Kepala pusing.

Oh hey! Finally I get the chance to have an update of some sort.
I didn't sleep at all last night. Coming home at almost one.. seemed a bit pointless to try to get any sleep when I need to wake up at four.
It's times like this when I'm glad that I am not operating on any flight today.

So I'm at the domestic lounge today. Kris Dayanti just walked in half an hour ago, looking gorgeous. (But a little too much makeup. So when I say "gorgeous", I meant her bod! hahahha) I'm trying to shake off the embarrassment of asking for a picture together. I'm not wearing a good bra, or my good pair of uniform so I'd look unshapely standing next to her! (Oh heck, I just don't feel attractive today.)
But Mencintaimu is my must-sing song everytime I go to karaoke!
So we'll see..

If you're a friend on my Facebook, you've probably seen my status that I will no longer be in the lounge next month -- meaning that I'll be a full-time flight crew once again! Yippeee!
So glad that our time in purgatory has ended. (Well, I have one more day to get through tomorrow.) Honestly not everything that has happened is bad. I've made new acquaintances, learnt a bit of the system.. and really, I wouldn't have met half of these people if we weren't stuck in this together. It gets a little sad thinking that we won't be able to hang out as often after this.
But really.. I'm very glad to only have my flights to bitch about after this! hahhaha

Oh!

Like I said.. Unattractive. sigh.

Six hours to go.. God have mercy on me.

When in Jakarta...

My set were basically people who were at the lounge as well.. so we got along pretty well. They were actually doing a few days trip, and I only joined them for the Jakarta flight. One actually asked me if I'd taken my medicine as I got on the airfcraft. Yeah.. well.. these people know how nutty I can get.

One of my stewardess is getting married this year, so we went to ITC Mangga Dua so she could look at some stuff for the wedding while Syam (my fellow Tea & Coffee Ambassador! hahhahha!) and I browsed at nothing in particular.

Naturally, "nothing in particular" ends up in a haul!!

I got handbags for Dida and Encem's Mama for Rp50,000 each. (Roughly RM16 -- bargain!) I got myself a black clutch for Rp60,000. A pair of flats; Rp35,000, a couple corsets and some makeup stuff that are not in the picture. A friend of mine gave me a brow liner some months ago and I just LOVE it! So of course, I need back-ups for it.

At some point, we were looking at wedding dresses and I couldn't take my eyes off of this one;

So pretty!!! It's yellow, I definitely wouldn't wear it.. but the design was exquisite! Lace at the top and a luscious bottom. So.. so pretty. The shop lady said it is Rp7.5 million. That's RM2,400. For a wedding dress.. that doesn't seem a lot. I'm pretty sure that's the cost of renting that sort of dress around here anyway.

So pretty!

We were walking some more then I saw this!

A pair of butt-looking panties! I couldn't help myself but laughed out loud. It was scary and intriguing at the same time. Syam said it looked "sexy", the pervert! I laughed again, of course. Basically this is a padded panties that you wear so your butt looks fuller. Lebih mantop! hahhahahha!

The idea of putting on an additional butt is too scary for me so NO, I didn't get it. hahahha!

One more flight before my flying week ends and hell starts again.

So I'm going to enjoy this two days off and sleep as much as I can!

#crewlife?

Spent pretty much the whole of yesterday sleeping!
A shame, really. Especially when I'm not particularly fond of sleeping to begin with. Feels like I've wasted a chunk of my life!
But I was back in Shah Alam and it was so damn HOT!! -- before it was pouring rain, that is.
Funny how an English couple asked me how the weather in LGK was just before the flight.. I told them that the captain said it's good and sunny -- for now, I added. They laughed.
And as we arrived in Langkawi, it rained quite heavily.. so we laughed some more.
You can never tell the weather these days.

HKG was chilly from the breeze. I liked the weather. It's like a rainy day in Malaysia, minus the rain. My crew and I went up The Peak. It was my second time up there, but first time by bus. The ride was pretty nerve-wrecking. Scarier than by tram because of the winding road and low tree branches. (It was a double decker bus!)
The view was incredible.. I would've enjoyed it more if I wasn't too scared of heights. (And I am a flight crew.. life couldn't be more ironic than that.)

