I adore!

I think this is one of the best-est songs I've heard this year.

[embeded file removed! sorry!]

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have its seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Long to hold you in my arms
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Now I just can't stop listening to it over and over again..

In the spirit of a real hussy.

Fickle I am.

Went back to Isetan today. (Well, yesterday now) But I no longer remember the face of the guy I minorly fond of on Thursday. haha! Ickin' idiot.
But I did talked to this one customer who was especially nice and especially charming looking!! heehee. I'm forgetting his exact looks now, but I remember how I liked him at that moment!!
*sigh*
Cute guys with good English are definitely my vice. Definitely. Just can't help it. Simply.. definitely.

A shout out (although I'm quite certain it wouldn't be heard) to my fellows who'll be working today; Kak Wati, Lilian, Chai Ling and Mimie! Happy to know that neither of them will be sent off to get stressed out on Isetan, Level 2. heeheee.
Couldn't help feeling sorry for Chai Ling and Lillian who had been, on Thursday and Friday. They seemed so gloom everytime I went to look up on them while I was on my break.

Day off today! Thank God, too! Would hate to share the bus and train with those "party people" who will be looking forward to the new year's festivities around the city.
Plus, I love Saturday! House rerun! ekkeke!

Dida sent some photos today. I'm sharing this one 'cause I couldn't help loving it! It's the bridge in Rotterdam; considered the landmark there.


Aaah 2005.
Such fond memories it has been.
I am sort of looking forward to the new year! Can't say why.. *wondering blissfully*

Goodnight everyone!

Perseverance.

Yesterday actually.. read about Steven Spielberg in January's Reader's Digest.
It's amazing what one's perseverance can lead them to. As for Spielberg, he had always knew what he wanted to do (plus point right there!) Had always carried around his 8mm camera. Even dropped out of secondary school until his parents persuaded him to return.
I thought the short article was rather.. inspiring. Not about the dropping out of course; just the part where he had always wanted to film things.. And that part about him sneaking into Universal Studios.. hilarious! You got to read the article.

Somewhat unwell today. Probably because of the lack of sleep. Although I was moody most of the day, I couldn't help feeling amused at the two guys at the Isetan Supermarket. I guess I'm not so mean after all. Couldn't help smiling at strangers even though I wasn't feeling too great.
But.. the fact that one of those guys weren't bad looking might have helped! ekkeke! He said; "Come again!"
OKAAYYY!!!

Now trying to learn the guitar to Aly & AJ's No One.
Can't help it.. I just adore the song!

Oooh~ Today I saw Eoin Colfer's latest book!! An Artemis Fowl series!! Eeeeeek!!!!! Gotta have it soon!! Gotta gotta!!

January's work schedule much more relaxed.. yeayyyy!! Oddly looking forward to that. (the WORK, I mean.)

Neat day!!

Well.. a much better day than the days I've had before. (at least for the past 2 weeks!)
I thought it was nice to be able to wake up late for work. heehee. Although going back home at 10 was a bit tiring. *sigh* And my mom.. my mom worried so much that she actually WAITED until it was time for me to go home. It's a mix between over-protective and over-bearing. HAHAHAHAH!!
Had the L1 shift with Angel, which was neat! I like her a lot actually! She's 18 and lives in Taman Sri Muda.

Tonight's bus driver was amusing. I was trying to pay for tickets when he suddenly asked me to smile. I didn't see the harm in that, so I smiled! He then sighed and said something that goes like: "you're pretty.." I said thanks and walked back towards my mom (already in a seat) while I heard the man sighed again. hohhohok! Funny.

Tired now. But pretty hungry. Gonna eat the instant mee that my dad made me. heehee.
G'nite people!!

Love Hurts.

Sure they do!

Anyways, nothing much to say except the fact that my favourite episode of House was on AXN tonight!! eeeeek! Okay.. it was one of my favourite episodes.


