That dull ache..

Maybe not so dull, but it's there.

A constant reminder of the hurt, of how the emptiness hurts.

I am not even pining. Even if I am, I long for the pain to stop. I want the ache to stop.

I don't cry myself to sleep at night. But the tears came each night anyway. I don't feel weak, the tears somehow eases the pain ever so slightly. As if with each drop of tear, that heaviness in my heart is lifted.. a little, for a little while.

I've never been good with being patient. I am not good at waiting. And to have spent my time waiting on "nothing" is not at all helping.

My heart keeps aching and I'm tired of explaining why it hurts so much.

I just want the pain to stop.

Please stop.

NARSissist? Totally.

In case you had seen my recent Instagram photo;

Yes, @NARSissist had actually sent me two of their new nail polishes right to my doorstep! Eeeep!

It started earlier this month when I tweeted how my browser immediately suggested Narscosmetics.com as I typed the letter "N".

The next thing I know, @NARSissist followed me on twitter and sent me a DM,

WAAAY too cool! Assuming that they wouldn't ship to Malaysia, (their US website only ship to US and Canada)

 I gave them my HopShopGo address while asking them about the international shipping.

Almost immediately they replied that they do and asked if I had a different "ideal" address -- my heart just leaped at that!

After just one week (could've been sooner than a week if FedEx had been more efficient!) my goodies were finally in my hands!

Now, I've said how much I liked the formulation of the NARS nail polish despite the brush here. The GREAT thing about their new nail polishes, it comes with a wider brush!! Perfect!

So yeah, imagine my excitement when one of the nail polishes they sent me were one of the new collection!

They sent me Obscura (a shade that I contemplated on getting two weeks ago!) which is described as "lavender charcoal" and Libertango which is a "geranium" shade. Two seriously lovely colours, if you ask me!

I haven't actually tried them on since I'm on a work-week stretch and I'm not actually sure if shades of grey are allowed on while anything close to being red is a no-no.

But you'll see.. Once I get home from my Adelaide trip, those two will be the first things I play with! rawrr!

Is it fitting to note here that I currently have Schiap on my nails? Heehee..

Pretty sure I'll be writing about my recent NARS play-things in the coming blogs!

Anyway, I think it's really awesome how NARS reach out to their fans worldwide by doing this! If you'd been reading this blog for a while, you'd know how big of a fan I am and having them sent me "gifts".. Just WOW. It's like.. I am nobody to them really.. I'm not exactly a beauty blogger who has that many followers/readers that could be persuaded into loving NARS as much as I do. I am used to unrequited love, (because really, loving "things" is just that, isn't it?) but having @NARSissist to acknowledge me this way...

Ah, I am just even more head over heels with NARS now! (Didn't think that was possible..)

Waves.

Just three weeks after Encem came home from Algeria, he left for Jeddah on another charter program..

Naturally, being the pathetic girlfriend that I am, I've been teary everytime I am left all alone.

I can't help it. It comes and goes in waves. It's only been one day and my insides just aches. He left me with a lump in my throat and a hole in my chest.

Seriously, how did I get this whiny and clingy?

Maybe because he'd only been back three weeks and I've been away on trips.. I find myself feeling blessed for getting sick when I did because I was supposed to be in Male yesterday but was given a medical leave so I was able to step down from my flight.

At least I was able to send him off at the airport.

It has only been one day and I am miserable. And thinking how long this time he'll be away is making me all teary again!

I am in pain and there is no other way of saying it..

Yes, I've been MIA..

Only in the blogsphere world.

I am pretty present on Instagram and everywhere else. Is it bad that I've been hiding my thoughts even more so these days?

There isn't much to tell. Work has been "work".. It got harder to put on the uniform lately. Tired.. Sick of being sick.. My mood overall is just sucky.

The one good thing about the month of August is that I get to have Encem around. Fight with him face to face then actually kiss and made up.

But now only after a few weeks coming back from Algeria, he's getting ready to leave for Jeddah and this time he's leaving for longer.

So I am getting sad all over again. I hated the way it felt when he's gone and now I need to brace myself for an even worse feeling.

I am SO used to having him around..

Even when we fight, I still get to see him.. We still "talk" even if I just answered him with huffs and grunts..

So yeah, I hate not having him around.

Recently we took a tiny break from the city and head back to his hometown. It was a good trip. Ended with a little fight (typical!) but it was a good trip nonetheless.

Reminded me how badly I needed to be away from work!

To age is a privilege..

I never really appreciated those words until this year..

After the disappearance of flight MH370 and the downing of MH17, I don't think things will ever be the same. Not for me anyway.

There isn't much to say, since there isn't much facts. All there is for the time being are speculations, theories, assumptions..

I am torn between wanting to see a glimpse of the flowered pattern of our uniform and the fear of seeing the state that it is in when found.

USA Today posted a picture of a crew's handbag on their website yesterday and my heart broke again.

I want each one of them found and returned to the ones who loved them. They all deserve that. Everybody deserves that.

But seeing shots of a crew's passport.. A medical book.. A handbag.. Is just not enough. I want THEM found! As of the moment I am typing this out, only 186 bodies have been recovered within the 15km diameter of the crash site.