Afterwards we split up, my supervisor went back to the hotel because it was getting too cold for him (he only had a shirt on), my steward/ess went looking for prey and my stewardess followed me walking around the shopping area.
We got back to the hotel around eight.. and of course, with quite a haul.

Some were mine, one was for Dida, and I got a little something for Mumu and Mami as well.
I got myself an HRC pin from The Peak.. mostly because there hasn't been any addition to my collection for months, which I thought was sad. I also bought a pair of skirt, jegging, a sweater and a muffler. (It was really thick and long and costs only RM20!) Then at the drugstore, I got a Bourjois foundation that I've been meaning to try out -- the brand is unavailable in Malaysia, so I was really hoping to find it in HK. So glad that I did! Also Revlon's Color Silk hair colour in Deep Burgundy, that costs RM17! Total bargain.
Oh, I also got a matte nail top coat from Sasa. Never heard of the brand but I've been looking for one in ages, so what the heck!

Oh yes, I've been having a little trouble with shopping lately. (Lately?)
It's more like "I can't quiet down my wants."

Anyway, back from flight I spent the night with Dida.. went to see Warm Bodies which was surprisingly enjoyable! We felt like watching something light, and the trailer seemed a bit goofy. We both got out of the cinema with smiles on our faces and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!
I honestly really liked it. I might even loved it.
I can honestly say that it is now my favourite zombie-movie, closely followed by Shaun Of The Dead. (yepp, I am only into zombie-movies if they're funny.)

So now I'm back in Bukit Jalil. Coloured my hair and barely recognized myself. Turns out "Deep Burgundy" looks "Practically Black" on me so it felt a bit unnatural when I am so used to seeing myself with brown hair. Even my natural dark hair looks brown under the light while this one just looks.. black.
Feels like I should get a black lipstick and go all Gothic.
Oh well, at least it covers my grey hairs.

That's it for now. I feel like I should stare into my drawers so I could figure out what to bring for my Jakarta trip tomorrow.
Be safe, dear readers.

Free internet.

Helloooooo Hong Kong!
Oh yes, this post comes to you all the way from Hong Kong! Fancy, huh?
The time now is a quarter past one and I have a double-shot coffee in front of me. heh. Stupid machine didn't have any labels for the buttons so I'd pushed the button for espresso unknowingly.
Oh well, what can you do?

I was late for my flight's briefing on Wednesday. Daily KCH flight.
I came down for my pick-up at 0625. Sat on my trolley bag.. fixed my make up a bit.. stared at the cars passing by as its driver made their way to work..
Then something made me want to look at my flight details; STD -- 0825! Which meant that my pick-up was at 0525!!!

So I called Encem, woke him from his sweet slumber, asked him to send me to the airport. Oh sigh, dear God, bless that boy. Then I called the duty officer to inform my colleagues that I'd got my time wrong. (Briefing was at 0655!)
Nak dijadikan cerita, Encem needed to fill the tank of his car and didn't bring his wallet (too sleepy to think) and I only had a few Ringgit in my purse. We drove to BHP, but the doors were still locked. Drove to Shell, same thing! Good thing there was a Maybank just opposite of the gas station so Encem drove the car like a rally driver, I jumped out of the car to get to the ATM, jumped back into the car and we drove back to Shell.
When I got to the airport, I looked at the departures screen and saw that the aircraft was parked at B11!! Way at the end of the terminal. Baguslah, nak dijadikan cerita lah kan..
Anyway, I got to the aircraft about 10 minutes before the passengers board which was just enough time for me to change into my sandals and stow my bag.
Oh! And instead of being an assist crew, I was Primary 4 -- because I was the only girl in the set! Gahh!

The flight itself was uneventful -- thank God! Enough drama for one morning.

Okay. Nothing else to share. Honestly, I really do feel that I am much more eloquent when describing sadness. hahahha! That is almost depressing.
I'm looking forward to daybreak. Pretty excited to walk around the city though I'm not really sure what I want to do/see. It's been a year since I was here last. Last time I was excited about being able to shop at H&M and visit the Hard Rock Cafe. But I'd already visited the one in Lan Kwai Fong and also The Peak.. and there are H&M in Kuala Lumpur now.
So....