Getting the late shift tomorrow. yikes!! Would probably arrive home at 11:30. double yikes!! Gonna lie down now. My whole body aches, and I really should update on my life in my journal. hohhohok!
My life has seemed to be on pause in there.
*sigh* Really need more time to myself.

ooh! Credits to oneirophobic for the cap and Theresa for the ones I've put up before. heehee. And I'm not going to share their links because I'm simply selfish!

Auburn Brown.

My new shade of hair. heh!
My mom asked if I had wanted to finish up her extra hair colouring since her hair is pretty thin and it'd be such a waste to just throw it away, so I said - yeah!!
So now I have the same shade of hair as my mother. Well, not exactly! Her shade is lighter from the greying hair. heehee.

Okay.. got nothing more to say.
I'm boring.. I know.

Of course you are..

Should probably have a decent update, yeah?
Well I don't!
But you should know that today is a better day than yesterday...

And please note that I don't hate my job.
I just hate the to and fro.

Jolly Christmas everyone!

Really REALLY pissed.

Happened to run to a rather rude mamak as I was walking towards the bus station from work. Note: I'm not being racist. I'm simply giving out the particulars of the guy who pissed me earlier. He was a mamak, with love handles, rather short, and has a woman-like voice. When I think about it, the person could have actually been a very man-like lady. O well, who cares! I don't! As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind at all if that particular mamak just DIE! Maybe I should light a fire at the very spot where he stood. Stupid friggin' idiot!

Then there was rain.. I really don't mind the rain. I LIKE rain. But I was in the bus.. and there was a leak on it's roof. Well, you do the math.
And a certain person promised to come pick me up with an umbrella from the bus stand.. well, the person didn't came. Empty promises. What a surprise.

Really really upset.
Really REALLY.
Couldn't even pretend to write about the nice things that happened today.

Disorganized thoughts.

eek! December's ending! I haven't quite figured out next months layout! egaad! I think it's slightly frustrating that now I've been working.. I hardly have any time left to think. Well, maybe because I've never been a very good thinker anyways that I just find it even harder to slip a thought in.
I told Pei Sun (the supervisor!) that I wish to work for only four days come January but she said January is a busy month as well - and that Jesse (?) (bigger boss at the office in Kerinchi) would want a real excuse for having such request.
Apparently the others; Chai Ling, Angel, Liyana, Mimi (co part-timers) only works 2-3 days a week because they're still studying.
Yeah yeahh.. too bad for me. Now I'm tempted to go back to school! ahahhaha!!

Maybe they'll let me change my schedule in February. Hopefully. I really wish to have the time to lie down and think, instead of squeezing in a thought while I was shampooing my hair. And I'd like to be able to write like a decent sane woman instead of trying to keep my handwritings readable as I was writing in a particularly ancient bus.

Pei Sun was really nice today.. She bought all of us a Christmas pressie! Me like very much! It was a little bag of cookies and a small cute cup. I can never say no to sugar!! heehee.
Just this week I'm practising an all-fat diet. Really awesome!
You know what they say about emotional-eaters? The ones who stuffed themselves because they were upset or depressed? Well, of course I'm upset about Dida not being here to hover around me and nag, but really.. getting to eat as much sugar as you want for a mere reason of depression?? THIS IS THE LIFE! ekkekeke!!
I had ice cream on Wednesday (an Oreo McFlurry to be exact!), chocolates on Thursday (Kinder Bueno and TWIX!) and a chocolate sundae and some cookies on Friday! I've never felt happier in my life!
Note: fat and sugar is the PERFECT way to sabotage yourself.

