Too much..

Too much of anything is never a good thing..

I had the last three days off.. and now I am just so lazy to get to work tomorrow.. pfft!
Three days trip, HERE I COOME! *fake enthusiasm*

And I know I've said this before, but I'm gonna say it again; I really hate it when I'm just so used to having Encem around. pfft!
I am an addict, I tell ya!
Good thing that I'll only be away for three days.

sigh. Three days.
Oh well. I hope you guys are having a good week.
Oh, and, welcome to the family, Cik Amyan.. Hope to see you soon!

Sedih.

Happiness is temporary.
At least that's how I always feel anyway.
Maybe I'm just needy.
Point is, I'm disappointed.. I am always the one being forgotten. Or taken lightly of. And I have no idea how to change that!
So I'm disappointed.. Frustrated.. Sad.

Haritu aku fly dengan sorang tech crew yang membesar kat Shah Alam. Turned out dia pun skolah Raja Muda, panggil area Seksyen 16/17/18++ "Seberang", and agree that Bukit Jelutong bukanlah Shah Alam!
Hahahahhahahahaha!
Terhibur hati aku.
Banyak jugak aku berbual ngan dia. To a point where sampai sakit tekak gak la.

Sebenarnya aku tengah lelah hati. Letih.. Sangat letih...
Hari Isnin lepas buat empat sektor. Reporting 0735, abes keje 1755.
The very next morning aku start on trip empat hari.. (Malam ni last night di Labuan.) Finally esok balek rumah!

Aku sorang je pompuan (selain supervisor) dalam set. Letih. Hari hari memain flirt. Hahahhahaha! I know this is going to sound bad, but it's a bit boring to not be able to do anything more than just flirt.
HAHHAHAHHAHA!!
And I hate the bit where they seem to be more interested in me than my own boyfriend. Huhuuu.
Ye, saya tahu, saya perempuan yang lemah lagi fickle. Tralalalaa..

Anyway, balek trip esok.. Then lusa buat empat sektor lagi!
Roster aku minggu ni memang ntah hape hape. Aku simpaaan je dalam hati betapa letihnya aku sebenarnye. Sure, I'm writing this on my blog, but I'm not exactly twisting your arm to read it, kan?

Aku tak paksa korang untuk baca. And yet korang baceee gak blog aku ni.
So I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being curious, for wanting to know what's been going on with my life.
Thank you.
Sangat.
You have no idea..

Speechless.

To not know what your next move is.
To be clueless.
To be speechless.

I realize that when something truly bad happens, I'd go completely still..
I wouldn't know what to do next.
What do I do next??

You know, "Hazwani" means pemberianku.. or "my gift"..
WHOSE gift????
Tell me, whose gift am I??
Because I sure don't feel like a gift.
Useless, more like.
Like one of those little crystal trinkets that you put in the display cupboards; they're pretty to look at, but completely useless!
I suppose some people do give out those crystal trinkets as gifts.. So maybe I am just that.

Anyway, I don't know what to do. Words failed me this time.
I just wish I could do something, is all.

S08E14

There are times in our lives when love really does conquer all

Exhaustion..

Sleep deprivation..

Anything.

And then there are those times when it seems like love brings us nothing but pain.

Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of what we have,

Sometimes it's by losing ourselves in the moment,

and sometimes all we need to do to ease the pain is call a simple truce.

I'm a big fan of Grey's Anatomy.

I suppose you should know that if you had been following this blog.

Honestly I am a fan of most things with a monologue. I find it most interesting when there's an explanation to why things happen. Or the thoughts that triggered something.

When someone does something, I want to know why they did it.

It's either that or that I feel like I am constantly doing a monologue myself. So I feel the similarity between me and Mer. Only her thoughts are more put together compared to my incoherent rambling.

Well, I'm home alone again.

Feels like I'm the loneliest I've ever been this month. Roster's been unmerciful I suppose.

I was the assist crew on my flight today and my Primary Two (a steward.. well, a stewardee really) held my hand so tight during take off. He said that he always get scared of take-offs on a 737-400. I didn't think much of it. His hands truly were cold.

I was mostly uncomfortable because the rings that I wore were pressing against my fingers so hard.

I am still missing Encem. Between our work and his trips back to Kuantan, I don't get to see much of him. His father isn't doing so good, so I am trying my very best to be the understanding girlfriend. Which I do -- understand. So I don't get mad. Just sad..

I could probably count the hours that I had seen him this month so far.

We spent a few hours just talking last night. I'd missed that. It's little things like that that reminds me why I am with him in the first place.