Perhaps I'll let you know what I ended up with in my next entry.

Oh, I forgot to bring my make-up remover wipes. (Loving Simple's wipes, by the way! I've used Nivea's since I joined the airline -- because I am LAZY.. but I tried Simple's late last year and I ADORE it!) So happens that the one I had in my bag ran out on the last night of my previous trip and it completely slipped my mind to chuck a new pack into my bag yesterday.
So I'll be going McGyver-ish and use the hotel's complimentary lotion to remove my make up tonight.

Busy?

Not really..
Just enjoying myself for the most part.

Yesterday's flight was super tiring. It was only BKK and back but it was full load and we were short of crew. (What's new?) I didn't enjoy the company of one of the stewards I had. He talks big, as if he's the awesomest (no, that's not a word) person in the whole wide world!
Out of ten things that came out from his mouth, I'd probably listened to two.

On the way back we had a bunch of locals coming back from a company vacation. At one point I was pushing my cart because it was already full, and while these passengers were trying to catch my attention to make a request, I just told them to wait a bit and that I'll come back in a jiffy.
Then I heard this one fella said, "itulaa, dulu suruh belajar pandai pandai tak nak.."
.......
I'd much rather hit him with one of the tea/coffee jugs, but what came out of my mouth was simply, "wow, biadapnye.."
And later the same fella had the nerve to ask me where I was from.. pffft! And he thinks he's smart.

Would it be racist to confess here that I never liked flying with a bunch of locals? They always have this kind of attitude as if they deserve more than the rest. And they're rarely ever kind. Which is weird! Because I'm pretty sure they were taught to be polite at least.

Anyway, my back aches. I suppose I was never fully rested from my days at the lounge. Out of the ten days there, I was doing Meet & Greet for eight! That is a LOT of walking. I'm not really complaining, I like that task. At least I don't have to stand around like an eejit in the lounge.
Then last weekend I was mall-hopping with Dida. We basically went to EIGHT friggin' malls on Saturday alone! Since she had lost so much weight, she needed to find a new pair of everything. I am happy for her. From size 18/20.. she can now fit into a size 12! She's incredible. She said that she aims for size 10, and maybe then she'll start eating carbs again.

I don't think I could ever say no to potatoes. And coffee.
I'm at my heavy/chunky-phase at the moment. I blame rice.. indirectly Encem, because he's the one who cooks them! You'll never see me cook rice. Well, maybe you will. I have no problem cooking rice, but I never knew how to prepare all the things that goes along with it.
But I've been to Starbucks a LOT lately. Which is sucky in its awesome way. I really ought to cut down on those. Sugar.. carbs.. bad bad BAD!!

Okay, nothing else to share. I have a pretty early pick-up tomorrow.
Hope you guys are having  a good week!

Oy, I'm getting old.

It's flying week! Yippeee!
I'm back from a three-nights KCH trip, and my whole body aches. Can't wait to hit the showers.. right after I peel off this pore strip I have on. Can't wait to lather on my off-day bodywash and shampoo.
Yes, I have an off-day bodywash and shampoo. I refuse to use it for everyday because they smell too good; so I save them for special occasions -- like off days! hahahhha!

Seems like my grey hair is spreading. Used to be just at the front part of my hair (like Rogue), now they're at the sides too! aghhhh! That really bugs me. Guess it's time to hit the saloon.. Maybe after pay day. Or maybe I'll use one of those DIY kits this time. I don't know.. I'll decide later.

Flights hadn't been eventful. They're all alright, but nothing much to talk about.

Damn stupid pore strip just made me cry.
Oh, that's my cue for soapy-time!
Perhaps I'll write some more later.

Have a good weekend, everybody!

Week's review!

Oh wow, aren't I interesting to actually have a review of the week?

Anyway, it's been a good one.
I was flying from the end of last month 'til last Sunday. I came for the lounge on Monday, had a day off and been working for four days in a row. And pretty much each night I go to bed at 6am! (Except tonight since it's already 7 in the morning..)
Yeah, I'm troubled. Only this time I am referring specifically to my trouble sleeping.