Was just thinking about what I'm going to do with my first pay. It's not much, but still! I could buy some things with the money. Of course, the practical way is to reload my Touch 'N Go or my phone or to let it "grow" in the bank, but really! My insides just screams that I should spend every cent of it on silly things so I'd remember it for the rest of my life!
I actually have a couple of ideas..
1. that McFLY songbook I found at the shelf in Kino for piano, vocals and guitar. Although I might never actually play their songs as it was meant to be played, it should feel great to own a piece of them! (downside: the book costs RM114)
2. had always wanted one o' those take-away coffee flasks. (downside: RM60+ well, could probably found one that's cheaper.. but do I have to?)
3. treat my good friends at a really nice place!! (downside: they didn't get me anything for my birthday!! And with food, you won't have much memory of it since you'll flush them away by the next day.)
4. get that new Cecelia Ahern's book! (downside: it's not out in pocket size yet! Would hate to carry around an A5-like story book. And it's RM60+. Should probably buy two books with the same price!)
5. finally get a decent, nice, something for Dida's belated pressie and send it off to Rotterdam. (downside: err.. naaaah! I'm too selfish for that! ekkekeke!)

O well, I'll decide once I cash in the cheque. Will tell how the outcome goes..
As for now, I better go to sleep. Getting the early shift tomorrow. Can't afford to be late - AGAIN! (I keep on getting in late, it's awful!)

Quite a day...

Got the late shift today.. so I ended up getting home at 11:30. Feel sorry for Mama who had waited for me at Central.

Dida has settled in her apartment. She told Papa that she fits in fine over there.

Today at work, I spoke to some Nihonjin (Japanese). Well.. I talked to just one, actually.. I mostly used sign language with the other. I seriously needed help with that guy! Horrible! Simply horrible. The other Nihonjin was a really kawaii (cute) lady. Really really cute. Although I knew it well that she was Japanese, I just HAD to ask if she really was, so I could talk more to her. heehee.

Oooh~ and I got my first ever pay-cheque today!!! It was exciting!! Really!! My first ever cheque!!


Okay.. gotta rest now. Terribly tired.
By the way.. KLCC will be open 'til midnight today for those who haven't done their Christmas shopping!

Life goes on, apparently.

Feels like the ugliest person alive this morning.
Couldn't stop myself from crying and it seems like I'm the only one. Not only I'm the laziest, silliest of the family.. I also happen to be the lamest of all.
It's a wonder how life could just go on and how minutes simply turn into hours when you're curling inside your bed, trying to hide from the world that you are truly depressed.
It isn't fair.
I wish I had the day off tomorrow so I could at least show up to work looking decent, but by the way I can't stop this tears from rolling down my face it would be impossible. I'd probably look like a retarded guppy by the morning.

What's more messed up is that I cry even more when everyone else is being nice to me. Papa gave me an extra hug.. Mama and Nina sugared more of their voice.. It makes me feel even worse!!
I just don't get why am I the only one who's crying like crap! I feel so pathetic!!!

You can't possibly imagine the silence of the house.
Just entering the room was depressing.

I miss Dida already, and it sux!

Rather upset.

No.
Really upset to be exact.
Feeling really really alone right now, and I can't help getting cranky over it.
In a roomful of loud, noisy people but I am just so so alone.

And by Tuesday I will no longer feel alone.
I'd completely turn lonely.. and admitting to this is simply pathetic and sad.
Really not looking forward to becoming lonely. Been there.. it wasn't pretty. I had forgotten how that actually felt.. but the feeling is returning now.

Again, I will be spending my hours waiting on the people I love...

OH - MY - GOD!!

It's out!! It's finally OUT!!!

Da Vinci's Code full trailer!!
First looks of Langdon, Sophie, Sauniere, Bezu Fache, Teabing and Silas!!
(err.. sorry if I turned out to get the names somewhat incorrect. I don't feel like getting out of bed to look for the book right now - of course, I can Google it but books feels so much better!)
The trailer looked AWESOME by the way!!
Though I think Tom Hank's do looked a bit odd. heehee!

This is so exciting! Can't believe it'll only be out in May!!

Got it!!

