Let's talk music..

My 10 favourite songs Lyrically
(in no particular order)

• Inside Of Love by Nada Surf
  I know the last page so well, I can't read the first
  So I just don't start, it's getting worse
  
  

  Nada Surf - Inside Of Love

  This is a really nice depressing song about wanting to be in love; coming so close to it but not quite. And I absolutely love the lyrics at the end of the song -- so rational, but sad.

• All About You by McFly
  Dancing on kitchen tiles
  
  

  McFly - All About You

  It's such a cute little song! How can you not love it? And I know it's probably lame, but I like the idea of dancing on the kitchen tiles.. it's an image of perfect bliss.. somehow. (For one, if you have a kitchen big enough that you could dance around; you must be doing well financially. haha! And if I have someone who would want to be silly with me in a KITCHEN, I'd say that person is perfect.)

• Calling You by Blue October
  And if I said it a hundred times before
  expect a thousand more
  
  

  Blue October - Calling You

  I never knew Blue October had songs such as this! I LOVE it! Okay, I have a thing for love songs that doesn't sound like a love song; ones that hide behind a quick beat, loud guitars -- it makes the lyrics more appealing (to me!) Honestly, the entire lyrics of this song just speaks to me.

• That I Would Be Good by Alanis Morisette
  That I would be loved
  even if I'm not myself
  
  

  Alanis Morisette - That I Would Be Good

  It's insecurity made into a song.

• You And I Both by Jason Mraz
  And it's okay if you had to go away
  oh just remember the telephones well they're working it both ways
  
  

  Jason Mraz - You And I Both

  Okay, this song actually reminds me of somebody but anyway.. I love it for the fact that it's about the love that isn't exactly there anymore -- but it's OKAY. Live life to the fullest kind of song. You don't have to mope around.

• Wake Up by Coheed & Cambria
  I'll do anything for you
  Kill anyone for you
  
  

  Coheed & Cambria - Wake Up (Acoustic)

  I might actually be wrong about loving this song for the lyrics because I actually REALLY love how this song sounds like in the acoustic version.. but dude, it isn't love until he/she is willing to kill someone for you! hahha! This song is just cool for having that line for a lyric.

• Work by Jars Of Clay
  it's the breathing that's taking all this work
  
  

  Jars Of Clay - Work

  This song is awesome.. really. It's best listened to while you're running. haha. I don't think I can explain why I love this song. The lyrics are pretty straight forward. Also, the beats to this song are brilliant!

• Rest In Pieces by Saliva
  Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
  'Coz this hurts deeper than I thought it did
  
  

  Saliva - Rest In Pieces

  Sad sad song.. Heartbreak leads to moping sort of song. Pleading for the hurt to go away sort of song. Very sad. I caught the lyrics to this song on the very first time I heard it on the radio on my way back from class. Suppose I could say that I was in a moping-mood then.

• If You're Not The One by Daniel Bedingfield
  If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
  
  

  Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One

  Stubborn.. stubborn heart. It wants what it wants, yeah? Similar back-story as to the previous song; I caught most of the lyrics the first time I heard it and can't quite shake it off my head.

• Save Yourself by James Morrison
  If I'm crying now, don't listen to it
  it's only my heart
  
  

  James Morrison - Save Yourself

  Possibly the song MOST similar to what I would exactly say. Actually, I have said something similar to it. Right, hun? I do believe that EVERYBODY is better off without me. Boggles my mind everytime they stayed. Nuts.

I'm pretty sure that there are better songs out there. The fact is, this is MY list.. and when I thought about it while I was in the car on my way to Perak last week, these were the songs that popped in my head.

lalalaa..

Crappy feeling still lingers around at a corner somewhere but as I'm in a better mood than I was in last night.. I should grab this chance by distracting myself with some lame, trivial entry. hahaha!

So.. since Raya is pretty much over, (I've never been a fan of open-houses) I've been making a mental list of things I'd like to get with my duit Raya.
HAHAHHAHAHA!! (trivial enough for you?) hahhaahha!

Dida thought I was going nutty the other night as I ran things through with her. First I yapped about how I like the IDEA of getting something new to wear.. but I know myself too well that I'll end up with a book! hahaha! I fail at being the "typical girl". But I should bring myself to get a new pair of shoes. Mary-janes? Ballet? Heels? Flats? Black? Coloured?