Flying had been good. I enjoyed myself pretty much on most flights. Even all the delays and short of crew can't keep me down. I had the pleasure, and great luck to fly with good people! Alhamdulillah..
Nothing much on the flying week I suppose. Or maybe I'd waited too long to write about it that I have now forgotten all of the details! hahhahha

My feet hurts and my whole body aches. But my heart is full, and that's what matters the most.
A passenger looked for me by name earlier, which I thought was crazy. I was on a ciggy break and my colleague texted me; "an Indian fella was asking about you".. I thought he was joking! But somehow a face came to mind.

And true enough, the person who was looking for me was a frequent traveller that I keep bumping into at the lounge. I just never thought that he'd remember my name.. I'm pretty sure that I haven't seen him for weeks.. if not months.
Anyway, I enjoyed talking to him. He's just one of those guys who are easy to talk to.
Oh, and he thought I looked Eurasian if not Sarawakian.. which was amusing. He suggested that perhaps somewhere in my ancestry was of Caucasian blood, and I just told him that they're all Indonesian as far as I know. hehe

And today I bumped into an uncle at the aerotrain! I was fussing over my airport ID when somebody approached me. I got quite the shock since I'd only seen him last month at the customs area! Feels like I only get to see my family if they were in the airport somehow..
Basically I've been bumping into a LOT of familiar faces this week..

I'm all out of things to share!
My nails are blue now. I'm gonna talk about that on Tumblr after I get some sleep.
Hope you're all enjoying your weekend.

Bliss.

Can I say that I love myself when I'm in this mood?
Well, things been good and I could easily say that I'm happy.
So naturally, I'm afraid. This feeling doesn't stick too long most of the time. But I'm hoping..
I really love the way I am feeling.

Even when I am blogging this at the lounge.
I am wide-eyed, you have no idea how scary that looks to other people. hahaha!
I figured three cups of coffee would do that to a person. A relatively normal person, anyway.
My nails are green; looks pretty good with the uniform. (I might post a picture later since I'm ALL about nails lately.)

Apparently my Tumblr looks like a make-up blog now, according to Bestie.

Anyway, I'm feeling good.. that's pretty much all I wanted to say.
Have a great week everyboddeh!

Oh! I should probably blog about my flying week next.

Dizzy.

I've been down with a nasty fever for the past couple of days. I didn't go to any clinic because the ones that I usually go to would always make me wait long enough at the waiting room for me to wish that I'd just die right there. So I went into shaman mode and basically take a cold shower every few hours so the heat would leave my body -- and had Panadols.. hahaha!
It worked, I no longer have a fever. But I'm at that stage where I am sort of floating, and everything tastes like metal in my mouth. ughh.

Dida and Encem offered to bring me to the doctor everyday.. But the doctors that I usually end up seeing are.. how shall I say this kindly.. hmm.. Useless.
So honestly speaking, I'd much rather take things into my own hands. I mean, wouldn't you rather die by your own stupidity than a doctor's incompetence? (Okay, perhaps that is just me.)

Being sick also makes me an emotional wreck. I must've cried like fifteen thousand times! I would laugh about something with Encem and the next minute I'd cry non-stop. Even tv shows makes me cry. Tv shows that isn't Grey's Anatomy! (I always cry watching that, whether I'm sick or not..)
So yeah,  hate being sick. Crying all the time just makes it worse.

I was scolded by a passenger on my previous flight. Apparently I was rude to her when I asked her to wait when she asked for a refill of her tea. She recommended that I should go back to training school for the way I behaved blablablaa and she asked, "you get me?"
I said yes.. Not a single apology though. Perhaps I was kinda rude, but to me that was just me being normal. She had asked for a refill when I wasn't even pushing my cart. I was holding a few trays as the passengers at the back haven't even got their meals!
So yeah, I am rude to selfish, inconsiderate bastards. Funny thing was, everyone around her was looking at HER funny, and not at all treated me differently. So, if any of you behaves like an inconsiderate mother-effer on my flight.. do expect rudeness in return.