Finally got it!!
After 2 weeks of searching. Silly me.. could've actually gotten it a little earlier! It's not in a very brilliant quality though, but it'll do.
This was the soundtrack played at the last scene of House, 1x17 - Role Model.
Really love this song! Really really.

[embeded file removed! sorry..]

It's okay, to think about ending
And it's okay, to not even start
Put it away, wait 'til tomorrow
Put it away, and take care of your heart
Of your heart

It's okay, to stay here forever
And it's okay to read in the dark
Put it away, wait 'til tomorrow
Put it away, and take care of your heart
Of your heart

Just for a while, I'd seen you smile

call out.

hey somebody..
or anybody..

if you got Earlimart - It's Okay To Think About Ending, please please please pleaaaase let me know! I really really reaaally want it and I couldn't find it anywhere to download.
Please please pleaaaasee..

Preposterously tired.

Saw a boy today. Just an ordinary boy that walks in and out of your vision. He wasn't British.. Not exceptionally tall.. nor particularly handsome. Just a very simple looking boy. But I had to notice, for he deserved to be noted. heh!
Imagine the typical boy you'd see everyday; probably wearing a typical tee, typical jeans or khaki pants, and complete the look with a typical pair of sandals or sneakers. This boy I saw was all the same, typical. Except that he completed his looks with a pair of loafers. I suppose I am easily amused, but I was truly impressed by this not entirely typical boy. Wish I'd seen more of that.

Found a perfect lunch break spot today. I almost can't believe that I haven't found it earlier. Can't wait to share it with Muz!
Speaking of the devil.. still haven't got the file she wanted. It's frustrating! I wanted so much to let her see that particular episode! (Err.. yeah.. the file I'm downloading is House's 1x17 - Role Model.)
Right now I'm just pissed that the connection kept getting terminated. Just don't get why couldn't it finish the download already! "Fingers and toes crossed."

But I'm glad that it's finally weekend! I understand perfectly now; how real working people felt. Certainly I am qualified in that category; "real working people", but for some reasons I just feel like a child labour most of the time! ahahhaha!

House's cane is on eBay!

..and I'd like to say reaaaally sorry, to my pet Azraai. I was being a jerk, wasn't I? huhuuu. Never again. (well, that's a lie!) Well, you should know.. mengade mengade ni is my territory. You should never try that on me. I have low tolerance on icky people. Why do you think I have no girl friends who happens to be the last child?? sheesh! Menyampah! ahhahahhak!
Okay dah tak sori dah. Kejap je ni. ekekkeke!
Azraai sudah kembali bongok. hohhohok!

Getting a headache now. Probably 'cause the lack of sleep.
Well.. have a great weekend everyone!
Ooh! Dida's trip got post-poned again! She'll be leaving on Tuesday!

Currently listening to High Hopes. huehhueh!

Conversations with no one.

It's true what they say.. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.. Well, it goes something like that!
4 days of retail sales.. 4 days of agony.. And when I thought I should've been buried by the second day, I became more and more immune to the pain. My feet still hurts; analgesic balm (those creams that heats up once you put onto your skin) has officially become my new best friend. The truly, one and only thing I run to every night. It's an amazing bond!
So far.. this working thing is giving me mixed emotions. Sometimes I feel so good about it while most times I keep wondering "what a lousy worker I am," 'cause honestly, I'm HORRENDOUS! (Although Muz might tell you that I seemed busy all those times she's seen me.) My supervisor, Pei Sun; even calls me "adik" (lil' sis) at times. Okay, it might not be too bad.. but for me, it just highlights my incompetence in most things in the store.

But for a moment today, I felt SO proud! I guess it's just too bad that I went to the wrong interview; that instead of getting to work with the books, I got to work at the stationery section IN the bookstore.
Anyway, the story goes.. On my first day, Pei Sun told me that if anyone asks for directions to any book they were looking for, I should direct them to the information counter. And today, a lady asked me; "where can I get the C.S. Lewis Narnia series?" Ooh! I felt soooo proud to be able to tell her exactly where it was.
But still.. I can't remember exactly where the name card holder goes.