Then we saw a really cute British-inspired dress at the Mango display. (I LOVE Brit inspired pieces.. also army/marching band-like jackets! I honestly hover around those things.) But really.. I don't need anymore dresses nor jackets -- I don't wear enough of the ones I already have. bah.

It's like this.. I can either spend a lot, or not spend at all; but that's upsetting since to me, you are meant to have money so you can spend it! But blowing them out on BOOKS are so geeky! hahahha!
Maybe I'll just get myself some socks and undies. HAHAHAHA! I was actually thinking of asking for people to send me socks for my birthday but that's a way too silly of a request! (Although really.. I would LOVE to get socks! Not from you though, hun. Socks are too easy for you. heehee)

ughh.. So anyway.. I just can't decide. Maybe I'll just end up spending them at San Fran like I usually would; books and good food. blah. It's boring how predicatable I am -- to myself. HAHAHAHHA!
God, I've been laughing and smiling too much just because of this entry.

mm anyway, I haven't decided on anything. Wish I was born rich.. I bet rich people doesn't have to decide on anything because they get to have EVERYTHING. (Of course, that is only my assumption.. I'd like to test that out myself please, thank you!)

Oh by the way.. did you notice the ad on your right?? hahahha!

I think I'm dying.

Little pieces of my heart that breaks apart,
the parts of my brain that dulls away.
When I say that I am dying, I did not mean that I am dying,
It is the essence of me that is waning.
I am running out of things to say, words cannot convey the feeling that I'm feeling.

Wish I could tell you everything, things that runs through my mind. But for that to be possible you'll need to look into my eyes and listen to the beats of my heart. So I'm sorry that I said it was nothing when you asked. I honestly cannot form any words to tell you what you'd otherwise just know.

But I'm me and you're you. You're there while I'm here.
So here I sit as still as I can just gasping desperately for air while I tell myself not to cry.

Help.
Who can help me now?
Stupid stupid stupid.
Shit shit shit.

uh.. so..
I may not be clinically depressed, but is there an appropriate word to call myself when I feel as crappy as I do right now?
I am honestly just.. exhausted.

Oh, this song does NOT mean anything to me.. but it sounded as sad as I'm feeling. Somehow. What ever. Shutting up now.

McFly - POV

Distract me please before I hyperventilate.

I like writing about myself.
Because the fact is.. I rarely ever really talk about myself. The fact is, I am just as vain as everybody else, only difference is that I'm giving people the choice to whether give a shit with what ever that is I have to say -- you can always move on from this blog, which is something that I've stressed upon so many times before.

Did you know that when you were born, your skull was made up of 404 separate bony elements? As you grow, the bones connects to each other but certain parts may take up to 18 months to close up.

Trivia time!
I fell off a bed even before I was one year old. I was at my grandparents' house, and the bed was one of those old types.. the ones that sits over a metre off the ground. It was nobody's fault; I was barricaded with pillows but I managed to fall anyway. (I say it was the first sign of my stubborness -- don't tell me what I can't do, sort of thing.)
Then when I was a few years old, I tumbled down a flight of steps as I tried to fix my shoe, which Nina had fondly recollected as "cute" because she saw "diapers - head - diapers - head". (That DOES sound cute but I doubt that it was what I was aiming for at the time.)

Now why am I telling you all this?
Well, I'm beginning to point at moments such as those to be the cause to why I am the way I am; too many bumped heads had made Wanie to turn out into such a dummy.

Anyway, I am trying to find solace in the fact that I am plain psychotic rather than emotional. You're supposed to be able to control your emotions but not how your brain works. I refuse to be governed by my feelings. They're stupid. And weak. I don't want to be weak.
Help.
Help help help.

ughh. Shut up Wanie.

Katie Herzig - I Hurt Too

Wanie rhymes with Dummy

(In the cinema)
I whipped out my lip gloss and started to apply them

[Dida] sempat.. kau nak ngorat sape?
[me] Shia LaBeouf
[Dida] bongok!

hahhahaha!
Anyway, we saw Eagle Eye earlier and really enjoyed it! I can't figure out why some people hated it. bah.
Dida and I talked about it all the way home from Midvalley. Like really.. Aaaaall the way home.