That makes the second obvious complaint against me since I've been flying. The first was during my first month on the job. A passenger vomited on the aisle while meal service was in commence. I can't remember how or why but I stepped on that puddle of yuck and said (under my breath), "shoot".
At the end of flight my supervisor told me that the sister of the sickly person complained to him that I'd used a vulgar word, and not at all sensitive to the situation.
Honestly, I'd like to see her step into that crap and say "yippee".

People are just weird sometimes..
I do have one more story to tell. But I don't think I'm gonna. It's not funny nor amusing.. So I'd rather be pissed in silence. heh.
I do hope that my head would come back to the ground soon. Gonna be up all night tonight! Four bloody days of absurdity and another day off. It sucks that I'd spend my weekend off being sick. sigh..

F.

You know that feeling you get when things just goes wrong for you?

I just had that sort of day..
When not ONE single thing goes my way. And instead of feeling disappointed or upset, I am plain PISSED!

Seriously, I hate everything and anyone right now. Maybe I'll change my mind in a bit but for now, I am just full of HATE!!!

I hate "privelleged" people. I definitely hate politicians. I hate people with "titles" because honestly, if noone knows exactly the contribution you made to get the title, you definitely didn't earn it.

And I hate that I feel like I keep on giving and giving and getting nothing back! I hate doing favours for people that I don't even like or remotely care.

I hate that I curse everytime I look or think about my roster next month. I am complaining, I know. But I deserve to complain. I SHOULD complain, not all those other kids who complains how their friends got two Taipei and they only got one. COME ON!!!
We have a saying that goes, "if you're not happy, resign."
For once I am really contemplating about it.

Shit.
I should've stick to my plan years ago. This isn't how I imagined my life would be. I was never meant to stay here and be anybody's bitch.

Damn it! I must get out from all this crap.
Sent from my BlackBerry® via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.

Two sides of every story..

It makes me sad thinking that my friends would gang up on Encem.
And I realize that it's partly my fault..
Haven't you noticed that I mostly write when I'm feeling sappy?
Honestly speaking, I wouldn't BE writing if I wasn't. Most of the time anyway. When I am thoroughly enjoying life, you wouldn't find me writing about it because I'd rather enjoy my life than write about it!

So yeah, I'm miserable a lot. (Or at least I use the word a lot!)
And yes, Encem may or may not be the cause of it.
But to judge him solely based on MY blog is unfair.. because that's just one side of our story.

Let's start off with this; I may or may not have a stable mind to begin with. Dida shall be a witness to that. She plainly calls me "weird". She understands me.. and is completely clueless about me at the same time. But she loves me. Plus, she's my sister so whether she likes it or not.. she accepts me.
Examples of my mind's instability; I speak of death a whole LOT! And I remember saying out loud that I should die when I was EIGHT after a quarrel with Dida. hahahhaha! Do you know anyone who speaks of suicide at the age of eight?
Oh, I am also WAAAY too emotional for my own good.
And when I'm disappointed with someone, I'd think of suicide (rather than murdering the person) just so that person could not make it up to me. In hopes that they'll regret it for the rest of their long lives. Oh yes, I am horribly spiteful.

Honestly, I think I would've been long dead if I didn't believe in God, religion, heaven and hell..

So now comes in Encem..
Is he my soulmate? No idea!
Is it practical to be with him? Not really.. generally I think it's more practical to be alone.
Do I enjoy being in a monogamous relationship? ..well, my thoughts are hardly ever monogamous.
But it isn't fair for me to expect him to SAVE me, is it?
I have this idea that my soulmate should FIX me.. but at the same time, my pride would rather have me fix myself! Hence the constant talk that I need noone.

But the facts are -- I've been with Encem for more than three years. He makes me laugh, he makes me cry. Sometimes he cries with me. He buys me books instead of chocolates, he's incredibly patient and I can never get enough of his hugs.
He cooks for me and I'm pretty sure it's been almost a year since I last made anything for him.
He takes care of me when I'm sick, and he's rarely ever speak ill of me.
Unlike me.. on this blog. See, he doesn't need a blog to speak his mind because he actually says them out loud -- if you manage to pry it out of him.