Where are the other hundred? Where are they? Where are my colleagues? Enough with the missing people!

Yesterday on my flight from Manila; my first flight after the incident, a passenger said he was sorry for our lost. Caught off guard, I just said thanks without much thought.

Not long after that another passenger asked if we were okay. I just told him that we were okay thus far..

It was easy to forget about your sad thoughts when you keep yourself busy, and that flight was pretty busy. The odd bunch of Indian passengers had kept me busy until about an hour before we arrive into Kuala Lumpur as they were finally contented.

I was in a pretty good mood. I was flying with a friend. I felt contented and happy to realize that I was still capable of smiling sincerely.. and I looked out through the windows to see the beautiful orange-tinted clouds as the sun began to set..

Then my eyes started to well up.

My obsession with the sky..

How would I feel if that ends up to be the very last thing that I see?

When God calls, you answer. There is no other way about it.

But I pray that I will have more time on Earth. Have the time to write something that matters to society. See the blue rooftops of the houses in Santorini. Love wholeheartedly. Age gracefully. Be the person that I want to be.

Just don't let me be lost forever, please.

June Favourites!

Thought I might write about things I've been loving this past month since I have nothing much interesting to share, otherwise.

Remember how in my NARS blog post I mentioned that I was afraid of using the shade Mistinguette from my Guy Bourdain blush palette? Well, I've finally tried it out and it is actually LOVELY! Despite being shockingly Barbie-pink in the pan, on the skin it gives off a really nice subtle flush. Quite amazing, actually. It's all I've been wearing in June!

NARS' Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturizer has pretty much replaced all of my foundations last month. I think it is time for me to really sort out my make up collection because I can really tell which items I can't part with and items that I haven't touched for the past six months!

NARS' Radiant Creamy Concealer is a staple.. I've already bought a back up for it yet I am still scraping off what ever's left in the tube.

Benefit's Bad Gal Plum mascara.. Now that the formula has gotten a little dry, I find that I like it better than I used to. Mind, the plum colour which is supposed to make my eye colour "pop" is pretty much useless but just as a mascara, it's alright!

Now on to skincare, I was given a sample of Origins High-Potency Night-A-Mins moisturizer sometime in the middle of last month and I've been saving it up until payday when I could actually get my hands on the regular pot! I really love how it feels on my skin, and the smell is just divine!

I've been really loving it.

For day moisturizer, I've been using the Origins GinZing Energy-boosting moisturizer. Pretty much served its purpose, I have no complaints. I got a bunch of samples of this so I'm good in terms of daily moisturizing until next month, at least. Can't really say it's a favourite if it's just what I am currently using, can I? But I do like it!

Recently I've discovered that I actually have dry skin, so I've been using the Josie Maran 100% Pure Argan Oil under my evening moisturizer. It's a bit too heavy for daytime (with wearing make-up and all) but for nighttime, it's just great. I really love slapping on the heavy-duty stuff in the evening. The awesome thing about this oil, you can use it on anything that you can think of! For instance, my skin is so dry that lotions don't really do anything for my skin (body butters are the way to go) but since I've been trying to use up Soap & Glory's The Righteous Butter Body Lotion before getting my usual moisturizer, I've been adding a few drops of the Argan oil to the lotion and it helped a LOT!

Now can I go for something random and tell you about the chocolate that I've been LOVING?

It is the Prafeuille Chocolate from Royce, that you can't even get in KL!! *curses* I was introduced by this on board, we used to have it in the business class sometime last year so when we stopped offering them, I had to start looking around for them myself.

Now, I am no chocolate-fiend. If you tell me that I cannot have anymore chocolate for the rest of my life, I won't shed a tear. But this.. THIS chocolate.. I ADORE. It's a thin, leaf-like chocolate with a berry sauce centre.. Absolutely divine! Think After Eight, but thinner and with sweeter centre.

Anyway, after months and months of searching, (Royce Malaysia no longer carries this chocolate) I finally found them in Hong Kong! -- I was in Osaka a few months ago, even they didn't have the Berry flavour! All they had was the Green Tea, and I DON'T ENJOY GREEN TEA! -- I know, the perks of travelling for a job, right? Anyway, SO glad to have this back in my life..

Is it a surprise that I don't LOVE chocolate? I do have a few favourites that I might actually even blog about them one day! hahahha, would that be a bit weird?
Oh well, I am a little bit weird so that blog entry might actually happen.

That's it for last month's favourite.
I'm in a such weird mood right now, I am thankful for having this superficial-stuff to write about instead of the going-ons in my head!

Mentale va

I feel like I am changing.

Not sure if I really am but things do feel different.

Boyfriend's posted in Algeria for a charter program and here I am left all to myself with all kinds of thoughts. If I am honest, I am feeling pretty lonely. And there's nothing more thought-provoking than this kind of loneliness.

It's only been two weeks and I am a mess.

Can I scream into the dark night?

I feel stuck in a whole lot of nothingness.

That doesn't sound right, does it?

I don't need a man to survive, but what will become of me surviving without my man?

Can I hate him for leaving?

Yes, he is coming back in a few weeks but in what state will I be by then?