Well, I must say it's a nice little change after the conversation we had the night before. I like having serious talks but when the topic revolves mainly around relationships, I can't help but get uncomfortable. It's the one topic where reading about it does not matter. It does not matter how many philosophical or psychological articles you've read because some things are probably meant to not be understood.

The one topic where what ever that comes out from my mouth sounds like a complete hogwash -- to me at least. Boggles my mind why anyone would listen to me anyway. I SUCK at relationships.
mmph. I better stop now before I start saying things that you don't want to hear/read.

Oh, Dida and I talked about people's first impression on us. Perhaps it's a Malaysian-school orientation thing; apparently she once had people write up their first impression on her in school and so did I. I still have the paper even. (Oh yes, I do. The paper is 6 years old now!)

We were in a group of twelve, so I have one person who thought that I was enthusiastic, another said I liked to smile, two said I was inquisitive, five said I was friendly and two said I was talkative.
ha!

I wish I am talkative when I should be talking.
But here's the truth.. the closer a thing is to my heart.. the more my lips are closed shut. It's like a list of sequence;
1. stay quiet
2. idiotically stare into nothing
3. wait out until my heart becomes numb

They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I wish I could pop my eyes out and mail them out. On a piece of scrap paper, I'd write; Read that please. Once you're done, I'd appreciate it if you'd send those back to me, thank you.

Somebody stop me from yapping. A shot of novocaine to my heart maybe. ha! Aren't I smart to use that word on a dumb blog entry.
Shut up Wanie..
ughh. Sometimes I feel like the only way I know how to live is by being miserable.

James Morrison - Love Is Hard

Isn't it good to be in Malaysia?

My mom asked me if I wanted to come along to Low Yatt Plaza with her and my father. She wanted to look for an external hard disc and Dida asked her to buy a thumbdrive for her. And since I broke my 2nd Sony Ericsson earphone, I thought this is the right time to look for a new one. Those flimsy thing never lasted a year with me. blah.

And so.. here is the part where it is GOOOOOD to be in Malaysia. We are after all pretty known for our cheap fakes. hahaha!
Sure.. sure.. to get something of quality is ideal, but I don't mind all that much. My main focus while I was looking for an earphone is so I could drown out boring radio channels or mundane chatters while I'm on a public transport.

Since I have a thing for headphones that rests at the back of your neck, I got the HPM-83.
It cost me RM 75. (uhh.. okay, it cost my MOM that much. hahahha!) (yes, yes.. I am rottenly spoilt.)
I went to a store that sells the original product and the price was RM 299.
bahhahaha!! I knew the real thing would cost that much. pshh. I'm a cheap date kind of person anyway. Nobody should spend that much for me. Even I don't spend that much for myself. (err.. okay, how much was that James Morrison's ticket last year?)

Anyway, we'll see how long this headphone will last.
Oh, I finally shook my mom's hands today. She laughed. haha. My speech didn't sound like a speech at all; I was caught off guard. She'd wanted to give me duit raya even without me asking for forgiveness from her, and I felt bad for that.

My sisters reckons that I'm Mama's favourite daughter. I refuse to believe that -- I always thought Dida is her favourite. I'm nobody's favourite. I don't deserve to be anybody's favourite. I make too much trouble to be anybody's favourite.
I mean, sure my parents are pretty quirky in their own way but I doubt that they favour the daughter that are best friends with "trouble".
Point is; I don't deserve being anyone's favourite. It makes me feel bad. STOP MAKING ME FEEL BAD!

I'm finally listening to McFly's new album RadioACTIVE. LOVING the sound of this one;

McFly - Corrupted

Songs for You, Truths for Me

♥

Seriously. How can you NOT love James Morrison??
For one, he's my age.. British.. Leo.. plays the guitar.. writes brilliant songs.. and he has an incredibly sexy husky voice. *melts*
Seriously. He is SO on my freebie list. Even after a year, he's still on that list. hahahha!
sorry hun.. feel free to make your own list. heehee. Have that Chuck-chick on it maybe..

I can admit that two of the songs on his latest album were an easy favourite for me. They were just brilliant. Really brilliant. I'd get completely spaced out when I listen to them -- okay, that isn't necessarily a good thing.. but those two songs were just.. brilliant.

Anyway, here's one of them.. I think it featured his voice at the best;
(but do note that I'm first and foremostly a "lyrics" person. hehe. The other song meant more to me but I'm saving it for later..)