It isn't his fault that I'm such a needy prick.
He's been the same person that he's always been.
And I never even knew that I could be this needy before I met him. I must admit that in the past, I would've been the one who is chased after. Everything was just too easy.
Encem annoys the crap out of me sometimes.. but he makes me feel alive. (Yes, that sounds corny.)

So don't hate him when you don't even know him.. Only I'm allowed. hehe
Plus, my expectations of him is VERY high, you have no idea.
I'm sorry if you get tired of me venting about my love life.. And I can assure you that it's not going to stop anytime soon.

A line from The Perks Of Being a Wallflower;
We accept the love we think we deserve..
..now, what crossed his mind to think he deserve a psycho like me..?

Want and Need.

I believe, there is a huge difference between needing and wanting to be with someone.
To need gives you no choice. For what ever reason, you must be with the person. It's almost pragmatic.. or calculative.
To want is a choice. A choice that you made each day.. to stay.

See, I don't need you.
And wanting you can change.

Silence is virtue.

I know I've been quiet lately..
Nothing much to say really..

Oh, last night Encem noticed blood in my right eye. I thought it was the normal dot that I've always had.. turns out it was something else! Looks alarming. Kinda scary. I babbled a bit while I tried to calm myself down.
Then I looked it up on Google and diagnosed myself as having Subconjuctival Hemorrhage. Yepp.. bleeding in the eye. No idea how that happened, but apparently it's nothing serious and it should go away in two weeks.

I still went to see the doctor, just to make sure and he told me the same thing that I already knew..
So I'll be having scary-looking right eye for two weeks. gahh!

Other than that.. nothing's going on in my life.
Promised myself not to talk about money, so I'm not gonna.. hehe

2013.

Not loving my year so far..
Kinda wishing it would end. Perhaps I should end altogether..

Yes, I am feeling rather dark and twisted.

Started the year with some promising resolution.. But after two weeks, I guess my expectations got low and I am left with just one;
to get through a week without crying.

That's all I'm asking.

Addicted.

Ebay is EVIL.
I've been on it for an hour looking at OPI nail polishes.
I'm addicted to colouring my nails somehow. Well, it's something to do. Keeps my mind off of things. So I get myself focused on the lighter side of life; like, what colour should I paint my nails with next?

I've been feeling like I'm cheating on Blogger lately. Mostly because I've been on Tumblr more often than here. Somehow Tumblr makes me feel younger..? Made me feel free to rant and actually post pictures of my nails! HAHAHHAHHA! Feels kinda vain, but somehow having it on Tumblr makes it feel okay.
How odd is that anyway?

I've been sad, to be honest.
Just typing those out makes me want to cry. I'd really hate to admit it but it's the truth. I've been complaining about my job a lot lately. Too much for my own liking. I'm unhappy at the lounge.. and I'm complaining about flying. Basically means I belong nowhere!
Sure, if you ask anyone I'm sure they won't tell you that I've been complaining about these to them. I haven't even been talking much to anyone. Not about how I really feel anyway.

Bestie is never around.
Dida is too judgemental.
And Encem.. well, Encem being Encem.. I don't even want to start on that.

I'm sad.. I have no one to turn to.
So yeah, that's what's been going on. Just me, having conversations with myself every single night.. all the time.
It's only been five days of the new year and already I'm telling you some sappy stories!

So now I focus on my nails.. What colours I want them to be..

Wa-heyy!

Kota Kinabalu's Rock Shop is now open and it's only 15 minutes walk from our dingy new hotel! (15 minutes because crossing the freeway was imperative -- the word "safe" does not come to mind when thinking about this new hotel.)

And earlier, a Korean fella stared at me while my colleagues and I were smoking outside the lobby. He was standing right next to me but he was staring that I had to give him a questioning look and said, "Yes?" (My colleagues laughed at this.)

The fella just shook his head a few times, lit his cigarette and stared a little bit more.

So yeah, I don't do well with people invading my personal space. That dude would've gotten much much more than a single word from me had my colleagues did not distract me as they laughed.