Why I feel the way that I feel.

Why I get so emotional sometimes to a point where I feel like I should check myself to a psych-ward.

Aaaanyway, I hope things work out for the best.

I know he's not feeling his best, having to be away from his father's side at a time like this.

Our job sucks... when it comes to these sort of things.

Speaking of fathers, I haven't spoken to mine in weeks. We had a little spat over some stupid thing and now, like always we're duelling with our egos.

Let's call it principle. Or stubbornness; it sounds much better than "ego", right?

My father is a stubborn man.

I'm just giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Let's just say that my stubbornness is my super-power. Be it a dark one, at least I'd seem cooler.

I do feel evil for talking to everyone else in the family but my dad.

Moving on, I am the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life!

"become a hot-stuff" -- MY ASS!

Weighing at 56.5 kilos with flabby everything, I am nowhere near to being a hot-stuff!

Encem says that it's a sign of happiness, since he too had gained a little weight.

Oh well, maybe I am.. Happy.

Just maybe.

I thank God for my present weightless heart and calm mind.

I thank God for words. Ones that flows from my heart to my lips and through my fingers as I am typing this.

I thank God for my life. The family that I was born into, the paths that had led me to my job, to Encem.

I thank God for my sanity.

Alhamdulillah..

Retraction.

Aku tarik balek umpatan aku pasal captain semalam..

Tetiba teringat dalam banyak banyak kali dia call ke cockpit tu, ada sekali dia just suruh tengok view kat luar; matahari terbenam selari dengan bulan naik.. Apparently it only happens during full moon.
So yeah.. disebabkan itu, aku rasa aku tak patut cakap tak elok pasal dia. hihi..
The view was.. extraordinary.
Sumpah, sangat cool.

And that is why my friends, I adore my job!
Even when I have to do BLR, MLE, CMB or HYD.. nothing compares to the view of the moon, the city lights and sunrise from up above.
My work feeds my obsession with the sky. hehe

Holes inside.

Bestie finally showed me One Day starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess. (That is one fine man.. not hot, nor handsome. More to cute really.)

Made me think about soulmates.. (I can honestly say, that must be one of my favourite topics!)

Sometimes I wonder if Encem was truly meant for me.. or the other way round.

Sometimes I feel like it's better to not have found your soulmate.

In a way, if it doesn't turn out great.. you could say, "oh well.. he/she had never been my soulmate in the first place."

Whereas when you found "it".. and somehow things still doesn't turn out great, you'd have nothing to blame. Nothing to say.

Or it does turn out great.. you get married.. have beautiful children.. sleep in each other's embrace each night.. grow old together.... And one of you dies.

Then you'd be left with a hole in the heart.

Hmmph!

Sometimes I wish that I was never in love in the first place.

Getting burned, I can handle.

Being left with a hole...

The thought just scares the crap out of me.

Anyway, I'm missing my boyfriend..

We keep missing each other because of work. My heart is simply aching, and I don't think he has any idea how that feels.

Now on to work.. (Distractions.. distractions..)

The other day, a passenger asked for a warm beer.

Yes.

WARM beer.

When I told him that all our beers are chilled because it's meant to be served chilled, he instructed me to put the beer can in hot water. pffft! Pandai lah kau nak mengajar aku..

I was called up to Delhi on Monday and dear God, I was prepared for the passengers.. but the Bollywood Crew on my flight was hopeless!! I wasn't proud of it, but I admit.. I cursed a lot during the flight. And you could say that I was kiiinda bitchy that day.

My patience was thinning, so yeaaah..

And on a flight where everyone else was only catered ONE meal.. and us cabin crew had time only to have our meal ONCE.. the captain asked to have another go at the extra meals forty minutes before landing!

Pandai kan? Dahlaa makan dua kali.. Just before landing lak tu.. macam lah orang senang lenang sangat, nak layan dia sorang. pffft!

Lepas ni aku nampak captain ni, aku request awal awal taknak keje depan or keluar jalan or makan ngan dia! (Ada cerita lain tapi panjang nak taip.. malas. hehe)

Last week I spent the entire night talking with Chacha in BKI. He was doing some other flight but we were both nightstopping there that night. It was really nice. Been so long since I actually stayed up all night.. just talking. I've met a bunch of people, working in this line, but really.. to have someone that you could talk to for a whole night with is a rare find. Lepak bilik, minum kopi, smoke.. Cerita pasal life.. langsung tak masuk pasal company or gosip gosip. Instead of meeting again for breakfast, kitorang pegi breakfast dulu baru lah reti nak tido.