Why did he have to be such a damn good friend in the first place? I feel like I am missing my boyfriend and bestfriend at the same time!

Okay, I am starting to get a headache from trying to hold in the tears. Yes, I am pathetic that way.

Somehow I prefer writing entries where I am just plainly pissed with him than this sappy "tu me manques" blog post.

Je te déteste, mon singe!

Nuts About NARS

As the title suggested, I am pretty much all over NARS. I honestly don't know how it started considering the brand had only come to our shores late last year!

But really, anywhere I go (overseas) I would try to have a look at their store or stand, and when ever I go to Pavilion I would just find myself walking past the store -- not necessarily going in for fear of being tempted to actually make a purchase!

Anyway, I LOVE the brand; so much so that when/if I get married, you'll surely see them on one of the exchanged gift trays (hantaran!)

Let's start with the face stuff; I've talked about the Sheer Glow Foundation (here) so I won't ramble much about it except that I am still loving it! Awesome coverage for something that felt so light on the skin.

The Radiant Creamy Concealer is pretty much my Holy Grail concealer. Perhaps it's the shade, but while other concealers I've tried makes my skin seemed ashy and just vanishes after a few hours, this concealer stays put beautifully. Sometimes it gets into the fine lines under my eyes but since it's only "sometimes", suppose it's the way I applied it that day or the eye cream that I was using.. It's sad to say that I am running out of the concealer but I will be repurchasing it soon, I'm sure!

My recent purchase was made at the NARS stand in Hankyu, Taipei. It wasn't cheaper than in KL but I've been eyeing on it for too long now so I decided to just get it! After two weeks of using it pretty much exclusively, I've gotta say that the Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturizer is becoming a top favourite -- definitely this month's favourite! It gives a sheer coverage with a dewy finish. Well, it is sheer but it evened out my skintone just fine. It is supposed to clear dark spots and lighten hyperpigmentation with regular use, we'll see about that but even if it does nothing for me, I still love how comfortable it feels after having it on for long hours. Oh, it also have an SPF of 30!

My first NARS palette was their One Night Stand blush palette from their Guy Bourdin Holiday Collection last year. I've talked a bit about it here and all I have to say now is that since then I am still loving Deep Throat and Goulue, while I pretty much use Laguna to slightly contour and bronze up my face everytime I am doing my make-up! (All bottom shades.) The highlighter shade is called Devotee (I just don't generally highlight my face), the pink shade is called Mistinguette (too scary pink on the pan for my taste -- which means that I should probably actually use it and see how I really feel about it) and the top right shade is their ever so famous Orgasm. A cult favourite but not mine. Let's just say that if I actually put this on, it'd be really crazy to add highlighter on. Perhaps if I am more into highlights, I would have loved this more.

Another recent purchase from their stand in SOGO, also in Taipei is the Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir? eye & cheek palette. I hadn't done a single research on this but I saw it and just got to have it! (Splurge, yes..) Apparently it was a Nordstrom exclusive for their anniversary sale sometime last year. Well, I knew that I was going to get their eyeshadows at some point so seeing this palette just made my day! The eyeshadows included are Molokaï, Antananarivo, Lhasa and Ragoun. The blush shade on the left is Deep Throat (I don't mind having two of this, really) and the one on the right is Dolce Vita, which is a beautiful dusty rose shade.

I honestly love all the colours on this palette as it creates a complete look! Definitely worth the splurge.

Now these Larger Than Life Long-Wear Eyeliner is a bit funny. I have two of these and they're both of two different consistencies. The chocolate shade, Via De' Martelli is a bit hard while Rue Bonaparte (described as light almond on the website) is very soft and perfect for the waterline. I love that these liners are twist-ups and has a "sharpener" attached to the bottom. Very convenient.

I'd love to get the black shade, Via Veneto but I've got a whole lot of black liners in my stash already.. Maybe someday. heh

As for the lip products, I have three. I love how the Satin Lip Pencil feels on my lips, and the shade Luxembourg is just ME, I think. Not loving the fact that these pencils needs to be sharpened every so often but I really am willing to go through the hassle because it's really beautiful on. The fuchsia Semi Matte Lipstick named Funny Face was one that I went to the store a few times for. It was sold out everytime I asked for it in KL so yeah, by the time I was in Bangkok it's all I could think about!

The third lipstick that I own is the limited edition Cinematic Lipstick in the colour Future Red from the Guy Bourdin holiday collection. Funny Face isn't as moisturising as Future Red, being a semi matte finish but all of these products mentioned stayed so well on my lips.

Another limited edition item from last year's collection is the Opaque Nail Polish in the shade Follow Me. I have to say that I am glad that I got it when I did because I just love the shade! I have an entire post just about this nail polish so, that's that!

SAMPLES! hahahha! Seriously, even the samples looks awesome. I'll probably give the tinted moisturizers to Dida and Mama since they're in the shades Terre-Neuve and Finland; way too light for my skintone and I do have the full size now!

Oh I am finally done with this entry!

#BeautyBlog 9

Say hello to bronzers!

Before mid of last year, I had never knew the existence of bronzers -- believe it or not! And honestly, I don't see why I would need them.. boy was I wrong.

