lily who made spaghetti too! ekekkeke!

so it's five o'clock, and i better start figuring out what the heck i'm supposed to do for later today's resubmission for that philosophy essay.. sheesh~!

words are just words, dear.

haven't had the same kind of ache like today for a while..
and i never liked the feeling, so please.

i suppose i had too much unimportant things caught up in my head that i forgot what today is..
EPPY BIRTHDAY IZZATI~!!!
one whole year! heehee~!

so i'll be off to nina's place to celebrate budak kecik ngade!!

it's what i can't say, dear.

tonight.

*yawn*

super sleepy somehow. so here's the familiar people i saw tonight:
ablen (hehhe!), hafiz, mimi (right?), lina teoh (who looked horrible without make up!), this one mmu guy i've already forgotten the name, abang amir (who waved from across that big circle of 3rd floor in midvalley), dar, fakhrul and mas of AF2 (which looked surprisingly pleasant in person!)

fate is playing games with me.
stop it, fate!

Fields Of Innocence by Evanescence

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings
Were clouded by what I know now

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun
Always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now

Where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything
Oh where, where has my heart gone
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

dah. gudnite world~!

how do you tame a centaur, dear?

that angst is building up again.

i'm proud.. and stubborn.
i'm hating the person i'm becoming, but i can hate you even more.

go away. give up. whatever.
just leave me alone now.
for a moment.
at least.

the world is black, dear.

remind me how much i adore good charlotte!! :P
klakar.. slalu download lagu banyak banyak, tapi end up listening to the same old songs!
this is one of the very few cute songs i absolutely LOVE! (hear hear!)

The World Is Black by Good Charlotte

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day and
No one really knows why this is happening
But it's happening
And everywhere you go it's just a different place
You get the same dark feeling
See the same sad faces
No one really cares that this is happening

We come into this world
And we all are the same
In that moment there's no one to blame

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen

Living in this place it's always been this way
There's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed
And I can't live when this world just keeps dying
It's dying
People always tell me this is part of the plan
That God's got everybody in his hands
But I can only pray that God is listening
Is he listening?

We're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

But the world is black
And hearts are cold
And there's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
It won't be the same
Forever changed
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

We come into this world
And we all are the same
And in that moment there's no one to blame
But we're living in this world
Growing colder everyday
Nothing can stay perfect now I see

The world is black
And hearts are cold
There's no hope
That's what we're told
And we can't go back
(We can't go back)
It won't be the same
(It won't be the same)
Forever changed
(What will ever change)
By the things we've seen, seen, seen

Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight
You see the same damn thing it's just a different day
And no one really knows why this is happening

class today took such a long time!! we (ara, yoges, lini and myself) weren't able to complete the task by 6:20 and by that time, we're already itching in our sits to go out and prepare for break-fast! hehhe!
and farizu told us to get something and get back to the lab.. break-fast with most of the peeps, watching SIN CHAN THE MOVIE! ahhahaha!! tak tahann.. he was practically promoting it, so we just HAVE to laugh at it.
so i had break-fast at chicken rice shop in alamanda. habes!! woo~hoo! tak membazir, bagus! :D so, tengkiuk incik ablen!

kepala tengah pusing pusing.
help, i need to yap!

i'm never ready, dear.

had quite a good weekend.
so good that i'm actually putting my future in danger. hohoho!
gile.

anyways, weekend!!
can't exactly remember what i did for the last three days.. except for the dreams i had! huhuu.

but i DID - me and family, that is - went to see nina in seremban. it's been FIVE weeks since i last saw izzati and she's got her two front teeth!!! totemo kawaii!!!!!!! ekkeke!! but she's having a bit of a fever, so cam tak best sangat main ngan dia. she keeps on merengek merengek, and i don't exactly speak baby-tongue so i just don't know what she wants!
pastu buka pizza!! HO-HO-HO!
and nina's tummy is getting more obvious.. but she's still the nina i know. :D haihhh~! and we both spent some time doing this pretty big puzzle of 101 Dalmatians while dida nags at our sides until papa shouted it's time to head home. huhuuu. tak best!!

okie! dah tatau nak tulis ape dah.
hope today will be just as wonderful as yesterday.. :D

Only One by Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

love this song!!
especially when he really shouts! hahhaha!

ps to a girl i wish not to know: TOLONGLAAAHHHH!!!!

matter of fact.

1. some things are better left unsaid.
2. i lie sometimes; when i'm scared or i just want to dodge the topic.
3. gotta stop putting on hold of things!
4. haven't done that handphone assignment that's supposedly be submitted on mondayy!!

5. i have nothing else to say simply because.. some things ARE better left unsaid!

Blinded by Third Eye Blind

Just an old friend coming over
Now to visit you and
That's what I've become
I let myself in
Though I know I'm not supposed to but
I never know when I'm done
And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor around your body glistens in the shower
And I wanna stay right here
And go down on you for an hour
And stay and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication
Take the moment of hope
And let it run
And never look back
At all the damage we have done now
To each other
To each other
To each other

But when I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
And I'm blinded
There's nothing left to do
and still I see you

I never believe that things that they happen for a reason
And they never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned
But you're past where you understand
Now her appetite is blown
Little else is known
'Cept she's a little angry
Grabs a towel, looks away
The heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say
oh something clean, let me be clever
Hey oh well, whatever
But that's not what I mean
Where we've been has left us burnt still
I wont turn now from a fight
You know I'll never win

So when I see you
you know all the things I've done
and I am blinded
Like I'm staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
It's like I'm staring down the sun
Yeah!