James Morrison - If You Don't Wanna Love Me

Raya.. Raya..

3rd day of Eid.
Nina won't give me duit raya unless I go to her place in Seremban.. so yesterday I went with Papa.
We took the commuter train because Dida would join us after she made her round visiting her friends.. and well.. Malaysian public transports....

You know, it isn't really a transportation. Because to BE a mean of transportation, it should get you from point A to point B, so if you're stuck in one place for a long period of time, you're not exactly transporting to anywhere are you?

Anyway, at least I got a chance to pick my father's brain; Geminis.. great conversationalist.
I don't remember what exactly that we talked about but there's this one while we were waiting for the train at Central, that I remember very clearly so I could blog about;

[me] Pa, you never minded about the men your children will marry, do you? Racial wise..
[him] ..I prefer you'd marry a Malay.
[me] oh. *face goes blank*
[him] but you don't always get what you prefer.
[me] *laughs and pats his back* It's good that you keep that kind of attitude.

HAHAHAHAHA!! That bit just cracks me up everytime I think about it.

4th day of Eid.
Had another family day.
Nina, Jasmin and the kiddies came down to KL so we could all eat the very well known fish head curry at the National Stadium. One problem. They've moved!!!
Seriously.. whose mind was so twisted to move the famous "stadium fish head curry" in the first place?! It's a freakin' institution!!

It was noon -- we were all hungry.. so we drove around trying to decide where should we go for lunch. We were heading into center KL (Plan B: Beriyani at Restoran Insaf or Nasi Kandar at Restoran Yassin) while Dida gave me her phone so I could search the internet for info on the fish head curry -- and voila! The magic of digital age.

I found a review for Restoran Ahamed at Jalan Lumut (off Jalan Ipoh) which is formerly known as THE stadium fish head curry restaurant. *cheers!* Good thing that we found it too.. turns out Restoran Insaf was closed! hahaha!

I was invited to an open house tomorrow but I'm not sure if I could get myself out the door anytime before 5. hahha! It seems like no matter how early I went to bed these day I'm still not getting enough sleep. (I blame Dida.. her phone does not fail to ring every morning. It was messages yesterday, and her alarm this morning.)

It's been an okay Eid so far. Mama said she won't give me duit raya until I ask for forgiveness from her. hahahaha! I'm going to.. I'm going to.. I just need the right speech. I have one for Papa but I haven't got a chance to say it yet.

Oh, remember the other day when I mentioned about putting ads on my blog and how I will never have them? Well, an opportunity came knocking my door yesterday and I think I'm going to let it wait 'til Monday before I decide if I should let it in.
hmm.. I just can't decide.

It's a family affair.

Maybe I should ALWAYS expect the worst of the Eid -- so then I'd come home at night thinking, "that wasn't so bad after all.." haha!

The family (me, Dida, and the Parents) travelled to Perak on the first Raya to visit Mama's side of the family. We just went to two houses really. hahaha! (My mom's cousin in Tapah Road and her sister in Sitiawan) Unfortunately I am not too familiar with that side of the family so it felt pretty weird to take a bunch of pictures with them.. so I didn't -- at all. huhuuu.
The trip itself was pretty uneventful.. except for the fact that I finally managed to get a listen to James Morrison's new album -- but I'm not going to talk about that now. (Maybe in the next entry! haha!)

We went back to Bukit Kapar (that's in Klang) on the second Raya. The entire family -- of my father's side(the ones who were available at least) got together for a family photo which I've uploaded to Facebook. hehe.

Remember last year when we did light trails with sparklers..?

yah.. well.. we did it again this year. hahahhaha!
I know that this is hardly a proper entry for one of the largest events in Malaysia (Eid ul-Fitr, I mean) but I swear I have nothing much to write about!
Probably because I'm too tired to think now after two days of travelling around. bah!

'Til later. ♥

"Jeleben"

For future reference yah, jeleben was Dida's train of thought as she was trying to remember "urban legend".

:P

Dida, stop poking me.

Do I try too hard to make us smile?

blah.
Is the Raya greeting lame or what?! bahahhaha! pemalas betul.. dahlaa buat random search untuk gamba pelita (read: curik!), lepas tu tak spend setengah jam pun untuk so-called "edit".. Lamez0r!!
Anyway, this is the perfect time for you to say, "it's okay.. it's the thought that counts." hahahha!