I am nowhere good at contouring but I like to try. And since I've used bronzers in my routine, I could definitely see the difference that it makes. It really made my face more alive after putting on foundation. It gave me a little warmth to my otherwise flat complexion.

So I received a sample of the Hoola bronzer with my purchase from Benefit and I finally tried it on a while back. Three bronzers to compare to seems like a decent number to actually write about them.

In this post I will be comparing Hoola, Laguna by NARS and the bronzer from Sleek's Face Form in Light.

I'm not sure if you could see from the photo below the difference in the shades;

The most right is Laguna, middle is Hoola and the bottom most is by Sleek.

Hoola is a true brown, which I think would suit most skin tone -- but not mine. Somehow the brown looks muddy on my face and a tad unnatural.
Adding up to one more product from Benefit Cosmetics that just didn't suit me. sigh

Perhaps it is the warmer tone of my skin that made products that has a bit more orange or cream in them looks more natural on me, such as Laguna, Face Form in Light and even e.l.f.'s Contouring Blush & Bronzing Powder that I just realized I own (but obviously haven't been using in a while!)

Anyway, suppose I'm good in the bronzing department.
No excuse to get a new one anytime soon!

Sorry I've been... M. I. A.

Suppose things have changed. Suppose you could say that my entries recently have been incredibly superficial borderling on bimbo-status.

Suppose some people talk out their problems and worries..

Suppose you would know by now that I am not among those people.

I bottle things up until KABOOM! I go. Not at all a healthy way of living but I don't wear my heart on my sleeves.. Poor Encem just having to deal with it. However, I am oddly amused of how eloquent I am during those nuclear times!

MH370 is still nowhere to be found, and every single time I go for flight I am reminded of it as I took my #selfieuntukDida on Instagram. I wouldn't normally indulge myself in "selfie" but it was a request by my dear sister, so I obeyed.

Being gone is not half as bad as being the one left behind, I am sure. So as morbid as it may sound, I took those selfies so my loved ones would know how I look like on my last day on Earth.

Sad, yes. But I found out about the missing flight from the frantic phonecalls from my mum and Dida, and what are family for if not to worry for/with you.

It could happen to any of us.. Gone without a trace, and your loved ones may wonder all sort of things, so if anything bad shall happen to me in the future, I shall not deny my sister's request for a measly vain moment in the form of a selfie before I head to work.

Honestly I don't know where I've gone to. Seems as though I've lost all my will to write. I am finding myself annoyed by my beauty-blogs because that is ALL I ever write about these days!

Feels as though I have no original thoughts what so ever. Feels like "Wanie" has gone away to hide in a dark corner where no one would have to acknowledge her existence. Has anyone else ever felt like that?

I'm pretty sure I'm unhappy with life right now. With the job feeling like a job! I used to feel so proud to say that going to work felt like going to the playground. But friends are leaving to greener pasteur or just run away from all the crap we've been getting from the company. Work feels like crap these days. And the saddest part, work is all I ever do!

Even my off days are spent at home doing nothing but rest because work has been all too consuming. Also, I've been sick for the past week which was just swell!

And my phone line has been barred for almost a month now because Celcom decided to be a bitch and charged me way more than they're supposed to and is taking way too long to get the case settled. I might change my carrier after 11 years with Celcom, ladies and gentlemen! "Loyalty" goes out the window when all you've been getting back is shit.

Anyway, sorry for not having a cheerful entry after so long of being silent. Let's hope that I'll have something happy to share about sometime soon.

Oh.. Well..

It's been a while.. and I'm not exactly in the state where I could comfortably write, but here's a teaser of what I'll be writing in the coming weeks!

#BeautyBlog 9 #BeautyBlog 8

An ode to love..

It's been more than seven days and I totally skipped #8 because I had that written a while back but it's still unfinished so I'll publish that once I'm done with my thoughts.

Today I'm going to yap about Revlon's lip products -- which I adore; the Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain, Colorburst Matte Balm and Colorburst Lacquer Balm.. because I just can't shake my love for them!

I have a total of seven of these crayon sticks from Revlon, (three by Bourjois, one by NARS and Tarte, and six by Clinique -- I'm obsessed!) because I think these crayon-like lip products are the easiest to put on!

If they are sheer like the Clinique's Chubby Stick or Tarte's LipSurgence Skintuitive Lip Tint or Bourjois' Color Boost Glossy Finish Lipstick, you don't even need a mirror to apply them!

Anyway, today I'll (try to) focus on Revlon.

I have three of the Balm Stains in Lovesick, Smitten (not available in Malaysia, unfortunately) and Romantic.

Lovesick is a bright fuschia while Smitten is a bit plum-toned. Romantic is an orange-toned red.

These are very easy to wear and quite sheer on first application but buildable. The finish is quite glossy and being true to the name, they do stain. I get most use out of Lovesick and Smitten since they suit me the most and while at work I don't need to reapply much. (Except if I want some gloss back on my lips.)