Terasa cam time time study dulu.. hahahha!

And my good friends had always been boys... pffft!

Oh well, I should head to bed now.

Macam tak letih je balek dari Delhi, sedangkan tulang belakang ni dah bunyik cam letup letup dah!

Wandering heart.

Happy.
Memang happy.
Happy tak bertempat kot?

I had the most fun in KK this past two days. Usually it's so boring even when there's a bunch of crew nightstopping there. I flew with Arep's course-mate. He'd told me to look for his friend a few times, and I had seen him around. Felt it was weird if I just came up to him and asked about Arep without being properly introduced. So it was cool to have finally been rostered together.
I also had my batchgirl; Sally, in the set! So really.. it was a cool flight! (Plus, our supervisor was really nice.) I liked the set a lot!

I didn't get much sleep, but it was a good trip. I don't mind losing some sleep. Not exactly something new. (In the past four days, I can honestly say that I'd only slept for a total of twelve hours! ..okay, that's crazy come to think of but that does not make it any less true.)

So anyway, now I'm home.. with two days off..
I better get a loooong sleep tonight.
But first, I need to go and remove my make-up. (Came home three hours ago and I'd only changed clothes before getting stuck writing this! hahahha!)

Been a while..

Hello!

I suppose you could say that I've been relatively happy lately. Hence the lack of posts; that are usually filled with my contempt with work, relationship or the world. hehe.

Oh I just noticed that I didn't say anything about Mumu's wedding!!
Somehow it feels weird to think that she's married. hahahaha! Knowing how wild and crazy she can get.. Oh well, congrats Mumu!! Would love to see the pictures soon..

Roster's been unexciting. Although I did have fun on my two trips to Penang. We've been getting a full day off in Penang on our roster this month.. and I truly enjoyed my trip. My set on the first trip was a super fun bunch. We rented a car, went to Batu Feringghi, they got on a banana boat (I wasn't dressed for the occasion.. sigh) spent the whole day driving around and had good food.

In the end we only slept for two hours before our flight the next day..
I can't complain.. I had so much fun that day!

Pay day came super early this month. Yeaah.. I needed that, but it's scary when you think about it.
I really should start saving up.

2012

People say that the world is going to end..

I suppose this means that one should go BIG or not go at all..

Resolutions?

I might have some. Last year's was so insignificant and half-heartedly made so I don't see the point of reviewing it.

This year.. well, I've made one so far; that is to become a hot-stuff. HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

I know how ridiculous it sounds. I can't even say it with a straight face. But I do wish for a hot-bod. Three days in of the new year, yesterday I had nasi lemak for breakfast then nasi briyani for lunch! I don't see how that helps towards having a hod-bod but I'm not stressing over it.

I think I also want to save money.. Actually start saving up instead of just saying that I want to.

Last night Dida and I were talking, reminiscing about our time in Europe.. Then Rai Whatsapp me out of nowhere during the day, telling me that he's still in Germany.. Then later in the evening Dida and I went to see Sherlock Holmes : Game Of Shadows and the protagonists were travelling through Paris, Germany and Switzerland..

A sign?

You know I would think so.

I just have a few things that I want to buy (ehem!) and then I can start saving up. I could start by controlling my impulsive buying. And for that, I should NOT be online when I am bored.. Bahahahahhaha!!

I want to write more.

Control my manic emotions.

Manage my anger.

Also, read more books!

I notice lately that my patience towards stupid people is dwindling and it doesn't help when I feel like I am becoming moronic myself. I would end up being angry at myself, which isn't good.. I suppose I'd imagined myself being more calm and collected as I grow older.

I'll be turning twenty-eight by the end of the year and I can't help but feel like I've been wandering in life aimlessly.

So I hope I'll be wiser.

Here's to the new year; may we all keep fighting for our goals.. and sanity!

Kahlil Gibran had said; Desire is half of life, Indifference is half of death. So yeah, there's no harm in wanting, as a matter of fact it is encouraged!

Happy New Year, my dear readers..

dot dot dot

I'm bored...

I just spent the last thirty minutes trying out the new Maybelline foundation I bought yesterday.. mm.. all dolled up with no place to go.

Anyway, my birthday turned out alright..

Despite Encem annoying me by leaving me all to myself while I was getting ready for work. He always does that; disappearing just when I'm about to leave for a while. pfft!

Moving on, I was happy enough to know earlier on that I was flying with a friend. (I always get nervous doing an Airbus flight, so having a friend around helps BIG time.)