Just realized today that I don't even get the chance to think while at work, and when I was on break, I'd forget to bring along my journal with me. It's a sad, idiotic thing. Wish I had more break than the work! AHAHHAHA!!
Although I did get to notice that one half of the people who wished me on my birthday had also noted to me to "be happy always!" What does that exactly mean, eh? Does it mean that I'm usually cranky and they wanted me to be happy instead, or that I'm happy all the time and they wanted me to stick that way?

Ooh it's annoying to try downloading a file at this time! Trying to download a file that I had promised Muz in the morning but it's just TOO SLOW!! Wish I could be at home at 3pm when my downloads are usually reasonably fast..
All is left a dream for now I have a JOB. *sigh* I'm missing unemployment.

Note: To those who wishes to see me at work, you can. I promise I won't get mad. Just come near my break so I won't be eating alone. heehee. Having the noon shift can be a bore.. although I'm loving the fact that I only need to be there by 12!

Okay. Seems like I won't stop yapping.

Loving today.

Today felt really neat...
For one, my feet didn't hurt as much as the last two days.
Two, Nina came along after work with us - feels like the good ole times.
Three, we ate at Pizza Hut - and when "serious senior Pizza Hut diners" that are closely related to Mohd Idris doesn't get the exact topping on their pizzas, drama will surely follow. heehee! Was so funny, watching the waiters having a meeting over extra cheese, pineapples and olives.
For a minute, there were 3 waiters at our table!
Then later when it's settled, those waiters just got so keen on our table that when one of them overheard Dida saying that there wasn't any chilly sauce on the table, he clearly calls out at his friends for sauce - repeatedly. Probably afraid that we'll cause any more "scene". heehee.
Obviously something's wrong with us.. for enjoying our time bullying those waiters.

Okie! Sorry if you didn't understand my rather rusty writing skills. The whole thing about the pizza place was supposed to be funny.
Gotta go. Dida wants the laptop.

G'nite!!

Not a very bad ending.

Though I almost cried 6 times in public.. and in front of Muz at lunch (who stopped by 'cause she's plain nice).. wanting to off every single soul who dared to ask me where they could find "an indexed note book".. the even more aching feet..
It comes down to a nice family dinner at Chilli's.
It was still one of the worst days of my life.. but it was nice to have the whole family around.

Great people are/were Sagittarians.

Of course, great can either mean good or terrible, so no offence to everyone else who wasn't born between November 23rd and December 21st. I'm just being pompous.

To name a few of those great people; Karl Benz, Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix, Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, Woody Allen, Maria Rilke, Francisco Franco, Steven Spielberg, Walt Disney, C.S. Lewis, Charles Schultz, Frank Sinatra, Jane Austen, Ludwig van Beethoven, Andrew Carnegie, William Bonney, Morrie Schwartz and Nostrodamus. (of course, then there's those plain celebrities such as Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Tina Turner, Benjamin Bratt, Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Jake Gyllenhaal and Alyssa Milano.)
To name a few, I said - hah!!
[the underlined names, are of course the people that are featured on this month's layout!]

And today, I'm wishing happy birthday to Jamie Foxx, Nick McCarthy, Tom Delonge and Amy Lee!

(It is slightly disturbing that I find more famous men than women. More disturbing that people born this day turned out to be just celebrities!)

I hope I'll come close to greatness one day. As of right now, I just feel..
mightily timid.
And slightly depressed. My true feelings aren't nearly as cheery as the first half of this post, 'cause honestly this is the worst morning I've ever had. Stupidest morning ever!

You can tell it's a horrible morning when you're banking on people to forget. (-thanks to those who didn't.)
Maybe I'm just really really cranky because I am still in pain. Just thinking about going to work later just aches me.

Stupid damn day!!! *curse curse and more curses*