Time it passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me, I'm a fool spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you
Icarus is not a t-shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and
It's not easy being me
When I can't promise I will mend
Or bend when you believe
That we are fixed now from our birth
And I've just fallen back to earth
Still you know I'll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden
We have stolen manners in the days when we were one

So when I see you
In spite of all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
I'm still staring down the sun
Oh yeah
Well I'm still staring down the sun
I'm blinded when I see you

hanging by a moment.

see..
the good thing about the bad things in life is how it makes you appreciate more of the better things.

i suppose life teaches us.
i question about so many things and i'm getting the answers to it one by one.
and i still have a lot to be thankful for right now though things keep going downhill these days. :)

i think i've had too much of revising my past that it feels weird now to think how much it has changed.
what ever it is, i hope that even when i can't get back up after falling too much to the ground.. i could still believe. i wish to believe for the rest of my life..

unconcious mutterings:
(lamanye tak buat)

Dimension:: mechanical desktop
Roger:: walkie-talkie
CSI:: that lab guy
Passenger:: bus
Thankful:: you
Has-been:: something
Bambino:: bimbo
Wrinkles:: face
Cable TV:: astro
Voicemail:: beep!

"Try to reason about love , and you will lose your reason to love." -(some French proverb)
that was what i meant to say.

clueless.

you know the feeling when things got horrible and you said to yourself, "things can't possibly go worse," but it DID and now you don't know what else you can say to yourself?
heehee. i think i am having that feeling, but i'm not stressing.
i'm surprisingly relaxed, to be quite honest.. and that's weird! ekkekeke!

anyways.. in liking of this song!!
speaks a bit of me for the time being. :)

Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan

I love the time and in between
the calm inside me
in the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
distance I have wandered
to touch upon the years of
reaching out and reaching in
holding out holding in

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as I can be
left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
passing through like liquid
I'm drunk in my desire
but I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near
I believe

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

The quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
to live my life the way I feel is right for me
might not be right for you but it's right for me

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
if I choose to
would you understand it
would you try to understand

btw, tengkiuk fariz, dar and azrin for letting me tag along!
heyy fariz, i finally get to ride your car lahh! :P

still sleepy laa, but i have class at 2!

papalapalapaa.

monday.
the start of a new week.
the end of weekends.
the end of lying around, asking people to get me anything.
ahhahahaha!!

:|
just why i dislike monday than the rest of the days in the week.

and so it's tuesday. just tuesday..
spent the night with 3 guys just now!
watched bourne supremacy with dar, ablen and ablen's friend; hafiz. (is it?) ekkeke! i actually didn't catch his name. :P

mengantuk laa already. while in the car i thought of some things i want to do in life;

1. walk through the Louvre
2. get onto a hot air balloon
3. get back my thumbdrive from dar!! (berikannya padakuuu~!)

heehee! there's more of course! but i haven't figured it out. :D
anyways, liking this simple song;
Don't I Hold You by Wheat

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
And don't I treat you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

Don't I hold you like you want to be held?
Don't I please you like you want?
And don't I love you like you want to be loved
And you're running away

And what's your name
Like I'm in the way

We waste too much time

Don't I?
Don't I hold you like you want?

gudnite everyone~!

o yeah.. honesty is the best policy! :P
thanks friend for making me feel as comfortable as i possibly can with you. :) you know you wouldn't really have to wait for days to tell me that :P thanks. again! :D

sungguh kurang sopan.

kerna satu email yang sungguh menyentuh hati.
grrr!!

remind me to jentik someone when i see him for getting me a headache.

he sends email > i read it > i cried > head aches!

grr!! X(
bencikk!

monday is a... dislikable day!

it iss!!
for starters, no one bothered to wake me up for sahur this morning 'coz they all thought i wouldn't be fasting today, though i said i would! grrr! sampai ati!
and now, at 11:26 AM, i'm already HUNGRY!!
betul betul tak pose karaang, baru tahu!

and mama.. (hahhaa! seperti biase) always ticks me off one way or another. grrr!
i'm such a bad daughter, i knowww.. but i can't help at being angry for even measly things, and yes, my temper wouldn't care even if it's my mother. hmmph!!

nina's presence helps though.. :D even for a while.
rindunye sama izzati!
nina might be expecting a baby girl, she said. and i like the name she proposed if it's really a girl! heehee! :x

and have you ever had too much similarities to someone that it's just possible that you were siblings before separated during birth or something??
ahahhahaha!! merepek.
i am such a pathetic. (actually trying to make myself feel better about something)

okay. kinda sleepy really.
kul 2 kene gi model making ke? dahlaa cam nak ujan ni! :-S

hehh geramm!

grrr.

1. no electricity last night all of a sudden, as i was starting my CAD homework.
2. having a problem getting to sleep after a short nap 'coz i can't stand waking up.
3. unappreciated? (at least i feel so)
4. weird dream. weird weirrrd dream. grrr!!
5. still sleepy.
6. have no idea how to do this 4th exercise on this homework!!! cemane nieee???
7. troubled by the idea of 2 assignments to submit next week.
8. still can't figure out how to get this 4th exercise done!
9. esok puase? puase ke?? (ramadhan is getting me nervous somehow..)
10. should get my work done if i wanna go back home this evening, shouldn't i?

11. can't i have my very own jason wade pleaaasee???

Everybody Is Someone by Lifehouse

stumbling I fall away it's hard to make a change
easy to be who you are when no one knows your name
walking past the lonely walls with eyes as cold as stone
climb inside the emptiness it's safe when you're alone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

all this time you lived alone without a memory
built your life upon the ground that sinks beneath your feet
step outside the misery for once you feel alive
second chances only come around once in a life

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone

don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just look around
everybody is someone
everybody is someone