Thinking that I was surely going to be put as a galley steward, my supervisor surprised me by putting me as cabin stewardess! yayyy! (And he maintained my working position on the way back too! yippeee!)

It had been a good flight to and fro. And I had fun walking around with Amy. We spent the morning in Citigate.. went to central Hong Kong in the afternoon.. and actually even went to Kowloon in the evening!!

A full day well spent.

Oh ohh! And I guess it's the culture.. At the end of day when we arrived in Hong Kong, my set crew actually sung Happy Birthday to me in the hotel lobby and chipped in to give me a pressie from the sales cart! hahahhaha!

Oh well.. it was nice.

Okay, I better go away and sit somewhere quietly before I yap about money and bills..

hahahhahahha!

High Eleven.

Suppose I'm in the writing mood this week.

Anyway, I had a good day.. Despite falling asleep at 6:30 in the morning and got called up exactly at 8:00 for a 12:35 flight which was scheduled to touchdown at 7:40 in the evening.
Aaaaaand.. I am still awake at this hour!
Well, my father did once casually say that I was a nocturnal creature.

But if my opinion counts at all, I would say that I am more of a morning person. I prefer getting my day start early than some time in the afternoon; I'd feel like I have wasted half a day doing nothing worth while. Same goes when it comes to work. The duty officer had offered me another flight with a shorter flight time and later reporting time but I guess since my sleep was ruined, and I was never really the type that could go back to sleep when that happens, might as well I just get up -- and work.

Don't I sound boring.

I had awesome people to work along yesterday, and because I was a joining crew, I worked with TEN people! Two different sets of crew but equally entertaining and awesome! So yeah.. Alhamdulillah..
Then on the way back from the airport I shared the transport with Adi and this one other guy who wouldn't stop talking about things that I didn't mind listening to. hahahaha!
That, my friend.. is a very rare happening.

So I get the day off today..
I couldn't decide on how to spend it. Stay at home? Wander aimlessly outside? After all, it IS just one day.. But.. It is the day before my birthday! -- the birthday which I will have to spend in an aircraft.. pretending to be vigilant.. serve food and drinks to strangers while smiling 'til my teeth hurts.
Yes, I know you can't exactly hurt your teeth, but you get it.

I'll be in Hong Kong on my birthday, Manila on Dida's birthday, Jakarta on Christmas and Kota Kinabalu on New Year's...
#crewlife..
I'm not exactly cheering though..

Ombak Rindu

So where do I begin..

I guess it started a week ago while I was in the saloon.
I saw a booklet of IKEA's Christmas stuff and saw a pair of cute slippers and I had to have! Seeing that there wasn't any call by 2 o'clock (I was on standby from 8 am 'til 4 pm) I asked Dida if she had any plans for the day.
She did.
She was going out with her friends to look at some cars and said that they'll pick me up after. Yayyz!

Sometime in the afternoon she called and asked if I could book some tickets for the movie online. I was hesitant  Mostly on principle (I don't really watch Malay movie.. or drama.. or what ever) but if she had insisted, I would have anyway. But she didn't.
So yeeaaah.. I thought we won't be doing that.
I have to admit though, I was curious about the movie since everyone raved about it.

Dida picked me up at 7, we went to have dinner and while we went to IKEA, her friends went to get tickets!!!

Mmm.. that was a long intro.
Just thought I'd do it How I Met Your Mother style. hahahahahha!!
Okay.. now.. the movie itself.

Characters were WEAK.
Editing was BAD.
Background music; AWFUL.
Shots were DISGRACEFUL.

Sure, I probably should not talk about shots and editing since I only studied that for a few semesters but.. ick! The change from one scene to another was HORRIBLE!! Things were out of focus, lines suddenly stopped halfway, and at one point there was some random person walking at the back of the scene!

Background music.. was basically the saaaame song being played again and again. It was annoying as heck! I don't think people genuinely like that soundtrack. They had just been brainwashed into thinking that they loved it! That song really stuck in your head and won't go away.
You know how in Hindi films, they would use that ONE song for a bunch of scenes but they would change the beat a bit and lose the lyrics.. well, not in this film! They keep using the same tune.. WITH the lyrics! Again.. and again.. and again..
Yes, it's probably a good song (I can honestly say that the lyrics were nice) but to have it keep repeat-peat-peat-peat-peating throughout the movie is just bloody annoying!!!

And oyy, the characters.. WEAK!! SO FRIGGIN' WEAKK!! If it was based on real people, boy.. these are one bunch of stupid people thrown together. Kudos to the actors though. That's the only thing that I can say positively about this movie. The actors were truly embracing their (stupid) characters. They believed that they were these people.