So.. how about it? Want me to make another attempt at writing in Malay? HAHAHHA! (It's going to be pathetic.) I'll write Malish a bit then.
hmm.. skarang kat rumah ade laa ura ura macam nak Raya.. Papa tengah anyam ketupat, (he asked if I wanted to help earlier but I was doing that greeting thing) while Mama is.. eh. Sementara Mama tengah jahit baju Raya -- last minute, typically her. Tadi dia cakap, "dah dekat nak Raya pon maseh chatting!" walhal Wanie tengah taip menda alah ni. Chatting la beno. She's special like that; she's been making snide comments to me since I got back, which I don't appreciate at all. And rarely do I take things quietly, earlier this morning I said to her; "kalau takde ape elok nak cakap, takyah cakap laa" (if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it at all) huhuu. Bertuah betul la dapat anak cam Wanie. sigh. Naseb baik esok Raya. Tapi tapi.. I hate asking for forgiveness when I don't really mean it. mmph! Dengan harapan malam ni terbuka lah hati.. epiphany of a sort.
-end Malish-

I'd most probably spend the most of tomorrow in the car sulking. We're travelling to Perak to visit my mom's side of the family and they're usually the ones who like to ask me what I've been up to -- mostly because we only see them once a year. gah! I'd like to skip the day and go straight to the night please! The part of night where I'm in bed with Boyfie at the end of the phone line. I like that part very much.

Oh God, it is SO boring to keep saying this but man, I miss my guitar!! There's always something that stops me from being able to play it; rusty strings.. broken peghead.. the guitar itself being at a friend of Dida's place.. (haha! I really need to get her to get it back.)
Anyway, I always want my guitar the most when I'm obsessed about any particular song -- as I am right now. When I say obsessed, it means that it's the last thing I thought about (or listen to) before I fall asleep and the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up.
Hunny, keep in mind that I'm very much capable of having multiple thoughts at once.. because one way or another, everything sort of relates to each other.

*
*
*

ughh. I just spent the last 40 minutes peeling a bag of onions, but I'm proud to say that I didn't shed a single tear! muahhahaha!! Pwned! Well, I'm happy that at least I contributed something this Raya!! weeeeeeeee!

oh.. this is absolutely pointless, but I managed to fast everyday this Ramadhan! woohooo! (Okay, that cheer was a sarcastic one.) I mean, good for me for not having to.. err.. ganti (replace? substitute?) the days that I miss if I were to skip some days due to my period; but since I didn't (get my period).. it'd meant that my hormones are whacked! ick!
Probably this is only the third time it has ever happened since I first got my period 11 years ago. 3 out of 132 cycles isn't bad I suppose.. Although now I'm wondering if it's possible to figure out what's making my hormones running stupid.

Okay. My back is tired from sitting for too long. (My chair doesn't have a back rest.) So.. 'til later!
Have a good day everyone.
Semoga amal ibadah yang kita jalankan sepanjang bulan ni diterima Allah.. heehee. (I feel funny when I try to be righteous.)

"Randominity"

Nina asked me a few days ago, "how do people actually make money from their blogs?"
-- Ads
I know how some people managed to get at least a little pocket money by having ads on their website/blogs -- and I've had enough people telling me that I should try that. I've tried Google ads once.. I can't remember why I removed it. I checked out Nuffnang just now and you know what? I've made up my mind..

I am NEVER going to have an ad on my blog!
WHYY do they have to be SO BIG?!! If I've been using a boring, basic template.. I probably wouldn't mind having one of those ads on my blog. But I spent too many hours on my design and tweaking the html (css?) to have it maimed by some advertisement.
I simply, absolutely REFUSE to let that happen!
That is like having a stranger telling you that your name needs an extra 'E'. pshh! (I'm obviously taking this blog waay too personally -- but of course! I'm allowed to.) Guess I'll just have to make my money some other way then. *cue really BIG laugh*

gah! I should think of something to write before I gush about the Boyfie now. It's so annoying when you're hit by the fact that YOU'RE that kind of girl -- the one who wouldn't mind spending her whole day just talking on and on about her boyfriend as if EVERYONE wanted to know EVERYTHING there is to know about him. hahahha! Anyway, even though I am that girl.. I shall try my best to spare you all from reading too much about him. Just because I'm obsessed about him, there isn't a reason why I should convert you to be just as obsessed, right?
I don't think he'd appreciate that anyway.
accck! Wanie - STOP!