The one Lacquer Balm that I own is in the shade Flirtatious. This has no claim of staining the lips but it does leave a tint after hours of wear, and on application it is more pigmented than the Balm Stains. This shade that I have is a fuschia that leans more into red, not too far off from Lovesick and Smitten, and it too has a glossy finish. Oh, and it has shimmer in it which can be a bit distracting. I mean, you don't really notice the shimmer until the colour wears off -- which isn't really a pretty look.

My current faves at the moment are the Matte Balm which is very smooth and comfortable to wear! Complex is a nude shade that I have a love-hate relationship with, depending on the day. Standout is a cool-toned red that should look good on anyone and my latest addition is Unapologetic which is a bright coral pink that I haven't actually worn outside yet! Hahahahha! It is THAT new!

Though these products have different finishes, they all have that minty feel and scent to it which some would love while some will hate. I think Revlon did a brilliant job coming out with these crayon lip products! Though they may not be very original in that department, it makes these types of products very affordable to the masses. (Clinique's Chubby Stick/Chubby Stick Intense retails at RM60 while Tarte's LipSurgence and NARS' Lip Pencils retails at RM90!)

So yeah, I am all for Revlon's crayon lip products!

#BeautyBlog 7

I caved..

Though I didn't need yet another lipstick, I went ahead and got one because I was getting tired of wondering about it!

It started a few weeks ago at the reporting centre. A colleague (whom I had just met for the first time) was sitting across from where I was sitting and we were just chatting about where we were heading and all the while I couldn't get my eyes off of her lips! I couldn't contain myself and asked what it was and made a note of it. (An actual note on my phone, even!)

Then last week I bumped into another colleague and as we were saying our hellos, I asked if she was wearing the lipstick that I had made a note of and she said yes.

To have singled out the same product twice pretty much convinced me that I should have a go at it myself! So a few nights ago I headed into one of the stores and had the store assistant put it on me.

The lipstick that's been floating around in my head (and now sits on the dressing table!) is Shu Uemura's Rouge Unlimited Supreme Matte lipstick in 376.

Apart from red shades, I'm pretty sure that I have a thing for fuchsia and magentas! (Which in reality is also considered as shades of red!.. but you know what I mean.)

There really is something about those pink-not-quite-pink-nor-red shades that I love. I do feel that they look good on me, and long gone the days where I'm afraid of having a bright lip for my makeup!

Definitely not a colour for the faint hearted.

Anyway, I'm obsessed! Haven't worn any other lipstick since I got it! And the formula is awesome too. It's matte (so it stains) and pretty moisturising and comfortable to wear.

I really should stop buying lip products after getting this (and Tarte's Skintuitive Lip Tint too last week!) but I have my eyes on Revlon's Matte Balm in Unapologetic. Should I be getting that next? Eeeeeep!

Divergence.

Saw the Divergent film and hated it.

HATED IT! Hated it, hated it, HATED IT!!

I hated it even more after reading a random "fangirl" blog post how the film followed true to the book -- LIESS!! I couldn't even read half of her "review" because she made me question if we had been reading the same book!

She clearly read something else and not at all the one written by Veronica Roth.

Which ticks me again. What the heck was Roth thinking, letting the film turned out the way that it did?? It was a whole lot different than the book she wrote! Seriously, I almost called out "WTF!" halfway through the movie. I totally didn't blame Encem for falling asleep in the cinema. I was almost embarassed for wanting to see the film as badly as I did.

Really, I was disappointed. Can you tell?

Perhaps it was my fault thinking that the adaptation would be like how The Hunger Games turned out -- ACTUALLY true to the book and very minimal changes to the characters. (Katniss didn't exactly got her Mockingjay pin from The Hob, but that's nothing major.)

The movie Divergent really diverted from the book. I really didn't feel the connection between any of the characters. Christina was supposed to be taller and tougher than Tris. We didn't even see Al actually 'failing' his tests or Peter being any good except for being just a jackass. Molly didn't think Tris was "cool" in any part of the book and Four definitely did NOT teach Tris how to go through her final test! COME ONN!!

Sorry if I'd spoiled your viewing experience from reading this, but THE BOOK IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!

Go see the movie if you must. I would recommend not to. It's just better to pick up the book instead! Even the Twilight saga had a better adaptation into the movie, seriously.

I am just NOT looking forward to see Insurgent if/when it comes out. Sure, I won't deny that I'll probably go see it anyway but as for Divergent.. It's a complete disappointment for me.

The fangirl in me.. was crushed.

#BeautyBlog 6

Possible future-purchases.

The two things that I adore Sephora the most about is the fact that how friendly and helpful the store assistants are, and how readily they are to give you samples!

(Maybe not the one in Starhill though. They're too stingy when I asked for samples and the store assistants always come off as snobbish!)

KLCC, I love because one time I was just browsing around and one of the girls approached me and asked if I was looking for something. I said no, and that I was just looking if anything pique my interest. She then told me to follow her so she'd show me all the new things in the store!

Pyramid, I love because the assistants were chatty and pretty much able to answer most of my questions about the products I was intrigued about. Also, I got those two little sample pots pictured above from there, which I will go into more in a bit.

Paradigm is my jam, basically! That place has never done me wrong and I don't think it ever could. This one particular guy especially always gets me the best samples available! teehee!

Now, on to something relevant to the picture I attached to this entry.