If I could sum the two-hour film into one word, it would be -- OVER-RATED!
I am honestly shocked -- no, appalled that THIS is what Malaysian thinks is "good". Seriously, people? 5.2 million.. for this?
Perhaps I should find the novel and see if it was well written to begin with.
But.. err yeaah.. The likelihood of that happening is very slim.

Anyway, I had a good night. Despite the bad movie (I wouldn't say it was disappointing; to be disappointed one would have to expect something to begin with) I had a good time with Dida and her friends -- mostly laughing inappropriately. Still laughing nontheless.
Plus my curiosity was fed. Good to know that I haven't missed much when it comes to the local entertainment scene.
I can go back to being the indifferent pompous jackass that I'd always been without guilt.

Biding time.

PMS sucks!

Okay, I thank God that I've been lucky for not getting those cramps that other girls get at that time of the month.

But my emotions go haywire. It sucks. Big time.
For instance, I cried listening to James Morrison's Right By Your Side last night. Pffft! And it wouldn't stop for a good hour.
So yeah.. SUCKS!!

I'll be on standby starting tomorrow for four days. I never liked being on standby. I hate it when I get woken up by a call from a person who tells me that I have to work!! Pffft!
SUCKS!

And I'll turn 27 in less than a week.. Ughhh! I really feel old. Especially when the people around me are evolving into someone's wife, husband, mother, father.. Bahh!
It feels so wrong when truthfully I feel happier when I don't think about marriage in the first place!
What the heck is WRONG with me?!

And I'm pissed a lot because I'm not really saying what I really mean to say.. "Secret secrets are no fun, secret secrets hurt someone.."
Yeaah, that's just me most of the time. I wasn't designed to keep my feelings and thoughts to myself and yet here I am... Beating around the bushes.
This isn't me.
I am hating this person that I've become.

Anyway, now I'm obsessed with Tiga Suara's Beribu Sesalan.. Berangan nak karok ngan Dida and Kina. Berangan lah boleh nyanyi that high pitch. Hah!

I need to get away from myself.

Crazies.

So, last night while I was doing a flight from Alor Setar, back to Kuala Lumpur..
A passenger said to me, "you look tired..."

KAU GILA AKU TAK PENAT??!
I got up at 8 in the morning, reported for duty at 11.. did Bali and back; which was full with heavy drinking foreigners, and instead of going home after a three hour flight each way, we had to do Alor Setar and back! Bloody rostering..

Of course, I only said that in my mind.. But I did told that passenger I couldn't wait to get home. I was so excited about getting home that even the passenger seated a few rows behind could hear me.
Anyway, I thank God that I got a wonderful set yesterday. I was tired, yes, but those group of people pretty much made my day.
Alhamdulillah.

Last week Dida and I went to Singapore to visit the H&M store. I know. We're nuts. We'd been planning this trip ever since we got the news that they're opening a store there. That was like, March? The store opened in September but we didn't have the time to go earlier.

Luckily I got three days off while the rest of the office-people are getting a long weekend. (Awal Muharram holidays.)

Another reason to go to Singapore; I need to get to the HRCs again!! Bahahahaha!!

So after my BKK flight on the 25th, I quickly changed my uniform to normal clothes to catch the last flight to Singapore! Encem was working that flight. heehee. Dida was already in Singapore, she drove all the way with a friend.

Funny thing happened while I was checking-in.. There was a guy standing behind the lady at the counter. His friends were telling him to go away and leave me alone. I myself couldn't help staring at him because he'd seemed SO familiar. Then I heard his friends calling him Faridz..

I had to ask him where he's from.

"Shah Alam."

So I laughed.. because he was really a friend from school!

Anyway, we ended up walking around the departure hall and hung outside to smoke while I waste some time before my flight. Funny to have bumped into him like that. Amusing that I've been working for more than two years and only now I found out that he'd been working at the airport for almost nine years!

So anyway, I had a good trip. Managed to get a pin from HRC T3! yippee!

The only HRC in an airport is in Changi Terminal 3. So yeah.. In two days I managed to go to five HRC! T3, Singapore, Singapore Hotel, Sentosa.. and Melaka!

Now, Melaka's Cafe isn't open yet but their Rock Shop is and it seems like the only people who worked there were male. Hmmm..

mm okay. I'm tired of typing. I feel like getting an ice-cream.

東京!

If you have 24 hours in Tokyo...
How would you spend your day?