The knuckle to my little finger of my right hand is slightly purple from punching my cpu too much last night. (The thing is old, and I'm pretty sure that something is seriously wrong with the motherboard.. or what ever thing there is in there, but anyway.. everytime the cpu beeps, I would punch it. Or kick. Depends on my mood really.)

I'm trying to download James Morrison's new album. Yes, download. I know I know.. I'll buy his album eventually. (Maybe after the Eid..? bahahhaha!!)
I miss my guitar. (Dejavu anyone?)

Took me two hours to write this entry. I swear it'd felt longer than that. Anyway, I just didn't feel like hitting the 'publish' button on a really short entry. I am not known for writing short entries.. or letters.. or even cards.

That reminds me.. one more day of fasting and it'll be Eid ul-Fitr! (the exclamation mark isn't exactly me being excited, by the way.) Funny, me and Bahijah were talking about our feelings on the Eid last night; how we're not excited about it as we used to when we were.. younger -- but we both agreed that we ARE excited to be able to eat during the day again!! HAHAHAHAHA!! ♥

James Morrison - Nothing Ever Hurt Like You

Night race.

Now, this is rare.. but I'm actually going to touch something on the current events! (zomg!!)

So.. I didn't like the Singapore GP -- and no, not because neither of the Ferrari cars managed to get a point.
For one, the night race didn't really seem like a night race. I definitely prefer my idea of a "night race". (Imagine the cars painted with glow in the dark paints and the streets are lined with glow in the dark/fluorescent strip.) Okay, I didn't say that it was going to be safe, but really.. can you honestly say that the current Marina Bay circuit is "safe"?

With the high kerb (chicane..?) at Turn 10 (I think..?) and bumpy roads -- which had caused some cars to emit sparks on their tails; which I had actually find amusing. hehe. (Reminds me of sparklers.)
I don't know.. I guess I was just expecting MORE.
And lets face it.. the Malaysian GP's trophy looked WAAAAAYYY cooler than the Singapore GP's trophy. hahahaha!

Okay, no more dissing the Singapore GP. Boyfie could probably think of some good thing about it though.. hmm.. I wonder if it's patriotism when you complain about the neighbouring country's event. hahahaha!

Anyway, Malaysia isn't going to have a night race as it had been proposed for next year. (Not to have another night race, but to accommodate those European fans apparently.) Instead, FIA agreed that the race time will be at 5pm instead of 3pm as it has been in the previous years.
yippeeee!! No more sunburn! hahahha! I'm excited about THAT! (it took me weeks to get rid of the tan line I got from watching the race in March!)

Okay, I'm going to stop writing now so I can eat. Plus, I don't think I'm using the proper grammar here. I've been sleepy -- but stubborn. Very very stubborn.
Have a good week, everyone! ♥

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Shahnon!

mm.. okay..

So me and my friends got together (finally) for break-fast. err.. but there were fourteen of us and I wasn't exactly in talking-terms to half of them. (Okay, honestly.. I can only admit that there were only 3 or 4 of my friends while the rest of them were acquaintances.. oh! Three were complete strangers! hahaha! But lets get over that now.)

uhh.. actually, I haven't got much to say about it. It's nice seeing those familiar faces.. but I'm not exactly the life-of-the-party type. hehe.
Darn it. Never mind me. I haven't been in a cheery mood all day so I simply cannot write about anything cheerful.
Go look for a cheery blog, shoo!

Panic at 2.

Nothing really horrible.
Boyfie said something that worried him and a thought crossed my mind -- which then caused my heart to skip a beat and somehow mess up its whole rhythm for a few minutes. Idiotic, really.
Idiocy and Wanie goes hand in hand, I shouldn't be so surprised anymore.

Anyway, even though I was just being an idiot.. my worries had managed to creep into my dream and completely ruin my night's sleep.
Imagine coming home to a place you're unfamiliar with, quite alone.. and the only person there besides you was a stranger whose sole purpose was to tell you that no one is there for you. Cue dramatic score -- yes, score. Believe it or not, some of my dreams actually has its own soundtrack and the sound was a very very dramatic (yet heartbreaking) composition of violins and cellos a few hours ago.