I've always been keen to try out the Glamglow masks and if you've seen them in stores, you should know that they're RM 240 a pop! That is one damn pricey mask, if you ask me!

Not wanting to make the same mistake as I did with the bloody Kiehl's eye cream, these days I always get samples first for a product (especially skincare!) before forking out my money for the full-size.

Now, even in US Dollars, these masks are pretty pricey at $69 so getting them online plus shipping would turn out to be just about the same as RM 240 I'm sure.

Not knowing even the difference between the two, I asked one of the SAs if I could have small samples of the two products and she adorably put them into their respective packaging colours! (If you haven't tried asking for samples in Sephora, YOU SHOULD!)

I'm glad that I got the samples first, because though both of them felt nice on my skin and worked pretty much the same (both extracted the icky oils from my T-zone and made my skin feel silky smooth), I wasn't too keen of the smell of the Clearing Treatment plus it broke me out the very next day! I haven't had a new breakout in WEEKS so that was annoying! The Exfoliating Mud Mask has chunks in it which looks kinda weird but it's supposed to help you exfoliate the skin whilst removing the mask, and it did!

I don't know.. RM 240 is a LOT man! Should I bite the bullet and get the black Glamglow? I love that I could see all the things it pulled out from my skin.. Is there anything else better out there?

Anyway, we'll see in the coming months. I've already done some bits of damage shopping online when I couldn't sleep few nights ago!

#BeautyBlog 5

Now I feel like I haven't blogged for a long time, but it hasn't been that long really..

Since I haven't been to Sephora for so long, unfortunately I haven't had the chance to try out as many things to blog about. But fear not, I did stop by the ones in Paradigm, Pyramid AND KLCC in the last week so I do have some things to share!

But first, since I mention about them earlier last month, I shall let you know what I think about the new foundations in my collection;

Face And Body by MAC. (N3)

I'll be honest, this was my first MAC purchase because one, I have a little obsession with foundations after lip products.. Two, Pixiwoo of Youtube seemed to really like the product so I was pretty much sucked in!

Personally, I feel like I need to have ample time to properly put this foundation on. Apparently, the more you work on the foundation; the more you buff it into the skin, the thicker it becomes and the higher coverage it gives you. Also, this foundation is best applied with your fingers, which in theory should be perfect for those mornings where you overslept and only have a few minutes to get ready!

But I love my brushes.. Putting on foundation with my fingers feels a bit messy to me. And you do have to set the foundation with some powder because it doesn't really set -- or maybe I'm just too impatient to wait until it does.

Overall it's not a bad foundation really. Somedays when I do have the time, it gives a pretty good coverage that I could skip concealer! The awesome thing about this foundation, you could keep slapping it on layer after layer to get the coverage that you want and it wouldn't look cakey on!

Sheer Glow by NARS. (Stromboli)

Perhaps the best ever foundation I've used in my entire life. Yes, I am biased by the way. Though being advertised to give you a dewy finish (hence the name sheer "glow") it doesn't actually give me that effect. I have combo skin, slightly oily T-zone with some odd dry patches sometimes, and it simply gives me a semi-matte finish.

A little goes a long way, feels pretty light on the skin but it gives you a good medium coverage.

The annoying bit about this foundation, for something as pricey, the packaging does not come with a pump so you have to buy it separately! And it's not great to travel with since once you've attached the pump, you can no longer put the cap back on!

The product itself is awesome, but it has one of the oddest packaging I think.

But I would definitely repurchase if mine runs out. (I do love it!) But maybe in a shade lighter since I find Stromboli looks a bit yellow on me some days.

Amazonian Clay Full Coverage Airbrush by Tarte. (Light-Medium Neutral)

This is a new one I got because of Youtubers Essiebutton and Missglamorazzi! Seriously, these Youtube videos..

Anyway, I've been keen on trying out powder or mineral foundations lately so I feel like this seemed like a good middle-ground? Haha! It says to have some mineral particles in it so.. yeah.

I've been testing it out this entire week and surprisingly it gives me just as much coverage as any liquid foundations that I own! It didn't dry out on me at all or make me extra shiny by the end of the day. It performed pretty much like any liquid foundation, really!

Odd thing about this though, it kinda settled into my smile-lines.. sometimes. I am guessing that it was because I might not have blended it well enough into my skin. It was recommended to apply the foundation with the specially designed Airbuki brush but I was adamant not to get the brush with the foundation (because that'll mean I would have to spend an extra RM130!! Yikes!) but.. I don't know.. I might get the brush since I do love the feel of the foundation on my skin.

If I had to choose between the three foundation I featured in this entry, I must say that the Sheer Glow Foundation wins the top spot. Not just because it is a NARS product, but I love that even when I am lazy to get my makeup done, I know that this foundation will get it just right. I don't have to be careful or buff like hell to get the job done.

But that's just me.

Now on to some Sephora stuff.. I must admit that I am pretty addicted to that store. So much so that in one of my visits, I told the cashier that I have a 10% off for my purchase which led her to check on her screen;

Cashier: Wow.. You have six 10% off..

W: Yeah.. I have a problem.

Which is true -- I do have a serious shopping problem if I manage to have SIX 10% off!