Well, I suppose I wasn't much of a tourist nor a traveller..
I was just a girl with a mission.
Instead of going to Disneyland or visit the Tokyo Tower or even take a photo with Hachiko, I decided to hit all the Hard Rock Cafes that was within reach! bahahhahaha!
I'm nuts. I know.

So basically I don't really have a picture of myself in Tokyo.. Except maybe this;

hahahahahha!
Anyway, I had a good time even when I had spent most of the day in the train.
Feels kinda proud that I didn't get lost, not even once. heehee!

**the red 'X' marks the closest train station to the hotel while the purple 'X' were the places that I went to.

So.. four HRC in one day.. And there will be a remake of this insanity in a few days.. (in someplace else though..)
I got really cute pins while I was visiting all those HRC.. so yeah.. I was doing something I truly enjoyed in those few hours I got. It was raining all day anyway. So thank God I wasn't so keen on sight-seeing.

Met Hafiz Karim for the first time. teehee! I find it amusing how I had to be in Tokyo to finally meet him.

And now I'm back home.. spending the day off with Encem before going back to Shah Alam tomorrow.. *grins*

Deteriorating.

Flu.
Blocked ears.
Snot oozing.
Food has no taste.

Meds not working.

Bad mood.
Tokyo tomorrow night.
Pfftt!

Piss off!

Bruised and battered.

So...
My heart took another beating.
I really don't know how long I can take it anymore. I suppose if I read through my Moleskine, it's pretty clear that I go back and forth every week -- pretty much since the first week!
So what does that say about me?
Indecisive?
Madly in love??

Pffft! If that's what it is.. I don't think I would've started had I known..
Perhaps I would be satisfied with mediocrity. I may never learn how to be happy so I might as well accept being mediocre.

Anyway, I am currently out of town. Bored. Sleepless. Lonely as ever.
Running out of cigarettes because I had nothing else better to do and losing any interest to food. Bah!
I pray that I won't pass out or anything of the likes when I need to work.

Doing anything in a foul mood just blows, really..

Sent from my BlackBerry® via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

$_$

I shall refrain from blogging about money.. uuuh...

I suppose I can be quite a big spender.. sometimes. But really, I blame my sucky roster for giving me boring flights and pretty lousy allowances that restraints my livelihood. hahahaha!

Oh well, I'm not doing too bad really. I'm just grumpy that I can't shop carelessly like a couple of months back. These past two months (and next month too, by the looks of it!) I only have enough to pay my bills, rent and food. (And yes, I do get to spend luxuriously on food..)

I'm just being a brat, is all..

I had wanted to buy yet another Lomo camera (pffft!) but I guess that one will have to wait. I'll just worm my way around getting something else for the time being.

*manic laugh* Yes, my friends.. instead of accepting that I can't afford one thing so I'll just put away what I have for next time, I decided to get something else that I can afford! hahahaha!

ughhh.. I probably need help.

I have enough camera anyway.. (I'm trying to convince myself that!) What I don't have is a magnet thingy for my artsy-crafty crap. heehee. Perhaps I'll show you what I'd do with it once it arrives.

Oh, I saw Good Will Hunting for the first time yesterday.. I suppose I should've seen it a couple of times at least, but I don't know.. I guess I thought that I've seen it before but I just couldn't remember a thing about it..? haha! Anyway, it was a really good watch.

The moment Matt Damon started seeing Robin Williams (who played as a psychiatrist) I knew why the film won so many awards.. I love love LOVE the speech in the park..

The day before that I watched Last Night, starring Kiera Knightley, Sam Worthington and Eva Mendes. mm.. yeah, I hated that one. Mostly because I found it too heavy for my heart.. or brain. What ever. It's really a simple sort of movie.. Kinda straight forward. Just kinda..

I find myself thinking too much about how it ended, really.

The difference between a man and a woman..

I've been getting too many off days lately, it's a wonder how I manage to NOT shop until today.. bahahha!

Singapore layover later this evening.. I gotta remind myself to ask the hotel something I'd been meaning to ask. Oooh I really can't wait for my trip with Dida later in the month!

It's going to be a mini-Hard Rock Cafe tour. I was hoping to finally get my hands on some T3 pins! rawrr! I find it quite ludicrous that there are FOUR friggin' Hard Rocks in Singapore!

And yes, I've been to three of them but I wasn't enrolled in the Pin Collector's Club before.. So now I have to go back. (mm yeah, it's a bit too complicated to explain and I'm lazy. I doubt you'd be interested to read it anyway. Let's just say I'm a seriously obsessed Pinhead.) We're really going to have a look at the H&M store.. but while we're at it, you know. Plus, we could stop over in Melaka on the way back to visit the new HRC!