So when I woke Nina up at 4:30 this morning, walking in a straight line was quite impossible. I only came off the drowsiness around 5:15. And though I'm very much awake right now (and a little afraid of going back to sleep) I know that I should go back to bed. Plus, the sky outside is turning lighter blue by the minute.. it's now or never.
mm.. so.. off to sleep now.

ughh.

It's amazing how bothered I can be over some stupid game on Facebook.

What's more amazing is how useless my brain is.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that God has given me a bad brain.. Believe me, He's equipped me with a great one.. but rarely do I use it. I don't deserve it. I'M useless.

Again.. and again.. and again.. I keep doing, saying the stupidest things.
Some people are just oddly talented, apparently.

That's it for tonight. I know that you haven't got a single clue to why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, and thinking the way I'm thinking right now.. but that is best, for you.
End rant.

Nina the historian.

It's incredible what I've learned from her in the past few days.
I admit that I myself is an incredibly forgetful person.. but really! She remembers a WHOLE lot of things that I can't seem to remember.

Like how I would push my father's buttons. hahaha! I'm such a terrible child. (Evil spawn.) I honestly wouldn't know what to do if MY child turns out to be like me. I pray that my future spouse will be able to handle Wanie Jr.
Maybe I could avoid that from happening by planning my pregnancy; must - not - have - Sagi - child! (you should know that I always end up blaming my zodiac sign by now.)

Me and Nina were talking the other day.. how grateful we are that we weren't born.. ugly. (I'm afraid there isn't a better word to say it.) Because lets face it (no pun intended), your tolerance level towards stupid, yet pretty people are usually higher than for stupid AND ugly people.
So yah, we're THANKFUL that we're not ugly.. so even when we say the stupidest things, (such as this) people can't hate us so much. *bats eyelashes*

We were talking earlier about Dida.. ngumpat, hahaha!! about the kind of man that she is looking for. If she KNOWS what kind of man that she wants. Nina said that it had always been clear to her that she wants a man who loves her more than she loves him, and she found that man in my brother in law. Good for her. As for me, I want someone whom I can talk with. Nina said that'd sound easy enough.. but of course, she'd forgotten that little fact where I - DON'T - SHARE my real feelings and thoughts to just anyone.
So now I'm sort of looking forward to seeing Dida and ask her if she has that ONE thing she looks for in a guy.

I've been spamming my blog these past few days haven't I?
Seems like there's been a bunch of random thoughts in my mind..
Should head to bed now. Goodnight world.

Because I'm bored (and not in the freakin' mood!)

• Are you currently in a serious relationship?
  -- err.. I am in a relationship, it's a wee more serious than any of my previous ones.. but am I in a serious relationship? I'm genetically incapable of answering this question straight forward.
  
  
• What was your dream growing up?
  -- well, I think it was my father's dream; it has something to do with engineering. Guess I never knew what I wanted.. until a few years back. (To really answer the question, I didn't dream of anything growing up.)
  
  
• What talent do you wish you had?
  -- hmm.. photographic memory. And to be able to focus, please!
  
  
• If someone bought you a drink what would it be?
  -- Shirley Temple.. better yet, buy me grenadine so I can make my own whenever I feel like it. uh.. or you could buy me a large Caramel Ice Blend, thanks!
  
  
• Favorite vegetable?
  -- carrot.
  
  
• What was the last book you read?
  -- Rosie Dunne by Cecelia Ahern. (Just wanted to be reminded how annoying the story really was.)
  
  
• What zodiac sign are you?
  -- Sagittarius!
  
  
• Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
  -- pierced ears.
  
  
• Worst Habit?
  -- I tend to storm off from the room without saying a word when I'm infuriated. Not sure if that's a habit but I don't think storming off anywhere is nice.
  
  
• What is your favorite sport?
  -- football.
  
  
• Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
  -- Pessimistic for myself, optimistic towards others.
  
  
• Worst thing to ever happen to you?
  -- I don't think anything really bad ever happened to me. They were all avoidable. Maybe the worst thing ever happened was the fact that I was born to be as unreasonable as I am. hahaha!
  