Anyway, the new Rock Shop isn't on the Rewards Program yet but that did not stop me from getting a new pin for my collection! I figured I could always come back again anyways. Plus, I HAVE to go back to get Dida's t-shirt for her collection. "Medium" was out of stock, and buying large seemed a bit too much considering Dida had lost so much weight over the past few months!

Nothing else is new in life..

It's 2013 and I feel exactly the same.

I just hope that things will be better.. before I lose myself completely.

Of a troubled mind.

Despite coming home well after midnight for the past couple of days.. I've been having trouble sleeping.
I suppose I could blame tiredness. My entire body has been aching for days.
But I won't deny that there's been a bunch of things on my mind lately.

On a lighter side.. I've been thinking of getting a new phone.
I don't really need it. I'd just like to have it.
Nothing really heavy about that. Sounds kinda dumb even.

I've been feeling really detached. I don't know. Lack of conversations that is worth my while. Couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
I can honestly say that I've been faking smiles this past whole week.
I don't feel like smiling at all. Nor do I feel like making any contact with anyone. Just so happens that I work in a line where I am actually paid to make contact and connections.
Life is kinda sucky at times like these.

Perhaps I'll end up a hermit after all.
I really wish happiness isn't so temporary. But it just feels that way these days.

Oh well, ignore me. It's half past five and I'm obviously sleep-deprived.

Of Birthdays & Books

I'd say Mumu and I are lucky for being born in the same month that we get to have a potluck get together to celebrate our birthday! ..and we all got the same off day on a weekend! Such a rare thing..

Mumu prepared a load of fried finger foods and drinks, Mami brought spaghetti, I brought Tony Roma's ribs (too lazy to prepare my lasagna) and Bestie brought Secret Recipe's brownie.. because his mom's oven broke! sigh..

Oh and I love the presents Mami and Bestie got me!
Thank you thank you thank youuuu!

Then earlier today I finally got myself to the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale. The place was HUUGE but I couldn't find much really. Or at least I couldn't find the books that I was thinking of getting..

"Couldn't find much" translates as ten books.. HAHHAHAHHA!
Cookbooks goes for around 20-30 Ringgit.. Novels are mostly RM8.
I suppose it's better to go with an open mind.. Not really looking for anything specific because trying to search for it would be a nightmare! So today's total damage was about RM100.. and I completely forgot to use the RM10 off voucher that I got just before entering the hall!

I mean, what was that?? Feels like my mind is deteriorating..
But Encem just coolly said, "then maybe we'll go there again.."
hmmm.. Maybe. If payday comes early. I really hope that it does because I'm grasping for air again..

Gahh!! I hate how this is a constant trouble of mine at the end of every month.
It's like I'm twenty-eight and I never learn..
HAHAHHAHA!

Oh!

Yesterday was my birthday?
Pffft..

That is to say that I had the worst birthday yet.
I don't know.. Something about birthdays that simply get to me.
Messes with me to the core.
Funny how I feel fine today.

I say fine, not great. Just fine. Nothing to shout about.
Nothing else to say. Feels like yesterday somehow marred my whole being. A nagging feeling that I won't ever feel great.

Oh well, maybe I'm wrong.
I'd love to be wrong.

Zzzz

I basically slept the whole day of yesterday. Or at least it feels like it.
Got home from work at half past one, fell asleep after five, woke up around noon, fell asleep again after dusk, woken up around ten, fell right back to sleep, and now I just had my shower.. After midnight.
Gahhh!
I totally wasted the my day off yesterday. I know I wouldn't want to go out when it was a Selangor public holiday but I should've at least de-clutter my room! It's annoying to get a day off on a public holiday.
And now I feel like I should take a little more nap before I need to get ready for work.

Days had been uneventful.
Dida asked me what I want for my birthday. Totally cheating, but I finally figured out that I wanted a favour for my birthday. It's starting to feel a bit complicated, so I think I'm going to just cancel that.

Yeaaah.. so my birthday is coming up. For what ever reason I feel like crying when I think about it.
Perhaps I should try getting that nap now. I don't feel like talking it out while I try to figure out why I feel like crying.