Bahahahahha!

Aaah.. so many plans this month.. Kinda.

heehee.

Kisah Bisul Pecah.

#crewlife

Kelmarin aku balek dari 4-days trip yang boleh lah tahan meletihkan. Sector-wise, first dengan last day je yang buat kerah tenaga habis habisan. Tapi.. aku dapat lah pulak set yang kaki makan/jalan... Sekali sekala dapat one whole set yang sama wave length ngan kau, takkan kau nak lepaskan peluang, ye dak?

So first day tu, KUL/TWU/KUL/KBR.
Sampai Kota Bharu dah dekat midnite. Kebiasaan crew akan keletihan dan pilih untuk duk dalam bilik order room service ataupun lupakan saja niat nak makan lalu terus tidur.. Tapi set aku tak; sampai di lobby, dapat kunci bilik, tanya front desk kat mana ada kedai still bukak -- "Okay, 10 minit turun eh."
So naik cepat cepat, taruk barang, tukar baju cam pelesit, kencing sat pastu turun!
Memang semua orang turun, kecuali Captain.. (Co-pilot memang kaki jalan, aku tau dah sebab kitorang nitestop KHH sama last month.)

Alhamduliilah, malam tu Leading aku belanja kitorang makan.. Macam tau tauuu je aku memang sengkek abes. Actually gaji dah masuk aritu, tapi aku pun belum sempat gi ATM. Alhamdulillah lagi, gaji masuk awal...
Pastu kitorang jalan balek ke hotel sambil plan esok nak brunch apa..

Pagi esok, kul sebelas kitorang jalan jalan carik nak makan apa. Kali ni Captain ikut sekali. Aku, co-pilot ngan dua stewardess tapau nasi kerabu kat stall pastu rendezvous ngan yang lain kat restoran. (Captain tak makan kat stalls kot.. pfft!) Nasi kerabu, co-pilot belanja.. Air ngan lauk tambahan kat restoran tu Captain bayar.. Alhamdulillah...

Petang tu kitorang fly KBR/KUL/KCH lak.. Tuka dah tech crew.
Alkisahnya, Captain kali ni landing entah cemana ntah.. boleh tahan kuat la hentaknya. Dah keluar kapal malam tu, stewardess aku yang sorang ni dengan tak segan silu pegi gurau sama Captain kata bisul dia pecah sebab landing tu. hahaha. Dengan Captain baik, kau bole la gurau camtu eh...

So malam tu kitorang ramai ramai keluar makan lagi.. Aku layan sotong penyet ngan pisang goreng cheese. Captain ni lak belanja.. Mungkin sebab rasa bersalah. haha! Apa apa pun, Alhamdulillah..
Plan brunch sama lagi esoknya..
Kul sebelas pagi dah kenyang mee kolok. Tak sempat Captain nak kuar duit, steward aku dah gi baya diam diam.. Murah rezeki sorang sorang. Air, Captain tak sempat pape dah hulur cepat cepat.

Flight untuk third day cuma KCH/MYY/KCH.
Balek tu pun tuka baju, terus keluar sebab nak jalan jalan kat The Hills kejap. Tengok tengok barang sikit tapi tak beli apa pun. Kul 7:30 dah jumpa yang lain kat tempat makan.. Malam ni baruuu lah keluar duit sendiri..

Esok tu balek KL empat sektor; KCH/BKI/SDK/BKI/KUL.
Bapak letih, dengan flight full nyee.. Banyak kerenah semuanya. Tapi entah kenapa kitorang pun good mood je. Aku siap kene marah ngan pax yang sorang ni sebab katanya aku tak kasi dia air lagi.. bebel ntah pape la dia, sampai kan pax yang sebelah dia suggest kat aku suh kasi dua kotak air kat orang tu terus. hahaha! Dah aku terhibur kat situ walaupun kene bebel.

And sempat pulak ada pax kasi message ni kat aku;

hahaha takleh blah..
Dahlaa bukan aku pun yang serve dia time service. Tetiba je..
And kat penghujung flight tu, ada pax lain lak hulur duit kat Leading on the way dia keluar sambil cakap, "lunch is on me.." Ewahh! Dapat lah kitorang RM 20+ sorang.. Cover balek duit makan aku malam sebelum tu! hahahahahha Alhamdulillah...