  
• One weird fact about you.
  -- I love talking to strangers! I don't think it's weird but everyone else seem to think that it is. I like that I won't have to keep in touch with them. I like that we only share things that we WANT to share with each other. It's like an adventure that we have a control of. (oh, and though I like talking to them, I was never the one who started the conversation -- I'm shy. hahahha!)
  
  
• Do you have any pets?
  -- none.
  
  
• Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
  -- neither. Honestly, they annoy me. They seem to think that they're funny and entertaining but they never amused me.
  
  
• If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
  -- I'd rather not be wearing glasses but I'm genetically screwed.
  
  
• Would you be a crime partner or a conscience?
  -- crime partner. I'm never the party-pooper.
  
  
• What color eyes do you have?
  -- dark brown.
  
  
• Ever been arrested?
  -- nope.
  
  
• Bottle or can soda?
  -- bottle. I'm greedy.
  
  
• If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
  -- shop for clothes and books, (pack them into one huge bag) and go travelling. (Or travel to ONE place and stay there for as long as I can.)
  
  
• What's your favorite place to hang out at?
  -- Coffee Bean, specifically in Pavillion.. but I also like San Francisco Restaurant in Midvalley because they know me there! hehe.
  
  
• Do you believe in ghosts?
  -- yes, unfortunately.
  
  
• Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
  -- write.. or in the absence of ideas to write about, daydream.
  
  
• Do you swear a lot?
  -- more than a "lady" should.
  
  
• Biggest pet peeve?
  -- inconsistent beats (I know, that's an odd thing to be peeved at), incredibly sluggish internet connection, getting my personal space violated and bLogZ dAt sPeLLs lYk diS.
  
  
• In one word, how would you describe yourself?
  -- quirky..? (yes, with the question mark.)
  
  
• Do you believe/appreciate romance?
  -- mm.. yes.
  
  
• Favourite and least favourite food?
  -- favourite: steak, bread, pastas, potatoes.. (CARBS!!) least favourite: papaya. (really, I wouldn't touch it if I can help it.)
  
  
• Do you believe in God?
  -- yes.

Mystical or magical.

"Cino uddhu' wong"
heehee. I just can't get that out of my head. I definitely think that Javanese feels or thinks that they are simply superior than the others. Which we probably are. HAHAHAHAHA!!

Have you seen Puteri Gunung Ledang?
She's Javanese by the way. I saw that movie with my dad and after the show he told me a few things about ilmu sapu angin (how the princess and her brother travelled around) which I thought was amusing. I wonder if anyone can do that today.

I found out earlier this year that we are of royal blood from my grandmother's side. I gaped when I found out -- I always found things out late in life. blah. So anyway, apparently she had some royal blood in her but my grandfather was truly a commoner. I don't know if there really is a point in me telling all this but.. royalty = Puteri Gunung Ledang..? HAHAHAHHA!!

So Nina and I were discussing it last night. Our "mystic" powers -- or if we had any. I think Nina has it. She used to get really telling dreams which are so straight forward. I get a few but.. they needed to be deciphered. hehe.
Plus, if you're a guy.. you wouldn't want to mess with Nina. Bad things may happen to you. (err.. even my brother in law isn't excluded from this one since bad things did happen to him.)

I can't help but be in awe by her stories. I wish I was that cool. hahaha!
Unless you can count being lucky as mystical. haha! Still kinda boring in comparison. Just because I win more things than my sisters.. it doesn't mean anything really. Especially since I feel like I'm running out of luck -- which blows, big time!
But anyway.. apparently my parents used to ask ME to pick things or numbers when I was little because THEY think I'm lucky too. (I don't remember this..) Nina reminded me that we'd won something with my choice.. (and never won anything with Nina or Dida's choice.)

Anyway, luck = boring!
Especially since I've been using that word to express my gratitude. It's getting a bit typical.. I know it's silly but I wish I was more than just ME. gahh! I'm bored, and an absolutely boring person. yuck.

Okay, I need to stop thinking about me me me me ME and join Nina in the kitchen.. ♥

Horoscopes.

So I was reading mine on New Straits Times as I wait for Nina to get back;

There is a great likelihood that you and your partner could be having more than one misunderstanding at present. Remember that Mercury is moving backwards and this should enable both of you to have a good laugh.

hahahhahahahahaha!!!
I'm laughing now, whaddyaknow..