Anyway, what truly led me to purchase Tarte's powder foundation when I did (it was on my wishlist.. Something 'in the future..' but, well.. I was weak!) was because I bought the mini Amazonian Clay Blush in Exposed for RM30. (The regular size is RM120!) I obviously don't need any more blushers but I wanted to try out Tarte's real badly since that's what they're known best for -- and I was not disappointed!

Even though it didn't look like much, Exposed is a beautiful neutral pink that would look good on any skin tone! (Mumu tried it in the store before she got one herself and it looked good on her tanned skin!)

I would LOVE to get more of them if the minis were available and I highly highly recommend the blushers if not anything else. It lasts so well on the skin!

Enough bimbo-talk.. I should discuss on how to save money and not how to spend them! Hahahhaha

Four.

Can't remember the last time I blogged about a book. It's been a while.

I haven't really had the chance to read an actual book in a long time anyway. The last one I read -- before the one I'll tell you about -- was The Mortal Instruments, I think. And reading five of them in the course of a week pretty much put me in a daze. Just too much information, I think!

It was good, but it's nothing extraordinary. It killed my time, but it didn't leave me wondering about it.

So recently I picked up the Divergent series by Veronica Roth. I looked up on her and turns out she is a few years younger than I am! This is like the whole Cecilia Ahern thing all over again! Gahh! Successful young writers always gets me feeling envious. Of course, I never actually sit down and decide to be a serious novelist, but the idea of making writing as a career.. That is the dream.

Yeah, I've said it. I do dream of being a writer. Encem thinks I could do it. But I am rightfully doubtful. Just look at my blog! I can barely focus on one singular thing, how can I possibly write a whole novel?

Anyway, back to Divergent. Some people say that it is similar to The Hunger Games. I wouldn't say that it is, but they are in the same sort of genre. The protagonists were both strong, young women. They are both kinda sad, with bittersweet ending.

The final instalment of the Divergent series were a bit troubling. I dunno.. I finished the book around 6 am in the morning (I can barely put the book down, it was GOOD!) and I couldn't get to sleep because it left me with a heart ache. I also spent the rest of the day and the day after that being lost in thoughts and basically just lacking in the presence of mind -- not great when your job demands focus and your ability to save lives should there be a need.

It really ruined me.

I was kinda sad and pissed by the ending but after reading Roth's blog and thoughts for coming up with the ending.. It just made sense. Sure, it made sense while I was reading the book, but reading her thoughts pretty much clicked something else in my mind.

The odd thing about Divergent and The Hunger Games.. I feel like the first book was the happiest of the series. Hahahhaha! Well, I find that funny since neither of the two series are "happy" but compared to their respective instalments, they seemed a bit more happier.

I still catch myself thinking about Tris and Tobias and the whole stuff about Divergent these days, but it's useless really. It's not like there's anything I can do about it.

Good thing that I've just picked up the books last week too since the movie is coming out later this month!

I am looking forward to it, but I must say that I'm not crazy about it -- knowing how it ends. Just like Mockingjay. I do look forward to it (probably because of Jennifer Lawrence mostly; that girl is the shiz!) but I am going to hate what's going to happen so.. yeah..

If you're thinking of getting something to read, do consider the Divergent series. They were very well written and it just left you wanting more -- hence finishing up the book way past bedtime!

Just life, I guess..

On standby with Encem for two days.

I was called up to a single night in Manila and he was not.

This is really a small matter but I just can't shake off the sadness.

I am sad, I truly am.

I actually numbered the days in my journal for when I hadn't seen my boyfriend; it had been nine. And now the count starts again..

I went to work with hardly any sleep at all yesterday. Even then I still pushed on so I could spend the rest of the day with Encem.

Seriously, I don't cope well (with life) without my dose of my monkey. And twenty-two hours is not enough to make up for the nine days of aloneness..

I am just sad..

Sorry for this seemingly pointless rant. It's just that I am on my way to the airport and already I am missing my boyfriend. Makes it sound kinda pathetic if I think about it, but I do feel kinda pathetic.

Going insane.

Feeling extremely demotivated right now.
Been working too hard with not enough play time.
I am still sick. Encem is away. I'm starting to feel that he is truly my best friend and it seems that I don't cope well without my best friend. I cried while I was on the phone with him. The more he told me not to cry, the more I cried.
I just don't feel like myself.
I feel like quitting my job because it's really starting to feel like a job.
It's taking over my life.
I don't go out. Not for fun anyway. Not even during my nightstops or layover.
I'm too sick to go out.
I think I am losing weight. I barely eat. I have no desire to eat.
I am having my period. Some people eat more when they're having their period. I eat less. And even less since I am sick.
I am freakin' tired, but I can't sleep. I don't sleep well at night. I've been having odd dreams and I've always been a light sleeper.
My hair is crunchy and disgusting. I tried to remember when was the last time I had them washed and I can't remember. Probably three days ago which is just icky. But I don't have the time to wash my hair! I always come home just before midnight and I hate getting into the shower that late at night and if I wash them before work, I won't have enough time to let them dry.
I am just going to keep complaining until I've vent everything out.
I hate my job. I hate that Encem's away. I hate that I'll probably only see him next month. I just HATE that!
I haven't been to Sephora since December. Which surprised me, too.
My body aches. My chest aches. My heart aches. And I have puffy red eyes.