Some days I can't help but feel.. dilindungi Tuhan. hahahahha! Trust me to romanticize things.. Tapi ye lah, time aku sengkek yang amat, time tu la pula adaa saja orang tolong hulur. Alhamdulillah sangat.. Dan flight yang ala ala siot pon aku end up terhibur. I feel so lucky and blessed..

Roster bulan depan tak memberangsangkan, tapi aku still bersyukur.. Aku masih ada kerja. Aku masih suka kerja aku walaupun ada malas tu kadang kadang. Ada lima malam kat Kuching next month. Muntah darah bila difikirkan, tapi tak apalah.. Aku patut fikir positif buat masa ni. Timing cuti aku sedap je -- Dida plan nak pegi Singapore lagi. hehe! And I am rostered for Haneda. Alhamdulillah.. Walaupun short stay, sempat la merasa sebelum B777 amek that route.
Nantikan kedatanganku, Hard Rock Cafes! Akan ku jajahi semuanyaaa! bahahahhaha!!

Aku kena tuka duit cepat cepat so aku tak terbelanjakan.. hehe..

I'd forgotten..

..The last time I really really felt poor.
Okaylaa.. I probably used that word a few weeks ago, tapi haritu punya sengkek tak seteruk kali ni. Duit kat tangan tak sampai lima puluh ringgit, kat both Maybank and CIMB; even collectively tak sampai seratus! Lepas tu esok start four-days trip.
Sedih.
Ada la kan duit yang aku sorok sorok tu, tapi.. I'm really hoping not to touch it!
Tapi mampu ke aku bertahan untuk tak sentuh duit tu sampai gaji masuk? Soalan paling penting, cukup ke duit aku untuk pegi trip empat hari ni? Takkan aku tak sekali pun keluar makan, kan?

Alkisahnya, mungkin aku terlebih belanja bulan lepas.. Gara gara membayar bil credit card bulan lepas, duit aku ala ala cukup makan je to sustain me 'til the next pay day. But I guess I overlooked my bank statement. Rupanya duit yang ala ala cukup makan tu, belum tolak lagi duit insurance.
Maka pada malam tiga belas haribulan selepas aku withdraw RM100 dari CIMB haritu.. terkejut beruk sat bila tengok balance kat resit tinggal RM43.30.
Hmmmmmph!

Selepas kejadian tu aku masih tenang.. I know I had another two hundred in my Maybank.
And yet bila pagi tadi aku tengok M2U, balance tinggal RM80 -- WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!!
Lalu aku pon tengok lah Account Details...
So.. I bought something online a few months back but the item was backordered. In the case where an item is backordered, usually the store is pre-authorised to debit the amount once the item is available and shipped.
SEKARANG LAH KANNN KAU BARU NAK AVAILABLE?! Syialan..
Hmmmmphhhhh!!!

It is all bad timing, really. Dida reckons that I suck at managing my money, but I don't think so. I know how to control my spending. I wouldn't have spent as much last month if I know that I couldn't afford it -- but I can. And as for the overlooking my insurance; the auto-debit was on a later date last month.. that's why I overlooked it. The pre-authorization? Manalahh aku tau dia nak tolak bulan ni pulak kannnnn?
Adoi.. Wrong timing.
Anyway, lesson of the month? Lain kali jangan tinggalkan duit cukup cukup makan je.. pfft!

It's been a good day, by the way.
Encem left for his trip but I wasn't left alone for long. I'd spent the day with Ablen after sooooo long not seeing him. Made me miss the Original Members. hehe. Rindu zaman melepak ramai ramai with MY friends. I guess these days I only hang out with people who are also friends with Encem -- or really, Encem's friends! It's been such a long long time since I met up with MY friends.

Nothing wrong with hanging out with Encem's friends, tapi kadang kadang tu terasa bosan.. I'd feel like an outsider. They share a history and speak in a different language. I don't necessarily feel comfortable, mostly sebab aku rasa macam penyebok. Kemana Encem pergi, ke situlah juga aku ikut. Not exactly the sort of girlfriend I want to be, really.

So, thank you so so much Ablen for asking me out! The timing -- was PERFECT. hehe.

Semalam lak pegi Muar untuk sambungan Tea & Coffee Program haritu! It was a really good trip. I felt like I learned something -- langsung tak macam pegi BOH haritu.. pshh! Perhaps being a coffee-lover made the difference, but I'd say that it was the host! They were an awesome bunch of people!
I'm really really glad that I signed up for the program. I've got an email to write of the trip, but alahai malasnyee.. Maybe once I get back from work.