Life is NOT good.

#BeautyBlog 4

Feels like I haven't just chatted in my blog and honestly I don't know if I have anything to just chat about.

Work's been all too consuming and I'm kinda hating that part of my life right now. It's like all I look forward to when the roster comes out are my off days; when am I having my off days.. how many will I be getting this month..? It's sad.. I am having a sad period in my life, work-wise. People are leaving.. Friends are leaving, and I don't blame them. My company's been shitty to us, the little people -- to the point when customers complained about the company, I just agreed! I even told some that they're better off travelling with other airlines.. That's how proud I am of what I'm doing.

Just sad, really..

Plus I feel like I am constantly sick! I was sick at the end of last month, and was barely feeling better when I got sick again! What the hell was that? I know I am getting older (oh, life!) but my body can't have deteriorated that fast!

For that I must blame my bloody roster for not giving me enough rest to get better and fully like myself again. Just not enough time for TLC in my life now that Encem has started flying again.. Oh I won't start on that. Well maybe I will in some other entry!

Anyway, how about I move on to some things that actually gets me a lil more perky!

Painted my nails yesterday after weeks of not doing so. Tried another colour from the Ciaté Mini Mani Month and this time it was the colour Tweed And Tails. I don't know how I feel about it. Not too sure green/olive looks good on my skin. They're not bad I suppose, but I am just more comfortable with my shades of purple and fuschia I think.

Anyway, I am still loving the idea of having all these colours to try out -- even colours that I won't usually go for.

It does get a little annoying how the colour seems to separate a little in the bottle (because I've been ignoring them for a while), and they're too tiny that even when I shake it, it doesn't seem like it does anything to its contents!

I don't know.. I get annoyed pretty easily these days..

Despite being an off day yesterday, I also put on a bit of make-up, mostly to test out if I like some things really..

I had on NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer in Ginger, Benetint and Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow foundation in Champagne by Benefit, Stila eyeshadow in Kitten and In2It Waterproof Eyebrow Pencil in Acorn. Pretty minimal, I must say but a lot to just go down to the management's office to pay the water bill.

You know I love my NARS concealer so I don't have anything else to say on the subject. The In2It eyebrow pencil I have repurchased three times, so yeah.. I absolutely love that. It comes in a bevel and a fine tip and I adore the fine tip! It comes in two shades and I have them both for home and one more in my overnight make-up bag -- that's how much I love it. It is quite hard in consistency but I prefer to work on them than having put too much accidentally and wipe them out. They are also twist-up so no sharpening needed, always a plus point!

And Kitten is just awesome for the inner-eye highlight. Didn't know why I felt like putting it on for a minimalist look, but I did it anyway.

The products that I was really "testing" out was the Benefit products. The foundation in the particular shade looks quite orange in person but I think it looks okay on my skin? I didn't exactly put a lot of it and I did blend it pretty well, I think. It says to be a "brightening foundation" so it does have a dewy finish. It has a medium coverage, I didn't feel like I cared enough to cover my blemishes with a concealer though.

I didn't set the make-up with powder and in not more than three hours, my face looked super shiny!! It's just.. Ughh! Not loving the foundation. If you have combo skin, stay away! It hadn't even been a super hot day. Ughh!

As for Benetint, the scent strongly reminded me of rose syrup. Which makes you think if they're basically the same thing. If it is, you are better off getting that big bottle of rose syrup and it'd be WAY cheaper!

I don't hate the product, don't get me wrong. I think it works pretty well to give a nice bit of healthy tint to the lips and cheeks.

I'm sure you don't know this but I am really pale without any sort of make-up on and without the Benetint on the photo above, I would've looked as sick as I was feeling. So yeah, Benetint is an okay product. Not too sure how it'll look on deeper skintone though. The one thing that irked me about it was the fact that you're supposed to dab the product with the applicator and then blend with your fingers.. Now, I find that half the product just stained my fingers instead of the intended areas which is really annoying! It really felt as if you had just played around with those rose syrup concentrate!

Oh and since it's a stain, it does nothing for you really, than to leave that stain. So if you have dry lips, you'll still have dry lips -- but with a healthy pink tint! Wa-heyy!

Anyway, I just haven't been too impressed with the Benefit's products that I've tried. Kinda disappointed really. They're just one of those brands that I've always wanted to try, like Benetint, I must've wanted to try it since I first ever laid eyes on Benefit products.. that was yeaarss ago!

Fun fact: apart from lip balm, blusher was the first ever make-up that I bought! (Because I was so pale..) I remember getting a pinky Maybelline one (that looked a lot like the Dream Bouncy Blush but with a hard, powdery consistency) from Guardian that I even wore to school sometimes!

I remember getting 'caught' or more like noticed by a teacher once who asked if I had a blusher on and I just laughed and ran away! Hahahahha.. Such a rebel!

Anyway, I still have some more things to try from the Benefit purchase I made.. I don't know, there is still hope that I might like SOMETHING!